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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  November 14, 2018 1:33am-2:06am PST

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. when you light up, you sign up. don't let tobacco control you. welcome back to the only tv show that knows cookies are baked so they should actually be called bakekies. next week is our season finale. and if i die over the winter, our series finale.
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i'm bringing everyone who works here to lake tahoe if for tosh point show in the snow. come meet your favorite pa in person. the boycott of the week is #boycott cauliflower rice. and finally it is time for unanswered questions. that's where i show you video and ask questions. just don't expect me to answer them because that is not the name of the bit. is cutting to the pig merely a visual representation of how the cinematographer feels about white america. or is jonah hill poorly directing this too? is there more to the video?
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>> well that should clear everything up. no further questions. good night. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! thank you for tuning in! i'm trevor noah! thank you, everybody. our guest tonight is actor, activist and author of the book
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"the mother of black hollywood ." jennifer lewis is here, everybody! let's catch up on today's headlines. amazon.com is one of the internet's most popular non-pornographic web sites, and it could be coming to a city near you. >> amazon making a decision on the location of its second headquarters. >> amazon is reportedly going to split their headquarters between two cities, long island city in new york and crystal city in northern virginia, 50,000 jobs between those two locations, and the "wall street journal" is also reporting there may be other major amazon hubs to come elsewhere in the country. >> trevor: finally! something to put new york and d.c. on the map, yes! seeing new york and d.c. win a new complex is like seeing bill gates win the lottery, congrats,
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i guess? i give it six month before new york says, yeah, we got a return policy, it's called shut the (~bleep ) up, tough guy! get that shit out of here! and with tax incentives and grants, new york is paying amazon more than $1.5 billion to move here. and, yet, somehow, they can't afford to fix the subway, yeah? i mean, not that we'll need the subway anymore. you can just amazon prime yourself to work. oh, man, why did i choose two-day delivery? moving on, everyone knows high school prom photos are incredibly emparsing, especially for me because i had to take my cousinnen to prom, who is a giraffe. ( laughter ) i'm sorry, i don't know why my writers keep giving me these dumb africa jokes. ihead a normal prom date with a zeb ray named debra or as you say here debra. >> police in wu wii are investigating a disturbing prom
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photo that led to growing outrage. reportedly shows pore than 30 male high school students making a nazi salute. one student did not participate but says the gestures were intentional. >> trevor: congratulations to the one kid. second, this is where we are in 2018. we're congratulate ago kid for not being a gnatsy. what were the kids thinking? they had to know the photo was going to get out and there aren't enough jobs in the trump administration for all of them. come on! what were you guys thinking? and this right here is why i don't wave anymore. hand diswres chiewrs are too politicized. i don't wave, do the okay, finger guns. the safest bet is to go, good afternoon, how are you, grandma. that's what we do from now on. in other news, remember the kids eating tide pods? now they have something to wash them down. >> parents now raising concerns about tide laundry detergent. they say the new packaging resembles a box of wine.
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the detergent will come in a cardboard box with a twist to open the spout. procter & gamble says the box will have a picture of the tide bottle on it and a label warning foornts keep it stored away from children. >> trevor: i get the box looks like wine but why do parents think kids will mistake tide for wine? why are your child drinking wine? kids should be drinking wine coolers, come on, called parenting! what kids would be stupid enough to drink detergent? don't answer that question. moving on. the midterms, like any trip to "keyia longer than expected. last night kirsten synma won. in georgia they're still right figure out who won the race. in alabama, roy moore was only this morning declared jefferson
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b high's first class president. congratulations. the real drama is as always in florida. the florida of states. both the senate and governor's races are too close to call and the republicans there aren't handling the stress well. >> republicans from the president on doin' are united in their attempt to stop counting votes. in florida's senate and gubernatorial election before the final tally. >> i will not sit idly by while unethical liberals try steal this election. >> donald trump echoing the base cleses claims of florida governor and senator rick scott who accused of the voting reg stare in broward county a fraud. >> trevor: if trump is saying this about an election he is not a part of, imagine if he loses in 2020. he will be holed up in the oval office like star face, sitting behind the desk with oozies. kellyanne conway will be manning the machine guns.
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don, jr. with an unpinned grenade. i took this out, i'm so strong! ( laughter ) nobody is stealing the election but that doesn't mean nah doesn't have big issues wits voting. all over florida the elections have been a cluster (~bleep ) and everyone is contributing to it starting with brenda snipes, the election commissioner in broward county, who has been doing a great job of screwing up people's votes. >> dr. brenda snipes is feeling heat from all sides. her office sent out this sample ballot which looks nothing like the actual ballot and the actual ballot had the u.s. senate race tucked under the instructions on the left side which could be why roughly 20,000 voters left the pivotal race blank. >> she counted 22 provisional ballots that had already been rejected. >> have there been mistakes? >> uh, there have been issues that tid not go either way represented. >> trevor: uh... that was the pause of a woman
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who was mentally going through a thesaurus trying to find a word for mistake that wouldn't get her fired. uh, there have been blunders, gaffs, boo-boos -- ( laughter ) but thanks to brenda snipes, 25,000 voters didn't even knot the florida senate race on their ballots. and remember, the margin is signature at 12,000 votes, so this would have changed it. so brenda's screwup has definitely affected floridaas senate results. but i will say even if the senate ballot was in a weird place on a form, how as a voter are you leaving that voting booth without voting for the main thing? what kind of person doesn't check their voting form? when i go to olive garden, i flip over the menu just to make sure i didn't miss anything -- oh, yeah, and the bread sticks, also. the senate race is the most important race and thousands of people voted for everything
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else. agriculture minister, yeah, yeah, and just left out senate? really? i mean, i sort of understand because, like one time, my grandfather sent me to pharmacy to get his insulin and i came back with shampoo, gum, "people" magazine, and he said where's my insulin? i said, i forgot there was one more thing. then he h died. we laughed. it's a joke. he didn't die because tha of th. that was a joke. he died because to have the shampoo. he was allergic. ( laughter ) it's not just the democrats in south florida that are messing up. it's the entire state including the republicans. >> ness tonight that about 150 panhandle residents, hurricane victims voted by email which is illegal. >> the county supervisor of elections telling nbc news anywhown challenges the use of email ought to be ashamed to take votes away from people who went through this disaster. >> trevor: i sympathize with people displaced by the
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hurricane but that doesn't mean one guy can make up new ways to vote. where do we draw a line? somebody says, hey, i was out of town because to have the hurricane but left a thumbs up emoji on instagram. that counts. in florida, everything is chaos. not just the election commissioners. turns out the recount machines are old and falling apart. >> monday morning, one of the tabulators stopped counting ballots. staff moved the ballots to the emergency backup machine. an hour into that process, that machine also stopped working properly. >> certainly some hiccups here today. basically one to have the buttons on one machine was pushed incorrectly. >> it's old equipment and if one of the eight machines breaks down, there are no spares. >> trevor: what the (~bleep ), florida? this state is so bad at elections. for starters, i'm pretty sure they're using deli slices to recount the votes. what is that machine?
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the winner of palm beach's half a pound of smoked ham! congratulations! this point is pretty clear, florida will never have its shit together when it comes to voting, so this is what i think. i think america that is to start planning for that. you know that one friend of yours who is always late so you have to tell them that everything starts earlier than it does? yeah, dinner starts at 3:00. no, starts at 3:00. that's what america has to do with florida. next time the election comes, everybody see you in november. florida, you assholes vote in july. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) ♪
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look! ♪ ahhh... can we keep him? what do you see in your cheetos? ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." with both the gubernatorial and senate races still being contested in florida, it looks like we won't know the winner for at least a few more days, and some of our friends on fox are tired of waiting. >> i think part of the fun of voting and having your voice heard is finding out on election
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night, we all stay up really late to see what these votes, when they come in and when these races are called, if you're still counting votes after ten days, and i understand if it's super close you have to do that, it kind of takes the fun out of election night, too. >> i'm willing to take the fun out to get it right. let's go back to anelection being an election. >> trevor: i've never seen someone say something too dumb for fox and friends. even brian said even i chugged tide from a box and think it's stupid. come on. for more on the recounting issue we turn to someone who regularly votes on "dancing with the stars." michael kosta, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) it's crazy sol people would rather have the winner declared in one night instead of taking the time to count all the ballots. >> i couldn't agree more, trevor. elections are so much more fun when you prolong the process. it might be easier to explain if i have a chart. >> trevor: no, not another
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chart, please. >> look, here's florida, okay. now, let's start with the panhandle, okay. so these two counties right here, oka okaloosa and walton obviously went republican. but as you travel down the state, you get more of a red andably and the votes mix. and you have a bit of a -- this is a bit of the throbbing purpl- ( laughter ) >> trevor: michael. i already see where this is doing. >> trevor, this is only going to take me two minutes tops. now the real area you have to pay attention to is the tip right down here, broward county. now, this is the most sensitive area of florida. >> trevor: that's because of the tense recount happening there, because of the recount. >> sure, whatever tickles your pickle, trevor. ( laughter ) here's why i disagree with ainsly on fox news.
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she wants to get it dope on election night, get in, get out, it's over. but if election night is so fun, take your time. make it last. recount all the votes, go up and down the state, up and down. over and over and over -- >> trevor: okay, slow your roll, jill scott. surely the counting has to stop eventually, right? >> great point, trevor. if you go too long, these counties up here could turn blue. ( laughter ) finally, after all the recounting on the mainland, you have to go recount -- all over the keys. >> trevor: michael, can i ask you a question, what would you have done in i asked you about a recount in georgia? >> that would have been a waste of time gauze georgia doesn't look anything like a penis. >> trevor: michael kosta, everyone! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause )
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[baby crying] [baby laughing] [baby crying] we hide hotel names, so you can find four star hotels at two star prices. ♪ h-o-t-w-i-r-e hotwire.com think only specialty stores have what's new? olay has the hottest debut. new olay clay stick masks, hydrating facial mist, and brightening eye cream. only by olay. mopping robotthe from irobot. its precision jet spray and vibrating cleaning head loosen and scrub stains. all while navigating kitchens, bathrooms and those hard to reach places. you and braava jet from irobot. better together. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an actor and
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activist who currently stars in the abc series "blackish." her memoir just released in paper backis called "the mother of black hollywood." please welcome jennifer lewis! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: hi, baby! >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thank you, i'm happy to be here. before you say anything, every woman that i told i was coming on the trevor noah show said, you tell him that i said he is fine! ( cheers and applause ) he is (pronouncing) foien as woien. in english, that's fine as wine. but when women really love somebody, they say foien as woien. ( laughter )
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>> trevor: thank you for that! welcome to the show! >> thank you, baby. >> trevor: jennifer lewis, "the mother of black hollywood," there could not be a better title. wherever you go your energy resonates. many black people know you from some of the most famous iconic black movies, but now because of shows like "blackish," your face is everywhere, people recognize you everywhere you go. why "the mother of black hollywood"? >> well, i did 68 movies. and in 60 of them, i'm playing somebody's momma! ( applause ) everybody's momma from whitney houston to tupac shakur to taraji henson, i mean, i've played everybody's momma. tina turner, everybody! >> trevor: you tell us so many stories. you talk about whitney houston at the peak of her fame. there was a story in the book about whitney didn't want the come out because it was cold and snowing.
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>> it was record-breaking storms in new york, blizzard upon blizzard upon blizzard. they had teased my hair up for a scene way high, and whitney didn't show, so they would have had to wash my hair in that cold-ass trailer, and then fix it for another scene. oh, honey, i called her, i said, little girl! little girl! this ain't no concert, little girl! yeah, this is a team! you get your ass over here! and this is exactly what she says, momma, momma, momma, i can't get out to have the garage. the snow is up to the door, momma. momma, i'm so sorry. i said, yeah, well, i guess i believe ya. get out! she, whitney houston -- whitney houston -- oh, god, i loved her. i was being interviewed by a journalist in the back of the church when we were -- she was
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singing in the choir stand, and he was asking me questions, and he said, so what do you think of her? i said, darling -- i never took my eyes off her because she was doing what she does best which was to sing gospel. she came right out of the church. >> trevor: right. >> so i said to the journalist, darling, shhhh... her voice is the eighth wonder of the world. >> trevor: wow. >> hush. >> trevor: wow. >> sure did. >> trevor: that's what every single story in this book feels like. it feels like you were there living through times and periods, you know, like some of the most memorable moments, some of the most memorable periods, but not just in acting as well. what i love about the book is how you talk about your acting journey. i came to know jennifer lewis through movies. over time you see a broadway show here and there. but what i enjoyed was you talking about your personal life, the journey you went through personally. >> yeah. >> trevor: you're larger than
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life, but you had to come to grips with the fact that you were suffering from being bipolar. >> absolutely. absolutely. >> trevor: why was the struggle for you to accept that? >> well, you know, i came from poverty. i sang my first solo in church when i was five years old and, from the reaction of the congregation, i knew what i wanted to do with my life instantly. and i had a little something in front of my name. my family calls me jenny. i had a little word in front of my name, here comes crazy jenny. well, i thought i was special for being crazy. i thought i was fabulous, right? ( laughter ) well, we didn't know about bipolar disorder back then. >> trevor: right. >> then i went to college. when i got to new york, i realized i had a sex addiction and how dangerous it likely was, especially back in those dames how i didn't get aids, i don't know, but i had many, many friends who did pass away. >> trevor: right. >> and left new york, went out on the road with bet mittle bets
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a hair lot. but i had a dream. when they were passing cocaine around, i said, what's that? he said, coke, baby. i said how do you do it? you pick up a little and put it in. thank god i asked the next question. i said what's next? he said you will feel a little drip down your throat. i said, a drip down my throat? i have a matinee tomorrow i ain't putting shit on my throat! ( laughter ) because the treatment was so -- and the only word i can think of is mighty. it was a mighty treatment. i wanted to entertain. i loved people. when i got to l.a. -- this is great, i don't think i've ever said this before, or for that matter put it together, well, i have put it together. i had trained in the theater, and, you know, you're large in the theater, everything hits the back row, we were taught in the day to hit the back row with the voice, so if it was --
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( singing ) -- ( cheering ) >> oh, i know. ( cheers and applause ) but we were -- so you goat hollywood, and that camera is right here. oh, my god... and what that camera tells you is you either know who you are or you don't. you can't lie in front of that camera. so i had to get help. i had to calm down. once again, the dream. nothing was more important than a dream. people, find your passion. i speak to the millennials all the time, don't ever stop dreaming! you must dream! that's what life is, it's more of! and we have a right to pursue happiness. i never thought i would be running around quoting the constitution. you have a right to pursue
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happiness! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: i love it i love it. >> and if case you're wondering, every single moment in the book is like this but in words. jennifer lewis, everybody! >> thank you. >> trevor: "the mother of black hollywood" available now. we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ take prilosec otc and take control of heartburn. so you don't have to stash antacids here... here... or here. kick your antacid habit with prilosec otc. one pill a day, 24 hours, zero heartburn.
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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: that's our show for tonight. thank you so much for tuning

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