Skip to main content

tv   Bloomberg Technology  Bloomberg  December 24, 2019 5:00pm-6:00pm EST

5:00 pm
>> the following is a paid program. the opinions and views expressed do not reflect those of bloomberg lp, its affiliates or its employees. announcer: the following is a paid advertisement from time life. announcer: if there was a rule, he broke it. george: when you're in someone else's house, and they leave you in the room, any room, alone for a moment, do you look in the drawers? [laughter] george: yeah, i don't want to steal anything. i just want to know where everything is. in case i'm asked. announcer: if the word was unspeakable, he spoke it. george: there's a lot of these little two-way double entendre words that have two meanings. words that ok -- i call them my part-time filth.
5:01 pm
ass is hardly even a dirty word. this has a few meanings you can't say on television. like you said you made a perfect ass of yourself tonight. but you can't say hey, let's go get some [beep]. [laughter] announcer: and if you think you are unshockable -- george: it's showtime. announcer: get ready for george carlin. george: i a professional am comedian. as opposed to the kind you run into at work all day long. announcer: over five incredible decades, comedy changed its look, changed its sound, and changed everything around us. george: visine, do they look that red? [laughter] [applause] george: can you hold that for me? hey, now i need it. now i need it. [laughter] hold them both for me. now you're under arrest. announcer: through it all, one man was the walking, talking,
5:02 pm
ranting, raving, voice of the culture. george: i call him muhammad ali because that's what he wants. oh yeah, he is a big dude and he hits hard. government wanted him to change jobs. government wanted him to kill people. [laughter] [applause] george: he thought it over and he said no, that's where i draw the line. [laughter] i'll beat them up, but i don't want to kill them. [laughter] and the government told him well, if you don't kill them, we won't let you beat them up. announcer: from ed sullivan to the very first saturday night live, from dozens of late-night appearances, to his incredible 14 hbo specials. george: hitler only had one ball. a lot of people don't know that. a lot of people don't know that. they say hitler, geez, he had a lot of balls. [laughter] george: one. [laughter] announcer: carlin broke ground and turned comedy on its head. george: that is a true oxymoron if i ever heard one.
5:03 pm
civil war. do you think any country could really have a civil war? say, pardon me. [mimicking gunshots] george: i'm awfully sorry. announcer: now, for the first time ever, you can see it all. over 30 unique performances covering the hilarious scope of george carlin's brilliant mind and one-of-a-kind career, captured in one complete collection, exclusively from time life. george: you know what's great about being a dog? you can choose to take a [beep] whenever you want. announcer: so hold onto your front row seat, because there are more than seven words you can't say on television. george: [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] announcer: but you'll hear every one in this outrageous, explosive collection. george: it is about the seven words you can't say on television, which i have been amending since then. folks have been reminding me of others. [laughter] their own little words that they have. [beep] [beep] and [beep] announcer: live, honest,
5:04 pm
uncensored, and funnier than ever. george: the greatest thing since sliced bread. [laughter] george: so, this is it, huh folks? the pyramids, for christ's sake. panama canal, the great wall of china, even a lava lamp. [laughter] to me is greater than sliced bread. what's so great about sliced bread? you got a knife, you've got a loaf of bread. slice the [beep] thing. [laughter] announcer: ladies and gentlemen, george carlin. george: i used to be this guy, or maybe this guy used to be me. i don't know, we were each other at one time. announcer: in the beginning, george was a freshfaced guy in a tie, making the rounds on the variety shows. george: welcome on a wonderful wednesday, winning your way with 100 wild and woolly wacky ways on the radio. announcer: but soon enough, the times were a-changing, and so was george. george: que pasa?
5:05 pm
weather,e hippy dippy man? announcer: he traded the tie for a beard and took aim at the establishment. george: police fired over the heads of rioters today, however they killed 200 people living on the second floor. [laughter] announcer: while george's star was rising, a little cable network called hbo was changing the comedy game. george: because of the fcc, i'm never sure what it is i'm allowed to say. announcer: on hbo, there was nothing george couldn't say. their raw and uncensored specials took us inside the club and brought comedy to the masses. george: i would like to bring you up-to-date on the comedian's health sweepstakes. [laughter] as it stands right now, i lead richard pryor in heart attacks, 2-1. [laughter] [applause] george: i'm ahead. that's right. but now, however, richard still leads me 1-0 on burning yourself up. [laughter] announcer: but even hbo had to warn us that carlin was special. >> tonight you will see a
5:06 pm
performance usually seen only if you could get to nightclubs, college campuses, and theaters where george carlin is a constant sellout. a portion of mr. carlin's performance needs a special introduction, at least for television. announcer: he was going to make us see the world in a whole new way. george: if there is a god, it has to be a man. no woman could or would ever [beep] things up like this. announcer: over the decades, carlin kept opening up our minds. george: we have more ways to describe dirty words than we actually have dirty words. that seems a little strange to me. it seems to indicate someone was awfully interested in these words. they kept referring to them. they called them bad words, dirty, filthy, foul, vile, vulgar, coarse, in poor taste, unseemly, street talk, gutter talk, locker room language,
5:07 pm
knotty, talk, bawdy, saucy, raunchy, rude, crude, lewd, lascivious, indecent, profane, obscene, blue, off-color, risque, suggestive, cursing, cussing, swearing, and all i can think of was [beep], [beep], [beep], and [beep]. announcer: he produced a staggering 14 hbo specials. george: that's my job, thinking up goofy [beep], every now and then letting you know what it is, or reminding you of things you already know, but forgot to laugh at the first time they happened. [laughter] announcer: comedians are a dime a dozen, but only one in a million is a legend. this collection is your chance to laugh along with the genius of george carlin anytime you like. george: in our school, we did not have grades. we did not have a's, b's, c's, or d's. the only a's i got was -- and this is a little corner cut -- a little corny, i got their
5:08 pm
attention, their approval, their approbation, their admiration, and their applause. those are the only a's i wanted and i got them. announcer: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth has never been funnier. george: if you heard one of the albums, you know that i once made a list of the seven words you can never say on television. but there are seven words you must say on television from time to time, and that's what i have to do now. we'll be right back after station identification. i hope you are ready for a little random anger. announcer: george carlin was not a fan of advertising. george: turn on the [beep] tv! announcer: but this collection is just too good to keep to ourselves, so we are going to give it to you straight. ready? here it goes. george: people ought to get what they want once in a while. announcer: introducing the best of george carlin, exclusively from time life. george: my kind of television. i just want some entertainment. it's just the kind of guy i am. announcer: this is the must have comprehensive collection of carlin classics. george: got to check it out. announcer: 10 discs featuring all 14 of his legendary hbo specials.
5:09 pm
george: [beep] cable. this has got to be on pay-per-view. announcer: plus, rare clips, including early appearances on the hollywood palace, "the jackie gleason show" and "the ed sullivan show." george: tonight's forecast, dark. announcer: hours of bonus content, including carlin's one and only mainstream network special, "the real george carlin." george: i grew up here, really. this is a groovy neighborhood. announcer: a lost company -- comedy record, sourced from over 40 years of carlin's personal cassettes. george: speaking of places where people blow cows, let me ask you a question. announcer: in-depth interviews featuring george in conversation with jon stewart, the archive of american television, and himself. george: they had to read these words out loud in court. i'm just proud of that. announcer: and so much more. george: have you ever noticed that you don't seem to get laid on thanksgiving? i think it is because all of the old coats are on the bed. announcer: key performances from the most masterful mind in the history of comedy.
5:10 pm
george: pussyfoot, interesting word. it is a rare female birth defect. announcer: no bull, no baloney. 10 discs, all carlin, all for only five payments of $19.99. george: wait until i tell them this. announcer: plus, if you order in the next 18 minutes, we will send you two free bonus dvd's. george: have you ever looked at your watch and then you don't know what time it is? [laughter] so you look again. announcer: totally exclusive and available for the first time ever, six of george's legendary appearances on the tonight show starring johnny carson. george: the bureau of indian affairs has discovered another mohican. [laughter] announcer: and we will ship it all to you absolutely free. george: great, isn't this great? announcer: plus, if you order now, we will also include a collectors booklet with photos and a look at his electrifying career. george: you want to see some pictures of my kid?
5:11 pm
no. announcer: this collection is all the best and only the best, over 30 unique performances totaling 30 hours from five decades. george: i'd like to repeat that, because it sounds vaguely important. announcer: anything we missed? george: no cash, no problem. [laughter] no kidding. announcer: right. this is the collectors carlin, and you won't find it in stores. only time life can bring it straight to you and your satisfaction is guaranteed. george: easy terms, affordable prices, moneyback guarantee. announcer: if you have not laughed yourself silly at the best of george carlin -- george: i always wanted to work in a delicatessen just so a woman would come in one day and ask me to give her some tongue. [laughter] and i would say well, i don't get off until 4:00. and she said well, i don't get off at all. that is why i am looking for some tongue. announcer: we'll refund 100% of your purchase price, no questions asked. george: when you return an item, you know where you put it, don't you? you put it anywhere you want. announcer: order now to get the best of george carlin.
5:12 pm
over 30 unique performances, including all 14 hbo specials, hours of exclusive extras, plus your two bonus dvd's of carlin on carson that have never been available before on dvd. that is 12 discs of honest, hilarious, classic carlin, plus the exclusive collectors booklet all for just five payments of $19.99. and we'll ship it for free. george: that is really a big bunch. announcer: no lies, just laughter. george: i'm here to entertain and inform. announcer: order now. george: i'll be heading home to you. yes, some words of fun. words like flammable. flammable, inflammable, and non-inflammable. [laughter] george: why are there three? [laughter] does it seem to you as though two words ought to be able to handle that idea? i mean either the thing flamms or it doesn't flamm. announcer: george carlin was a master of language.
5:13 pm
>> your fascination with language is so apparent. watching you work is almost like watching a musician. the way you weave words and use language for emphasis. george: you listen for rhythms, you look for ways to sing at the same time you are talking. you're talking, going doo-doo-dooo. and it's just natural. announcer: whether he was giving us the weather, the news. george: food and drug administration announced today that saliva causes stomach cancer. [laughter] [applause] george: however, only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time. announcer: or just his views. george: i got this real moron thing i do, it's called thinking. [laughter] and i'm not a really good american because i like to form my own opinion. [laughter] i don't just roll over when i'm told to. there are a couple of things about kids you have to remember.
5:14 pm
first of all, they're not all cute, ok? [laughter] in fact if you look at them close, some of them are rather unpleasant looking. announcer: he delivered a handcrafted, pitch perfect, pyrotechnic performance built from the ground up. george: i'm a rude dude, but i'm a real deal. lean, mean. ready to rock. rough, tough, and hard to bluff. i take it slow. i go with the flow. i ride with the tide. i got glide in my stride. driving and moving, sailing and spinning. jiving and grooving, wailing and winning. i don't snooze so i don't lose. i keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. i party hardy and lunch time is crunch time. i'm hanging in. there ain't no doubt. and i'm hanging tough, over and out. announcer: from rehearsals to clubs to late-night. george: if you change your plans and you alter your plans, you've done the same thing. but if you change your pants and you alter your pants, you've done two different things. announcer: when carlin works out a routine in front of an audience, you are seeing greatness taking shape before your eyes. george: as long as we're talking
5:15 pm
about minorities -- aren't we? indirectly? ok. i have to remember to keep that in. i'm getting laughs on the exposition now. announcer: these have been painstakingly gathered. and together, they take you inside the brilliant brain of a master comic. george: [beep] lance armstrong. you know that? [beep]. [beep] him and his ball and his bike. [beep]. [beep]. i am tired of being told who to admire in this country. [applause] george: while you're at it, [beep] tiger woods too! [laughter] announcer: he called them like he saw them. george: are you ready for some fun? >> yeah. george: well they say blondes have more fun. unfortunately, they also have more vd. [laughter] announcer: he told it like it is. george: the upper-class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. the middle classes pays all of
5:16 pm
the taxes, does all of the work. the poor are there just to scare the [beep] out of the middle class. [laughter] announcer: and he never let anyone shut him up. george: if there is a god, may he strike this audience dead. see? everything is fine, nobody's hurt. announcer: only george carlin could make us laugh by telling the truth. george: you noticed there are not many chinese guys named rusty? [laughter] >> all over canada they have been asking for us to bring back george carlin. so, ladies and gentlemen, here is comedian, comedy star george carlin. announcer: introducing the best of george carlin, exclusively from time life. george: i am, indeed, highly dandy. announcer: this is the must-have, comprehensive collection of carlin classics. george: we are doing a little tape for home consumption. announcer: 10 discs featuring all 14 of his legendary hbo specials.
5:17 pm
george: ever pet a cat who is lying absolutely flat? before you finish, way up in the air. announcer: plus rare clips, including early appearances on "the ed sullivan show," the hollywood palace, and "the jackie gleason show." george: usually the television day begins with the morning prayer, god willing. announcer: hours of bonus content, including carlin's one and only mainstream network special, "the real george carlin." george: i am from this neighborhood, and i used to get over and see you. announcer: in-depth interviews, featuring george in conversation with jon stewart, the archive of american television, and himself. george: time to get this thing going. announcer: and so much more. george: excuse me. [laughter] i don't remember eating that. [laughter] announcer: all the key performances from the most masterful mind in the history of comedy. george: a man in detroit is suing a soup company, claiming a bowl of alphabet soup spelled an obscene message to his wife. announcer: no bull, no baloney, 10 discs, all carlin, all for only five payments of $19.99.
5:18 pm
george: boy, this is good stuff. announcer: plus if you order in the next 10 minutes. george: three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10. announcer: we'll send you two bonus dvd's. george: don't forget to pick up your free gift. announcer: totally exclusive and available for the first time ever, six of george's legendary appearances on the tonight show, starring johnny carson. george: the ed sullivan impression, the idea is that everyone can do it. agents and managers can do them now. i am sure that somewhere in the world, there is a bear that can do it. and a good one. >> yeah. just from being on the show. and watching esther williams. announcer: and we'll ship it all to you absolutely free. george: good rule. announcer: plus if you order now, we will also include an exclusive collectors booklet with photos, quotes, and a look at george's electrifying career. george: don't know what you might find it here. -- in here. announcer: this collection is all the best and only the best, over 30 unique performances totaling nearly 30 hours from across five decades. george: what? announcer: anything we missed,
5:19 pm
george? george: and i answered, well, yes, apparently so. according to the information. announcer: right. this is the collectors carlin, and you won't find it in stores. only time life can bring it to you, and your satisfaction is guaranteed. george: spectacular thing going on there. announcer: if you haven't laughed yourself silly at george carlin -- george: this program was prerecorded. of course it was prerecorded. when else are you going to record it? afterwards? announcer: we will refund 100% of your purchase price, no questions asked. george: yes, you get back everything. announcer: so order now to get the best of george carlin, over 30 unique performances, including all 14 hbo specials, hours of exclusive extras, plus your two bonus dvd's of carlin on carson that have never been available on dvd. that is 12 discs of honest, hilarious, classic carlin, plus the exclusive collectors booklet, all for just five payments of $19.99. and we'll ship it for free. george: pretty neat deal, huh? announcer: no lies, just
5:20 pm
laughter. george: i have always been willing to put myself at great personal risk for the sake of entertainment. and i have always been willing to put you at great personal risk for a similar reason. -- for the same reason. announcer: order now. george: i'd like to place an order and i will be down to pick it up. i can go out on stage? [applause] announcer: george carlin thrilled every audience he stood in front of. but at his heart, he was a comic's comic. >> every time you are working, it gets my mind thinking. that is what i like it when you are around. jon: there are two things that comedians of all stripes have in common, basically. one, the belief that someone who is not as funny as they are is doing better than they are. [laughter] jon: and two -- we're a cynical bunch. and two, a sincere love and respect for george carlin and his work. >> george is different. he writes his own material. i can understand his creativeness. announcer: the generations that came before him were dazzled by him. jackie: if i were asked to describe our next comedian, i
5:21 pm
would have to say that he is one of the most original in show business. >> it is great to see new comedians come along, because if there is one thing the world can always use, you know it's a smile. and this young fellow is one of the best. announcer: and the generations that followed him all tried to walk in his footsteps. >> i've been a fan of george's ever since i can first remember him. boy, is he great now. >> i first began listening to george carlin in seventh grade. we had gotten a hold of class clown, and man, it was funny and dirty, and great. and we just knew, instinctively, that parents weren't going to like this kind of thing. my pleasure in listening to george grows every time i hear him, as my respect and admiration for him as a performer and as a person. announcer: george had a sharp mind, a powerful voice, and a huge heart. george: my mother, at these
5:22 pm
intermissions, she would see someone and say, look at that man over there. look at the way he's holding his glass. look at the way he moves his hand when he speaks. watch how he holds his cigarette. he's cultured. he has refinement. you have that. so. and i'm going to get a chance to realize that, for her, in a way. part of the deal, what happens when you get a pet. you have him for a while, they get old. [whistles] they go away. [laughter] george: it's inevitable when you buy the pet. you're supposed to know it in the pet shop. it's going to end badly. [laughter] you're purchasing a small tragedy. announcer: he loved his pet. he loved his family. and he might not have loved humanity, but he sure loved people. george: when you're born in this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. and when you're born in america, you are given a front row seat.
5:23 pm
and some of us get to sit there with notebooks. and i am a notebook guy. oh, my god. did you see that? did you see what he just? and i watch the freak show, and i got my notes and i make up stuff about it, and i talk about the freaks. and the freaks are all human. and they're like me. they are all the same. we're all the same. i'm not better, i'm not different, i am just a part now. announcer: george could joke about life and death. george: i'm getting old, and it's ok, because thanks to our fear of death in this country, i won't have to die. i'll pass away. [applause] george: the epitaph i'd like is, jeez, he was just here a minute ago. [laughter] announcer: he could keep it light. george: i'm a happy guy. announcer: or go deep into the dark. george: religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky, who watches everything you do. and the invisible man has a list
5:24 pm
of 10 specific things he doesn't want you to do. and if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place of burning and fire, and smoke and torture and anguish, for you to live forever. but he loves you. [laughter] announcer: george carlin had a mind for all times. and anytime he was talking, he was making us laugh. george: i have a theory on why people moan at certain jokes. envy. [laughter] george: now i'm going to lighten up a little bit. [laughter] we're going to go back to advertising. announcer: george was not a fan of advertising. george: [beep] here we go again. announcer: but this collection is just too good to keep to ourselves, so we're going to give it to you straight. ready? here it goes. george: you have going for a ride. announcer: introducing the best of george carlin, exclusively from time life. george: you want that now?
5:25 pm
announcer: this is the must have comprehensive collection of carlin classics. george: by any chance, did you hear that? announcer: 10 discs, featuring all 14 of his legendary hbo specials. george: it is hbo time. announcer: plus rare clips, including early appearances on "the jackie gleason show," "the ed sullivan show," and the hollywood palace. george: there will be a rain dance friday night, weather permitting. announcer: hours of bonus content, including carlin's one and only mainstream network special, "the real george carlin." [laughter] a lost comedy record, sourced from over 40 years of carlin's personal cassettes. george: i'm going to try this on you. i don't give a [beep] if you like it or not. i'm going to do it. announcer: in-depth interviews featuring george in conversation with jon stewart, the archive of american television, and himself. george: ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. announcer: and so much more. george: more fun for me. announcer: all the key performances from the most masterful mind in the history of comedy. george: when you are a kid, they threaten you.
5:26 pm
wait until your father comes home. he's going to read you the riot act. tell him i already read it myself! and i didn't like it either. i consider it wordy and poorly thought out. announcer: no bull, no baloney. 10 discs. all carlin. all for only five payments of $19.99. george: wow. announcer: plus, if you order in the next three minutes. george: 1, 2, 3, oh wow. announcer: we'll send you two free bonus dvd's, totally exclusive and available for the first time ever, six of george's legendary appearances on "the tonight show" starring johnny carson. george: on the medical front, researchers have discovered a new disease which has no symptoms. it is impossible to detect and there is no known cure for it. fortunately, it's confined to new jersey. [laughter] announcer: and we'll ship it all to you absolutely free. george: i'm in the car. announcer: plus if you order now, we'll also include an exclusive collectors booklet with photos, quotes, and a big picture look at george's
5:27 pm
electrifying career. george: you look at it. announcer: this collection is all the best and only the best, over 30 unique performances, totaling nearly 30 hours from across five decades. george: hurricanes form just off the coast of west africa. they form off the coast of west africa, they come all the way across the ocean, and they attack the south. [laughter] announcer: anything we missed, george? george: these are my rules. i make them up. announcer: right. this is the collectors carlin, and you won't find it in stores. only time life can bring it straight to you and your satisfaction is guaranteed. george: quality, value, style. announcer: if you haven't laughed yourself silly at the best of george carlin, we'll refund 100% of your purchase price, no questions asked. george: a little truth in advertising. announcer: so order now and get the best of george carlin. over 30 unique performances, including all 14 hbo specials, hours of exclusive extras, plus
5:28 pm
your two bonus dvd's of carlin on carson that have never been available on dvd. that's 12 discs of honest, hilarious, classic carlin, plus the exclusive collectors booklet, all for just five payments of $19.99. and we'll ship it for free. george: this is the best we can do, folks. this is what we have to offer. announcer: no lie, just laughter. george: you wouldn't know it, but some of the things i've said over the years, but i like people. [laughter] announcer: order now. george: our courteous and knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a selection that's just right for you and just right for your budget. thanks to you and thanks to everybody who thought that this would be a good idea. because i know i had some fun. see you on the street, take care now. announcer: it's always a good idea to feel the love with the best of george carlin. george: i love you. [beep] you. bye-bye. announcer: order now. >> the preceding was a paid advertisement from time life.
5:29 pm
>> the preceding was a paid program. the opinions and views expressed do not reflect those of bloombeeñ
5:30 pm
announcer: the following is a paid program. the opinions and views expressed do not reflect those of bloomberg lp, its affiliates, or its employees. ♪ announcer: the following is a paid advertisement from time life. robin: my name is robin williams. [laughter] announcer: hold onto your hat. robin: for those of you on acid, this is a frisbee. [laughter] announcer: the time has come for an epic entertainment event. it's mind blowing. it is jaw-dropping. and most of all, it's genius. >> genius. >> genius. >> genius. >> comedic genius. announcer: time life proudly presents a once-in-a-lifetime collection decades in the making. robin: yo --
5:31 pm
it's robin. announcer: "robin williams, comic genius." robin: you are sucked into drinking beer by thinking it is a healthy thing. all these beer commercials usually show manly men doing manly things. you've just killed a small animal. it's time for a light beer. [laughter] why not have a realistic beer commercial? what's a realistic thing about beer? it's 5:00 in the morning. you have just [expletive] on a dumpster. it's miller time. [laughter] announcer: for years, robin williams was the funniest man on earth, the biggest star in comedy, and everywhere robin went, every show he performed, every stage he set foot on, he left us laughing. robin: what jack is trying to say here, is he is so happy to be here, he could drop a log, really. [laughter] announcer: and now, for the first time ever, time life has painstakingly gathered over 60 unique performances from across four decades by the most lovable entertainer of our lifetime. robin: male cats have that amazing thing where they are kind of walking around going, "that's mine." [laughter] robin: "mine!"
5:32 pm
announcer: this is the ultimate collection of must-have masterpieces of comedy, spanning robin's entire incredible career, hand selected by the people you trust to bring you the best. robin: there is only one animal that can tell you that she's happy and wants to mate. that is coco the silver-backed gorilla. when she saw me, the blue-eyed simian, she was intrigued. i said to her trainer, "what does that mean?" "she wants you to tickle her." ok, i tickle her. she goes -- then, she goes -- "what does that mean?" "she wants you to lift your shirt." [laughter] i lift my shirt. she reaches out and grabs both my nipples. [laughter] robin: and then a fun thing happened, because my [beep] went, "somebody wants to play. can we go to phrase two?" no, do not go to phase two! [laughter] robin: this is not a human! warning, warning. [laughter] robin: but part of me went, "could be fun." [laughter]
5:33 pm
announcer: we all knew robin williams. and we all loved him. but now, you'll see robin like you've never seen him before. robin: we look like a before and after commercial. [laughter] robin: hi, thanks to this incredible implant, you can become tom cruise. announcer: you will go where he goes, from carson to leno. robin: remember when w used to call himself a compassionate conservative? i always thought it was a weird combination, like a volvo with a gun rack. [laughter] announcer: hbo to oprah. oprah: i have to rest up when you come, because you just never know what direction you will take us. [laughter] announcer: "mork and mindy," to ellen. robin: they go, "do you want to eat?" [laughter] "i know a place that frank sinatra had the best pasta ever made, this place. hold on one moment. [speaking italian]" [laughter] [speaking italian] [laughter]
5:34 pm
[applause] [laughter] [speaking italian] don't worry. i know him. [laughter] announcer: on talk shows, award shows. >> here to present you with the award for the funniest standup comic. robin: no. serious? who do i thank? nobody! it's mine! [laughter] announcer: standup tours, uso tours, and more. robin: ♪ you know my baby, you got be the fool ♪ [inaudible] announcer: so sit back, buckle up, and get ready to take a wild ride through the dazzling, dizzying, delightful mind of a comic genius, starting now. >> all of us admire the great,
5:35 pm
fast reflexes of great athletes. for those of us who have not been blessed with your gift, how do you explain the mental reflexes you deploy and are deploying tonight with such awesome speed? are you thinking faster than the rest of us, what the hell is going on? [laughter] [applause] robin: in case you ever go to the soviet union, it is necessary to know this phrase. [speaking russian] "why am i under arrest?" [laughter] announcer: robin was a comic, a rocket, a ball of energy bursting with contagious joy. robin: i would like to start off with something i am very proud of right now. [laughter] i will have to ask these people to move back, though. announcer: from his early years, to the height of his fame, robin williams was most at home on the
5:36 pm
stage. robin: home in san francisco. back again. announcer: robin's standup comedy was a roller coaster ride through his incredible mind, and he never did exactly the same show twice. robin: everyone i have ever known. [laughter] there are people here i have slept with twice. [laughter] announcer: you never knew what robin would say or do. robin: you don't need drugs when you have a kid, you are awake, you are paranoid, you smell bad. it is the same thing. announcer: because he never knew what he would say or do. robin: how are you, my friend? what? that's your old boss? did you [bleep] him? sorry. not an inappropriate question to ask in washington. announcer: but he always loved an audience, and we always loved him right back. >> robin, i was just out there enjoying perrier water and was laughing my [bleep] off and i am up here and i'm wet. robin: i guess you are ready then. [laughter]
5:37 pm
announcer: robin's legendary hbo specials captured his lightning in a bottle and preserved it for generations to come. robin: to do hamlet, to be, or what? announcer: these iconic shows span his explosive career from the electrifying beginning, to the masterful peak. robin: the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south is somebody losing a trailer, there is none. announcer: and they are altogether for the first time in this definitive, one-of-a-kind collection. robin: and now, they can invent a sport like golf. here is my idea. a ball in the gopher hole. you mean like pool? not with a straight stick, with a little stick. [laughter] the ball goes in the gopher hole. oh, you mean like croquet? [beep] croquet, i put the hole
5:38 pm
hundreds of yards away! right near the end, i will put a flat piece between the two flags to give you [bleep] hope. i will do this one time. [bleep] no! [laughter] >> as a standup, as a comedian, there was no one finer. >> you don't remember robin's act, you just remember you were there and you watched it, how you remember something where it's like 45,000 things just happened. robin: i would like to introduce to you a friend of mine who is a funny human being. but trust me, he is crazy. i worked with him once on stage. he asked me to come up and do improv with him, and i watched him for an hour. ladies and gentlemen, robin williams. announcer: introducing robin williams, comic genius, exclusively from time-life. robin: when they say, "let there be light," could this be a
5:39 pm
metaphor for the big bong? the big bong? god sat back and went, "wow, do you know what this needs? a lot more stuff. because up until now, there was not a lot around." and once we had the big bong, we had a total expansion of the universe, and god said, "i think i should create a sugary snack." [laughter] announcer: this is the comedy event we all have been waiting for. robin: we are having a wonderful here tonight. can i get an "amen" right now? >> amen. announcer: for the first time ever, one collection captures the full scope of robin's unique genius, across decades and across the globe. robin: [speaking french] >> quebec. robin: ok. so i will talk slower. [speaking french] announcer: everywhere he went, he made us laugh. now, you can own all his most amazing performances to watch again and again. robin: here in california, you
5:40 pm
have total amnesty, because they know nobody is going to stop themselves to the top of a range rover for a mocha. they walk through your yard like supermodels with hooves. like, "hi." are these your roses? [laughter] oh my god, a deer fence. [laughter] announcer: this is the very best of robin, on 11 dvd's for only five payments of $19.99. robin: you can hear credit cards flying out of their wallets right now. announcer: you will see over 60 unique performances from across four decades, like robin's legendary hbo specials. robin: i will show you around. [laughter] announcer: and hand selected, full-length episodes of "mork and mindy" with introductions from pam dawber. robin: formal introduction. get down. i am mork, from ork. na nu na nu? >> i'm mindy mcconnell. [laughter] announcer: you will travel the
5:41 pm
world with robin to watch him dazzle audiences everywhere. robin: chuck, pam, great to see you. [laughter] announcer: on carson, leno, ellen, and oprah. robin: don't try this at home. announcer: at awards shows, at home, and overseas. robin: everyone is in desert camo and one guy is in jungle green. i guess he didn't get the memo. announcer: this collection is packed with extras like bloopers, interviews, and more. >> check these legs out. am i french or what? announcer: even when robin was bad, he was always good. >> even when he was dirty, your mom would go, "he was kind of naughty, but funny." announcer: and now, you can own it all, even the stuff we can't show you on tv. robin: the sensors over there are going -- i hand you my resignation. announcer: plus, if you order in the next 18 minutes, we will also send you an exclusive bonus dvd just in time for the holidays, the acclaimed hbo
5:42 pm
documentary, "robin williams: come inside my mind." and if you order now, you will also receive a special stocking stuffer from time-life. "robin williams: uncensored," full of behind-the-scenes photos, hilarious quotes, and personal tour notes. robin: i want to read to you from a special book here. it says here, "two jews walk into a bar." [laughter] announcer: and we will ship it all to you absolutely free. this collection is as unique as robin. it makes a great gift, and you won't find it in stores. only time-life can bring it straight to you, and your satisfaction is guaranteed. robin: i love when you are standing, but even when you are sitting. announcer: if robin doesn't brighten your day and have you dancing in the aisles, we will refund 100% of your purchase price, no questions asked. robin: that's right, and if you order now, you also get the salad.
5:43 pm
[laughter] announcer: so order now to get robin williams comic genius, over 30 hours of stand up, late-night performances of "mork and mindy," plus the documentary "come inside my mind." that is 12 dvd's bursting with comic genius, plus robin williams uncensored, all for just five payments of $19.99, and we will ship it for free. robin: it really sounds great to me. you really should see it. that is right. announcer: this is not your average comedy collection. it is an epic entertainment event, so give yourself the gift of laughter. order now. robin: you better buy this or i will nail your [bleep] to a tree. i can grant you one wish. >> i wish to have robin williams on my show. robin: that is impossible. he is a big hollywood superstar. he is an academy award winner. are there any other wishes you would have? >> i would like to be young and beautiful. robin: ok, i will get you robin williams. announcer: robin's joy was contagious. everywhere he went, people broke out in smiles and laughter.
5:44 pm
robin: are you ok? announcer: he quickly became television's best guest. [cheering and applause] ♪ robin: don't be afraid. come on, mr. camera, we are going crazy. >> look. toys all over the set. don't be afraid. >> he just turned on the switch and let him go. robin: can you teach me this? you better hold on. don't make me come down and get real crazy. announcer: our favorite hosts would do their best jokes when robin dropped by. >> we're having a pretty good time here with robin. i have laughed so much. i'm getting one of those laugh headaches. you gave me a case of your wine. it is very tasty. robin: that's a good thing. ellen: is it your wine? you make it? robin: i don't make it personally. a group of little ladies in australia knit jumpers for penguins. "they are for the little ones, you know." they knit these penguins
5:45 pm
sweaters the penguins wear until their feathers grow back. >> that's adorable. are they, like, tank tops? [laughter] robin: a lovely gay jumper. "i want something to make my flippers look good." announcer: even other guests got caught up in the madness. [laughter] >> do women generally like you making those noises? robin: oh, yeah. [laughter] announcer: when the unexpected happened -- >> both of these are real talent houses. robin: it is the comet again. people of earth. >> we are back on. we are back on. robin: it is the mothership, jay. announcer: there was no one you would rather have up to bat than robin, especially when he brought a friend. >> robin used to scream on the set, "he's back! he's back! he is so hot!" [laughter] i am like joan embry, and i just brought him out. [laughter]
5:46 pm
[applause] announcer: and when the unexpected was what you expected, robin was right where he belonged. robin: what sound or noise do you love? [fart noise] [laughter] robin: because it is musical, but it could be anything. it is the most humanizing noise, to know that even the pope could be going [speaking italian] [fart noise] >> robin williams was the first real celebrity interview i did. >> robin came out and he wanted to kill, he wanted to slay the audience. >> robin, you felt you were watching a genius at work. robin: take two. let's go, let's go. let's start from the beginning. let's go. announcer: introducing robin
5:47 pm
williams comic genius, exclusively from time-life. robin: in california this summer, all the state parks caught on fire. which is bad, because these parks are full of weed. it is bad news. even the guys fighting the fires were like -- [laughter] "oh my god, make another rainbow, tommy." even smokey the bear is going, "only you can -- " [laughter] announcer: this is the comedy event we have all been waiting for. robin: the adventure of your life. remember that, boys and girls. announcer: for the first time ever, one collection captures robin's unique genius across decades and across the globe. robin: i would like to take some pictures for the people at home in the soviet union. excuse me. thank you. announcer: this is the very best of robin on 11 dvd's for only five payments of $19.99, you will see over 60 unique performances from across four decades, like robin's legendary hbo specials. robin: i know there is a cure for whatever bioterrorism they send at us, it lies within keith richards.
5:48 pm
i know that. he's the only man on the planet who can go, "anthrax, alright." [laughter] announcer: and hand selected full-length episodes of "mork and mindy" with introductions from pam dawber. robin: no, sir. that is not quite right. i am the son of a test tube. announcer: travel the world with robin to watch him dazzle audiences everywhere. robin: everybody is on here. look at this. alaska. [seal noise] hawaii. and there is california -- "for sure, totally." announcer: on oprah, ellen, carson, and leno. >> you guys complement each other. robin: 20 years of foreplay. announcer: on talk shows, award shows, at home and overseas. robin: so nice to be in a place called manass. i come from san francisco. is there really a place called
5:49 pm
manass? it is a base. oh, i'm going. announcer: this collection is packed to the gills with extras like bloopers, interviews, and more. >> he is like a child with the mind of a genius. announcer: even when robin was bad, he was always good. robin: caliente. [laughter] robin: so bad. raise a hand. announcer: and now you can own it all, even the stuff we can't show you on tv. robin: yes! announcer: plus, if you order in the next 10 minutes, we will also send you an incredible exclusive bonus dvd, just in time for the holidays, the acclaimed hbo documentary, "robin williams: come inside my mind." robin: [robot voice] it's robin. i'm calling you, giving you love. goodbye. announcer: and if you order now, you will receive a special stocking stuffer from time-life. robin: merry christmas.
5:50 pm
ha ha ha ha. announcer: robin williams uncensored, full of behind-the-scenes photos, hilarious quotes, and personal tour notes. robin: but wait, there is more. announcer: we will ship it to you absolutely free. robin: thanks for nothing. [laughter] announcer: this collection is as unique as robin. it makes a great gift, and you won't find it in stores. only time life can bring it straight to you, and your satisfaction is guaranteed. robin: check it out. check it out. announcer: if robin doesn't brighten your day and have you dancing in the aisles, we will refund 100% of your purchase price, no questions asked. robin: here is five dollars. announcer: so order now to get robin williams comic genius, over 30 hours of stand up, late night, uso performances, "mork and mindy," hours of exclusive extras, plus the hbo documentary "come inside my mind" bonus dvd. that is 12 dvd's bursting with comic genius, plus robin
5:51 pm
williams uncensored, all for just five payments of $19.99, and we will ship it for free. robin: that is cool. that is cool. announcer: this is not your average comedy collection, it is an epic entertainment event. so, give yourself the gift of laughter. order now. robin: to television, to life, and to happiness. may we all stay crazy. for me, i love to take the chance and improvise. that is the greatest high in the world, when you are trying new stuff and getting suggestions and playing and doing new things, that is my favorite. that is the unknown. announcer: robin williams was born with a special gift. robin: my first joke was, "i love you in blue, i love you in red, but most of all, i love you in blue." announcer: and for decades, he shared that gift everywhere he went. robin: santa was delivering presents in iraq, but the reindeer are dropping flares out of their [expletive]. [laughter] robin: sorry, little girl. she had to go now. is she ok? no, no, it is ok. she can stay. she thinks i am peter pan? in many ways, i am.
5:52 pm
[laughter] announcer: the legacy of robin is a lot of jokes, a lot of fun, and a whole lot of love. >> robin was such a kind soul, he was such a kind soul. robin: i would also like to thank the writers. they are not here right now. they are somewhere else doing wonderful drugs. [laughter] and for those of you at home on drugs, it is ok -- all the people of the production staff, the people who worked with us, around us, sometimes near us, an incredible group of people, thank you very much. it's incredible. >> i think robin was the most generous person i have ever known, but not just to me, but to lots and lots of people. robin: i am here for one reason. you. i am also here to say, you rock. [cheering] robin: if you could save one person, if you could change one person, you have done something. but for me, it is that laugh.
5:53 pm
you know? >> part of dad's giving and generous spirit was finding acceptance. that's the word. it wasn't about the adulation, it was more so about being accepted. that was something that drove him forward and contributed to him continuing to be generous in spirit, and giving and compassionate throughout his entire life, and in so many different ways. robin: i dedicate this to the memory of a friend of mine. chris reeve, i miss you. and i also say, "may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest, sweet prince. good night." >> that need for acceptance. that drove him to continue to do it. robin: that time my son looks at me and gives me the look in the eyes like, "what is it going to be?" "son, i don't know, but maybe along the way, you will take my hand, tell a few jokes, and have
5:54 pm
some fun. hey, how do you get to the met?" "money." "yeah, come on, pal." [applause] >> having listened to everything on this collection, i think it comes as close as humanly possible to bringing robin's genius back to life. robin: for those of you at home watching your television set, if you want to feel the power, grab the back of your tv and get a shock. [laughter] announcer: introducing robin williams, comic genius, exclusively from time-life. robin: what do you want to do, my love? maybe we can go to that queen gypsy restaurant and ask for our favorite waiter and he will give us a boost near the oyster bar. i would sit by the fireplace, but i know that bums you out very much. [laughter] announcer: this is the comedy event we have all been waiting for. >> that is a lot of fun. announcer: for the first time ever, one collection captures the full scope of robin's unique
5:55 pm
genius across decades and across the globe. robin: si. announcer: everywhere he went, he made us laugh. and now, you can own all his most amazing performances to watch again and again. robin: ling ling the panda, she must mate. so they can build the wing for the zoo. so they go to china and anesthetize a panda, which is kind of redundant, and they bring him back to america, put him in a cage with ling ling and say, "go mate," and he looks at her like, "that is one ugly panda." [laughter] announcer: this is the best of robin on 11 dvd's for only five payments of $19.99. robin: what have you got to lose? announcer: you will see over 60 unique performances from across four decades, like robin's legendary hbo specials. robin: maybe they should have a gps that is age-appropriate. it ages with you. like, "there is your turn! hello?" [laughter] announcer: and hand-selected, full-length episodes of "mork and mindy" with introductions from pam dawber. pam: we were breaking up all the time. we had license to do that. announcer: travel the world with robin to watch him dazzle audiences everywhere. robin: mr. sinatra, can i just shake your hand? >> why not?
5:56 pm
robin: sell my clothes, i am to heaven. announcer: on leno, carson, oprah, and ellen. ellen: you brought something. robin: he is back here. aww. and unless you send your money, we are putting him in the microwave. [laughter] announcer: on talk shows, award shows, at home, and overseas. robin: be very, very quiet. i am looking for terrorists. announcer: plus, every single dvd in this collection is packed to the gills with extras like bloopers, interviews, and more. robin: yes! announcer: even when robin was bad, he was always good. robin: they ask me, why do i touch myself? because it is there. announcer: and now, you can own it all, even the stuff we can't show you on tv. robin: don't try these jokes at home. announcer: plus, if you order in the next three minutes, we will send you an incredible, exclusive bonus dvd just-in-time for the holidays, the acclaimed hbo documentary, "robin williams: come inside my mind." and if you order now, you will also receive a special stocking
5:57 pm
stuffer from time life. robin: merry christmas, happy hanukkah. announcer: robin williams uncensored, full of behind-the-scenes photos, hilarious quotes, and personal tour notes. robin: mother gave me this so i can write my new book. announcer: and we will ship it all to you absolutely free. this collection is as unique as robin, it makes a great gift, and you won't find it in stores. only time life can bring it straight to you, and your satisfaction is guaranteed. robin: lord, yes, child. announcer: if robin doesn't brighten your day and have you dancing in the aisles, we will refund 100% of your purchase price, no questions asked. so order now to get robin williams comic genius, over 30 hours of standup, late-night, uso performances, "mork and mindy," and hours of exclusive extras, plus your bonus dvd of the hbo documentary, "come inside my mind." that is 12 dvd's bursting with comic genius, plus robin
5:58 pm
williams uncensored, all for just five payments of $19.99, and we will ship it for free. robin: learn to be funny in your spare time. announcer: this is not your average comedy collection. it is an epic entertainment event, so give yourself the gift of laughter. order now. robin: which way is the telephone? that way. you are only given a little spark of madness. and if you lose that, you are nothing. don't -- from me to you -- don't ever lose that, because it keeps you alive, because if you lose that -- that is my only love. crazy. [applause] ♪ announcer: so let robin light up your home and your heart. [applause] robin: we did it! announcer: order now. announcer: the preceding was a paid advertisement from time life. announcer: the preceding was a paid program.
5:59 pm
the opinions and views expressed do not reflect those of bloomberg lp, its affiliates, or its employees. ♪
6:00 pm
♪ >> good evening, good morning and good 2020. this is always one of the high points of the year. we will take it for what it is. a surveillance special -- a look a year ahead to 2020. we are always trying to find someone with experience, with perspective. they have been right and wrong. we can do no better after this most interesting 2019 than abby joseph cohen, senior strategist at goldman sachs. her contribution to the american financial system andh

936 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on