tv The Daily Show With Trevor Noah Comedy Central October 14, 2020 11:00pm-11:45pm PDT
welcome to the daily social distancing show, i'm trevor noah. today is wednesday the 14th of october. which means that if you live in kansas, rhode island or tennessee early voting is now open in your state. so go out there, get your vote in early because that way you'll get the house to yourself when all your roommates are voting on election day. think about it, it will be the first alone time you have gotten all year. and you know what that means shake up a martini and celebrate being home alone, baby, yeah, anyway coming up on tonight's show we catch up on what is
going on in the reeled world, roy wood, jr. on the vote and the crazy plot to kidnap the michigan governor. >> let's do this. >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. also's be honest guys, there have been a lot of upsetting news over the last few weeks. suks months, year and a half, four years and it only seems to be getting worse. coronavirus, the supreme court, election anxiety, emily in paris, the list goes on and on. but it turns out there is still good news out there. so let's de compress for a moment with another installment of our ongoing segment, a ray of sunshine. let's kick things off in peru, the country best known for its
adorable living pun atas. luke most of the world the south american nation has been in lockdown for coronavirus. but this week it reopened its biggest attraction for one lucky guy. >> patients have paid off for a japanese tourist who refused to let the pandemic ruin his trip of a lifetime. jessie cat maia wanted to end his journey around the world at machu picchu, the ancient mountain citadel in peru but he arrived in march just as the country's covid lockdown started. so jesse did something cool. he rented a room, he studied yoga. he taught boxing to local kids and just waited. word got around and on sunday jesse was granted special access to machu picchu as the only visiter in seven months to be there before he headed home to japan. >> trevor: whether or not you care about patchu pitchu this is inspiring because this guy had a goal during covid and he waited long enough to make it happen. we can all learn a lesson from that, whether st visiting a
15th century incan fortress or finally talking a shower today. you don't give up on your dreams people. i really admire this guy's paishes because after two days of waitingk i would have just paid some guy to photo shop me on to machu picchu, see, looks natural as hell and i'm ready to put it on my dating profile. hey. but this story really has inspired me, you know am luke i really think the world would be a better place if we all learned to be a little more patient. we're always in a rush, we're going to-- this person was like i'm going to wait and just take a moment which is why before we move on to our next story, i would like us to just sit together quietly with our own thoughts for just a minute. get a clock up here and we can just chill. all right, you get the point, let's move on. the clock will go to zero, you understand what moves on. >> because adventure travel isn't everyone's idea of a good
vacation, sometimes you just want to unpined-- unwind, de stress a little and if you can't make it to the beach, why not head out to the barn. >> people aren't getting in the hugs they used to before the pandemic so if you need a hug, there is this. there is a dutch practice called cow hugging where people literally hug cows for hours. the bbc says the cow's warmer body temperature, slower heartbeat and mammoth size can make hugging an incred bree soothing experience and during the pandemic, cow hugging has apparently become a lot more popular. >> trevor: cow hugging? what a wonderful idea for humans. and i'm sure the cows appreciate this too. i mean for centuries we have just been milking them. it is about actual we added some foreplay. st also great because anyone can do it. you can just go to a farm and hug a cow and if a regular cow isn't available, you can always hug your mama! oh, oh, no, but jokes aside, don't hug your mom, it is a
covid risk. seriously, cow hugging does sound pretty sweet but you have to be careful though, because you don't want to be in a mcdonald's a few years from now going don't look now but my ex is in that big mac this is so awkward. oh my god. >> also you think about how confusing this is from the cow's perspective. right? one day people are coming over to kill you and the incomes day we're coming over to hug? the cow must be like look, man, either chop me up or put a ring on it but enough with the mind games. but let's move on from cows to the cows of the sky. birds. oh, you guys don't use that expression here? anyway, here's one bird who just had >> it is not news that birds mi brait of course but this journey of this one were birds is astonishing setting a record, a bar-tail godwit migrated from alaska to new expwhree and,
interest kilometers an hour, 11,000 kilometers it beat the 2007 record when it flu 11,500 kilometers in nine day, godwits on average weigh less than a pound and scientists still don't fully understand how they and a half gailt over the open water of the pacific ocean. >> that is so cool. it is amazing that such a little bird could achieve so much. especially since big bird ain't achieving shit, this dude has been hanging out on the same street for the last 50 years, get a job. it is also crazy that scientists say they don't know how these birds are navigating these long distances. cuz guys, it is so obvious. i mean before the bird leaves home, it googles directions and then just remembers them. science isn't so dumb sometimes. i will say this flying 12,000 kill meet ares with no food or water is really impressive.
although spirit airlines was like yo, we have been doing that shut for years, spirit airlines, we're basically one step above migration. moving on to the nobel prize. the award given to people who do smart brain things. the nobel prize is one of the highest honors a person can get. but if you think are you in the running, make sure you don't turn off your phone on award day. >> sometimes good news can't wait, the stanford university academic racing across the street at 2 a.m. to wake up his colleague and deliver this life-changing message through a door bell camera. >> hello? it is bob wilson. >> yeah. >> you won the nobel-- you have won the nobel prize and they're trying to reach you. >> paul and robert wilson have taken out the nobel prize in economics for their work on auction theory.
>> oh, that was the most adorable paranormal activity sequel ever. although i feel bad for all the other nominees that this guy woke up the same night, richard, binge bong, binge bong you lost the nobel prize, also i'm stealing your amazon packages, bye. by the way, going to sleep the night that you could win a nobel prize is one hell of a flex. i mean that's the nobel prize equivalent of taking a shot in basketball and turning your back on the hoop before the ball goes in. i bet this guy got in bed and said call me kobe and fell asleep. and finally some good newing for people who love soap operas. >> even social distancing rules can't stop your story from getting hot and steamy. >> we know the pandemic and social distancing. they aren't stopping the romance on the set of one cbs soap opera. take a look. >> that sounds like me laughing. that is a mannequin on the set
of the bold & beautiful, normally lawrence would be intimate with his love interest zoe but zoe was replaced by the mannequin, just one way the production is following covid safe, it is kind of funny. >> trevor: you see? you can makeout with a mannequin. take that security guard at the westfield mall. turns out i was just ahead of my time. but can i just say on a personal level, i am so proud of that mannequin, i mean last week i saw her working at the gap and now, now she's on tv. that is what makes this country so great. if you are a mannequin who believes in hard work, you can end up as a soap star. or even as a white house advisor. but what i love most about this story is that apparently not having a kid in the show wasn't an option for them. yeah, they could have just written around the kiss but the
producers are like yo, there are two million horny grandmas watching this show. he is taking his shirt off and kissing something! all right people, that's your ray of sunshine for the day. and i hope you enjoyed it because when we come back we'll look at how a militia allegedly planned to kidnap the governor of michigan. we'll be right
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♪say it one more time ♪baby, i- i- i- can't wait♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ distancing show. by now it is safe to say that the ongoing pandemic is driving a lot of people crazy. we're feeling cooped up, anxious, it's been months since we finally admitted that we don't like breaking bread. but some people in michigan have taken their frustrations a little too far. >> there is a new focus on the threat of radical militia groups
in this country after the arrests of extremists accused of plotting to kidnap the governor of michigan. >> a considering to investigators the so called wolverine watchmen first plotted to storm the michigan capitol then settled on kidnapping governor whitmer at her lakeside vacation home. >> one charged in the kidnapping plot rebelled against the pandemic rules on social media. >> every single person that works for government is your enemy. >> their main complaint seeps to have been state restrictions imposed during the pandemic, especially the closing of gyms. >> trevor: goddam, these guys were so mad about gyms being closed that they tried to kidnap the governor? i mean i get that it is frustrating to not be able to go to your gym. but i feel like on the list of solutions, kidnapping the governor should be below doing some push-ups. i mean if you are upset about the gyms being closed, don't kidnap the governor. kidnap a personal trainer. in fact, kidnap my personal
trainer. he said tomorrow we would be doing burpees, i don't know what that means but i'm scared. can i just say angry white dudes are truly on some other level. i mean think about it, flint, michigan, had durtee water that poisoned its own citizens for years and those people stayed peaceful. but these guys form pale isis because they couldn't go to planet fitness. unfortunately this is hardly the firs time we heard about militias recentlily. they have been looming over protests and storming state houses since the early days of the pandemic. i'm not going to lie, this whole militia thunking in america still blows my mind. i mean when i first heard there was a group of young men who carried guns around and all dress alike, i thought you can't fool me, that is a gang. right? super white gang but that is a gang. my second thought was usually you only hear about armed militias in countries like afghanistan or sudan, you know. so why is this something that is also going on in america.
well, let's find out why in another installment of if you don't know, now you know. when you talk about militias am america, you have to start hundreds of years ago. although back then militias were a lot different than the ones we are seeing today. well regulated militias were actually quite important to the founders. they believe they were a bulwark against tyranny and they were worried that the big strong new central government might crush these state military forces. >> so what they did was they said we will have a militia, all able able-bodied res dents were able to be called forth by the government in defense of the state and once called forth, they answered to the government, they're trained by the government. they're directed and regulated by the government. >> the federal government was requiring everybody to be in the militias but the state tarted to get around it in the early 19th century because it was
so unpopular. so they created laws that there is an organization mill you werea and unorganized militia. and anybody who wants to participate in the militia actively will be part of the organized militia. that later became the national guard. >> this new arrangement titled the militia act will also be referred to as the duck law after its sponsor charles dick of ohio. >> trevor: yes, the dick law made a clear separation between organized and unorganized militias. and furthermore, none of are you paying attention right now either, are you thinking about diq law, giggling thinking about dick law, huh? so i'm trying to give you information and age go ahead, take your time, ha ha, i happy now. the point i was trying to make is like freedom of speech, and trash-- militias go back to the very begunking of america.
early america needed everyone to be ready to de fnd it at a moment's notice. it was a different world, i mean hell, canada was a threat to america back then, which is wild. like finding out mr. rogers used to be a cage fighter, things are changed but in today, militias are a lot like wiping your ass with leaves, they used to be all we had, but with all the progress society has made it if you are still doing that shit you are probably a little crazy. once militias were folded into the national guard, unofficial militias sort of disappeared from america. or at least for awhile. but in recent years they started to reemerge in a much different and disturbing form. >> paramilitary group firs t got traction in early 90s with high profile clashes in ruby ridge, idaho and waco, texas, their numbers dropped after the oklahoma city bombing but they have been on the rise since president obama took office. >> it is in part reaction to the election of mark's first black president. these groups start to expand
very rapidly. >> i think largely in response to the idea that the united stawts is becoming less white. >> you don't like blacks, you are racist and everything luke that because he is a black president. no, i don't care what color he is, there is something not right about him. >> militias grew nearly 800% during obama's presidency. as conspiracy theories, exaggerations and rumors surface online and in the far right media. >> they're going to take your guns under the ruse of preventing war. >> there were fears that he tried to stay in office indefinitely. is that he was a socialist and a muslim. >> even one wild rumor that he was going to invade texas. >> trevor: wow. militias exploded once obama became president? well, well, well. we meet again racism, i have been expecting you. >> it is almost like obama became president and then the entire country locked its door. and looking back on it, it is so
funny that these guys thought obama was going to try and stay president forever and invade texas. because as soon as he could, obama was out. winning oscars and kite surfing richard branson, so long, bitch, it is so weird how this works because these people openly admit to every single conspiracy theory they believe. but as soon as you ask them if if is because obama is black. then all of a sudden they are like what, come on man, no way. it is that other thing, that we don't like about him. >> oh, what's that? >> well, he's-- he's so tall. i mean what is he doing up there? so modern militias are not real military organizations. what sets them apart from other violent gangs is that they tend to act as if they are. >> these people are incredibly dangerous, they are running around luke a bunch of gi joes armed to the t. >> groups of civilians who are creating military structures in their organizations, collecting and storing arms, ammunition.
>> this is the kill house. >> move. >> part of a training ground for a right wing militia in the american south. >> this is for conducting military operations in urban terrain. we want to practice and rehearse moving up to these structures. >> you always want to be prepared for whatever could possibly come up within i'm training for a type of event that i will be wearing this 24/7. >> getting off the couch and doing something is extreme, than yeah, i'm be extremist. >> trevor: i don't think it is the getting off the couch aspect that makes you an, dreamist. i mean there is a lot of middle ground between getting offer the couch and decapitating mannequins in the woods. because that dude was purposefully describing the most benign part of what he was doing. it is like hannibel lechter saying well if setting the table and listening to classical music makes me a can i beal i guess i
in a cannibal. >> no, it was the heating human liver parts. >> that troo. >> what i don't get is if you want to dress in army fa teeg and train for war, you can do that in the military. and they will pay you. and they give you health care. this is like someone picking up strangers and just driving them around the city for free. come on, join uber, get yourself some of those stars. and look it's clear that these dudes have a warped ideology. but a big part of this is that these guys clearly need friends. they are lonely. they are scared of change. and this militia stuff gives them a sense of community. because of toxic masculinity the only way they can feel comfortable bonding is if it is based around violence. i just wish one day one of them would just be like hey guys, instead of spending all weekend canning beans and shuting in the woods do you want to just pab go out for brunch. >> thank you, i thought i was the on one thing that. i know a place that makes a gret eggs benedict.
>> so today's militias are less organized, and more heavily armed than the original one. but there is another big difference too. while the 18th century militias were formed to protect the country, the 21s century variety usually want to rip the country apart. >> most of the men charged with the criminal plot to kidnap michigan's governor gretchen whitmer have ties to the boogaloo movement. >> a term taken from a 194 comedy be started as a meme to refer sto a popular are you rising but dame into the rel world when armed men in hawaii shirts posed in lockdowns in michigan. >> tho aloha shutters are not for a law u, homeland security and department of justice have labeled them as violent extremists. >> this group has very serious potential threat, they have already been linked to two deaths in california, one including a federal officer. >> nair ideology is based on a notion of an impending second american civil war.
which they call civil war two electric boogaloo. >> so hold up. if i understand this correctly, the first civil war was for forced to end slavery and the second one will be because some assholes were bored. and people i did miss the memo where tropical gear became a white supremacist thing? these guys have hawaii shirts, the charleston white supremacists had tiki torches, what is next. instead of burning crosses the kkk will start roasting pigs, what people don't seem to understand is that a second civil war would be a disaster for america. because not only will it kill millions and destroy the country, also we would all have to grow muttonchops again. and i don't think i can pull off muttonchops. or could i is? you know what, maybe i could look good in muttonchops, okay, you know what, i'm ready, let's
do a civil war, i think i'm-- yeah. >> and that's the story of how militias started in america. what they have is turned into and why they is become one of the biggest threats to the united states of america. and if you don't know, now you know, we have to take a quick break, when we come back, roy wood, jr. goes back to his panel of black voters to find out how black people are going to vote. all of them? you don't want to miss right now at jimmy john's, you can get half off your second sandwich by using promo code "saveon2." greg booked another 7am meeting? wizards! wizard status! perfect for you, and your new co-worker. just use "saveon2," online or on our app.
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distancing show. during primary season roy wood, jr. sat down with a group of black voters in the atlanta area for what was a very interesting discussion. so interesting that this week roy de sueded to check in on them again. >> back when it was still safe to go outside i went to atlanta to speak with some black voters. actually i went to go to waffle house but i did talk with voters. now i have reconvened some of the members of that panel it get their thoughts about the election that is just a few weeks away. good to see all y'all again, i know we can't do there in person luke we did last time. how do you feel about this year's election. >> excited. >> it is going to be interesting to see if we can get a new person in office that is going to help get us moving versus trump. >> i think biden has a chance of winning. >> he has for eight years
experience as vice president. >> and he's not trump though. >> i would vote a cat over trump. doesn't matter at this point. >> what if it was a three legged racist cat. >> how racist. >> like it bites black people at protests, racist. >> yeah, still a cat. >> okay. a cat. so chris, i talked with you last year and we knew where you stood then, chris, who do you think understands the black voter. >> donald trump. >> huh? >> i'm sorry. >> has that position changed now that you have seen covid kills a disproportionate number of black people and unemployment and everything. has anything that has happened in 2020 swayed you off of trump in november? >> no, it hasn't, absolutely not. >> and i don't a agree what you said about the virus killing black people either. >> okay, he has obviously been in a cave somewhere. he has no idea what is going on. >> chris is not in a cave.
i'm completely in connection with the people out here. >> but chris, aren't you disappointed about something. >> i feel bad for what is going on with the other people out there, people losing thawr jobs, absolutely. the everything will be back to normal with my man trump in the white house. >> the normal like pandemic, forest fire, black people getting shot, no justice, you talking about that normal. >> no, i'm talking about the american normal. >> the white supremacists ache being out front and reasoning around and causing trouble kind of normal. >> i don't see white supremacists running around in the street, roy. i don't think y'all see anybody dropping dead from covid. i haven't seen that yet. >> me personally i lost two people, my aunt and uncle within five days of each other. due to covid. so it is real, and it is a thing as some people may not think that. >> we had a very close family
member that passed away back in march from covid. my brother-in-law died from it. so it is very personal. >> my condolences to those this have lost loved ones, okay. but it is like when you turn around and try to blame it on somebody else, and then when they are actually trying to help you by like getting a vaccine together, it's like no, trump can't do anything right a. >> trump dispannedded the pandemic response team so this whole thing could have never happened if he didn't do that. but anyway. >> we are in trouble as a nation right now. and we've been dealing with this the entire year. it's been going on the whole 2020. >> let me let's not act like 2020 was completely bad with. >> oh my gosh. >> don't get me wrong. all of this is terrible but also bad boys 3 bns looking back at 20206789 i like to count the good thunkings. to keep mee from dwelling on how trump downplayed a pandemic that
is disproportionately killing black people. but at least we finally know the answer to his question. >> to the african-american community, what the hell do you have to lose. >> monday you cana whack advice did you give to biden and kamala to ensure that they lock up this election? >> be true to your word. >> hang on, don't tell me, tell biden. don't tell me, tell biden. >> be true to your word, be true to who you are, be true to your word. >> hey baby what is going on, i'm the president, just talk to me and i will tell joe whatever you need him to know, just tell may. >> let's get this country back up and moving. >> lose ill, what would you say to kamala to ensure a victory in 2020? >> kamala, i like you. >> i like you too, are you such a nice looking lady. somebody say nice looking lady, joe. >> we need to get all the minorities, everyone, we need it get all the people out to vote especially the minorities.
>> lus ile, black people often feel that no matter whether they vote democrat or republican they get the short end of the stick, so a lot of them choose to not vote. what will you say to black people that are choosing to not sloat this election. >> we have to still try. if we don't vote, we know nothing is going to change. but at least if you do vote, you know you tried. >> democrat or republican, doesn't matter, left one, right wing, get out, get involved, and vote. >> and there you have it. despite all the things we fight about, there are some things we can all agree on. one, covid is real, two, if we all vote, black people could decide the next president. and three, there is really only one sane option. >> biden. >> trump. trump 2020 baby. >> well, two out of three ain't bad. >> trevor: thank you so much for that, when we come back i will be talking to the one and
distancing show. earlier today i soak with actor and activist wilmer valderrama. we talked about returning back to work on incomer clrks, s-- ncus, the importance of the latino community and upcoming presidential lek and what it is luke to live next door to your mom wilmer valderrama welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> such a pleasure to be here, sump a fanatic, thank you for happy to be here with you. >> honestly my pleasure because i have enjoyed watching you over the years. i mean you have done everything. from being one of the funniest people and playing fez in that 70s show and being one of the most hard cor people on ncus. i wanted to know, as somebody solving crimes all the time when you couldn't do your show during coronavirus, were you trying to solve crimes at home, how will were you keeping in shape. >> absolutely am hi my mom just
like hiding stuff from me so i could just like look for t you know? really go back and but no, way, it was really interesting. man, cuz you know, you get into a rhythm of doing what you do. and in that moment we were kind of called to just be a human. be a human being and sit back and like be okay with the uncertainty. >> a lot of people were separated and still are separated from their families but you made a decision that i thought was crazy when you made it, when i heard about it. they said wilmer bought his mom a house. i was like that is amazing. then they were like next door to his house. i was like this goi's crazy because wilmer, i love my mom but i would not buy her a house next door to me. like that must have been like the greatest gift during coronavirus now because obviously your family could be together. but surely at some point you were like this is a crazy decision. >> it was-- it made so much sense when i was thinking it, you know.
and then i realized oh, like we are a-- the house is really divided by some really aggressive, you know, bushes and you know there is no direct shot at my windows, so that felt, that felt safe. but you know, like you said, you know, the timing for it was really crazy, just to see your mom safe, your mom, especially as an immigrant, you can appreciate this. you know, the sacrifices they make before you can even have a sense of memory, so having her next door is amazing and also as i look to the future and having children, that is luke a built-in babysitter too, you know what i mean. >> that is what people forget. i tell people, when you move to like a western country, and all the things that they left from like third world countries are the things that they have to do. you have to buy babysitters, mom mom said i am the babysitter, don't worry about those things. within of the most amazing things is on your instagram,
during the worst moments of this pandemic is where you joined understand gram to tell stories about essential workers, you started a series called six feet apart. and it was a really beautiful showcase of everyone whether it was people delivering food, people helping others whether it was health care workers. tell me why you did that and why you fell like you would give your platform to them and it wouldn't be with you. >> i went to the grocery store and you know, my local grocery worker, i always say hey, what's up, what is going on. and i ask questions about her family and all that. and this day, this is like probably two, three weeks into the pandemic. how are you doing. and i'm doing okay. why are you do doing just okay, what is going on. and they were telling me that i don't know what it was, but it was walking thunkings up in people that they never expected. regular customers would come in and they would be be very, they would e very affected by anxiety and they had this moment to themselves where they would just lash out. and when she said that to me, she said it like her voice was
tremmably, like she has never been talked to that way. she has always been invisible to people and now for the first time they are now at target they are a target so i realized we were very removed for what st luke for the people that have to be there for 12 hours handling your money, bagging your groceries, cleaning the stuff after you, and i just felt like we were bet are than that. and the idea was to let me amplify, pie opinion, the same opinion as all of us in the house, but i think that if we can have a level of awareness of like what it is like or what it takes, you know, maybe we can have a little moment of harmony. >> the story has always included having people be counted which is you know the name of one of the initiatives that you started with america ferrara where you said we have to get out there. and we have to get people count. we have to get people registered to vote. we have to get people to be a part of the process that de
fines their lives. tell me about this process and tell me what you still think needs to be done for the latino community in america within one aspect of it is awareness. but the other one is self-awareness. i think our comeums have not discovered you know, their vital presence into our country. i think for most of us immigrants sometimes we are tend to push into a belief system that we still are guests in this country. and therefore we don't have a seat at the table. do you know what i am saying. i feel like sometimes we are taught that like listen, you should be grateful that you are here, you know, and the truth is that until we understand how many of us are here, until we understand it is not just one of us in a neighborhood, that a lot of our neighbors can relate to our interest, our likes and views and can relate to our cultures, no matter where you are from, so now when you look at the census and you think about what are the census, what is this thing and having to tell
people look, there is no citizenship question, that is going to be-- this is really to understand how many of us are in the neighborhood. and what programs you can be tailored to the needs of our communities. and you know, there is a level of confidence that comes with that. and then you have to give it that confidence, and that ability to know that there is more than two of us in the neighborhood. that we now, there is one or two of us in a household, eligible to vote, that it is critical that you represent your household because too much has been sacrificed. like now is the moment where we use all those sacrifices and pay it forward. so i think that that is to me-- i think we will talk about self-awareness an self-importance and understanding that this area, it is such a critical moment right now. talk about pennsylvania, about texas, about florida you talk about arizona, in how small of a number of the latino community would take for it to slip.
i mean this is a moment that we have to celebrate. we have done the work and now we have the numbers and now we have the demand to have a seat at the table. >> time to celebrate, time to be counted, time to stand up and do something. i'm happy you are back on set. we are excited to see the new season. thank you so much for enjoining me on the show. >> thank you. >> thanks wilmer. we will take a quick break, we will be right back after there. but before we go, if you are
registered to vote in this election then it's very likely that are you eligible to vote early, so please do it. go to vote vote vote.com to check your early voting options and make sure that your voice is heard. until tomorrow, stay safe out there, wear a mask and please before you kidnap the governor, try to kidnap the anger in your own heart. now here it is, your moment of zen. >> let's face it here, she is a personable, likable, intelligent person who has done great things in her life, no question about that. but there is an orange cloud over her nomination in the trumps of donald tweet. captioning made possible by comedy central - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪
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