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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  November 28, 2012 11:00pm-11:30pm PST

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- oh. - oh, my-- - thank you guys so much for everything. - thanks for coming out, everybody! [cheers and applause] - ♪ i'm gonna do my one line here ♪ - oh, yeah. captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to "the daily
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show"! my name is jon stewart! we've got one for you tonight, man. we're not messing around. our guest tonight, noted -- (audience yells something) i'm sorry? i hope that was not an anti-semitic slur. our guest tonight -- (laughs) it's my birthday today so -- (cheers and applause) thank you for the kind wishes. (cheers and applause) thank you for the kind birthday wishes, again, thank you. very kind. but let's get to our show! the noted author and inventor neil young is going to be joining us. (cheers and applause) we begin tonight with the attacks on the u.s. consulate in benghazi, libya. it was a tragic situation where american lives were lost and in the three months since the attack, legitimate questions of adequate embassy security, americas overall advocacy in fighting the war on terror and the intricate dance between
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national security confidentiality and the public's right to know have all been distilled down, thrown out and replaced with this one urgent conclusion concerning current u.s. ambassador to united nations susan rice. >> i will do everything in my power to black her from being the united states secretary of state. she's not qualified. >> jon: that's senator john mccain continuing his seven year quest to negate every good thing he'd ever done prior to that. (laughter) this time leading the charge to preempt as an of now hypothetical obama nomination for secretary of state to replace hillary clinton. why? because five days after the benghazi attacks, susan rice went on the sunday talk shows and said this: . >> the best assessment we have today is that in fact this was not a preplanned, premeditated attack. that what happened initially was a spontaneous reaction to what had just transpired in cairo as a consequence of the video. >> jon: (whit perking)
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we know that that's wrong now. and we now know many in the obama administration knew immediately that that statement was wrong. that the attackers were not angry film critics. (laughter) but al qaeda or one of al qaeda's able a. teams, the ansar al-sharia mud hens. (laughter) so susan rice met yesterday with senators mccain, graham and ayotte to clear the air. how did that go? >> ambassador rice i think does not do justice to the reality at the time and in hindsight clearly was completely wrong. >> we are significantly troubled by many of the answers that we got and some that we didn't get concerning evidence that was overwhelming leading up to the attack on our consulate. >> jon: here's the deal: they may be right. though on the scale of public misstatements, rice's comments seem to fall more for the
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embarrassing evidence of institutional disorganization end of the scale. (laughter) but here's the thing: these two don't get to be the ones who self-righteously get angry about this. they're upset she may have passed bad intel, wittingly or unwittingly to the american people. remember these two from a decade ago? >> saddam hussein continues to acquire, amass, and improve on his arsenal of weapons of mass destruction. he continues to acquire -- attempt to acquire a nuclear weapon. these are all well-known facts. >> let's act now to get rid of a tyrant who's abused and killed his own people, who's procuring weapons of mass destruction, substantial evidence to that effect. >> jon: i remember all that from their hit blog (bleep) old guys who unnecessarily get us into wars say. (cheers and applause) of course, it's probably not a one-to-one comparison. unfortunately, that's not fair. it's not a one-to-one comparison. because while susan rice admitted to the error within weeks, these two still refuse to
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acknowledge that invading a country based on information from a source named "curveball" was actually considered pretty (bleep)ing idea by many at the time. if only we had a more direct comparison to make here. sort of a one-to-one. like another high-ranking government official passing what they knew at the time was misleading intelligence to the american public on a sunday news show. also in line to become secretary of state and was african american and a woman and, let's say her name was also rice. (cheers and applause) that would be something! >> we do know that there have been shipments going into iran, for instance -- into iraq for instance of aluminum tubes that really are only suited to high -- high quality aluminum tubes that are only suited for nuclear weapons programs, centrifuge programs. >> jon: she knew that was bull (bleep) at the time. what would a john mccain or lindsey graham say about a woman
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like that's qualifications for secretary of state? >> to attack her personally is way over the line because she is our face and voice to the world and you're not doing any american any good by sending her off with such labels. >> but i think it's very clear that condoleezza rice is a person of integrity. and yes, i see this -- some lingering bitterness over a very tough campaign. i hope it dissipates soon. >> jon: oh, i'm sure it will. what kind of crotchety "grand torinoish" old (bleep) would be able to get over a simple campaign loss? it's unimaginable. (laughter) so why is john mccain doing this? (cheers and applause) well, the congressional black caucus representative marcia fudge-- that's right, you heard me-- (laughter) marcia. (laughter) actually, congresswoman fudge is one of our nation's most hardworking and i can only assume delicious congress people. (laughter)
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she had a theory about ambassador rice. >> any time something goes wrong they pick on women and minorities. >> come on now! >> i have a real issue with that. susan rice's comments didn't send us to iraq and afghanistan. >> uh-huh! >> well -- >> somebody else's did. i'm probably not the most educated person in this house. >> you're an attorney. >> but i'm close. just go on and hate on. but look in the mirror and hate yourself, not the people who do this work. thank you. uh-huh! >> jon:oooh! (cheers and applause) first of all, why isn't every press conference like that? (laughter) a press conference infused with life and emotion. she just turned the house of representatives into tyler perry's "house of representatives." (cheers and applause) the only problem is -- the only problem is i think they might be wrong. >> uh-huh. >> you know it. >> that's right, that's right. uh-huh. >> jon: with all due respect, i humbly disagree the caucus.
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>> with all due respect, he humbly disagrees with the caucus, uh-huh. >> jon: that's not -- john, that's not what we're doing. you just repeated what i said. >> i'm just repeating what he says, uh-huh. i do it. i do it. >> jon, can i help here? >> jon: jessica, could you please? >> i come from black churches. it's not about repeating something, it's about feeling something. >> you've got to feel it! >> you can't force it! >> it's a call and response. you've got to make it seem like you're paying attention when really you're not. >> jon: that's right. >> hey, i do not hear a word you said! >> jon: . >> whoa! you don't think i'll get this? believe me, have you guys ever seen the houses of parliament in britain? that place is the whitest black church you've ever seen. (applause) >> following in the footsteps of margaret thatcher. >> here! >> yes! >> here, here! >> there you go. >> okay, now, all right. >> jon: i love it. now, listen, i'm not saying the nova scotia over ambassador rice doesn't have race as an
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ingredient. >> come on now, come on. >> right. >> jon: but only in the same way that race and sexism play a subtly corrosive part in nearly all of our discourse. >> preach! >> tell the truth. >> uh-huh. >> jon: the congressional black caucus, including the beautifully named representative fudge -- >> oh, yeah, fudge. fudge. >> come on, keep it coming! >> what you got now? (laughter) >> so much fudge! (laughter) >> forget about it! >> fudge it out. >> jon: they get excited about fudge. >> uh-huh. >> jon: but, see, they're just -- the congressional black caucus is just trying to put mccain and graham's incoherent attack on rice in a coherent frame. this isn't racism or sexism. >> no, it ain't! jon: it's indiskrim that the bile. meaning it does not discriminate. >> no, it don't. >> jon: now, i'm probably not the most educated person on
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comedy central. >> no, because that would be colbert. (cheers and applause). >> jon: . >> you know that's right! you know that's right! >> jon: i'm probably the second. >> that's the south park guys. (laughter) >> jon: probably the third, i think i'm the third. >> no, there's two of them! >> jon: i'm the forth. >> don't forget my boy tosh. >> i'm the fifth! >> tosh is hell la smart, y'all. >> jon: mother (bleep). i'm starting to think this is not a good idea after all. >> that spun out of control real quick, didn't it? >> with the quickness! >> jon: how do you stop hype crews, by any chance? >> you don't, this train is gone. toot toot chuga-chuga. >> can't stop it. >> come on! >> i'll keep it rolling. >> jon: we'll be right back. >> come on now! (cheers and applause) 2@0á0á,jádtbxm,xrg-xevóx
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(cheers and applause).óx >> jon: welcome back! the 2012 elections -- 2012 elections are over, but what happens to the true heroes of our political process he? now that the spotlight has moved on, jason jones has more. >> the u.s. elections are over. >> barack obama will be reelected -- >> but what happens next for the
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professionals who were the true backbone of our democracy? american political consultants. not all of them work as cable news pundits. some follow a different path. >> people like me who work principally on campaigns look elsewhere, outside the country, you know, campaigns in other countries all around the world. >> tonight we hear the story of these american strategists who cross the globe helping less fortunate democracies. they are consultants without borders. ♪ a hero could save us -- >> listen, every place is not like, you know, our country in terms of the stage of development of democracy. u.s. political consultants just have a lot more experience. >> and that experience can make all the difference for nations in need. >> well, in ireland, for example, the incumbent government had a web site and the web site had a link to "playboy" and it just so happens that the minister who was in charge of that department's name was pat rabbit. so we shared that information.
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it made for a great headline, "rabbit's bunnies." (laughs) which was perfect! (laughter) >> just to think, that meaningless titty scandal might have gone unutilized. >> it might have gone unnoticed but for my small contribution. >> they say give a man a smear and he'll win a campaign, but teach a man to spear and he'll win for a lifetime. so american consultants are also training their foreign counterparts at conferences like this. >> in austria we -- the consultants sometimes have too much respect and the american consultants come in and have no respect. >> how great it is to have that knowledge now? >> i feel inspired. >> those americans help you win. >> yes. >> what an incredible gift that is to the russian people. >> yes, yes, of course. >> i know you're russian and not used to expressing joy, but can you show a little joy? >> yes. yes. yes.
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yes. (laughter) >> okay, i'll take that. of course, all of this is to benefit the citizens of these emerging democracies. the people of bolivia, the ukraine and honduras couldn't be more thankful. i'm looking at your faces and just seeing how grateful you all are. (laughter) >> we don't like it one bit. >> you don't like it? >> no, it's not a good thing. the american political consultants came in to do a full overhaul of his image after he should rightly have been put to jail. so they came up with him smiling on political advertisements and there were simple slogans "i'm listening." >> that's great! >> no, not really. he threw his opponents in jail. >> that doesn't mean he wasn't listening. probably heard something he didn't like and threw them in jail. >> not really helping democracy. >> he won. our system works. >> just because it works doesn't mean that it's necessarily right. a perfect example was gonzalez posada. he was elected president and
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that was a disaster. >> disaster must be the spanish word for success because tad devine had been in bolivia working on that exact campaign. >> it was a very difficult campaign. our principal opponent had two things going for him: number one, he had a tremendous mustache. (laughter) he also had an incredible lama ad. he had an ad with him and a lama. but our candidate wound up winning elections. >> that's terrific. >> well, yes, he got elected but the results for the country were awful. >> what does this bolivian guy know about bolivia? >> listen, it's very complicated there and unfortunately after he was elected there was insurrection in the streets. riots and ultimately he was forced to resign. >> american style democracy undone by the will of the local people. (sighs) >> it was a very difficult situation. >> how did you pick yourself up? >> i went on to the next campaign. >> god bless you, sir. and their perseverance is
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rivaled only by their generosity. >> it's been great to travel to these places, to work with people. >> and to do all this without getting paid is just incredible. >> well, i get paid for it. >> yes, but less than you do here. >> i sometimes get paid less and sometimes i get paid more. >> well, financial compensation doesn't diminish the volunteer spirit. >> well, it's someone who enjoys the work and is happy to have the opportunity to do it. >> a hero. >> i'll just - political consultant is good enough for me. >> they say that a hero can save us. and lucky for the rest of the world we have plenty of those. (cheers and applause). >> jon: jason jones. -ïx=uhr(ú'2lt:eá
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(cheers and applause). >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight, the legendary musician whose memoir is called "waging heavy peace." please welcome back to the program mr. neil young. (cheers and applause) (cheers and applause)
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>> jon: thank you for being here. >> thank you. thank you for asking me, having me. >> jon: we're delighted to have you. "waging heavy peace" is the book. i have read -- there have been a spate of these that have come out, these sort of the rock legend autobiographies. so many of them have a formality to them, i felt reading this like i was hanging out with you as you puttered around your garage or somehow walking around -- (laughter). >> yeah. >> jon: -- inside your brain. it's so -- you wrote this yourself. >> yeah, oh, yeah. you know, ghost writers scare the hell out of me. (laughter). >> jon: nobody likes ghosts. >> nobody likes ghosts. (laughter) no, i'm guilty as charged. i wrote it. >> jon: but it's really -- it has such a hospitable charm to it that -- and your image is not necessarily as warm -- >> (laughs). >> jon: -- as this book
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clearly is. have you been holding out on us all these years? >> you know, behind the scenes i'm really nice. >> jon: (laughs) >> this guy here is just not happy looking. i don't know why they always do that. >> jon: (laughs) it's the pictures that make you not happy. >> it's the pictures that make me look -- and maybe some of the songs, okay. (laughter) but that's okay. i'm -- i'm moving past that now. i'm very positive. >> jon: that's what i found interesting about the book is you have -- i have found that in my family as i age i am less willing to self-reflect. i am more rigid. you seem the opposite, growing as an individual, actualizing as a person throughout your life. you know, you can stop now. (laughter) >> yeah. i'm having trouble stopping, jon. i keep going. (cheers and applause). >> jon: i think that's admirable. (applause)
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there is a -- you know, for an artist such as yourself-- and i think people don't recognize how eclectic your talents really are. could you very very briefly, like an inventor, model train enthusiast, a patent holder. >> yeah. yeah. (laughter) but, you know, that's fun -- >> jon: you should read this, it's a fascinating story. (laughter) that guy's fascinating! >> that guy, he's scattered. >> jon: no! >> no, i love doing things like that. i love trying to solve problems. i love trying to make things better in my -- just for me, you know? i'm not trying to change the world. i would just like it to be bet sore that when i look at it, it's great. you know what i mean? not so i can make a million dollars or even a go zillion. although make a -- >> jon: a gozillion, you could really a lot with that. >> yeah, you could. >> jon: do you feel it as a pressure? or just as a state of being?
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do you wake up in the morning and think "i've got to make something of this day" or it's just your rhythm? >> for instance, i'm walking down the street and i see some beautiful girl walking along. >> jon: i've had that experience. (laughter) >> so that's it. we're together. >> jon: exactly. simpatico. >> and she's got these white things coming out of her ears and i'm going "that poor girl. she's listening to real crap." >> jon: (laughs) and i go "it's so easy to fix that." and then i put together a team of people and we fix it. >> jon: that's the pono. so this is a man -- i never realized it. i thought you take muse frick an l.p. and when you compress it, i didn't realize how much of it -- of that information you lose. how did you go about addressing that? >> well, people don't have mp3 listening parties. >> jon: right. >> they have vinyl listening
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parties, a vinyl evening at my house or something. and people -- like my own daughter is having her wedding and she's so excited and called me up "daddy, i've got a d.j., they're only going to play soul 45s, real 45s and a turntable." and they're doing this because you can feel it, you can hear it. so i don't want to go on a big rap here, but the 21st century digital, what we have at pono, it's not your mother's digital. >> jon: i just want you to know that my mother still doesn't have an answering machine so don't worry about -- (laughter). in terms of digital you don't have to worry about it. she still gets milk delivered. >> those are my talking points. >> jon: we're going to go -- here's what we'll do. we'll take -- can you stick around for a few minutes? >> oh, yeah. >> jon: we'll talk more about the interesting life. i want to hear more about the story where you gave all your friends and family marshmallow kebobs made of poison oak. >> thank you, i can do that. >> jon: we'll get to that. that sounds good. "waging heavy peace" is on the bookshelves now. get it to learn that story and
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how to listen to real music with real information around it. neil young. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause)
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