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tv   Coronavirus  BBC News  August 15, 2020 2:30pm-3:00pm BST

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3121 “ni tiff. “2m; “12.21 ii£1 “fl! fi£1§iim ”£121 e“ ”£1 thunderstorms. the temperatures are still managing to nudge up into the low 20s where the cloud is but is particularly cool on a north sea coast where we have mist rolling off the north sea, a chilly mist with the north sea, a chilly mist with the breeze coming out of the east. this is what it looks like end of the night on sunday. 17 degrees. that humid air has gone up the north teens overnight. here is sunday's weather forecast and the blobs of blue mean rain. potentialfor thunderstorms on sunday and even if you don't get them, the chances are mostly cloudy day with bits and pieces of drizzle. temperatures around 23 and the possibility of a bit more sunshine developing across southern areas. sunday monday the low pressure and that potentially thunderous weather is still very much with us. in fact look at the
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blue across the northern areas. glasgow, edinburgh getting some rain, belfast too and look at these across the midlands and wales. all of this could be thundery as this slow—moving area of low pressure which has decided to park itself over us which has decided to park itself over us still churns away and drives oui’ over us still churns away and drives our weather. not much change expected through the first—half of the week before this big low pressure comes our way which is expected to bring some unsettled conditions towards the end of the weekend into the weekend. as far as the week ahead is concerned it's this is bbc news, i'm lukwesa burak. looking very changeable on the the headlines... weather front. prince charles leads commemorations to mark the 75th anniversary of vj day, the day world war ii ended with victory over japan. we salute all those who remain among hello this is bbc news. us and offer our most heartfelt and undying gratitude for those the headlines... who are gone before. the prince of wales and veterans lay wreaths
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at the national memorial arboretum, prince charles leads commemorations to mark the 75th anniversary of vj day — the day world war two ended with victory over japan. as part of a service of remembrance. the prince of wales and veterans of the burma campaign lay wreaths at the national memorial arboretum as part of a service of remembrance. more anger at a—level results in england. we have been hearing from a student who said her life has been ruined. thousands of holiday—makers have arrived back in the uk after a last—minute dash to avoid a mandatory two week quarantine that came into effect at 4am this morning. now on bbc news, philippa thomas hears from people around the world about their extraordinary experiences during the pandemic and how covid—19 has changed their lives.
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welcome to coronavirus: your stories, a programme about how covid—19 is changing the lives of people around the world. i'm philippa thomas and this week we are talking about relationships and the way we think about them, what the pandemic has done to change the way that we look at each other. later, i'll ask you to imagine that you'vejust met someone, you've been on a few dates, it's looking good and suddenly it's lockdown and you have to spend every minute of every day together. that's what happened to katie and ryan, a canadian and a brit travelling abroad. we will get the verdict on their lockdown love life in new zealand. first, since covid—19 swept the world, we've perhaps all realised the importance
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of relationships, how much we all need to have somebody to love. we brought together two women who hear about a lot of relationships, the good, the bad and the ugly. since 1997, carolyn hax has been writing her advice column in the washington post, now read anotherin 200 newspapers in the united states. dating coach didi edet has been helping single people in nigeria trying to find meaningful romance in lockdown. the lockdown started in nigeria and in march, we had a huge spike in people wanting to date. we started something called dating in quarantine which was like an online speed dating, with no other way to meet people. and a lot of relationships
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started from there. that was something that was really positive from the covid. so does that mean for you, didi, single people are more focused on finding someone? they are more focused now because everyone is indoors, there are no social spaces open, and with social distance, people are forced to be at home and they do take time to get to know people. there is no pressure of any physical interaction so you do get to know the person and who they really are. carolyn hax, you hear about all sorts of situations and to ask about people who are in relationships already, what has the pandemic done, what are you hearing about most? i think the pandemic has intensified whatever you have so if you are in a relationship that is a little bit suffocating, and you are to the point of desperation now, if you feel, if you felt a little bit alienated, you feel like you never talk, i think people who are together want some space, people who are alone
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want to be together. it's almost like people were frozen exactly where they were when this started, so you have too much of whatever you were frozen with. and you refer to the fact, didi, that it's more about talking, you can't get physical quickly so you need to have the skills to talk to somebody new. yes, and it's making much more creative ways to date because some people attended online concerts together, they are having the video dates that you send through, and you get together and have a glass of wine, so many creative ways to date that we never thought about until now, so it's been really exciting to see what's been happening with all of this. when covid is over and everything goes back to normal, i think a lot of first dates still might happen on video or online, and social spaces anymore.
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—— and might not happen so much in restau ra nts a nd —— and might not happen so much in restaurants and social spaces any more. if people are being forced to get to know each other and have conversations at arm's length and try to get to know each other intellectually, it can't hurt, i think. it slows things down, and i think one of the markers of a dangerous relationship is that it happens very quickly so this might end up being a benefit in the long run, if people get used to dating more slowly. that's like a major, people have had deeper connections, we've had relationships start and end really quickly. i smile ismile a i smile a lot! right now, the relationships forming have had deeper connections, because there is no physical pressure, you get another person, you get to see their space, you get to see so much
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about the person before you see them. so this is definitely everyone's favourite when it comes to dating. carolyn hax, you talked about people getting stuck where they are. do you think there is a lot of realisation going on, people finding out things about partners they may have known for a long time? people hearing their partners work's personas because they're working from home, overhearing meetings, and they can't believe that they married somebody who says, "i want to circle back." i actually got a question from somebody saying her husband often used to come home from work to complain about what was going on. she's realised from overhearing him that he is the problem, and she didn't know whether she should tell him that she has realised in all of the stories, that he was the one causing
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the problems, and a lot of people laid off and unemployed are around all the time. and that's driving the partner crazy because their relationship worked because they were apart 40, 50 hours a week so it's really been eye—opening for a lot of people. carolyn, we are talking about the stresses of pandemic and lockdown, but have you seen positive takeaway is as well, meaningful changes for the better? absolutely. i think one of the things this whole situation has done is force people to reckon with things they don't want to think about and almost said this in response to the last question, sometimes getting bad information about people can be useful anyway. it's painful, but i think when people are realising that they had problems they weren't dealing with, and now they are forced to deal with them, i think people are going in better directions for themselves wherever possible and again,
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i don't want to overstate it because what's going on is terrifying and devastating and financially difficult, but people are really trying, it's a real human test, and people are trying to make something of it. looking at the dark side, the difficult side, i've read your column, carolyn hax, since i moved to the states in 1997 and you do often ring alarm bells in your column about situations people are in. yes, and there are people right now in some dangerous situations. on fridays, i do a live online chat and a woman wrote in from an abusive situation and she was with her partner and the lockdown came just as she was about to leave. she had all her plans and they were just washed away suddenly so she was in this dangerous situation and over several fridays, i say we, because readers were making
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suggestions, and she ended up connecting with domestic violence support groups and she ended up getting out but it took weeks and it was terrifying. i mean, she had options, but they were very limited all of a sudden. and i think this is not uncommon, i think people again, their safety is in being able to circulate, being able to get away, see a friend, go to work and when all those things were closed off, some people found themselves very quickly in big trouble. carolyn, you've been giving advice for a long time now and through some periods of great uncertainty and change and national trauma but given the fact we're through or have gone through lockdown, does this feel different in anything before? i'd never seen anything like this before.
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this is unprecedented. its scope, usually when something is going wrong, it affects a certain number of people, or people in a certain socio—economic group, but this is hitting everybody and hitting everybody in an asymmetrical way so everybody is struggling but almost everybody is struggling with something different. it feels very, it's like you can look out the window and everything seems normal but you know in the background, it's not normal, people don't feel like they can communicate or rally together for one thing to make it better, to help make sense so there is a sort of, i think people feel adrift and tired because being scared for a long period can make you very tired so i think it'sjust, a lot of people are at loose ends and looking to connect. didi, you've been telling us about how you have more subscribers,
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you are working harder at this point but does that also lead to extra stress and tiredness for you? how is it personally for you now? at first, it did, but then we had to get more staff. we do have work people around, so it's not as bad as it seems. but working with others has been easier. carolyn. people in my community are really rallying and being supportive, so the live discussions, for example, can turn around. if i'm feeling low, just having people weighing in and looking out for each other and offering such good insights, and a good sense of community, has been really helpful. it is kind of along two tracks — i am tired, i am stressed.
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but at the same time, it's put me in touch with some of the things that i find most rewarding about my life. relationship advisors didi edet in lagos and carolyn hax in washington dc on the many different stories they are hearing about relationships in this time of coronavirus. i'm philippa thomas and you are watching coronavirus: your stories, a programme about how covid—19 is changing lives around the world. next, we are going to hear about an unintended whirlwind romance between two young lovers who found themselves suddenly locked down together. back in the days before covid—19, canadian katie met brit ryan.
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a hairdresser and a builder, for the past few years have been doing some world travelling. they hung out in australia. she dated his good friend. they dated in new zealand and then the virus took hold and everything changed. they spoke to me just before news came through of further restrictions in new zealand, beginning with the moment they first realised they were going into lockdown together back in march. katie and ryan, let's start with the moment you realised you were going to be lockdown together. what was that like? panic. laughter. please, no. it was a shock to the system but not necessarily a bad one. just a bit of a shock. i'm sure it was a shock for everyone, really, just knowing we would be cooped up in a house for a really long time. and it was really new because we did not really want to live with each other right away. how strict was your lockdown? for maybe six or seven weeks we kind of did not leave the house at all.
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we could go for hour long walks but we could not go out of your neighbourhood, only as far as three kilometres, for essentials, only one person from the household could go. it was pretty strict. i want to roll back a bit. how did you meet? we met initially in australia, on a banana farm, four years ago. we were there doing our farm work to get second—year visa and we were both in mission beach in queensland. and that is where we met. just friends there... the first day we met you told me you loved me. i was probably drunk. i don't know, i don't remember that but i will take it. would it be fair for me to say that, as romantic partners, you did not get together
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until you were in new zealand this year? yes, yes. fate hasjust kind of brought it together properly. i went away on a trip to the south island and upon coming back, the spark ignited. and then you find out that from a few dates and knowing the spark is there, you're going to be living together and it is going to be non—stop. tell us about what that life was like. what was most memorable about having to be locked down together? we taught the cat how to walk on a harness, so now he's our dog. that's the best thing to come out of lockdown. so we can take him on our adventures now. you would be surprised he's so good oi'i you would be surprised he's so good on the lead. for a cat, we always get
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people stopping and saying it's a cat on a lead! but in terms of living together, i guess, that was an adjustment for sure. i mean, we never spent as much time with one single person and it took some adjustment. there were moments when we had to have, obviously, i was upstairs, she was downstairs, we were taking our free time but it kind of forced us to understand each other quickly and really get to know each other quickly and i'm sure that if it wasn't for lockdown, we would not be in the position we are at the moment. we wouldn't still be living together. what are some of the understandings you reached ? basically... ryan snores and when he snores really bad, he has to go to a different room. understanding number one.
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number two, don't mix the dirty laundry and the clean laundry together. life lessons! what did you learn? and ryan, what did you find out about katie? i found out that basically i was searching for someone that was similar to me and i was searching for someone that wanted to explore and travel and see the world and, you know, we go on adventures all the time together and i have not had that because i have always been like, you want to go here but my other partners were not interested but she is and i love that about her. she is always up for doing something fun. i knew that about you but never thought you would be the romantic one. so thanks!
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katie, looking back at where we started the conversation, when lockdown happened, you said you were panicking a bit, you were not ready for that sort of relationship and commitment. how do you feel now looking back at the way you went into this? i did a lot more soul—searching than i thought. as soon as lockdown was over, we did take a week break because it was so much of seeing each other and being in each other‘s space and we needed time to breathe and that week he went away, i realised this is what a normal relationship is supposed to feel like, and how much i cared for ryan and how much i wanted him around. soi so i don't regret anything. i wasn't ready at the time but now i am and i'm glad he was patient with me during that period because i'm sure i was not always enjoyable. actually, i know i wasn't. so you are both locked down together in new
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zealand. you're from canada and the uk. what were your families thinking? what kind of reaction did you get from your families? my parents kind ofjust realised i'm not coming back probably ever, unless i have to. they know i'm over here and i think they're just happy i found someone and from what they know of ryan, they really love him and are quite supportive and are pushing for grandchildren. no pressure, then? no, none at all. i think they would be sad if he was not around anymore. probably really sad. and what about you, ryan, when your family and friends found out you were living with someone full—time? i must say, my mum was really happy that i found someone that stopped me from biting my nails. all my life i have always been biting my nails and during lockdown, as we were always together, whenever i had my fingers in my mouth she would tell me
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to stop it and i actually grew some nails and it was really a surprise for my mum and she said to me, if katie is able to do that, she is the one. from the sound of it, lockdown has worked for you? are you going to make any predictions about staying together? no, not so much predictions. i think if you have too many expectations you set yourself up for disappointment. we are going to keep on going with it. we do have some future plans about goals once residency happens. just keep crossing the path as it comes but not thinking of breaking up. and any tips for anyone else? because there are a lot of people out there who are still feeling lonely or looking for love. everybody interested in relationships? any tips from what you guys have
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been through? to the single ladies out there, give the nice guy a chance. that is one thing i never did, i don't know why, and it is the best thing that can ever happen. definitely, be open to kindness and accept it because it works sometimes. and i say, just listen, boys, just listen. don't just say you are listening, actually take it in and listen properly. katie, does ryan live by his own advice? he does. it has been a work in progress. ifa if a nice bmw driver is by he doesn't listen to anything i say. most times we are good. you have talked about residency. you are thinking about visas. given that your homes have changed so much, is it possible to talk about what feels like home to you now? yes, i mean, ifeel like new zealand is my home now.
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i've been here for three years. i have a really greatjob that i love and all my friends, i have a cat, i have got ryan. as much as my family is back home, this feels like my base now and where i want to start my life. the same. this is our home. coronavirus, this pandemic has been such an uncertain time for everybody so how has falling in love helped you get through it? it has helped push the negative to the side because, during the whole pandemic, we have both been thinking a lot about each other and about what direction, we, as a relationship, are going to go in. although it has been really worrying about the pandemic and everything, we have had our own little, i was going to say...
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battle. you help me pulled me out of bad places and i helped you. we push each other achieve our goals and what makes us happy. after the pandemic that is something we will take with us, keep on moving forward. a heartwarming story of love surviving lockdown. good luck to them. i'm philippa thomas. thank you for watching.
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temperatures around 23 and the possibility of a bit more sunshine developing across southern areas. sunday monday the low pressure and that potentially thunderous weather is still very much with us. in fact look at the blue across the northern areas. glasgow, edinburgh getting some rain, belfast too and look at these across the midlands and wales. all of this could be thundery as this slow—moving area of low pressure which has decided to park itself over us still churns away and drives our weather. not much change expected through the first—half of the week before this big low pressure comes our way which is expected to bring some unsettled conditions towards the end of the weekend into the weekend. as far as the week ahead is concerned, it's 00:27:57,193 --> 2147483051:50:43,312 looking very changeable 2147483051:50:43,312 --> 4294966103:13:29,430 on the weather front.
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