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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  April 30, 2012 11:00pm-11:30pm PDT

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>> oh, it's starting. >> this is going to be badass! >> yeah, yeah, yeah! [trumpet fanfare] ♪ [audience groans] >> what's going on? >> folks, please don't panic, but we've received a bomb threat. we ask that you remain calm and exit the theater in an orderly fashion. >> bomb threat? >> no. >> bomb threat? >> oh, shit. >> god damn it, frank. >> he thunder-gunned all of us. >> he thunder-gunned the shit out of us. >> frank? >> frank. >> april 30, 2012. from colt this is the daily show with jon stewart. >> jon: welcome to the the daily show. my name is is jon stewart.
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let me tell you about our guest. we're very excited about this. zach wahls, author of the book "my two moms." it is an ode to his two moms and how they raised him. it's going to make what you got your for mom on mother's day really just... look, flowers. well, zach wahls, he wrote his moms a book. take your flowers and go (beep) yourself. ( cheers and applause ) listen. good to be here. it's good you're cheering tonight because we begin tonight talking about the young people. generation-x. what's that? they're up to 40 now. oh, my god. how old am i? what? that is outrageous. i can't even hear you. they say young people are in play this election year. it won't be enough for
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presidential candidates to make a couple token mtv appearances and pretend they have j-z on their walkman. is that... what? what do you mean people don't listen to the walkman anymore. all right. these candidates will have to do real heavy duty pandering like on the subject of student loans. >> 7.4 million undergrads from moderate income families currently rely on student loans subsidized by the federal government. >> federal student loan rates right now are at 3.4%. if congress doesn't act, it will rise to 6.8%. >> stopping this from happening should be a no-brainer >> jon: so, you're going to have biden do it. a no-brainer. boom, boom. ( cheers and applause ) actually he's a very accomplished senator. i apologize sincerely for saying that. of course these types of entitlements are anathema to
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the republican party. let's see how that will be handled by their nominee or should i say romney. trademark. >> i fully support the effort to extend the low-interest rate on student loans. >> jon: ooohhh. look who is not running in a conservative primary anymore. of course, he's still romney, the candidate with a uncommon man's touch. >> we've always encouraged young people, take a shot. go for it. take a risk. get the education. borrow money if you have. from your parents. >> jon: now, now, now, of course i realize not everyone's parents have money. readily accessible. some of your parents probably have money in off shore trusts or restricted stock. in that case, you might want to auction off some of your parents' art work. all right. so obama and romney agree, but the power for this resides in the legislative branch.
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i'm sure the real obstacle here is house speaker john boehner. >> nobody wants to see student loan interest rates go up. >> jon: oh, my god. everybody agrees. the planets are aligning. this is the dawning of the age of aquarius. we're going to get a bill to keep interest rates on student loans, to keep those rates from doubling. >> the obama administration is threatening to veto a bill designed to keep interest rates on student loans from doubling. >> jon: (beep) happened? we were all friends. we agreed. we were songing songs from "hair." what's the problem? >> the issue is really how they do it. >> jon: i keep forgetting we have to pay for this crap. >> republican are proposing what they call eliminating a slush fund that was created by obama care. >> jon: who would be against
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eliminating a slush fund? slush is a terrible thing. i'm from new york. i know slush. it's like a rain water and dog urien slumpy. what's in this slush fund? >> democrats are hitting at them saying you're going to be targeting, in part, things for women's health, testing like mammograms and that kind of thing. >> jon: oh, so this is more of a mammogram/pap smear slurpy. you know, that is 7/11's second least popular slurpy flavor behind blue. all right, democrats, how are you going to pay for it? >> democrats are proposing a different way to pay for it. they want to do what they call eliminating a corporate tax loophole. >> there are lots of loopholes we could close. my colleagues have mentioned big oil and big gas. we could close those loopholes. >> we have got proposals from
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the other side of the aisle, from our friends in the senate, that want to tax small businesses. the job creators, at a very time in our economy is is in such trouble. >> jon: we certainly don't want to punish the most successful amongst us. mmmm: how about the most armed amongst us. >> if this is not something to play games with, this is not something to stand up and say, hey, i'm a cost-cutter. >> jon: we can't touch our already streamlined defense budget. it might affect our flying hollow gram laser tank program. by the way, here's how old people are in florida. that guy is named mr. young. you know what? ( applause ) this is good. but this is good. this is good that we now know the parameters of the conversation that our country
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needs to start having. everyone is saying if we want government to help people, we have to pay for it. everyone is agreeing on that. democrats think closing loopholes and raising mafer ginal tax rates on the wealthy could discover any increases in discretionary spending. republicans believe that any increase should come at the cost of other discretionary social spending. it's an interesting fundamental debate, one that we would be well served to have. now if you will, let's watch the debate we're actually having. >> they come up with a pay for it that is a disgraceful, grotesque pay-for that goes after women and children in the name of protecting student loans. >> you're yelling fire. there's no fire. >> but they really see now is an opportunity to attack women's health. >> accuse us of wanting to gut women's health is absolutely not true. >> there was a level of hypocrisy on this floor that is staggering. >> it makes me so angry.
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i'm so angry, i could spit. >> jon: and the people who work with him say, you are actually. watching this debate i think spit would be the most substantive thing to come out of this debate. it was lame but there was one kind of great moment. when a congressman from minnesota was so vehemently defending the republicans' excellent treatment of women by... watch. >> what we're talking about is using a slush fund that is provided to the secretary to spend as she sees fit. that is perceived as an attack somehow on women. what a surprise. in this election year. another 30 seconds please. there are adequate... there are multiple.... >> jon: we have a great record on women. i need 30 more seconds. shut your (beep) trap. shut your mouth. we're going to keep going. there's no war on women here. how it feels to chew 5 gum.
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peppermint that cools as you chew. 5 gum. stimulate your senses
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( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. if there's anything more awkward than sex it's the way anybody else has sex bringing us to our latest installment of "gaywatch." first stop the white house where the president seems intent on squandering the good will gained on don't ask don't tell. >> president obama is under fire for refusing to sign a federal order. >> jon: oh, snap. obama, you just got the white house glitter bomb. on a white surface, that is never coming off. what's obama's excuse for this? >> the president is dedicated
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to securing equal rights for all l.g.b.t. americans. our hope is these efforts will report in a passage of the employment non-discrimination act which is a legislative solution to l.g.b.t. employment discrimination. >> jon: you just need to get that pass through the congress. you prefer a legislative solution. not a big fan of waiting around for a dysfunctional congress to do its job. >> we can't wait for an increasingly dysfunctional congress to do its job. >> jon: told you, carney. you know what happened? you probably didn't hear him say it. you probably just read what it said and thought, oh, we can't wait for a congress to do its job. >> where they won't act, i will. i've told my administration to keep looking every single day for actions we can take without congress.
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>> jon: i found one. how about you sign the executive order that would protect gay people in the workplace. >> the approach we're taking at this time is to try to build support for passage of this legislation. a comprehensive approach to legislate on the issue of non-discrimination. >> jon: i get it. go (beep) yourselves. guess what. the state... there's gay rights legislation pending in north carolina. >> residents will say yeah or nay on a constitutional amendment that would define marriage as being between a man and a woman. >> although already illegal in the state gay marriage if passed would make it illegal in the constitution. >> jon: i did not realize how weak straight marriage was in north carolina. maybe i did. maybe i did. but i don't know how.... ( applause )
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... i don't know how this new amendment changes that. it's like wearing suspenders and a belt and sewing up your zipper to make sure no one blows you. while gays have been let down by politicians... you like that? yeah, yeah. yeah. while gays have been let down by politicians on both sides of the aisle perhaps the biggest battle ground is the aisle itself particularly the candy aisle. >> mike and ike are splitting up over creative differences. the story goes they can't agree on their ideas for the candy. mike wants to pursue music and ike wants to be an artist. >> jon: why is this in the gaywatch segment and not the childhood diabetes watch? i'm being told i'm about to find out. >> the duo is staging a gay divorce as part of a new ad campaign to draw in younger customers.
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>> jon: how did... what are you talking about? nothing in the mike and ike ad campaign says anything about mike and ike being gay. unless you're confused by the part of the box that says original fruit but that is not what they're talking about. sometimes couples break up, having nothing to do with gayness or not gayness or not... they're not even married. i think this is your problem. you know what, family research council spokesperson tony perkins i feel like you're just seeing what you want to see. we need to talk from your perspective. meet me from camera three. i want to see what you see. you know, look, let me... will you guys shut up? i'm talking to somebody. look. mr. perkins, what?
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i'm just... ( cheers and applause ) ... i'm just saying... oh, i have such a headache. look, when a patient fixates on a certain perceived reality, usually it speaks to a deep seated fear of what lies within themselves. you see what you want to see regardless, whether or not it's there. it's the voice of the untrammeled id. bubbling up and erupting all over itself and others.
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( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight, after addressing the iowa house judiciary committee last year in opposition to a proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage in iowa, the video of his speech went viral. his new book is out called my two moms. please welcome to the program zach wahls. sir, what's up, man. ( cheers and applause ) sit down. that is outrageous, sir. how dare you? >> what can i say? >> jon: how are you? >> i'm doing all right.
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>> jon: how old are you? >> i'm 20. >> jon: can i tell you something? this book, my two moms, i want to say to you this. i want you and your two moms to raise my kids. would that be okay? this is such a wonderful depiction of character. you took the boy scout.... >> scout law which is the 12 tenets. trust worthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty brave, clean and reverent. >> jon: you forgot dopey and sleepy and blitzen. and you broke it down. you talk about how your moms instilled those values into you. >> that's right. >> jon: as a youngster. >> yeah. i mean each chapter is an examination of the value i learned in the boy scouts, how
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my moms taught it to me. what it means to me. more generally what it means to this whole debate. a chapter like loyalty especially in terms of this debate when my mom terry was diagnosed with m.s., jackie my short mom.... >> jon: hold on a second, i'm wait to go see if that's how my kids describe me. i've just seen a book that they're writing called my short parent. >> terry is like 5'11". so it's a way to keep them apart. they weren't married when terry was diagnosed with she could have left. she didn't. i learned a lot about all those values from my moms. >> jon: it's a wonderful lesson but also i thought that particular area was important for the practicality of the debate because jackie... you talk about how there are about 120 rights that you get when you're married much one of the things that they treated jackie in the hospital with
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your mom as a stranger. >> that's right. terry, as part of our m.s.symptoms has this debilitating pace feign and there was an episode in 2006 that got so bad they had to go to the e.r. terry to suffer through the most single painful night of her life. she's a woman who gave birth to my little sister with no anesthesia. she's awesome. she's out here too. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: that's serious business. are are they all here? >> right there. >> jon: are you with the author? get in the back. >> and the reason that was the case was because the doctor who was running the that point was not legally required to listen to jackie because jackie wasn't terry's wife. she was just the woman who brought the patient in. just one example of the
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realities of the struggles that l.g.b.t. people in this country face every day. >> jon: it strikes me as what's wonderful about the book is it is written from the perspective of a positive perspective on it but perfect judo because if the idea is, oh, well, children need a mom and a dad or they won't be raised to have the values that this country stands for, these are the values this country stands for. i don't think i've met anybody that represents them better than you. it speaks amazingly for your family. >> thank you very much. that's a big honor. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: what's nice about this is i think a lot of people who agree with you, i really hope a lot of people who are not sure will read this. aren't you also working on another project about that. >> that is called "out to dinner." out to dinner dot-org.
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we're inviting straight couples to host these dinners in which they invite an l.g.b.t. couple and folks who are on the fence about the whole gay thing. and then just come together and, you know, break some bread and share a bottle of wine or four. you know, whatever. >> jon: that's when it gets good. >> exactly. and then just get to know each other and have a great time. i think that's really what's going to move this country forward on this issue is having to a face-to-face conversation and getting to know each other in a way that transcends these sodom eyes taking over our towns and cities which obviously.... >> jon: you are saying in front of all of us your families are not godless sodom eyes taking over our cities. that is the claim you are making today, sir. >> this is on tv, right. >> jon: it's going to be on tv. isn't it always about that? oftentimes you couch it in well it's just bigotry. sometimes it's just not having experience with something.
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once you do, you go, oh, humanity. the same on all sides. i get it. you're just trying to live your life and raise your kids and do the right thing. >> i think there are a lot of differences that people can sometimes get hung up on like the fact that i'm really good at putting the seat down or using a razor or whatever. >> jon: (laughing) what they don't understand... ( cheers and applause ) all right, kid. let me tell you something. this is a wonderful book. you will love it. you will weep at times. it is an incredible demonstration of the power of real values. you, sir, are the embodiment of it. i believe and i say this to you with all due respect, you are pea k-ing too soon. i expect big things from you. my two moms. please buy it.
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