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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  April 12, 2012 11:00pm-11:30pm PDT

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piece of paper. but really want to take you up on the offer. sorry i called so much. if you gave me your phone number and i haven't called it's because we had sex while i was there and i've moved on. goodnight. >> oh, oh, oh, >> april 12th, 2012. from comedy central's world news head quarters in new york this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. the show tonight, what a show, grammy award winner esperanza spalding and her 12 piece orchestra, what she does, she's incredible. it's not even-- she doesn't
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even make music, she makes magic. she makes-- she makes mugic. that doesn't sound right but she does. we're going to get right to it yesterday, all consuming media gasm, zimdecision 20126789 after the tragic shooting of trayvon martin and the lack of anybody getting in trouble for it, the protest and outrage culminated in a scheduled 6:00 p.m. florida special prosecutor press conference. where we would finally learn the fate of george zimmerman. >> good evening, everyone. >> jon: good evening. >> i'm angela corey, the special prosecutor for the trayvon martin case. >> jon: hello, angela. my name is jon. this sour audience, audience, angela, angela-- audience. >> i want to introduce to you persony del yoranda one
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of my top homicide prosecutors and john guide, my other top homicide prosecutor. (laughter) >> jon: hellon -- hello bernie, john, john, audience, audience, bernie, john can. we just get to the [bleep] charges? >> despite all that is on their plate already, handling all of the homicides in the fourth judicial circuit, supervising the other young lawyers who also handle homicides, they willingly took this case on. >> jon: yes, yes, yes, florida is a lawless netherland, you're ass-deep in murder victims. are you go toing charge this guy or what? >> unless you have ever been a law enforcement officer or a prosecutor handling a difficult homicide case, you cannot know what it's like to launch this type of investigation and come to the right conclusion j&j. >> jon: we cannot know.
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you don't think we can know? we're american. all we watch is [bleep] law shows, six to 10 hours a day, law & order, csi, nci, order, suv, there's like four shows where psychic solve crimes. we've got a pretty good idea how this works. get to the charges. >> today we filed an information charging george zimmerman with murder in the second degree. will have a right to appear in front of a magistrate in seminole county within 24 hours of his arrest. >> jon: where he can plead guilty, not guilty or according to florida law, shoot the magistrate. (laughter) okay. so finally after hopefully doing his due diligence the state has found it has it is in its interest to charge mr. zimmerman with second-degree murder, reactions. >> we just wanted an arrest. and we got it. and i say thank you. >> we to you have a process in place. it's a very good process. best nft world. and it works pretty well. we have to let it work. we have to understand and
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have faith in the justice system. >> jon: i'm sorry, i should have been more specific, not the calm, rational heartfelt reactions of the people directly involved in the case like the martin family, when they timely gain a measure of peace or george zimmerman's lawyer, i mean the reactions of the people who really matter, the media. >> the state of florida versus george zimmerman. count one. >> well, there's certainly a lot of anticipation especially by the media. >> many legal experts are saying that they overcharged him. >> this story became without a doubt inarguably the most important thing you need to be up on in order to understand what is going on in our country right now. >> he vincing a depraved mind. >> could this be the trial of the decade? >> i do think there will be a not guilty verdict in don't know. after tot mom, frankly, the place is up for grabs. (laughter) >> jon: and let me tell you this, i know in my heart that the 2006 duke lacrosse team is involved in this somehow.
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i don't know how. but i'm going to find out. so media hungry. which meal will they be served. will this trial be the classic cameras in the courtroom coverage like oj where the grizzly death of two people somehow ends up as the dancing-- on jay leno or the no cameras in the courtroom 340d el where journalists desperate to report the outcome milli secretaries before their arrival use the ancient yet remarkably accurate art of sella phore use the-- to delay -- >> count one, count two-- on count four, she is-- that is-- guilty, michael. >> i'm sorry, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty. >> not guilty on the count of making false statements. not guilty on making and using false documents. >> false statements -- >> all right, michael, thank you so much. i will get you to hold on.
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because victoria --. >> ron, ron, ron, ron. >> yes. >> i apologise but you have to understand, it is absolutely t is chaotic out here. >> jon: i mean we could have just waited for someone to walk over with the list but, no. that would have taken a second. we should have gone with my original suggestion, verdict bears. (laughter) so what kind of spectacle will we be dealing with here? >> florida has what is known as the sunshine law. cameras are virtually always in the courtroom so this trial will be a trial on television. >> jon: so dancing eots it is. we're joined by john oliver for more. (cheers and applause) so basically here we go again. >> that's right, jon. two months from now, three months from now when this trial really gets going it will be a circus. the media will descend like
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locust, a light on all that passes over. >> jon: they arraigned zimman today, there is all kinds of dferb --. >> wait, whoa, whoa, is that true. >> jon: yeah, they arraigned him -- >> because there are things happening on camera down there now. >> jon: absolutely, no the cameras in florida, just today there was the arraignment that they did. and then obviously there is going-- john? john? john oliver. i -- >> good evening, jon, this is john oliver. reporting. (applause) john, i'm reporting live outside the seminole county courthouse in florida. >> jon: how-- you're there already. >> of course i'm [bleep] here already, jon. if this is going to be a real media [bleep] storm you need me reporting right from the middle of it, up to my waste in judicial excrement. i'm going to be front row center, jon, right in the
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seat. >> jon: you don't have to stake the courthouse out. >> right, right, should i come back to new york and cede my court front property to tubing or even wired for that matter, no way-- wyatt, when did you get down there. >> i left as soon as i saw oliver fly outdoor. when the stampede starts you're either part of the herd or you get trampled under foot. this going to be the trial of the millennium. >> he's right. people are already calling it the trial of the mill enyum. >> jon: who's calling it that way. >> wyatt cinac just did. >> yup, i did. >> good job. >> jon: we need not be vul turs. one of the big issues was rush to judgement. let's let the story play out. let's let the facts speak for themselves. >> exactly. >> jon: what is? >> tonight is the media rushing to judgement on what many are calling 9 trial of the millennium. or should they as some say just let the facts speak for themselves. join former prosecutor
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samantha bee as she brings you 24 hour coverage of the media oversaturation on presumed guilt-i-- starting right now. >> jon: sam, you can't start your show in the middle of my show. it doesn't -- >> oh, right, your show. cut his mike. >> jon: no, look, i need you guys back up here there is election coverage. i can't spare three of my corespondents. >> oh, okay, three? >> jon: who else is down there guys. >> what's up. >> jon: al what are you doing down there. >> hey, jon, i'm waiting for some breaking news from inside the courthouse about how long they going to allow to us stand out here with bright lights. here it comes now. >> jon: what? (laughter) >> we can be here until circle circle wave. >> eight, eight, we can stay
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until eight, just use that-- [bleep] i gave you. >> i'm so sorry, jon. it's just chaos down here. >> this is asif mandvi reporting, now back to the studio. >> jon: asif. >> hey, jon. (cheers and applause) >> jon: what are you doing. guy, i'm not paying six of you down there reporting the same story. >> i'm not with you guys. i'm with hln, animal planet, life-- going to book two more but they don't make hexagons. they make journalist career, jon, you can read all about it in my future best-seller missions impossible, the asif mandvi story. >> jon: that's it everybody get back it up to new york right now. that's the end. we'll be right back.
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♪ [swing music plays] ♪ [swing music plays]
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>> jon: welcome back. dem -- certainly october see. you condition spell it without almost spelling crazy. and lately it's busting out all over. most recently egypt, their upcoming election is the subject of our new segment. we probably should have looked that up but we're a little lazy. wick pedestriania, something.
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egypt is now six wokes away from its next presidential election. of course the winner of the previous five is not running this year due to the technicality of having been kicked out of the country by his own people. one of the affects of the arab spring as we were promised for so long. democracy is finally flowering in that part of the world. for america funny steer, one little issue. >> as egypt's election campaign gathers space, we're seeing the rise of candidates from islamic partiment one more radical than the next. >> jon: see we want democracy to flourish over there as long tas is the kind we get to choose, you know, the good kind. the kind where they choose people that like us. we want democracy to flower. and the fruit of it not to give us diarrhea. among the more radical candidates to for office. hazamabul, an islamic fundamentalist so extrom he is actually to the right of 9 muslim brotherhood, who once said of osama bin laden
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said quote i hope god will believe him among believer, mar test and right oust, although to be fair bin laden did ask him for a linked in testimonial. what are you going to do not write one. god, he is extremist, he's not an [bleep]. there is a silver lining though, he may wind up being disqualified from the egyptian election for a kind of peculiar reason. >> protestors in egypt are unhappy that a leading presidential contender may be disqualified. egypt's election commission has revealed that the mother of lawyer turned preacher ismale san american citizen. >> jon: oh, how awesome is that? the guy who is a radical who hates america is getting tripped up by an egyptian birther controversy. first let mow say this, kodd owes, egypt tox have this little of crazy [bleep] affecting your very first real election. its-- some democracies grow
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up so fast. and second, and here is the one i really love about this, in this birther controversy, we, america, are kenya. that is how toxic we are in the middle east. the crazy foreign place full of dangerous ideas that is rendering a guy unfit to hold office because his mother is allegedly from that place, is america. (laughter) actually, santa monica, california, that is where his mom is from. i can see the attack ads now. >> hazim ismale says he oppose the american imperialist infidel with all his heart. but how can he when his mother is one of them. he says he is a muslim but did he secretly attend a catholic school? how do we know? he doesn't pal around with known terrorists. can we trust a man with ties to santa monica, california? a place so radical a man can
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share an apartment there with not one but two unmarried women. when it comes to the man who rules egypt with an iron fist for its next 60 year, we just can't risk it. paid for by egyptians for truth. >> jon: we'll be right back. (sfx: car garage sounds) today my journey brings me to charlotte, north carolina,
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where i spent the day with geico driver casey mears. i told him the secret to saving money on car insurance. he told me the secret to his car setup. first he adjusts... first he adjusts... (sfx:engine revving drowns out gecko's dialogue) then he... then he... (sfx:loud drilling noise continues to drown out gecko's dialogue) ...and a quarter cup of pineapple juice. or was that the secret to his barbecue sauce? hey, "secret" sauce. geico®. fifteen minutes could save you
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fifteen percent or more on car insurance.
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>> jon: welcome back, my guest a grammy wing mudician, her new album is called radio music society. performing black gold from that, please welcome esperanza spalding. (cheers and applause) ♪ ♪ hold your head as high as you can ♪ ♪ high enough to see who you are little man snoed snoed life is sometimes in cold and cruel ♪ baby no one else will tell you so remember that ♪ ♪ are you black gold, black gold ♪ ♪ you are black gold ♪ now maybe no one else has ever told you so ♪ ♪ but you're golden baby
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♪ black gold with a diamond soul ♪ ♪ think of all the strength you have in you ♪ ♪ from the blood you carry within you ♪ ♪ ancient men powerful men ♪ builders of civilization ♪ they will be folks hell-bent ♪ ♪ on putting you down ♪ don't get burned ♪ cause not necessarily everybody will know your worth ♪ ♪ know your worth ♪ know your worth ♪ think of all the strength you have in you ♪ ♪ from the blood you carry
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within you ♪ ♪ an meant men powerful men ♪ ♪ builders of sgliflization ♪ hold your head as high as you can ♪ ♪ high enough to see you who little man ♪ ♪ life sometimes is cold and cruel ♪ ♪ baby no one else will tell so you remember that ♪ ♪ are you black gold black gold ♪ ♪ you are black gold ♪ think of all the-- from
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the blood within you ♪ ♪ ancient men powerful men. >> the builders of civilization sfloet ♪ no, no, no ♪ ♪ put your head as high as you can ♪ ♪ life sometimes is cold and cruel ♪ ♪ you are black gold ♪ black gold ♪ you are black gold ♪ are you black gold ♪ you are black gold ♪ hold your head as high as you can ♪ ♪ high enough to see who are you ♪ ♪ little man ♪ life sometimes is cold and cruel ♪ ♪ are you black gold
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♪ are you black gold ♪ black gold ♪ you are ♪ are you ♪ you are ♪ black gold ♪
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(cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome back. i'm here with the great esperanza spalding. thank you so much. >> thank you so much. >> jon: that was just the most beautiful sound and, what is your band's name, do you have a name for the band. >> yes, we're radio music society. and we accept members. we just happen to be the
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only members here tonight, unless any of are you interested. >> jon: in joining radio music society. >> yeah. >> jon: what is the barrier to entry, do you need to have any kind of ability or -- >> you have to have the ability to be willing to turn on the radio and open yourself to what comes out. >> jon: i am so totally in your society now. >> okay. >> jon: that would be great. you are remarkable. did you always play, we talked about i play the airbase. >> uh-huh. >> jon: a little bit am but i most play it up here. >> yes. and that distinguish was class of bass player are you. >> jon: is that true. what are the classes. >> so this is ponk. that's ponk. this is jazz, that is where i have my bass. >> jon: that's nice. >> and this is fusion. >> jon: i see. and then the way i play it is more like guy who has never played bass. >> yeah. >> jon: well, you guys are remarkable. i can't thank you enough. this sound is so beautiful. >> thank you. >> jon: i don't know how they got that much talent. i feel like you should be twice as large as you