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tv   White House Correspondents Dinner  CSPAN  April 29, 2018 4:26am-5:33am EDT

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has featured the nation's best-known fiction writers for live conversations about their book. this year, we are featuring best-selling fiction writers for monthly program. thisjoin us live sunday, may 6 t noon eastern with david baldacci. his other novels include end game, absolute power, which became a major motion picture, plu over 30 novelss. he has written six novels for younger readers which includes and thesher, the keeper width of the world. during your program, we will take your phone calls, tweets and facebook messages. our special series with david baldacci sunday, may 6 live from noon to 3 p.m. eastern on book tv on c-span2. >> members of the media gathered in washington, d.c. this
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weekend for the annual white house correspondents dinner. for the second year in a row, president trump chose to skip the event but his press secretary sarah sanders was there as other members of the administrator. this year's entertainer is comedian michelle williams, a former contributor for the daily show. this is just over one hour. gentlemen, before a surpriseur seats, appearance by the president. a surprise appearance by the president. or at least, a president. blitzer and i look like a guy rescued by a snow cave just in time. president trump has been invited. will he blitzer and i look like a guy rescued by a attend g at a urinal between mark noller and dave
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wigle? >> get me up to speed. are you an incoming or outgoing cabinet member? >> i am margaret tollett, the president of the white house correspondents association. i wanted to see if you made a decision on attending our dinner? >> i would look pretty thin-skinned if i didn't show up, but only on the following conditions. someone tranquilizes jim acosta, i get two scoops of ice cream big enough to bend a shovel, and i can use jeff bezos as my napkin. >> president trump will attend the white house correspondents dinner. breaking fox news alert, we can confirm chris hayes stole his glasses from a child on a teeter totter. >> can you believe the fake media invited me to the correspondents dinner? you don't see the central park fire inviting me to brunch. >> are you sure you don't want me to go in your place? they love me and my reese witherspoon like southern charm. >> of course i am going, what am i going to do? hold a rally to harden my ego to
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watch it before i step off stage? >> i would be honored if you wore my clothing. >> shepard smith is going to be there? i can't believe some lucky lady hasn't snatched him up. >> to truly understand the white house correspondents dinner, you have to understand where the journalists and attendants sit. tables. tables didn't always look like this. here is a table from 1415 bc, looks similar to what we used today. flattop, leggy things. we will get deeper into tables later. let's talk about what made them possible, the big bang. >> welcome to the white house correspondents dinner. >> it's donald j. trump, a -- or as you know me, a source close to the president. a lot of people complained washington is a bunch of white guys talking to an audience who agrees with them but i like
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, america. where is the sinclair media table? >> right here, almighty trump. >> the tribune mergers going through. tonight, we are here to honor some great people. for example, maggie haberman. remember that lunch at the trump grill. you got the scoop on my presidential bid. i got the bacon cheeseburger. and licked the ketchup lid. was it when i called you a hillary clunky? stop pretending your integrity, you work with bret stephens. there is only so much a recipe is simple can do. i have already lost him and i can't lose you. congratulations to tonight's honorees.
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i look forward to locking you up in the coming years. [applause] >> ladies and gentlemen, please welcome correspondents association president margaret talev. [applause] >> thank you. good evening, everyone. to those of you in this room and watching across america, welcome to the white house correspondents dinner. [applause] in this room, we are republicans and democrats, people of all economic classes, races, religions, and gender self identifications. my name is margaret talev. i am senior white house correspondent for bloomberg news, and a cbs contributor, i
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-- cnn contributor, i am proud to serve as your president of the white house correspondents association. [applause] margaret: before we get too far, i would like to thank our cartoon president, and stephen colbert for getting us warmed up tonight. [applause] margaret: i think i can speak for all of us in this room when i say they are sending our best to former president george h to be bush tonight. [applause] was a repeat guest at our dinners, and has been recovering. i was listening to old tapes of monologues, one of my favorite was when he was talking about dana carvey's impersonation of him. if you remember, president bush
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had taken this phone call from someone he thought was the iranian president, but it wasn't. he joked that the present was -- the impression was so good, he asked him to phone him and said tell him it was george bush. he said it wouldn't be pretty. if you are watching, we are thinking of you. [applause] i would like to acknowledge the recipients and award winners. this night is about you, what you have accomplished, and what you have become. >> yesterday, we held a luncheon for the scholars and paired them up with mentors and we had a visit from house speaker paul ryan. he spoke about the role of journalism and the next generation of journalists, then
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this happened. the u.s. president, the same one who called journalists the enemy of the people, welcomed these scholars to the white house. he and his team rolled out the red carpet. in the midst of this visit by the german chancellor, they gave they gave them -- they give them an insiders glimpse at the back room passageways of the white house. the china room, the diplomatic room, took them outside, lined them up on the stairs with that view of the south lawn. then they were invited to meet with the president. the president and vice president went to each scholar hand by hand, greeted them, who are you, where do you go to school? the president asked if they were sure they wanted to become journalists. then he praised journalism as a great profession and asked how quickly they can get to work so they can kick us out and replace us.
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after the president left, i asked how the students felt. a group of them responded with one answer, they said that was surreal. we nodded because we knew the feeling. tonight is an important night for everybody who cares about good journalism. we are all here because we cherish the first amendment. we love the news and believe in the powers of reporting to raise up and better the lives of all people, that includes coverage of the white house to be sure, and threats like international terrorism, or russian election interference. it is also local stories across the country, how we cover natural disasters, school shootings, u.s. gymnastics scandal, me too, pilot to pull -- pilots who pull off a amazing disaster landings and save most of the people on board. real news is sometimes happy, sometimes funny and heartwarming, it is often heartbreaking, critical, or makes you angry.
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we reject efforts by anyone , especially our elected leaders to paint journalism as an , -- as unamerican. [applause] margaret: or to cast out on the relevance of facts and truth in the modern age. on any journalist is an attack on us all. [applause] margaret: this isn't about the business of protecting journalism as a business. our business has done very well in the last couple of years. this is about protecting a pillar of american democracy. the best leaders and public servants champion the first amendment, and defend it at home, and proclaim and overseas because they know that helps democracy and freedom take root in places where violence, repression, and fear give cover to terrorism and corruption. i want to ask for a moment of
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silence to remember journalists fornd the world killed doing their jobs, or who are alive in prison. i would like to mention our colleague austin, kidnapped in syria in 2012. if you are somehow watching, there are a lot of people working to bring you home. i would also like to remember some longtime veteran white house correspondents that we have lost to age or illness in the past year. for decades we have invited a cross-section of people from public and private lives to celebrate these ideals, freedom of speech, freedom of the press. we also took our act on the road, beginning a new program with presidential library to connect with more americans outside the beltway. we began with truman library in independence, missouri. and we were met with a full house. next month will be at the reagan library in california. if anybody happens to be out there, we welcome you to join
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us. i will also mention that thanks , we have a new and fantastic website live just a few hours ago. the new address is whca. press. we look forward to delivering to all of you in that website for months to come. u.s. presidents have attended this dinner nearly every year since calvin coolidge. that is a tradition we believe will withstand the currents of time. we welcome white house press secretary sarah sanders to the head table to represent the administration, thank you for being here. [applause] we really appreciate your participation and ongoing work with our members to help us cover the white house and help americans see their government in action, thank you.
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i also want to welcome, you may recognize her from a scene in the oval office. her and her husband were arrested by egyptian authorities and imprisoned for three years. she was free last year after sustained media coverage and the sustained campaign of u.s. political candidates and the current administration. her husband is in the audience with us, also continuing to advocate for the release of others. they strongly believe it was the press coverage that shed a spotlight on their situation and helped build the leverage for their release. welcome home. [applause] >> of course we have with us michelle wolf, more on you later. i would also like to call out all of my fellow board members.
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you will see me later this year and we will do a terrific job . our new executive director, has brought his passion for white house coverage to the job. no one can ever replace joey, but we are so thrilled to have you aboard. course, our attorney who does an amazing job for us. thank you. >> i would also like to thank the staff of the washington hilton, all of you. you treat us like family we couldn't do this without you, we appreciate it so much. [applause] >> in our audience we welcome many ambassadors from around the world who care about press freedoms. from around the world, including more than a dozen in the audience, the u.k., israel, the
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ambassador from bulgaria, which is a pretty cool thing for me. thank you for joining us. [applause] we welcome representatives of some of the leading free speech and journalism advocacy groups in the nation with us tonight. and some of american baseball greats who joined us. i don't know whether you had a chance to find some of them, thank you for your support. we also welcome many members of the trump administration. thank you for being here. and we welcome the leadership of the white house historical association. several presidential historians representatives from the university of maryland in college park who we selected as our partners this year to build our ties. this is an incredible project, i have been working on it for a few years. we are thrilled to bring this
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live in the next year or two. there are some other people in the room who i would love to mention. because, as our president says, it takes a village. in all seriousness, please stand and remain standing if you are a past president of the white house correspondents association. [applause] >> a current member of the white house correspondents association or the white house press corps. [applause] >> if you are a true journalist. [applause] >> please stand if you served in the current administration, or congress, or elected office anywhere in this country. [applause]
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>> please stand if you serve in the military, if you run a business, or work for a business. if you come from hollywood, if you are a teacher, police officer, a person who cares about freedom and the truth. [applause] margaret: as a personal privilege, i would like to thank my editors and teammates at bloomberg news, with all of the white house team and everyone in the bloomberg newsroom. for the extraordinary support they have given to me and to this organization for the past six years. and for your patience, i will be
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back to work soon, i promise. i would like to thank my dear family and friends and loved ones who are here to support me tonight. to my girls, abby and maggie, i am so proud of you both. [applause] margaret: finally, there are two people i want to thank, who i hope are watching from the great beyond, my parents. [applause] margaret: my father was born and raised in soviet bulgaria, and he and his brothers escaped in the early 1960's because they feared for what their future would be in what was then a repressive communist regime. they came to the u.s., because america welcomed them. my mother was born american, but like our current president she was captivated by the driving self-determination of a young, dashing immigrant. [laughter]
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margaret: my father was what i would call a george h w bush republican. my mother was a democrat, and they disagreed about a lot when it came to politics. i became a journalist in large part because of those debates that unfolded at the dining room table each night. but one thing they agreed on was that what has always made america great is the ability to disagree publicly. to have facts and make informed arguments and counter arguments for whatever the might be. welfare, taxes, war, religion. speak your find without fear of beatings or death, or seizure of assets. journalism gives us the information to do that. my father risked everything to come to this country because of our ideals, and for him the first amendment might have been the most important of all. as i see it, it is my job to do
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margaret: please turn your attention back to the video screen.
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>> i am going to miss sparring with the press every day. boredom is probably my biggest worry for life aft luckily, john boehner texted me and said he found something that helps them chill out, something to do with grass. i don't know. anyway, i just wanted to say quick word to congratulate the young men and women receiving scholarships this evening. i was able to visit with them
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yesterday and it affirmed for me that the future of journalism is bright. my message to the next generation of reporters, know that what you do matters. there is so much noise out there , but our republic does not work without an informed electorate. pay attention to the policy, not just the personalities. look at the human impact, not just the horse race. and challenge yourself to challenge us, those of us in public office, because what you do, it really matters. it provides transparency and accountability. done right, journalism cannot just inform but empower citizens. we don't always agree on what is right and what is fair, but that push and pull, that makes us both better. a creates a higher standard. -- it creates a higher standard. it is part of the genius of this country and it will endure during turbulent times. tonight, i say cheers to the
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first amendment and again offer my congratulations to the scholarship winners. have a great night. [applause] margaret: thank you, speaker ryan, don't forget your mandatory drug test. to introduce our newest scholars, the cochairs of our fellowship committee. [applause] this year's scholars come from 11 universities across the country. we are happy to introduce them. please hold your applause until all the scholars have been announced. from arizona state university, and rihanna. from columbia university, -- ariana.
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from columbia university, from george washington university, from grambling state university, taylor davis. the recipient of the trust and recording scholarship cosponsored by the whdh. from howard university, harry. the recipient of the harry s mcalpine scholarship. also from howard university, tyra is your -- as their and collect -- alexa. from iowa state university, mary khan, recipient of the u.s. society scholarship and print journalism cosponsored by the w hca and historical association. from northwestern university, ricky. northwestern, the recipient of the deborah oren scholarship, william and jimmy. >> from ohio university, lauren fisher of cincinnati.
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also from ohio university, jessica hill. from uc california at berkeley, all andhra -- alondra. from the university of maryland, saman. and from the university of missouri, alex derosier, jamie dunaway, renee hickman, sue lynn shanita kathleen martin, jona mcewan, miranda moore, cara taymor. please join us in congratulating all of these scholarship winners. [applause]
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margaret: i hope you will turn back to the screen so she can tell you her story. i am honored and happy to celebrate the free minimal the press with you tonight. >> last april your freedom award helped deliver me the freedom to walk out of prison. for three years i was kept
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hidden behind the walls with barb wire. i was told i would spend the rest of my life there with my husband and friends. how was he able to explain this journey to people? the answer was simple, kill truth, very yet, and create fake alternate truth. tell people that i is a terrorist and human trafficker and 60,000 people like her are terrorists, not democracy defenders. the regime was able to guard the secret for years. i am not a terrorist, but a social activist. seven years ago, i flew to cairo to carry with me the values of humanity, freedom and pursuit of happiness. i helped clean garbage from neighborhoods and playgrounds, helped educate little girls and save little boys from being
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raped by older men on cold, winter nights. if you ask how was i freed, the answer is truth. people bravely and defiantly committed. fearless activists continued to write about me on social media. my husband lovingly handed me flowers and took a picture on valentine's day and disseminated it to the world. the washington post showed the picture and wondered how did egypt's most famous couples celebrate their valentines? the answer was behind bars. and then my dedicated friend and thousands of people wrote the newspaper and demanded to know, why is america leaving her to celebrate valentines behind bars? our president, mr. trump responded and said america is not leaving her. and here i am, a living testament of your power to bring
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freedom. a freedom that is so viciously fought throughout the world. one of your fellow journalists thousands of miles from here is alone tonight in his prison cell, instead of celebrating freedom of the press. he recently won the unesco freedom of press award because the dictator bestowed him with another title, terrorist. don't be surprised, dictators know that democracy dies in darkness. that is why it is so important to stand together tonight and celebrate your work, so that you continue to shout out the truth. thank you, journalists, for bringing light, happiness and humanity to the world we share. we, the people around the world, need you. [applause]
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margaret: thank you for sharing your story. thank you to leeza jennings for all of your amazing videos. [applause] each year, our awards are decided by a panel of distinguished judges. a process organized by alan schumer. i would like to ask olivier knox and jonathan karl to come up to the podium. [applause]
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>> good evening. first, the aldo beckman award for presidential news coverage that recognizes the correspondent who personifies qualities exemplified by aldo beckman, the award-winning journalist of the "chicago tribune." the award goes to maggie haberman. [applause] listen to the judges. maggie haberman's white house reporting shows her deep understanding of what makes president trump tick. having covered mr. trump for 20 years, she was able to trap that -- cap -- tap that knowledge to chronicle the first year of his presidency with rich detail and authoritative sourcing. she often conveyed the feel of being a fly on the wall of the white house.
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she shared the fruits of her reporting with others at the time. maggie could not be here tonight but doug mills of the new york times will accept the award in her stead. [applause] >> a quick shout out. brooks robinson is in the room tonight. from arkansas. the merriman smith award honor coverage under -- offers -- on his presidential news coverage under deadline pressure. the award is named after merriman smith, white house correspondent for more than 30 years. it is given in two categories, broadcast and print.
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the merriman smith award for broadcast goes to evan perez, jake tapper, and carl bernstein of cnn. [applause] these journalists and a number of other cnn reporters broke the story that the intelligence community had briefed president barack obama and president-elect donald trump that russia had compromising information about mr. trump. you may remember that story. that thenam reported fbi director james comey personally briefed trump about the dossier. the judges called the reporting breaking news at its very best. [applause]
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[applause] [whistling] >> the merriman smith award for print goes to josh duffy. [applause] josh's story about the resignation of white house press secretary sean spicer grabs the reader from the opening sentence. duffy hustled to find a wide variety of sources and conveyed the drama of the resignation and held the reader's attention. duffy reported details others simply did not have, beautifully reported and written, say the judges.
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[applause] i also congratulate chris johnson. where is chris? honorable mention for the merriman smith award, chris johnson of "the washington blade." >> honorable mention for the merriman smith broadcast award, lester holt of "nbc news." [applause] >> the edgar a. poe award honors excellence in news coverage of significant national or regional importance of the american people. it is in honor of edgar a poe, longtime correspondent for the
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"new orleans times picayune." and a former white house correspondent associates and president. the judges will be looking for excellence in stories, with fairness and objectivity. the edgar a. poe award goes for jason, heater, tim, lisa geary and, grant smith, and team lawyers for the report "shock tactic." the judges call the 18 month examination of taser-related deaths and litigation stunning, new, and disturbing. the series involved impressive reporting from multiple angles, revealing the risks of a weapon that is not supposed to be lethal, but often is. the project, the judges said, is relevant to every community and stood out in a sea of powerful contenders. congratulations. [applause]
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and the honorable mention for the edgar a. poe award goes to dan diamond of "politico" for their reporting on tom price's private travel. [applause] margaret: to maggie and her husband and all of her family, we are thinking of you tonight. i would like to call to the stage the recipient of something
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called the president's award. this isn't something we award each year. it is only the second time we have done this. the point of the award is to recognize excellence in somebody who helps the members of our association succeed. martha kumar is director of the white house transition project, a board member of the white house historical association and a professor, and is a scholar of the presidency. martha records and analyzes the relationship between journalists and the white house. if you don't know martha, you can't miss her, she is a compact force of nature with a shock of white hair, downstairs in the white house workplace with a pencil and a pad. she is regularly in the briefing room, always at the ready with statistics to give our stories context and depth. she is a treasure of the press
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corps and a bridge between the first draft of history that we do and what happens after that. martha, thank you for your important work and congratulations. [applause] margaret: the first time i saw michelle wolf stand up, i thought, what was that voice? the second time i just gave in and laughed.
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and at some point as a watched her i thought, the woman is actually saying a lot more in between the punchlines. michelle wolf grew up in pennsylvania, ran high school track and worked at bear stearns and j.p. morgan chase, because that is what a bloomberg reporter would pick. she has written for seth meyers and had a regular gig on trevor noah's show and has done well. that big hbo special last year, and right after we signed her for the dinner we find a chu is -- we found out she was going to be doing a netflix series. she is not really a political comedian by training, but of -- if 2016 taught her anything is that we should be listening to more people outside of washington. and if 2017 taught us anything, it is hey, that means women.
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so please welcome michelle wolf. [applause] michelle: this has been long. [laughter] good evening, good evening. here we are at the white house correspondents'dinner. like a poor and star says when she is about to have sex with trump, let's get this over with. i'm going to skip the normal pleasantries. we are at a hilton, it is not nice. this is on c-span, no one watches that. trump is president, it is not ideal. the association, thank you for having me. the monk fish was fine.
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[laughter] and just a reminder to everyone, i am here to make jokes. i have no agenda. i am not trying to get anything accomplished. everyone that is here from congress, you should feel right at home. [laughter] before we get too far, a lot of you might not know who i am. i am 32 years old, which is an odd age, 10 years too young to host this event and 20 years too old for roy moore. a, he almost got elected. it was fun. [laughter] i never really thought i would be a comedian, but i did take an aptitude test in seventh grade and this is 100% true. it said my best profession was a clown or a mime.
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at first i picked clown and then i heard my voice and said, maybe mime. [laughter] as much as some of you might want me to, it is 2018 and i am a woman, so you cannot shut me up. cohen you have michael wire me $130,000. michael, you can find me under my porn star name, reince priebus. he just gave a thumbs-up, ok. people are saying america is but novided than ever, matter what you support politically, we can all agree this is a great time for craft stores. protests, poster board has been flying off the shelves faster than robert
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mueller can say, you have been subpoenaed. thanks to trump, pink yarn sales are through the roof. after trump got elected, women started knitting those hats. when i first saw them i was like that is a * * *? i guess mine has more yarn on it. you should have done more research before you asked me to do this. [laughter] there is a lot to cover tonight. there is a lot to go over. i can't get to everything. i know a lot of people want me to talk about russia and putin and collusion, but i am not going to do that because there is also a lot of liberal media here. and i have never really wanted to know what any of you look like when you orgasm. except for you, jake tapper. i bet it is something like this.
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jake, that is all the time we have. [applause] it is kind of crazy that the trump campaign was in contact with russia, when the hillary campaign wasn't even in contact with michigan. of course, trump is in here. -- trump is not here. if you haven't noticed, he is not here. i know, i would drag him here myself but the president of the united states is the one * * * you are not allowed to grab. he said it first. yes, he did. i know people really want me to go after trump tonight, but i think we should give the president credit when he deserves it. like, he pulled out of the paris agreement. i think he should get credit for that because he said he was going to pull out and then he did and that is a refreshing
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quality in a man. most of men are like, i forgot. i will get you next time. oh, there is going to be a next time? and people say romance is dead. [laughter] people call trump names all the time. look, i could call trump a racist or misogynist or incompetent, or unstable, or incompetent, or impotent, but he has heard all of those and he doesn't care. tonight, i am going to try to make fun of the president in a new way, in a way i think will really get him. mr. president, i don't think you are very rich. i think you might be rich in idaho, but in new york you are doing fine. trump is the only person who still watches "who wants to be a
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millionaire?" and thinks me. although i don't think you would get too far because after the third question he would say, i want to call "fox and friends." i am going to say trump is so broke, you go how broke as he? trump is so broke >> how broke as he? he has to fly in failed business class. trump is so broke. >> how broke is he? he looks for foreign oil in don jr.'s hair. trump is so broke. >> how broke is he? southwest used him as one of their engines. i know, it is so soon, it is so soon for that joke. why did she tell it, it is so soon. trump is so broke. >> how broke is he? >> he had to borrow money from the russians
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and now he is compromised and susceptible to blackmail and possibly responsible for the collapse of the republic. yay. it is a fun game. trump is racist, though. he loves white nationalists, which is a weird term for a nazi. calling a nazi white nationalist is like calling a pedophile a kid friend, or harvey weinstein a ladies man. that's not really fair, he also likes plants. trump is also an idea guy, he has got loads of ideas, you have got to love him for that. he wants to give teachers guns, and i support that because then they can sell them for things they need, like supplies. [applause] a lot of people want trump to be impeached. i do not, because just when you think trump is awful you
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remember mike pence. mike pence is what happens when anderson cooper isn't gay. mike pence is the kind of guy that brushes his teeth and then drinks orange juice and thinks, mmmm. mike pence is also very anti-choice. he thinks abortion is murder, which first of all, don't knock it until you try it. and when you do try it, really knock it, you have to get that baby out of their. -- out of there. you can groan all you want, i know a lot of you are very antiabortion, you know, unless it is the when you got from your secret mistress. it is funny how values can waiver. good for you. mike pence is a weirdo, though, he is a weird little guy.
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he won't meet with other women without his wife presence. -- without his wife present. people first heard that and thought, that's crazy, but now in the current climate they say, that is a good witness. that brings me to the me too movement, the reason why i am here. they are like, a woman is not going to * * off in front of a bunch of people, right? enter that i say, don't count your chickens. i have worked in a lot of male-dominated fields, the four -- before comedy i worked at a tech company and before that i worked on wall street, and i have never really been sexually harassed. that being said, i did work at bear stearns in 2008 and although i haven't in sexually harassed i have definitely been been been the whole company went down on me without my consent. no one got in trouble for that either. things are changing.
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men are being held accountable. al franken was ousted, that one really hurt liberals but i believe it was the great ted kennedy who said, that is crazy, i murdered a woman. chappaquiddick, in theaters now. i did have a a lot of jokes about cabinet members but i had to scrap all of those because everyone has been fired. you guys are going through cabinet members quicker than starbucks throws out black people. don't worry, they are having an afternoon. we just needed an afternoon. mitch mcconnell's interior -- mitch mcconnell is not here tonight. he had a prior engagement. he is finally getting his neck circumcised. paul ryan also couldn't make it.
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reports say he has already been circumcised. unfortunately, while they were down there they also took his * by the way paul, great acting in that video. republicans are easy to make fun of. it is like shooting fish in a chris christie. i also want to make fun of democrats. democrats are harder to make fun of because you guys don't do anything. [laughter] you think you might flip the house and senate this november but you guys always find a way to mess it up. you are somehow going to lose by 12 points to a guy named jeff pedophile nazi dr.. oh, he's a doctor? we should talk about women in the trump. there is kellyanne conway.
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man, she has the perfect last name for what she does. conway. it is like if my name was michelle, jokes frizzy hair small * * . you have to stop putting kellyanne on your show. all she does is lie. if you don't give her a platform, she has nowhere to live. it's like that old saying, if a tree falls in the woods, how do we get kellyanne under that tree? i'm not suggesting we put her there, i'm just suggesting that she get stuck. incidentally, a tree falling in the woods is a scott pruitt's definition of porn. we all have our kinks. ivanka got was supposed to be an advocate for women but it turns out she is about as helpful to women as an empty box of tampons.
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she has done nothing to satisfy women. so i guess, like father like daughter. you don't think he is good in bed? come on. ivanka does cleanup nice, though. she is the diaper genie of the administration. on the outside she looks sleek but the inside is still full of of of course we have sarah huckabee sanders. we are grateful for sarah's presence tonight. i have to say i am a little starstruck. i loved you as and lydia in "the handmaid's tale." if you haven't seen it, mike pence, you would love it. every time sarah steps up to the podium, i get excited because i am really not sure but we are going to get. a press briefing, a bunch of lies or a divided into softball teams.
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it is sharks and fins and this time don't be such a little old old acosta. i actually really like sarah. i think she is very resourceful. like, she burns fat and then she uses that -- to create a perfect smoky eye. maybe she was born with it, maybe it is live. saturday night. and i am not really sure to call -- sure what to call sarah huckabee sanders. is it sarah sanders, as it sarah huckabee sanders, is a cousin huckabee, is it nancy huckabee sanders? like what has uncle tom done for white women who disappoint other white women? i know. and coulter. we have our friends at cnn here. welcome guys come it is great to
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have you. you guys love breaking news, and you did it. you broke it. good work. the most useful information on cnn is when anthony board game tells me word -- anthony board rdain tells me where to eat noodles. fox news is here, you know what that means, ladies? cover your drink. people want me to make fun of sean hannity tonight but i cannot do that. this dinner is for journalists. [applause] we have msnbc here. msnbc's new slogan is, this is who we are. guys, that's not a good slogan. this is who we are is what your mom thinks the sad show on nbc is called.
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did you watch this is who we are this week? someone left on a crockpot and everybody died. i watch morning joe every morning. we now know that mika and joe are now engaged. congratulations, you guys. it's like when a me too works out. we cannot forget about rachel maddow, the peter pan of msnbc. but instead of never growing up she never gets through the -- rachel maddow is like going to target. you went in for shampoo and left with the entire history of the byzantine empire. and of course, megyn kelly. what would i do without megyn kelly? i would probably be more proud of women. [laughter]
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megyn kelly got paid $23 million by nbc. then nbc didn't let megyn go to the winter olympics. why not? she is so whites, cold and expensive she might as well be the winter olympics. and finally, megyn, santa is black, not a white guy that looks like bill o'reilly. i am not going to go after print media tonight because it is illegal to attack in endangered species. there is a ton of news right now. a lot is going on and we have all these 24 hour news networks. we could be covering anything, but instead we are covering three topics. every hour, it is trump, russia, hillary, and a panel of four people who remind you why you don't go home for thanksgiving.
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you guys are the best with trump. did you used to date him? because you pretend like you hate him but i think you love him. i think what no one in this room us to admit is that trump has helped all of you. he couldn't sell stakes or vodka or water or college or ties or eric [applause] but he has helped you. he has helped you sell your papers and her books and your tv. you helped create this monster and now you are profiting off of him. and if you are going to profit off of trump you should at least give him some money, because he doesn't have any. trump is so broke, he grabs * * because he thinks there
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might be loose change in him. like an immigrant who was brought here by his parents and didn't do anything wrong, i have to get out of here tonight. we still don't have clean water. [applause] margaret: ladies and gentlemen, thank you very supporting the first amendment and the free press. i want to wish you a good night. thank you. [applause] [crowd noise] [crowd noise] [crowd noise] [crowd noise] .
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[captions copyright national cable satellite corp. 2018] [captioning performed by the national captioning institute, which is responsible for its caption content and accuracy. visit] tonight on "q&a," -- >> the news spreads and seems to affecting voters. william cunningham, a host and creator of the "washington post's" constitutional podcast. >> the first few episodes all hang around the concept of we, the people. it was an exploration of gender, ancestry.onality, then, we move into the idea of more perfect union. there are a couple of episodes about justice and defense. with aends sort of combination of the blessings of
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liberty for ourselves and our prosperity, and what does that mean? >> lillian cunningham, tonight at 8:00 eastern on c-span's " q&a." 7:00 p.m.,ing at james comey will be live on the tv on c-span 2 on prime time with his sla autobiography "a higher loyalty." he will discuss several of the director,faced as fbi including the russian investigation, hillary clinton's emails, and his views on the president. watch james comey live on prime time on c-span 2 on monday, senokot p.m. eastern. >> the second year -- for the second year in a row, president trump chose to skip the annual white house correspondents dinner and hold a rally away from nation's capital. at this event in michigan, the president talks about the accomplishments of his admira


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