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tv   The Daily Show With Trevor Noah  Comedy Central  April 29, 2020 11:00pm-11:45pm PDT

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>> trevor: hey, everybody. what's going on? welcome to another episode of "the daily social distancing show." i'm trevor noah, and today is officially day 44 of us staying inside the hosue to try and kick corona virus' ass. yeah, that's right, corona, i said it. and here's your quarantine tip of the day: if you're trying to stay fit, you can do a lot more push-ups if you lay on your back. 566. 567. 568. 569. 570. anyway, on tonight's episode: tupac is living in kentucky, we reminisce about life before corona, and why sometime soon, you might be socially distanced from your bacon. so let's get into it! welcome to the "the daily social distance show." >> announcer: from trevor's couch in new york city to your
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couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah." ♪ ♪ displefer day, before we turn to the serious stories, we like to look at the stories that put the "us" in coronavir-"us", in our ongoing segment, "a ray of sunshine." first up, thanks to this pandemic, government officials are highly strung. they have to keep people indoors, they have to keep hospitals running, and they have to take all their bribes over venmo, which is really tough, because you have to write in the memo what the money is for. well, this week in kentucky, the governor was busy trying to stop unemployment scams, and in the process, he made an unlikely discovery. >> unfortunately, it's going to take a little bit of time on these, because a couple of bad apples can make this challenge that much more difficult. for instance, we had somebody apply for unemployment for
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tupac shakur here in kentucky. and that person probably thought they were being funny. >> i didn't know-- and it's my fault-- that we have a kentuckian who goes by malik, who's name is tupac shakur. >> trevor: ooooh, yeah, that was that was a tough bon, really. think about it. on the one hand, on the one hand, the governor should know that it's possible for two people to have the same name. but on the other hand, if the person you share a name with is tupac shakur, at least throw in a middle initial so people don't get confused. why do you think michael b. jordan has the "b"? it's so no one is ever disappointed to see him. "oh, it's you." like, i have to assume that if your name is tupac shakur, this probably happens to you every single day of your life. putting in your starbucks order, ordering a delivery, and good luck calling 911. ( tupac ) hello, 911. please help me, i've just been
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shot. ( 911 ) okay, sir. i'll send help right away. what's your name, sir? ( tupac ) tupac shakur. ( 911 ) very funny, sir. we'll put out an a.p.b., for the notorious b.i.g. after all the corona shutdowns have ended, what's the first thing you plan to do? go to a concert? reunite with your friends? divorce your children? people did was hit up mcdonald's. yes, when mcdonald's around the country opened up at 5:00 a.m., and the lines for the were so long they stretched all made people reassess their priorities! all those juice cleanses and healthy life crap are out the window. people are like, "get me a big mac and some cocaine. i'm living my life." and i'm willing to bet that some people were just driving up for the social interaction. ( kiwi 1 in car ) no, thanks. i don't want anything. it's just so good to talk to another human being again. this is really nice.
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( kiwi 2, honking ) move it along, asshole! ( kiwi 1 ) wow, two conversations at once. this is a dream come true! now, here in america, the lockdowns have not ended in many places, so many people have to find new ways to keep themselves entertained in quarantine. and because the met gala was supposed to take place next monday, fashion fans have started recreating famous outfits from the event at home. yeah, one person made a rihanna dress out of newspaper. another person decided to go with chandelier katy perry." and this is a challenge that anyone can participate in, because if you put any household object on your head, chances are someone wore it to the met gala at some point. so, yes, this year people are tdoing. because of the coronavirus people are wearias opposed to wt year, where i wore a home outfit to the met. in other good news, the world was not destroyed today.
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yes, an asteroid as wide as 20 city blocks zoomed past planet earth this morning, coming and scientists say it could have come closer but luckily, it respects social distancing. and thank god the asteroid missed us, because the world ending during quarantine would have rawl sucked. it would have been the most bother way to go out. you can't cross anything off your bucket list when you're stuck at home. "i'm finally gonna mix orange juice and milk-- aahhhh!" and, lastly, while an asteroid was whizzing past the earth, the blue angels and the thunderbirds paid a special visit to new york. >> even if you didn't see it, you may have heard the rumble of the flyover yesterday from the blue angels and the thunderbirds. the flyover was done as a tribute to front-line workers fighting coronavirus in the city. seven blue angels jets and eight thunderbirds planes started their trip over the city. at around noon. this event turned out to be a magnet for crowds at a time when we are telling people not to gather in groups. >> trevor: oh, no!
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what have you done! what have we done! to celebrate the work we've done fighting coronavirus, we all went outside together and undid the work we've done fighting coronavirus! you know what? i blame the military for this one. what did they expect people to do? if you do cool shit outside, people are gonna come outside because they want to see what's happening. what's your next bright idea. is the military going to hire channing tatum to walk around in a speedo like, "everyone stay inside. no, no, why are you coming to look? there's nothing to see here, nothing sexy at all. please, stay away, it's just me, magic mike." i mean, the military was basically doing donuts in the sky. of course new yorkers were going to go outside and see it. that's impossible to resist. it's the same way they got saddam hussein. ( saddam ) "oh, wow! is that a helicopter? i wanna see! op" the bunker!
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open the bunker! all right, that's it for "ray of sunshine." let's catch up on today's headlines. first up, yesterday the united states hit a grim milestone in the fight against coronavirus when it surpassed one million confirmed cases, and more than 58,000 deaths, which is more than the total number of americans who died in vietnam. and these numbers are a long way from late february. you remember when pump said america's coronavirus cases would go from 15 down to zero in a couple of days. in fact, trump was asked yesterday how he squares that comment with our current reality. and this is what he said. >> reporter: back in late february, you predicted that the number of cases would go down to zero. how did we get from your prediction of zero to one million? >> well, it will go down to zero, ultimately. and you have to understand, when it comes to cases, we do much more testing than anybody else. we're going to show more cases because we're doing much, much more testing, double anybody else. and it will be-- at the appropriate time, it will be
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down to zero, like we said. >> trevor: you see, this is what happens when you elect a real estate developer as a president. their timelines are always b.s. "you said my bathroom would be done in a month!" "yeah, february, in 2024, is a month! and i don't know why you're complaining. you still have the kitchen sink. it's like a bathroom with dishs. and, by the way, what did trump mean when he said corona cases will go down to zero "at the appropriate time"? how is now not the appropriate time? like, what does that mean? trump makes it sound like he's holding out for the right moment to stop coronavirus. "not yet, not yet. in other news, even after the coronavirus is over, its secondary effects could stretch far out into the future, because, you see, health experts are now warning that because parents aren't able to go to the doctor, many children are now falling behind in their vaccines.
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and this is for things like measles and whooping cough. and whooping cough is one of those diseases that sounds more fun than it is: "whoop, whoop! the doctor says i have one month to live." and this is such a shitty thing to realize. because of coronavirus, we could get measles and whooping cough. basically, the coronavirus is one friend who distracts the bouncer so the rest of the boys can sneak into the club. if these other diseases come back, that means two of the most vulnerable populations will be the elderly and children. which will be terrible. because then we'd have to quarantine them together, and then we'd have all these five-year-olds coming out of lockdown with stories about world war ii and quasi-racist opinions about italians. "i heard they east pasta because of..." and finally, the academy awards has announced for this year only, because of the coronavirus, movies will not have to be shown in theaters in order to be eligible to win an
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asker. they still have to be white. this is corona, not the end of the world. and the academy is also going to update the oscar statue itself to better reflect this past year. and if you ask me, the academy had no choice but to do this. i mean, corona has shut everything down. if they didn't include streaming like "sonic the hedgehog." that movie would win everything by default. "and the best supporting actor goes to... the golden rings from "sonic." you know what oscar should do? instead of doing a whole award ceremony for movies nobody watched why don't they make an oscar for the greatest moviees of all time. think about it. every movie that has been made and do it like a megatournament, all-star oscars. best movie of the 90s. best movies of the 2000s. best actor of all time. i would watch that oscar.
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all the greatest movie. who wins, "godfather" or "cool runnin." and personally i'm super excited for this news. for decades, winning an oscar has been too hard. you need a giant crew. you need a massive marketing budget. you need to convince meryl streep to be in your movie. but now, anyone can make an oscar-winning movie, which is exactly what desi lydic did. ♪ ♪ "the daily show presents: one woman's dream. >> i'm going to do it. i'm going to bake sourdough. >> and her journey to reach it. >> i don't have a dutch oven! why don't i have a dutch oven! >> the challenges shy overcame. >> you'll never bake a good sourdough. >> you're a failure, just like your mother. >> shut up! shut up! i'll show you all!
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>> in a world falling apart. >> i can't wait a week for instacart. i need that yeast now! >> this summer, see the movie critics say is legally allowed to win an oscar. upon "the rise." >> trevor: i know who i'm voting for. thank you, desi. all right, that's it for the headlines. let's get straight into the big story. every single industry in the world has been affected in some way by covid-19. retail stores have been shut down. tourist sites have been closed. barbers are buying those chia heads just to keep up their skills. and one industry that needs to remain open in order for us to survive, is the food industry. but now, the virus is coming for that, too. >> the food supply chain is breaking. that's the warning in a full-page add from tyson foods
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released in "the new york times" it comes after one of the country's largest meat processors closed a massive pork processing plant in iowa because of a coronavirus outbreak. >> reporter: a "usa today" investigation found 150 of the nation's largest plants are in counties where the infection rate is spiking, threatening not only workers, but potentially the food supply. >> this morning, with beef increasingly scarce, president trump promising to take action, signing an executive order under the defense production act to ensure processing plants stay open and run at the maximum extent possible. >> trevor: you know, i'll say this about trump: he is very clear about what his pirates are in life. because he was warned for months about the pandemic coming to america, and he did practically nothing. but you teal the man once there could be a beef shortage, and he springs into action like the world's hungriest superhero. but that's trump.
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the man loves meat. you know he must have been so disappointed when he heard meatloaf was gonna be on "the apprentice," and it turned out to be an actual man named meated loaf. ( trump ) who the hell is this? i can't put gravy on him! but i sure as hell will try. but, yes, few places in america have seen a higher rate of coronavirus cases than meat processing plants. and although there doesn't seem to be a danger to the food itself, in most of these facilities, the workers are quite literally putting their lives on the line. >> reporter: processing plants can be a breeding ground for the virus, because many workers spend their days side by side. >> you're not talking about a few hundred people. you're talking about several thousand people. >> we are very close. we can't use a social distance at that place. >> reporter: one employee concealing their identity for fear of retribution tells us plant managers were asked why fewer employees were showing up, adding the virus was rarely mentioned, if it all. >> people started being carried out of there, and so we were
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always asking our supervisors basically, "what is it that's going on here?" >> this notice for a $500 attendance bonus enticed employees to keep working. >> the union representing workers says one month of requests for p.p.e. were basically ignored. employees tell us workers were given hairnets to use as face mask. >> trevor: a hairnet. come on, people, that is some bullshit. workers were given hairnets to use as face masks? hairnets can't stop the virus. i don't even think hairnets can stop hair. i've eaten school lunch. and, you know, it's really sad that these workers are being forced to keep the food chain going but don't nobody is being forced to protect them while they do it. they need equipment to keep safe while they're doing their jobs. and if you eat meat, you especially should want these workers to be treated right. because without them, the only way you're getting bacon is if you fight the pig yourself. we all know how that is going to
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end. but there's also a whole other problem that's messing up the food supply chain right now: and that's distribution. because everyone is locked down and eating at home, the food that used to go to restaurants and schools now has no place to go. >> before the pandemic, 24 million cases of food were delivered every day to restaurants, schools, and large venues in bulk. and to repackage it for sale in grocery stores takes time and money. with restaurants closed, demand for butter and cheese has dropped significantly. and farmers, who can no longer get their products to restaurants and other customers, are discarding millions of pounds of fresh fruit and vegetables. >> reporter: bars and breweries tapping out, like minnesota's bauhaus brew labs, forced to dump 900 gallons of perfectly fine brewski down the drain as demand for craft beer dries up. >> trevor: damn, they had to dump 900 gallons of craft beer down the drain. right now, all oifer america,
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fraternity house flags are flying at half-mast. although, it's not bad news for everyone. in the sewer, hipster rats have having the time of their lives. and this doesn't surprise me at all. people don't eat the same at home as they do in restaurants. nobody at home is like, "you know what i could go for tonight? a seafood tower. why don't you bring out one of those triple-decker seafood trays?" now, this gap between what factories and farmers are producing and what people are now eating isn't just messing up the food chain in the united states. no, it's happening all over the world. it's gotten so bad, one country is calling on all its citizens to help out in a specialg way. >> meanwhile, in belgium, people are being asked to eat twice the amount of french fries, all in an effort to prevent food waste. according to research, belgians already typically eat fries once a week, but potato farmers say if everyone doubles the amount of consumption, it could prevent
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nearly 750,000 tons of surplus potatoes from going to waste. it. >> trevor: boy! belgians are being asked to help eat 750,000 pounds of extra french fries. that seems like a challenge. but if they can borrow some weed from amsterdam next door, they can knock that out in a day, tops. i'm not going to lie. i get this is a problem. but personally, being asked to eat more french fries would be my dream come true. to give you the full story, my dream is i'm eating extra french fries because j. lo can't finish hers because she ate too many appetizers during our wedding's cocktail hour, and she wants to save room for cake, but that's basically the dream. it's close enough. but here's what i say: if belgium can solve its food chain problems by asking people to eat more french fries, than surely the united states of america can step up, too. ♪ ♪ >> america, we're going through difficult times: disease,
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lockdown. they even delayed the new james bond movie. i was looking forward to that. but if there's one thing this crisis has presented to americans, it's a challenge that we're uniquely prepared to fac face-- food waste. ♪ ♪ all over this great nation, food that was supposed to go to restaurants and school cafeterias is being thrown away because we can't eat in such huge quantities anymore. wait, we can't? the hell we can't! this is the usa! we're want country that has been super sizing, hot dog eating contests and fighting to the death over a fried chicken sandwich. we have been training for this crisis our entire lives. so, america, i need you to join with me and stuff your faces like your lives and your country depends on it, because it does.
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u.s.a.! u.s.a.! >> trevor: thank you so much for that, roy, i'm inspired and hungry. after the break, we're going to go back to life before the coronavirus. how? stick around to find out. the fighting spirit is one we all share. amanda nunes wears hers with pride. from standing up for herself against the doubters, to being the only woman in her mma training gym... amanda refused to let stereotypes get in her way... whether inside the octagon or out. since 1925, we've proved that it doesn't matter where you come from, it matters what you're made of. modelo. the official beer of ufc.
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it matters what you're made of. it's that we can get through...anything., and that beer sometimes helps.
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so, coors light is buying. go to @coorslight on twitter to send someone a six pack on us. cause man, we could all use one right now. it's just nice to have something to look forward to. well, break out the good plates and tell the kids to wash up, because it's sunday dinner, even if it isn't sunday. we aren't keeping track of days anyhow. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily social distancing show." you know, it's safe to say, the world we knew before coronavirus hit, feels a long way off right now. and when everything feels so strange and different, it can be comforting, it can really be comforting to remember the good times. so that's exactly what desi lydic, jaboukie young-white, ronny chieng, and roy wood jr. did in our new segment, "what i miss." ♪ ♪ >> hey, what's up, y'all? how y'all feeg, man? >> yeah, okay, you know. >> yeah... it's good. >> you want to know what i miss about life before quarantine?
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i miss sports. i just miss going to a bar and just watching a game. >> yes. >> yeah, yeah. i-- for me, personally, i don't miss sports, but i just miss the normal things of just hanging out with friends. >> do you know what i miss the most? eating anything outside my home. >> oh, my god. yes. going to a restaurant and, like, holding a menu. >> oh, i definitely miss restaurants, man! i miss excusing myself to go to the bathroom, and then crawling up in the ceiling and just living in the air duct for three days. >> oh! it's the best. so snug. >> you know what i really miss? just seeing new things. >> yeah, man. going new places, traveling! >> packing a suitcase, strapping a weapon on your leg and going through t.s.a. checkpoint, just to get that thrill when they don't find it. >> i just miss going outside and seeing a dog and thinking, if i was a dog, would i find that dog sexy and would that dog find me
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sexy. >> do y'all remember going to the park on saturdays with your friend and you bring a big five-pound ham, and some good old-fashioned ham toss where the only rule is, first one who drops the ham... >> eats the ham! >> i almost miss getting thrown out of old navy. >> i miss going to the zoo and telling the seals that i'm disappointed in them. >> handing rocks to people on the subway and whispering, "one day you will know what this means." >> i miss going to the beach and breathing in the fresh salty air and strapping a cinder block on myself and walking straight into the ocean. >> whispering into kids' ears that god isn't real. >> or going to the zoo and telling the seals i'm disappointed in them. >> i said that already. >> i miss going to the d.m.v. in a diaper and dressing up like a big baby.
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>> i miss displacing stat of a wealthy korean family and living in the basement. >> totally. >> i miss going to the movies. >> ronny what the ( bleep )? >> what the hell is wrong with you, ronny? >> you're some kind of freak, man. >> uhm, i think i gotta-- i gotta water myself or something. >> yeah, i gotta go. >> guys, no, no, no! don't go! i was just joking. >> that's weird! >> guys, don't go. i can be weirder. i don't eye don't just go to movies. i also take a dump in the popcorn and i eat it. guys! guys? >> trevor: thank you so much for that, guys. when we come back, my guest will be maryland governor larry hogan. we'll be talking about how his state is handling the coronavirus shutdown and where he as a republican governor disagrees with president trump.
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it's that we can get through...anything., and that beer sometimes helps. so, coors light is buying. go to @coorslight on twitter to send someone a six pack on us. cause man, we could all use one right now.
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daily social distancing show." earlier today, i got the chance to speak to maryland governor larry hogan, a republican who is very popular in a state that tends to vote democratic. we talked about his plan to reopen his state and his many disagreements with president trump. ing governor hogan, welcome to e daily social distance show." >> well, thank you very much. it's great to be with you, trevor. >> trevor: you are one of the governors in america who is fighting hard to keep your state in a good place when it comes to the coronavirus outbreak. where does maryland stand right now? >> well, unfortunately, you know, we're a little bit behind where new york and some of the other places are. but we're not nearly as bad, but we're still on the rise. we just passed over 20,000, you know, cases, and we just went over 1,000 deaths today. so, sadly, our numbers are still on the rise. the washington area is starting to grow. >> trevor: it really has been an interesting journey in america because, you know, some people don't want anything to close down. others want to shut down to happen immediately.
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but one thing that has been apparent, is many governors have been forced to go it alone. you're all making your own decisions. there hasn't been one centralized approach. the president said he's in charge and then the governors are in charge. how are you making these decisions? are you liasing with other governors or are you doing what maryland needs? >> i am the chairman of the national governors association and we have 17 or 18 conference calls with all of america's governors. we have had, i think, 12 calls with the president and/or vice presidents, and other calls with just the governors. and we're talking with each other, one on one with governors all across the country, democrats and republicans working together. and we really are sharing a lot of information and talking with each other about the crisis and how it's affecting their states and the decisions we're making. but governors are on the front lines, and we've had to-- we're in a tough position making really hard decisions, trying to make decisions based on the science, listening to the smartest people on the infection and how to keep our people safe, while also worried about, you know, our economy and how it's impacting, you know, people losing their jobs and small
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businesses. >> trevor: you have been talking to the president, but you've also been out wardly critical of the president, which is rare of a republican governor. tell me what you wish president trump could have done differently, or where you think the federal government could have changed its approach in how it's work with the states? >> well, trevor, i've tried my best-- you know, i don't think in the middle of this pandemic, where i think it's so critically important that we try to all work together at the federal, state, and local level, because the real enemy is the virus, and i think there will be plenty of time. later to go back and take a look at what we could have done and should have done better. i'm not trying to be critical of the president or the administration. they have been work together and getting some things done with us. i haven't been afraid to stand up when i think things aren't going well. my job as the leaders of the governors, both democrat and the republicans is to stawnd and say, "we're not getting help on tis." we expressed our frustration on the lack of availability of testing and personal protective equipment and a number of other issues. look, i think they're making some strides, and they have been
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doing a good job of communicating with the governors and trying to address our needs. but we've-- you know, we've butted heads a few times, but i haven't tried to go out-- i'm not one of those folks out criticizing the president for no reason. i'm pushing to try to get the help we need in our states. >> trevor: you have also been proactive in doing it for yourself. you did something that was really unique. you personally negotiated with south korea to get 500,000 testing kits for i think $9 million. how did that happen? and why did you choose to do this? because, i mean, most people would have said, "wait a minute for the federal government," and you just went out and got the testing kits yourself. >> well, you know, we wait, the federal government the the president said this is a local thing. states should be doing the testing. i'm not sure i agree with that. i think the federal government could have done more but we had no choice. we were put in a position where governing's were trying to get tests from all over the countries from various providers and all over the world. my wife was born in south korea and i have a good relationship
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with the ambassador, where the president, and we just made a personal appeal. we worked on it for about three weeks. my wife speaking fluent korean, the folks in korea, with a couple of other translators, with our scientists, back and forth with this company. and landing half a million tests for the people of our state was a huge thing when states around the country had no tests. and so we were happy to be able to get it done. and it took a lot of work. and i want to gift first lady of maryland really a lot of credit for helping us get it done. it's unusual. i mean, states don't normally do international deals like that to try to get this kind of a thing, but i was happy we were able to get it done. >> trevor: we're learning every day that testing seems to be almost the most crucial fact aror of how we go about fighting the coronavirus. if we don't know how many people have it or have had it, we don't know how to deal with it and move forward. >> and it's very hard for us to reopen society and get back to work if we can't identify, and isolate and find out where the virus is. >> trevor: let's talk to that. what are you trying to do right now in terms of getting maryland
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ready to open up? i mean, everyone has to think about when to open up, but you can't do it unless you know how many people have or have had the virus. so what is your plan as governor for your state? >> so we-- we laid out a very detailed plan that we announced last friday. and we-- we listen to the smartest scientists and doctors, public health officials in our state, and laid out kind of a safe, effective, and gradual reopening. because we've got to get things back to normal in some way over a period of time. but we have to do it safely. so there's basic building blocks. we want to make sure we have adequate testing, we have surge capacity in our hospitals, we have enough of the official protective equipment and we can do this contact tracing so we can identify the people who have been in contact with those people that have the virus. that's-- that's the first steps. and then what can you open up safely? we're working with all of our different industry groups to say, "help us come up with plans about how could you reopen your businesses in a safe way that protects your workers and your
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customers." >> trevor: i-- i've been struggling to understand how one state can open and other states can stay closed when it feels like that would be counter-intuitive if people can cross borders freely, which is what people can do in the united states. i mean, you're hearing reports of the t.s.a. saying airplanes are packed once again. people are flying around much more than they were a few weeks ago. so is there an element of concern that there is no synchronicity to this whole thing? i mean, if maryland doesn't open, new york doesn't open, and georgia does, and another place does, and another place doesn't, isn't that going to be undermined if people cross over from one place to the next? >> you know, the virus doesn't recognize state borders or international borders, and in our area, we're very close with washington, d.c., virginia, and marldz. and we're all kind of working in conjunction with one another, with the governor of georgia, the mayor of washington, d.c., to make sure that we're sort of on the same page because many of our people live in one jurisdiction, work in another.
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they travel back and forth on the same metro system. and it's hard if one person opens up everything, if somebody opens up all the bars and restaurants, everybody from our state gl over there, and bring it back, you know. so you've got to work together. and it's got to be done in a smart way. the president has said each governor is going to make their own decisions. governors are making decisions and we're hopefully going to work together and figure out ways that we're not spreading it from one place to another. >> trevor: whereas most countries in the world seem to be fighting the virusots own, america seems to be fighting the virus while democrats are fighting republicans. un, it seems like-- it seems like some states are making their decisions based on the fact that they're republican. some states seem to be make the decision in a different way. and what's confusing to me is-- is whether some of these decisions are being made for political reasons or just based on the facts. do you have a sense of that because you talk to all of these governors? >> i'm sure that there's probably some politics in some of the decisions, trevor. but i would argue that i've
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never seen in my lifetime the kind of bipartisan cooperation that we've seen. i've never-- you know, we've had almost daily or every other day we're talking, all of the governors talk to one another, sharing what's going on in their states. different people may be making different decisions, but i think there's been lespolitics than normal. and my colleagues, haven't really seen people wearing red jersey or blue jerseys, democrats fighting with republicans. we've been saying, "how do we help each other? how are we dealing with this? my next door neighbor, the governor of the virginia, the mayor of d.c., they're both democrats and it doesn't matter. we're all in this together. and even in congress where there is almost complete partisan disfunction they have been able to pass four bills nearly unanimously in like a month, when it usually takes 10 years to get a bill passed. there's still partisanship and there are still republicans and
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democrats. but i think it's been less-- some of that has been pushed aside because we have this common enemy. we're all fighting this virus and trying to save people's lives. >> trevor: before i let you go, i wanted to find out your plan for maryland itself. if there are citizens of your state right now who are watching this and they're asking themselves, "when is it going to open? how is it going to open?" i know you started to think about stages of how to open your state. what is your game plan right now? >> so we're waiting for our numbers to kind of-- we're looking at hospitalization rates and kashu i.c.u. beds. when that levels off and plateaus and we see we're getting safer on the numbers we're going to gradually open up on quality-of-life issues, let people get outside and do things lesrisk. we have different categories of risk. phase one will be start to get thingses back to normal, smaller businesses that are low touch don't have a lot of people jammed in together. and it's phasing and slowly do
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things, and two weeks later, take a look at where we are, open up more things and more things before you get to the bigger opening up business and bars and strawntsz and things like that takes while. but we'll do it in conjunction with the scientists and the business community, and make sure we're doing it in a smart way. because what we don't want to do is run it and then have a spike and that's going to be terrible for the economy if we-- you know, we cause another wave of this and overload our healthcare system. >> trevor: governor hoge arng i thank you for your time and wish you luck. >> thank you, trevor. thank you for having me. >> trevor: thank you so much for your time, governor hogan. stick around. the "the daily social distance show" will be back right if history has taught us anything, it's that we can get through...anything. and that beer sometimes helps. so, coors light is buying. go to @coorslight on twitter to send someone a six pack on us. cause man, we could all use one right now. show me reality... tv.
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♪just in case i see your face♪ ♪i may be acting crazy now it's getting late♪ ♪they took my heart away ♪but i'll be okay, 'cause♪ ♪in my dream world ♪i'm still your dream girl ♪ooh, i'm still your dream girl♪ ♪ooh ♪ >> trevor: well, that's our show for tonight. before we go: the covid pandemic has devastated communities around the world, but the international medical corps is helping those communities rebuild and recover. but they need your help to do it. so if you are able to and would
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like to help them in their please donate what you can. and if you'd like to support the response here at home in new york city, please donate to the n.y.c. healthcare heroes, who are providing care packages to our healthcare workers, hospitals, and temporary medical facilities. until tomorrow, stay safe out there, wash your hands, and remember: if you defeat your roommate in combat, the living room is yours. now, here it is, your moment of zen. ♪ ♪ ♪ tur [dialing] [line rings] - ihow do the policeck know who to profile? "and so i entered the world quite magically stretching my major three times wide vaginally."
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- bet you've been peed on more than r. kelly's girlfriends. - ♪ outdoor colorado ♪ ploppers go in a bag - that is beautiful to hear, because i've been looking forward to shitting my pants on a ride for years. - you can mail me 2 grand cash. - nope. - why are you being difficult? i have some hashish i could use as collateral. [phones ringing] [upbeat music] - ♪ come one, come all, 'cause we're having a ball ♪ ♪ we're just making some calls to strangers ♪ ♪ we're back on the cell ♪ and the world's gone to hell ♪ ♪ but you're gonna feel swell ♪ ♪ when they pick up ♪ from new york to alabammer ♪ they'll probably wanna throw our ass in the slammer ♪ ♪ 'cause we're disturbing others ♪ ♪ maybe even your mother ♪ won't you join the crank yankers tonight? ♪ - "crank yankers!" [rock music] ♪ [line trilling]
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- thank you for calling [bleep] management. this is jennifer. how can i help you? - hi, this is bobby. i was just calling about, uh, maybe getting some, uh, debt relief. - okay, do you know who you owe and how much today that we could take a look at kind of what you've got? - well, one of them's my bookie. i'm not sure his name. i think he's billy bats. - mm, yeah, i don't think he's really a creditor in the sense where we could send him money. - no, i mean, i know where-- i've got the address where you could send it. - yeah, no, we wouldn't-- we wouldn't do something like that. - okay, well, i owe billy 11 grand. i took the under on the chiefs last week. - he's not a creditor. it's not on a credit card-- - well, technically, he is, though. - what do you mean? - 'cause i paid him on my credit card before. he's got--he's got one of those squares on his iphone, so he can run it. he's done it before with me. - okay. - i've done it with a hooker before too, so they--they have the square. - so who's the credit card? - it's bank of america. - oh, okay, there we go. so you owe bank of america $9,000


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