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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  February 20, 2014 11:00pm-11:32pm PST

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mahoney's my favorite character. . >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. my guest tonight ronan farrow. he has a new show on a network called msnbc, look it up in your cable guide it's called ronan farrow daily. so i assume that means it will air four days a week for 22 minutes. [laughter] but if i may: i believe it was
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martin luther king,j who said the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends towards justice. or something like that. [ laughter ] however, appears some of america's fate legislators would like to make that arc longer and maybe have it bend not as much towards justice but towards their own ass. like kansas the wheat state. the place you are desperately trying to get back to from oz, ol boxy. state lawmakers asking their parents is that all you got? [laughter] put your back into it. >> one kansas lawmaker wants to allow parents to hit their kids harder. [laughter]
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>> jon: yeah. chew on that for a little bit. hello my name is representative gale finney. are you holding back from punching the (bleep) out of your children because you fear legal repercussions? fear no more your nightmare is over whereas theirs is just beginning. >> this as will school teamers, allows baby-sitters, whoever has guardian's written permission to hit a child harder. >> jon: birthday clowns, other children. [ laughter ] local drifters, boogeymen or women. whoever it is in your life that you believe hits the hardest. [ laughter ] you can sign that power over to them. while you are here to fix the cable would you mind going
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upstairs? i got a nine-year-old that won't make the bed. [laughter] a quick shot to the chops would do it. what is this law specifically mean by harder. q. and could you form your answer the way perhaps a serial killer might? >> house bill 2699 quote corp. roll punishment means up to 10 forceful applications in suck is is -- success of a bare open handed palm against the closed buttocks of a child knowledging bruising or redness might occur on the tender skin of a child as a result. >> jon: yea as the rosie handprint blossoms on the young child's buttocks like a blushing flower against a field of virgin snow only then will a lesson be branded on your once defiant ward, you are honor. -- your honor.
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why shouldn't we hit our children hard enough to bruise them? >> they have research that has shown it is less effective than time out. it tends to lead to more aggressive behaviors with a child. >> jon: scientific studies from a bona fide expert on discipline. and the counter argument. >> sure shot tweeted us. i agree with the bill. i got spanked with marks and it taught me to be a grown up. [ laughter ] >> jon: american academy of pediatrics and sure shot at darn tootin. i guess all we can do is teach the controversy. i'm not going to hit my kids, become some anonymous tweeter thinks it never bothered him. i need role mold rnlings -- role models did. >> they spank you? >> oh, god yes with the hair brush on the side of road.
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>> with my dad it was one motion a belt. >> hide of the road hiewl millation. >> i wasn't humiliation. it was just sheer corp. roll punishment and i must say it was effective. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jon: no deep emotional scars there. [ laughter ] by the mika bra skin i ask's father was adding that to his wikipedia page. ho do you punish a child's brain? we turn to missouri for that where state representative rick bratton son a crusade. >> after three failed attempts to change the way schools teach evolution he is using the language of choice. >> my bill would allow parents
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to opt out of natural selection teaching. >> i definitely think parents should be notified if evolution is taught. i believe creation. >> it's not taught in the bible so i should be taught in the class. [laughter] >> jon: the bible class. otherwise you are setting a pretty high hurdle if schools can't teach anything that is not in the bible, all right, kids welcome to woodshop. um, once again we will be building an arc. [ laughter ] all right we've had our fun with missouri let's move on again to another state. it's rolly kansas again? you just had your turn. this better be good. >> this week the kansas house passed a bill allowing public and private employees to refuse service to same sex couples due
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to religious beliefs. >> jon: this arc is not bending towards justice on my watch. how does this work? >> you have a company has a policy against anti-gay discrimination you can say i'm the bakery guy at the company so i won't make a cake for the gay wedding. >> jon: let me stop you right there? you think a gay wedding will have a supermarket cake? that's what you think? really? this couple has been waiting their whole lives for the freedom to marry. they are not going to swing by the the safeway to get an entemann's cake and let's grab a 30 candle for the number of years they denied us.
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this was shot down in the kansas state senate because there are some ideas too ridiculous even for a state senate. >> there's controversy at the arizona state capital today. >> yes, it seems that the state senate has approved a bill that allows businesses to refuse people's service based on their religious beliefs. >> jon: careful, arizona, you turn history back too far you are going back to being that weird patch between mexico and california that no one wants to talk about which really isn't that big a change, is it? honestly? i wanted a smartphone that shoots great video.
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so i got the new nokia lumia icon. it's got 1080p video, three times zoom, and a twenty-megapixel sensor. it's got the brightest display, so i can see what i'm shooting -- even outdoors, and 4 mics that capture incredible sound. plus, it has apps like vine -- and free cloud storage. my new lumia icon is so great, even our wipeouts look amazing. ♪ honestly, i want to see you be brave ♪ ♪ ♪ honestly, i want to see you be brave ♪ ♪ classical piano [richard] last year,thinking they can do their own taxes, americans left behind more than a billion dollars. that's five hundred dollars on every single seat. not just in this stadium, but in every professional football stadium in america. this is your money.get it back with block. get your billion back,america.
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berry pomegranate mio. do i just squirt a little? or you can squirt a lot. ...really changes your water. it changes everything. [ male announcer ] mio. squirt some.
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[cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. so we're about halfway through the program and you know what that means? time for me to settle in from a nightly midshow snack. tonight i'm going to do something special. i bought myself a sandwich from the local subway sandwich chain. the restaurant obviously not the transportation system. [laughter] their sandwiches are good but they always put too much urine. [ laughter ] you can never go wrong eating fresh. >> big changes for the world's largest sandwich chain this morning. subway is removing a controversial chemical from its
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bread. [ laughter ] >> jon: controversial you mean like controversial like the nfl isn't ready for a gay player controversy? or like subway bred chemical collecting the phone meta data or does this chemical want to build a mosque at ground zero? what chemical are we talking about? >> what we're talking about here asodide carbonomide. >> jon: i see the problem here. if you change your font size -- [laughter] -- you can fit that on just one screen. you could. [ laughter ] because any time you are using what appears to be 8,000 point text it is going to take up your whole studio. [ laughter ] tell me about this azodicarbominide. >> supposedly et helps make the
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bread look whiter and puffier but it's also found in yoga mats and the sole of our shoes. >> jon: yoke why mats. maybe that's when every time i eat at subway i end up in the bathroom in the lotus position. ohm. ohm. all right. fine. [ laughter ] you know what that's why i bring a back-up snack. i'll treat myself to a home made sandwich. i know what is in this. slice of classic american kraft singles cheese. >> kraft foods is cutting preserve actives from individually wrapped cheese slices. they are replacing the asorbic acid with something they say is say natural mold inhibitor. >> jon: i'm so hungry. a mold inhibitor. kraft american singles don't
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need mold inhibitors they don't go bad by definition because they are american. as a matter of fact. my grandfather gave me these slices when i was seven. [ laughter ] i just love my country's cheese. desperate times call for desperate measures people. i'm going to have to dig into my emergency food reserve. [ laughter ] hello hotpocket. [ laughter ] hello pot hoct. -- hot pocket, trusted friend. [ laughter ] your time has finally -- [laughter] boy i hope they go to a roll. >> nestle usa issuing a voluntarily recall of certain hot pockets. >> the food company says they contain a small amount of recalled beef. >> jon: oh, my god! i had no idea they put actual beef in these.
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[ laughter ] i thought the insides were just stuff they found in their pockets. [laughter] maybe it's not the variety of hot pocket that i buy. maybe that hasn't been recalled. maybe it was just the queso chicken variety or bbq with chicken variety or pepperoni pizza variety or the new ham and bottle caps or lint and canadian penny as long as it's not my darling phillie cheese steak. >> the. >> what are you a croissan? how about you come over here and i'll beat your (bleep) french
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ass. that's sort of a philadelphia accent. what is wrong with this beef? >> they may contain meat from rancho feeding corporation which is recalling nearly 9 million pounds beef that regulators say came from diseased and unsound animals. >> jon: unsound. unsound cows, cows losing their marbles. like the kind of cow that would shoot reagan to get jodi foster's attention? she's not impressed cow. must guess is most cowed in the slaughterhouse environment are going to exhibit unsound behavior. i guess i have to mail my hoct pocket back for the recall. luckily you don't have to buy a
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>> welcome back. my guest tonight he's a journalist. he has a new show launching on msnbc next week called ronan farrow daily. please welcome to the show ronan farrow. sir. [cheers and applause] how are you? >> i'm well. i'm crazed. i'm trying to launch a show. >> jon: when is the show launching? >> monday 1:00 p.m. eastern time
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msnbc. >> jon: they don't have jobs so they can watch. >> both viewers of this show are going to love it. >> jon: they are going to love this program. you are young. do you mind me ising how old are you? >> i'm 26. >> jon: now that is -- >> all right some 26 year olds. good. yeah! rock on. >> jon: was that a screaming for survival? what was that. that is unusual but your resume lee flects a -- reflects a -- you went to college at 11? >> big nerd. still. >> jon: where did you go to school? >> bard college. come on guys. >> jon: nothing for bard. >> and law school at yale. >> jon: how old were you when you went to law school? >> i got in at 6:00 but i took off six -- two years to work at
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the u.n. i did not finish my keg stands. >> jon: going to work at the u.n. was like your rumspringer. >> exactly. >> jon: you became a roods scholar -- rhodes scholar? >> i did. >> jon: what is that? >> if you are pretentious enough they let you through the gates. it's a cool group of people. rache lerks maddow is a rhodes scholar. it's counter culture enough that i admire that as a credential. >> jon: how were you self possessed enough to be a high achiever in that regard? were you always civic-minded as a -- obviously -- i don't want to throw the word prodigy around but going to college at 11 is pretty special unless you are
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going to be an md or -- >> i am the type of lawyer that is probably a failed doctor. >> jon: really? >> i saw organic chemistry and was like nope going to law school. >> jon: tap point it could have gone either way? >> yeah, i did have this engrained sense of got to go into some kind of public service and in addition to watching netflix tried to give back something. i have the hollywood background. a lot of that was telling stories. going into the inside and thrashing out the great frustration. the work i did in afghanistan. i was at the state department for a while. no one leaves that kind of a role and that kind of place feeling totally satisfied what they've done. it's a big machine to work in. coming out of that and trying to make a difference from the outside made sense at the next step. >> jon: it's interesting to me because from a young age one of
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the most difficult things to infuse in people, not this generation or any people, young people is a sense of empathy and a larger world. a perspective that is more macroand less narcissistic. i think it's natural to. develop it as a young age i was curious if it was inherit you always felt that. your family is more socially active. >> i was lucky because i grew up in a crazy family. 14 of us and all different races and speaking six different languages. standard nuclear family. >> jon: so you had experience being at the u.n. >> right. or like a united colors of benetton ad. family photos entertaining. my siblings were adopted from really tough backgrounds from all over the world. physical disabilities, mental disabilities. it gave me a desire to definitely not have 14 kids
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right away. >> jon: i see. >> but also to try to give back in a lesser way because i may be less awesome but want to be of some use. >> jon: the show itself do you see it as -- have you watched a lot of cable news and thought oh, yeah, i could watch -- i could get people to fight in front of me. i could do that. >> your tirades against cable news are exactly what cable news needs. >> jon: that's kind of you to say. [cheers and applause] the nice thing is how well they listen. they really toned their acts down. >> quality unbiased reporting all the time. you know, i think will are bright spots. examples i have learned a lot from. i'm going into this not knowing how to do cable news. i learned a lot watching your show. >> jon: lord help you. >> even though it's a comedy context and i'm dg a news show on a serious news network.
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oh, come on. [ laughter ] >> jon: they've seen the show. [ laughter ] meanwhile all i'm doing is eating subway sandwiches. >> but do you build in a body of reporting. for me when i look at the landscape of cable news i see yes some good reporting but the good stories leave you at the side of road afterwards. what do you do with the snuftion want the extra step if i have ten minutes and i give a crap about this story, what do i do? my idea with this show is mobilize people. give people -- everyone has a call to action. we'll introduce to you a story maybe you don't know about it. give you a menu of things. on one side of issue,er on pt other side of issue a way to do something about it. we'll track over the course of the week what are your responses? >> it's a perspective that hasn't been seen at all on cable news. i think it's really interesting
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and i'm incredibly impressed right now but i'm probably not going to volunteer for anything. my generation. >> we'll get you holding up a sign. >> jon: i have to get throughout? son of a bitch. can i do this. i wish you all the best. starts monday. >> monday 1:00 p.m. eastern time msnbc. >> jon: this weekend you are watching probably lockup. keep it on that network. >> good stuff, lockup. i'm ♪
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♪ ♪
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to "you are here."man, "that life exists and identity." "that the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse." "that the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse." what will your verse be? berry pomegranate mio. do i just squirt a little? or you can squirt a lot. ...really changes your water.
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it changes everything. [ male announcer ] mio. squirt some. it changes everything. (whooshing punctuated by a loud crunch.) (whoosh! crunch!) (whoosh! crunch!) yeah! go team! team...? i saved the best for last. land speed record nine times. what was he chasing? what are you chasing? [cheers and applause] >> jon: that's our show. here it is your moment zen. the rock star ted nugent is expairing cnn to a top nazi
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after we detailed his slurs against president obama. >> cnn, propaganda ministry captioning sponsored by comedy central ( cheers and applause ) >> welcome to the report. thank you for joining us. ladies and gentlemen. thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. >> stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen. >> stephen: thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. ist


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