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tv   Red Eye  FOX News  May 31, 2012 12:00am-1:00am PDT

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we're tough. thank you for watching. see you here tomor welcome to "red eye." i'm andy levy filling in for greg gutfeld who is on a beach complaining. let's go to the current president of diligence, mike baker for our pre game report. diligence, when they absolutely, positively have to be dead overnight. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> thank you, andy. you may not believe in astrology. but if several uh stroll gists get together and they agree that the stars are lining up for obama in november, is there any need to get out and vote? no. and now that mitt romney has captured the republican nomination, does he have plans for a follow-up act? finally, if you could vote and you can wear a military uniform at 18, what is up with the 21 year drinking age? we will try to find someone on the show mature enough to talk
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about this. all of that and charts, but not too many charts coming up on the big show. >> what do you mean not too many charts? >> news corporation talked to me about this. >> is that right? >> let's welcome our guest. she is so cute punctuationy -- punky brewster wears a jedediah bila t-shirt. and "maxim" magazine's editor-in-chief. and bill schulz who thinks he is in got them city rising up against baine. and look it is anthony cumea, co-host of the "opi expe anthony -- and an thon nay show." >> today in science the jennette tau cysts sequenced the genome in the hope of breeding better specimens and found that it is 30,000 genes
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versus 30,000 in a human being. which begs the question, who cares? and furthermore, why do we do this story to begin with? never mind. >> everything you say begs the question, who cares? i'm talking to both of you. >> making fun of an inadd met -- an inadd do met object. why go through the paces? mitt romney may have officially clinched the gop nomination. apparently the election is already over. according to a volume gist, the skies predict an obama reprize. five star stargazers assess the opponent and say barak will be back. for you know nothings, that's when the sun enters the sign of air reece. that clinches the decision. she says, quote, it is obvious obama stays where it is without a change in status. you know who is not staying where he is?
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no uh stroll gist predicted that. anthony, welcome to the show. >> hi, sir. >> should romney just abandon his campaign? it is over, right? >> yes, i guess so. it is a great surprise that liberal space cadets would think obama would put this one away. i have my own chart to look at. my dollar is in retro grade, and the moon is in the seventh house along with its mortgage that is on the water. >> your chart says romney? >> my chart says romney. >> you need to get to the convention and straighten it out. >> jedediah, are you a woman and probably believe in astrology. >> sometimes i plan my life around it. when there are conflicting messages, that's not good for my karma. >> but these people agree.
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>> that's true. and in 2008 they held one of these and they said obama would win. obviously they must be right. is there anything romney can do to change this? >> i don't know. maybe he can schmooz uh astrologers. obama might win. let's face it. that's a reality that might happen. >> we will need you to leave the set. >> escort me out. >> like it is not bad enough that the media is in the tank for obama, but now the astrologers are too? >> it is unbelievable. but i only believe in ancient religions like sigh yen toll gee that says i will be president. >> really? >> in your dreams. >> and they are correct. >> it is getting hot in here, boys. >> bill, your hour row scope predicts your death usually in a ditch pretty much daily. how have you managed to persevere and can you please
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stop? >> you are so being a leo right now. look at that. look at yourself. >> you know who else is being a leo right now? you. >> we both are mr. shared birthdays. i would say this makes me sad. i want obama to win, and these freak shows are saying he is going to and the reverse will probably happen. as my old uncle joe used to say, you can't spell astrologer without an as. romney has a new iphone app. can we put up the screen? they misspelled america they have now corrected it with an update. on a scale of one to awesome how great is this? >> amazingly awesome. i am surprised anybody saw it though. i thought this was probably one download under boiling
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water simulator. >> you get different waters. >> and you can simmer. >> it is only $1.99. >> not bad. >> look at what that app is saying. that's the pref physician. p re fice. >> a better america is americia. >> i don't know how to say it. >> amercia sounds like a town in middle earth. >> or something you would say if are you balding you put amercia on there. >> it is all part of the mormon agenda. he reversed the letters and next he will reverse the polygamy laws. it will happen. >> i don't think they believe in that anymore. they like black people now too. >> do you ever wonder how that stuff happens? how many looked at that and didn't notice that america was spelled wrong? >> anyone who works in tv where you have the magazines
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you know typos happen and misspellings happen. but maybe get the name of the country you want to lead. >> maybe he doesn't want to lead america. >> it is americia. >> it could be that he knows obama is going to win the presidency of america thanks to the astrologers. so he will be president. >> or maybe this is his version of hope and change. change the name, bring some hope. could be. >> i have one more question for you, jedediah. romney clinch eds the gop -- clinched the gop nomination on tuesday. will i get an gray letter prz ron paul -- angry letters from ron paul supporters? >> have i been sending newt gingrich checks for the past two months. >> you could use them so don't stop. >> it does seem like years ago we were rallying around the lunch. >> who?
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>> it seemed to be some guy who was running for the republican candidacy. >> it is written right there. >> hopefully mike baker will be able to spell it. from astrology to adulthood. how should we gauge when kids come to age? many graduating high school seniors have been driving since they were 16 and those who turned 18 are no longer considered minors meaning they can vote when they are in the military. so the website asks, is it time to rethink the age of adulthood? do the age requirements need to be lowered or raised this shouldn't they beacon sis assistant 1234* one neuro surgeon weighs in as they often do noting that different brain regions mature at different paces. those involved in self-regulation developing into young adulthood. and anyway the writer observes
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that they are drawn for political reasons and not sign isk it ones. isn't that right gold loving toddler? >> i hope he never grows old. i don't mean that in a bad way. >> i hope he lives a long, healthy life is what i meant. >> jedediah, should we rethink the age of adulthood or realize why we set different ages for different things? >> i would say yes, but i feel like the whole thing is subjective. what defines adulthood for me? that may be different for you. it is very personal.
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one person's growth is different from another. i feel all the time like some guy behind the desk picks the ages for different things. i don't know how you would make that even. how would you make that make sense for everyone? >> it is a good question. the dutch in finland allows to let children drink when they are 18. and drive when they are 19. isn't driving a bigger responsibility than drinking? >> yes. and a person should be declared an adult when they grow back hair. for me that was at age nine. >> what if you never grow back hair? >> then you are never a man. >> this is actually true. when he was in utero his mom was bitten by a monkey. something to be said right there.
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and he has a tail. >> you said we should lower the drinking age to 16, but raise the voting age to 35. >> i think people are a little maury responsible -- more responsible. >> you always use that -- everybody uses that whole thing, you can go to war, but you can't drink until they get to 21. you can go to war at 18. >> i have never heard that. >> my either. i just made it up. do you like that? >> you should tweet it. >> i think there are people mature at 18 and people who are dopes at 18. it is hard to legislate. it is so subjective. scrap everything and make it 16 and everything goes. >> you mean everything? i like it. >> including voting? >> voting too. i don't even care. >> it is true. voting is a sham. >> hi, i am chris hanson. is that zima you have?
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>> cases of mike's hard lemonade. bill, you are 36 and basically still a child. >> that's not a question. coming up, everybody's brain develops different times and in different i whats. if that's the case why don't we have cognitive tests developed by experts in that field that will determine whether an individual is rational enough to drive, to drink, to watch basic instinct. why can't it be different for every single person? you know why because everything sucks. i am old and pessimist. >> and also because you would cheat on all of the tests. >> i am not smart enough to cheat, madam. >> you cheated off me once. >> wouldn't all of these tests in bill's fantasy land, wouldn't they be run by liberals and psychiatrists. >> they are run by the same guy bees hind the desks. >> do you know what the cost
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of an adult license would be? >> none of us would have one. >> i'm sorry i heard you say that, that, that. >> anthony in most states you have to be 18 to buy a long gun and 21 to be a handgun. is that fair? >> no, i remember my dad -- my dear old dad buying me a pistol at 13. it was on my 13th birthday. then he smacked me in the head and said be a man. maybe all of that doesn't work. >> it is like an italian bar mitzvah. >> what a lovely coming of age party where you didn't shoot the hook -- hooker. >> it is weird. you said you could join the military and fire more powerful things at 18 but can't buy a handgun until are you 21 jie. there are so main of those dumb rules. it is arbitrary. people are just making them up willy nilly. >> when did you consider
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yourself an adult, if ever? >> when i was nine and just sprouted in every direction. the kids in the locker room all ran screaming. >> you have kids or several kids. >> two. >> i honestly feel like you don't actually become an adult until you have kids which is fine with me. i am happy not being an adult. it is one of the reasons i don't want to have kids. is there something there? isn't that when you become a responsible adult when you have kids? >> there is this weird thing that happens and you think i would murder somebody if they would touch this thing of mine. >> are you talking about your kids? >> yes. i call them the thing. but i stand by that. i am not going to make a joke. >> no, it was a fairly serious question. >> it does seem odd. i talked to a lot of people
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who had kids, and it is like they slept next to the pod in "invasion of the body snatchers" of the before they have a kid they are drinking and having fun and they have the kid and it is like, my life is for you, everything for you. and i just can't understand that. >> it sounds awful. >> you will never understand the joy of parent hood. as the only other adult at this table i would say laquifa, it is very late, go to bed. we are moving on. from coming of age to the oldest discretion. a former pimp is making the move to legalize prostitution arguing that neither law enforcement nor legislature can dictate the social morrays. he notes in a new york daily news op ed that there are prostitutes and johns in ancient athens. it is legalized, recognized and regular giew lated. prostitution can save marriages pointing to a report
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that 10% of married men in their 40s reported no sex in the past year. the self-proclaimed king of all pimps finds it ironic that it is legal and the stars make a nice salary to boot. thinking of things that should stay in the shadows. >> should prostitution be legalized? >> i like the point he brought up in ancient times. i watched "game of throwns" and the prostitution was great, but everything else sucked. everything else looked like it hurts. prostitution legalized and take the pimp slap out and i don't see it as a crime with victims in it. i think it is a business, and if a girl wants to do that with her body, so be it.
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>> he says the only reason prostitution exploits women is because it is illegal. if it is regulated it would be better. is that a fair point? >> i think it is a fair point. it might be safer safer and more regulated. we see that with pornography where you have to get the std tests. i would find myself struggling with these issues. i am a strong advocate of personal responsibility and people making their own choices. if you are an adult and this is something you want to do and it is really a business, then i don't have a problem with it. i am not going to take part in it, but i am not going to strip clubs and gamble my way to being broke. those things are legal. there is a subjectivity here too that bothers me. >> i agree. dan, they predict they will legalize prostitution by 2020 do you think that is correct? >> yes. and i love the theory that it can save marriages. >> that part i don't agree with. >> honey, i love you so much. i am going to get a whore.
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>> dan, i want you to shut the cameras and the audio off. dan, seriously, can it save marriages? put them back on again. welcome back. bill, anything to add? >> i like the fact that the whole time i am reading this it is like, for a former pimp this is a cogent, well thought out argument with lots of good facts. then i noticed it was co written by his lawyer. and then i realized this is a very cogent thing written by a lawyer. that was nothing that guy said. >> are you probably right about that. >> how many times can you say cogent? >> it is a fun thing to say. do i really know what it means? it is time to take a break. what do rain drops on roses and bright copper kettles and
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warm mittens and brown paper packages tied up in strings have in common? anthony discussing his latest book "these are a few of my favorite things." but first, what did david letterman claim he was guilty of? not doing the top 10 list.
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he says it is only because that is the comedy hand he was health. dealt. here is the gap toothed host talking with regis philbin. >> i think a case could be made that we are leaning one side to the other. but it is not driven out of anything more serious than it was easier to make fun of. >> it is all about getting the laughs. >> you are desperate when you
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are out there and you want to get a laugh. when you hear the first laugh you can relax a little bit. >> the name of the program two old dudes complaining about stuff. for more let's go to "red eye"'s senior media correspondent. >> oh my god. >> all right, now let's talk about the prostitutes. >> jedediah, are you buying what dave is selling? >> i am not buying it. i have two words for him joe biden. joe biden is not easily made fun of, i don't know who is. there is no way joe biden is not funny. sarah palin is. >> he always says you go where the material is. the joke he made about willow
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palin he thought it was bristol, but they were at a baseball game minding their own business and he made the joke. >> it is not funny. if he says she nonpartisan he kneads to do something else. >> i don't really care if dave makes fun of republicans more than democrats. it is his show and he should do what he wants. what bothers me when he or "saturday night live" claim there is nothing funny about obama. the truth is it is that their hearts aren't in it. >> their hearts aren't in it. they might make a joke or two, especially dave. he is talking about making jokes, but they are very soft. none is with the venom that george w. bush got. that was some real vindictive stuff. this is very playful. they never really delve into the heart issues. >> they are laughing with bob dylan. >> where is the good stuff? >> i agree. and letterman brings up clinton and the lewinski
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scandal. he says, we will go where there is material. clinton was like this lovable scam p. -- scamp. >> i don't know man. i disagree with you all. you are all idiots and i am leaving of the obama is just kind of boring. what are you going to do? he eats fish. one time he put mus st ard on his -- mustard on his hamburger. i don't know. i don't know what you would even -- he has big ears. >> he does have big ears. >> biden is certainly funny. 1k3* obama has made a lot of gasps, but if you wanted to go out there -- >> it may not have been super funny material, but if you are going to poke fun with the willow palin campbel you don't have to be super funny. you can point out. he was talking about 57 states. you can make a joke out of
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that. there is a way to find a joke in there. >> i think a difference with george w. bush is the whole thing of everybody saying this is a guy you would want to have a beer with. you make fun of people you are comfortable with. it is like a buddy, buddy thing. you give a zing now and then. >> i don't think there was anything buddy, buddy about it. >> and cheney did get disassembled by the media and biden isn't getting anything. >> bill, last word to you. >> you know the word smart, sober pragnatist could describe obama. there is one big difference. there is an empty vessel where his soul should be. as a result that leads to very bad -- it is very awkward moments, weird comments and that's funnier. on the surface it is funnier. while clinton was a scam p anthony wiener was portrayed as he was.
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>> do you have a comment on the show? hopefully a bad one about bill. e-mail us, and to leave a voicemail call 212-462-5050. still to come, the half time report from mike baker. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by the large american sea lion mammals that resemble lions.
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let's find out if we have got anything wrong so far. let's go to mike baker. >> i sound like a super hero. >> we are behind schedule. people will be fascinated. this retracts the response of various listen groups. you will see that in the a block the democrats have started to shoot up. the republicans started to shoot down. you can see they don't move at all. we will skip that. the wanker gap numbers, the variance is what we are looking at. it equals 2xy minus the symbol that goes up.
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you can see the gap is widening. the sprockets look good. and of course this is my twitter. jedediah? >> yes. >> andy was pointing out as he was starting to ask you a question, are you a woman. you believe in astrology. you noy what, he is right. according to a recent study, 75% of astrology readers are women. >> that doesn't surprise me. as i am in the nail salons and the beauty parlors as my tbrapped ma used to -- grandma used to say i see a lot of people reading that. and my mom calls me and says this is what is happening to you. >> when you are at the nail salon do you bump into bill? >> all the time. but he is in the pedicure area. >> it is called being a pices. it has nothing to do with my masculinity. >> you are not a pices. >> i am an aquarius. >> i am an aquarius too. >> i am a sheep.
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>> do you have a handgun that i can shoot myself with? you know what, another part of the study shows a third of americans -- this will make you puke, a third of americans believe in astrology. >> my favorite part of the original is astrology, not to be confused with astronomy. >> it is true. they are entirely separate things. >> so i have heard. >> anthony, welcome to the show. >> thank you, sir. >> you are welcome. you says your chart says romney. what do you think his chances are of pulling it out in november? >> i think they are pretty good. people will come out to vote against obama and i don't think as many will vote for obama. you have a lot of people that wanted to see a lot of firsts happen. and i don't think they will come out.
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>> dan? >> yes. >> do you put they credibility this this whole gathering of the uh stroll gists? >> yes, i do. before i came here they said you would be wearing a brown tie and they were right. >> does your magazine "maxine" have an astrology section? >> "maxine" does, but" max i'm" it does not. >> that's the name of your journal. >> i was doing a day old joke which obviously doesn't work on television. bill, does your uncle joe often wear a clown costumes? or is there anything you want to talk about? >> my uncle joe says only in america. that's why he was voting for romney. >> you know, you made -- now that bill has gotten us into the next story about misspellings and apps and all of that stuff, and by the way,
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you asked a question, how does this happen? >> it is a very good question. i did some research while you were talking. there is no explanation as to how it happened so we are moving on to the next story. and by the way, romney hit the magical number of delegates he needed for getting the republican nomination. anybody care to tell me how many delegates that is? >> 1140? >> it is 1,144. >> that's right. >> what do i win? >> you win another guest appearance on "red eye." >> anthony, i am going to read you a quote and you tell us who said this. >> tonight after millions of dollars spent and after years of support against one of the weakest fields in history, mitt romney has finally
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secured enough delegates to become the republican's presidential nominee. who do you think said that? >> and -- >> the answer is no. >> mike, i know. >> you said that like the second part of your answer would be yes. >> who is it? >> washer man schulz. >> the fact of the matter is -- the fact of the matter is you know who could have written that anybody else that was written. >> that is actually a degree of venom in the quotes that i don't think would be replicated against anybody. >> you don't need gingrich's block. >> she is a lovely woman and i won't have you talk badly. >> i don't think anybody at the table would stull -- would stump. >> by the way [inaudible] for
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those who are wonder whog he was talking about, vern was a presidential candidate. he was born and raised in a small farm town in texas. his father was a qar -- carpenter and his mother was a teacher. >> at least it was in this country. joy that takes us to a whole different set of topics. let's talk maturity shall we? okay let's talk about that. >> you talk about maturity. bill -- watch it. i'll go back to the charts. you said people develop at different times in different ways. are you willing to stand by that bold statement? >> i am legally not allowed to stand near any statements. >> at what point do you expect to start developing? >> i feel like versions of that cut against me were made with every person on this table. at this point it is a regurgitated cut. >> are you willing to show us your backyard at this point?
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>> no, he is not. >> i have 90 seconds. >> i will give you a little taste of this. >> party doesn't stop here, people. >> there you go. the national minimum drinking act was passed in what year? >> 1984ment -- 1984. >> well done you. >> and it was set by congress to put the drinking age at 21. anthony, binge drinking is described in most legal volumes as consuming how many or more drinks in one sitting? >> i would think probably 15. >> i think it is 5. >> the answer is five. >> you said you don't become an adult until you have kids. >> i offered that as a
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theory. >> you have to set a benchmark someplace and that is not a bad one. i remember my dad told me when i was heading to my old job in the out outfit we were talking about when do you grow up? a boy becomes a man when man is needed. >> have kids or join the military. >> just kill something. >> at least kill something. >> bill, can you spell cogent? >> k-l-m-vowel. >> all right. we are going skip prostitution. that will take us all night to talk about. and dan is finishing up on letterman. do you really believe comics made so much fun of george bush because they want to be his pal? >> comics were crying their
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eyes out when sarah palin did not get the nomination. >> i appreciate the way you redirected the thing. >> that's very good. that's it. i'm done. >> thanks, mike. see you at the end of the show. >> should cannibalism be legalized? jedediah bila discusses her new book. but first, how much did mark zuckerberg tip at a restaurant in rome? i am guessing a lot or nothing. probably wouldn't be doing the story otherwise.
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should he get slack for eating a big mac? mark zuckerburg and his new bride were spotted eating mcdonalds. it reported that they chowed down in rome. they dined at a fast-food joint and they neglected to
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leave a tip. restaurant staff say they were surprised not only because of the facebook founded insane wealth because they are accustomed to general toc tips from -- generous tips from american tourists. >> lightning roooouuunnd. lightning round. >> is it done yet? dan, anybody who has ever waited tables in america knows europeans don't tip. i say good for zuckerberg forgetting pay back. >> i bet that waiter didn't -- like -- that. >> i don't understand. >> he didn't like it. he was mad. >> jedediah, what is the point of eating mcdonalds in rome? don't they have an olive garden. >> as an italian american i am disgusted. when you go to rome you gain
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30 pounds because you have eaten 30 pounds of pasta. this guy went there and ate mcdonalds? mcdonalds? no i'm serious. mcdonalds is not cool. >> that is a spicy meatball. >> that's right. >> anthony when you are as rich as zuckerberg, do you just not care if people think you are a cheapskate? >> i care very much so. they are not reporting the whole story. he tipped 25%, but it disappeared three days later. >> nice, very nice. >> do you think zuckerburg was eating on the cheap to show investors that he feels their pain? >> how would he think that would impress them? >> it is a question to stimulant conversation. i don't believe it. >> i honestly believe he doesn't know tipping because he is unable to read human emotion. >> you might be right.
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>> next topic. i think more fun. dead reports that the former red sox manager and the espn manager september a shirtless picture of himself to a 27-year-old woman. the totally awesome pics show a 53-year-old poolside. the woman's boyfriend found it while he was apparently raiding her e-mail. always a good sign in a relationship. later he discovered she exchanged a bunch of texts with francona and she e-mailed this pic to him before he sent her his. anthony, francona is single and he didn't do anything wrong here. jay this is fantastic -- >> this is fantastic. i would be throwing stones. >> usually the towel is a lot smaller. >> jed do jedediah, isn't it disgusting that a guy in his
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50s would be flirting with a girl that young? >> no. i only date older men. i just didn't find the picture scandalous. in this case it is tolerable. everyone else it is cool. >> what do you think of the dead spin? maybe keep it private? >> i am not sure. i want to be as humiliated as possible as quickly as possible. that seems to be the only thing that could have been going through his brain. i thought he looked great. i would like to see more quite frankly. >> something has to be going on in order to make you do that. >> there are so many clues laying around everywhere. >> why is there all of this red sox stuff. >> why is espn always on?
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bill actually i give the boyfriend credit for being honest about the fact that he discovered his girlfriend september a picture to francona first. >> that's the greatest thing. anyone who has not gone on to dead spin this is the prototypical dead span story. he goes through the whole arc of emotions. oh celebrity athlete sex. you read a little more and it is like, that's interesting. by the end you are like, well. women. >> that was very cogent. it is time to take a break and see what cogent means. more stuff is on the way. stick around.
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there are some popular excuse these hear when they are dumped. the top five reasons men get dismissed are, there is someone else. our dietary habits differ, your name is bill schulz of the the top five for why women get the boot are, i am not ready for relationship, bad hygiene, i don't feel like i am a priority, too much
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fighting and your name is bill schulz. anthony, highway is it possible the number two women women -- the number two reason women dump men is dietary reasons? >> i'm sorry. if you are into that, that is worse. >> the number two reason overall? >> try going out to dinner with one. >> and then you try to do them a favor and look on the menu. >> i know. >> trying to help. >> jedediah, i totally get that women would dump men for being too short. why would anybody want to be with a short guy? >> and i thought greg would be here. >> have i the list here and lack of puncture walt. >> i understand that. if you were supposed to be there and the other person is late it makes you look bad.
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i get request that would uh now people. >> you missed reading them because there was no punctuation. >> my wife is yelling at me, we have to go. >> i get that. you do that all the time. but it seems like a lot of reasons for dumping should have been reasons no the to go out in the first place. bad hygiene? why are you going out with someone with bad hygiene. >> they kept stabbing me. >> bad hygiene could be good during sex. >> you kids at home, don't pay attention to what he just said. >> pay attention and call me. >> i wanted to get to you
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before we go. most women list tired of finding you sleeping in your soiled clothes in a dumpster as their reason for dumping you. pleas answer the question. >> -- please answer the question. >> number three. if you are going to insult me, it has to go in three's. >> i will go exactly to the one that stuck out. it is like, bad hygiene for dumping a woman. what woman do you know who has bad hygiene? >> the only thing i can think of is it is code for something. i am not sure what, but something. >> bad breath? >> that could be -- was that part of it? >> it could be worse. >> we will talk more about this during the break of the and then we will close things out with mike baker. and to see clips of recent shows go to fox eye.
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coming up tomorrow on the next "red eye" return appearances from sexy rick eleven ven that will and the comedian greg troupes.
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>> mike baker with the post game wrap up. >> jedediah? >> yes. what fox shows are you on? >> i have hannity. >> any matters coming up? -- any parties coming up? >> i am still cleaning twizzlers and stridex out of the skimmers. more parties though. can you tell us about the latest "maxim" cover. >> yes, of course. you get two for one. it is the hot 100 on stands now. it might burn you. enjoy it. >> anybody we know in there? >> no. >> everyone you ever loved is in there. >> andy, that's it. >> thanks, mike. appreciate it as always. a special thanks to jedediah


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