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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  June 7, 2017 1:40am-2:11am PDT

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- let the final battle begin! - [bleep], yahtzee again? seriously? - what did i tell you? that's a large flush already! you don't have a chance in here, user! your pathetic little-- - yahtzee. - what? - yahtzee. sixes. - no! it can't be! - yahtzee! - no! aah! - oh...[panting]
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- oh, thank god. - hey, stan, my computer says we're not friends anymore? - my facebook profile went rogue, dad. had to go into the circuitry and do battle with it. i sent all my friends somewhere else. - oh, okay. so we're--we're not friends then? - [bleep] off, dad. [beep] - ahhhh. ahhahahahahahaha! >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪
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>> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! thank you so much for tuning in! i'm trevor noah! our guest today from "the daily beast" john avalon is here, everybody! he's here to talk about his new book about george washington who would be turning in is h grave if he knew what was happening right now. but first, let's get into some big news. >> the federal intelligence contractor arrested following the leak of a classified report on russian election hacking. 25-year-old realty reality winner. >> winner is accused of leaking this top secret national security agency document providing the most detailed account yet of russian efforts to hack the november election. >> now, the justice department alleges that winner printed out the classified document dated may 5 and admitted to removing, retaining and mailing it. the government also says it found evidence that winner had email contact with the news outlet from her work computer. >> trevor: oh, okay, look, if you're confused right now, it's because you were paying
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attention. leep try to explain. what happened was someone leaked top-secret information about russia to the press and that person's name is reality winner. ( laughter ) their real name is reality winner. and, i mean, how is this real life? ( laughter ) you know what it feels like right now? it feels like god had a mid life crisis and quit his day job to make a web series. that's what this feels like. trump has to be one of the luckiest people around because this new leak shows that the russian military actually tried to gain access into the florida voter system, but we can't concentrate on those facts because reality winner -- ( laughter ) can i just say, the lasting effects of this leak are clear -- white people, you can no longer make fun of black people's names. ( laughter ) ( applause ) pros it'. >> trevor: it's done. black people gave you a pass on
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reince and wolf, but now you're just pulling nouns out of the dictionary. ( laughter ) this is my son temperature. temperature, say hello. go play with perception. hi, perception! ( laughter ) no more. but let's move on to the real reality winner. this week is a particularly important week for president trump. how? it's an important week for everyone. i know you can feel the electricity in the air because this week is -- >> get ready to witness the greatest show on earth. >> all eyes on james comey. >> count down to comby. >> giant washington event.week. >> blockbuster stuff. >> fireworks. >> you can pretty much smell the popcorn cooking in microwaves across the country. >> trevor: popcorn or trump's hair. but we're excited. it's comey week for everyone in america who doesn't work in the trump administration because they're on a different calendar. >> the president is trying to get back to his agenda with what
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he's calling "infrastructure week." ( laughter ) >> trevor: i feel so bad for trump. no, because they're trying to distract from the most exciting political story, but they're doing it with the most boring topic of all. "infrastructure week," really? it's like if a tv channel said how can we steal viewers from "shark week." oh, i know "barnacle week." yeah, they're like warts for the ocean. oh, yeah. ( laughter ) but the truth, is as boring as infrastructure is, it is important, right, because without roads and bridges, how are we going to get comey to the senate to testify? because it's comey week. until then, it's "infrastructure week." >> president trump today announcing his plans to privatize the nation's air traffic control system. >> we will launch this air travel revolution by modernizing the outdated system of air
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traffic control. at its core, our new plan will dramatically improve america's air traffic control system but turning it over to a self-financing, nonprofit organization. >> trevor: i'm sorry, but who needed this? like, which one of trump's voters was, like, too many times we have been told to circle around instead of landing! and i will stand e-mails and pussy grabbing as long as somebody tells me what we're doing about air traffic control! ( laughter ) actually -- actually, this might be the one area where donald trump is qualified. think about it, he knows planes, he's the color of a safety vest, and he's also got over the top hand gestures. he would be the perfect air traffic controller. the runway is clear! bring it in to land! nice and slow! right into the hudson news! good job, everybody! good job! hold it right there!
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hold it right there. good job. ( applause ) look, i'll admit, i'm just hating. the truth is, america's air traffic control system is a legitimate issue. it's antiquated and slows the flying experience down. now, if you improve it, you will speed everything in flying up, right? so you can get your beading -- beating on united much quicker, which is good. air traffic control does need an upgrade. yesterday at the tiniest desk in the world donald trump got it done. >> today we're proposing to take american air travel into the future, finally. finally. ( applause )
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>> trevor: hate him or love him, you've got to admit donald trump looks really cute when he signs things at that tiny portable desk. it's like a little kid that's fighting hard -- ( laughter ) it actually looks like one of those high chairs they give kids at restaurants. i'm just waiting for him to flip over the page and do the little mermaid maze on the back. i like this. so many walls. so many walls. my pen is like a mexican! ( laughter ) ( applause ) it looks like fun! but i have to admit, i have to admit, when i saw that signing, i was, like, wow, donald trump does get some things done -- stroke of a pen, boom! decisive. except then i learned that that executive order was more than executive suggestion. >> in a ceremony the sitting of bill signing the president went on to sign not a bill but a memo to congress outlining his
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proposal which has no binding effect. >> knots has been anded to congress as part of a package. this is a rollout of the president's priorities and the principles he wants to push when it comes to infrastructure. >> trevor: what the hell, people? he just wrote a to-do list and signed it like it was all done? he really is a tv president. i don't know if you've noticed. this is a recurring theme that's the weird part of trump's presidency. he loves the performance of doing things but a lot of the time, nothing is being done. essentially, donald trump wants to be president 'burbs he doesn't want to do president. all right? because this infrastructure deal is a great example. just listen to what he said back in april. >> we'll do infrastructure very quickly. we've got the plan largely completed and will be filing over the next two or three weeks maybe sooner. >> trevor: a month ago donald trump said the infrastructure plan was largely completed but then just this weekend the director of his national economic council admitted that there is no plan.
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right? he admitted there's no plan. so there's nothing they can implement. donald trump is like a creepy boyfriend touching his girlfriend's belly going, yeah, we're expecting a boy. we are. and his girlfriend is, like, we've never even had sex! ( laughter ) and like most of trump's deals, when you start to read the fine print, you realize it's not what it seems. you remember the giant saudi arms deal last month? yes? the president was braggingo on twitter -- bringing hundreds of billions of dollars back from the u.s.a. from the middle east which will mean jobs, jobs, jobs! ( laughter ) now, that tweet makes it sound like trump completed $110 billion deal, got the cash and rolled back to america like a presidential lil' jon -- just like -- ♪ ♪ everybody ♪ jobs jobs jobs jobs ♪ jobs jobs jobs that's what it sounds like. ( applause ) i was even excited. this was great news.
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except it turns out that there was no actual deal. there was no deal that was signed. it was people saying, maybe we would like to do deals in the future. so trump's infrastructure plan doesn't exist. the saudi deal is not actually a deal. how about the thing he cares most about? tax cuts. >> our tax bill is moving along in congress, and i believe it's doing very well. i think a lot of people have wie very pleasantly surprised. >> president trump may be getting ahead of himself. there is no tax bill moving along in congress. ( applause ) ( laughter ) >> trevor: i wish all news anchors were black women because they will call you out on your (bleep). they will call you out on your (bleep). ( cheers and applause ) so much of what trump says has happened hasn't happened at all.
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and we shouldn't be surprised because, essentially, this was always his move. >> trump finally explained how he plans to separate his business empire from his presidential powers. >> these papers are just some of the many documents that i've signed turning over complete and total control. >> no reporters were allowed to actually open those files or look in them and there were no markings on the folders to identify what they actually were. >> trump agreed his club would make a $100,000 donation to a veterans charity. but "the washington post" discovered trump never donated money to those charities at all. >> in 198 2 hoe bought a prize piece of real estate along the wordwalk. he invited executives to the site and made it look like construction was well under way. >> i had every truck available in the area moving on that site. they saw that action were immediately impressed and we made a deal right then on the spot. >> trevor: there you have it, trump in his own words proud of
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the con, and i wouldn't be shocked if in eight years he's saying the same thing about the u.s. you should have seen america, they bought it hook, line and sinker all i did was sign some (bleep) and they were in. i don't know about you but i think it's time we take action and crack down on these phony claims. do you guys want to do something about this? ( cheering ) me, too. you know why? because i've also got a tiny desk, people! ( cheering ) i've got a tiny desk for doing stuff, and no more lies! no more lies! ( cheers and applause ) done! done! it's done! no more lies! we'll be right back! signed it! done! tiny desk!
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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! as you all know, london has been in the news this past week and to find out more about how actual brits feel, we're joined once again by our u.k. contributor gina yashere, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) >> hello, trevor. >> trevor: gina, i have to ask, after last week's attacks in london, how are you doling with everything? >> well, look, all of my family are in london so when it happened, i was scared. but the best way us brits know how to do about frism is to not
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let us change our way of life which is driving on the proper side of the road and making tv shows for america to steal. ( applause ) >> trevor: but you know what? i saw a lot of british people saying we're r we're moving on and living our lives. how are you able to move on so quickly? the cliche is british people don't have emotions. >> it's not we don't have emotions. we have all three -- happy, sad and drunk. ( laughter ) >> trevor: that's not the only news coming out of britain. something really big over there is you guys also are having an election on thursday which is confusing because didn't the u.k. just have an election two years ago? >> yes, and now we're having a new one. because we can do that. sound good, right? yeah? wouldn't you like that, america? yeah? yeah? yeah? ( applause ) but you can't! maybe you guys should have thought about this before you
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threw all of our tea in the harbor! you destroyed our tea and our language. it's not aluminum! it's -- (pronouncing aluminum). >> trevor: let me get this straight. you get to have another elections but how did it happen? >> our prime minister terese terese called the election in hopes she can win a bigger majority to help push through her policies. >> trevor: she probably thinks she's going to win in a landslide. >> she did but she's getting a run for her money from the labor party leader jeremy corbyn. >> trevor: he doesn't look like a politician. >> no, he looks like a sad sea captain. ( laughter ) but he's become very popular. he supports free universities, continued free healthcare, young people love him and he hangs out with rappers. >> trevor: oh, snap, he's like a british bernie!
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( laughter ) so, gina, who are you pulling for? >> that's easy, i like corbyn because another thing he believes in is not using our taxes to pay for the royal family. i don't mind the royals, but who wouldn't want to see the queen work in a kfc? ( laughter ) would one like fries with that? >> trevor: this corbyn guy sounds exciting. do you real will you think he can win this? >> no. like you said, he's the british bernie. >> trevor: gina yashere, everyone. we'll be right back! it's so sad! it's so sad! it's what busch is known for. what are you known for? i'm cool under pressure. what is that? a fish hook? (chuckling) golly! [sfx: buschhhhh]
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>> great to be here. >> trevor: let's get straight into the book because there are few books that have been written around this time that connect completely with an idea of what's happening in america. not talking about what's actually happening but the idea. george washington's farewell address. that's what this book is about. why was this address so important? >> this was the most famous civic scripture in american history for our first 150 years. ates memo written by the first founding father as he is voluntarily leaving power, something we take for granted but was a revolutionary act then, and he decided to write about the forces he felt could destroy our country, hyperpartisanship, excessive debt and foreign wars. we are playing with fire and george washington called it? let's take a step back to the people take for granted that leaders leave power, right? i remember in south africa with nelson mandela, he could have
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easily stayed. he was super friendly, everyone loved him and if he was, like, ah, i'm not going, people would be like, yeah, we don't mind. ( laughter ) but it takes a certain type of leader to notice and understand power is corrupting, all power, and comes with a certain sense of responsibility. >> that's right. >> trevor: when you look at this farewell, why do you think george washington chose to leave? do you think it's because he didn't trust himself or leaders who would follow him? >> a great question and a little bit of both. he was incredibly insecure about his own ability to serve as a statesman. he knew he could be a general but he was not the most brilliant of all the founding fathers but a deeply wise man. remember, all other revolutions went the same way. the general who kicked out the tyrant became a tyrant himself. so people thought that might happen but he was consciously setting an example by stepping down from power. >> trevor: one of the things george washington spoke about dominantly was
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hyperpartisanship. >> yeah. >> trevor: house of it that he was essentially a nonpartisan president? >> he was an independent. he was not a matter of party as principle. the founding fathers wrote our constitution with the idea of history in mind. they were studying how ancient greeks and roman republics failed. the lesson was a party would push a narrow self-interested agenda that would block the national interest and washington worried the parties would create a deadlocked and dysfunction del mock si and citizens would be so frustrated by the inefficiency and ineffectiveness is it could open the door to a demagogue with authoritarian ambitions. that's why we need to keep history in mind. perspective is the least thing we have in politics but the founding fathers was warning us about forces we are playing with and we need to be wide eyed about that. >> trevor: that has happened. so there anything that people can look to in the speech that
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gives us some sort of indication of how to combat this? is there any way of going back? if george washington time traveled to america now, america in 2017, do you think -- >> he would be freaked out. >> trevor: -- do you think he would be able to survive america's current political climate? >> i think he really tried to resist the rise of political parties, but he was a man in psychic pain as he wrote this because he saw his two most talented surrogate sons alexander hamilton and jefferson scheme to create political parties. he was trying to resist it. re-- he realized the growth of parties was inevitable but we needed to hold them in check and we have failed to do that. the core wisdom washington had which is something we could remember is that our independence as a nation is inaccept prabble from our interdependence as a people. there is always people trying to sell snake oil saying i'm a
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better representative because i want to divide us against them but that's always been the demagogue' calling card. washington called those folks pretend patriots because they'd try to rise to power on due vision rather than unity. that's one of the fundamental fault line in politics we need to confront clear eyed. >> trevor: you just made me want to go back to the time of george washington. i wouldn't want to say but i want to see it for myself. >> got work to do. a new generation. >> trevor: "washington's farewell" is available now. john avalon, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) cheers )
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>> trevor: that's our show for tonight. thank you for tuning in. before we go -- before we go, if you're in new york city next week, here's something you will want to check out. the daily "the daily show" presents the "donald j. trump presidential twitter library," a free exhibit that opens friday june 16 through sunday june 18. go online for details. next week


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