Skip to main content

tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  September 4, 2019 11:00pm-11:35pm PDT

11:00 pm
from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york. this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome to the daily show, everybody. thank you so much for tuning in. and thank you for coming out. as always. i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight is the star of barry and he's now appearing in the movie it chapter two. bill hader is joining us, everybody. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: also on tonight's showed, the first crime in
11:01 pm
space. we figured out how to stop guns, and alabama is going to be hit by a hurricane. so let's catch up on today's headlines. let's kick it off with brexit. the world's most unsolvable puzzle. yeah, it's like if a 12 side rubiks cube was also one of the traps on saw. and just 41 days after bore is johnson came in saying he would get it done, yesterday he officially lost control of his government after members of his own party defected to the opposition. yeah, in fact, johnson's entire day in parliament was complete chaos. >> the political turmoil in the u.k. where new prime bore is johnson is facing a major defeat in the battle over brexit. >> mr. speaker, i'm really worried about free trade deals with america. but there is only one chlorinated chicken that i can see in this house. and he's on that desk. >> when will the prime minister finally apologize for his
11:02 pm
derogatory and racist remarks. >> racist remarks, mr. speaker, which have lead to a rise in hate crime. >> the people of scotland want the-- in the european union were not going to be dragged down by the prime minister. >> order. >> trevor: order, order. >> gesticulate. the thee rat ricks, behavior behave yourself, be a good boy. >> trevor: be a good boy. order. order. that guy would be such a nightmare behind you in the line at subway. i don't know if i want to get the banana. >> order, order! >> trevor: honestly, i don't get why anyone still thinks they can did brexit. you realize now they have destroyed three prime ministers. clearly it's cursed. like one of the treasures of an indiana jones movie. everyone who touches is it going to be like melting.
11:03 pm
i am worthy-- no! at this point things in britain are so bad i think one of the old countries should just call colonize-- it is out of control, look at these savages, they don't know what they are doing. someone needs to come in, india sthud come to india and be like look, look, like, you don't know how to do this. we have to pix this. we have to fix it. (applause) it is for you, it's not for us. >> you know what is funny when i was watching that fight in the british parliament with everyone going off, we the scottish union. order, it reminded me of how to train your dragon. seriously, like you can switch it out, the vikings voices with parliament and i promise you the movie would still sound right. >> order, the members. >> order, order. don't guest particular late.
11:04 pm
-- gesticulate, the theatrics, behavior self. >> trevor: order! (laughter) see, it worked. let's move on from international news to interstellar news, last week news broke that an astronaut might have logged into her estranged pows spouses bank account without permission which if proved would mawk it the first space crime ever. yeah, well, tech cloa the second space crime, the first one was when the lunar lander racked up all those parking tickets. that was illegal, you can't just park there forever. but that was in violation, technically. this would be the first real crime. you know what is amazing, is that the first crime in space would have been committed by a woman. yeah. that's right, ladies. that's right. you break that glass ceiling, girl, not literally, you have been sucked into space. you guys remember a few days ago president trump warned that
11:05 pm
alabama was in the pa of hurricane dorian. and that the national weather service had to tell alabama that the hurricane was not coming to al bama and that they should ignore the president. well today, trump came out to show everyone that he was right. >> president donald trump appeared to show this altered map of hurricane dorian's original trajectory and will you see in the picture there is a black line that goes beyond florida, around alabama. and so it appears that that was added to this map from the national oceanic and atmospheric administration. >> not only florida but georgia, and going towards the gulf, that bas was what we-- what was originally projected. >> trevor: did he draw with a sharpie? like guys what is life like now. i mean don't get pe wrong, i'm impressed that trump can locate alabama on a map. but still, the president of the united states just changed the
11:06 pm
map with a sharpie to make himself look right. huh? and he thought we wouldn't notice. everything else, all the lines are in white, and there is just like this one black line. like either that wasn't all, he wanted to give the heuer kuan a bigger boost, that is the only other thing, sir, this hurricane is account gore 5, ah, actually no it's a ten. that is it for the headlines. let's move on to our top story. (applause) guns in america. over the weekend after yet another deadly mass shooting the question once again on everyone's minds was is there anything that could have prevented this. >> now usually the answer to that question is complicated. but in the case of the odessa shoolter, it is pretty obvious. >> new details of the deadly mass shooting in odessa, texas, officials revealing now the gunman evaded a federal background check to get the fire army used in the rap page.
11:07 pm
>> the gunman who killed seven people and injured more than 20 bought the gun he used from a private seller, not a licensed dealer. authorities in texas have said the gunmen failed a gun background check in 2014 and tonight several law enforcement officials tell nbc news that is because he had a disqualifying mental health issue but a private sale does not require a background check. >> trevor: okay, this is just riddick risker people. if you fail a background check in america, you can just go buy a gun from a private seller who doesn't have to do a background check. that doesn't make any sense. can you imagine if they had that loophole at the airports. the tsa agent is like all right, step into the machine, put your hands over your head. and you are like actually i got my ticket from a private serl. the tsa agent is like yeah, yeah, in that case, go through, go through, yeah. i mean the solution to this problem is simple. universal background checks. and it is not a fringe idea. 93% of americans support
11:08 pm
universal background checks. 93%. you know how high that is. i don't even remember the last time a-- was 93%. because the president avoid gun void like its he other daughter, universe background checks are stalled in the senate. luckily while the white house is thinking about other measures, they have this proposal to stop mass shootings. >> the white house is working with the justice department on a new death penalty bill. >> the white house wants to expedite the death penalty for people who are found guilty of committing these kinds of mass shootings. and today the vice president's chief of staff confirmed that the department of swus tis has drafted legislation that would do just that. >> trevor: okay, i'm not sure that the death penalty is the right response. i mean half the time mass shooters have already written a manifesto about how they can't wait to die for their delusional cause. if you really want to de ter them, there should actually be a law that if you are caught you have to read your man feseso live at the apollo. yeah, that would de ter people.
11:09 pm
like some kid on the stage, and that is why i believe the white race to be superior and-- oh boy, this was a huge mistake. (applause) so while the trump administration is drags its feet on real solutions to gun violence, action is being taken by america's role leaders, the corporations. >> in the wake of the mass shootings and growing pressure to act, the nation's largest retailer wal-mart has announced big changes when it comes to the sale of guns and ammunition. >> now the retail giant is talking steps it hopes will curb gun violence, halting the sale of ammunition that can be used in large capacity clips and military-style weapons. stopping the sale of hand gun ammo and ending all handgun sales in alaska, the last state where it still sells them. another big change, wal-mart and the grocery giant kroeger now asking customers in open carry states please do not bring your
11:10 pm
weapons into their stores. >> trevor: that's right. wal-mart won't sell many kinds of ammunition any more. and they don't want your guns-- (applause) inside the store. yeah. so from now on people who go to wal-mart are just going to have to tie their guns up outside like a dog, you know. who is a good guy, who is a good guy. the thes. >> for more on the latest push we are joined by a senior correspondent jaboukie young-white, everybody. jaboukie, clearly americans aren't comfort cial counting on governments to take gun control seriously what can be done. >> trevor, trevor, trefer, you silly little bitch. we don't need gun control, we just need to de crease gun ownership. >> trevor: okay, but how do you de crease gun ownership
11:11 pm
without gun control laws. >> easy, trevor. make guns gay. (laughter) plus (applause). >> trevor: i don't understand. like as far as i know guns don't have a sexual orientation. >> well, not at the moment, trevor. not yet. but i just read this study that says a lot of straight men don't recycle because they're worried it makes them look gay. so we just need to harness that same toxic masculinity and just direct it towards gun, you know. sweet gay guns. (laughter). >> trevor: how do you get guns to seem gay. >> i mean cuz guns are gay. like right off the bat, guns are what, long, hard, the best ones are black. (laughter) and where do people keep their
11:12 pm
guns, trevor. in the closet. (laughter). >> trevor: you know, i get what you are trying to do but for americans who own fire arms, guns aren't just like guns. they either are you masculine hunter, a pree dom fighter. >> yeah, and we have to point out how gay that sounds. like the right to bear arms. i love bare arms too. (laughter) you are going to have to pry me from his cold dead hands. >> even the names of gun laws sound gay, concealed carry, that is like every-- the law might as well be called ass breaker 37. >> stand your ground, that sounds like a kelly clarkson gay anthem. >> i'm gonna stand my ground because i'm out an proud. ♪ like it works. it works. it does. >> trevor: i think i
11:13 pm
understand your plan, you are going to make guns gay so then straight men won't want them any more so they are going to give the guns to gay people and the gay people are going to hand them over to the government. >> no, no, no, no. gay people keep the guns and then we run the country. you know what i'm saying. i'm gonna stand my ground because i'm out and proud. because i'm out and proud. (cheers and applaus what! she's zip lining with little jon? it's lil jon. even he knows that. thanks, captain obvious. don't hate-like their trip, book yours with hotels.com and get rewarded basically everywhere. hotels.com. be there. do that. get rewarded.
11:14 pm
11:15 pm
boots up as fast as 6 seconds when you're running late?at (whispers) it's switching time or how about a battery that lasts up to 12 hours? order up! now we're cooking. or how about one with virus protection built in? which.... would be helpful.... right... about... now.... yeah, if you want all that, switch to chromebook.
11:16 pm
♪ ♪ ♪ applebee's handcrafted burgers now starting at $7.99 now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood.
11:17 pm
>> trevor: welcome back to the show. you know, the despite the recent drobout of the democratic race there are still over 20 candidates running for president. yeah. look at all those smiling faces, there are too many. so let's catch up with the latest democratic news in another edition of world war d. (cheers and applause) there are only 425 days until the presidential election. i know, that's not a lot of time. barely enough time to take a good shower. and over the past few weeks some of the top candidates have been out trying to get voters, you know, to move them up in the
11:18 pm
polls, elizabeth warren, native mens with the native american community, kamala harris pitched her health-care plans for seniors and angry anne talked about universal basic income while showing off his universally basic dance moves but it was brn bernie sanders who made the biggest pitch to voters literally. >> bernie sanders made a campaign stop at iowa's field of dreams baseball field. he hosted a day there. and dicer diers viel and urged his spofort ares to dream big. >> if we stand together and not allow anybody to di-- divide us based on the color of our skin or where we were born, or our religeon or our sexual orientation, if we stand together, for a common purpose, we can fulfill that dream. >> trevor: that's how you get me to watch baseball. i'm in.
11:19 pm
(applause) yeah. if bernie's playingk i am watching all the baseball games. the became already takes like five hours, yeah, i think this way i'm learning something. bernie will be there, like we can't slide into home because the average price of a home has never been higher. (applause) so all 20 something candidates are trying to get more voters. but one, one person, long time frontrunner anlong time back runner joe biden is trying to focus on keeping the voters that he has. that might be a challenge considering he keeps making worse and worse gaffes. >> joe biden is on the defensive after reportedly mistelling a story on the campaign trail about one soldier whose heroism. >> this guy climbed down a ra vine, carried this guy up on his back under fire. the general manted me to pin the silver star on him. i got up there, this is the
11:20 pm
god's truth, my word as the bible, i went to pin it, i said sir, i don't want the damn thing. do not pin it on me, sir, please, sir, do not do that. he died. he died. but according to the "washington post" he spoke to more than a dozen military and campaign sources, biden got the time period, the location, the heroic act and the type of medal the military branch and the rank of the recipient as well as his own role in the ceremony wrong. >> trevor: goddam. how do you get every single detail of a story wrong? well no, that's actually impressive. it's like being in a spelling bee and getting every letter of the word wrong. your word is obstetrician. on ste tition. k-b-w-6, dollar sign, lobster emoji, obstetrician. >> and now people assed to say that these were just biden being biden. but now it is starting to think
11:21 pm
that it really shouldn't. >> joe bied everyone public blunders continue on. this time he appears to at least for a moment forget former president obama's name at a townhall. >> because they did, on other countries, and significant portion of crimea, they say that it was president-- my boss, his fault. >> trevor: president-- my boss. forgot obama's name? how is he going to forget that one, it is practically his campaign slogan. how are you going to do that. and i know, i know, you are probably thinking but trevor, trump forgets things all the time. yes, but he is an expert at playing it off. yeah, he would be like and then of course, the man who came before me, president, you know, you know him. the guy, we all know the guy. i don't want to say his name. i don't want to say it. >> obama! >> you said it.
11:22 pm
you said it. we hate him, folks. we hate him. (applause) and here's the thing, it is not just the gaffeses, another issue plaguing obama-- biden's campaign is it may not be progressive enough for the democratic party with. these increasing frequent gaffes many are wondering if biden is the best choice. but to quiet those doubteds is joe biden's wife, jill biden came up with a simple message. beg ars can't be choosers. >> you may like another candidate better. but you have to look at who is going to bin. you know, your candidate might be better on, i don't know health care than joe is. but you have got to look at who is going to win this election. and maybe you have to swallow a little bit and say okay, i like so and so better. but your bottomline has to be that we have to beat trump. >> trevor: what? just swallow a little bit and
11:23 pm
say okay. that is not a ringing endorsement. other people might be better but it's like, i wonder what her wedding vows sowfnted like. like i take you joe, even though michael was technically better and you are fine, we can make this work. probably still bedder than joe biden's vows, and i take you-- umm, my fiance, the woman-- um, the one in the white dress. so for the first time joe biden, all eyes will be on him in the next debate. just one week away, thursday september 12th, 2019. in houston. where a joe biden would sairks monday november 8th, 1852, in charlotte, north carolina. he will see you there. we'll be right back. clause clause (applause)
11:24 pm
(baby fussing) google nest hub isn't she beautiful? yes. by google nest. steady the elbow.shoot me one? ♪
11:25 pm
♪ ahh boom shaka laka. feisty. ♪ ahh ♪ ♪ ♪ good morning. good night. the all-new versa- the most tech-advanced car in its class. this is nissan intelligent mobility. ♪ boom goes the dynamite, d car club yoko plays ] ♪ feels like i'm taking flight. ♪ [sfx: poof] [sfx: squeaking eraser sound effect.] ♪ i am who i wanna be ♪ who i wanna be ♪ who i wanna be. ♪ i'm a strong individual ♪ feeling that power ♪ i'm so original, ♪ ya sing it louder. ♪ i am, oooh oooh oooh oooh
11:26 pm
♪ ehhh ehhh ehhh ehhh ♪ i am, oooh oooh oooh oooh ♪ i am wanna see something... amazing? olay body wash visibly transforms your skin from dry and dull, to strong and healthy, in just 14 days. better skin from a body wash? better believe it, with olay body.
11:27 pm
(applause). >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. my guest tonight is an emmy award oning actor who stars in the new movie it chapter two. >> let's talk about the elephant not in the room, ben. >> okay, okay, obviously i lost a few pounds. >> you are like, you're hot. >> okay, all right, please, come on, guys, stanley coming or what. >> he is not going to show, request would stanley.
11:28 pm
>> without you basically performed surgery, tell me you ended up a doctor. >> no, i ended up becoming a risk analyst. >> trevor: please welcome bill hader. (applause) welcome to the show. >> hello. >> nice to be here. >> thank you so much for being here. con gtlations on how many emmy nominations, 21 emmy nominations for your show. >> between barry and documentary and another show i worked on. >> trevor: 21. >> yeah. >> trevor: i mean-- (applause) >> it's pretty cool. >> trevor: have i to congratulate you, because barry has become a smash hit that people have fallen in love with. >> thank you. >> trevor: one of hbo's most popular shows. like when you started the show did you think people would fall in love with a killer. people were just like yeah, yeah. >> no, no, not at all.
11:29 pm
we started that alec berg and i created that, and we want in to hbo and we are like so yeah, it is about a hitman who is sad and so he wants to become an actor. (laughter) >> and they just started throws money at us. we just gave puppy dogs eye and they gave us money that is how it works thravment is how game of thrones worked. martin walked in and he was like it is about dragons. >> and they just were like, we want him out of the office, give him a show. >> trevor: the show is a huge hit, documentary is a huge hit and now well, coming back to the big screen, the sequel of it. >> yeah, the sequel, it takes place 27 years later. jessica chastain, great actors playing the kids grown up and the kid who got shall-- who
11:30 pm
played. >> stranger things, he got me the job. they interviewed him and they said without do you want to play you groab up. and he said me. and so. >> trevor: wow. >> they called me and i was like-- . >> trevor: one of the things people love about you is the fact you are funny, another thing people love about you is you are in great shows but this, for the new side of bill hader i think a lot of people have seen. the video just went viral on twitter yesterday again. where you talk about anxiety. >> oh yeah. >> trevor: like i know i appreciate a lot of parents appreciate it. because it is like a video aimed at kids, like a four minute video where you talk about your anxiety and how you deal with it. but that is a vurler inable thing to do for anybody, to come out and say that. why did you do it, and like why do you think so many people connect. >> a great organization, helping kids with anxiety. and i got a call about it because i talked about it in a
11:31 pm
lot of interviews, so i was on saturday night live is the worst show to be on if you have anxiety. and so they said hey, would you record a thing, what would you have have said to your younger safe. and so yeah, i just did it. and just tried to be honest. and a couple of things that never really goes away, you just manage it that was the big thing that i had to learn. mine would take place and people always think heart pal pi taigs. i would think i have the flu. oh my gosh, i'm really sick, i can't go out there. everything would start spinning. and then yeah, i just realized it was drk dsh i went to like a doctor and he was like do you have ang sievment and i was like do you think that is what it is. like yeah. >> trevor: you know what i love about your story, i feel like it all tieing to because in many ways that is the cloud and how you perceive it, anxiety, how you treat it, how it taps into your mind, you know. >> you are right. >> yeah. >> and then like you've made
11:32 pm
this video to help kids and then a kid helps you get the job in it. >> what are you! who are you! >> trevor: thank you so much for coming to the show. it chapter two will be in theaters and in imax. bill hader, everybody we'll be right back.
11:33 pm
(ambient background noise) (crack of can opening) ♪ but still you say ♪ we belong to the light, ♪ we belong to the thunder. ♪ we belong ♪ we belong, ♪ we belong together.
11:34 pm
my mom washes the dishes... ...before she puts them in the dishwasher. so what does the dishwasher do? cascade platinum does the work for you, prewashing and removing stuck-on foods, the first time. wow, that's clean! cascade platinum. >> trevor: that is our show for tonight, thank you so much for tuning in. lights out with david spader is coupling next but first your moment of zen. >> a quick look now, the iowa
11:35 pm
feestled dreams and our number one spot, bernie sanders with the walk. probably couldn't see the ball anyway. good job, bernie.ral >> david: hey, guys, crazy news. hurricane dorian caused a bunch of bricks of cocaine to wash up on the beaches of florida. i sep sent my assistant, heather, down there for vacation. >> where do you want these? >> david: just put them on my desk, next to the weed. all right, "lights out" starts now. >> amazing. >> announcer: and now, david spade! [applause and cheering] >> david: hey! [applause and cheering] ♪

151 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on