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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  June 6, 2018 1:40am-2:10am PDT

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the ipad already has a filter that limits your usage. it's called thbatter okay? and that whole 32 people on facetime? what is that? i feel like somehow it's going to turn into me with 31 screens of my mom, just my mom going like, "i don't understand!" and i'll be like, stop calling me on every line!" ( laughter ) like, why would apple want facetime to support 32 people? that's just pressuring me to get 30 more friends. it's ununnecessary. no, you tell me, who the hell has that many friends, huh? apple is just inventing features to make you feel bad about yourself. that's all we're doing. their next featureprobably going to be a penis measuring app that starts at nine inches. look at that. i can't use it. you know what's weird about this whole thing is that apple says they want to help us use the phone less, but then they're enda features to make us want to use the phone more. yeah, it's like a.a. trying to boost membership by agenda an open bar. they're like, "come on in, come on in." but let's move on.
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because for the 500tth consecutive day of the trump presid is drama coming othis administration. after the super bowl, it is customary for the winning team to visit the white house, you know, how the same way in england how the to arm wrestle the queen. she wins every time. that's why she's still the queen. well, anyways, this year, most of the super bowl champion philadelphia eagles said they would not be visiting president trump, and so the president replied, "i broke up with you first." >> instead of being stood up, president trump is backing out. he disinvited the philadelphia eagles from visiting the white house today after reports fewer than 10 players plan to attend the ceremony celebrating their super bowl victory. the president tweeting, "unfortunately, only a small number of players decided to come, and we canceled the event." >> trevor: huh, that's weird. trump is cancelling event of pei that must be a new policy, huh... ( laughter ) can we-- can we just acknowledge how weird it is that under
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trump, no one wants to visit the white house anymore. the golden state warriors wouldn't go last year. the eagles won't go this year. in fact, the cleveland browns released a statement saying the only reason they've never won the super bowl is because they don't want to meet trump. yeah, apparently they're not losing. they are #resisting. ( laughter ) it's gotten so bad, that, like, they can't get anyone to visit. i wouldn't be surprised if, like, jared kushner is going to be on the corner trying to get people in. just like, "come on to the white house! ladies get in free!" ( laughter ) and now, if you were the president, and like 40 out of 50 players said that they weren't coming to your party, you would probably be embarrassed, right? or, or, you would come up with a crafty excuse about how those players didn't stand you up. they stood america up. >> donald trump saying, "the eagles disagree with their president because he insists that they proudly stand for the national anthem." adding"the team wanted to send a smaller delegation, but fans deserve better." >> the white house has now rebranded the day as "a celebration of america."
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>> the president invited fans to attend a different celebration, one that he says will "honor our great country and loudly and proudly play the national anthem." >> trevor: he's simple but he's ilant. yeah. think about it, whenever trump is losing an argument, he just grabs the anthem and holds it in front of himself. that's all he does. he holds it in front of himself. "you wouldn't hurt the anthem, would you, would you? it's the anthem." he probably uses the anthem to win arguments all a is probablyt tonight, donald, i'm not in the mood." and donald is like, ♪ oh, say can you see "that doesn't work for me. i'm from slovenia." so instead of holding an eagles the president hosted an anthem party. if you're thinking i've never heard of an anthem par. there's no such thing. still, it featured all your favorite sports stars like mike pence and secretary of the treasury, steve "the mooch" mnuchin. you would think if you invited people over for a patriotism
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party, you would at least know the wordmerica's favorite songs. ♪ from the mountains to the prairies ♪ to the oceans white with foam ♪ god bless america my home, sweet home ♪ >> trevor: ♪ oooohhh... am-am- america ♪ yeah, look, i mean, the song has only been around for 100 years. he hasn't had time to learn the words. don't judge him. and, you know, i'm not going to lie. i'm tired of this whole trump-anthem-kneeling debate. he say's oged that the players disrespect the flag and the anthem, but the truth is last the eagles never even ran that play. >> during the regular season, the postseason, there was never an incident of a philadelphia eagles player getting down in a kneel during the national anthem. >> the eagles were not among the players who kneeled for the national anthem.
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>> trevor: i'm starting to think that president trump might be full of shit. ( laughter ) i'm starting to think that the truth is, we know he cares less about n.f.l. players-- quote, unquote-- disrespecting america than he does about jt kee issue going. because it works for him politically, because trump brag to the owner of the dallas cowboys that, "this is a very winning, strong issue for me. this one lifts me." "it's like the anthem. it's patrick swazey and i'm baby. it lifts me." ( laughter ) but whether or not this issue is a winner for trump in general, i think that this time, he might have messed up, yeah. because you realize the eagles come from pennsylvania, and pennsylvania is a swing state, a swing state that trump only won by about 44,000 votes, which is less than one stadium full of eagles fans. yeah. and now he's picking a fight with those same fans. this is not the group you want to pick a fight with. remember, these are the same
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people that almost burnt down their own city when they were happy. ( laughter ) yeah. these are the fans who commemorated one of the best days of their lives by literally eating horse shit. ( laughter ) and you want to start a fight with them? if i were you, mr. president, i would quit while i was ahead, because between you and the eagles, we all know who's going to come out on top. ( laughter ) we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) [ music: "bygones" by oliver ] totally re-mixed. introducing the all-new volkswagen jetta.
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let's do it. huh? let's do this. t's do this. ok. let's do this. >>let's do it. let's do this! >>let's do it. yeah. yeah! yeah. yeah! yeah! ♪ give your head a mtn dew kickstart ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." as you may know, this month is the muslim holy month of ramadan. and last year, president trump received a lot of criticism when he became the first president in two decades not to host an official ramadan dinner. in response, trump said, "i have no problem with ramadan. i just don't like muslims." but it looks like this year,
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he's changing his tune. >> tomorrow, president trump will host a dinner recognizing the muslim holy month of ramadan. the event was not held last year. the move is a return to white house tradition. so far, a guest list has not been made available. >> trevor: yay! president trump making ramadan great again. for more on this news, we wandered around the building and pulled in the first muslim we saw. han minhaj, every ( cheers and applause ) what's up, hasan. >> what's up, man? >> trevor: so, hasan, the white house ramadan dinner is back on thar officially. how big of a deal is this? >> i mean, it's huge, trevor. ramadan is the month when muslims cleanse themselves by fasting all day. that means no eating, no drinking, no cursing, and definitely no face filters. we know yore not a puppy. no lying during the holy month, okay! ramadan is like lent and yom kippur combined. it's the ultramarathon of sacrifice. so it's nice when the president acknowledges that with a dinner.
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>> trevor: yeah, but, hasan, how does it feel to have donald trump host that dinner? >> i'll be honest, trevor. when i heard the news, i was deeply offended. >> trevor: of course. >> that i wasn't ( laug >> tret, you w invited? f couri do! i meit is going to be a train wreck. ughter ) trump and ramadan. that's like mel gibson hosting a passover seder. ( laughter ) ( applause ) who would wouldn't want to see whatever that is? >> trevor: if you want an innovate, why don't you find another muslim who will be invited and just try to be a plus one. >> just chain migration my way into the dinner? i wish. i don't even know who is going. i scoured the minternet, which is like muslim internet, black twitter. nothing! it is killing me. i just want to just sit there and share some halal k.f.c. with dinesh d'souza. >> trevor: hasan, dinesh d'souza is not a muslim. >> i know that. you know that.
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trump doesn't know that. ( laughter ) i will say this, though, any muslim who goes to this event is truly devout. >> trevor: what do you mean by that? >> i mean, this is the month of enduring hardship, and this dinner is going to be hall of fame hardship. you are coming off of 16 hours of no food, no water. you're tired, you're delicious. and then mr. travel ban walks into the room, and because it's ramadan, you're not even allowed to curse that orange-tinted, mother-- i'm sorry. i'm fasting. see, now that's a test from god. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i'm sure you know this, hasan, but there's a lot of speculation about why trump is hosting the dinner this year, right? some people think it's because the supreme cobout to rule on his travel ban, and he doesn't want them to think that he hates muslims. other people think he's doing this because he's planning to do like a "game of thrones" style red wedding. ( laughter ) >> or, or trump is finally thinking of converting to islam.
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>> trevor: wait, what? >> think about it, trevor. he doesn't drink alcohol. he doesn't work on fridays. he named his casino the taj mahal. he's already 90% there. plus, it would be so dope to have our second muslim president. what's up, barry? ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( cheers ) >> trevor: i mean, trump converting to islam. i'd have an easier time believing that if trump didn't hate muslims so much. >> you know who also hates muslims, trevor? muslims. iran hates saudi arabia. turkey hates syria. hasan minhaj hates kumail nanjiani. now, kumail, i told you to put me in "the big sick." it was the perfect role for me. but, no, you had to go with zoe kazan. and look what happened. your movie was barely a major hit, you selfish mother-- fasting, i'm fasting. sorry. >> trevor: hasan minhaj, everybody. we'll be right back. you gotta hold it in. you gotta hold it in. ( cheers and applause )
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it's the little things that make life rich. ritz. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an emmy- and tony-award nominated actor who can be seen in the new movie "hotel artemis." >> i need you to stand up if your boss is a millionaire. >> oh, come on, man. >> come on. that's it. now, stay standing if your boss is an asshole.
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good for you. >> how is this helping? >> gracias. it's the most violent ride in l.a. history. rich folks need to get their loadables to the bank. >> who do they use for that? >> a bunch of maids and grass cutters. two minutes to the cop show. >> okay, okay, i get it, man. >> all right, change of plans! keep what you can carry! let's go! >> trevor: please welcome brian tyree henry! ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and app >> thank you. i don't know why i feel like i had to bow. >> trevor: you have to bow. you have to bow. >> i don't know why i did that. i'm sorry. >> trevor: that is a sign of humility >> that is a sign of respect. >> trevor: i bow to the show.
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first things first, congratulations on your tony award nomination. that is really exciting. that's coming up on sunday. >> yeah. >> trevor: congratulations. >> yeah, it's crazy. >> trevor: that's really you know, i was thyou got a tony award nomination. you were nominated for an emmy. sooner or later you're going to win all of these things. i heard you singing in an episode of "this is us." like, t just go into music, be the real paper boi. >> i mean, because, like, i want to stay in my lane a little donald has taken over the music thing. i don't want to go over there. i'll just do theater. i'll stay and do theater aet him do the music side. >> trevor: that' of. >> i'm a courteous guy! you know this. i like to share, man. i'm not here to take it all. i am. >> trevor: let's talk a little bit about all the projects that you are doing. that clip that we saw is from the new movie "hotel artemis." and in that scene, you were l chat about tmoment-- but whe e of "hotel artemis"? it's a really interesting story. >> i don't want to give too much away, but, fst of all, jodie foster. that's one. >> trevor: right.
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>> so it's a hotel for criminals during a water drought. >> trevor: right. >> which may happen in the near-distant future. so it's set in 2028. there's a water riot going on, and these criminals, sterling and i, who are brothers, we get injured and we have to go to this hotel that is literally made for criminals. >> trevor: right. >> you pay a membership, and jodie foster plays a nurse that takes care of all of us. but we're not the onriminals checked in. >> trevor: it is a crazy premise. >> it is insane. >> trevor: the two of you being brothers is the most believable part of the story in terms of a crazy world, because in real life, you two are best friends. i did not know this. >> yeah, i have known him for over 11 years. he went to n.y.u. for grad school. and after i graduated from yale, i came to new york and started doing theater, and we have been doing, like, plays here ever since. but we never got to act in scenes together. we were always what i call "acting adjacent." so i know he's over there talking but i'm like, i don't have any scenes with him. so we were acting adjacent. so this time we finally we got
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to do this movie, where we're like, hey, man, let's really play brothers. let's really do it. i can't believe we made it happen. it's still unbelievable. >> trevor: because he got you the role on "tis us," didn't he? >> yes. >> trevor: the role that got you the am emmy. >> don't say all now 's goio knowt and run around and tell everybody that. >> trevor: you want him to be humble. >> yes, he already won the emmy >> trevor: you got the role on hank you, trevor knowing him thank you. >> trevor: that's how it happens. it's like when you are acting with somebody you have known for that long, is it harder to change the characters, or do you get into the roles even deeper? >> no, actually, you become more of a jackass because you're just playing all the . we were there playing all the time. there was one moment where my character gets injured and i'm laying on the gurney, and i just feel this wetness on my mouth, and guess this was his choice to give me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation? he did not-- that's not in the script. so after the director yells, "cut!" i'm like. oh, yeah.that's what we're goin.
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you're going to put your mouth on mine. you can't break now. what are you going to do. you have to finish the scene >> it's all new. that will be the sequelfeel lika chemistry like that with somebody, it's infectious on set we had just a great time. >> trevor: that seems to be a trend wherever you go. you're known as being an affabl person. "atlanta" is every single one of us is a fan of the show where we feel like you're a family. i wonder thi why do you always refer to him as alfred and not paper boi?
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>> because i wanted everybody to be very clear that's who he is. you know what i'm saying. paper boi is the persona put upon him. that's not who he is. and i want to make sure to remind myself to check in with alfred before i check in with paper boi. because paper boi has the fame, and has all these things. but deep down he's alfred. he started as alfred, and i want to make sure he stays alfr >> trevor: you have a lot of roles coming up. everyone loves you. people are waiting for to you play eveone role-- >> trev. stop it man. i love you. >> trevor: this is true. >> i love this man so much. >> trevor: you are dearly, dearly loved. >> thank you. >> trevor: i'm telling you this now. are there any roles you wish you could play? there have to be dream roles where you said, "i want to play that character." >> i wanted to be bruce leroy. >> trevor: okay. >> do any of you know the movie, "the last dragon? from "the last dragon." i want to be bruce leroy. actually, i want you to be bruce leroy, and i will be sho'nuff. ( laughter ) >> trevor: don't get me stard. >> i don't know. would you all watch it? you all would watch that, right? ( cheers and applause ) you needthink about it, trev. think about throject, and, like, i think we can make it
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happen. >> trevor: you see, and you wonder why people love you. this is what-- you go around giving people movie roles and then you wonder why people love you. >> i just want to have a chance for me and you to do somethithe. i know we would smash it. >> trevor: no, man, it would be great. thank you so mucr beow. "hotel artemis" will be in theaters june 8. ian tyree henry, everybody. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) applau)
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>> trevor: that's our show for tonight. stay tuned, "the opposition with jordan klepper" is coming up next. but, first, here it is, your moment of zen. ♪ the home of the free and the home of the brave ♪ ( cheers and applause ) ♪
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( cheers and applause ) >> jordan: it's time to see the truth. it's already june 5, and my guest toniulitzer prize-winning journalist sheri fink. give it up. ( cheers and applause ) opposers, let's talk tough talk. our president does it, i do it... under my breath, to the bartender, who never remembers my usual cocktail: an "abstinence on the beach." ( laughter ) it's the only drink that's 100% effective. ( laughter ) but this weekend, npr dropped audio of former trump lawyer michael cohen talking tough to a reporter on behalf of the big man. >> michael cohen's bare knuckle tactics in defense of donald trump captured on recordings that have just been made public. >> if you run this story, i'm going to mess your life up, for the rest, for as long as you're on this frigging planet. i'm going to turn around, you're
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going to have judgments against you for so much money, you'll never know how to get out from underneath me. i am warning you, tread very i'm going to you will bese what ( bleep ) disgusting. >> jordan: oooh! oooh! what i'm going to do to you will be ( bleep ) disgusting." beautiful. that was the first line of my wedding vows. ( laughter ) it's true. it's true. now, everyone on the left is clutching their cruelty-free pearls, saying this isn't how people in power should talk. wake up! this is exactly how real, currently un-indicted lawyers practice law! don't believe me? listen to self-described "business rebel," donny deutsch. >> i have gotten many phone calls from lawyers over the years. nasty, vicious, aggressive calls from lawyers, using that kind of language, and "i will sue you and you will rue the day you met me and i'll drag you in court." i promise you, there are dozens and dozens and dozens of lawyers
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in new york who are hearing that conversation and hearing their own voices. >> jordan: yes! in fact, i hear my own lawyer's voice in what cohen said. and i'll prove it, by giving my lawyer, rick ballbuster, a call. good luck downloading the memory of this landline, mueller! ( phone dials ) >> hello? >> jordan: hey, rick, jordan klepper here. just wanted to check in and see if you can make my barbecue this weekend. >> if you call me one more time about this limp dick jamboree you call a barbecue i'm going to grease my whole arm and shove it up your ass to puppet your mouth shut. i'll be there. >> jordan: glad to hear it! >> i'm not done, you chatty scrotum. i'm making sangria, a nice, summery white ( bleep ) sangria, and i don't want any judgments about the fruit being soggy. it's marinated, you feckless
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( bleep ), which is something that i say all the time, so why would i or anyone like me ever complain about it? >> jordan: cool, can't wait to see you there! >> listen, i've got to go, i got another job. i'm advising a very stable genius on how tol out of nafta. which might as well stand for "north american ( bleep ) terrible agreement!" ( laughter ) now, you have a good day, or else i'm going to come your dog and twist his balls a full ( bleep ) rotation counter-clockwise in front of your crying kids. >> jordan: looking forward to it. >> and jordan? you're my best friend. >> jordan: thanks, rick! see you soon. ( cheers and applause ) oh! love that guy. chuck, transition me, you ass hat!


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