>> demand it! neil: you are santa claus, you are hearing this. if you don't get fbn. >> ho, ho, demand it. >> neil: do it again. if you don't get -- good night! ♪ ♪ >> greg: happy thanksgiving, everyone. it's 5:00 on the east coast. 2:00 p.m. in oxnard. this is "the five." i'm greg gutfeld. introduce my co-hosts. she puts the cute in prosecute. it's kimberly guilfoyle. the fantastic to the left, bob beckel. the lion king of the right wing. eric bolling. she is so adorable that babies stop her on the street and say, "hey, you're adorable." it's dana perino. this show is stuffed tighter than grandma's turkey so gobble the facts. the show starts as soon as my medication wears off. ♪ ♪ >> greg: so, what do you do
when your college kid comes home for thanksgiving and his brain is filled with dumb ideas about life? now, i don't have kids. after all, how can i tell a brat what to do when my ankle bracelet keeps blinking? but that doesn't meeb i can't give advice. what if skippy changed his name to national committe che at america is at fault for everything. have him occupy the backyard. if he tells you that capitalism must be replaced with whatever, have him hand over the cell phone, the credit card and the laptop he got for his birthday. who needs the free market when singing "kumbaya" is always free? if he lectures dad that corporations are corrupt, remind him pop worked there to pay for tuition. help yourself, by the way. turkey is a vegetable with breasts. finally if che -- i mean skippy thinks he is special meaning a person that leads
not follows, easily resist brainwashing by bitter professors and anyone with hair died to match the cranberry sauce. if he doesn't, love him anyway. if you raised him well, it's like chickenpox. he will be infected once but immune for life. dana did you have naive ideas when you were younger? or were you always brilliant? >> dana: never. i remember one time i had come home, my freshman year and i was telling my dad how cool i thought buddhism was. he didn't think it was cool. i grew up in luth ran church. if you want to be a buddhist, be a buddhist, but on and on. i know it happens with younger people. i don't know if it happened to eric. >> eric: which part? buddhism in school? >> greg: eric was a jock so not only did he not have
political ideas, he had no ideas. >> eric: i had a few ideas. none of them happen to be useful now. but we had fun. i remember, let me put hit the way. che, right? my son is eric che. we call him che. i have to stop doing that. from now on it's over. >> dana: the name is over. >> greg: what if your son came home -- >> eric: we watch occupy stuff all the time. you can see him going they're young, they're kind of cool. you can see him signing in. no, no, no that's not what you want to do. you don't want to be that when you grow up stay away from that. >> greg: what if your son came home as a registered republican? >> bob: i'd disown him after i kick the hell out of him. i don't allow republicans in my house. >> greg: you don't allow them. >> bob: i don't. i might allow you in. when i was a kid, i went to a voting machine. a lesson, i was 13. my dad said see the democratic thing? pull it, good things happen. cars, women, money. what if i pull the republican
lever? he says you're going to die! from that point forward i can't get near republicans. >> dana: that is where you learned your scare tactics. >> bob: i still propes to be che when i get home at thig. >> eric: pull the lever, all the good things come to you for free. if you press the republic can one, you pay for them. >> bob: good. >> greg: he's admitting it. you came from the bay area. how did you escape with your common sense intact? were you nutty when you were -- >> kimberly: there was a bleak period of time where some people might say i was nutty. i think you know what i'm referring to. but i managed to be emancipated. i survived and escaped from the madness, the cult. and made it to the east coast. i have to swim across, but i flew the friendly i skies. >> bob: catholic girls school. >> bob: i learned to avoid boys like you. >> bob: they are the ones to hit on. catholic girls. >> kimberly: i wore my knee
socks. >> bob: i bet. >> greg: weird place now. when you go home to thanksgiving does everybody pepper you about the things you do, like when you work for bush? did they want to know everything? >> dana: one of my favorite thanksgiving when i get to go to newcastle wyoming, where my family lives. i have family in denver, as well. where my mom and dad and sister are. when i get to go to wyoming, it's usually 20-degrees below zero. i remember foppedly having to go out and feed the catle in the morning. and break ice. those things were icing when i was a kid. now i would be miserable if i had to do it. but they have a nice display like the one we have here. always really good food. a little awkward to eat turkey on a cattle ranch. >> eric: i did come up with something that i want to ask bob to come over for thanksgiving. but before he could come he has to realize what a day would look like at my house prior to thanksgiving. can we show the tape of that?
i'm on the right. that is eric che on the left. che, a 13-year-old now this is -- i got to tell you. i had a blast doing this. this is a gun range, bob. >> dana: that is great family togetherness. >> eric: absolutely. >> greg: the family that shoots together, shoots together. >> bob: if you step in front of that kid you'd be in trouble. this is where we're supposed to talk about going to your house? >> eric: yeah. >> bob: okay. by the way, my one thanksgiving memory my sister when i was drinking, she said you can't sit at the adult table. which was okay with me because all we were doing was complaining. i sat with the kids and they thought bob was funny. >> kimberly: you're more fun i bet. >> greg: technically we still are at the kid's table here. off in the corner. >> bob: i put my drink at the table. you can't bring that drink in
here! kid's table. it brought my booze. eric's house, this is what i vision. what it must be like at thanksgiving. everybody, it would be fun. everybody would have, except for me, a funny hat. silver hat like eric wears all the time. but the problem is eric wouldn't be there. you know why? eric would be starting that day doing, hosting fox and friends. then follow the money. see the hat. that is the bolling family at thanksgiving. eric would do the fox and friends. then the fox news channel thanksgiving special. he would host that. then he would host neil cavuto, followed by "follow the money." do "the five" with us. then he hosts "o'reilly" and then the repeat of "o'reilly." when he would finally come home andee'd all be gone. >> the problem with the hat, not so much the hat, but the trap underneath.
>> bob: let me clue you in, man. it was the hat. i felt for you. look at it. look at it. seriously. look at your 13-year-old kid look at his dad. >> dana: i don't think i'd get invited to bob's house for thanksgiving. bob's brother thinks i'm the best. >> bob: that is true. >> dana: he likes me. >> bob: you would love my brother. but he lives in california. >> greg: something tells me at thanksgiving in bob's house involves a phone call to boston market. >> bob: actually, there were six years where i had a bachelor/bachelorette thanksgiving and i did the cooking. i did. >> greg: what did your cooking entail? >> bob: a lot of drinking beforehand. so if they drink enough your turkey from boston market -- >> dana: what time of day do you eat thanksgiving dinner? i go back and forth. i'm kind of a 4:00 p.m.-- >> greg: it's usually around
4:00 and you fall asleep by 6:30 and you want everybody to leave by 7:30. then you wander around in a stupor until 11:00 and then you eat again and you get depressed. >> bob: that's right. i do it after dinner. the thing about thanksgiving, i can't stand like yams. they are terrible. cranberries are worse. >> eric: just turkey and mashed potatoes. >> bob: protein. after i'm done with thanksgiving, what i do is i'm not quite full. you can eat at thig. nobody boarries about it. go up to 7-eleven and order a ben andger iescherry garcia so i can have a treat. >> bob: how as a good liberal can you eat turkey knowing it had a mommy and daddy. >> bob: i don't think it did. >> greg: you don't think it did? >> bob: no. this is true. we talk about this in the makeup room. i hunt because deer die in the winter for lack of food. i've got the peta people down my neck on it.
i would love to turn my shotgun on them. >> kimberly: euthanasia the deer. >> bob: one big shotgun shell to the shoulder and it's done. >> eric: viewers love to know. do we separate the food or keep it together? >> dana: are you a food separator or do you mix it? can you eat a mouthful -- i can mix. i can have a bite of turkey and stuffing in the same bite. >> bob: this is not tv dinners. this is thanksgiving. >> dana: do you make your plate to look like a tv dinner? >> bob: no. put everything on the plate. >> kimberly: the last time i tried i did it wrong and it was upside down. the bag inside. >> eric: i twittered with her before the show whether i could tell the story. we had a few glasses of wine before dinner. she asked me to carve the turkey. i take it out, where are the
legs? aren't the legs -- the turkey doesn't have legs? it was upside down. >> kimberly: bag inside? frozen. >> eric: yes. >> bob: i bet she did took -- >> kimberly: i decided maybe it should be done like that every year. >> bob: that was your last husband you cooked. [ laughter ] >> kimberly: oh, yes! >> greg: nicely done. coming up, hide the children. bob is going to tell us his most memorable thanksgiving story. we want to hear yours as well. so e-mail us. firstname.lastname@example.org. ♪ ♪ [ coughs ]
what is thishorty? uh, tissues si i'm sick. you don't cough, you d't show defeat. give me your war face! raaah! [ male announcer ] halls. a pep talk in every drop. i took some steep risks in my teens. i'd never ride without one now. and since my doctor prescribed lipitor, i won't go without it for my high cholesterol and my risk of heart attack. why kid myself? diet and exercise weren't lowering my cholesterol enough. now i'm eating healthier, exercising more, taking lipitor. numbers don't lie. my cholesterol's stayed down. lipitor is fda approved to reduce the risk of heart attack and stroke in patients who have heart disease or risk factors for heart disease. it's backed by over 19 yes of research. [ femalannouncer ] lipitor is not for everyone, including people with liver problems and women who are nursing, pregnant or may become pregnant. you need simple blood tests to check for liver problems. tell your doctor if you are taking other medications, or if you have any muscle pain or weakness. this may be a sign of a rare but serio side effect. [ man ] still lo that wind in my face talk to your doctor. don't kid yourself about the risk of heart attack and stroke.
if lipitor's been working for you, stay with it. lipitor may be available for as little as $4 a month with the lipitor co-pay card. terms and conditions apply. learn more at lipitorforyou.com. terms and conditions apply. diabetes testing? it's all the same. nothing changes. then try this. freestyle lite® blood glucose test strip. sure, but it's not gonna-- [beep] wow. yep, that's the patented freestyle zipwik™ design. did it just-- [both] target the blood? yeah, drew it right in. the test starts fast. you need just a third the blood of one touch.® that is different. so freestyle lite test strips make testing... easy? easy. great. call or click-- we'll send you strips and a meter, free. free is good. freestyle lite test strips. call or click today. i refer to her as "that woman with the great gums." as jill's dentist, i know that her gums are a foundation of a healthy smile. jill knows that, too -- so she uses crest pro-health clinical gum protection toothpaste. it helps eliminate plaque at the gum line, helping prevent gingivitis. it's even clinically proven to help reverse it in just 4 weeks.
♪ ♪ >> dana: happy thanksgiving, everyone. welcome back. we want to share our favorite thanksgiving memory with you. with bob interrupting. >> bob: i apologize. >> dana: we were talking about our favorite thanksgiving memories. of course, at my age, you've had a lot of thanksgivings. good memories. >> greg: you're very old, dana. >> dana: i thought i'd throw that in. but one memory that sticks out for me in the last several
years, when i was junior staffer at the white house. junior birdman. we're at our thanksgiving. all of a sudden we look up and we find out that president bush has take an surprise trip. nobody knew he was going to iraq to visit the troops. this is 2003. i went back and reread in decision point his book about the decision to go there. it was risky. his daughter barbara said he was scared and wanted him to come back. he is determined to go. the press didn't know about it. they were quite angry. the troops and some of the shock that he had come all the way was really amazing. he didn't get to stay long, just about 12 hours an came back home. one of my favorite things about that is a good friend of mine dan bartlett, communication director at the white house at the time. they came back and landed in waco, texas, president bush went on to the ranch. dan got in his car to go to houston. he stopped to get gas and he went in and a woman running the cash register said would you look at that.
president bush went all the way to iraq. dan said i don't know what came over to me and i decided to say yeah, i was with him. she said oh, okay. right. sure you were. but he really was. >> that is more of george bush than i've seen in the last three years. it was good. >> dana: great trip. >> bob: it was good. my favorite -- well, two quick. my favorite thanksgiving is when my kids got big enough to stop throwing drum shticks at each other. having little kids at thanksgiving a waste of time. >> greg: what happened to -- >> bob: listen, my favorite was i got invited to this tony thanksgiving thing out in the horse country of virginia ooze of washington. the hostess had spent weeks preparing this old fashioned thanksgiving. she asked everybody to invited to bring their favorite appetizer. so i brought some cold substances with me. so just before the dinner started, i proceeded to hand
out my controlled substances. everybody did it. and this particular controlled substance, if you know what i mean, you don't get hungry after that. so nobody ate her meal. that was the end of it. i was thrown out. >> eric: stop it! >> bob: it was 15 years ago. >> eric: this is thanksgiving. >> bob: what did i say? >> eric: c'mon. >> kimberly: check the food. >> bob: you are hitting me because i said the story? >> dana: save us. what was your favorite thanksgiving story? >> eric: it involved cooking the turkey. my wife and i son were supposed to go away for thanksgiving. the big storm comes, rain, whatever the flight is canceled and we can't go. we're home. we invite the family over, everyone comes over. too late to get everything together. i am going to get in trouble for this. she goes to the mail order, the honey baked places. sends it in, the turkey breast. they come, microwave
nonetheless, it comes out like rubber. we have no turkey for thanksgiving. >> bob: you're not supposed to cook them. >> eric: heat them up. we didn't know. >> dana: do you cook at thanksgiving? >> greg: that was cute. my last 20 years of my life, i have lived away from home. in different countrys. across the country. so i'm always the guy that is invited to other people's homes because they feel sorry for him. i'm the pathetic person. >> dana: the orphan. >> greg: i'm the orphan. because i am the orphan, there is only one thing to do, drink. it usually drink a lot at the id's table. i have no memory. i don't a sing 8 hemry of thanksgiving. >> dana: when you were overseas did you celebrate thanksgiving? >> greg: no. that was a blur. >> bob: when i was in the peace corps in the philippines they invited to us come to thanksgiving dinner. they cooked the complete pig. pig with the snout and
everything. now that -- >> dana: kimberly, what was your favorite thing? >> kimberly: i didn't have to cook and i did the dishes. i like doing dishes. bring a dish washing outfit, cute apron and i do the dishes. everyone is happy. >> bob: maid's outfit or something. >> eric: anyone had deep fried turkey? >> dana: yes, love it. >> eric: never had it. >> dana: you have to follow directions carefully. >> eric: deep fried. >> dana: it can be dangerous. you have to make sure, don't try it at home. >> kimberly: it can catch on fire. >> greg: i notice i'm getting older at thanksgiving. every thanksgiving bruce willis in "die hard" looks younger. you go wow, he was really young back then. no, you're just old. >> dana: what was your favorite thanksgiving? >> greg: watching "die hard." it is always on, on thanksgiving weekend. >> bob: "silence of the lambs." it's a great movie.
i've seen it 80 times. i had a steak for dinner. >> eric: watching "die hard" and you watch -- what? >> bob: "silence of the lam lamb." >> football! >> kimberly: i was my dallas cowboy cheerleader outfit ready to go. >> eric: you have a lot of outfits. >> dana: i got to step it up in the costume department. >> greg: you can borrow my outfit. the same size. >> dana: right. all right. coming up, the five of us have picked our top turkey of the year. we aren't talking about the one you eat. that's next. coming up on "the five." last thanksgiving, abo 2 million people
tried to deep-fat-fry their turkey 15 succeeded in setting thr houses on fire. at christmas, there was a lot of driving ovethe river and through the woods. and a lite bit of skidding on the ice and taking out grandma's garage door. so while you're celebrating, allstate will be standing by. trouble never takes a holiday. neither should your insurance. that's allstate's stand. are you in good hands? ♪ are you in good hands? where they grow america's favorite wpotoes. idaho, everyone knows idaho potatoes taste great. but did you know they'reood for you too? they're high in vitamins and potassium. and idaho potatoes are now certified to carry
the heart checkmark from the american heart assoction for foods low in saturated fat and cholesterol. so they're good for my family, and for yours. heart smart idaho potatoes. always look for the grown in idaho seal. ♪ ♪ ♪ when the things that you need ♪ ♪ come at just the right speed, that's logistics. ♪ ♪ medicine that can't wait legal briefs there by eight, ♪ ♪ that's logistics. ♪
♪ freight for you, box for me box that keeps you healthy, ♪ ♪ that's logistics. ♪ ♪ saving time, cutting stress, when you use ups ♪ ♪ that's logistics. ♪ we asked total strangers to watch it for us. thank you so much, i appreciate it, i'll be right back. they didn't take a dime. how much in fees does your bank take to watch your money ? if your bank takes more money than a stranger, you need an ally. ally bank. no nonsense. just people sense. and last chance at medicare open enrollment, too. what do yean? it ends december 7th. if you haven't reviewed your medicare plan oices yet, well, it's getting late. medicare gives you free cancer screenings and wellness visits,
>> bob: that is a great choice of music. okay. welcome back to "the five." thig special. you notice i'm in the "c" block. but it's the holidays. turkey time. our time to pick our turkey of the year, that is. i'm going to start since it's my segment and probably the last time i'll be this high on the show. my turkey -- >> bob: you'll be high later. >> bob: no more. first of all, let me say about my turkey. a good guy, great marketer but a turkey. donald trump. trump andvy been going back and forth this year. he wants me fired, i want him to be honest about his lack of political awareness. but nonetheless, he is a good guy. let me show you a clip of donald. show you that the humility of the man. this is at new hampshire. we got this. just got a picture. >> today, i'm very proud of
myself. because i have accomplished something that no one else has been able to accomplish. our president has finally released a birth certificate. /am really honored to have played such a big role in hopefully getting rid of this issue. >> bob: okay, donald, the other thing that you convince people of is you know something about politics. the second place turkey are people in the republican field that went to donald trump's place for political advice and political support. give me a break. he is a good guy in so many ways. politics ain't his bag. who is your turkey? >> eric: i didn't know we had second and third place. >> bob: it's my segment. my turkey of the year is clearly, wait for it. president obama of course. >> bob: you got to say it. >> eric: 14 million people out of work, more people can't afford a meal like this.
48 million on food stamps. poverty level, as high as it's ever been. you are staying on unemployment 40 weeks on average right now, up from 19 week when president obama took over. he keeps, he has added four, sorry, $5 trillion in debt. $5 trillion in debt in three years. at that rate, you will have added, i don't know, be up to $20 trillion in debt over the presidency. most importantly, because i go, before i turn it over he won't wear an american flag. in honor of mr. obama, why don't you wear one. >> bob: we haven't heard that except for 10,000 times. dana? >> dana: i went with warren buffett. then i made a graphic because i didn't know if we had anybody -- >> bob: made a graphic. >> dana: you know how you make a turkey out of your hands? i went with warren buffett who is a wealthy billionaire. somebody who has been wildly successful in his life as an
investor. this is a year that he really decided to stick it to the man below him, which is he the one calling for more taxes. if he wants to pay more taxes, he is more than able to do so. but then on the other side, the reason i think she a turkey his companies don't practice what he himself is preaching. he gets the turkey of the year award. >> greg: i can't believe you did that. >> kimberly: like a kid. >> eric: took back of the la pel pin and threw it in cranberry. >> greg: he can't have good things. >> eric: can i point something out about warren buffett? he says he wants to pay more taxes but if you talk about berkshire hathaway where both of his income is earned if you raise taxes on berkshire hathaway he doesn't want any part of that. >> dana: those weren't funny. does anyone have a funny one? >> greg: donald trump is funny michigan bookie is calling again.
want to talk to him? >> dana: no. >> kimberly: my guy, everyone will agree. we'll have consensus on him. bill maher for so many reasons. every time his lips are moving, he is being a turkey. right? you disagree? >> now that hosni mubarak released laura logan, he must put her intrepid hotness on a plane immediately. in exchange, we will send elizabeth hasselbeck. tim tebow is cuckoo for christianity he used to write bible verses in the charcoal under his eyes. creepy to some but for some in america they couldn't love him more if he was sculpted out of bacon. >> bob: for those of us on the left that defend your sorry ass shut up. just shut up. >> kimberly: consensus. >> eric: 4-1, since bill maher picked on christian conservative. bill maher is not on tv right
now is he? >> bob: yeah, he is. >> dana: no idea. >> greg: saddest thing for him is he was on "the view" last week and a chance for elizabeth to challenge him on the assorted joke and he was a wuss. his only response is i'm a comedian. if her husband was there, if there was a man there, he would have run out of there for fear of his life. >> eric: did you do your turkey yet? >> greg: no. >> dana: speaking of a man. >> bob: you went out of order. go ahead. >> greg: my turkey is anthony weiner. roll the clip and i'll tell you why. >> dana: that is a weiner, not a turkey. >> the question, hack or a prank that someone posted on my twitter page. >> last friday night i wheated a photograph of myself i intended to send as a message as part of a joke to woman in seattle. i exchanged message and photos of explicit nature with six women in the last three years and i am not resigning. >> unfortunately the
distraction that i created made that impossible. so today i am announcing my resignation from congress. >> greg: you know why this is a turkey? he is literally a turkey. i do a show late at night called "red eye" and every day we have meetings, what are we going to do. imagine a turkey in your fridge when you have it for the week. you open up the fridge and take a piece off. you eat it. the next day you go in and keeps you from looking for other food. anthony weiner was "red eye's" turkey. every day, we pulled a part of him off and did an "a" block. we fed off weiner for months. >> bob: you should thank the guy. >> greg: no, he is a turkey. tortureed med fore. >> bob: what is a simile thing? >> like or as. >> eric: they have turkey wieners. >> bob: have you had turkey dogs? >> dana: i like turkey
franks and turkey burgers. >> bob: if you had a second place, since you have been so nice here today, you want two turkeys. pick one. >> kimberly: pick another turkey. besides me. >> kimberly: charlie sheen. is that a good one? >> bob: what happened to charlie. >> kimberly: he's winning. >> bob: he's out there. >> eric: no one picked occupy wall street as a turkey. >> bob: because it's -- unlike people they are protesting. >> greg: that's a turkey. every day you pull something out of there. >> bob: i'm glad i waited an extra 30 seconds to give you a shot at that. coming up, i have advice for anyone getting on an airplane this weekend. in the meantime, to get another serving of stuffing, because "the five" thanksgiving special will be right back. ♪ ♪ ♪
[ jim ] i need to push out a software upgrade. build a new app for the sas team in beijing. and convince the c.e.o. his email will find him... wherever he is. i need to see my family while they're still awake. [ malennouncer ] with global services from dell, jim can address his company's i.t. needs through custom built applications, cloud solutions and ongoing support in over 100 countries. so his company sees results. and jim sees his family. dell. the power to do more.
♪ ♪ >> kimberly: we hope you are having a happy thanksgiving. we have want to thank you for sharing your homes with us today. so we'll start with travel advice, just in case you need some. of course, who else would we go to for travel advice. bob beckel h tips. >> bob: thank you for sharing your house with us? okay, miss manners. >> kimberly: you could use some. >> bob: i put together. it had top ten but the producers cut five of them because they were racy. number one, don't sit on the aisle if you sleep. i tell you why. the two people inside of you -- the two people inside of you try to get up to go to the bathroom and a big slob is falling asleep you can't get over him. it makes for uncomfortable flying. that ever happen to you this
>> greg: i want to opponent out -- i want to point out where you said you only fly first class. >> kimberly: 1ers. >> bob: i have a lot of frequent flier miles getting back and forth to prison. >> greg: i'll take that. b. have you had it happen to you? >> dana: but i'm small, i can slip on out. but i plan ahead. if i know i have a window seat, i always use the restroom beforehand and hopefully then i don't have to go in the flight. >> greg: you could probably sleep in the upper baggage handler. >> bob: you both could do it. all right, my second one is make sure your crying baby -- how many of you have had this? bring a fresh diaper. okay. first, you shouldn't bring crying babies on planes to begin with. if you bring them on with dirty diapers, it's disgusting. i remember once -- >> greg: oh, no. >> bob: i had to carry my kid down the aisle.
>> greg: don't get in edale. >> bob: carrying him down the aisle and the whole plane disappeared. they went out for air. except for one drunk who said what a cute kid. then oh, my god. >> dana: not so cute. >> bob: does it bother you? >> eric: not at all. >> dana: you said get kids out of a restaurant. >> eric: that wasn't me. had to be someone else. >> kimberly: "top kill." >> eric: they are more worried about it than me. >> greg: that is why you have ipod. wasn't the intention of portable music devices, nothing should bother you. put in your head phones. >> kimberly: you can't travel the holidays without babies on a plane. babies on a plane. whatever. >> greg: get through the smell, ambien. you won't smell anything. >> bob: popers are great. my third one. listen, if you take your shoeing off, wear clean socks. all right? not something that has spent
ten years in your athletic locker. i mean -- >> kimberly: i agree. >> bob: some people take shoes off and it goes seven rows back. >> dana: attire on plane has changed. people wear gray sweatpants and dirty clothes on a plane to be comfortable for a flight. that bugs me. >> greg: old days people would wear suits. >> kimberly: and a hat. >> greg: from the '30s. >> bob: move on here. don't buy your dog a person seat. >> eric: why not? >> bob: they sit there and do -- >> eric: i love dogs. that's great. you love your dog. >> bob: but let him be in the hole with everybody else's dog. >> dana: rember when we went to atlanta and i was in coach and you were in first class and the woman behind me had a bet bird and talking baby talk to the bird the whole time. >> bob: people talking baby talk -- >> eric: hold on. time out. why were you in coach if he was in first class? >> greg: he is a 1%.
>> bob: frequent flier miles. my last one, if you have to fly with teenagers on a plane, all they say is "like," like, like. every other word is like. go to the marshall and have them shoot him -- marshal and have him shoot him. >> kimberly: that's appropriate. >> bob: the marshals, they don't penetrate -- stun gun. can you stand -- i'm serious. can you stand a teenager going like, like, like. >> dana: they talk like this all the time. driving me craze. >> greg: one thing you didn't bring up that is interesting a debate that almost about capitalism and the free markets. he's the recline button. everybody has a recline button. there are people that use the recline button that don't like it when you use your own. i can go all the way back but you can't. dunkin' they get irritated. everybody has a recline button and the freedom to recline. >> bob: do you agree with
this? why would anybody with a brain cell left, i don't have many, why would anybody fly on holiday? >> dana: there are 1 million more people nighing this thanksgiving than last year. >> kimberly: it's the economy. >> eric: why can't i use my blackberry on the plane? >> dana: it's a conspiracy. they say that you can't. >> eric: thank you. >> dana: they say that the frequency is -- because we are, bob and i traveled a lot this year. do a lot of commuting,vy dos and don'ts. ♪ ♪ >> dana: for travelers. these are very important. first, do not speak loudly in your blue tooth. and don't have nonsense conversation. yep, be on time. nothing going on here. nothing worse than having to listen to someone blah, blah conversation. something sensitive, if you are in the middle of the litigation. don't talk about it on your cell. that is a problem. also, do not use the seat in front of you as leverage to get up.
if you are home in your la-z-boy chair you don't do it that. don't do it on airplane. the third one, you can bring snacks on an airplane, and you should. don't bring something that smells like fish. fish does not belong on airplane ever. and the final one, if you are going to go through security, you know you take your shoes off, wear slip off shoes. women in short skirts with high-heel slip on boots, it's not dignified. men, don't wear flip-flops. >> greg: is that directed at kimberly. >> kimberly: she is looking at me. >> kimberly: i didn't! >> dana: did you wear that? >> bob: if you fly a lot, you should be ready to go through the damn line. run up to the plastic bins and all of a sudden they start take this off, this off, this off. >> dana: sorry, my wallet is in my pocket. >> bob: following old people in store with a coupon. >> eric: then women who have to go to their purse and
search for it. >> dana: get your money ready before putting your ticket at the garbage garage. >> greg: you need fly a lot airlines that sign up to look how often you fly. if you fly three or four types a month you are eligible for fly a lot. no line. >> dana: that is the innovation that america needs. this shows that president obama is wrong. americans are not lazy. we have great ideas. >> greg: i just came up with it. >> kimberly: it's like my underwear and bra are setting off all the alarms. i know they're not. >> greg: it's alarming. >> bob: you need to get through security. >> kimberly: did you know that bob beckel gets up at 6:00 a.m. on black friday to hit the mall and do his christmas shopping? yeah, right. he will tell us all about it. that's coming up next. ♪ ♪
[husband:] getting cold out here. [wife:] in here too. we need more affordable energy in this country. we need to protect the environment. what about the economy? what about our planet? [announcer:] at conocophillips, we're helping power america's economy with cleaner, affordable natural gas. more jobs. less emissions. a good answer for everyone. so with affordable energy that we can get to safely... we could afford to eat out more often. our daughter likes my cooking. don't you lori... lori? [announcer:] conocophillips. by the hand-selected wood trim... the 38 1/2 inches of legroom... and the reclinable, heated napa leather seats inside the jeep grand cherokee, just wait until we tell you about the heated and ventilated front seats. ♪
♪ congratulations. congralations. today, the city of charlotte can use verizon technology to inspire binesses to conserve energy and monitor costs. making communities greener... congratulations. ... and buildings as valuable to the bottom line... whoa ! ... as the people inside them. congratulations. because when you add verizon to your company, you don't just add, you multiply. ♪ discover something new... verizon.
>> eric: welcome back to "the five" thanksgiving special. happy thanksgiving every at home. tomorrow is the biggest shopping day of the year. i plan to avoid it all to come here to work with the rest of you guys. i know you want to talk about your mall experience. what are you doing tomorrow? >> kimberly: i revel in black friday. it's like my dream come true. every year, i'm so excited. we get shopping in. come to work as well. but that's where you get the deals. people camp out in tents, everything. best buy. get great bargains and get the shopping done ahead of time. >> greg: this bothers me. i learned something about me that disturbing me. you're a racist. it boycott black friday. why is it called black friday? i don't know. at any apartment it's rainbow friday and i put on musicals for the kids which is what i call the emptilyquer bottles. >> dana: and illegals. >> eric: wait a minute. you put on musicals for the kids. >> greg: the liquor bottles. >> eric: i got you.
bob? >> bob: it's the stores that are the first time they go in black. >> dana: thank you. i will no more go to a mall -- going to a mall anyway. the slowest day of the year i won't go to one. first after all, thanksgiving, black friday you have to fight a guido for a parking spot. >> kimberly: oh, my gosh. you did not say that. >> eric: fight a guido? >> kimberly: you can't say that. >> bob: i tell them what i am talking about. some redneck that is -- >> greg: why do you hate -- why can't we call it beneton friday? every color. >> eric: he is still digging. let him go. >> bob: when in a hole, get rid of the shovel. you're in line to pay and senior citizens with their senior citizens discount card and you've got to wait for them to hold out -- >> greg: you hate everybody. >> bob: that's wrong. i just think --
>> eric: italians and elderly. >> bob: the other thing is you have to be -- talk about the teenagers. all the girls walking around saying like all the time and they dress like hookers. >> greg: old people, teenagers -- >> bob: guys wear their hats. >> kimberly: this is a thanksgiving show. we give thanks for positive -- >> bob: i'm giving thanks not going to the mall. >> eric: tell us what happens. what do you do on black friday? >> dana: i used to go to the mall. it totally lost its -- i love the online shopping. if i have to do it at all. i had my first weekend in new york. i actually tried to run errands. i nearly had a panic attack. did something never done before and i apologize on the air. i abandoned on my cart full of stuff at the checkout line. i was so upset. >> bob: that's why i love you. if you apologize for that. if i had to give an apology for something i've done, you couldn't have 50 shows to get that done. apologize for leaving a cart.
>> bob: she abandoned it in the east river. >> dana: no! >> bob: i bet she feels badly about it. >> eric: can we talk about the most important part of black friday? football! of course. >> kimberly: i love football. >> eric: thanksgiving, black friday. big games talk about. let's do the college game first. yolike texas ames -- texas at texas ames. >> dana: no, i actually i went -- i don't know anything about football. i'm sure that is a big surprise to people. i went with ames because george h.w. bush, 41, inducted in the ames college hall of fame this weekend. i think he is planning to go to the game with his lovely bride, m. barbara bush so i choose them. >> greg: can i help out. i know a little about football. longhorns is actually a bull. ames are two letters. a bull will beat two letters. >> dana: rock, paper scissors. >> eric: the line in the
game is 8-1/2. >> bob: i am going -- ames, the onla&mthe only school that s for the entire game, the student body. i think they will crush longhorns. i'm for a&m. >> kimberly: what about me? aggies. >> eric: going with the aggies. >> kimberly: go aggies. i'm aggies from u.c. davis. >> eric: but you're bay area native. >> kimberly: yeah! >> bob: san francisco is the most overrated team. >> kimberly: no they're not. dynasty. >> eric: i'm going with kimberly on san francisco. best offense against the best defense. i think offense wins. >> greg: i can't take the baltimore ravens seriously. it sounds like a girl group in '60s. >> dana: first time two brothers as coaches. >> eric: right. harbaraugh brothers. >> dana: porter told me before. >> eric: arkansas at lsu.
♪ [ male announcer ] you've reached the age where you don't back down from a challenge. this is the age of knowing how to make things happen. so, why would you let something like erectile dysfunction get in your way? isn't it time you talked to your dtor about viagra? 20 million men already have. with every age comes responsibility. ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex.
do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain, as it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects may include headache, flushing, upset stomach, and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours. stop taking viagra and call your doctor right away if you experience a suen decrease or loss in vision or hearing. this is the age of taking action. viagra. talk to your doctor. see if america's most prescribed ed treatment is right for you.
♪ ♪ >> greg: welcome back to "the five" thanksgiving special. what are you thankful for? i'm thankful for fox news. without it i'd be under a car. >> kimberly: i appreciate that. i'm thank. for my little boy. >> bob: i'm thankful for spending thig with my kids, two greatest kids in world and thankful being part of "the five." >> eric: i'm thankful for intrepidly hot wife, teenage son and dog who is a good boy and thankful to be with you. >> dana: fox family. i am thankful for this second, you know, next chapter of my life after the opportunity to be the white house press secretary and thank that eric was there the day that bob had the situation with the shrimp. a moment -- >> greg: who is not thankful was the shrimp. >> bob: most of the right wingers in america.