tv The Daily Show With Trevor Noah Comedy Central December 8, 2021 1:15am-2:00am PST
need a trailer. i can't watch a trailer for the matrix. i know everything i need to about this movie. what are you watching a trailer for? i want to know if they're going to punch. i think they will. i wonder if there are will be guns. i guarantee it. slow motion? i'll put money on that one as well. wear black? there are a few things i can put money on that's definitely going to be happening. movie going to be bald. last time i checked. what is the trailer going to tell me about the matrix? it's a waste of my time. it will only spoil the experience. a trailer will peak your interest. you can't have a trailer for a movie that already existed. after 20 or 30 seconds, i look into my popcorn and ignore everything. i refuse. if they're going to make a new godzilla or king kong movie, all the trailer needs to be is this,
bump, bump, bump, bump, then you see an eye, aaahhh! i'm going to come watch it. ( laughter ) >> coming to you from the heart of times square in new york city, the only city in america, it's "the daily show." tonight, houses are too expensive. k-pop! and governor gavin newsom. this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! >> trevor: hey, what's going on? welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. let's jump straight into today's headlines. there's a lot going on in the world today the big international news is that president biden held a video meeting with vladimir putin to warn him not to invade ukraine. yeah. and a video chat is a tough way for both these guys to do diproposaly especially because even when he's in person biden talks like he's got a bad connection. come on, man, you gotta -- the thing we're trying to do on the
boarder -- come on, man -- joe, you are cutting out. i can't hear. reboot. i reboot for you. i have access to white house servers, not kamala, she doesn't use bluetooth. not like everyone else. now cars, they're on fire for a new feature that allows drivers to play video games like solitaire on the dashboard screen while driving, yeah, which, guys, come on, how are we supposed to drive and play video games and text and eat breakfast and do our makeup and flip off other drivers for not paying attention to the road? too much now, people. i can't emphasize this enough, it's not worth dying in a car crash just to play a video game. marine, at least not solitaire. you know, if god of war was on i'd drive off a cliff. but solitaire, st. peter will be roasting your ass at the pearly
gates. solitaire? your bitch ass died playing solitaire? mother teresa, come hear this, bring jeffrey epstein with you. this shit is crazy! what? jeffrey epstein is in heaven? are we going to carry on like that didn't happen? let's make a bachelorette party in tennessee where another confederate at that statue is reload. nathan bed flash bedford forest. i feel it should have been kept up. this shit is hilarious. when seen a statue when the general looks like he's shooting his way out of a saloon. his horse doesn't even have reins. looks like he stole a horse in
red dead redemption. i'm going to get out of here! who makes a statue of your moment of panic? he looks like he just found out what a barack obama is. they said what? he's the ruler of who? aaahhh! we don't need to take down con n fete rat statutes. if this general looked like this in real life, explains a lot. he probably said at the klan rally, we should all wear pillow cases over our faces. to scare the darkies? sure, that's why. the main story. for decades, owning a home has been one of the core parts to have the american dream, just below dating pete davidson. but right now actually buying a home is harder than matt gaetz watching the new saved by the bell. >> with the housing market red
hot perspective buyers trying not to get burned as demand rises, so intense that red fin says homes are selling within a week after hitting the market. >> prospective buyers in bidding wars, homes selling hours after being posted. >> in an open hours, 50 cars in a line outside waiting to see that property. >> people are so desperate they'll court favors, get potential sellers tickets to rare events. >> even houses with notorious histories are selling. this is the 100-year-old med mediterranean style home in l.a. where the charles family murdered their victims in 1969 but, in today's market, it was snapped up for $1.8 million. >> trevor: okay, okay, i know what you're thinking right now, why on earth would you buy that house? someone was murdered there!
exactly. someone has already been murdered there. what are the odds it will happen again? i mean, i'd sleep like a baby in that place. seriously, people, the housing market has gotten crazy in america. some people are buying a house just hours after it's posted online. a house! hours! meanwhile, i read reviews for six months before i decide which water bottle to pie. now that i think about it, i should have gotten a blue one. question is, why has it become so hard to buy a home in america? well, let's find out why. in another installment of if you don't know now you know. >> trevor: when it comes to why the housing market has gotten so insane lately it's kind of a perfect storm of many different factor. you've got not enough homes built to keep up with the population growth, you've got historically low mortgage rates so more people can buy houses, and then on top of that, more
people are able to work from home. so they're leaving the city for the suburbs where maybe, yes, there's not mention excitement, but you and your spouse have way more space to murder your neighbors. but turns out there's something else driving up demand for homes and that's who is competing for them more than ever before, starting with the guys who tend to ruin everything, wall street. >> with home prices soaring to record highs, there are mounting questions about the billions of dollars big financial firms are pouring into the market and pricing out some would-be buyers. >> blackstone has been in a single family home buying rampage to begin late last year going head to head with other major wall street players. >> large financial firms often backed by public equity ramped out single family homes. computer algorithms are used to identify desirable property so they bid quickly. >> the offers come in all quash,
sight unseen, so as soon as the house hits the market, you've got an offer and they were ready to close within a few days. >> 25 to 35% of the houses in this neighborhood are owned by wall street landlords. >> one of them is invitation homes which owns more than 12,000 single-family houses in the atlanta area, nationwide more than 81,000. three other large firms own more than 100,000 homes combined, one just announced a $5 billion fund to buy more. >> trevor: okay, okay, i know what you're thinking right now. why on earth would we allow wall street to mess with the housing market? they caused the housing crisis! yeah, exactly! they already caused a housing crisis. what are the odds it happens again? i'd sleep like a baby in that place! but, yes, wall street is now buying up tons of homes across america because what better way to fix your image problem than to become the nation's biggest landlord. and regular people trying to buy homes don't have much of a
chance against wall street. wall street usually has more money, that's their whole thing. your only hope is to try to distract them by asking how their crypto is doing and by the time they're done answering you will be in escrow. turns out, there's another group that's driving up prices, and they're not bankers. yeah, it's not evil greedy bankers. in fact, it's your mom. >> there is a generational fight that's playing now and partially to blame for most expensive home prices. >> you've got 90 million millennials, largest generation in u.s. history storming the marketplace and really looking for that dream of homeownership to start building wealth through owning their own property. >> we have millennials aging into their home buying years. baby boomers meanwhile are healthier, living longer and they want to age in place. baby boomers are looking to downsize while millennials and gen xeres are looking for smaller, entry level homes.
>> so many baby boomers are active in the housing market it's been harder for millennials to buy a house and boomers have more money to outbid them. >> trevor: that's right, boomers are dominating the housing market and there's an eight-hour beatles movie on tv. whoo! living their best lives what's best for them. this sucks for us millennials. this isn't the plan. you boomers were supposed to get old and we would sell your shit and move you into gnarsing home where you get all the jell-o and geriatric hand jobs you want and we get to take your house. you get to destroy the plan et and we get the rec rooms, damn it! young people in particular in a difficult spot when it comes to buying a home and they really only have two choices. they live in the woods, you know, make a home out of sticks and mud and join book clubs with squirrels or get really creative. >> a new trend hitting the housing market.
>> millennials are teaming up with friends to buy their dream home together. for a lot of these new homeowners doing this is the only way they're able to afford the home. >> a growing numbers of americans were abandoning cities and flocking to suburbs finding dream homes in far flung places. >> more millennials are buying fixer uppers. a big draw, they're often cheaper, for as little as $20,000. >> where are they finding the gems? they do house shopping on instagram on a place called cheap old houses. >> why do you think millennials are attracted to cheap old houses? >> it's cheap and home. >> trevor: sometimes reporters ask the dumbest questions. why do millennials love crappy old houses nobody else wants? because us the their only option. like asking me in grade school, trevor, what draws you to a life of spending recess with your imaginary friends? i mean, do you know how hard it
is to buy houses off instagram? you got to slip into the house's d.m.s -- yo, does the carpet match the drapes? i need to know, man, i got a budget. that's where we are right now. thanks to boomers and wall street, owning a home may soon no longer with the american dream. the good news is if you wait around long enough you might still get a chance to date pete davidson. for a personal perspective on the nation's housing crisis and what can be tone about it we turn now to desi lydic. desi, i understand that you have been looking for a house recently. is that correct? >> yes, i have. i had a two bedroom apartment but too small with three kids running around. >> trevor: i didn't know you have three kids. >> i don't know. i don't know whose kids they are. they showed up and wouldn't leave so i had to. >> trevor: sorry to hear that. how has your house search gone? >> it was rough at first. demand is high, people are
desperate, the open houses get mad if you take all the cookies, but thanks to a little outside the box thinking, i finally found the place of my dreams. >> trevor: wow, desi, it looks amazing. >> yeah, yeah, it is. it's got a chef's kitchen, walk-in closets. five washer dryers for all the cult members and a rain shore. >> trevor: what was the last part? >> the rain shore? >> trevor: tid you say a cult? did you join a cult? >> okay, look, i know what you're thinking, but let me tell you what, if you want a house in this economy, your best option is the blessed door of our god king craig. why pay half your salary for a three bedroom house when for free you can live in a 75 bedroom compound and comes with a gym and breakfast nook with a daily diet of hot dogs and s'mores. >> trevor: hot dogs and s'mores? >> the hot dogs are inside the s'mores, prepares your gody to
merge with your future robot host or something. i don't believe in this. i believe in bathrooms and this place has 50. >> trevor: i don't think a large house is worth submitting yourself to a cult. does this craig guy know you're just doing this for the housing. >> i don't know, ask him yourself. craig, meet trevor. >> trevor: no, no, no -- >> the day of judgment is upon us, trevor. join the flock in the final moon of our suicide orgy. we'll have it next to the heated swimming pool. >> trevor: what? you have a heated swimming pool? that shit is dope, what? >> i know, right? come down to the suicide orgy and check it out. >> come on, come on now. >> we can leave before the suicide. >> yeah is that all right, i'll see you there. thank you so much, desi and craig. >> bye-bye. god king craig. >> trevor: yes, desi and god king craig. thanks, guys. when we come back roy wood, jr.
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>> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. the superstar k-pop group espa was in town the other day for a concert, and it just so turns out that our own roy wood junior is a huge k-pop fan. so he decided to welcome them to new york in his own way. >> when i heard espa and avatar court parts were coming to new york, i knew i had to meet them. their innovative blend of digital and real world performances has changed the k-pop game, and if i got to know them maybe my nieces would stop texting me about how uncool i am
when we're sitting in the same room. they needed an experienced tour guide to show them around the v.i.p. way. luckily i parked in front of that guy. i invited ju sell, thing any any winter andcine na. where are the avenue tars? i had seats for the avenue tars, too! >> they're in the flat now. >> what is the flat. >> a virtual space. >> for our avenue tars. >> virtual space. >> they're not real people. >> i knew they weren't real. i was quizzing you. ready to see new york city? >> yeah! >> if you listen closely, you can hear the siren. that is the official sound of new york city. >> oh! >> oh, pizza! i want pizza! >> new york city, bagels and pizza. >> bagels and pizza. what does espa mean. >> the a and the e means avatar
and experience. so it's like having a two sided thing where we have an avatar friend and we experience a new world together. >> like a virtual reality. >> metmetaphors. >> yeah. >> that i understand. i understand meta verse. a dude in the meta verse owes me $12. the best way to start the tour is every new york's favorite place times square, lots of videos, lights and looking like a computer virus took over new york. >> oooh! >> lots of stuff going on. there's a spot in times square where there used to be a record store. >> record store? >> yeah. how old are you all? oh, that's where i work there! that's that building, trevor noah's in there. >> hi! hi! >> up there is where the ball drops. >> wow!
>> i don't think they're doing it today. >> i think it's only on new year's. >> i'm the one that lives in new york but if you say it's new year's. >> harry potter. >> that's my homey. that trash can is where oscar the grouch lives. >> oh! >> that pigeon was in home alone, too. >> this home aronne? >> that home alone, yeah. espa was extremely impressed by my vast knowledge of the city. manhattan this is where we have the macy's thanksgiving day parade. >> we're performing in it this year, you should watch! >> i'll try, i might be busy. >> why? >> i'm actually body cam in the t. j. maxx thanksgiving -- it's not really a parade, it's like a get together in a parking lot, but it feels like a parade if you drive slowly. >> cool. >> when i thought about how to get t. j. maxx's phone number and convince him to throw a parade we came to new york's second hottest shopping spot.
this is madison avenue. a lot of fashion on this side of new york, a lot of different stores. you like shopping? >> yeah! >> okay, new york is known for fashion, even the dogs here have fashion. >> wow! >> whoa! >> dogs wear nice sweaters and they go outside and pee. i think that's where gossip girl lives. >> hi, blair! >> this tour guide thing sure was easy. >> i think he's a liar. >> there's chanel. >> chanel! >> alexander. ju van chi. >> yes. >> this is t. j. maxx. >> oh! >> then it was off to the really expensive part of town. this is an american hospital. >> hospital. >> don't stare at it too long because it costs money to look at an american hospital. our healthcare is so expensive
it costs money just to look. that was $10 right there. this is where spider-man fought green goblin. >> spider-man? >> yeah. also i believe in ghostbusters, the stay puff marshmallow man. the avengers had a big fight right here. >> oh! >> yeah, the avengers, thanos came down and fighting. iron man lived around the corner. they were definitely impressed with my knowledge of new york fights. wait till they see how famous i am. what the up? you see people recognize me because i got a video? i'll teach you how to go viral. what's the most your video's ever done? >> like 100 million views. >> 100 million? >> yeah. >> yeah! >> and what individual you? >> one bid owe.
>> 100 million? >> yeah. >> 100 million. >> yeah. >> i got to get into the scene. do y'all need one more member? >> if you don't mind, you know, dancing and singing. >> i can't dance. >> oh, then, um -- >> i can't sing either. >> oh! >> i'm starting to think i was losing the band's respect, so i decided to win it back by heading to the hottest spot for black performance and white gentrification. this is harlem, the apollo theater there. the apollo theater, that's where so many social comedians have gn their start and the rest got booed by strangers so terribly that they almost gave up comedy and their dreams -- almost never came true...
>> that is so sad! >> you know what? let's go to karaoke. >> yes! >> yeah! ♪ just a small town ♪ >> as i ended the tour with "don't stop believing" that was so good they asked me not to sing again, i could tell i nailed the guide thing. look at the five-star reviews. the only question, would they return to favor. when i come to seoul, you show me around. >> yeah. >> i'm bringing my avatar, too, but he's not staying with me because he snores. you have to find somewhere for him to stay. >> trevor: thank you so much for that, roy. when we come back, california governor gavin newsom will be joining me right here in the studio. so don't go away.
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daily show. my guest tonight is california governor gavin newsom. he's here to talk about his new children's book inspired by his own lifelong struggles with dyslexia and how it has shaped him as a political leader. gavin newsom, welcome to the show. >> good to be back. >> trevor: it's really good to see you again, governor. it's been a while. the last time we spoke was over zoom, at the the height of the pandemic. >> yeah.
>> trevor: obviously, we're still in it but just looking at everything that's been going on, how do you think california's going now in terms of the pandemic. >> we were worried about the winter surge last year, around the time we saw a big spike in the delta says cases. we peaked in the first week in january where we were getting body bags from outside the state. we had one of the lowest case rates in the summer. we're starting to see an increase but are the fifth lowest for one reason, we have led with vaccinations, administered doses, 93% of adults have received at least one dose, and the key is to continue to promote these life saving vaccines and boosters, that's the only way out of this. >> trevor: you've had like a really rocky journey, you know, to say the least, in and around the pandemic. i mean, california went through a really tough time, you know, and then, obviously, the whole country so that -- saw the george floyd protest and california saw some of the biggest and then you had the pandemic itself and then you
went to the restaurant when people with respect supposed to go. >> you didn't mention the wildfires. >> trevor: that was your personal wildfire. >> that was. the certain choices we make. tattoo, hardly perfect. those that are, god bless and write a book. i hope they do. i'm not and made a mistake. >> trevor: does that mean, though, as a governor, you would have the same level of maybe compassion for people who mess up when they break the rules? >> i always have. it goes without even jumping into the book, i always have. i'm very humbled by the nature of world and life and my own struggles and mistakes and when you have dyslexia and a learning disability growing up, it's a consistency to make a mistake. it's a novelty when you don't. this grit and determination. church hill, another dyslexic, and the secret of success, moving from failure to failure with enthusiasm. you have to own upyour mistakes, don't repeat them and learn from
them and at the end of the day, we have to model better behavior as leaders, but one thing i'm proud of, we have been a model in terms of science and health department outcomes. we have had a pandemic like every state has, but we have not been shy to lean in, take leadership and, with that comes lumps. >> trevor: let's talk about the book. "ben & emma's big hit." so they told me governor gavin newsom is going to come on the show, he's writing a new book. i was, like, whoa, the last time a governor wrote a book, his life didn't go so well. i was like this could be risky. but this is different. you wrote a children's book. >> yeah. >> trevor: i'm not going to lie. it was endearing. you wrote about your struggles with dyslexia which i didn't know you had. >> yeah. >> trevor: tell me about that. i didn't find it ironic that the way you discovered your dyslexia is you read through documents. >> yeah. >> trevor: tell me about this story. >> i kept seeing my name and i'm wondering what the stack of document were and wondering why
i was going after school consistently. >> trevor: you were struggling in school. >> i was doing speech therapy -- look at this, i hadn't looked at 20 years in these old files literally doing speech therapy, learning disability that included an inability to read completely, an inability to spell, and i still struggle. this is a life-long issue, and, of course, it's not unique to me. it's jaw dropping. we estimate at least 20% of americans, 20 perof people around the globe have some form of learning disability. think about that number. >> trevor: huge. >> tens of millions of americans, hundreds of millions of people around the globe, many that have been diagnosed, many who have gotten intervention support, many who haven't. i want to destigmatize this. the number one kids have in common, self-esteem. they feel demoralized and they feel stupid. i had terrible self-esteem, was in the back to have the classroom, i had terrible grades and can't read speeches even
today. >> trevor: what do you do if you can't read a speech? >> i don't have a speech writer. it's extemporaneous. >> trevor: so you just remember. >> got to go up, know your material. that's another thing you learn with tex lexia you have to use ten times more than anyone else. >> trevor: use another part of your brain. >> it's awkward to admit this. this is a book at how great california is. i had a few setbacks but the best is yet to come. >> trevor: right. ( laughter ) >> it's opposite. my mom was a single mom, passed away, and she didn't give up on me even though she struggled. i have four kids, a couple are struggling with learning disabilities as well. as a paren, it's much worse than being a kid with dyslexia than experiencing your own kids with a learning disability. >> trevor: what's a word that freaks you out most. >> perfection. it's a losery.
doesn't exist. we're consumed by it. i hate our education simple that doesn't incentivize mistakes. we need the creative and innovative. if you can'tmake mistakes you don't get new ways of doing things. in politics we destroy people for making mistakes. >> trevor: a difference between destroying them and holding them accountable. you're hear and still the governor. some could say your actions at french laundry mean you were taken to task and then the people voted for you, 30 points. so clearly the people, governor newsom, we're going to role with you. but there is a balance in terms of destroying politicians and holding them accountable because they have power over people's lives. >> # hundred%. you were right. it's not being held to account. you need to hold ug us to a
higher level of accountability because of our unique positions. we should have moral authority. i could not agree more. i think about in terms of policy, in terms of good intentions gone awry. not the failings, but trying new things, being willing to take risks as it relates to -- >> trevor: it is challenging. >> that's where people say, you know, try try to make that investment. a complete embarrassment in failure. >> trevor: yes. >> that's where in privacy, i have 20 businesses. i started as an entrepreneur, restaurants, wineries, i penned to paper myself, no inheritance. i actually did -- every month, i gave an award to the person who screwed up the most. >> trevor: wow. >> we had a failure award. >> trevor: i could have worked in your company. >> never too late. never too late. >> trevor: and the reason you did this? >> to incentivize initiative and responsibility. we're not victims. be accountable. >> trevor: let me ask you
this, using your entrepreneurial spirit and mind combined with your leadership, let's look at california. california's not the only place. don't get me wrong. we've seen a space of shoplifting. they drive in, steal a bunch of stuff and go and we see some police chiefs, i take what they say with a pinch of salt. people say they can steal $300,000 worth of things and because there's no bail for shoplifting people understand the risk versus reward ratio of what they're doing. how do you find a way to create a safe state for people without jumping into the industrial prison complex and punishing people who shouldn't be punished because they couldn't afford to pay bail. how do you find that balance using that entrepreneurial mind? >> i'm in a unique position to answer that. i'm from california who led the lock 'em up, three felonies and
you're out. 375,000 theme in prison at peak. we opened dozens of new prisons and only one uc in that process, yet crime kept going up. we advanced forms and they went down. people talk about prop 47 in california, a reform in 2014 as relates to the issue of shoplifting and property crimes. it would be a felony if the crime was committed that was -9d hundred dollars of goods versus $450. the reality is in 2015 crimes went down, larceny and shoplifting went down, 16, 17, 18, 19. if it's the cause for the spike, it must be the cause for the decline. what's happening with retail theft is unacceptable. we have to hold people to account. we're doing that. these are well beyond the $900 threshold. plus 39 states, republican states not just democrat states,
did the same thing california did. 31 states today have higher felony thresholds in the state of california. interestingly, texas has higher violent crime rates in california and property crime rates. why can't pocks fox talking about those. i'm open argument interested in evidence. if we find the reforms are not producing as intended, we will own that. same time we have to own the responsibility to address these organized criminal rings and these retail thefts are being done at scale in minnesota and chicago not just california and that's a whole different paradigm and challenge and we are responsible again accountable to addressing that issue and we're doing that. >> trevor: thank you for the time. thank you for writing a really fun book. >> appreciate it. >> trevor: hope to see you again on the show. >> great to see you. >> trevor: "ben & emma's big hit" is available now. okay, we're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be right back
won't have you worried about supply chain issues. if you want to check it out, scan the qr code or head to the link below. until tomorrow -- stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember: if you die in a car crash while playing a video, you die in real life! now, here it is -- your moment of zen. >> still the best vaccine we found is mother nature's vaccine. it's contracting the virus. that is what is provided the greatest protection, the most durable protection over the longest period of time. captioning made possible by comedy central - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪
both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪
[children chattering] - all right, you guys, it's first down. i'll hike the ball on the third set hut. kyle and cartman, go deep post outs. kenny, run a slant up the middle. butters, be ready for the screen. - right, what are we playing again? - football. - got it. - okay, 23. blue, 23. set hut, set hut. - wendy breaks up. - what? - wendy breaks up with you. - whoa, whoa, wait a minute. what did i do wrong? i haven't even talked to wendy for weeks. - she just doesn't want to be with you anymore. she said she still wants to be friends. - whatever, bebe, like stan really cares. just get outta our football game, you stupid skank.
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