tv The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Comedy Central October 26, 2011 1:00am-1:30am PDT
oh, man, she's smells so good. - oh, my god. s rrible, blake. central headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" w stewart. playing] welcome show."art. we have a great program for you walter isaacson will be o he is an newphy o a year from now and it will weigh half much as i now and it will cost 30% less. [ l the gu introduction really? [ laughter ] half tim t let's begin tonight with the republican party and another installment of intrier in "parade" the magazine -- there you go. [ laughter ] "parade" mag scene the maga scene most people mistake for coupons. [ laughter doesn't heook like he is undressing himself
doesn't it h looking in the mirror going, "yeah i'd (bleep) me." he get in 100%arackcate authentic. he explained what he meantth not worried about theent's birth certificate. it's fun to poke at him saying let's see your grades and birth certifmean, i kid around. one time we were executing this fella and, i called that infusion room before midnight and i said to th fella and i said why do i call it the death ruth is, you are getting thrown out of anyway i find out later fella was mentally disabled so you you know -- [ laughter ] so ah, -- [ laughter ] somebody just killed a duck. [ laughter ] or they truly enjoyed that joke. so pick perry was just having some fun. he is not thepublican candidate out there with a sense here is herman cain complaining
why he said he wanted an electrified fence across the mexican border. >> let me say it was a joke. some people don't think it w good joke. it's probably not a should make if you are andidate. apologize if you offended >> jon: you can catch more his comedy stylings on the nex tone deaf comedy jam. he apologizes for thene more sentence and then says this. >> i apologize for combine combination of a fence that might electified. i'm not walking away from that. [ laughter ] >> jon: he proposes poll sit same way a teenage guy hits a girl. we shouldt.kei'm just joking unless you think we should make out. [ laughter ] perry's birther embrac mexican fence bug zapper iattern is emerging. see if you can spot it. >> i had a mother come up to me. she me her little daughter vaccine, that inje from mental retardation thereafter.
>> this president has done more between israel and the united states than any president inur rid of thendment, the irs. >> people on social security a ponzi sch >> corporations people, my friend. >> if you want to put people jail start with barney frank and chris dodd. >>ly build a double-walled fence. [ laughter ] >> jon: did you spot the trend amongst the republicans? i'll give you a hint: they are all saying crazy thter ] you may say to your sferblg by, jon anything they say that isn't directly transcribed from the tattooed taint from che guevarra wouldn'ty you you left coast jewish-ish avowed reader of people's that's fair. the republican establishment must be worried even a george their
effect luckett you'll equivalent. >> those people in the republican primary got to lay off this stuff. on: did not see that coming. [ laughter ] at gay p hurricanes republican party has gotten? >> they are forcing their leaders, the front runners into positions that will mean they lose the general el >> jon: pat, liberals are adown nazis robertson believes 9 republicans are staking out a be unappealingly extreme? this guy? >> if we take standards away in homosexuality what about the others? what about bestiality and ultimately what about the child molestation and pedophilia? >> jon: that guy. that guy whose mind sees gay marriage, bestiality and pedophilia and draws an equal sign between them. that guy, pat the 2010 haitianak
ea a deal haitians evil#gñ to gain their independence from france robertson. that guy. did he say that, by the way. listen to this. >> they got together and swore a pact to the devil. they said, we will you'll get us free from the prince. >> jon yeah, true story. a friend of my cousin me it was haiti and the devil and the was like all right but in return i'll (bleep) your country up real bad and they were like okay, whatev pat robertson,ric he has heard from running for the president of united states >> kwanzaa is a fraud. halloween is satan's night. the night for the devil. islamic people are going to airports. homosexuals want to destroy the church and marrdy really weird. his sexual is he to have sex with ducks. is he protected under hate crime? >> jon: first of all.
it's called a tu, (bleep). [ laughter ]cond of all. sex with the duck is consensual, then i would say yes, he is pat robertson, the guy who said all ogs we showed you is telli tone itld be like facebook saying to you, tmi. [ laughter ] that's i lingo for too much information. [ laughter ] anyway. the question becomes why? why is pat robertson,sk!zaka, that crazy (bleep) guy,ublican presidential candidates to mode their rhetoric. >> i believe it was lyndon johnson that said don't these if they extreme position i'll lose the election. they'll make i can't win. they have to stop this. it's counter productive. >> jon: not that the things you are saying are wrong or policy or callus or crazy but that you're right, but let's
keep it our little secret. [ laughter ] is telling the g.o.p. field is this: if you tell people what we honestly believe, an electoral mority of of those people will freak the (bleep) out. he is saying the firstf right clu talk about club. by the way -- [cheers and applause] -- i want to clear -- [cheers and applause] the second rule right club, the consents. [ laughter ] back. [ laughter ]>> welcome back.
but our innocent children have fresh eyes an perspective,we have to do to them us look jerkoffs. [ laughter ] the par zuccoti park lweekend. [inaudible] well sweetheart trtact now move away from ]en go outside? the real pros fildren is where they live, >> the retouration must begin our youth is why we created theiberty my dvr to explode! [ thankfully that sc your only option for conservative endoctrination, there's mike huckabee's time travel academy when kid back to a time when anima was crafty. no.>> well anreligious gr to force its agenda on toda. time machine and you set to give us the head but when it to using toveo the kids
that it doesn't matter if vampire they are all part multicult fes just last weet c fun-loving little girl who has ideaout food. >> w blaustein wheth have a next meal >> that segment by the g, as in jesus christ, what wasted my to sit olded laundry now i have to explainn! snrks. if aoorth sage is your rid guy. (bleep). [ laughter ] jon? >> lewis black we'll abou
>> jon:back. my tonight the c.e.o. ofite as a best his new "steve please welcome back to the program walter isaacson. [cheers and applause] thank you. back here. jon: t "steve jobs" how difficult is it? you are writing a biography for is ill -- >> yes. >> jon: andould like this to be on the record do you remine objective?eallys hoping when i last talked to him a so before hesaid i'll read it in a year so. he said i don't want comes out because it will annoy me. he has a thinking. oh greall bite off. you k i got emotionally, more than you normally do as a journalist
involved in this. >> jon: you talk about the book and people interviewed about his reality distortion. >> totally. >> jon: that he creates this of you can -- he convinces himself and other people they they did think were he basically tellso. can code this in days, not fourit the reality is in the old days of apple doing the first mac.de thing wozniak and others say he ended upping be right. people to things simply by making them believe they could do the >> jon: a realing in the book steve jobs cries. >> he is awesomelys the biggest surprise to >> jon: he is a weep >> i was with him once and he was tellingow if you rem think different ads, here is the crazy ones, the people who the world and the people who are crazy enough to t. >> jon: was an ad with a gentleman who was a pc and was a pc was a terribly unlikable fellow. good ad. >> he is reading me that script. i looked up and he is cryd excuse me butust get emotional.
th i'm i husbands of artistic purity. he connects emotion to technology. this is why the outpouring of grief at his death was beyond what most would have that -- in the book you get the sense at times from some of the people that the crying of a manipulation. that is the -- part of what did was he had the zen stare he would use on people or the get weren't if he was tryingulate. >> the zen stare withoutlinking. that was the emotionalism came if a deep for artistic thingsism never felt it was manipulate tism maybe i'm wrong. >> jon: the reality distortion. that's right. of. [ laughter ] >> jon: really strikes yat so many events had to come together for this to all work out. so many different influences. i wonder did ever deconstruct it and think if this hasn't have and he
hadn't imbursed himself in buddhism andt wozniak wouldmazing the coincidences ncluding t big conflewence which is his and the soul of apple which is theer culture, y know alternative hippy-still and earl then the elecontric geeky business let's do silicon valley stuff all together in steve that is the arc of the ow mantism gets ike his he never found him and of his sister mona simpson he tracks down the birth father and finds ou syria and studied in wisconsin by he moved toia and ran a restaurant and steve had been in the restaurant. i don't know there's a certain buddhist or coincidence. >> jon: even adopted father sek cantic but -- mechanic but someby learned toll bargain prices on. pragmatic practical guy. brought that wozniak it work as atical and pragmatic
o he is creates amazing circuit board 1. he is hs for for free. and steve is steve jobs is saying, wait a we can make it and sell it. they did itsomething calledhich allowed peoplemakeonecalls byating the tones. arket it. that conflewence too, of the business. >> jon: there's great about gates and jobs and all the apple people say we hated gates. he have nthe microsofteople said jobs were all right at some was was these -- the a star system where stars are digital agelege dropouts born in 19 gates. unbelievably differe is miss comes from counter bill gates is smart process to him and makes a great business m make artistic products n. end he makes the zune a the ipod. [ laughter the eulogy ive ever heard.