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tv   The Daily Show With Trevor Noah  Comedy Central  November 3, 2021 11:00pm-11:46pm PDT

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>> trevor: anybody a braves fan in here? no one? fine, let's talk about them. they won the world series. here is a question i have, maybe you guys can explain this to me, as a nonamerican. why are they still doing the chop thing, the tomahawk chop sth like i see that in the stands, why, like why are they doing that? how is that still a thing. also why is it that white people never seem to have rhythm until some racist shit? black, it's really convenient to me, like when are you come on, dance with me, i don't even know. then are you like tomahawk chalk, everyone in unison, bam, bam, hit your mark.
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within coming to you from the heart of time square in new york city, the only city in america. it's "the daily show." tonight america's sees red. representative katie port yer and charlamagne the god. this is the daily show with trevor noah. >> trevor: hey, what's going on, everybody. welcome to "the daily show," i'm trevor noah. let's jump straight into today's headlines because wow. yesterday was election day. and it was not a good day for the democrats. yeah, last night was the worst night for the democrats since kamala harris went out for cigarettes and never came back. so let's get into the democrat's disastrous night in our new and maybe frequently recurring segment, the red wedding. ♪ all right, let's start in the
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city that shook up the world in 2020, since the police killing of george floyd minneapolis citizens have been debating whether they should make defund the police a reality in their city. so yesterday they finally voted on the plan that would reorganize and rename the police department, give some of their functions to nonpolice and make cops more accountable. and that ballot measure lost by 12 points. which let me tell you now in politic sts not that close. it's not losing a football game by 12, it like losing a baseball game by 12, that locker room is quiet. one reason it thros is probably because the did he tails of the plan were complicated and what some voters heard was just the phrase "abolish the police" because not a lot of people have time in their life to read the text of legislation. and the people that like to spend their free time reading bills, well they could explain it to their friends, but they don't have any. but other voters did understand the plan and they just didn't
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want it. >> the african-american community is in a quandary because historically and currently we are abused by police disproportionately. and on the other hand, we also are abused and killed by our neighbors. and so it is a quandary we are in. and when you live here though, you realize that we can't sacrifice one to address the other. >> trevor: yeah, i see where that man is coming from. because even if black people don't love cops, the situation for them is more nuanced than you might think. i mean even n-wa didn't want to a poll lish the police, yeah, [bleep] the police but you still need to have them around to [bleep], and by the way, just as an aside, it must be so hard to be a black barber, hey? because 90% of your shop is always just filled filled with reporters trying to interview black people, just like yo, hey, man, black people go to other
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places too you ever go to a grocery store, shit, i'm trying to cut hair. but let may tell you my views on this issue as well. now that you are here. but aside from the rejection of police reform in minneapolis there were-- first of all they barely, eked out a victory in the race for governor of new jersey. and that state is more blue than an orgy of smurfs but the bigger loss was in virginia or as it is known by its full name east west virginia because virginia has been becoming more and more democratic for years now. they voted for the first black president. and the first black-faced governor. so everyone expected them to elect another democratic governor. but virginia had other plans. >> republicans reigned, glenn youngkin the projected win in virginia's high-stakes battle for governor, a stunning reversal in a democratic state. >> all righty, virginia, we con this thing-- we won this thing. >> nar lee teng-hui defeating his democratic de upon ent terry
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mcauliffe in a state governor biden won by ten points just one year ago. >> that is why they are in the o valt office there is a big red warning light flashing right now after what happened in virginia, with the republican win. >> it do be a red flag for the upcoming mid terms for democrats. >> trevor: okay, okay, i know there were a lot of factors here but whatever this was, this, that definitely didn't help. and i guess you know what they say, dance like nobody is voting for you. and what is especially shocking about this result is that joe biden won virginia by ten points just a year ago. that is a huge swing, people. that is like kim kardashian going from kayne to pete davidson level swing. now on the one hand this is just one race to lead one state. please don't get me wrong. but as you heard it could also be a bell weather of the things to come in the mid terms next year, the same way your girlfriend is saying that guy is cute is a bell weather that you
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are going to be single soon. so why did democrats do so badly in virginia last night. well, it it depends on who you ask. >> this is a major defeat for the democratic party. yes it's a referendum on president biden. >> voters are disappointed in biden, angry at biden, distressed about what other things they see, about inflation. >> the problem with democrats is they made this about trump and trump was not on the ballot. >> youngkin cut into mccallive by focusing on education, including the controversial critical race theory. >> there is no doubt critical race theory is a weapon that he utilized to great effect. >> the message tonight is the liberal policies that are being pushed right now through washington are not necessarily very successful. >> this is not a referendum on liberal versus progressive versus moderate in the democratic party. this say referendum on the fact that they haven't gotten anything done. >> it twoob bad enough if democrats had one reason they lost, but they have like 50.
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i mean it is biden's unpopularity trk is worries about the economy. it is the fact that the pandemic is still hanging around like the tootsie rolls three weeks after halloween. and then the strategy part, i mean democrats kept trying to fire up their base by making this race about donald trump, but here is the thing. trump wasn't running. honestly, democrats, you should enjoy this break from trump while you can. because after he wins in 2024 and declares himself emperor, you will be running against him forever. and on the republican side, i mean there is no denying that glen youngkin was fearmongerring about critical race theory played a roll and honestly, this is where republicans really excel. they set the agenda. they know how to play the gaism. because a year ago if you asked anyone what critical race theory was they would be like i have no idea what you are talking about, but if you ask them now they will be like i still have no idea what you are talking about, but i'm terrified of it.
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and it is not just critical race theory. republicans have been doing this for decades and they are great at it. every thing america fights about, they started, only cultural war, the transpeople want to use your bathroom, the gays want to defile marriage, there say war on christmas, they're trying to kill santa. >> dead people and illegal immigrants are voting. they are smart, but you need to understand that if they can set the agenda, then they can choose the fight. like if i'm going to fight floyd mayweather i'm not going to choose him in the ringk i will choose to fight him in a speeling bee, yen, then we soo who the greatest of all time is, champ, c-h-a, m, p, champ. for the most part dem cats won't don't want to engage on culture wars because they think they can win on policy alone but where that fall as part is they are not getting anything actually done. because all their ideas are tied up in in-fighting and bickering.
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and that makes a difference. makes a huge difference in messaging because when republicans say democrats are teaching your kids that white people are all bad, what can democrats say, no. we're not doing that. okay, then what are you doing? >> well, right now we're trying to get you six weeks of paid leave. >> huh? >> that is no, 0 weeks. okay, no paid leave but we are getting you free college. huh? what is that, okay, no free college. but we are rating tacks on rich people what is that, no, we're cutting the taxes on rich people. and that is the democrat promise >> here is a simple message to the democrats am you can come with all the nice ideas in the world, but if you can't make the changes that you promised, then best believe voters are being to make some changes of their own? all right, when we come back, we'll take a look at a secret trick to get you all out of debt. you don't want to miss
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♪ ♪ ♪i put in the work all day i put in the work all day♪
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♪them man are doing this thing part time♪ ♪no i'm doing this thing all day♪ ♪i put in the work all day i put in the work all day♪ ♪look, no i don't care what you think or say♪ ♪i put in the work all day♪ ♪ ♪ ♪i put in the work all day♪ show." let's talk about johnson and johnson. right now you probably know them best as the bronze medal winner in the 2021 vaccine olympics. they just beat out the trinidadian vaccine that turned
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nicki minaj's cousin friend into a bean bag chair, while their vaccine is getting the most attention now, j & j is also responsible for hundreds of other products and brand. they basically make everything in a walgreen's aside from the christmas decorations. and those action figures divorce dad buy on their way to their kid's birthday. but one of the signature johnson & johnson products has landed them in some big legal and financial trouble. and we'll tell you the shocking way that they are trying to get out of it in another installment of bad companies. >> since 1886 johnson & johnson's name has been on everything. baby oil, shampoo and conditioner, moisturizer, dwayne the rock johnson, but one of their most iconic products is talcum baby powder. and while it might have kept our downstairs dry, it it also may have caused some veryhamful side effects. >> johnson & johnson is facing
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thousands of lawsuits over allegations that some of its talcum powder was contaminated with asbestos. >> it has been a product main stay for johnson & johnson nor decade, now talcum baby powder is at the center of multiple investigations, at issue has the company hidden evidence that is baby powder is linked to asbestos and ovarian cancer in women who use it around their again tales. j & j has long since denied the claim but now document revealed the company knew about the presence of small amounts of asbestos in its products, as far back as 1957. but did not disclose that to the public. >> thousands of people have sued j & j. some winning tens of millions of dollars in judgments. >> johnson & johnson ordered to pay $55 million to a south dakota woman who blamed her o var kran cancer on the company's talcum powder. a st. louis joir awarded her more than 110 million. >> a jury awarding a california woman $417 million dollars.
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>> one single verdict for $20 women exceeded $2 billion. >> trevor: who we, that is a lot of lawsuits. you know you [bleep] up when your company is giving away more money than powerball. i get why it st happening. guys, you cannot be selling baby powder with absz action in it. people are rubbing the stuff all over their bodies. not to mention the cocaine dealers who mix it in with their products, now you got innocent coke heads snorting action asbestos, it is unacceptable. the experts at johnson & johnson, they have found a cure, but unfortunately, it is not a cure for the cancer, it is for the company's legal problems. >> johnson & johnson is filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy bsh bsh bankruptcy in hopes of what the company says of disposing of 40,000 lawsuits. >> in order to limit their liability and shield their corporate assets johnson & johnson pulled something that is actually known as the texas legal loophole, also known as
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the texas two step defense. >> jafter j is this superrich health products company headquartered in new jersey. so j & j went to texas and using a quirk of that state's laws they created a completely new company called ltl. then johnson & johnson durched all the liability for these baby powder asbestos lawsuits, tens of billions of dollars of legal risk into this new firm, then the new company ltl quickly filed for bankruptcy. >> critics say the company is abusing the legal system and have called the bankruptcy filing a gimmick. >> trevor: yee what, the texas two-step, i will spin that jury round and round, change your name and slay the town. ♪ do i get a record deal? this is instain,-- insane, people. johnson & johnson is pretty much trying to do the first thing everyone thinks of when they get caught. blame it on their evil identical twib. i mean we've all tried it. the only difference is it is
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show actually works if you are a powerful corporation. honestly, i'm almost impressed. i just wish they put as much effort into covid immunity as they did into their legal immunity. as crazy as this is, j & j is hardly a trail blazer when it comes to abusing bankruptcy laws to get out of trouble. >> purdue pharma filed for bankruptcy as the maker of oxy con toin-- con tin tries to protect itself from mounting lawsuits. they naid billions off oxycontin, the bankruptcy is way to protect them from nearly 3,000 lawsuits. >> the boy scouts of america have filed for bankruptcy protection after an onslaught of the-of-of lawsuits alleging rampant sexual abuse of children for decades. >> they may claim that they don't have the ability to play these-- pay these claims but the real reality is they use the bankruptcy to really continue to hide and shield themselves from real liability and force disclosure. >> the roman catholic church is
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one of the world's wealthiest institution, across the united states priest abuse victims now adults are lining up to sue their diocese for damages. >> but the church is going to extraordinary lengths to protect its a sets and that strategy is bankruptcy. >> chapter 11 was not designed to protect organizations who have engaged in criminal conduct or basically protecting criminal conduct. it was designed to give companies who made bad business decisions a new start. >> yeah, i'm sorry. purdue pharma is not bankrupt, and the catholic church is definitely not bankrupt. ain't no bishop rolling too pawn shops asking how much they can get for that michelangelo ceiling. now the boy scouts are the ones where i'm like yeah, you might actually be broke. these guys are rubbing sticks together to start a fire, my man, 12 pack of bic lighters is three bucks, get your lifing to. but for real we know it is all
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bullshit and shielding superrich corporations from punishment isn't what bankruptcy protection is supposed to be about. fortunately there say movement in congress to end some of these a us boos of bankruptcy laws. here to talk about it is california congresswoman katie porter. representative porter, welcome to "the daily show." >> thank you so much. >> trevor: let's jump straight into the issue at hand. i didn't know this before i was reading up on this issue but you taught bankruptcy law for years before joining congress, and now once again bankruptcy is in the conversation with johnson & johnson. them wanting to split off their baby powder company as a separate entity so johnson & johnson as a whole can't be held liable for what happened to so many people out there. from a bankruptcy expert point of view as somebody who studied it and taught it, what are we missing in these conversations when we allow companies to file bankruptcy to ta void some kind of liability. >> i think it is fundamentally a prosh about preventing corporate
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abuse. and bankruptcies really the tool that these corporations are using to avoid liability for the damage and harm that they cause, in this case many, many, many getting devastating and deadly cancers from using baby powder laced with asbestos. but fundamentally this isn't really a bankruptcy problem. it is a larger problem about how do we make sure that companies that make money are also on the hook for paying for the harm that they cause along the way. and that is the problem we see in environmental issues, with offshore drilling, noarks, and oil leaks. it is a problem we see with product liability. and so this is one more sample of it trk but but the bankruptcy issue here does i think tend to be a place for corporations have been very successful at getting off the hook. >> why does it steam individuals are held to a different stands than corporations, that if i do something it to you i would be forced to pay for that or i would be forced to make amends for what i had done but if i was a corporation do something to you i can show get off, we fill saw with it the family with the
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opioid crisis, millions of americans are either dead or have addicted to drugs because of this open yad-- opiate crisis, i think the key thing similar to the johnson & johnson is that they knew. we find out time and time again that the companies knew what they were doing was harming people. it wasn't a mistake. and then not only did they not say anything, but oftentimes they pushed their product even more. like is there any shift amongst yourself and your colleagues in holding these companies accountable. >> absolutely. so we're working on legislation that would limit company's ability to do this, so it is important to remember the entire idea of a corporation is to in fact protect the owners from being fully liable for things that go wrong. and the idea is if we were all on the hook for everything we did wrong, we would not take risks. we would not invent new products. we would not develop new things. so that principal is good but it has to have found a limit. and what we're seeing with the johnson & johnson, with the
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stack letters is companies exploit a combination of state and federal law to get off the hook. the whole point of bankruptcy is to help companies or people who cannot pay. johnson & johnson can pay. this is a company with $440 billion dollars, it is perfectly capable of paying for the harm it caused. >> trevor: one of the more disturbing facts from the story is the fact that johnson & johnson specifically targeted black women to use the product even though they knew that they were harmful. and they knew that i think 60 percent of their customer base of that talc powder was specifically black women. i think it st definitely erodes the trust that people have in these companies. it erodes their trust in whether they can be held accountable. and then there is no denying, even now with vaccines, a lot of people in the black community are saying we don't trust any of these pharmaceutical companies. we don't trust america's medicine and history with us as black people.
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and now there is going to be some people who say well then why should i get the johnson & johnson vaccine, how can i trust that. are you prepared for, you know, what this means, have you thought about how the fallout of johnson & johnson could affect i think a larger health messaging? >> i think that is a really interesting point. i do want to toab one really important difference about vaccines. exactly because we have in our country less bad actors who have foot products, into the product scene, that have hurt people, get off the hook. we've taken a different approach for vaccines. so anyone who believes that they were harmed by a vaccine, doesn't have to look to the manufacturer. you can go directly to a vaccine fund that already exists, because we're not going to make people. we want people to take back things and we want to reassure them that there will be damages. if they think they are harmed, there is a place to report that and get the help that they deserve and the justice that
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they may need. so we have actually i think on vaccines corrected this injustice. the problem is we haven't done it for all of these other products, including as you mentioned, opioids, including johnson & johnson and the baby powder and other kinds of dangerous products in the marketplace. and it ask true by the way for things, baby seats, car seats another issue i worked on, baby food, baby formula, this is a chronic problem where companies put things in the marketplace, they know they are dangerous and then they use corporate laws to try to deny justice to those that they hurt. >> before i let you go, i would be remiss if i did not talk to you about what the whole country is waiting to see, a move on, and that is the build back better plan. many people are frustrated understandably at the fact that they votedded for democrats. the democrats are now in power. they want to see something happen. they want to stee a change in their health care, you know, whether it is dental and vision. they want to see a change in college and the price that
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people pay. they want to see changes in the things democrats promise and key changes in, yet now it feels like not only is nothing happening but the promise list is slowly being whittled down to a very small group of things. i mean the last i saw, now the richest people would be getting tack cuts. what is your message to the american public and what is your message to your colleagues who may be holding up the system as you see the results. i mean in virginia, speaking for themselves? >> we are definitely as close as we have ever been to moving this bill. i just heard my colleague that was in a meeting and we were all like let's go now, i think we are ready to do it. and i want to say, there are times of the prosis we tried to get this done and haven't gotten all of them. i have to be honest. i never thought as a working mom, as a single parent in this country, that i would ever see my government understand how hard it is to ta ford child care. whatever understand how important it is it it give
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little kids, preschoolers, trod ellers that early childhood education i need. i never thought, it would finally stand up to big oil companies and fossil fuel companies and protect tour planet and we are actually going to do those things in this bill. and i will tell you, everybody understands that this bill is the beginning of delivering on the president's promises, it st not the end. and so i feel very, very good that we are going to pass these programs. they are going to improve people's lives. we have to kep on delivering for americans and we appreciate their patient as we get this done. >> well, representative porter, thank you so much for teakk the time tand hopefully we'll see you back on the show again soon. >> thank you so much. >> trevor: all right, when we come back, i will be talking to the one and only charlamagne the god. so don't go away
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i wonder what ruffles would be like without ridges. it would be like t-pain without auto-tune. ♪baby yeah, oomph!♪ how's that? did we get it? perfect. it's kinda like uh... like a coach without the will to win. uh, everyone just run around and then uh, somebody just shoot. maybe on three? [together] maybe. or like you without your... my basketball skills? your basketball skills. ruffles. own your ridges. what else would it be... nothing else. [crunch] deon, hand it over. now how does that make you feel? like a part of me is missing. gabrielle? this old spice fiji hand and body lotion has me smoother than ever. that's what it does. (vo) singing, or speaking. reason, or fun.
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"the daily show," my next against is lenard mckelvey, aka charlamagne the god. is he here to talk about the god's honest truth, his weekly late night series for comedy central. >> michael meyers being how many phobic is complete bull [bleep]. black foams in horror movie getting killed first before the lights go down in the theater we dead. all right. and not once have i seen a horror vilan been called racist. and women have been getting killed in horror movies pore ever. and not once has a horror vilan been called sexist, so as far as i'm concerned, this is what diverse representation looks like, all right? a couple that happens to be gay getting murdered in a horror
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film is not prejudice, it's progress. >> trevor: that is true progress, murder for all, what is going on. >> trevor, what is up my brother. >> trevor: how are you doing, how are you. >> i am doing great. i want to know about you, let's start with the most pressing question that i have, you moved into my old building, is it treating you well, are you paying the rent, what is going on there. >> i'm not paying the rent but hopefully doing fluff to deep the lights on. you know t say beautiful place,. >> trevor. >> did you have a name for t twe called it the happy disept. >> the happy accident. >> stephen colbert, executive producer on the show, he always talked about how his career was a happy accident, and us up in that building was a happy accident. my show rachel edwards her company is called happy accident llc which i didn't know, until me and steph stephen were having a conversation on set and she happened to be standing by. and she came over and let us know that her company is called the happy accident llc. >> >> trevor: like a cosmic. >> a lot of divine alignment,. >> trevor: i like that. well congratulations on the show. >> thank you. >> trevor: i'm enjoying
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watching you do your thing, watching you grow ef reweek, you know what i enjoy about it,k it feels like the show is very much charlamagne in that it is you molding yourself to the space. >> it is very much lenard, you know. >> trevor: let's talk about that. >> who is lenard. >> lenard is the person that charlamagne was kind of created to protect, you know. because lenard is the kid that grew up in south carolina who had a lot of issues that he might not have dealt with, so he created the character charlamagne to protect him. now i'm older, you can't really hide lenard, you can't hide lenard when you know he is the father of four beautiful daughters and you can't really hard len ards in therapy for the past six years, written two books and given so much of himself. it feels easier to be lenard, at this point fz that is inspiring man. >> yeah. >> trevor: i feel like i should also tell the people my real name. >> what is your real name. >> trevor:-- it is time for me. >> that's true though, are you
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from south africa. >> trevor: trevor is the name i made up, people. >> i believe him. >> is st true. >> trevor: no, i wish that was true. but you know what i love about this, this is what i am enjoying about the show and your journey as a human being is let's be honest, hip-hop and mental health have not exactly been aligned. hasn't been like a culture of like this is how hard i am. and this is when i go to my therapist, that hasn't exactly been in the world am when did you decide that therapy shouldn't be a secret thing that i can conduct in a room once a week or whatever. this needs to be in the open. >> i thought i was going crazy because you know, for me, i had all of the success, right. you know new york times best selling book, nationally syndicated radio show, everything was going great, but i literally was not happy, you know what i mean. so i was dealing with like extreme bouts of depression and anxiety started to get worse. i remember actually being on vacation and i had this moment of peace where i didn't feel any of that. and i hadn't felt that in probably ever because i dealt with panic attacks my whole
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life. so i literally was like how can i feel like this all the time without going on vacation. that is when i started the journey, in 2016 of going to therapy. and at the same time i started writing my book, so i was peeling back so many different layers, starting in therapy, starting with writing the book and it would be like, it wouldn't be authentic of me to go on the radio and talk about anything else other than what i was going through. >> trevor: its had become a big part of yufer-- instagram is dedicated to it, your show, the god's honest truth, talking about racism, the democrats, politics and then it is like oh, we're doing a thing on mental health. >> god, black women and therapy are my life source, those are my sources of power. at this point in my life. you know what is crazy, i got a wolverine tattooed on my armk when was 17, south carolina where tattoos it were illegal, i t willis, did he there tattoo on my arm and i always gravitated toward wolverine because it is a healing power. i didn't know what bhe hell that
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was when i was 17, i just thought it was cool that this dude could bounce back from anything. now at this age, this point in my life i'm sitting back like that is all i wanted to do dedicated my life to not only my healing journey. >> trevor: try to be an emotional wolverine. >> exactly. >> trevor: right. won't make the same money at the box office but it will be a fulfilling journey. >> exactly. >> trevor: he's bleeding to death but feels good inside. the god's honest truth, i love the title. >> thank you. >> trevor: you had one of biden's people on the show. you know, you grilled him, a lot of people loved the question what has joe biden done for black people. seeing that black people are the reason that he is in the seat he is in now. >> i'm actually just concerned because i'm an american citizen and i feel like the death of democracy is at our doorstep, simply because there are things that the democratic party could be doing in particular, the biden administration that they are not doing. >> trevor: such as. >> number one, you got to get rid of the filibuster so you can
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properly govern. i think you have to prosecute the people who attempted the cup on this country son january-- january 6th not the people physically but the politicians it that may have been behind it. i think you have to pack the supreme court, you teutly positively have to especially when you see the supreme court, the supreme court is literally holding up handmade shall-- in texas. >> trevor: feel come with the opposite argument and go when does the swing end in america because then mitch mcconnell goes you do this now and so they will not get in the powerk i will double pack the court and you will see what happens to you within does if matter because if you do what you are supposed to do by your people, you might not ever have to worry about being out of power. right now they have some real concerns, as a matter of fact, they are going to lose in 2022, let's call it what it is, you know they will louse in 2022 because they haven't fulfilled any of the promises they said they were going to fulfill and the fact they actually could do it, when you see this joe
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manchin, kyrsten sinema blocking biden's agenda. insinema, it if those two people blocking biden's agenda and they are democrats what does that say to the people that voted for them. like we put y'all in ostlesz to thep our interests but now you got two of your own blocking your interests. trump would never allow that. it. >> trevor: that is true. >> do you think we allow two people in his party, he would have nicknames for them, he would be mad at you for correcting il him on the first name. >> no sinema. >> yeah, so i'm concerned. >> trevor: okay. >> i really am concerned. >> trevor: i will tell people to watch your show but i haven't been invited to it. >> i would love to have you on. >> trevor: i. >> i don't know how the comedy central pot protocol workings. >> trevor: now there is protocol, has there ever been protocol. you text me random things, now there is protocol. >> no, i would love to have you on. >> trevor: i appreciate it, thank you so much for being here. all right, the god's honest truth with charlamagne the god
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is friday at 10 p.m. on comedy central and streams on paramount plus, if you do not do cable. we'll take a quick break and be right back after for
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tonight, but before we go please consider supporting when we all vote, it is a national nonpartisan initiative to change the culture around voting and to increase participation in each andev ree election by helping to close the race and age of voting gap, if you want to support their work then donate at the link below. until tomorrow, stay safe out there. get your vaccine and remember, if you are a democrat whose upset about the way the election went, remember, there is always next year when it's really going to hurt. now here it is, your moment of zen.
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♪ captioning sponsored by captioning sponsored by comedy central - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪
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- oots! all: oots! - oots! all: oots! - oots! all: oots! - oots! all: oots! - oots bung sow! - oots! - oots bung sow, chaa! - cartman san, what are you doing? - i'm doing some sweet bung sow moves. i'm a little better than everyone else here. - eric-san you must follow direction. you rack a dis-a-prin! - nuh-uh, i don't rack a disa-prin! - minna-san! you all need more dis-a-prin! true dis-a-prin come from within! we are out of time. i will see you on tuesday. cherup! all: oots! - dude, we gotta hurry home!
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the final episode of lost is on soon! - yeah, let's go! - wait... where's my dad? - he knew he had to take us all home too, right? - yeah. dad? where the hell could he have gone? - oh, hey, sorry boys. - later, randy! - all right, i'll see ya, nelson! - dad, weren't you watching? - nah, i ran into nelson from work. we were over at the bar watching the game. two dollar margaritas! it was great. all right, come on, i'll drive you boys home. - are you sure you're all right? - oh, yeah, i'll be fine. i got some beers to keep my buzz going. - dad, aren't you supposed to, like, not drink and drive? - i'm not drinking and driving. i'm driving while i'm drinking! right, boys? - sure, whatever dude. - oh, i gotta pee, hand me that empty bottle, stan. - what? just pull over. - stan you need to learn some things about being a man. now give me that bottle. there's a...reason god made our penises like little hoses, boys. hold the wheel, stan. when you boys start driving, you're gonna need to learn to do this too.

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