tv The Daily Show With Trevor Noah Comedy Central February 6, 2020 11:00pm-11:35pm PST
♪ you just look at them and sigh ♪ ♪ and know they love you and they do. your parents love you very much. one more time. ♪ you... ♪ the schroots considered children ver in the olden days the women would bear many children so we would have enough laborers to work the fields. and if it was an especially cold winter and there weren't enough grains or vegetables, they would eat the weakest of the brood. [laughs] no! they didn't eat the children. it never came to that. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ( cheers and applause ) ♪
>> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! thank you so much for coming out! as always, thank you! thank you! thank you! thank you so much for tuning in! i'm trevor noah! our guest tonight is a writer and director whose animated short film "hair love" is up for an academy award next week. matthew a. cherry is joining us on the show! ( cheers and applause ) also on tonight's episode, how to win big on the z the worst way to be a millionaire, and neil brennan tell us what donald trump and 50 shades of grey have in common. so let's catch up on tads tads. ♪ let's kick it off with big health news. if you're a person who likes being alive and does not want to die soon, first of all, congratulations on being basic and, second, here's some good news for you -- >> good news this morning, americans' life expectancy has increased for the first time in four yearserring according to a
new record from the centers for disease control. it shows life expectancy rose slightly in 2018 to 78.7 years. >> trevor: wow! this is major, for the first time in four years, american life expectancy is on the rise! big shout out to betty white for bumping up the average! we see you, girl! we see you, girl! ( cheers and applause ) but you know what? it's weird that life expectancy is even a thing. it feels like we're giving human beings expiration dates like milk. some people are milk, but not most of us, you know? ( laughter ) here's the problem, though, life expectancy studies are deceptive because they make you think everybody's getting an extra month, which is not true because, on average, yes, life expectancy is hiring, but if you're in the swamps wrangling alligators, you're still lucky if you hit 40. actually, i think scientists should lie about life expectancy, because when you tell the truth that we're supposed to reach 78, we take
life for granted, and if we don't it feels like we failed. people will be, like, my grand-dad died. how old was he? 73. what a bitch! ( laughter ) moving on to immigration news. president trump has been rushing to build 450 miles of his big beautiful border wall before the november election comes. but maybe instead of getting it done fast, he should concentrate on getting it done right. >> president trump said the mexican border wall would be impossible to penetrate. wind is being blamed for knocking part of it over. panels from the border wall fell over in mexicali during heavy winds. fell on to trees on the mexican side. had originally been set in concrete. not clear if mexico will pay for the clearup. ( laughter ) >> trevor: insane, parts to have the border wall are being knocked down by wind? this is what happens when you build something without mexicans, donald!
( laughter ) and trump shouldn't tolerate this. he needs to go down to the border and teach these walls how to handle the winds because if there's one thing trump knows it's how to dodge a draft. ( audience reacts ) can't be hard enough to put the wall upright. they can use the gel donnell puts in his hair to harden the concrete. ( laughter ) they said that's because that specific part of the wall wasn't finished, but that's on trump. he should have known, but he hadn't finished reading the three little pigs. it's on( as trump ) it's one ofe longth novels ever written, folks, so long! ( laughter ) ( applause ) and finally in headlines, minnesota, a state most famous for boring things like casseroles and amy klobuchar, but now they're trying to shake off that boring reputation and breaking bad. >> nearly a million dollars in counterfeit dollar bills. canadians border, authorities
received millions of dollars in counterfeit bills, singles, authorities say they came from china. >> trevor: wow, cops in minnesota discovered a million dollars worth of fake $1 bills. and the cops could tell they were fake because the counterfeiters used the wrong washington. ( laughter ) here's my question, though, honest question -- why are you counterfeiting $1 bills? it's such a small number. like with a million ones, all you have is a million dollars. but if you countere counterfeita million $100 bills, you have way more money. how are you going to use one sz? clear out the vending machine? be king of the dollar store? you could go to strip clubs but if you get busted you will have a lot of explaining to do. the strippers and bouncers, and
you will be like, i thought you be boobs were fake, i thought the money could be fake? okay, i'll wash the dishes! moving on to the top story. ( applause ) this weekend is super bowl liv, it's basically a j. lo concert with concussions. and other than the came and the commercials, one of the biggest aspects of the super bowl has always been gambling. in fact, this sunday's game will shatter the record for the most bets on a super bowl in history. but why? well, let's find out in another installment of "if you don't know, now you know." ( cheers and applause ) ♪ the super bowl has always been the biggest day of the year for sports betting. the same way st. patrick's day has always been the biggest day of the year for street vomiting. this year an estimated 26 million americans will wage
$6.8 billion, and one of the reasons it's such a big day for betting is because you can bet on anything. >> if it happens at the super bowl, you can probably bet on it, coin toss, the lengths of the national anthem, even the color of the gatorade is dumped on the winning coach. >> will any player be arrested in miami after the game? >> any other prop bets, how many times president trump tweets during the game. >> will j. lo twerk? >> jennifer lopez, whether or not she's going to show butt cleaving. >> trevor: yes, super bowl liv, you can even bet on j. lo's butt cleaving, and it will probably be there but probably will happen during a tackle. ( laughter ) but it's true, you can bet on anything that has anything to do with the super bowl, even the length of the nationa national , which is great news for demi, because she's singing. she can bet and she can be just like, and the home of the
brave -- ( dragging out "brave" ) brave, brave, brave! ( cheers and applause ) so the super bowl is always a big betting day, but this year, thanks to some new laws, it will be even easier to lose your life savings. >> in 2020, sin is in. sports betting is now authorized in 20 states plus washington, d.c. >> since is supreme court cleared the way for sports betting in the states, other than in nevada, a growing number of states have legalized sports gambling. >> sports betting revenue expected to go from $2.5 billion to nearly 19 billion in 2020. >> the case came from new jersey, a state that fought for years to legalize sports bets. >> in new jersey, already poise toferredo take nevada as the biggest state for sports betting in the u.s. >> trevor: yeah, thanks to new jersey, gambling on sports can now be fleel any state, and now that it's legal, sports betting is basically new jersey's new pasttime, which
means we need to bid farewell to jersey's old past time, eating salami on a disgusting beach. ( laughter ) what's interesting, even though jersey may become big on sports gambling, not many people are planning to spend the weekend. >> sports fans are making super quick trips to new jersey. >> some sports fans only visit a matter of minutes before they go home. >> in new york, you open the betting app, you try and the app knows you are not in new jersey, we are unable to place your wagers. >> this is a five-minute ride just to come back on the train and go over. >> bets are made in new jersey parking lots, service stage and train platforms. others take path trains finding this to be the best way to bet and bolt. >> trevor: okay, i'm sorry, this is hilarious. so new yorkers are going to new jersey to place a bet, but they want to get out as soon as they're done. ( laughter ) it's almost like they're worried that if they stay for too long,
they're going to turn into jersey. come on, guys, we have to get out of here before we turn into -- oh! you wanna hit the gym? ( laughter ) basically what's happening now is jersey is the new vegas, except their motto is whatever happens in jersey, don't stay in jersey! ( laughter ) now, what's interesting about the world of sports betting is that, before it was legal, tv networks and sports leagues thought betting was the most disgusting thing that could happen to sports, but now that they've learned how much money they can make off of it, they're all? >> the ncaa and professional sports leagues longo supposed sports betting saying it could hurt the integrity of the game. >> but as soon as the supreme court freed states to legalize sports betting the pro leagues middle east reversed course. within months of the criewlg, the n.b.a., major league be able and national hockey league made deals with m.g.m. and n.f.l.
hart feared nerd with caesar's palace. >> ted lee i don't know said his capitol will have its own sports book. >> somebody will come to your seat and say you want to bet on the next period, the next half? >> trevor: the leagues embraced betting so much, some day you will have ushers coming up to you and ask you to place a bet. that's big. because before that, the only kind of gambling they offered at a game is whether the hot dogs would give you diarrhea. ( laughter ) but it's easy to see how betting at the games could make things awkward for some of the fans. you would be there, like, woo, go knicks! 500 on the celtics, please. ( laughter ) so, now -- ( applause ) you don't want to lose your money! come on, people! you can support a team and keep your money! ( cheers and applause ) so now, thanks to the supreme
court and new jersey lobbying efforts, sports betting is poised to become bigger and bigger. states are embracing it, leagues are embracing it,eth spreading everywhere, and nobody knows where it could go in the future. maybe some day, movies like uncut gems will start to look something like this. >> how you doing, howard? >> hey. >> looking good, howard. >> what i told your mom last night! ( laughter ) >> i made a crazy risk, a gamble. but it's about to pay off. >> i want to put 40gs on a six way parlay in today's game! >> why would you bet on that? >> this is me! this is how i win! >> what crazy thing did you bet on now, howard? >> this kid's automatic! he never misses! he doesn't miss it! >> where's my (~bleep ) money,
howard? >> let me go double or nothing on a big hopscotch game tomorrow! you know i'm good for it! >> all right, but here's a little taste of what's going to happen if you lose. >> oh! aaahhh! >> hopscotch? you bet on hopscotch? what the hell is wrong with you, howard? don't touch the light! don't touch the light! how hard is it to jump into a box? >> where's my money, howard? >> pay what you owe! >> you've got a gambling problem, howard. >> 50 bucks says i don't! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: michael kosta, everybody! we'll be right back!
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on car insurance. whatever you do, do it beautifully. peroni italia. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." during the impeachment scandal, we have watched the republican defenses of donald trump evolve begly. first, it was there was no quid pro quo. then it was, okay, even if it
was a quid pro quo, it wasn't an abuse of power. now it's there's no such thing as an abuse of power. donald trump can put the white house on love it or list it and y'all can't do shit! so, clearly, the republicans are okay with donald trump going too far. but why? well, to help us understand, we turn to another man who always goes too far, my friend neil brennan, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor, if you want to understand why republicans are behaving like this, you have to understand the world of sex. >> trevor: sex? >> yes, buddy, sex. you know, the thing that women want to have with you but will settle for with me? >> trevor: yeah, sex. right. >> you know the one. but i'm not talking about just any sex. i'm talking about the kinky stuff -- whips, chains, handcuffs, you know, like in 50 shades of grey or the new winnie the pooh movie.
>> trevor: but, neil, explain to me, like, what does kinky sex have to do with impeachment? >> i'll tell you, the republican party is completely submissive to donald trump, completely. we shouldn't even call them the g.o.p. anymore. we should call them the bdsm, because ever since donald trump came along, they have been letting their freak flag fly. he insults them and they're, like, you're a bad boy, mr. president. ( laughter ) he abuses power and they're, like, how can something so wrong feel so right? ( laughter ) he doesn't even bother to go to them to get bills passed anymore. he does everything by executive order which they used to hate but now they can't get enough of. by the way, even the term executive order sounds like a kinky cinemax movie. do i have to, sir? ( laughter ) i'm giving you an executive order. >> trevor: okay, well, neil, if the republicans want bdsm
with trump, then why should we judge? >> because, trevor, if you're not careful, bdsm relationships can get way out of control. one weekend i let my girlfriend pour a little hot wax on my chest. a month later, i'm handcuffed to my bad butt naked with an active beehive dangling over my penis. which reminds me, trevor, i brought you some honey. it's locally sourced. >> trevor: yeah, thanks. um, i'm now off sugar. ( laughter ) so, neil, if this thing is getting so dangerous, is there anything republicans can do to stop it? >> yes, they need to come up with a safe word. it's the word you use when you're no longer comfortable with the sex and you want it to stop. words like purple or banana. now, my safe word's a little confusing. my safe word is "harder." ( laughter ) needless to say, i've gotten
pretty injured over the years. my point is, republicans need a safe word to end this bdsm nightmare, and that safe word is "impeach." ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: okay, but, wait, here's the thing, if republicans remove trump, won't they just end up in another kinky relationship, this time with mike pence? >> mike pence, kinky? ( laughter ) no one is less kinky than mike pence. to mike pence, holding hands is basically doggy style. ( laughter ) in fact, a few months of mike pence's blandish should swing the pendulum back to the way g.o.p. was before trump and we can return to democracy the way it used to be, a democracy that's more like the average american sex life -- two parties negotiating, neither one especially happy, but every few months, you take something to the floor, and you get it done.
( cheers and applause ) now, if you will excuse me, my girl's at home, and we've got some honey to make. >> trevor: neil brennan, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) i like chillaxin'. the united explorer card makes things easy. traveling lighter. taking a shortcut. woooo! taking a breather.
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produced and directed the oscar-nominated short film "hair love." >> here we go! see? now wasn't that easy? >> hmm... >> trevor: please welcome matthematthewmatthew a. cherry! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ welcome to "the daily show." >> thanks for having me. this is crazy. >> trevor: yeah, it is crazy, because what a journey your life has been. >> yeah. >> trevor: going from being an n.f.l. wide receiver to
releasing a children's book and a short film that is nominated for an oscar. congratulations. >> thank you. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: congratulations. let's talk about the story and how it came to be, because i remember when you began this campaign, you've always been someone who's positive online, a rare thing on twitter, especially. i remember when you started this project. you said, hey, guys, i want to make a film about positivity when it comes to dads and their daughters and their hair and loving their hair, natural hair. why was that so important to you? how did that begin to be a seed in your mind? >> i was coming across a lot of these viral videos and it felt like a really great opportunity to shine a spotlight on black fathers who get negative portrayal in mainstream media, when studies have shown they're one of the most involved groups in their kids' lives.
( applause ) in 2017, only three films had featured black protagonists in history, so it felt like a good opportunity to showcase a black family and to normalize our hair. every week, there's a new story of a young kid who's not able to graduate because they have looks like mine. so wanted to normalize it and shine a spotlight on these young kids that have pride in how they look. >> trevor: that has become one of the stories we have been following recently. we have been seeing it more on the news where a kid is being told, you can't be in the class picture of your hair, that hairstyle is not appropriate. dreadlocks are inappropriate for the office or corn rows or braids, these are all inappropriate for the office, and school. it was a big part of my life, as well. did you feel that when you were transitioning? when you're in sports, you can have whatever hair you want, but when you move into a more professional world, was there a moment where people looked at your hair and went, oh, man, we
should tame that? >> no, i mean, definitely, you get the micro aggressions, things like that. you know, when i went to certain schools, you know, it would be the same thing, but, luckily, when you're in the creative arts, it's not so bad. i have a lot of co-workers and friends who work in more corporate environments and they can't wear their hair a certain way and it's crazy. >> trevor: it is sad but it's changing. in california, they now passed a law that protects people who have natural hair. you can't be discriminated against. you go to work, it's your natural hair. it's great for everybody, really. >> yeah. >> trevor: and this story is really beautiful. it is a short film. >> yep. >> trevor: about a dad and this cute little girl, and as we saw in the little clip that we played, she needs to get her hair done, and we don't understand why it's so important, but she needs to get her hair done, and he is terrified of doing her hair. >> yes. >> trevor: why did you want to make this movie and what's more interesting to me is why did you
choose to make it the way you did, asking people to help you make the movie? >> well, for crowd funding, it's a good way as a filmmaker to build an audience before you went to market. with this story, i felt confident because i had this data with the viral videos, like, clearly, people were already into it. so it was something i had a really good feeling that would connect with audiences. it took off like crazy. we ended opinion rawing almost $300,000 in 30 days, which is wild. ( applause ) and, you know, while is story is obviously very unapologetically black, it's also very universal. sometimes kids ask you to do stuff you don't know how to do, but if you love them you will step up and this is what the story means. >> trevor: it was a moment of vulnerability even in a funny way where a dad says i don't know this world of girls but i'm
going to step into it as a dad. it was spurred on by what happened with kobe bryant. >> right. >> trevor: he was proud to be what he called the girl dad, and how some people have a negative connotation towards that. kobe also shouted you out for this nomination. >> mm-hmm. >> trevor: because you were only, i think the second athlete or former athlete to ever be nominated for an oscar and same category. >> yeah. so crazy ( applause ) >> trevor: do you think looking at somebody like kobe as a dad, do you think we need to encourage more dads to see this as normal? >> exactly. you know, that's the thing. we wanted to represent the modern-day family. rent is expensive everywhere, and oftentimes both parents have to work. so if mom has to go out of town or has to go to work early, if you're a father, you're going to step up and get your kids together. it shouldn't be an exception. we want to try to normalize
that. >> trevor: we've grown up in a world where guys are, like, i don't know do the hair, i'm a man. no, you can have fun doing the hair. ( cheers and applause ) thank you for being on the show. really wonderful. i hope you win that oscar. "hair love," the book is available now, and you can watch the short film on so many animations, youtown channel as well in select theaters, and "jumangi: the next level." matthew a. cherry, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) yes! yes. yes. yeah sure. yes yes. yeah, yeah no problem. yes. yes, yes a thousand times yes! discover. accepted at over 95% of places in the u.s.
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he makes us all look slow. i'm wild. but he's on another level. that dude, he knows it's all about the rings. when he turns on the burners, good luck. he's just a blur out there. what's this for, again? -what's this for, again? what's this for, again? -what's this for, again? great question. i have no idea. but please mccaffrey, go on about how amazing i am. ♪ [ music stops ] what am i doing? you're mine, hedgehog. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: that's our show for tonight. thank you so much for tuning in. now, here it is... your moment of zen. ♪ >> the norway trip was june of