Skip to main content

tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  April 24, 2018 11:00pm-11:31pm PDT

11:00 pm
>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everyone! thank you so much for tuning in! i'm trevor noah. my guest tonight, columnist for the "l.a. times" and the "national review," jonah goldberg is joining us. thank you so much for coming out. before we get into the news,
11:01 pm
let's catch up on the developing story. the situation at starbucks, we heard multiple stories of people getting cops called on them for being black in public but yesterday's might be the craziest. >> five women claim they are victims of racial profiling after they say the owners of a pennsylvania golf course asked the group to leave the course. the women say workers at gran grandview golf club kicked them out halfway through the game when the workers said the women were playing too slow. >> police confirm authorities were called to the course saturday afternoon and at that point cell phone video confirms the club owners were telling the women to leave. >> remove yourselves from our premises in the next five minutes, please, because the authorities have been called. >> trevor: this is insane. these dudes were calling the cops because a group of black women were playing golf too slow? black people can't win. if you advance you're a threat, run away you're suspicious, and if you take your time, that's
11:02 pm
what golf is for! the manager says, unacceptable! i demand to see someone who might shoot you, come on! in this case, the police handled it correctly. no arrests. i think the police showed up because they didn't believe five black women played golf. marty, bring the camera! this is insane! i'm glad nothing happened to the women but i would like to hear the sportscast for that. the announcer is -- (softly) okay, they're teeing up, a race war is breaking out on the fourth hole. the douche bags never have seen a black person before. cops are showing up. very nice, very nice. someone we wish would get kicked off the golf course, president trump. force once he's in the white house and doing french kissing. >> all highs on the high-stakes meetings between the french and american presidents.
11:03 pm
>> french president emmanuel macron arrived in america for the first visit with mr. trump. >> mr. trump rolling out the red carpet, a military welcome on the south lawn, a series of meetings, joint press conference and elaborate state dinner. >> trevor: yeah! president trump's first state dinner. if you don't know the state dinner is basically a full formal evening. the president hosts the event at the white house and it's in honor of a visiting foreign leader. it's very lavish. it's usually black tie, although in trump's case i guess it might be just be long tie. it's not an accident the french president is getting to be mr. trump's first dinner guest. in the beginning, when others seemed to clash, macron is the bell to mr. trump's beast. >> macron is dubbed the trump whisperer because of their close diplomatic relationship. >> it was macron who convinced
11:04 pm
the president to take action inside syria. >> macron say he and mr. trump have a special relation. >> mr. president, they're all saying what a great relationship we have and they're actually correct. it's not fake news. finally, it's not fake news. >> trevor: look how excited little donny is, man. doesn't he look like he just invited his best friend over for a sleepover? it's actually cute. yeah. it really is. they might even play truth or dare. okay, my turn, dare me to sleep with your wife. uh, how about we do truth instead. okay, truth, i want to sleep with your wife. ( laughter ) all this fun aside. macron didn't fly across the atlantic to hang out. he came to washington on a very specific mission to stop trump from boing doing something dumb. >> macron will spend two days with mr. trump on what some called operation save the iran deal. >> there is no starting over once the iran deal is scrapped, it becomes virtually impossible to get iran back to the table
11:05 pm
and get all the other parties back to the table. >> trevor: you see, that would be bad news. this deal is the only reason that iran is not advancing its nuclear program. if america backs out, it will even further destabilize the middle east. so this is really sticky for macron because he has to try to save the iran deal while also making it seem like trump is getting what he wants. it's like america is real drunk now and macron is its wing man. america is just, like, i'm going to kick iran's ass! yeah you kid, man, you did, you already kicked ass, buddy, you kicked ass, yo you goddam righti did! wuah! now, getting donald trump to do the right thing is virtually impossible. fortunately, macron seems to be the recipe for handling trump because, you see, before macron became president, he was an investment banker, so he's an expert in dealing with egotistical rich people.
11:06 pm
watch how he plays along as trump shows off his amazing technology. >> president trump gave macron a personal tour of the oval office pointing out his phone to mrs. macron. >> this is where i speak to your husband. i speak especially on this one. i'll show you. right here. >> this one? >> this one. that's supposed to be the latest and the greatest but who knows. >> this one is the stir one? >> that's secure. this isn't. ( laughter ) >> trevor: macron is acting the way an adult does when a kid shows them around their play room. he's, like, wow, donald, the phone. can you talk to people on it? he's like, uh-huh! and you remember all the numbers? >> neno, general kelly pushes tm for me. donald, do you go potty like a big boy? yeah by my friends in russia potty on the beds!
11:07 pm
( laughter ) the ultimate test is how you handle it when he publicly hue mill yates you. >> it's a great honor but we do have a very special relationship. in fact, i'll get that little piece of dandruff off. little piece. we have to make him perfect. he is perfect. it is really great to be with you and you are a special friend. thank you. >> thank you. >> trevor: yo! this dude just picked something white off macron's soldier and announced it is dandruff to the cameras, he's like, look, look, i found a dandruff. i found it. and credit to macron, he just went with it. that's diplomacy because if i was macron i would have clapped back. i would have been, excuse me, i have no dandruff, no, donald, you are a human dandruff! you are the flakes on the scalp of society, i shampoo you from my life! ( laughter ) but he handled it perfectly,
11:08 pm
every moment macron handled perfectly, whether giving speeches or playing outside, you could feel macron was connecting with trump. and we all know trump is not the sentimental type but clearly macron made him feel the way he never felt before, human. ( applause ) >> thank you. thank you. >> i like him a lot. that's my prediction. it's only a prediction. >> thank you. thank you very much. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i knowates cliche, but that's a bromance. that's more affection than he's ever shown melania. she doesn't care because she knows where those hands have been, but still -- ( audience reacts ) now, the big question is will macron's visit actually help change america's policy toward iran? maybe, maybe not. but we have definitely seen a slight change in policy in trump's heart. yeah. which is why we've decided to honor this beautiful
11:09 pm
relationship through magic of le cinema. ♪ ( laughter ) >> trevor: we shall be very soon back! ( cheers and applause )
11:10 pm
11:11 pm
we're almost there. she's coming! stall. my video call's lagging. mom? surprise! surprise! hold up. hold up. we got a laggy video call here.
11:12 pm
you need verizon, the best network for streaming. here. trade ya. okay, people, that's a reset. you want us to surprise her again? yeah, but like in a fun way. like this. all my favorite friends are here. there's tony and diane. like something like that. (avo) get $300 off the samsung galaxy s9+ with no trade-in required. because unlimited is only as good as the network it's on. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." our correspondents are often at their best when covering people who stand up for themselves in the face of injustice. michael kosta brings us one such story. >> this year has been full of strikes and now one profession is jumping on the strike train due to claims of mistreatment in the workplace. that's right, i'm talking about
11:13 pm
strippers, and their movement is making national headlines. here in new york there is an additional injustice. >> new york strippers say they're sick and tired of bartenders stealing their money. >> even kardib spit fire. >> if there's a bad-ass stripper, they still want to throw money at the bartender because it's the trend. >> i made it clear i wanted nothing to do with this story but trevor insisted and i'm a professional so, for the first time in decades, i stepped into a strip club. >> michael! >> michael kos theta! >> i think they have me mistaken for some other white guy. i've never been here before in my life. hi, tangerine, how you doing? how's your mom? one of the problems is the bartenders are literally between the customers and the stage so the dancers claim they are not getting their money. i went to find one of the labor leaders of the strike stripper giselle marie.
11:14 pm
>> the problem we're having in new york is the bartenders are dancing behind the bar, they're talking to the customers, tell them not to tip the dancers, and our money is getting stolen from us half the time as well. >> that's not the truth. if my customer is throwing money on me how can you say i'm stealing it? >> she believes the strike is uncalled for and self-serving. >> the customers come see the bartenders more than the dancers. >> the strippers should be the first priority but they're basing it on the bartenders. if that's the case, they may as well may a house fee with us. >> sounds like a tripper versus bartender. >> it's stripper versus club. it's what the club is allowing the bartenders to go. >> if i save a (bleep) what people think i wouldn't do this, i would be a priest. >> mike, owner and manager of mr. wedge. are you team stripper or star tender. >> i am team stripper because
11:15 pm
without the club they wouldn't have jobs. >> maybe the strippers don't have it that bad. >> you get admired, get to dance, shourd with cash. are you kid meg? >> listen, it's a mental and a physical job. >> to prove her point jazel and her co-worker thunder showed me some moves. >> right and up. >> do a little twerking. >> am i thinking of the money? >> can you do the splits? >> i can barely stand in these things. >> pop that booty! >> it's a little tougher than i thought. >> yeah. >> i'm no experts but if the strippers are blocked by the bartenders, then what if you just separate the bar from the stage. right? >> it's more theatrical that way. this is more intimate. >> when the money just gets thrown in the air how the (bleep) are you supposed to figure out whose money that is? >> it's like raindrops, if you get wet, you get wet.
11:16 pm
>> seemed like everyone was getting wet while the strippers were left high and dry. >> how do you determine whose dollar it is? >> once it falls on the floor, that's the bartender's money. >> let's say i throw a dollar at you, bounces off your chest, lands on a bus boy, bus boy slips, throws a tray in the air, dollar is in the air, lands on the strip club stage -- >> that's so much going on. >> it's complicated. this is getting exhausting. jazel, can you join, please? the only way to move forward was to have a ma cure, adult conversation. what needs to happen is you two need to make up and we need to figure this out. >> well, one of the issues is the uniform that the bartenders should be wearing. i feel they should be more covered up. >> more clothes. >> i don't like working and wearing pants. >> bottom line, the strippers deserve justice and i have solutions, like using church donation baskets to reach the
11:17 pm
high rolls. for a more aggressive approach, the claw. and my sexiest solution, a rumba attached to a stripper pole. this is a job like any other. as mike d puts it. >> doesn't say the hottest bartender or coolth coolths mant says cool. >> mike's right, when shooting your wad let's make sure hands. >> trevor: michael kosta, everybody. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )
11:18 pm
bronze and gold and new and tasty. cut to close-up of the crispy colonel. that's the name of the sandwich, because it's extra crispy like me. get it in a $5 fill up at kfc. breathe freely fast wmy congestion's gone.
11:19 pm
i can breathe again! i can breathe again! vicks sinex... breathe on. we can now simulate the exact anatomyh care, of a patient's brain before surgery. if we can do that, imagine what we can do for seizures. and if we can fix damaged heart valves without open heart surgery, imagine what we can do for an irregular heartbeat, even high blood pressure. if we can use analyze each patient's breast cancer to personalize their treatment, imagine what we can do for the conditions that affect us all. imagine what we can do for you.
11:20 pm
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ we are bold. if yoyou have a beard.our face, oooohhh... if you add layers to a beard, you're a werewolf. yes please. if your face needs layers, so does your chocolate bar. get layers of crunchy and creamy. hershey's cookie layer crunch. get layered. ♪ ♪ oh -- you're bad enough to me ♪ ♪ bad enough that we ♪ always have something to get over ♪ ♪ oh -- but when the night is deep ♪ ♪ you find me in the streets ♪ asking me - to come over ♪
11:21 pm
>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a senior editor at "national review," syndicated columnist, american enterprise institute scholar, and best-selling author, whose latest book is called "suicide of the west: how the rebirth of tribalism, populism, nationalism, and identity politics is destroying american democracy." please welcome jonah goldberg. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> i thought about pawing you up, sort of a macron versus trump thing and get all handsy. >> trevor: we should have done a hand shake into a kiss into a moment into a thing. >> and i could have whispered i like your musk which is what i think he was saying at one point. >> trevor: feet like it. trump is really into him which
11:22 pm
is something good for america, yes? >> yeah. maybe. you know, it's good for america to get along with our 200-year-old allies, that's good, but if he's only doing it because he's sucking up to him, less good. it should be getting along because of mutual interests and values and they reflect that. it shouldn't be because the leader of france says, not only are you a handsome man you're a powerful man. right? it shouldn't be just sucking up, it should be more. >> trevor: i feel it should be just that, yeah. welcome to the show. >> great to be here. >> trevor: you've written quite a book here, "suicide of the west." you talk about nationalism, tribalism, populism, all the things you believe are leading to the decline of america. when you talk about the decline of america, are you specifically referring to capitalism and the way it's made america thrive over the past 300 years? >> in part. i call this thing the miracle,
11:23 pm
right? but the miracle isn't just capitalism, it's also natural rights, civil rights, free speech, all of the things we associate with the bill of rights, the idea that the individual sovereign that we are captains of ourselves, citizens, not subjects, that government works for us, we don't work for the government. these are all unbelievably new ideas in the history of humanity. humanity split off from the neanderthals and for most of human existence we are greedy, violent creatures and our human nature hasn't changed. we are the same. what has changed are our values, norms, institutions and if you don't have gratitude for them and try to protect them, they will go away. >> trevor: it's interesting you say that. if we don't have gratitude and try to protect them, because that seems like an argument many people in america will use for
11:24 pm
one group or another. what's interesting in this book is you refer to both sides of the political spectrum doing similar damage, causing damage to that idea in the same way. you write for "national review" as a conservative writer but at the same time you are not a fan of trump. >> i think that's fair. >> trevor: so you are saying that populism both on trump's side and on the left are -- there's a danger of that hurting america? how? >> that's right. there's nothing wrong with a little populism, a little nationalism. it's like a pinch of salt brings out the flavor in the meal. too much ruins the meal and way too much is literally poisonous, right? all poisons are determined by the dosage. this drives me crazy about my own side these days where i talk to young conservative activist college students and say by all means fight political correctness if that's what you want to do. >> trevor: right. >> but just because being rude
11:25 pm
is politically incorrect doesn't mean being rude is good. and so much of what's happening i think on both sides of the political aisle is this idea you can do almost any horrible thing if it annoys the right people. >> trevor: right. >> and that's a huge part of the defense of donald trump, which i just find intellectually bankrupt, which is he's got the right enemies or he's making the right people upset. well, you have to look at what is actually upsetting them. >> trevor: right. >> and some of the things that upset liberals and leftists i can agree with and support, but some of the other things are crassness, rudeness for its own sake, and i don't know see why i should defend that just because he's on "my team" as it were. >> trevor: one of the big ideas you share in the book is america needs to focus on less identity politics on both sides and more on merit because merit is how capitalism thrives. merit is what moves a society forward. when you say that, though, do you think sometimes a statement
11:26 pm
like that ignores the fact that some people's merit is overlooked because of identity politics? >> yeah. look, i am not saying that you can't -- first of all,ip not saying there isn't discrimination out there. obviously, there is. what i'm saying is one of the great and glorious things, and barack obama was very eloquent about this, about this country is not that america -- the founding fathers were hypocrites when they started this country, they were. the founding fathers wrote a promissory to people that all men including black men are equal, it's the unfolding of that story that matters. the core values -- all civilization is the story we tell ourselves about ourselves and one of the reason martin luther king was so persuasive was he was appealing to the best ideals of white america and saying you should take people as you find them, and so a little identity bricks just like a little nationalism in terms of ethnic pride and solidarity is fine. when you start reducing whole categories of people to an
11:27 pm
abstraction and say all i need to know about you is the color of your skin, that's when you get into a problem. >> trevor: you start the conversation. thank you for being on the show. >> thank you very much. >> trevor: "suicide of the west" is available now. jonah goldberg, everybody. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ you're simply the best. ♪ better than all the rest ♪ applebee's new bigger bolder grill combos. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. with the extra third rowr... of seats. they think it's theirs. look at them, they have no idea!
11:28 pm
it's not theirs. it's mine. mine. mine. mine. the new lexus rx 350l with three rows for seven passengers. are you excited about your baby sister coming? experience space for the unexpected with the rx l, part of the rx family. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. now comes in a pocket pack. i can take it anywhere. to the shoe store! ♪break through. ♪break through.
11:29 pm
i'm shree bose and i'm a medical student. i was fifteen and my grandfather passed away of cancer. i wanted to start doing cancer research. i think science can be an incredible force for good. this windows 10 pc is great. it's really cool to have these 3d visualizations. you can see like the cells membrane.
11:30 pm
half of science is about convincing the world that what you're working on matters. i want to be making the discoveries that help people live better lives. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: that's our show for tonight. stay tuned "the opposition" with jordan klepper is next. now here it is... your moment of zen. ♪ ( suspenseful music )
11:31 pm
( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jordan: shit. let me try that again. ♪ ♪ ( laughter ) >> no collusion. ( laughter ) they're making aliens! >> no collusion. >> no


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on