tv The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Comedy Central August 11, 2015 11:00pm-11:32pm PDT
come >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we have got a good show tonight. presidental-- presidential historian, our old friend joyce kearns goodwin is going to be joining us later, talking about presidents. but speaking of presidents, big news from yesterday. >> the white house taking jon stewart very seriously. >> "politico" is reporting that stewart secretly viingtsed the white house. >> the president invited stewart to two secret white house meetings when he needed media support. >> secretly meeting with president obama,.
>> secret meeting. >> had secret meetings. >> secretly working together for years. >> jon: oh [bleep]! (cheers and applause) that-- i have to tell you this, that sounds so much more awesome than what happened. (laughter) basically the president of the united states called my office and asked twice if i would come to washington and meet with him. and i did. (laughter) wasn't really that big a deal am i was brought through the secret white house tunnel entrance at mt. rushmore. it was a round table meeting with the president, elvis, still alive, minister farrakhan and the area 51 alien. but i remember, we opened with the traditional fall-- prayer, sukd on the blood of the rightous and took turns [bleep] the replica of the reagan eye socket oh, wait, i should
tell you its with a rep i will ka. the real reagan eye socket is kept in the smithsonian and is only [bleep] on christmas. (laughter) wow! but anyway, the wol secret thing pages it sound sinsters but if you guys insist, it was a secret. >> jon ste wrt was invited into the oval office not once but twice. secret meetings were they? >> well, not necessarily secret because it is on the log. they're just kind of coming out now, stewart, so depends on how you look at it. >> jon: right. so i guess if you looked at it, then it's not a secret. (laughter) >> jon: like if you looked at it that it was openly listed and i went through the normal white house entrance like everybody else and i toll my mom what i was doing and she told her friends and her friends are like, still not a cardiologist. but-- the point is this. something is not a secret
just because you don't know about it. now the saddest part is the media has got a serious case of the fomo. >> we just don't know what they talked about. >> if only you could be a fly on the wall during those meetings. >> yeah. >> jon: let me tell i something, you do not want to be a fly anywhere near president obama. >> nice. >> there it is. >> jon: by the way, the name of that bug, osama bin flyin, and i think you know the rest of the story. so i assume that the insinuation here is i was summoned to the white house so obama and i could coordinate on his agenda, maybe promoting obamacare or the auto bailout or something like that. what is your evidence. >> last year the president chatted up stewart hours before warning russia against further military intervention in ukraine. and stewart who seemingly worked in concert with the white house said this on his very next show.
>> russian forces storming ukrainian base, that is blatant naked aggression or at the very least disturbingly shirtless aggression, yeah. >> the next daily show there was jon stewart making fun of vladimir putin. and so it worked from the white house's point of view. >> interesting. >> jon: interesting. so you believe as russian troops gathered at the border of the ukraine, obama summoned me-- (laughter) just in case he needed help turning young americans against putin. so then the president had me go back in time and do [bleep] of other anti-putin headlines from years earlier so nobody would suspect i didn't care for vladimir putin. but let me tell you how this happened. the president asked me to come to washington. and i did. because if the president tells you, and you don't, who the [bleep] knows what would happen. and by the way, to all future presidents, if you ask me to come to washington,
i will do that. because i have no idea how to react to that other than, what time? and here's how the meetings went. this is what happened. we spent about five to seven minutes with obama kind of scolding me, not to turn young americans cynical. and i spent about five to seven minutes explaining to him i'm actually skeptically idealistic and smiling like this. and then we spent about 45 minutes arguing about really, the v 8 can't be fixed any quicker or health care.com can't come on line without crashing my son's minecraft game and the whole thing basically takes place over some of truly the best salomon you have ever had. so really, remember my interview with obama last week, it was that. but with salomon. in fact, don't even bother managing it, we'll do it for you. >> we have not been able to demonstrate at gillity -- >> no, no, no, no.
the reason they are going back up is i told you you have 2.7 million new folks coming in. >> it is going to add people. >> hold on a second. (laughter) >> now i can understand there are some folks at fox who are concerned that any meeting i take with a powerful individual should be disclosed, les it be considered possible cole use. let me-- collusion, let me tell you this, i have been summoned by a surprisingly wide variety of individuals over the years, from tech giants, to financial captains, to billy joel, true. and the general thrust of all of those meetings or phone conversations are the same. basically it's this. jon, why are you such an asshole. (laughter) it was true of the meeting with the president, and it's been true of the meetings with all those people.
and this would be of interest to many of them. in fact, there was one particular meeting that was actually secret, until an intrepid prefox howard kurtses blew the whistle on it when i was summoned by roger ailes to his office. just like my meeting with the president. except where the president had his people reach out to me by phone, for this meeting a raven woke me up at midnight. (laughter) anyway, here's a quick snippet of what that conversation was like. >> they didn't. >> i didn't understand or enjoy it but i'm sure it was profound. was the president of the united states trying to influence or intimidate or flatter me? my guess is uh-huh. did it work? >> i don't know. >> it sinister.
>> i don't blaep blooep know. in my entire tenure at being yelled at by powerful and influential individuals and billy joel-- (laughter) only, this is true, only with one of those people has a phone call ever ended with, quote, this conversation never happened. and if you say it did,-- did i will deny it. and it wasn't the [bleep] president. i will tell you what. what is wild to me is just how far and quickly this story spread, unquestioned. even though the article that it was based on if "politico" contain pretty basic factual errors. for instance political referred to our executive producer at scott budow, a man who i have known all this time as steve bodow. and whose name has been fact checked by our credits every
night the show airs. but you know, maybe the show is wrong. hey, can you come out here for a second. >> hey, jon. >> steve, is your name scott budow. >> no, it's actually steve bodow. >> jon: who is scott budow. >> well, according to linkedin, scott budow is a manager at tricounty auto glass in santa barbara. and scott-- . >> jon: let's see him. >> hey. (cheers and applause) >> hey, scott budow, thanks for the plug, i will take it from here. is your windshield in need of a repair. do you happen to live in santa barbara, then come to tricounty auto glass, southern central coast auto glass replacement experts. >> jon: sorry to interrupt here. if are you from santa barbara, what do you do here. >> i am here because steve and i occasionally like to
and let the bold flavors... speak for themselves with unlimited shrimp at outback i know you're not for inhis biggest fan.. it's just that he's ... (doorbell) tim!! everyone: tim! tim. tostitos rolls. pass the queso. tim, we need to hang out more. timnado! t-bone! actually, my name is brian. ahhh. we can still hang out, brian. tostitos rolls!. the official chip and dip sponsor of the nfl. ♪ turn up the summer with bacardi limon. try the all new bacardi tangerine. scott dans♪aw was never afraid of a good dare. or even a double dare. a dare made him a legend at brunner valley high.
and a pro basketball player for 10 seconds. scott danshaw, we have three more dares for you. mild chipotle, hot habanero, and fiery ghost pepper. taco bell's new $1 dare devil loaded grillers. try all three if you dare. [bong] we help you make all kinds of connections. connections you almost miss. and ones you never thought you'd make. we help connect where you are. to places you never thought you'd go. this, is why we travel. and why we continue to create new technology to connect you to the people and places that matter. >> jon: welcome back. as i wind down my time here, i leave this show knowing that most of the world's
problems have been solved by us, the daily show. but sadly, there are still some dark corners that are bloom of justice has not reached yet. until now, jordan kleppers report. >> in today's "pc world" it seems like everyone is trying to be a bit more tolerant. but in one stubborn town in rural red state arkansas, discrimination is on the rise. worst of all, the local city council refuses to open their eyes to the town's bigotry. >> we do not discriminate in eureka springs. everybody is accepted for who they are. if you are a seven foot tall man and you want to parade in town barefoot wearing a purple dress, that's fine. >> oh, really? tell that to local resident randall christie. >> there is discrimination everywhere, there always has been. i doubt there ever will be a time when there's not discrimination. >> you are facing discrimination here because are you jewish? >> no, i'm facing discrimination here because -- >> you're black?
>> i pastor a church. >> the people being discriminated against here are crist yens? >> yes. >> that's right. in arkansas where crist yens make up a meager 86% of the population, pastor cristie feels discrimination because eureka springs passed ordinance 2223. >> the ordinance prohibits discrimination based on a person's sexual orientation and gender identity. >> this backyard town actually voted to protect the lgbt community. >> i did take a vocal stand against 2223. this law deliberately discriminates against the church. they have a paragraph regulating church hiring practices. >> nobody is taking away the church's right to do anything. they are not a part of this ordinance. they're not included in this ordinance. it has absolutely nothing to do with churches. >> okay, though the church is excluded from this law and pastor christie can hire any one he wants. while the town didn't take away his church or ban
public displays of christianity or shut down his enormous passion play or remove his 66 foot christ of the ozark statue or stop him from expressing himself in local papers, on-line an through ads plasters around town, he is still under attack. >> when we passed ordinance 2223, the religious conservatives were so up set about this because they are anti-gay. they descended on us like a plague of locusts. >> okay, first of all, you can't use plague of locusts. that's a bible thing. that's not yours. >> okay. >> and secondly, why are you being so mean to these poor religious people. >> these poor religious people are mean to us. they write letters to the editor. they march up and down the street holding signs saying divorce is evil. >> maybe that's because they have to contend with the night marrish hell scape sin palace thunder dome of gay that is eureka springs. >> the energy of downtown in your experience has changed a lot since the influx of
lgbt, it really has. there used to be more family oriented shops than there are now. >> what are the types of shops that have come up that are more gay oriented, less family oriented? >> (laughter) >> there's a few. >> we don't have open displays of home secretaries-- how do you openly display that are you homosexual? >> you open up gay stores. >> we don't have-- we have stores that are owned by gay people but they're not gay stores. i really don't understand what are you talking about. >> well, there are stores that sell like interesting rugs. >> rugs. >> in your face lesbianism or what about that cute little gellato store, which that screams in your face,
accept me now homosexuality. >> gelato, that is kind of an ice cream, ice cream is-- not gender neutral? >> these laws that protect gender expression allow biological males to go wherever they want, biological females to go wherever they want depending on how they are expressing their gender that day. it is happening, you know. >> what is happening. >> there are people that walk that the rest rooms and someone in the opposite sex is in that rest room. >> doing what? >> evidently using the rest room. >> and then what? >> i don't know but that's a problem for some people. >> i'm not quite clear sure what bathrooms have to do with this. but for some reason, conservative religious people are terribleably hung up on bathrooms. >> the anti-discrimination ordinance is backed by the vast majority of local residents and he is unable to escape the constant reminder of the lgbt's
presence. >> they start pushing their lifestyle in other people's faces. >> they hang out their flag. you know, the old adage of hanging out your shingle. >> yeah. it always feels like it is just looming over you. >> ef lee where you go. -- everywhere you go. >> jordan klepper, we'll be >> jordan klepper, we'll be right back. everyday, millions of amazing photos and videos are shot with iphone. ♪ that's because the iphone makes it easy for everyone to shoot amazing photos and video. ♪
from bank of america to buy a new gym bag. before earning 1% cash back everywhere, every time and 2% back at the grocery store. even before he got 3% back on gas. kenny used his bankamericard cash rewards credit card to join the wednesday night league. because he loves to play hoops. not jump through them. that's the excitement of rewarding connections. apply online or at a bank of america near you. some drinks are hardly [glass breaking] .
when you call 811, i come out to your house and i mark out our gas lines and our electric lines to make sure that you don't hit them when you're digging. 811 is a free service. i'm passionate about it because every time i go on the street i think about my own kids. they're the reason that i want to protect our community and our environment, and if me driving a that truck means that somebody gets to go home safer, then i'll drive it every day of the week. together, we're building a better california. chaers plaus. >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight, best selling author, presidential historian, best selling book lyndon johnson and the american dream, to become available as an ebook on august 4th am please welcome back to our program doris kearns goodwin, come out
here, doris. (applause) how are you? here is what we are going to do. we'll talk a little modern politics and then a little lbj. we are in a situation right now, we have a republican primary with 16 candidates. yourself as an historian, have youive seen a primary field that is 16 people deep? is this, how unprecedented is this? >> never have i seen it. >> never, ever, ever. >> jon: it's never happened. >> as far as i know. are you going to put up something that shows that it has. >> jon: no, no, no. but what is going on? >> well, here's the crazy thing. you know, the first presidential primary was in 1912 when teddy roosevelt wanted to be president and taft was already president. so he needed a primary because taft had control of the party machinery. they started yelling at each other so much, calling each other puzzle whips, fat heads, that "the new york times" wrote an editorial
saying if this is the first presidential primary, it should be the last. it should make every american blush. so they said let's go back to the convention system which was rational. in the summer you nominate somebody. two months in the fall and it's over. i would go back to that tomorrow. you must love it, but i mean it's too long. >> jon: i mean it's destroying our country from the inside, it's corrosive, you must love it but the thing is, but completely understandable. i wonder about this, citizens united opened the process up to billionaires and multimillionaires of all stripes. and i wonder if these candidates are able to in the absence of what appears to be any popular support, stay in because they have got a backer. and backers can help you ride. >> that's the horse metaphor, somebody is betting on them. i think if i were young now, the thing i would do more than anything was to fight for an amendment under citizens united. and that is one of the things you should do too. remember we talked about writing a book together.
>> jon: yeah. >> it is the most poisonous thing happening in our system that money is doing everything. they are spending all their time raising funds. it's ridiculous. >> jon: here is what is so wonderful about that. i think it speaks to the goodness in you. whofern you said i wish i was young because i would fight for that. if i wished i were young, i would run around naked. >> well, i might do that too. while i'm fighting for that. >> jon: okay, sure, i just want to point out the disparity in how we care about people. and the other thing, as an historian, how do you deal with this influx of e-mail as historical record? and the ability for that to be be he raised, hillary clinton had a server in her house. as an historian, what are we going to deal with as far as an historical record. and i use an historical to sound smarter. >> you know, it's a real problem because for us historians the most important thing in the old days were letters and
diaries. they don't keep them any more, rightment handwritten letters, diaries. we depend on e mates. the one period that was totally gone from history is the telephone period. you call somebody up on the phone, you never have a record except if are you lyndon johnson and you do the tapes. >> jon: or nixon. >> here say great story. so lyndon johnson has this little tape machine in his oval office, he presses the button. you listen to these tapes, you will love them if you haven't listened. there is one where he is talking to his trouser manufacture. >> jon: he has a trouser manufacturer. >> and he wants 12 pairs of trouser but he said i have a problem. i vary my weight each month so i go up 10 or 15 pounds. do you know that area where the croc is, you know, where the balls hang down, sometimes if it's too tight, you know, it is like a wire fence i feel like i'm sitting on and that other area where the bum hole s sometimes that is too type, this is the president. >> jon: its he -- its's on tape. >> it's on tape and as a historian you love it.
>> jon: now that is an exhibit in his library i don't remember. >> but then you get to know the guy. no, but seriously, you need to know the personal and the public together. the other story that happened, i met this guy who was the c.e.o. of pepsi-colaa. so he told me knew lyndon johnson but didn't know nixon. when nixon first became president so nixon asked him to go to general son ranch to talk about a prave at matter. he is grumpy and said how can i remember what happened 20, 30 years ago. i had this tape machine, pressed the button. those chapters are great. you go back and tell your friend richard nixon as he starts his presidency, nothing more important than a taping. >> jon: it was johnson's fault. >> it was johnson. >> jon: incredible. (applause) >> jon: doris kearns goodwin, i love you. thank you so much for being with us. even the people that did the letters and diaries knew they were writing for history, so i imagine that was pointed it seemed like jefferson and adams always knew they were writing for each other but for history, i'm a great man who doesn't
like slavery. so you never know with that stuff. >> you never know. but at least its a he handwritten and you save it at the end of the day and they are writing their stuff. >> jon: and they know to say the bum hole what about -- >> very nice to see you, lyndon johnson and the american dream, available on ebooks august 4th doris kearns goodwin, everybody. kearns goodwin, everybody. (applause) m(cheeto catapaults ). (cheeto hits fan) way off (girl eating cheeto) a little more to the left! fire all four. bullseye! four flavors, four shapes. cheetos mix-ups. watch as these magnificent creatures take flight, soaring away from home towards the promise of a better existence. but these birds are suffering. because this better place turned out to have a less reliable cell phone network, and the videos on their little bird phones kept buffering. birds hate that.
so they came back home. because they get $300 from switching back to verizon, and so can you! verizon. come home to a better network. ♪ makin' it happen ♪ take it and grab it ♪ life by the horns ♪ till i find satisfaction ♪ keepin the score ♪ eager for more ♪ looking to soar ♪ up above the distractions ♪ okay! fun's over. aw. aw. ♪ thirsty? they said it would make me cool. they don't sound cool to me. guess not. you got to stick up for yourself, like with the name your price tool. people tell us their budget, not the other way around. aren't you lactose intolerant? this isn't lactose. it's milk. ♪ this isn't lactose. it's milk. steak and unlimited shrimp is back! for just $15.99!
for a limited time... try unlimited garlic herb butter... or crispy shrimp for just $15.99 and let the bold flavors... speak for themselves with unlimited shrimp at outback hiking brought us togetherdom hikers. but that's not the only thing that keeps us coming back. here's to friends who reach for better. fewer carbs, fewer calories, superior taste. michelob ultra. the superior light beer. i'mwell these 2-in-1s but also launchincome with a fast. and powerful intel core processor, which means you'll have everything you need to take on whatever college or the real world might throw your way. that's it! that's it! here you go. get all the technology you need to prep for your best year yet. save $100 on select 2-in-1 laptops plus get great offers with our exclusive college student deals. expert service. unbeatable price. best buy. captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org within that's our show, here
it is, our moment of zern. >> things got off to i a rocky start with the oven >> larry: tonightly blood is spilled kwreut again on the streets of ferguson. to answer your quick, donald trump, no it didn't come from meg other thamegan kelly's wher. [laughing] >> larry: we ask the question does america have ferguson fatigue and jesse tyler ferguson awaits the answer. don't worry it's not years. netflix announced one year of paid maternity or paternity leave. it makes sense as long as they don't hire the captioning sponsored by comedy central