>> andrea: you don't agree with republicans being banned, do you? >> bob: yes. >> andrea: why? >> bob: for those voting against the unions? >> andrea: you said you were for oppressed people. >> bob: i agree they're oppressed, republicans but they voted against the labor unions. why let them in the labor day parade? >> andrea: that is it for us on that note. thank you for watching "the five." see you tomorrow. welcome to "red eye." i'm grog gutfe3 welcome to "red eye." i'm grog gutfeld. holder for the most squats done in a vaselhoe kiddie pool while wearing a coconut skinny top and grose py jeans. at's go to wdy levy f3 a pre game report. >> give the drummer grome, jeyeica. oue."top grtory, oseesstent obaa schedules an address before congreste f3 t3 gr je nightdes feeaepublit.n dreumdential
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>> whatever they are doing, i'm sure it is with good intentions because politicians always tell the truth. >> dana, welcome back. it has been awhile since we have been together. i thought i would take it personally, but i am glad you are here. you are a business guy. what should obama say on wednesday night? is there anyway he could right the economy at this .? >> i think that the answer is no. i don't think there is anyway for him to create enough jobs between now and the election. no, he can't. it is not like he has a nano tech laboratory and he will make the $5 cancer cure. it is silly for a free marketer to look for the. -- for the president to do that. you are paying the price having not spent eight years in a mortgage orgy. >> i understand mortgage orgy. >> we had one of those,
remember? >> it started out very boring -- >> al smith, the head of general motors says it is a shame more people don't understand, but the only thing that increases real wages and decreased unemployment is technological innovation, period. and that's where it has to come from. a politician -- i think obama should lower the corporate tax rate for sure jie. there's a lot of things you can do. all they have done is made the free market stuff impossible. >> he had a pretty good period. >> you are claiming fannie mae and freddy mac was the zenith of free market tears. >> they said the problem is you have those who would parade as free market tears. >> it is the taxpayers. i know you are drunk at home, fannie mae and freddy mac, not free. >> i met fan knee at a mortgage orgy.
i met a lot of fanny. >> my job plan just -- i notice you are not checking the internet all day, but it is sweeping the nation right now and i have many, many other parts of the plan, but my one small three-part plan is to eliminate the unemployment insurance and stop immigration legal or illegal bi-lo cage employees. we need the technological employees. you can't have a nuclearen engineer if you can't have a power plant. >> extending the employment insurance is one of the worst uses. as a society you want a safety net to keep you from descending. >> that's why we have the low wage employees. >> there is research to show that the longer you have unemployment insurance the longer people remain unemployed. that's the only thing i know. >> and the higher your raise, the more people will be out of work. >> there is also research that shows if you get rifted unemployment -- if you get rid of the unemployment, you will lose the election.
>> doesn't the white house come off looking like petty amateurs by work traiting this and scheduling this joint congressional watchamacalit? >> what we have is a lot of boring dudes talking and one boring dude talking. let's get it all over with in one night. don't drag this out. >> he is a light weight playing with heavy heavyweights. if he was george bush he would declare in a heightened terror alert level and paralyze the nation during the republican debate. he is playing too light. >> it definitely keeps owe better man's theory. -- olberman's theory. >> it was on jacket slap and he took it back in his very first interview. >> i will start calling this the dana and anne show. i am feeling left out. >> i am feeling sexual tension. >> when john kerry got
momentum in the polls, i think you could physically -- >> no, that is a crazy left wing theory out of "rolling stone" magazine. >> the product of manhattan, "rolling stone." >> the video clerk employee magazine of choice, actually. why are we even having a joint session? you just do them. you hold a joint session of congress to declare war and not to have some plan that he has already given us a million times before. >> hasn't it become the simulation of the congress? >> i almost said that. >> wait a minute, you are stealing joe's talking points from the green room. >> i said it the whole way over here. >> and he comes in and regurge taits. >> the only part i was following was joint as in joint sessions of college.
>> i am moving on now. from head games to head gear. play land is more like fray land. i speak of the rye new york amusement park that was briefly closed on tuesday after a fight broke out because the fight refused to let muslim women wearing headscarves to go on the rides. a tour group lead by the muslim society of new york was at rye play land and named after the high fiber bread to celebrate a holiday marking the end of ramadan. they are not allowing head gear of any kind for safety reasons, and a policy officials say the tour operator was aware of. but apparently the word didn't get out to all of the group and some expressed displeasure. couples ensued and two park rangers were injured and 15 park visitors were arrested which reminds me of something.
joy that was cute. -- >> joe, that was cute. you are the real expert here. whose fault is this? is this the tour operator's fault? should he have made sure everybody knew the policy? what should he have done? >> it sounds like an effort to make the policy known was made. i don't understand what the debate is about. if you believe got put you hundreds of feet into the air and into his face. but if you expose your head to him it is unholy. >> do you think this is anti-muslim discrimination or is it a safety policy? >> i was in cairo in march, and i actually went to gieza, and i was allowed to wear my davie crockett hat. i think we should reciprocate.
i didn't even have to sign a release. >> you are still wearing the davie crockett hat. >> they won't let you have the flame shot. >> could the park have handled this differently? if they didn't ask these women to take them off and something happened, there would be a lawsuit. >> yeah, and there could be a death. >> i am not an expert, but i didn't know you had to go to the end of the play land. >> it brings up another point, bill, any place named play land is never fun. >> it is more like decay lands. >> they have to throw it in your face. they are trying to prove
something. >> they are looking for the machine. >> my mom thinks he was kidnapped. >> i knew him well. >> care was there as well, and i get -- let's say if they didn't -- if they didn't stop them from wearing it, couldn't that be seen as anti-muslim? >> don't stop it with headscarves. ban grown men wearing shirts and they are all at amusement parks. >> i would have to say, i would be less worried and more worried about the guy who will throw the entire train. >> anything that interfere wtz daily lives, you have to adhere to society's laws. correct? >> correct. >> that's all i wanted to hear.
>> should book reports be moot if you are super cute. j.c. penney thought so, and for the low low price of 16.99 your 76-year-old daughter could usher in the school year to say, quote, i am too pretty to do homework so my brother has to do it for me. it comes with a product description stating who has time for homework when there is a new justin bieber album. shockingly, ie predictably, some people have a problem with this. they called it a crippling message. and following several inquiries by the village voice, they respond with the following statement, quote again. we agree that the two pretty t-shirts does not deliver inappropriate messages and we had immediately discontinued its sale.
>> anne, what do you make of this? is j.c. penney woosing out? >> yes, and i think it will end my i will screw for a bc shirt. >> i have that too. >> i love bees. i really do. >> you are not a girl, but you have a girl's name. >> i don't. in any -- anything you will have people attracted and they are not really gifted. why fill them with lies. they should barter sooner rather than later.
does j.c. penney make you sick by caving in? you are a comedian and you have to apologize for anything. >> i don't have to apologize. i don't understand. it is not a poisonous mentality to promote. it is not like 7 and 16-year-old girls are the snotiest girls ever. they are not adding fuel to the fire here. i don't see what the big deal is. >> i saw the t-shirt and it is promoting incest. >> that is offensive. >> bill, would you buy this tee for your three i will legitimate daughter. >> i wish they made t-shirts that said "too pretty for school, period." because my three daughters have not been seen at school in over three months.
>> they don't know where it goes. >> i understand the concept of caving in and why it would be argued. but don't you agree -- and by the way, my hats off to the feminist for making it worth while. >> i went for the choke earlier, but it is poise news -- poisonous. do they have the right to do it and not tap out? do i hate them for tapping out? i think it is ethical. >> i think they should take it a little farther and ban all t-shirts with writing. >> that's a great point. the first amendment stops at your apparel. i would vote that in. >> she is a hipocrite. every time we go biking she
says, i am stupid. and make sure she is biking right next to me. >> i thought it was my -- never mind. i was going to say something even more disgusting. >> you are not talking about that. you want to shop for school. your eight-year-old girl shouldn't get that idea in her head at eight years old. >> if i am so stupid, how come i am the only one to wear a helmet. >> i have to move on. coming up, what is it like to lose your life by the private jet and lose your g's and make uh new top hat out of solid gold? we discuss dana vachon's latest book.
want to be free from dependence on fossil fuels. just joking. then stop dating him. referring clean energy investments instead. hannah says they hope obama doesn't give into oil lobbyists. cameras were there when they emerged from the police precinct. >> that was the wrong tape and somebody is getting fired for that. >> he looks pretty good. >> first of all this was a mistake. she was at the wrong protest. they thought there would be a protest on wall street too. no, leave her alone. look, money and power don't influence politicians. sit ins do.
>> that is true. >> these sit ins work. >> i would respect more if they were standing. but they were sitting. >> it was conserving energy. she was wearing an i'm too pretty to do homework t-shirt. it does prove that it is not true that darrell hannah can't get arrested. >> it's true. i will ask that later because i don't know the answer. dana, does she -- does any of her ideas have any merit at all. >> they have done some investing and he says alternative energy is a really good marketing campaign, but we are burning food instead of oil. that's what bio fuel is. >> it suggests your secondary
idea is that good. >> it is amazing. look at ethanol. are we raising more corn? >> it is like the hangover from the utopian nonsense. it makes sense for like brazil, but you are burning food and you are putting it into cars to go on highways to deliver it and you are using diesel for the trucks. fill the pipeline. >> why did they take her? they just arrested her. >> they didn't do it because they thought she was daryl hannah. who was that? your question was the wrong question. it is not we -- are we being too hard on daryl hannah, but what is hard on daryl hannah. i used to date a girl that used to get comparison to darrell han naw. now that i know what she was going to look like i am glad we broke
up. >> it is terrible. >> but bill looks great. >> yes, coming from bill. >> i base my career on not looking great. >> she was born in 1960. i think she looks good for -- >> 51. >> someone who doesn't use electricity. >> there was the man who smeared vaseline over the lens of the camera and would record her. >> terrible people. >> there #r* thousands of -- there are thousands of jobs and it is a wrong time to be engaged in folly like this. it is folly, i tell you. it is absolutely folly. >> what was the first technology if not fire? and what could it do?
it could burn you. you have to be responsible. >> and when dana says things like that to you over a candlelit dinner. >> call 212-462-5050. still to come, the half time report from andy levy, the jerk. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by tomatoes, the round fruit with bright redskin and flesh that can be eaten raw or cooked, though usually considered a vegetable for culinary purposes. thanks tomatoes.
let's find out if we got anything wrong so far. for that we go to andy levy. great job on hannah tee tonight. >> i think you shined. >> no, he asked good questions. i have to give him all of the credit. they report theatd republican -- that the republican senator jim demint, pick another night. i am planning to watch the primary debate and the president should watch it too. >> is that like a threat to him like the president better watch it.
>> the president should watch the debate too. >> he has a plan to put it out. if he has a jobs proposal give it a writing and i want to read the bill. >> did you see that, greg? >> he says he will deject to the session if the date isn't moved. and why are thees holding -- and why are they holding them hostage? >> that was an excellent point andy levy? >> they are just like terrorists. >> and racists. >> the president is black, you know. >> really? >> it came from a lack of sexual experience and being adopted.
>> really? >> i didn't know you were uh doptded. -- i didn't know you were adopted. >> when would it ever come up in conversation? >> do you want to have a beer? sure i'm adopted. >> we have a strict no adoption clause here. >> egyptian and adopted. >> with that being the answer to my question. >> you believed them? >> the parents said they wanted an egyptian baby. >> you told your parents you would grow up to be successful. >> can you not tell i am egyptian? i am a gold chain away from selling stereos. >> terrible. >> it is about my people.
>> also kind of about my people. >> it is not like they have them in the oval office. >> no, -- >> a lot of people said it was not a biggy vent, the hurricane. -- not a big event the hurricane. >> thanks for answering that question. >> and you said he wanted to stop. the whole give me your tired, your poor and 4ud -- it wasn't part of the original stat few of liberty and i will take them and i want high iq's. we don't need more cabbage pickers. by the way who is an adopted
arab. i found a teddy bear, i found a small child a migrant had to drop this. and i just started wheeping. thinking about the what the of this person and the loss of the teddy bear. >> i don't believe a single word that have story. >> open your next book with that. >> here is what i do believe. >> eyes are hanging off a loan thread you. >> are you sure you were not with bill? that sounds like bill at 3:00 a.m. >> what did you really do to the teddy bear alone in the desert? >> terrible. >> bill, you said what we have is a lot of boring dudes talking. should point out that michele bachmann, a woman, will be a part of the debate. >> i did not know that. >> i know you did not know
that. >> i loaned it to anne. i felt bad for her. >> joe, you said unless you are missing something, it sounds like an effort was made to put out the fact that the park has the head gear policy. this is part of their fault, end of story. the website clearly states, quote, some rides do not allow backpacks or head gear of any kind and park officials apparently the operator of this over and over again and it seems clear the tour operator didn't bother town form the people taking inventory. >> i am glad i got something correct tonight. >> are you not an expert, but said you didn't think you would have to go to an amusement park. renting out amusement parks or recreation centers is something they do to
celebrate. >> i stand corrected. >> look, i am with joe. this is a stupid shirt. kudos to jess saw bell for calling j.c. penney out. their commenters said something nice to me and the whole chris brown thing. i would like to further my love by saying how thoroughly disgusted i am by what dana said in this segment. >> there are certain dark realities, and they don't need to be on t-shirts, but it is the awful plight in many other areas. >> but we don't need six -year-old girls thinking that's what they will grow up to be. >> that's true. >> you refer to your three i will legitimate daughters. didn't you used to have four and what happened to david? >> i am going to have to see tape, and i don't know who david is. i have three daughters and possibly two.
>> i would like to think i know my own daughter, sir. >> i would like you to too. >> i would not like to go back to that. this is my hand. >> i am going to find out what happened to david. >> i don't know who david s. >> you will. >> david could be joe. >> you know, we don't know. >> you could be the father. you could be the father. you could be the father. >> a girl looked a lot like cleopatra. >> that's physically impossible. >> i would like it to be all three of you and we have a ted dan son scenario, and i am the little lady. >> daryl hannah arrest arrested.
if you are arrested one night and on hannity the next night, are you not really arrested. i am not going say that. i'm done. >> are you done? >> yes. >> all right. >> coming up, how do you tell the cure rater of your private picasso museum he failed to remove the seeds from your watermelon. we discuss dana vachon's newest book. >> why is germany taxing its prostitutes? maybe they wanted a piece of the action. count it.
>> they must have a ticket of them after doing business in one of the specially built wooden parking garages. violators face fines or could be banned. some say they already pay income tax. here is what some say. >> learn to speak english, lady. >> let's discuss this in the -- >> lightning round. >> what do you make of this revenue generating scheme. >> the fun, fun, fun, of the auto ban. >> i don't think you probably absorbed the feelings. >> i wouldn't have expected
any kind of answer. >> that's how i feel. >> as long as you have expressed yourself honestly, how can i attack you for your answer? >> i don't understand it. but now i do. >> should this happen in america where you live illegally? >> i thought you were asking should this happen? should it happen? i'm ticked. i thought it was already happening. and they are charging the extras saying they were due to taxes. >> it is actually a little toaster oven. >> and where do you stand on the whole idea of legal prostitution? are you surprised the whole thing is not legal in america or it is legal in nevada. technically that does -- that does president count.
-- doesn't count. as long as we are going to be cutting out the low wage workers, we could use some skilled german scientists to get them out of the degenerative hell hole. >> bill, you spent many days as a sex worker. did you pay taxes on what you earned? >> i have a lot, a lot, a lot of experience with sex tax meters. the man who sold it to me says it there was a bunch of electrodes on it. i don't think he would steer me wrong. >> isn't sex tax meter a song by lenny kravitz? >> yes, a very good one. it is off his "purple rain" album jie. but it was originally a gordon light foot song. >> i believe they call that sampling, joe.
>> according to a new president -- new report is, they are paying millions of dollars to do nothing. the usps can't lay it off during low volume periods. whether they sit in the cafeteria therks can be both and do nothing to the tune of 4.3 million so far this year. dana sthis a good argument as to why we should privatize the male system? private industry hasn't solved this either and then they fire everybody and pay huge break kedges during a bust and hire them all back. nobody figured this out. and for a $9 billion loss a year, the service will take a picture of you.
there is a lot of things you spend money on. it is a good investment. >> wow, you convinced me. >> come to think of it, i have always liked the postal service. >> they used to spend $30 million. that's a good sign, right? i don't know. just say what you want. >> i know you come to people, greg, for these quickie punch lines, and sometimes i have a thought. >> all right. >> and what do you make of this? >> the idea that the post office is doing a great job. it is against the law to compete with the post office.
you use federal express. the reason it has to be delivered overnight or within two days it makes it special. i'm sorry, no business pays for millions of people to sit around doing nothing as they do when the new york public school system and the post office. the only argument to keep them open is to remind them how badly they run things. >> mad dom, as somebody who gets paid a lot not to do anything i take offense to that. >> i saw the body painting thing of yours and that muss stash thing -- mustache thing. >> it was not part of my job description. >> it is in the private sector. >> they would like to. >> i don't think they want it like that. >> why do you think you have to make it against the law? if that's true let's repeal that law and let's see. it is against the law to compete. >> i don't think they would want that. >> we have to take a break.