tv CNN Newsroom CNN May 21, 2011 10:00pm-11:00pm PDT
like people i think on their tv show, they only get to see a small little portion of how great she is. but she's amazing. >> well, jesse, i wish you luck. >> thanks, piers. >> i hope we don't have to meet in a couple years and discuss another terrible scandal cascading on your head. >> no, i think i'm done with all that. >> thank you. good evening, everyone. thank you for joining us. i'm don lemon in los angeles. anyone who's had an unfaithful partner knows it is a wound that never heals. but sometimes adultery goes beyond the immediate people involved. when the cheater is a wealthy or powerful person, the sense of betrayal can be far reaching. private indiscretions can have very public consequences. think of bill clinton as president. his infidelity didn't simply affect his family. it affected the entire country
which was tied up for a year with the investigation and impeachment. so for the next hour in partnership with "time" magazine, we'll take a look at what makes wealthy powerful men who seem to have it all risk everything for adulterous sex. the latest revelations were bombshells, first a criminal accusation against the head of the international monetary fund by a hotel housekeeper. dominique strauss-kahn has since resigned his post and is out of jail on monday but even before the ink was dry on that headline, former california governor arnold schwarzenegger publicly admitted fathering a child with his family's housekeeper over a decade ago. and as cnn's tom foreman explains, these two men both very wealthy and politically connected, are simply the latest in a crowded rogue's gallery of cheaters. >> reporter: the former california governor has plenty of company. >> i did not have sexual
relations with that woman. >> reporter: ever since president clinton was caught fooling around 13 years ago, internet rumors, cameras everywhere, and the public appetite for dirt have outed dozens of public figures for indiscretions. among republicans such scandals have had particular impact. former house speaker now presidential contender newt gingrich led the charge against clinton but twice had affairs of his own. david vitter and senator john ensign likewise have defended conservative family values but vitter was linked to prostitutes and ensign cheated on his wife. when the governor of south carolina, mark sanford, was found with his argentine mistress not on the appalachian trail -- >> i have been unfaithful to my wife. >> his wife suggested he take a hike. >> and i frankly didn't know where he was. >> and it's not as if republicans have cornered the market on indiscretion. >> because i did not want the public to fe what i had done. >> former vice presidential candidate john edwards talked to
nightline about his affair with this woman, rielle hunter. she claimed they had a love child, something at first edwards denied. >> when you were running for president you flat out denied having a relationship with rielle hunter. did you give me a truthful answer? were you telling the truth then? >> yes. >> he later came clean and his wife elizabeth now deceased, left him and took their kids with her. other democrats, former new york governor now cnn host eliot spitzer paid for escorts. former new jersey governor jim mcgreevey cheated with another man. but it's not just politics. in sports quarterbacks brett favre and ben roethlisberger were accused of but never charged with misconduct. tiger woods went into the rough over extramarital playing partners. >> i was unfaithful. i had affairs. >> and in entertainment scandals have enveloped david letterman, hue grant, george michael, and jesse james just to name a few. so the former california
governor can take consolation knowing as a politician, an athle athlete, and an entertainer he is not alone but then when you think about it, that was the whole problem. tom foreman, cnn, washington. >> sex, lies, arrogance, it's just a headline on the "time" magazine cover. it also reads what makes powerful men act like pigs. we put that question to the author of the feature story executive editor nancy gibbs. >> it is not all men by any means but what we have found through history is that with opportunity seems to come an inclination to act on it and the more wealthy and powerful and famous and accomplished men are, the more opportunity they have to misbehave. what some social scientists have suggested is that the ordinary men who don't have an opportunity develop the muscles of monogamy, of self-restraint and delayed gratification, but if over time you all this
opportunity, all of these women, then those muscles weaken and you end up with men whose success often also makes them feel entitled to take whatever they want and there's -- if it's available, then they are inclined to take it. >> how do you go from being a man in power, being a business person, to being confident, to entitlement and narcissism. what other way is there of putting it? >> well, you wonder which comes first? is it the narcissist who has a high opinion of themselves or that is an advantage in becoming successful or does the success make you think that the world should revolve around you? maybe that there's a little bit of both, but what we find happening, and this happens with celebrities in sports and entertainment as well as in politics, is that if you're surrounded by people telling how special you are and who have a personal or a political interest in your success and therefore might be inclined to cover up when you misbehave, that does
create yet another set of circumstances for you to take advantage of situations where good judge would say that you shouldn't. >> is it the thrill of getting away with it, nancy, like, yes? >> for some men there is an element of that, of the excitement that comes with feeling like they are special and the rules don't apply with them, and the more often they turn out to be right, the more often that they're going to cross that line again. >> so why are we having this conversation? it's because of two men, dominique strauss-kahn, the now former head of the international monetary fund charged this week with sexual assault and former california governor arnold schwarzenegger who admitted he fathered a child over a decade ago with a housekeeper. two 34emen with cases that will yield different results. also gail haggard the wife of ted haggard. he preached against cheating, then admitted to having a relationship with a man.
gail haggard is here live to explain why she has stood by her husband. and the big question for many wives and partners, especially after the news of this week, how do you keep your man from cheating on you? we have some advice. and if you have any questions or comments, write to us. you can reap out to us on twitter, on facebook, on cnn. m cnn.com/don. lding up our wireles network all across america. we're adding new cell sites... increasing network capacity, and investing billions of dollars to improve your wireless network experience. from a single phone call to the most advanced data download, we're covering more people in more places than ever before in an effort to give you the best network possible. at&t. rethink possible. [ woman speaking chinese ] thank you.
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he was a man in charge of billions of the world's money, but now the former head of the international monetary fund, dominique strauss-kahn is, holed up in a manhattan apartment, out on bail after allegedly trying to rape a hotel maid. our susan candiotti walks us through his scandalous past week. >> reporter: it was friday the 13th, the day before the alleged assault, when dominique strauss-kahn checked into a luxury hotel in midtown manhattan, the sofitel. the head of the international monetary fund was looking for company. within minutes of checking into suite 2806, he called the front desk and invited the female receptionist to join him for a drink. she declined. fast forward to the next day, around noon, a source tells cnn a male service attendant entered his room to retrieve service items. minutes later a 32-year-old maid
noticed the door was ajar and entered the room to clean. the attendant then left. inside 62-year-old strauss-kahn allegedly was naked in the bedroom and grabbed at the maid chating her through the suite. kahn chased her through the suite and forced himself on her. >> he forcibly raped her. when he was unsuccessful he forced her to perform oral sex on him. >> reporter: about a half hour later, police say strauss-kahn checked out of the hotel. prosecutors contend he was rushing here to jfk airport for a flight to paris. the defense claims he was in a hurry to meet his daughter for lunch before heading here to the airport for a prebooked flight. soon after the alleged attack, the maid was reporting the incident to hotel staff. around 1:30 in the afternoon, the police were called. no one knew of strauss-kahn's whereabouts until he called the hotel from the airport look him to look for his lost cell phone,
a move the defense says proves he's innocent and was not fleeing the country. on monday, a dishevelled strauss-kahn appeared in court where he was charged with an array of charges that could put him behind bars for up to 25 years. he was sent to rikers island jail. wednesday he resigned as imf chief. in a brief letter to the board he proclaimed his innocence saying, quote, to all i want to say that i deny with the greatest possible firmness all of the allegations that have been made against me. in court thursday, supported by his wife and daughter, a clean cut strauss-kahn was granted some freedom. >> i have decided that i will grant a bail. >> reporter: after being rejected by another apartment because of a media crush, strauss-kahn is now living here in lower manhattan until he moves again next week with the media in tow. he's under a court ordered 24-hour watch. his next court appearance, june 6.
susan candiotti, cnn, new york. >> in "time" magazine's feature article called sex, lies, arrogance executive editor nancy gibbs points out that in all of the powerful men involved in recent scandals the allegations on dominique strauss-kahn are on a whole different level. not a cheater or liar, he's accused of being a predator. she talked with me about new accusations made by a journalist. >> well, after this news broke, another woman came forward in france, talking about how when she went to interview him, when she was in her early 20s, she was a journalist, she was actually god daughter to his second wife, that that interview turned into an attack, that he initially was holding her hand, and then he -- but he ended up trying to rip her clothes off, trying to take her pants off, undoing her bra and her on the floor kicking him. she describes it as a violent attack.
and at the time, this was in 2002, she never pressed any charges so the case was never investigated. her mother admitted to talking her out of it. and the reason was partly this was a very powerful man, and the fear was that if this daughter came forward to accuse him, that people wouldn't believe her, that it would end up ruining her life. and so, you know, now all these years later, with the accusation of this episode in the hotel room, she has come forward. you know, the cynical view is women now come forward in order to cash in and the less cynical view is women now come forward because there is a chance they think their stories will be believed. >> dominique strauss-kahn was expected by many to become the next president of france. that likely won't happen now. ahead this hour, how the case is playing out across the atlantic, it's not the same as what you're seeing here, definitely. but first, arnold schwarzenegger, how a 13-year-old secret about fathering a child with his
dropping revelation that he fathered a son with his family housekeeper. it's something he has hid from the world for 13 years now. imagine that. our thelma gz gutierrez looks at how the secret came after so many years. >> reporter: the lives of the former california governor, his wife and four children had been imploding in private when over the course of the week the skrandal surrounding the other woman and their love child exploded in the media. it began on may 9 with the surprising announcement that the couple was separating after 25 years of marriage. >> we both love each other very much, we are very fortunate that we have four extraordinary children. >> reporter: then a week later a bombshell. schwarzenegger releases a statement confirming a los angeles times story that he had an extramarital affair and a child with a member of his household staff. and the next day, we learned who she is. the "new york times" identifies the woman as 50-year-old mildred
baena, who had worked in the schwarzenegger home as a housekeeper for 20 years. the child's birth certificate obtained by cnn shows the baby, a boy, was born in 1997, just days after maria shriver gave birth to her youngest son. the man who was named on the document showed her then-husband as the father. she did have two older children from a previous marriage, her daughter jacqueline rosa has come to her defense. >> mom's a great woman. >> reporter: in january she retired from her job with the schwarzeneggers to an upscale home very purchased in bakers field, california, 100 miles away from the brentwood mansion where she worked. >> she has kept a low profile according to neighbors. they also describe her son as going to a local middle school and they say that he's very polite, incredibly bright, and well-liked in the neighborhood.
>> the son is a wonderful, very respectful, very intelligent young man. he's got great manners. >> reporter: ever since the scandal broke, the teenager has not been seen at school. neighbors say neither the boy nor his mother have returned home. as for schwarzenegger, he was looking forward to returning to the big screen, he just announced three upcoming movie deals have been put on hold while he works on his personal life. while he was laying low away from the cameras, maria shriver has stepped out taking center stage with oprah during one of the final tapings of her show to a roaring applause in front of 20,000 people. thelma gutierrez, cnn, bakersfield, california. >> well, schwarzenegger has faced sex scandals before, accused of groping and other bad behavior against women when he campaigned to become governor of california. in her article "sex, lies, arrogance" nancy gibbs takes
note of how maria shriver acting back in 2003 and how she's acted with this latest revelation. >> at the time maria shriver stood by him as a character witness, it was when more than a dozen women had accused him of this aggressive groping and harassing, and she said, i know him, take my word for it, he's a gentleman, he's a great guy. and that carried a lot of weight with voters. what's especially tragic and poignant this week is that when he told her all this time he had a son that he had had with this housekeeper, she was not prepared to stand by that and she moved out. so we have no way of knowing what she would have done if she had known the truth back when she was defending him. >> okay. so we know many of the details, but none of them seem to answer the burning question, and that's why, what makes men rise so high fall for one of the most primitive desires, and that's sex?
our resident human behavior expert dr. wendy walsh joins us and you're the author of "the boyfriend guide." why do you think this keeps happening to powerful men? >> these are like the star hunters from our past. they brought back the woolly mammoth for the whole village which gave them access to more females, right? today's hunters are the athletes, actors, the wall street power brokers. >> high profile. >> they're risk takers, they want a sense of entitlement, it's never too much for them. but what is the psychological underpinning? could there be a bit of narcissism? people think narcissism is i'm great, i deserve all this. the underbelly is actually a sense of self-loathing. trying to make up for what they don't deserve. >> there's a prime time drama based on this called "the god wife." why do these wives stand by
their accused men? >> well, women love love. women define themselves through their relationships. and their relationship and their attachment and the security of their family is sometimes far more important than losing him physically. >> so why are they attracted to these bad boys? if they love love, maybe these men are not prone to that. >> there's certainly a chance they can have better opportunities with their children, more money, better education, everybody can eat better and live in nice houses, there's that piece of it, the gold digger if you will. but another piece is that bad boys are kind of a random interval reward system, they're like a slot machine in vegas, because you're hoping they do pay off and be a really good guy at some point. because when they do pay off in little dribs and drabs along the way, it's really nice. >> how many men cheat and is this really an instinct that we're fighting? >> here is the problem with studies on infidelity, they're mostly self-report studies so people lie a lot. people tend to lie about money and sex. one study i came up with that
seems to be the most valid says that about 60% of married men are unfaithful at some point. >> so men in power, should they be examining themselves right now? and are they susceptible to this type of behavior? >> monogamy is more likely with men if they make an intellectual decision, an intellectual commitment to themselves to overcome their animal instinct. so the question is what kind of role model are these men. why are you laughing at me? >> i love talking to you and it's a great conversation. i want you to stick around. in 20 minutes we're going to talk about how a woman can stop a bad boy from playing her. >> exactly. there's signs she can look for to make sure she does not hire a bad boy as a boyfriend. >> dr. bend wendy, we'll see you in just a little bit. it's called a misconduct matrix. it's one of the features of this weeks's "time" magazine to understand whose acts are worse than others.
we'll take a look at it right after the break. and if your spouse cheated on you, would you stand by him or her. when we come back, we'll talk with gayle haggard about why she decided to stay with her husband, pastor ted haggard, after he cheated on her. we're adding new cell sites... increasing network capacity, and investing billions of dollars to improve your wireless network experience. from a single phone call to the most advanced data download, we're covering more people in more places than ever before in an effort to give you the best network possible. at&t. rethink possible. better than any other luxury brand. ♪ intellichoice proclaims that lexus has the best overall value of any brand. ♪ and j.d. power and associates ranks lexus the highest in customer satisfaction.
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>> as part of its article "sex, lies, arrogance," "time" magazine created what's called a misconduct matrix. it's a chart created to help readers see that all men beha behaving badly are not created equal. nancy gibbs explained it to me. >> we did not want to lump together all different kinds of behavior that just have to do with powerful men behaving in different ways that people disapprove of. obviously since the news this week is of dominique strauss-kahn, that's the most extreme case, if those charges are true, he's not a womanizer, he's not a philanderer, he's a violent criminal, if that is true. so that's at one extreme. at the other extreme are cases that are more a matter of hypocrisy if it's, for instance, a politician that presents himself as a family values champion. in the case of newt gingrich, another one who's come up a lot
this week. someone who was pursuing the impeachment of a president for lying about his affair with an intern while ingrich was having an affair. we have a matrix that lies from stupid and hypocritical to actionable, potentially criminal. >> although it's just accusations, dominique strauss-kahn has been grouped with men like mike tyson who is convicted of rape. and, you know, for every cheater who loses their spouse like arnold schwarzenegger or tiger woods or jesse james, as a matter of fact, there are many others who manage to hang onto their significant others. but how can someone stick around after such an enormous betrayal? that's a subject of gayle haggard's book "why i stayed." gayle you may remember is married to pastor ted haggard who resigned from his megachurch in 2006 after a male escort claimed he had an encounter with him. the haggards stayed married and opened up a church just last year. gayle, thank you for joining us.
it's right there in the title of your book. tell us why you stayed. >> well, i stayed because i knew that my husband was so much more than the allegations that were being leveled against him and even his betrayal. and i wasn't willing to let this negative behavior that was going on in my husband total lly nega everything good we had built in our lives. i had to ask myself who i was going to be in this story and i was going to be a woman who fought for what i really do believe in. >> gayle, i know you have met maria shriver and really that's one reason you have decided to speak to us about this today. >> well, i think maria is a remarkable woman, and i met her a couple of years ago when i spoke at the california women's conference, and i have admired her for many years. she is a courageous woman, a gracious woman. she has a big heart, and i just want to speak out to say the complexities of these issues are
beyond the judgments of all of us sitting on our couches watching, and that we need to give her the benefit of the doubt and know that she's a smart woman. she's been smart all along. she has reasons for loving this man, and if she chooses to stay with him, we can respect that because she sees more than we see in this man. >> you know, can you broaden what you're saying to women or even men who may be watching and may have -- their spouses may have cheated or is cheating on them now? >> certainly. and my response is in "in i stayed" is not a one size fits all solution. but i think when you have a partner who has betrayed you, you have to look at the bigger picture, and i think our human behavior is so complex that we cannot just categorize and just see the person through the lens of their failings. i am a person who embraces my
christian faith. i understand the fact that people fail, that people are flawed, and i was willing to give my husband the benefit of the doubt that even though he had messed up and it was very painful and we had a process to walk through, that he was also the man that i had loved for at that time 28 years, now 33 years, and i knew that there was so much more to him that was worth fighting for. >> i have to ask you this, you mention your faith. was your husband's scandal doubly worse for you because of the circumstances and so how hard was it for you to reconcile that with your faith? >> well, it was difficult for me to reconcile what i was hearing with the man that i knew. but as i chose to go through the process of counseling and trying to understand the situation, i began to understand the why, the root problem, and in understanding that it helped me to forgive him and to get to the
other side, and i am so grateful that i stuck with it because i now have the marriage that i always longed for, and that is an open, honest, communication between the two of us where we really do trust each other and we feel safe with each other. >> gayle haggard, thank you so much for your candor. we appreciate you coming and being so brave to speak about this. thank you. >> thank you. do women behave badly like some men when they are in positions of power or are they built differently? i put that question and others to dr. drew right after the break. nother reminder of what i couldn't do. ♪ the accident could have been my excuse to quit. i made it my reason to go even harder. ♪ [ male announcer ] helping people achieve without limits. at the hartford it's what we do... and why we're the founding partner of the u.s. paralympic team. show your support at facebook.com/thehartford.
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if you really want to know what makes men tick and why the rich and powerful sometimes do stupid and damaging things, well, you won't find anyone better to ask than our very own dr. drew pinsky, host of "dr. drew" on our sister network hln. i talked to him about why monogamy is important. his insight was dead on. we hear the salacious details, should we be surprised by this behavior especially when it comes to arnold? >> i'm not sure we should be surprised but i don't think we should endorse it or look away. i think that's a huge mistake for several reasons. one is these people are our leaders. they set the cultural tone and what's normative for our kids. and to some extent we have to remember that and we have to hold leaders accountable to be
leaders. also behind the idea of sort of accepting men behaving badly, is some sort of cultural endorsement that men gain power and money in order to act like this, which is a sad, sad indictment on the male psyche if that's indeed the case. and then finally people go, oh, if they hadn't gotten caught, this would have gone on indefinitely. the same is true of any adverse behavior, any problematic behavior. when people come to a psychologist, a psychiatrist, to treatment for addiction, it's always because people in their life go enough of this. >> do you think women, i don't know if we can gauge this, would women act the same way if tables were turned, it women had the positions of power in our society or are we just built differently? >> we are definitely built differently biologically, it's just the way it is. but you're asking a question which is somewhat arguable, if indeed if we were a society run by women, where they had all the power, would they act like this? the probability is no. because their biological
motivational priorities are just different. they're not going to act like that. but again, men are happier when they don't act like this. they're healthier when they don't act like this. so again, it's something that everyone can go, okay, i understand that men would behave like this, but to allow them to do so, and to give them a pass, it's a big, big mistake. >> so if -- are we -- marriage and monogamy, is this something that is an invention of the church? are we trying to do something with our body that is our bodies weren't actually meant to do? >> yes and no. not only -- there's no doubt again, particularly for men, every measure of health and happiness is improved when we're in a sustained, monogamous relationship. it just is. so it's better for us overall. and this is an institution, that if there were not a lot of powerful forces in place that motivated us to stay in this through all these centuries, it
is not likely to have survived. it does a lot of good for us, as individuals and as someone to wants to be a part of a family system, so there's stuff beyond religious that we get out of being a head of a household. the single biggest issue is that we're living so long. so people have an urge to get married to escape their family of origin or to, whatever it might be, to reproduce in their 20s and they're going to live another 65 years. that's what's unnatural about this. and people have to be really prepared for that, that this is a lifetime partnership that they better be ready to make. and, boy, in the early 20s, the data suggests we shouldn't be making it then. >> that's a good point. we shouldn't be making it then. some marriages and some relationships sort of thrive on not being monogamous. >> again, i would argue, in my
experience, that those are not people that are very happy. yes, there are people that will say, oh, no we're having an open relationship and all this stuff. and it works for a while but those are people who don't know how to achieve genuine intimacy because real intimacy is diminished by outside flow, let's say you can of attention. >> but in some societies it's okay to have more than one wife, to have children by -- it's okay. this is america and this is our values about it. >> i understand and i'm not passing judge but from my experience having worked with couples that are happier and flourish more, real intimacy is a much healthier place for people to hang out, even if people have multiple wives. usually within that they at least have one that has a real intimacy. >> thank you, dr. drew. you have heard why men may chet on their spouses but is there anything you can do to prevent it? our resident human behavior expert dr. wendy walsh joins me again with some answers, next. i want to know.
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you say a woman needs to ask her man or potential mate several important questions. explain that to me. >> remember, not all men are born to be cheaters. there are plenty that are not. first of all, look at his history of relationships. does he have a bunch of angry exes? has he fooled around before? there's a good chance he will do it to you, too? how much guilt did he feel? you know men feel less guilt than women in general? >> can i say something here, if you have a pen and a piece of paper, start writing this stuff down. fair warning. continue. >> many people -- their behavior is shaped through how much guilt they feel. if you're watching your guy and he seems to not have any problem bending the rules at work, even if it might hurt a co-worker, well, it means he's not going to feeling a lot of compassion and empathy and guilt for you. you want him to take pieces of you into that mental compartment and not have an affair. how old is he? did you know that one study on guilt shows men feel the least
amount of guilt in their 40s and 50s making it easier for them to have an affair in that age group. >> because they feel entitled, i have lived a little. >> it's my turn, i didn't do it when i was young. i think the big one though is something dr. drew addressed, too, does he fear emotional intimacy. it's the bond that keeps people together, but for some men it's a way to water down the milk because they're so afraid of emotional intimacy they have a lot of physical relationships and not a lot of close emotional ones. my favorite one, what did he score on his s.a.t.s? what i mean is some studies have actually linked intelligence with monogamy, meaning that you're smart enough to make that intellectual decision to go above your animal instincts. >> okay. someone who is smart like the president, these people are pretty smart -- >> that rhodes scholar there. they're smart and then there's that other piece, narcissism, testosterone. plenty of people are born with a
gene for heart disease or obesity and they make lifestyle changes. >> can i ask you this, what about women? they're like, don, you're bashing men. what about women? >> let me say this, right now we're seeing such a rise of sexual freedom for women as women are rising in economic power, there's no reason anymore for them to withhold their sexuality in order to hopefully get a man to marry them and support them. women are stating to behave like men. i got a call from a successful man recently who is very rich and he said to me, all these women are literally following me home, they want to have sex with me, what do i do because i want to have a real relationship. and i told him keep it zipped. get to know a woman first. >> dr. wendy, you're always making me blush. i always say when i talk to you, i know i'm going to turn rust. >> you would pass the boyfriend test for sure. i'm going to send you a copy. >> yes. i'll leave it at that. thank you very much, dr. wendy. always a pleasure. you know, this is the image
of dominique strauss-kahn seen her in the u.s. but in france politicians are often viewed through a different lens. a report from paris is next. and lose their luster because washing in the bargain brand can leave dirt from the wash on your clothes causing your whites to get dingy. new improved tide plus bleach helps to remove the dirt in one wash to bring your whites back to bright. turning white-ish to...wow. tide plus bleach. style is an option. clean is not. also try tide stain release, the in-wash booster from tide.
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well, the arrest of dominique strauss-kahn was an eye opener for the people in france. seeing a potential presidential candidate paraded in front of the cameras appalled many people. as cnn's jim bittermann tells us, the french media are learning a lesson about how they cover their own politicians. >> reporter: what was it that franklin roosevelt always used to say, there's no indispensable man? well, for some french who saw him as the next president, dominique strauss-kahn was about as close as you could come. but put him in cuffs and in court and it wasn't 48 hours before they were writing him out of politics for good. wait a minute, go back there. you can't show a prisoner m handcuffs in france because the french believe it suggests guilt. who knew. but on the other hand the frempl press published the name of the alleged victim. that's against the rules in the
u.s. in fact the strauss-kahn affair has been a learning experience on both sides of the atlantic, but mostly here. for days, blase french journalists have been wondering how strauss-kahn made it up the social and political ladder without someone taking note of his alleged darker side. the relationship between politicians and journalists is a question raced even at the most edgy news magazine in french. >> the problem is probably there's fear in relation with power in france, and maybe the journalists corps is not as powerful as united as it is in the u.s. in matters like that. in france, the problem is the relation is much more blurred and that's a very big problem that we should very much improve in that manner. >> reporter: as the deputy editor himself points out, everybody knows some politicians here fool around. that was lost on no one, especially after former president mitterand's funeral
when a mistress and his daughter showed up next to his wife and legitimate children. but there are strict privacy laws to stop reporters from delving into simple dalliances. does that mean french women are more tolerant of extramarital behavior? a woman who's married to a political figure herself says yes and no. yes if you're talking about having an affair, and no if you're talking about the kind of thing that strauss-kahn is accused of. >> the relationship between men and women in france is more natural, more based on seduction, less obsessed with sin, and it's part of the charm of living here. but let's be clear, seduction is not sexual harassment, and of course it's not rape. rape is a crime and it's as much of a crime here in france as in the u.s. >> reporter: so as much as the strauss-kahn affair has
embarrassed and scandalized people, it's also provoked a debate the like of which over questions which have rarely been so openly disdiscuss cussediscu. >> so what causes men to behave badly? is it the adrenaline rush? some final thoughts with host of hln's "issues" jane velez-mitchell is next. selections t temptig from favorites to new creations for just $11.99 during the festival of shrimp. ending soon at red lobster. [ male announcer ] in 2011, at&t is at work, building up our wireless network all across america. we're adding new cell sites... increasing network capacity, and investing billions of dollars to improve your wireless network experience. from a single phone call to the most advanced data download, we're covering more people in more places than ever before
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i made the worst mistake of my life. i embarrassed my wife and violated her and my children and everybody that trusted me and myself. i did some things that were contrary to the things i believe and i made a mess of my life. >> that was ted haggard and you heard from his wife earlier. why do men behave badly? why do they cheat and shouldn't those who are married be afraid of getting caught? earlier i talked to the host of "issues" on hln, jane velez-mitchell. is there some element, jane, for these men of getting caught? is that what attracts some of them? i have got a kid, it's been ten years, i got away with it. i'm the man. is there some degree of it going on?
>> some of the bad boys like tiger have gone into rehab, the addictive cycle is to take very high-risk behavior because that supersizes the rush and the high. so when you're doing something bad and you're taking a risk at the same time, there is an adrenaline rush like no other. and from an addictive perspective, they may be subconsciously doing these very high-risk things, simply to get that rush. >> and what about, do some of them want to get caught? i know when you're an addict, maybe that's a cry for help when you go to the very bottom. is this a cry for help from some of these guys? >> well, i think you have to separate the conscious from the subconscious. consciously they're trying to keep everything quiet. but subconsciously they're doing things to self-sabotage because ultimately it's very, very stressful to carry around a
toxic secret. it is like carrying an albatross around you. so there's a part of you subconsciously that wants the release of letting the secret out. so on some subconscious level, they do things that will ultimately result in the secret getting out. because what is the one thing that all of this behavior has in common? a toxic secret that is eventually revealed to the public. you cannot keep big secrets about sexuality secret forever. it rarely happens. secrets do come out. >> and you know about it because you write about it in your book "addict nation." so you know firsthand about these things. here's my thing, what do we do from here with this information? because who's going to be the next person and salacious details are going to come out and we're going to be interested in that person. is there some sort of lesson for us in this? where do we go from here, jane? >> the lesson is that honesty is
always an option, even when you don't think it is. for example, arnold schwarzenegger, he had this secret child. at some point, at many points along the line, he had the opportunity to turn to maria and say, look, something happened that i'm very ashamed of, yet it's a situation, there's other human beings involve, an innocent boy, i have to level with you, i've got to tell you what's going on. she seems like a very understanding person. she came to his defense when he was running for governor and he was accused by more than a dozen women of inappropriate sexual behavior and fiercely defended him. you would think she would have a sympathetic ear, if anyone would. and yet, he missed those opportunities to be honest. and look what's happened. the scandal has exploded in his face and there's a lot of people who think it's just going to get worse. so i think that the lesson here is that honesty is always an option, even when you think it's not.
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