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tv   In the Arena  CNN  June 24, 2011 5:00pm-6:00pm PDT

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>> thanks, joe. sex trafficking is a global problem and cnn's indepth look continues as we focus on nep pal, actress demi moore joins the cnn hero of the year to take you inside the fight to end modern day slavery. sunday night at 8:00 eastern. piers morgan tonight starts right now. tonight, tatem o'neil and her incredible story, her marriage jo ton and her troubled relationship with her father. she's talking never before about ryan. >> your brother said that your father gave him enzymes when he was 11. did he do that to you? >> you'll have to ask him. >> why are you reluck tabt to answer that? >> because we have a show we're
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doing and i don't want to say incriminating things that are going to make it harder to kind of make peace. i know for sure my dad made a lot of mistakes. i'm sure that he's living with them today. >> this is piers morgan tonight. >> tatum, welcome. >> i want my $200. >> i want my $200 it's my money, you've got it, and i want it. >> you just hold on a second. >> i want my money. you took my $200. >> will you quiet down here? >> i want my $200. >> her life off screen has been tumultuous and her relationship with her father ryan.
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ryan and tatum and tatum joins me now. how are you? >> i'm well. >> we were almost born in the same year. when you were winning your oscar's, i was dreaming about winning oscar's. i feel like i grew up with your dad verb rating. >> great. i like to hear that. well, i've always thought that you were part of our family, so -- here we are. we look a little alike, too. >> tell me this, it's interesting, the show i watched a little bit last night. do you have an overwhelming sense of relief, both of you, do you think, that at least you've mentioned to get back to somewhere, even if it's not perfect yet? >> exactly. i think that the conversation has started and that's all i could have asked for because we had such trouble just having the
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conversation, just saying hello, just getting to, what's your day like and can you come over for father's day on sunday, which my dad asked me earlier today and i said yes. so it's just -- we get caught in the little things and i think having the cameras there almost because we are actors in a way made it more comfortable. >> how did you feel when he asked you over for father's day? >> i felt like i would be there for him because it's father's day and it's the day our show launches and it seemed like the right thing to do. >> have you watched it together yet? >> no. >> what are you expecting? >> when we watch it together or when i watch it altogether? i don't know. >> it's going to be at 10:00, so i thought i would be tired and i might want to go back home but if he wants me to, i will. i want to tweet during it and everything.
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so he doesn't know that what is and i don't get reception in malibu. >> everywhere you've been in terms of the media in the last 25 years, it's always, tell me about your dad. do you hate your dad, is your dad talking to you and so on? >> that's really true. and it's during my book tour a little bit it's been, so what does your dad think about the book? and what does your dad -- how did he get that temper? and at a certain point i sid, you know, i don't know. maybe you should ask him. but you'll get to. and you're probably not even asking about him. >> i think about with you -- when he pushed you -- not pushed you but encouraged you into the same business -- >> i would say push. >> he was theed a dult pushing you through the fame door, which
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you didn't need to go through. when you see that little girl in "paper moon," a role that changed your life -- >> right. >> when you see that. >> right. >> do you wish sometimes you had never been pushed into that world? >> i don't really think about that. i have the life that i have, the upbringing that i have, the experience that i have. so the idea of sort of the other alternative would have been to maybe stay with my mom and her direction was going very badly so i often think the best thing to do or the best decision that could have been made between the two would have been to be with him and i've had kind of an amazing life. it's been hard. it's had some very big downs and some great ups. but i don't think that i would take the girl next door, even though there are other families that i look at that i kind of admire. lately i've been thinking like the middletons. there seems to be a big
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closeness there and i often think, how lucky they are, the girls. >> that must be -- that must be painful to see any father-daughter relationship that you weren't able to enjoy. >> right. >> and it was complicated with your mother, too. >> right. >> not easy to look at people with who have, i presume you would have loved to have had. >> right. which seems like consistency, stability, normalcy, that stuff. >> you've always been his daughter so that would have brought with it a residual fame. >> exactly. i was his daughter when he did "love story" before i ever did "paper moon." my dad was in "love story". >> that was an amazing movie. >> beautiful film. >> when you watch your dad in "love story," he plays a general tale character, loving,
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ironically of course difficult relationship with his father in the movie and then they sort of come to terms right at the end. >> but you see, that is my dad. my dad has that kind of seductive, soft, sweet, gentle, loving side. so it's always so confusing when that side isn't always there and you're a little bit off balance because he has a temper side. so that's him and that's what we all love. so he isn't all that and he isn't all great, but neither are any of us. it's just -- it's complicated. >> what are the biggest misconceptions? >> about him? >> let's focus on you. >> you want to talk about me? >> yes. for people who don't know you. >> perhaps that i would imagine that people probably think that
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maybe i'm sort of a frivolous drugged drug addict who has it all and decided to throw my life away. that isn't the case obviously. i'm very sensitive and quirky and sometimes weird person who, you know, fell into some hard times and has -- have worked very hard to come back and to have the best life that i can have, raise kids and be a mom and worker among workers and make a living and do all of the things that and had i not had the big problems growing up. >> how much did the drugs play a part in the down side of your life? >> i would say 98%. yeah. it's been very, very -- it's had a very negative effect on me, in all areas, both in my physical body, my financial world, my relationship with my children. i mean, it kind of has really
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screwed up every kind of possibility. so, yeah, i would have passed that whole thing and been fine. let's take a short break and come back -- i want to talk about how you got into that in the first place. >> oh, okay. >> and how you got out. >> sure. >> so it lp end on a happy note. >> okay. good. a network of possibilitie. in here, the planned combination of at&t and t-mobile would deliver our next generation mobile broadband experience to 55 million more americans, many in small towns and rural communities, giving them a new choice. we'll deliver better service, with thousands of new cell sites... for greater access to all the things you want, whenever you want them. it's the at&t network... and what's possible in here is almost impossible to say. when someone changes lanes without warning? or when you're distracted? when you're falling asleep at the wheel?
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hit rock bottom. >> one of the times. not the only time. >> this is where you were arrested for buying crack cocaine. >> uh-huh. >> tell me the first time you ever took drugs. >> 11, you know, in los angeles. >> how did you get them? >> they were around. it was the '70s. it was around everywhere. it seemed to be around everywhere i went, funny enough. 12, 13. >> people's houses? >> people's houses. >> what was the drug? >> first pot, then quail luds, i
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think -- first alcohol, actually. and then, you know, just let on and on. >> your brother said that your father gave him drugs when i think he was 11. did he do that to you? >> you'll have to ask him. >> why do you answer like that? >> because we have a show we're doing and i don't want to say incriminating things that are going to make it harder to kind of make peace and have a healing. every time i kind of bring up the bad stuff, it just doesn't go towards making a healing and gets us to a better place. i know for sure my dad made a lot of mistakes. i'm sure that he's living with them today. >> to be that age -- i've got three sons, two are around that age. >> right. >> the idea of them taking drugs just sickens me. >> yes, it's disgusting. yes. imagine my kids, too, even at 25. i mean, it's criminal. >> it is. >> it is, yeah.
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and at the same time, he's my dad and for whatever reason, i decided that i was going to turn -- i was going to have something to do with him and after 25 years of not talking to him at all and probably ending up being a good thing. i grew into the woman that i'm sort of still growing into and trying to be. luckily he -- you know, it's never too late to forgive someone and it's never -- and it's okay to give people a second chance even if they are child molesters or -- i believe that. and it's my family, you know, and just because we're public, you know, it doesn't mean that there's -- i would always want to try to be forgiven, especially because my dad was willing to kind of have the conversation with cameras. you know, he was willing to do
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that. to me, that's a big deal. >> i totally agree. >> yeah. that means like i don't know any father that would say, yeah, let's turn on the cameras and talk about the past. it's not a fun place to look. even in great families. so i thought it was pretty brave of him. >> what was your worst moment involving drugs? >> obviously like you showed, the arrest. that was terrible. i've had terrible rock bottoms where w heroin where i thought i would definitely die and almost died. sadly, which i'm super grateful to be alive and to be well and to be sitting here. >> how did you get into heroin? >> through a friend, a person, after my divorce. >> do you still call him a friend? >> no. yeah. you know what, it's not the person. it's me. i chose to take it. he didn't like wrap me up and stick a gun to my head. it was my choice.
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so -- it's the -- the thing s. it's nobody's fault but yourself at the end of the day. i did it. i wish i hadn't done it really. but at the same time, i am who i am for the experiences that i've gone through, good, bad, and ugly. maybe i'm a nicer person, maybe i'm a more loving mother because i have seen the dark side like that, because i have gone to hell and back and i did almost die and i did shoot cocaine and i did lose my kids and i did get them back and i put all of our family through a lot of hell. and i feel like how lucky am i that i can sit here and be in a good place and be able to talk to you and be able to talk to my dad and have him get to know me now, not a junkie, not dead, and maybe he'll be proud of me, and maybe not, you know. maybe he won't love the tatum that i am today. but i hope so. and that's maybe what the show's going to be about. >> when you look at yourself
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now, what do you see and what do you think? >> i feel good about myself. i kind of like her. she's nice, she's friendly, she's outgoing, she's generous. she loves her kids and -- >> yesterday, for example. >> i'm kwir key. >> i never met you. i just read all of this stuff. >> sure. >> we bumped into each other by elevator here and i didn't recognize you and then when you said, i'm tatum, you're interviewing me tomorrow night, you're a normal attractive looking woman. how can this be the crazy tatum o'neal? >> thank you for saying that. a friend of mine said that. you don't look like that. people have a preconceived idea of what that looks like and i'm out here trying to dispel that idea that we are all -- we are all human beings and we are allowed to have a second chance and people shouldn't just presume just because you've done a drug that's illegal that you're a bad person.
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i've never -- i've never have gone out of my way really to hurt anybody. i have really gone out of my way to hurt myself. i'm really working on that today because that does have a residual effect on my friends, on my kids, on my career, obviously. >> do you think you're winning the battle? >> i know i'm winning the battle. >> how long have you been clean now? >> i have been sober for a year now. >> and are you proud of yourself? >> like beyond. and the fact of the matter is, it's a year but it's many years from the time that i was strung out and copping drugs in manhattan, years and years ago when i used to be a heroin addict. so how could i not be proud? >> you should be proud. >> i pray every day. i'm grateful. i'm so grateful that i got a second chance, that perhaps this journey that's been so difficult and so -- it's been so raw, you know. there hasn't been a lot of filter between me and the
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public, me and life, that this may help a young girl who is in a situation where she is using drugs and she feels ashamed and can't stop and maybe she'll go to get help or go to a meeting or say, you know, if tatum o'neal can actually talk about it and do it and turn her life around, maybe i can. >> you're right. >> when we come back, i want to talk to you about farrah fawcett. >> sure. extra fiber in your die. carol. fiber makes me sad. oh common. and how can you talk to me about fiber while you are eating a candy bar? you enjoy that. i am. [ male announcer ] fiber beyond recognition. fiber one.
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let's talk about farrah fawcett. >> first of all, it's really sad because he was a really kind of an ambitious, really ambitious up and coming congressman who wanted to be mayor. so the idea that he self-sabotaged this hugely speaks to a definite addiction. whether it's -- he knew it was an addiction or not, i don't know. it's a complete sabotage of everything. >> and do you recognize that kind of self-deinstruct? >> yeah. it's almost like he had to do
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it. even though he's married to one of the most beautiful women in the world, he had this couple pulgs speaks very highly -- >> in terms of addiction, would you compare it to heroin, you know it's bad for you and you can't stop. >> i don't send any pictures of myself naked, through twitter or otherwise and never have, so i don't know that. but i can imagine that the fact that he did that so recently after his marriage speaks to an incredible compulsion that no matter what happens, had he to do it kind of thing. because twitter is a social media. it is not private. >> what's the best way for any addict to try to deal with it once this has all been bled out like it has? >> there's so many different ways now. you can reach out and get help and go to detox. >> what did you find was the
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best way? >> for me a. 12-step program worked for me. >> did it save your life? >> i know it's saving my life a day at a time, for sure. lucky me for finding t and it's funny because i had gone to ten treatments and i'm not saying that treatment isn't a great place to detox and find some help, but at the end of the day, there's a way that you can save lives, you can save your own life and i think it would be better to be great to get some more women in there because i feel like women are not coming in as much as men into this program and not getting the help that they could -- >> how do you physically feel these days? >> amazing. >> do you miss drugs? >> not even -- not even a little bit. not even -- >> are you surprised about that? >> i'm grateful. i don't really think about it because it's like why should i think about something -- if it's not broke, don't fix it. i'm grateful that i don't need to change the way that i feel. i always felt so uncomfortable and so sad and not worthy of the world that i needed to kind of
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change to survive and today i don't feel that. i feel very content and comfortable, which i have never felt. that's obvious if you look at me over the last decade and see interviews and my first book came out, you can see that i'm a jum peaier girl, woman, i can't answer a question as well. i can't really look at you in the eye as well and i do think that -- it is what it is. i'm better. >> you had a middle -- in the middle of trying to recover, you got hit by a double whammy, one big one, farrah fawcett, who was a huge part of your life in many ways and also michael jackson, you actually dated for a while. >> well, he was my friend, you know, and we went on a date although he was like a child at 18 and i was a real child at 13. so if you think about those ages, at the end of his life and
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the stuff that he went through, that could seem questionable that i was 13 and he was 18. but first of all, i just think it was really sad that two great people died on the same day and that fair ra didn't get the sort of due she could have had. >> to get both these pieces of news must have been such a weird experience for you. >> we knew -- we knew that farrah was really sick and then i got updates that she was getting closer and getting closer. michael jackson was a terrible, terrible shock. >> i tell you what, let's come back and talk more about this. this is fascinating. [ female announcer ] the healing power of touch
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o'neal, before the break i asked you about the awful day for you,
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michael jackson and farrah fawcett died. >> that also ties into addiction. who knew that he was taking something that could kill him. that was obviously tragic. and farrah, because i sort of lost something that i never really had. i never knew her enough to take in the role -- >> you were 15 when her and your dad -- an awkward age. >> for me it was. >> did you feel a sense of adan donment. >> i felt a sense of adan donment. >> you did? >> oh, yeah. >> he was replacing you for -- >> he left me for sure. i didn't get mad at her, though. i was mad at him. >> did you ever get mad with her? >> no. no. because she was nice. she was a nice woman. and she -- it wasn't her fault. you know, it was my dad. it was that he made the choice. so i kind of -- i think there was a point -- first of all, i was 15 and she was the most beautiful woman in the world. i felt awkward most of the time.
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i was looking at her pictures and thinking, gosh, how am i going to compete -- how am i going to -- it was a little off putting and it was better off figuring out my own -- >> did you have any real relationship with her for a long time? >> just that one that i write about in my book when i went to talk to her and she knew she was sick in her apartment and got to kind of talk to her. i didn't. >> when you did finally talk to her when she knew she was dying -- >> yeah. >> what was it like to talk to this woman who had been such a pivotal figure in your life without really being one? was she sorry to you for what had happened? >> no. there was never an acknowledgement in a way in our family of kind of what really happened. there was a lot of sort of a -- kind of a movie star denial in a way that our life isn't real and
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our responsibilities don't really apply to us kind of thing. so. >> i wasn't looking for an apology. i wanted to pay my respects and show her that i was a woman and that i was doing well and not addicted to drugs and had three beautiful children and i was doing okay and she was supportive and asking me about myself and what was i doing. i felt a sense from her peers that she wanted to kind of be doing the things that i was doing and have the opportunity to be out and to be working and stuff and in a way i felt sad, beyond just sad for her sickness but sad that she -- you know, because she was always like a girl. she was never really like -- >> do you think she was the love of your dad's life? >>. >> well, i think so. at this point it seems like -- i wouldn't say no it wasn't.
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i don't know anymore. he's just had so many women and there were so many before her. i always say that she was the american one before he went through every great beauty in europe. >> the most uncomfortable story involving the three of you i thought was at farrah's funeral where not only does your father not recognize you -- >> right. >> -- but he also hits on you. is this true? >> if you know my dad, and you'll get to meet him, you'll sort of see that he is just always joking and stuff and i'm not saying this was a joke but we had not seen each other at this point in a good decade and i don't know how well he sees anymore and i'm not sure sure that he hears anymore either. so speak up in your interview. there was all this blond hair in my face and he sort of went, oh, my god, it's you, tatum, how are you?
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>> the word awkward could have been invented. >> we sort of laughed about it and there we are. it wasn't like this, eww, he's a lech. it wasn't like that. >> is he just incurable roman take? >> totally. >> he loves women. >> you're so right. that is totally it. does that excuse terrible parenting? no. but that's it. he's just -- that's his whole life and he doesn't understand anybody that isn't like that. because i'm not. i'm much more practical. >> curable romantic, man of many intentions, mr. mack kin row. after the break? >> sure. the network -- a network of possibilities. in here, the planned combination of at&t and t-mobile would deliver our next generation mobile broadband experience to 55 million more americans, many in small towns and rural communities, giving them a new choice. we'll deliver better service, with thousands of new cell sites... for greater access to all the things you want, whenever you want them. it's the at&t network...
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save on all your rides. now, that's progressive. call or click today. this is a fascinating read, this book. and a lot of it is, by definition, pretty miserable. >> not really all of it. >> amid all of this stuff, the ups and downs of your life and the bad stuff, there's been lots of great stuff. in the end, it's tatum o'neal, you were brought up in hollywood royalty. you've had a pretty crazy, fun life as well. tell me about the good stuff. >> first of all, it's funny that you would ask that. right now, honestly, the nicest,
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best time ever. and i think one of the funnest, if you will, or happiest or lightest was making our show and kind of doing that show because it was so weird and different because we also think, you know, we think very -- we don't think very highly of reality television. so the idea that we were going to put our story out there was like -- but at the same time, it was a different thing. it was real, more real. >> i read a survey that he was only second to clint eastwood in the male leads. >> the hottest dude in the planet. >> i mean, literally. >> i went to the stones concert, david bowie, i sat in the front row of the -- i mean, i went to the stones in the '70s. i mean, i had so much fun.
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zz top. we went everywhere. >> what was the moment, the most exciting thing that you ever did? >> i did some fun things with my ex-husband as well. we went to george harrison's estate and played -- harrison and my ex-husband played tennis and my kids got to go through the -- that was pretty amazing and nice. >> are you a tennis fan? >> yes. >> i would imagine john didn't like to lose to anybody? >> not anybody. not even pac-man. he was giving a lesson to ben that was grown. i think going around the world and meeting the people we've met and -- >> who was the most impressive person you've met? who left the biggest impression on you? >> so far, i honestly would have to say oprah, like i'm not kidding, in terms of just giving
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me the biggest life change or moment of -- for me, tatum, maybe different from my dad. i also was obsessed in the '70s with rod stewart and the faces. >> really? >> did you and rod ever -- >> never. >> you are his type. >> yeah. no. i swear to god, he didn't do anything to me. he didn't even try. >> really? >> i think i was -- >> listen, when i saw him with the faces, it was 1975 and that was when rob wood -- so he wouldn't have gone that far. okay, now, the when mick jag gur was carrying me out of a party. i was 11. there were a lot of exciting memories, great parties, interesting people. woody allen once i was sitting at a table with him and i was
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cutting my food and he goes, what are you doing? and i go, well, i'm cutting my food. he goes, no, no, no. don't ever do that again. i was like, okay. it was squeaking and i said, okay. and i never did that again on a plate. >> and now every time you hear a squeaking you think of woody allen? >> yes, okay, tatum, put that down. it's been like that a lot. there's so many of those experiences so -- >> your dad was so mesmerizing as a star. >> right. >> that you can't even imagine when you watched him that he was going to go on to be the great romantic lead for the next 20 years and he didn't really. why do you think it never really happened in the way it should have done? >> i'm not really sure. i have some suspicions but i'm not sure. >> what are your suspicions? >> i wouldn't tell you, because their my suspicions so i'm not going to say it on national television. >> really juicy.
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>> i think that people sometimes go down a wrong path and that path isn't the path that would bring you the kind of success that would be 20, 30, 40 years later and i think that that's okay and we need to forgive those people. >> would you be in a movie again? >> i think i would like to be working in a way that was just where i would be considered kind of thing. i think that's more -- than just being in any movie, i want to be able to just have the possibility. and i think i'm sort of getting back a little bit to that. >> have you gotten offers at the moment? >> i think people are wary. that's fine. >> are they right to be? would you employ yourself right now? >> i would totally employ myself. i'm a great talent. i mean, i am. i would in a second because i think there aren't enough people that are really talented.
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>> what's the best advice that oprah has given you? because she's so wise. >> well, she said to the oprah launch of own, she said, tatum, 2011 is going to be the best year that you'll ever have and i just think that there's a little truth to that. >> she gives people hope, oprah, i think. i interviewed sarah ferguson and she said the same thing. she had a real affinity to oprah. she couldn't quite explain, but i got it. >> i just think that she always says that there is r was something broken in her and that she was able to fix it in public herself without a man, without the things that women think that they can and i think that is the message, the message is, don't ever not get up. get up and believe and keep believing. because you can redo everything and that's sort of my hope for
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2011 and continuing on. it's just that i stay very busy, that i stay making money to support myself and and kind of having the life that i have always dreamed of. >> when you walk around, what reaction do you get from the public these days? >> i get a lot of women saying, we love you, tatum, because of the honesty, with the book and so much. but that is -- now i'm on twitter. are you on twitter? >> yes. are you not following me? >> i will be. gosh darn it, i will. >> what's your address? >> tatum under score oneal. >> we will meet in cyberspace. we can invite anthony weiner. >> please don't say that. no pictures, please. no. it's all looking up from here. that's all i can say. and thank goodness for that and i think that i'm somewhat of a miracle and i don't quite know how that happened. >> we're going to take a short break. do you think that you will live
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coming up at 9:00, ryan oneal responds. listen to what he says about tatum and farrah fawcett. >> what bothers me the most is that there was turmoil during my love affair, a lot of it caused by my family, my kids, all of them, but particularly tatum. and i just think if she had never met us, would she still be alive today? because nobody knows what causes cancer, do they really? and she didn't smoke and she didn't drink. she exercised every day. and she believed in her good health. and then we came along, the four of us. and gradually she got -- she got
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weaker. i don't know. >> do you really believe that? >> i think it's highly possible. >> that the stress of the whole thing? >> because i wasn't able to straighten out the mess that we were in and it had -- we sucked her in. >> that's a harsh thing to say. >> i'm sorry. maybe it isn't true. but it's possible. >> but it's harsh. for tatum to have to hear that, it's very harsh. >> sorry, tatum, but you probably know it, too. >> that's ryan o'neal with piers morgan coming up at 9:00. with new extra-strength bayer advanced aspirin. it has microparticles so it enters the bloodstream faster
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how would i feel if my father were to get sick or die, would i be okay? and i realized that i wouldn't be okay. so i knew i needed to make an effort. because what is your life without your family? what's your life without a father? >> that was a moment from your series on the oprah winfrey's own network. you've got a new book "found, a daughter's journey home" which, of course, it is. and part of this journey was having had these problems with a man with a temper, your dad, you then decided to marry john mcenroe. even as i say that i laugh. >> do you know how old i was? >> 22. >> so do you have the think i have the full idea of what i was doing in life -- >> this was a guy smashing rackets saying, you cannot be serious. >> very interesting man. very interesting, talented legend. i was taken. i'm super proud of our kids can
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and i'm a really big fan of john, actually. >> how do you get along these days? >> we get along as well as a divorced couple who had three grown kids. we're civil. >> do you talk regularly? >> no. do you talk to your ex-wife regularly? >> every day. >> well, we don't. >> really? >> no. but that's okay. >> how often do you talk, honestly? >> he got mad recently. so -- not very often. i don't remember the last time. my daughter just got her tonsils out so i texted him. >> six months ago? six years ago? >> maybe two. >> two years ago? >> yeah. he's not a fan of mine. he sees addiction as a moral deficiency in a person and therefore he i thinks that i really went out of my way to kind of ruin my life and drop my children and that is not the case at all.
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i have a lot of regret, obviously, for all of the choices that i've made and -- >> and whose decision was it to end the marriage? >> mine? how did he take that? >> not well. at the same time, maybe i t was too much for me, as howard stern said to me yesterday, maybe it was too much for me that i had had such a -- sort of volatile upbringing with my dad and had kind of got involved with a man who was maybe equally as volatile but very different, let's just make that real clear. very different. >> what's your love life these days? >> i don't have a love life. i'm happy like that. >> zero? >> zero. >> are you looking? >> no. i'm very driven to kind of make up for lost time and get my -- >> what kind of man do you think now you ought to be with? >> maybe a gentle, smart, loving person. not


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