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tv   The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore  Comedy Central  April 1, 2016 9:15am-9:48am PDT

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now...if you'll excuse me, i'm late for an important function. saving humanity from high insurance rates. ♪ (cheers and applause) (cheers and applause) >> larry: thank you very much! oh, look at h this crowd! thank you! whoo! (cheers and applause) thank you very much! please have a seat! thank you. you're very kind. thank you. you guys are too kind! welcome to the show. it is "the nightly show." i am larry wilmore and it is pie day, you guys. thank you very much. thank you for reminding me.
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i can't believe i ever forget this was pie dane. thank you so much for remaining me. everybody goes, we can have pie today? oh oh oh oh! sure, why not? man, crazy weekend on the campaign trail. let's check in with the unblackening. >> the can you rememberline county sheriff's office in north carolina says they're investigating if donald trump incited a riot. >> larry: hold on, guys. you can't arrest trump. how are you going to keep those cuffs on his baby hands? they'll slip right off, am i right? (cheers and applause) that's how houdini did it. foe get the inciting riots. we've got to check in with the eye blackening.
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i know! things began last week when a trump protester was sucker punched in north carolina thrown by john mcgraw, a 78-year-old guy dressed like a cowboy, who probably never thought he'd experience the sweet joy of punching a black guy and getting away with it like he used to. those days are gone! and when given the opportunity to be remorseful, he doubled down! >> "yes, he deserved it. the next time we see him, we might have to kill him." (audience reacts) >> larry: i don't like how casual old racist cowboy was when he said that -- "next time, i don't know, we might have to kill him." the only thing missing was a yawn -- (yawn) "i don't know, we might have to kill him." you do know you're talking about murder. a little too casual to say those words. now if you're going to give trump the benefit of the doubt, you'd assume he'd disavow this guy immediately. >> "it's possible you could help him with legal fees if this man needs it?" >> trump: "i've actually instructed my people to look into it, yes."
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>> larry: ooh, i hope it's the same people who were looking into obama's birth certificate for trump, because those people are horrible, which means that racist cowboy is going to jail for a long time. (laughter) and this incident is not just isolated to old racist cowboy. it seems to be a trend. >> oh, oh, oh! >> larry: this is becoming violent. there is pushing and shoving going on. i have never seen anything like this. >> larry: this is reaching a boiling point. which isn't shocking since, we all know the trump campaign is being run by ghost of george wallace and a toddler with a poopy diaper. (laughter) true fact, true fact. and truthfully, trump's fun-size hands aren't entirely clean here. >> i love the old days. you know what they used to do to guys like that when they were in a place like this? they'd be carried out on a stretcher, folks." he was hitting people and the
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audience hit back, and that's what we need a little bit more of. if you see somebody getting ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of them, would you?" (audience reacts) >> larry: so here's where we disagree, trump. you say tomato, i say "no, what the (bleep) are you talking about?!" (cheers and applause) (bleep) what do you mean knock the crap out of him? (applause) so trump is clearly inciting this violence. but the man who takes credit for everything can't seem to take credit for this. >> do you accept any responsibility whatsoever for the escalated tension that takes place at your rallies?" >> they weren't really protesters, they were disrupters, they were like professionals. they had bernie sanders signs all over the place and made by bernie sanders people. i mean these were professionally made signs." >> larry: no, no, no, no... hold on. you're blaming bernie for the violence? bernie is such a pacifist, he won't even apply pressure to get the wrinkles out of his own suits.
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(laughter) all right? what do you mean bernie? how are you going to believe him? that's a tough accusation. bernie, your response? >> donald trump is a pathological liar. >> larry: yes! (cheers and applause) yes! true! you are correct! donald trump is a pathological liar, you guys. it's true. this man has no relationship to the truth. he divorced the truth years ago and has no visitation rights. none. case in point, last week a protester rushed the stage at one of his events and here he is talking to chuck todd about it. >> i want to ask you, you said it was -- you praised the secret service, but then you said the man had ties to isis that turned out to be a hoax." >> i said -- no, no no no. he was he was -- if you look on the internet, if you look into clips --
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people are looking at it very seriously now. but you have to check it before you ask the question. (laughter) >> well i know we have checked it. that's my point, sir. >> larry: even when truth shows up at his door asking to come in from the cold, he treats it like a jehovah's witness. now chuck todd had no luck getting through to this guy, but i'm going to see if i can. so please welcome donald trump. (cheers and applause) >> thank you! i'm truly happy for you that i'm here, larry. (laughter) enjoy the viewers. they're great people. >> larry: all right, donald, look, there have been escalating incidents of violence at your rallies for weeks now. are you responsible for this?
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>> responsible for what? okay? i don't know what you're talking about. i just got off stage at a tremendous rally here in whatever backwater dump of a town i'm in, and i saw nothing of concern. unbelievable. >> larry: hold on! what was that? >> i don't know what you're talking about. (laughter) look, i abhor violence, larry. i've said it over and over. look, i was just talking to someone the other day and i said "you know what's the worst? violence." i've always believed that. >> larry: but it seems like -- >> don't interrupt me! excuse me. excuse me. excuse me. i wasn't done! >> larry: all right. you know what? man, i miss the good ol' days where if someone in a lower class interrupted you, you could legally murder them. >> larry: wait! murder?! i can't believe you just said that!
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(audience reacts) okay! hold on just a second. donald, those two guys are definitely fighting! shouldn't you stop them? >> excuse me. i categorically deny that they're fighting. we call that "piggy back rides for trump." (laughter) that's all they're doing, okay? honest to god, that's all they're doing. >> larry: oh, come on! that's not true! you just made that up. >> how much is bernie sanders paying you to harrass me? >> larry: bernie sanders is not paying me! >> unbelievable. unbelievable. this is the type of stuff our little communist friend from vermont is doing to try to stop trumpmentum. who, by the way, he's doing so bad. he's trying to stop me. >> larry: bernie sanders has nothing to do with this. this is all coming from you, you're inciting all of this horrible behavior! holy (bleep)! (applause) someone's gotta do something! he's attacking him with the
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flag! >> excuse me. >> larry: what! they were getting ready to say the pledge of allegiance >> larry: no! they're not! >> say it with me. i pledge allegiance, to the flag -- to the trump -- >> larry: no, no, no! that's a nazi salute! i'm not going to do that! >> wow, you're just going to see what you want to see. very sad. here fellas, knock yourselves out. (applause) >> larry: okay. i don't know what to say. i don't care what you say, trump, people are hurting each other now. who's going to pay their medical bills? >> mexico. (laughter) believe me... believe me, they'll pay for it. >> larry: you're the worst! stay safe, america. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) ♪ 5-hour energy® presents... why are you so tired?
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(cheers and applause) >> larry: welcome back. as the g.o.p. tears itself apart in this election season, conservatives joined together on friday to pay tribute to their spiritual matriarch -- no, not the patron elephant goddess of the second amendment. i'm talking about former first lady nancy reagan... yet at mrs. reagan's funeral, a different former flotus got in trouble for making this comment about h.i.v. aids. >> it may be hard for your viewers to remember how difficult it was for people to talk about h.i.v. aids back in the 1980s. and because of both president and mrs. reagan, in particular
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mrs. reagan, we started a national conversation, when before, nobody talked about it. >> larry: it may be hard for you to remember, hillary, but ronald reagan didn't give a major speech about hiv/aids until 1987 years after it became a national epidemic. his refusal to talk about aids is one of the most memorable things about the '80s! right behind a young up-and-coming actor's star-making appearance in "the facts of life." mrs. garrett, i've been a police officer for three years, and before that i was a kid. i've heard just about everything. (cheers and applause) >> larry: i look exactly the same, you guys! (cheering) >> larry: hillary's comment caused a quick backlash from supporters in the l.g.b.t. community, and she offered statement an apology more swiftly than she could throw a desk chair at whatever staffer prepared her for this interview. but what will be the political implications of hillary's comment regarding the reagans? here with an in-depth look is our very own grace parra. >> hi, larry! (cheers and applause)
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i'm here in sunny california, where everyone's still talking about this season's hottest party: nancy reagan's funeral. (music) >> larry: no. no no no, grace. i know you like doing these celebrity gossip pieces, but that is totally inappropriate for a funeral. >> oh, right. let me start over. i'm here in sunny california, where everyone's still talking about this season's hottest party: nancy reagan's funeral. (slow music) >> larry: just because the music is slower doesn't make it appropriate! this is the funeral of nancy reagan, a former first lady of the united states. >> but did you know that before they were in the white house, the reagans were hollywood movie stars? >> larry: that doesn't matter! this is a solemn commemoration of somebody who died. >> indeed, larry. which is why we couldn't help but wonder: did america's matriarch rock oscar de la renta for the coffin?
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(music) >> larry: grace, stop. grace! grace! stop it! look! focus! focus for me. focus. i wanted to talk about hillary clinton's comments after she attended the funeral. >> and she wasn't the only person who attended. she was joined by other guests including ralph lauren, melissa rivers and mister t. >> larry: mister t? what does that have to do with hillary's comments? >> i don't know, larry. but i pity the fool who wasn't walking down this black carpet. (music) >> larry: grace! grace! grace, this isn't okay. do you have any opinion about what hillary clinton said about h.i.v. aids or the reagans? >> oh. well, larry, i know that the reagans were good friends with actor rock hudson, who was a victim of h.i.v. aids... >> larry: okay. yes. that's true. >> and i know that weeks before rock hudson died, the reagans ignored his requests for medical help.
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because as a social conservative, president reagan would sooner turn his back on an old friend than acknowledge an epidemic that primarily affected homosexual men in america. (slow song) >> larry: grace, did we really need the "nightly nightly" after that? >> but i did the sad one! >> larry: true, true. sounds like you know more about the reagans in the '80s than i gave you credit for. >> of course, larry. these people were hollywood stars! and if there's one thing grace parra knows, it's hollywood. can i do the happy one? let me do it, larry! >> larry: you can do the happy one. (music) >> larry: alright. grace parra, everybody. we'll be right back. ♪ (cheers and applause)
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(cheers and applause) >> larry: welcome back. i'm here with my panel. first up, nightly show contributor ricky velez (cheers and applause) nightly show contributor mike yard. (cheers and applause) and her new hit series "underground" airs wednesday nights on w.g.n. america, actor jurnee smollett-bell. and for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter "at nightly show" using the hashtag "tonightly." violence has been breaking out over the last week at trump rallies. take a look at the latest example: >> hey! >> larry: right, so we talked about this earlier in the show.
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some say trump incites it and some people blame the protestors, so, who's really to blame for these violent outbursts -- trump, the protestors, the type of people he appeals to, or obama? >> i mean, i think you absolutely have to blame trump. you can't look at his rallies and see him say words like "no, ma'am him out" and if you do "i'll pay his legal fees" and not take responsibility for your words. you're encouraging your supporters to be violent. >> i believe you can only blame trump because you can't blame dumb people. (laughter) >> you can't. these people are dumb. they are sheep. they are sheep. (cheers and applause) >> i agree. wearing camouflage inside. they're dumb people. >> this is america, man. a wall a choices. that man was 72 years old. if you can't control yourself at
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72, kill yourself! you don't have impulse control at that age -- >> larry: as long as you're killing, why don't you start with yourself. >> exactly. he hit that black kid like he was on his bucket list. >> larry: right. (laughter) >> larry: he absolutely was on his bucket list. >> this is not just trump. the republican party i blame fully for this whole thing because they have been pushing this racial rhetoric for years. they have been pushing it, right. >> they have been blaming illegal immigrants... trump is just saying it out loud and bluntly. but they have been blaming minorities forever. >> larry: it's the example of chickens coming home to roost. >> exactly. >> larry: and this is a big chicken roosting party. (applause) it's a big chicken roosting party. >> it's so sad that we as americans have allowed trump to
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get this far. i can't believe we're living in 2016. (applause) >> larry: when you say "allowed it," what does that mean? >> i think long ago he should have been called to drop out of the race. >> larry: but how do you get him to not run in he has the right to run. >> i mean, how do the other g.o.p. candidates allow him to m accountable? >> that's assuming he's responsible for these people. these people are not new racists. they didn't just decide they hated -- (applause) they have been around! he's the leader now. >> he just highlighted it. that's what he did. >> larry: trump showed up at a klan rally and said i got a cross, matches and gas, but i gotta go. >> he's the dude in the high school that pulls you assayed and say, malik, that thing they have been saying about your mother, i don't know how you're going to let that slide. i mean, if that was me...
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>> yeah, he's bully! (applause) >> larry: do you think trump wants people to fight at his rallies? >> absolutely! >> larry: do you think he wants that to happen? >> pe's a bully! he's a reality tv star! that's what they do! (applause) >> larry: that is absolutely true. >> every moment he loves that the news has him up there every day saying crazy (bleep). he loves this, except when they come after him. did you see him wearing that secret service agent? (laughter) like, he's gonna pun after man with a waib baby on his chest! (laughter) >> larry: some said the protesters are trying to shut down the rally, stop the rallies from happening. do you think that's fair? >> honestly. >> larry: they say it infringes upon first amendment. >> it's their right to protest, it's their right to organize. >> i agree (cheers and applause) >> yeah, i think you have the
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right to protest. i don't think you have the right to shut down anybody's ability to speak. free speech is one of our basic rights. >> larry: but if it happens at a trump rally -- >> i don't care. i want him to talk. as i tweeted, i am taking pictures of his television appearances and rallies because i'm making a racist collage. (laughter) >> larry: are you going to show your grandchildren? >> i'm going to show people what america shouldn't look like. (cheers and applause) >> larry: here is the things journalist ashley parker in a "new york times" article wrote about the type he people she met followintrump around. she said "the 71-year-old woman i talked to before the new orleans rally in told me nothing short of trump shooting my daughter in the street and my grandchildren would dissuade her from voting for him." >> well, i think that statement says a lot more about how she feels about her daughter.
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(laughter) >> you don't know their problems, larry. >> larry: yeah, i know. i mean, i don't know. i think it's definitely a sad time in america. you think about even his line where he says "make america great again," i kind of want to know what he means by that. >> larry: he means make america 1955 again. >> i think so. i mean, look, i love where i was born, but i would never want to go back to where my grandmother or great grandmother lived. >> larry: no. that time was not actually good for any of us sitting at this table. >> think about the guy that punched that kid. he's 78, right? so he was -- >> larry: 1955 was awesome for him. >> yeah. that was the (bleep) town fair, man. (applause) >> larry: all right. we'll be right back right after this. >> if you live in the new york city area or planning an event, grab free tickets to "the nightly show." what's the most awarded car company of the year?
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(cheers and applause) thanks for watching. don't forget to ask me your keep it 100 questions on twitter. goodnightly everyone! (cheers and applause) ♪
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from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is... -♪ -(cheering, applause) welcome to the daily show. we're back. it's a monday and we're back. thank you so much, everybody. thank you so much. i'm trevor noah. my guest tonight, prison reform advocate and author of writing my wrongs, shaka senghor is joining us, people. (cheering, applause) but to start today's show, let's, uh, let's talk about the vinyl sofa stuffed with racist refrigerator poetry. i'm talking about donald trump. (laughter) with his ever-increasing lead in the republican primaries, a lot of people have started asking the question: how dangerous would a donald trump presidency be?
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newsman: the economist magazine's intelligence unit has now listed a trump presidency among its top ten threats to the world. newsman: in its updated global risk assessment, a trump presidency would be as dangerous to the world economy as the possibility of islamic terrorists destabilizing global growth. goddamn! (laughter) trump is as dangerous as terrorism? what a slap in the face to isis. -(laughter) -50,000 fighters and one man is the same level of world threat. yeah, like maybe one day we'll be flying and say, "i don't want to alarm anybody, "but i think i saw a trump on the plane. (laughter) how do i know? because he was wearing that thing on his head." -(laughter) -it's his hair. come on, it's his hair. so, uh, this highlights the question i think many of us have been asking: how did donald trump go from being the guy who fake-fired people on tv to the orange-tinted terror?


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