tv Red Eye FOX News May 16, 2012 12:00am-1:00am PDT
no, no, no. i can concur with you. >> bob: i'm bad. sorry. i thought we were trying to burn time. i didn't want to embarrass you, dead air. excuse me. >> dana: now we won't know what the word is. what if welcome to" red eye." i am greg gutfeld. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> thanks, deborah, and yours is no disgrace. our top story, president obama gets the women of "the view" to explain why they will make it easier for drones to monitor americans. i am kidding. you talked about kim kardashian. and what president added information of himself to the bios of other presidents at white house .gov. i will give you the one guess. and a new al-qaeda training manual had trainees to imagine themselves in paradise and potential recruits go a week
without using electronics, talking in a low voice and not leaving their apartment. i think that is paradise. >> what would be your idea of being inside paradise? >> i think i just told you. >> bye. let's welcome our guests. she is so hot that hot topic is now called jedediah bila topic. i am here with amac columnist, jedediah bila. he -- she is the author of " outnumbered." he is so sharp he moon lights as a circular saw. it is jaime weinstein, editor of "the daily caller" and his stench is coming out with his own cologne. congratulations. it is my sidekick, bill schulz. and he is so tough he brushes his teeth with a belt sander and gar gels with bleach and shaves with a lawn mower. it is terry safford.
and our new york times correspondent, good to see you, pinch. >> writer judy blume asked the following question, are sex scenes filmed differently when it is from a women's perspective? haven't read the article, but the answer is, who cares ? dames couldn't vote when i was born, so don't bore me with this crap and give me porn. or as they used to call it, stag films. >> those were the days. collecting the postcards from the beach. >> the press room was filled exclusively with men, and we preferred it. is it a sin to know about kim? the president has shown he is expert in all things kardashian after talking pop culture on "the view" on monday obama went from the white house to the smelly couch where the co-hosts grilled him on a certain celebrity. roll the tape. >> i have some questions. >> fire uh wai.
>> let's see what you were read jig which kardashian was married only 72 days? >> that would be kim. >> very good. >> it was a ballplayer. that's how i know is from watching basketball. >> yes, you knew it from basketball. i use that excuse all the time when i am caught wearing my sister's clothing. anyway, the president has the gaze and now he is going for the gals telling babs and company, quote, i love hanging out with women. and he said this junk. >> now you have officially kicked off your campaign for a second term. it was tight with john mccain in 2008. how tight do you think it will be with mitt romney. >> when your name is barack obama it is always tight. >> barak hussein obama. >> the co-host neglected to
ask obama about this. >> bill? >> once again. consequences of gay marriage. >> i wilt -- will once again tell you, i love the apocalypse. >> once you have gay marriage all of the cats are beating up on the dogs. it is the end of the world. jedediah, as a fan of president obama and "the view" this must have been a nirvana for you. >> it was great. i like these segments. i like the fact that -- i do. i have to give him some props. >> what does props mean some. >> props, kudos, like good job. >> are you propositioning our
commander-in-chief? >> that i am not doing, i can promise you. >> the gun they use in a play, a fake gun? >> i am talking a thumbs up. >> are you selling him property? >> you mean proper respect? >> is that what it stands for? >> it is a word i hate. >> thank you for educating us. thank you. >> go ahead. >> andrew breitbart, my buddy, understood this well. you have to penetrate pop culture. these are the little battles, but the war is getting out there and speaking to our kids and getting them to understand who you are and what you are about. this is what he does best. she a campaigner. he has a way of shaping hope and change and making it interesting. and this is the way he resonates. it is not via policy, but via stuff like this. >> you are a closet communist. here is what she is saying. she says she would prefer to have a president who is keeping up with the kardashians in assisted of keeping up with iran. >> i am outraged. >> that's not what i said.
>> that's exactly what you said, young lady. and don't let your polka dots -- >> are you .ing at me? >> you are being sternly lectured. >> try and salvage this segment. this is a big deal when our president has to know. this isn't pop culture. this is trash culture. >> do you think so? >> i don't know. >> you have been on "the view" a lot. >> in the last year it has been 74 times. >> he is a cool dude. i wonder if he had handlers that helped with the pop culture stuff. you remember when he was doing and a longtime ago he was campaigning. >> oh i don't like the cubs, i like the whoit sox. the white sox. >> i wonder if somebody told him about kim kardashian. >> it probably wasn't dana marine know. >> it wasn't her. >> jaime, he said he knew about the kardashians from basketball.
is he lie together american public? and for that should he be impeached? i seem to be the only one outraged about this. >> when you are flipping through the tv on a sunday and go by the kardashians, sometimes you stay longer than you are supposed to. i think he may have known it other ways than basketball. >> it is like pulling over on the side of the road because you see something weird and you hang out there for awhile. and then you end up doing something weird. >> what intrigued me is the political point he tried to make. they asked is this going to be close? he said with a name like barack obama it is always close. he could be osama bin laden or hitler and if his campaign was doing well he would win in a landslide. >> i am over the victim stuff with the name. we got it. we know you are fighting the uphill battle. >> and he was elected with the name before. >> he kind of insults us for being racist. >> well, he is right in your
case. >> on the economy, he should spend less time on "the view." more time on the economy. >> bill, you dated one of kim kardashian's discarded shoes which later dumped you in a horrible break up. do women cost him the macho cool vote that is me? >> the shoe got the dog in the divorce. i was very sad. they asked him about 50 shades of gray. they asked the most powerful man in the world about soft core porn for women. china, you won. that's it. that is where we are at as a society. >> they are helping him. this is how this guy got elected in 2008. he did this. he spoke about hope and change and he never defined who that was. he made people laugh and smile and he was a cool guy and that's how he got elected. they are helping him and he
said if it worked the first time, even though your policies stink it could work again. it could work again. >> the people are awesome. who is not to side -- >> well he said the people that are watching are going to vote for the people watching the view are already in the -- by the way, i thought "50 shades of gray" was a story of robin williams' naked back. sorry. bill, you weren't even listening, were you? you were thinking about something else. y. >> i'm two books into the series. >> you are two books into something. here is the deal. "the view" is like going into a hot tub for president obama. there is going to be no sharp objects. but he should be watching "justified." he should not be watching "the
kardsashians." >> from menopausal hosts to socialist hosts, does four years of higher education end with leftist indock trough nation, will the commencement speakers found that the 10 con so -- 10 conservatives have scheduled to speak at the top 100 universities there are 100 in america and a whooping 16 obama officials that have been hired to spew their slop. more than all of the republicans combine eds. the young mesh's foundation that did the research found that it was just as sonya sew tau mayo at nyu white house advisor at america university and most shocking of all, the corpses of carl marx and his mess seeming is dare to dream. and his message is dare to dream. the cowboy has pho nay gelled his way into a speaking engagement at berkeley.
>> that's along -- that's a little too rough. >> you can tell those trust funded twirps what is what. >> you are an accomplished guy. you have done a lot with your life. i know you don't feel that way, but i do. shouldn't you be speaking at these engagements instead of the typical names you hear? >> they would be board out of their mind listening to me. >> what would you say? >> all of the stuff how the classes you took the last four years are not going to help you. and the world is filled with a lot of sharp edges, claws and teeth and you have to fight for what you care about, and you should stop smoking weed right now. i would be so unpopular. >> are you surprised by the conservative professors professors are outnumbered 3 to 1 and it is 7 to 1 -- >> this has been going forever. at cornell the government department, president bush's cabinet had more i'd logical diversity than our government
department. and we had martin luther king, junior's son speak at our graduation who had almost no accomplishments. it was the typical left wing dribble. i have a theory. all of the political speakers from the left or the right should be thrown away. no one remember what's they say. it is always worthless. always have a funny comedian. even after you get drunk in the post graduation festivities you may remember the enjoyment of a funny speech. you are not going to remember the nonsense they tell you. jay i don't even remember who micah mens meant speaker was. >> i -- my commencement speaker was. >> i taught college. >> speaking from experience this is very common. this is left wing ago caw deem yaw -- academia. they ostracize you and drive you crazy. >> would you assume something would be heckled. >> i was.
i have been there. when i went back to teachers and it was how they kind of had a problem with my stickers that were on the walls even though you would turn around and see the anti-bush rhetoric. these stories are true that you hear. >> that is a good po nie t. when they choose a speaker it is usually a war criminal and they don't want to indulge him. >> maybe she should have ann coulter go to all of the colleges to annoy. >> they would remember that though. >> she would give a great speech. unlike a lot of these people she would give a great speech. >> bill, you didn't go to college so instead you went to emerson. >> did they have speakers there or did they wheel out a puppy? >> ma mud only ma din gnaw joked. we went out drinking afterwards and he gave me his coat. there are a lot of liberal speakers, but do you lis tone what any of the speakers say?
you are right nobody remembers them. if you do remember it is little about politics and flourery rhetoric about how you are the future and give back to society, blah, blah, blah. that's why i didn't go to mine. i decided to stay in the public garden and get a tan. >> i talked to him and he said there may not be many days in iran. >> at emerson college, that's it. >> president obama spoke in bernard. >> i like to wall it bernard. >> but he is our first gay president. >> everybody knows the first gay president was james polk. i am so sick of this. >> they always say to follow your dreams. you shouldn't follow your dreams. you knead to follow the work. the only way you will get to your dreams is working your butt off. that's coming from me who took a lot of bad jobs. i would come home crying at night and over -- and often
wounded. >> they should follow the money. >> i wouldn't say follow the money. follow the work. >> yes, i would follow the money. >> and to start working for money you regret what you have done. if you follow the work which is in the area you want to be, that's more important. >> what if you follow the pretty girl home and wait outside her window? >> and hope she follows the work? from commencement to cartoons. were they tardy on the tea party? on sunday "family guy" devoted time to the anti-hat movement portraying supporters of as violent buffoons. i know, they are on top of things. in the episode peter joins the local tea party after the government gets in his way and attends run of the rallies. attends one of the rallies. roll tape. >> good afternoon, friends. is anyone else out there sick of government crap. >> oh my god. it is like he is saying
everything i am listening to. >> that's right. the government wants to tell you what foods to eat. what church you can go to. and you can't own a chimpanzee because you are not responsible enough. >> i would feed it. >> the government wants to tell you how many children you can have. >> what? no! >> and the government wants to tell you you can't throw your old tv's into the river. >> how are we supposed to find tv's? >> if you join the tea party, together we can fix all of that. but you probably don't want to join the tea party. all you get are these stupid, awesome key chains. >> the tea party ends up demolishing the government and an arcky rules and for more let's go to you our media correspondent.
terry, that was amazing. they obviously have a right to goof on the tea partiers. it doesn't make sense. three weeks ago it was not the tea partiers who tried to blowup a bridge in cleavland. it was oh occupy wall street which by the way the writer of this episode is an occupy wall streeter who was arrested in los angeles so this is incredibly los angeles. the point is they can do what they want, but they are dishonest. they are lazy. >> it makes me gaffow. i gaffow loudly. it is a funny show and i can't believe what they get away
with. they have done some stuff like this that is heavy handed conservative stuff. it doesn't offend me at all, but it is so bs. it is not even -- come on. it is not even honest. i think family guy breaks new ground. they are not like south park. south park is way better. but "family guy" can take risks. th is a nonrebelng to take a risk go after the people that watch your show. they didn't say let's make fun of old people who are peaceful. >> i agree with everything you said there. >> thank you. we will be back. >> south park is a better satire. the writer is a well-known liberal and this is outdated. but it was funny. you can make fun of the tea partiment it is outdated. at the end of the day, it made me laugh. >> the thing is occupy is not funny. it is just sad. are they going to put up a bunch of tents and make it
funny? >> the tea party is like george bush, you can make fun because it is easily lamb pooned jie. and the left goes and cow betters and cries. we think it is funny. >> tea partiers has a lot of nice people. i have been to the rallies. they are nice folks. >> bill, last words? >> the only people that are relevant are south park. the animation is so cheap. these guys get their drawings done over in korea and do that for a couple months and then whatever was current in the times is not current anymore. south koreans hate america. we have to take a break. when we come back, plenty of stuff to watch.
who do they love at white house .gov? if you go to the official white house website you can find biographies of every president. but someone in the current administration thought it wasn't enough to let fdr and truman speak for himself because what matters is president obama. a section has been added at the end of the presidential bios so reader can learn how the one has expanded on their work. for example after regan there is a bullet po nie t saying in a june 281985 speech regan called for a fair tax code. one where a multimillionaire didn't have to have a lower tangs code than his secretary. today president obama is calling for the same rule with the buffet rule.
another compares obama ending don't ask don't tell to truman ending segregation in the military. it goes on and on and on and there is nothing left to vomit and are you dry heaving over the bowl wishing you would die. let's go to our white house cory spawn department. correspondent. >> the amazing thing is no gentleman's bladder -- somebody was film filming me while i was doing that. jedediah, the administration never seems happier than when they are patting themselves on the back. >> he finds himself in everything. i feel bad for him in a way. this guy is afraid that his achievements will be so hard to find that people are going to have to go searching so he had to write them into everyone else's story. i was waiting to see pictures
of him sitting next to the founding fathering drafting the constitution. it was incredible if you read it. >> you always do that at the library. you go there while sleeping and write your names in the books like bill rules on page 43. >> i am not allowed in the library anymore. >> is that why? >> i am not even allowed in the fox news brain room anymore. what are you trying to tell me is that an incumbent president on his own website talks about his own achievements during a political season? this is unbelievable to me. thank you heritage foundation. >> that was like the family episode. >> i thought it was commentary. >> jaime, he did every president except gerald ford. i feel bad for gerald ford. >> bizarre, but he is gone now, so -- this is the
ultimate cultural personality. this is like what dictators do. the former leader built a statue of himself. i am not saying president obama is a dictator, not at all. but to be bipartisan i think if newt gingrich wasn't he would do -- wasn't he would do the same. >> here is the thing. to me it is not a big deal. it is petty. when you were in an office and you would get a gift for somebody and everybody who chips in signs the birthday card. but then somebody else signs the card who didn't chip in. >> that's wrong. >> i guess they were citing the obama care thing and that is being challenged. >> you candy leet that. >> that's the great thing about the internet. you can add things in and take it out. >> i would suggest getting a computer for that. >> and for other purposes as well.
tonight we go to andy levy. hi, andy. >> hi, greg, how are you? >> good. >> obama on "the view." greg you said the i know it from basketball thing is an excuse when you are caught in your sister's clothe ?g. >> yes. >> don't really get that. >> neither do i. what i say is it is an excuse for everything. >> i am not sure if it is an excuse for being caught in your sister's clothing, sir. >> what if my sister was a cheerleader for the basketball team. >> is she this. >> yes. was, once. 1976. >> now you just aged her. >> now we willed dit that out. we will edit that out. >> fourth grade. >> it is like hunting. if you see a word you don't like you shoot it.
>> jedediah, you brought up the point that you have to penetrate pop culture and no problem with the president going on "the view." i agree. it is fine. but don't go on a show like that and talk about substantive policy issues. don't name three avengers like you did and think he will impress me. you named three main characters. talk about whether there will be lazarus pits it when the dark thiet rises and then maybe you have impressed me. >> it is -- i felt like the stuff he knew you just had to exist. who doesn't know kim k? i hear you. >> i go to see "the avengers" and there is no patrick or diana. >> blah, blah, blah. >> do you think uma they are man and ray fines will be in it? >> are you kidding me? >> it was a tour de force.
watch it again and maybe look. enjoy the symbolism instead of ignoring it. >> did you refer to the president as osama bin laden paul pot hitler? that is not cool. >> 30 years from now, 40 years from now -- >> i think we canned dit this and make -- we can edit this and make it sound like you said that. >> and then he came back and said it again. >> don't worry, media matters will do that anyway. we that's a good point. bill, thank you for being outraged that they asked about "50 shades of gray." >> that is as close to actual outrage you will see me get. that was a little weird. >> terry you asked who hasn't decided who they are voting for yet. i think there are a bunch of people. >> why? >> i think there are a lot of people independents or moderates or whatever who don't love president obama,
but aren't sold on mitt romney yet. i think there is a decent segment that hasn't. >> i think they are i idiots. if you are cool with it, are you cool with it. if you are not, i don't know how you can be at the middle at this point. you are either on board or you ain't so get off the couch. >> don't gel -- don't yell at me. >> i am really mad. >> you are not even on the couch. >> you are not going to vote, andy? >> no, i don't vote for president. >> is that some disinterested artist thing? >> no. i don't need to get into this. i am opposed to the electoral college. >> it is not until a cat can run for president. >> that makes perfect sense. >> i am waiting for our first female president. >> maybe it will be kitty carlisle. >> i had hope that it could be president obama. i think it still could be. >> also you said obama should
be watching justified and not the kardashians. again, basketball. greg, you said carl marx would be speaking at ithaca college's commencement. actually it is the head of the thanksgiving day parade. >> they do so and carl marx action figures at macy's. >> i think i have a car at the parade. >> the question is whether he or she is entertaining. you are not sitting there unsure about obama care and then you hear a commencement speech and you are for it. >> i agree. steve jobs is the nonpolitical one. i say get a comedian in there and entertain. >> basically you are trying to figure out how you can get your classic out -- your flask
out. >> jedediah, this is symbolic of how left wing academia is. the make up of the faculty is the commence -- commencement. >> policy, -- gite problem is they would try to kill her with stones. >> she can take care of herself. >> terry, president obama spoke and don't listen to greg. >> terry, again, i agree with you. this stuff doesn't offend me, but are you right. the show is sometimes way too heavy handed. we did a story in 2008. stewey and goes back to nazi germany. >> we get it. >> you think occupy is not
funny? >> i don't think it is funny because -- i think it is good when you can make a joke about people and they can laugh at themselves. >> that is never going to happen. >> no. >> come on. you have drum circles and mic checks. >> yes, but there are some serious violent and serious stuff going on. >> there is plenty to make fun of. >> i guess. >> greg, were you saying something? >> i was going to say that they don't find it funny. that's why obama is rarely made fun of on "saturday night live" and that's why sincere effort is not laughed at because they take it seriously. >> and they can't laugh at themselves. obama added himself to president bios at white house .gov. jedediah, you feel bad for president obama, and i understand what you meant. but there is something hilarious about this. greg said it is so petty that you have to laugh at it.
>> yes, it is. i found myself laughing if you follow through twitter and people were just putting him in historical places. it was a great moment for conservatives. and if he had the ability to laugh at himself he would be laughing too. >> bill you referred to white house .gov as their own website. >> he is the people's president. >> and it was commentary where he wrote this article. he discovered it after somebody at heritage tweeted that regan won. >> so we can agree to both? >> you were right, greg. >> heritage got the ball rolling. >> i am done. >> thanks a lot. coming up, should liberals be redrawn as dog food? jedediah be law -- jedediah
a terror group released a training guide for would be western recruits which offers helpful advice like, quote, if you feel terrified, close your eyes and imagine yourself inside paradise. entering its magnificent gates. imagine glancing at your beautiful palace. think of your virgins that are awaiting you. i didn't know what that word meant. it, woulded for me. the manual written in english by a u.s.-raised propaganda who is now dead suggests new members condition themselves for terror camps in yemen and elsewhere by going a week without electronics and talking above a low voice or leaving the apartment. basically you act like andy
levy. a joke i wrote before i havered the pre game report which he used himself. let's discuss -- >> lightning rooooouuunnnnnnddt. lightning round. jay terry, you are as close -- >> terry you are as close to an expert as we get around here. the guy recommends some recruits stay home and attack america in its own backyard. how concerned should we be? will this never end? will they be able to convince people in america that there are 72 virgins waiting for them? >> after all of this, despite having to fight our own people in our society, i am taking the fight to the bad guys. we will always kick their ass. i am trying to figure out how a way to kill you while you are thinking about sex with vier jins. if you are attacking me the last thing i am thinking about is getting laid. >> hospital america --
shouldn't america start a propaganda saying death virgins are a lie. they need to be shaken. >> mott stirred. >> sign me up to the organization you are beginning, but i imagine that they would probably listen to some of the radical claire ricks as opposed to -- radical clerics as opposed to you. >> i am a pretty nice guy. >> i am a good listener. we can play a little ping-pong. he was killed last year should they take advice from some guy como died? >> really though who will appeal? i feel like as the resident feminist i need to be outraged by this, so i will bring the outrage forth now about the virgin stuff, not cool. definitely not cool. >> here, here. >> not in the way he thinks it is not cool. but it is disgusting that someone within the united
states would be brainwashed and manipulated and gullible enough to buy into this, and then turn on us. but it happens. this is a reality we have to face. >> in fairness it should be noted that -- we did a great job of assimilating muslims in america. you become american by subscribing. jew very good dash >> very good point. being a virgin does it matter to you that they are thinking of you? >> i will say that these guys don't know anything about anything. particularly when it comes to well. who in their right mind would ever want to have sex with a virgin? it is like saying, i love hamburgers. you there, can you make me a hamburger? virgins, not fun. people who are not virgins, better.
>> there you go. i guess that is a psa for people who are harlets. >> i support you, tramps. next topic, this week chef mario is eating on the equivalent of a food stamp budget. about $150 a -- about $1.50 a meal. quote, we hopefully are being likeup peas saying this is how you can do it and look, you can grind your own oats. terry, does it make you want to slap them around this. >> i pay attention with the basketball. >> this is proving our point which most of us agree that if you wait for government to feed you, you will starve. if you are on food stamps you need them and you are trying to get a job and work. they are just doing the food stamps.
if he went and got a job he would do better. >> that's a good point. >> wouldn't it be better for him to donate some food? >> yes. and you have to be the creative genius in that. i had a really great point but i forgot. >> how does it help people on food stamps? >> it doesn't. if he wanted to help people who are poor it is to do what he does well. it would help people get out of poverty which i would suggest. he kind of knocks tomato with pasta sauce. >> bill, you eat on $.25 cents a day. is this a challenge? >> i eat actual stamps. >> terrible. you can't even lick them. that's terrible. >> all i know about mario vitale is he was qlos friends -- close friends with
so i learned something called calendars.com not only sells calendars, but offers video reviews of said calendars. the good people at street carnage.com assembled some of the highlights. roll tape, roll tapers. >> i wanted to show you the bad kittens calendar for 2012. basically this is every month you will get a cute picture of cats misbehaving along with motivational quote or saying. this is always a top seller. it is a very popular calendar. it has 12 months of hot buns, if you will. you can take a peek. it is for the cat lover in your family. cats doing yoga poses.
i don't know yoga poses, i'm sorry. still a calendar. and this is a picture for dates and personal appointments and a nice sized grid and plenty of space for your dates and appointments. plenty of space for your dates and appointments at the bottom. simple, plenty of space for your dates. always a best seller. you can get it today at calendars.com. >> one of the greatest things ever is he is describing to you how a calendar works. there is a handy grid. then we blur the butts and not the kittens which i am disgusted by. bill? >> you know -- >> are you just not here tonight? >> you know what would be really meta is if calendar guy reviewed calendar guy reviewing calendars. >> this is robert with calendars.com. today i want to show you the 2012 calendars review
calendar. this calendar is awesome. you get 12 months of calendars being reviewed. this month is the big bang theory. december 1 boys bears. march is true blood. you see, each month has full color image of a calendar being reviewed and a nice big grid. you can get seafood and july. who can forget hot buns in august? >> who could? >> obviously what is next is a calendar of various screen graphs of him being reviewed on "red eye." >> or a calendar made of real people. >> no. a flexy calendar. >> actual flesh. >> that would be nice. anyway. nothing else to add. >> i have a lot to add. do you have an hour? >> okay. this is going no where.
>> you wrote a segment about hot buns and then say there is nothing else to add. that is a big disappointment. >> i was disuh ponted they were smudged. >> we all have buns. and everybody saw these kitties behaving badly. >> not blurring the kittens is sending a wrong message. >> it is not okay to swat, kids. >> leave the mice alone. >> we will close things out with a post game wrap up from tv's andy levy. he has 75 of the cat calendars. to see clips of recent shows fox news.com/red eye.
levy for the post game wrap up. >> jedediah, when will you be on fox nen? >> have i a special "hannity" show you don't want to miss. >> what is so special? >> you have to watch. >> in advance, congratulations. you will be great together. >> such a troublemaker. >> rut worst. >> worst person ever. >> how does one know the morning has begun? >> wow. that's a profound question. >> you told me to ask it. >> if i had to ask it on the spot it doesn't begin until you read the dc morning. >> what charity are you working with? >> happy mother's day two days late. i talked to her on sunday, but i am on tv, mom. happy. go to horses for heros founded by an exgreen beret buddy. they help a lot of guys out. horses for heros .org. >> i started started a charity called h
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