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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  September 27, 2012 11:00pm-11:30pm PDT

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we will trade notes on how each of us celebrated yom kippur. now, obviously you have heard about the tensions in syria, iran, throughout the mideast. but there is a battle brewing much closer to home. >> tonight the food fight sweeping school cafeterias nationwide. >> students who say healthy lunches now mandated under federal guidelines are leaving them hungry. >> jon: news flash! extra extra, children think school lunches suck. (laughter) we now go out to our own captain obvious who has been following this story since schools began serving lunch. (laughter) all right, what's the problem? >> smaller portions, fewer calories, less meat and cheese, and more fruits and vegetables. >> some kids are complaining that their lunch doesn't fill them up.
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>> the new rules limit elementary schoolers to 650-- 650 call reerx 700 calories for middle schoolers and 850 for high schoolers. >> jon: extra extra, school lunches suck! and the portions are too small. (laughter) so you hate the food and you want more of it. but i guess look f the government is actually policing students and reses-- restricting their caloric intake that does seem a bit draconian. >> despite calorie limits students can always get seconds of fruits and vegetables. >> jon: oh, sure, fruits and vegetables, like that counts as food. you know what we call fruits and vegetables at my school, nerd grenades. and i should know because i got hit by a lot of nerd grenades. (laughter)
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i thought my nick name was incoming. (laughter) all right, sure. this is only for lunches that are subsidized by the government and sure, you're allow unlimb thed fruits and vegetables. but a third of our kids are overweight or obese. and if this keeps up from the government we are never getting that above 50%. (laughter) i'm still not clear on why they're hungry. >> at some schools the amount of food thrown out in cafeterias is shocking. >> kids are now throwing away twice as much food as last year. >> jon: hmmmm, now i am obviously not a nutritionist or an educator but i think if these kids are hungry i guess my solution would be, eat your mother [bleep]
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lunch! (laughter) you know whose's not hungry in your old pal remmy counting out in the dumpster. because you gave him your lunch. so the usda which has been setting guidelines for subsidized school lunch force the past, oh, i don't know, 70 years, has, i'm trying to curb what everybody agree says childhood obesity problem changed the last year's school lunch men fru cheese pizza, canned pie nap app-- ian apple, tater tots into whole wheat cheez pizzar, applesauce and low fat milk. oooh. why is this news? >> new guidelines thanks to michelle obama, michelle obama school lunch calorie limits. >> michelle obama nutritional school lunches. >> jon: oh, man, oh, right, that's right. because this isn't really about food or kids.
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it's about big government uber thanny michelle obama who if she said we feed clean air half the country would demand gills because freedom! listen the complaint. >> the usda shouldn't be deciding how many calories we take or how many calories we expend during the day. at some point it personal responsibility, i'm talking about. >> jon: this is america, jack. just because uncle sam is buying me lunch doesn't mean he request tell me what to eat-- he can tell me what to eat. by the way, how do you feel about this. >> the issue should you be able to use, be allowed to use an abd card i food stamp card at a mcdonald's. >> i would rather have my tax dollar going a family buying stuff at costco and bulk. >> jon: right, because this is america, jack! if uncle sam is paying for the meal, uncle sam gets to tell where you to eat. oh!
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i just forgot, i don't make any [bleep] sense! the story actually came to light because it is kind of a fini parody music video made by some high-school students that even included some much younger students singing along in kansas where they decried the new federal guidelines and even burned the legislation. kids taking a strong political stand. pretty sophisticated stuff. >> the parody school was actually written by an english teacher at the school. (laughter) >> jon: oh, a teacher wrote a song that the children including what appear to be elementary schoolkids performed against the government. i wonder how fox is going to take this. i don't mean their pundits, i mean their news people. >> cafeteria revolt, the new school lunch program that has left students starving. >> in kansas some kids and a teacher came up with a parody, a video turning the song we are young into we
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are hungry. >> i'm told that if people don't like their vegetables you just serve it to them day after day after day and some people believe that that will make them love their vegetables. >> jon: it's all just good fun this is a funny little video, parody individual yog, kids at school t reminded me of that video of kids singing a song about barack obama just after he was inaugurated. >> we are trying to get some answers about a video that is getting attention on the drudge report web site this morning. it shows young children singing the praises, quite literally of the president. many parents have no problem with this. many parent was. and just don't want this sort of political cheerleading, if you will, in the classroom. >> jon: hmmmm, the tone seems different in those two stories. so kids singing a song criticizing the administration, it is just funny. kids singing a song praising
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the administration, we'll show it to you. its's-- it's very disturbing. so how divide ready we as a nation. we have two types of diabetes and if obama is against them, well, america's number one news network is for one of them. (laughter) we'll be right back.
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(cheers and applause) welcome back. as anybody's commute involving even a passing thought of the east side of manhattan knows the u.n. general assembly is in town. i got to confess, i love it. because the u.n. is where you get to see countries go insane. whether it's khrushchev attack inindividualable table gnomes with his fist or qaddafi dressed like tyne daly throwing the charter around or hugo chavez complaining about the room's air quality. >> today the devil came here, right here. >> right here. and it smells of sulfur still today. >> jon: smells of sulfur
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pretty bold move of then president bush specifically since the charter specifically says that he who smellt it-- (laughter) shall be considered to have dealt it. anyway, given that history, the current state of the world, everyone was expecting some high drama during this week's session. >> and now to that showdown over iran. >> all eyes are on the united nation. >> fiery rhetoric from the iranian president. >> next up of course the showdown over iran. we'll see it all play out at the united nations. >> jon: it's on, world war iii, president obama opened so he had a chance to draw first blood. >> the iran yen government continues to prop up a dictator in damascus and supports terrorist group as broad. time and again it has failed to take the opportunity to demonstrates that nuclear program is peaceful. >> jon: oh yeah. here it come, people, president obama is going to be like, so it is 0800, bombing starts in an hour,
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who here wants to be in a coalition of the winning because we're about to [bleep] democracy! (cheers and applause) >> so let me be clear, america wants to resolve this issue through diplomacy. >> jon: diplomacy? you're johnnie jones a lot. dr. seal team 6. the guy who made sure there's no i in bin laden. (laughter) and suddenly you're up there practically quoting gandhi. >> it's time to heed the words in gandhi, intolerance is itself a form of violence and an obstacle to the growth of a true democratic spirit. >> jon: all right, sure, gandhi said that but i would have gone with another gandhi quote f i may, i came here too fast or kibling ass. -- and i'm all out of no food. what? tell me gandhi wasn't cranky
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from the hunger. i fasted for one day yesterday and i was ready to punch a baby. so obama let me down a little bit. but you know who never disappoints, a ahmadinejad what a guy, right, can't live with him, can't get him to admit the holocaust really happened. all right, i don't want to say the guy has been tankers with nuclear bombs but before he walked into the u.n. that marble behind him was white. dude's radioactive. let's take a listen. >> i am here to voice the devine and humanitarian message of learned men and women of my country. a message that iran's great or ther and poet saadin presented to humanity in his eternal two-line poetry.
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>> jon: oh, i remember that poem. it goes something like this. al hickory al dick ory dock, the zionists can eat -- >> give me some that old time i hate your religion. >> i do not believe that muslims, christians, jews, hindu, buddhists and others have any problem among themselves. or are hostile against each other. they get along together comfortably. >> jon: ah, if by comfortably you mean with nearly constant bloodshed. i mean if you are not going to take a shot at the jewish global cabal ruining your life, at least throw an insult the americans way, you know you want to. >> are we to believe that those who spent money-- hundreds of millions of colors on election campaigns have the interests of the people of the world at their heart?
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>> jon: really, you are going to go after us with campaign-finance reform? i say to you, the world body, if mccain-feingold was not so toothless, the prevalence of super pacs-- isn't anybody going to give us the red meat rhetoric and innovative prop comedy we have come to expect from the united nations? >> this is a bomb-- (laughter) >> jon: that's what i'm talking about. >> this is a fuse. in the case of iran's nuclear plans to build a bomb, a red line should be drawn right here. (laughter) >> jon: okay, first of all, i just got to say, bebe,
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bubbi, what's with the wiley coyote nuclear bomb? are you really going to pretend, are you going to pretend that you don't know what a nuclear bomb looks like? you're israel. run downstairs and look in the batesment. although if that is the sort of bomb we're dealing with i think i've got a pretty easy solution to this entire iran problem. we'll be right back
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>> jon: welcome back, my guest tonight plays basketball with the new york knicker bockers and the author of a book series for children, number one home court, number two next week double team. please welcome to the program amare stoudemire. >> how are you doing (cheers and applause)
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>> stephen: must be nice. (laughter) how are you feeling? >>. >> feel great. >> stephen: do you feel in shape, dow feel ready, you're starting the season in like a week. >> yeah, we start training camp shortly. >> stephen: are you going to be able to get in shape by then, i mean really you let yourself go in the off season a little bit i see. tell me about this, su have two books. what is the gist of this. how did this come about these two books. >> well, there is a shortage of young boys that want to read from the ages of 8 to 12. and i figure if i write a book from my perspective, a few of my childhood stories within these books then the young boys will be intrigued from the fact i'm a basketball players from the knicks and they want to gout and hear about my story if i'm grown-up.
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i figure if i write a book that intrigues them to want to read. >> jon: at the end of this book does it turn into a video game by any chance? what is it that you are looking, have you done a lot of work with kids now? you have used your celebrity, used your fame to go out and seen what kids are concerned about now. is there something you have noticed, you have seen this they're not reading, they're to the doing-- was's gong in your mind. >> absolutely. with at mare stoudemire foundation is based upon curing poverty through education. and so a lot of my work goes back to the youth to try to figure out areas where we can try to improve that education barrier for the youth. so this is a tool for them to use to try to improve their education. >> jon: now you could by all rights ignore all of this, live a very good life, very rich life. i find it very commendable that you go back. what is it about, is it your
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story that you're relating to, is it something in your life that causes you to not want to forget, to not-- to help these kids. >> yeah, because i think with myself growing up, education was not a main priority when i was that age. and over time it became to become a factor of you not applying yourself. and so that's just something that's happen noug with the youth as a whole. so i figure with the amare stoudemire foundation we can figure out ways to spark that mind to let them know that being smart is cool, being able to read is cool. there is nothing wrong with that at all to try to get the youth to uplift the smart. >> jon: because not everybody, and there is just something i've read, gets to play for the knicks. but it is, because it so interesting to me, because the people that ultimately end up looking up to really are doing something spectacular. you didn't know you would be 6, 11 and have i guess what the kids would have ups.
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and i think there is a tendency to think oh f i just play some ball and work hard, i will become a amare stoudemire. but that really is rarefied air and this is much more of a tool that more kids can use. >> that is totally true it there a small percentage of all the students out there in the world that make it to a professional sport level, extremely small percentage. and there are other ways to be skuk sesful besides being a professional athlete. >> jon: name one. >> i mean doing your job. >> jon: not even close, not even close, not even close. all right. if they would only lower the rim i would trade this in a second. do you guys, it is so interesting to me because you know, for young kids, and a lot of times come from disadvantaged backgrounds, sport has always been something that they look at. or music. but they do there hasn't been as much of an emphasis
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on education for kids. but getting athletes to go back into the community, getting musesicians to go back into the community and talk bed case seems to really get through to them. have you found that has been a good avenue for you talking about. >> absolutely. i have been speaking with the youth for over ten years now. ever since my rookie year with the nba. and being on this platform that we are on as professional athletes, we have a willpower to want to give back to the youth. and so they look up to us to give them a blueprint and be that roll model for them. >> jon: we all look up to you, your stomach. and how is your yom kippur, we talk about this a little bit. you discoveried recently you have hebrew background. >> that's right. >> jon: must be obviously a very small percentage. how did you discover this? >> well, i have been studying, my mom and my father i have been studying it for 12, 13 years. and i was able to go back to israel and study the hebrew
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roots. and came-- . >> jon: are you able to read hebrew k you speak, do the prayers and all that, and if so, can you help me do that, because i-- i am excited. i'm going come see new year. and i'm going to bring an 8-year-old with the books. and we're going to come and you'll teach us how to dunk or whatever you will-- you guys going to be good this year. >> really good. >> jon: better than the heat? (laughter) (applause) book number one, home court, book number two, double team. amare stoudemire. @@@@@@@@ú[l[m[m[m[
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>> jon: that's our show, everybody. join us next week at 11:00. we have nice guests


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