Skip to main content

tv   Red Eye  FOX News  April 13, 2013 11:00pm-12:00am PDT

11:00 pm
from constantcontact. it's the fastest, easiest way to create great-looking custom e-mails that bring customers through your door. sign up for your free trial today .. welcome to "red eye." it's like "curb your enthusiasm" if my enthusiasm you mean coating, andy, what's coming up on tonight's show. >> thanks, greg. our top story tonight why is jodi arias tweeting while she's on trial for the teleprompter not moving while i'm talking? there we go. because that's what we do now. plus washington's state's attorney general sues a flower shop owner for refusing to sell flowers for a gay wedding. and finally, what happens when we send bill shuchultz outo
11:01 pm
check out wrestlemania. hopefully wrestlers gang up on him. a death valley driver, eight choke slams, a cross face chicken wing, six texas kroefr leafs, two cross arm breakers, a tongue and death grip and finally a scorpion death lock leaving him so broken and mangled he doesn't have the strength to cry even though he's about to find out that for him the pain is just beginning. greg. >> thanks, andy. >> you betcha. >> all right. i'll see you later. let's welcome our guests. she's so cute that butterflies get dana tattoos on their lower back. i'm here with dana, former white house press secretary, hip-hop artist and one of my thousands of co-hosts. and if wittiness were the wall street journal, i'd wait for him to come on my doorstep. bernie mcderr. and in lake placid, he's a
11:02 pm
bobsled. it's my psychic bill schultz. and if fearless commentary were a giant wave, i'd ride him with my surfing buddies. tucker carlton, editor in chief of the daily caller. >> daily blog. the lede. that's the first story. who the hell is this guy? >> your boss, jerk. okay, she's flinging barbs from behind bars. now she'll knife you with a 140-word character. i screwed that up. jodi arias is on trial for allegedly murdering her boyfriend but that hasn't stopped her from tweeting. yes, she's been using a friend taunting the press and prosecutors. the accused killer is clearly not a fan of headline news coverage writing hln is an acronym for haters love negativity. after nancy grace tweeted a picture of arias suggesting she was flipping the bird, arias
11:03 pm
responded, actually, nancy, that finger was for you. have a nice day. the killer also isn't afraid to go after opponents in a court. in a now deleted tweet about a prosecutor that happens to be short, she wrote those afflicted for little man's syndrome happen per serpgs of genuinely good men who happen to be vertically challenged. god bless five-day weekends. her pal who does the posting of the tweets explains how it works. >> she'll call and say i have a quote or we'll talk about it. she'll say let's tweet it. sometimes she'll say let's tweet and we'll take it -- she'll say, no, let's don't do it. >> what a fascinating behind-the-scenes look from a strange friend. incidentally i have a ghost writer as well for most of my tweets. i believe we have tape of him.
11:04 pm
what the hell is that? i don't know what it is. keep it out of your shorts. dana, she's on trial for murder and she's snarking at prosecutors, but at least she's not tweeting pictures of her dog. >> if it was that dog it would be great. so she's making a mockery of justice and now she's become our hero. she might be the most brilliant person on the planet. >> it's amazing. i don't understand this, tucker. how is this legal? >> i don't know if it is, but twitter is the perfect medium for jodi arias. i mean she tweets. the question is what is it about nancy grace that sends accused murderers into a tweeting frenzy. not only her, amanda knox. why are they watching nancy
11:05 pm
grace? if you were on trial you would not be torturing yourself with nancy grace, would you? >> i don't know. she's kind of strange. >> she's hosting the hln coverage. my wife, for example, watches this trial like a monkey stares at a clock. millions of other people, you can't drag them away from it. it seems like this trial has been on tv longer than the amazing race. i guess you could call it "the amazing case." anybody who gives the finger to nancy grace, my enemy is my friend. nancy grace should be on trial for attempting to kill men's desire for women. however, i would say this. what if adam lanza didn't get killed, he's in jail and he's out tweeting bad things about the families of the kids he killed. he wouldn't put up for it so it's probably not a good thing. >> the fact is this opens the door for people like charles manson because you're allowing twitter accounts by proxy. people have designated twitters. so somebody tried to smuggle a
11:06 pm
cell phone into charles manson a couple weeks ago, he would probably start saying i want to tweet my daily meals and stuff like that and all of a sudden they'll have followers because people are sick and stupid, speaking of. bill, if you tweet her, perhaps she will take a liking to you and you will start dating and then she will murder you too and then we can finally get rid of you. >> i think she should follow me. she has excellent taste. donald trump, anderson cooper, dr. phil. these are all people she follows. i think you find out when you hack your boyfriend to death, claim it was self defense and that you blacked out most of it, go to jail, start lampooning everyone, that's when you know who your real friends are. your real friends come to jail, have horrific tweets to retweet. this is the one she did for the prosecutor, the little man one. she goes, hmm, anger management problems anyone? that was workshoped. that was planned.
11:07 pm
they sat in a room together and after hours that's what they turned out. >> it's amazing because the jury isn't allowed to watch coverage of it, but she's allowed to tweet about it. that's bizarre. >> she's also allowed to attack this guy. she already murdered him, she cut him to death and now she's airing their sex life to everyone and attacking him. >> she is an awful person. >> she really is. >> this trial is a disgrace. she's a stone cold psycho killer. what is the issue here? unlike my wife, i'm not following it day to day but i don't understand. clearly guilty, what the hell. >> the other thing that bugs me, she's selling her artwork which is allowing her to capitalize on her notoriety. no one would buy her artwork if she wasn't a murderer and this is the thing you see again and again, whether it's bundy or john wayne gacy. celebrities buy this crap because it makes them seem cool. she made three grand i guess off one painting alone, dana. >> what? i spent more than that before
11:08 pm
she killed that guy. >> really? >> i spent 20,000 of a bunch of flowers on a piece of paper. >> really? >> it's not even an investment. >> you should try to sell it on ebay. >> if i had a dollar for every time somebody said that to me and i said no -- >> like your glasses, if you try to sell those glasses on ebay. >> why would i do such a thing? >> charity. >> you want these glasses, america, you can -- no, you're not getting them. all right, from killers to camels. should america go broke because you like to smoke? well, the district of columbia, which is somewhere in columbia, has classified smoking as a pre-existing medical condition under obama care. that's right, the health exchange board or heb has decided that insurers are for bidden from charging maurl borough munchers noting smoking is an addiction and we just want to give people a fair shot to
11:09 pm
participate in the health care exchange. i love talking chairs. as red eye regular and kevin williamson puts it, quote, if smoking is a condition, then drug addiction is a condition, self mutilation is a condition, a pension for base jumping is a condition, juggling amp pules o sif l syphilus, practically anything qualifies as a condition under such a plastic understanding. wood chucks are just like celebrities. >> that looked like you in the green room. >> that's right, but it wasn't ice cream. you know what, there's no need for that. why attack me now? this is my third hour of television, by the way.
11:10 pm
>> and it's been brilliant. >> thank you. >> ignore the hater. does this actually, this one little thing, kill the whole entire idea of private insurance, because why buy insurance when you're healthy if you own need it when you're ill and all you have to do is wait till you're ill? >> there is no private insurance, that idea is dead. this is insane but is no more insane than anything else. it's no more insane to force insurers to pay for diabetes caused by obesity. the second the government gets in the business of deciding who gets health insurance and why, you cease to be able to make fine distinctions about anything. >> this is amazing, bernie. this means i don't have to quit smoking, because they have removed -- >> and you shouldn't. >> i know. i'm going to try. but this has removed a consequence of smoking. that's not what they intended. >> not at all. does this mean mike bloomberg is now against obama care? listen, it actually endears me
11:11 pm
more towards obama care because it is fairness for smokers. i like that. listen, why should i pay the same rate health care insurance that wynonna judd and louis anderson paid. being fat is a pre-existing condition. i smoke two or three cigarettes on a weekend but i would be disqualified under some health insurance plans because of those two or three cigarettes. meanwhile these people can stuff their faces and i pay more than they do. this is something i write about. i like obama care, it's a good thing. >> wow, i've seen an about-face, dana. what do you think about this? the more we learn about obama care, the more comical and scarier it becomes. >> so when they passed it, remember nancy pelosi famously said we'll have to pass it before we see what's in it. part of it was that the states, including the district of columbia which is not really a state yet but they want to do and there's a whole thing on that which we can do another day. >> no, right now. >> they have to come up with a description of what's going to be covered in their exchange. so every state is coming
11:12 pm
forward. three states have said smoking is not a pre-existing condition but district of columbia is not the only one. so now basically we have shown what the real goal is of obama care is, and i know you're going to think i'm a kpeconspiracy theerist. this is to get the entire population dependent on the government for health care. the private health insurance is entirely dead except for the very rich people. >> this is how it worked when i lived in england. when i got there and got my job and i was asking about -- >> benefits? >> what? >> benefits? >> i was asking about tea but also benefits. no, and they said oh, don't worry about that. i will hook you up with a private health -- you're not going to go to government. >> don't worry, you don't have to go to the national health service. >> that's what everybody does. if you have a decent salary, they just go you don't even want to stand in line, blah blah blah, go this way.
11:13 pm
bill, interesting thing about obama care. being a dumb jerk is not a pre-existing condition, so you're fresh out of luck. >> there was no question there. there was no inflection at the end. i'm just supposed to sit here and let it me? >> yes. >> there's supposed to be an exchange on these panel shows. >> how long until you snap? >> it was a long time ago. i have an empty vessel where a soul should be. when i was 17, 16, i suffered from two pre-existing conditions. one was i wanted to look cool and, two, i wanted to get laid. i was having an issue with both of them. i treated those two pre-existing conditions for a new one, smoking. and the sad part is it didn't work and i was hooked. thank you, obama. at least i only suffer from one now. >> tucker, theoretically if you take this to the logical extension, if i get in a car accident, can't i just go and get health insurance right after that because the car accident is a pre-existing condition? >> of course you can.
11:14 pm
>> of course there's already a federal law saying you must be treated for free in an emergency room. i have a friend who's a doctor who just did a liver transplant on an illegal immigrant who just walked in and the guy walked out without paying. >> now i'm with you, bernie, that sounds awesome. >> universal health care, let's do it. >> because i know i probably will need a liver transplant. >> of course you will. >> even if i don't need one, i'd like to get one just in case. >> just a prophylactic, keep drinking. >> keep one in your drinking. >> oh, look at this. before we go to break, dana used to be in the white house. she was the white house press secretary under someone by the name of george w. bush. i think you remember him. a great president. but, my, how she's changed since she started doing "red eye." if only there was some kind of montage showing you how far she's fallen. >> they have a whole range of new tools from, as i said,
11:15 pm
systemic risk and liquidity, stabilizing the markets. >> people can make each other yawn, yawning is contagious. but for some reason you can't make an animal yawn but an animal can make you yawn. >> the president will make brief remarks and he will reiterate, argue that the dalai lama is a great spiritual leader. >> in jim carrey's case it doesn't make him a hypocrite, it makes him a [ bleep ]. >> could there be areas we might be able to agree and move forward? yes. but remember this is not just a meeting between the french and the united states. >> you know what, i have made jasper america's dog. >> i think the president and the president-elect have both set a tone of cooperation, one of a spirit of partnership to be able to move forward. >> who wouldn't be an alcoholic as the press secretary if you've got to walk down there, face all the questions. i just started drinking at 9:00 in the morning and just went the whole night. >> so, dana, some would say that this is symbolic of some sort of
11:16 pm
decline while others like me would see this as a sign of immense growth. >> is this like a caterpillar that sheds its skin and you can be whatever you want? because i had the best job of my life, i'll never have that job again. i loved working for president bush and now i can just be me. >> everyone knows what a caterpillar turns into. >> what? >> a gorilla. >> you have become a beautiful gorilla. >> i thought that was an excellent metaphor, you just had to continue it. >> no, it's not a gorilla. >> what happened? >> it turns into a butterfly. >> come on, man. what is that, game of throne stuff? get out of mythology and get into biology. you are red eye's gorilla. fly away, gorilla, fly, fly away. >> gorillas can't fly. >> yes, they can. >> no, they can't. >> where were you raised? you were home schooled, weren't you? >> i was. >> wow.
11:17 pm
wow, wow, wow. >> common core. >> coming up, should you make time for charity? well, dana discusses her new book, sure, right after i finish this bottle of nyquil and these pills. but first are we doing this story or not? no, probably we're going to do the over one instead about -- well, maybe we will do this story. i don't know. we'll discuss on the break.
11:18 pm
11:19 pm
11:20 pm
should he be barred from the yard? well, at harvard, whatever that is, has announced it will keep the rapper tiger for the college's spring concert despite an avalanche of protests over his lady-hating lyrics. horrible sunglasses. students have pleaded with
11:21 pm
organizers of the annual yardfest concert to remove him as the headliner citing songs like [ bleep ] [ bleep ] originally done by mel tillis in which he raps need a [ bleep ] that can [ bleep ] cook, clean, right. turn a [ bleep ] out, make her lick twice. an editorial in the school paper last week called him overwritingly massagistic which i think is an insult. but his name is an acronym for thank you god always and apologized that it was unable to put on an inclusive event. meanwhile the annual gregfest held in my apartment is happening next weekend and i believe we have highlights from last year. ♪ funny side story there.
11:22 pm
the answer on that ad on craigslist to move furniture. that's what i do, bernie. all right, a spokesman for the college said they're going to work with students to foster a learning opportunity about the messages contained in tyga's lyrics, so they're turning it into a teachable moment. >> oh, okay. as though the kids, by the way, don't know this already. this has been going on for years and years. what you hear on fm radio, urban fm radio today is audio pornography. my high school, catholic high school daughter knows this stuff, excuse me, to quote eminem, it's investing in your kids' ears and nesting. kanye west, lil wayne, this guy tyga and jay-z, the president's favorite rapper, can i get an fu to the [ bleep ] from all of my n words who ain't got none. and nobody brings it up and he hangs out with the president and it's all good. but folks, wake up. it's out there. your kids, fm radio, they all know the lyrics to this tyga
11:23 pm
song, believe me when i tell you. >> yeah, tucker, you have children, i think. >> i have quite a few children. i can't get over harvard. these are supposed to be the smartest kids in the world. you think they would be debating things like when does life begin, who created the universe, instead they're debating as they always do sexism, racism. it is so freaking banal. that is the bottom line. it is so uninteresting, repetitive and stupid. it is the province of low iq people. no, harvard debating racism and rap. shut up. >> you have made a great point. harvard is beneath tyga. he should have said harvard? no, you got anything better? he should have. harvard is beneath tyga. dana, i was amazed because you actually defended him because you're a huge fan. >> oh, yeah. i listen every night. and then i listen to dierks bentley to balance it out. the thing also about the harvard
11:24 pm
people is that, yes, that might be true, tucker, but anyone who graduates from harvard will be a part of a network that will make sure that they always remain in the 0.1% of americans in terms of wealth and income. they're not just figuring out -- they're not just not asking themselves about the universe and capitalism, they're figuring out how can we make sure that we protect our network so that nobody else can infiltrate it and make sure that we are standing up head and shoulders above all those little people out there in america. >> i think you're missing the bigger point, which is a double standard. if dierks bentley and brad paisley were rapping these types of lyrics, i mean they wouldn't be invited to the white house. >> the justice department, civil rights division would be -- oh, god, can you imagine? >> mainstream stuff in the music world. >> a paramedic -- two paramedics in new york recently got fired for tweeting really bigoted stuff. stuff you say off the top of your head. not songs that are well produced
11:25 pm
and you spent a month on. they lost their jobs. if thez guys actually did rap, they would be at harvard. isn't the big winner here tyga? he's getting paid 40 grand, which is 20 times your yearly salary, and he gets all this free publicity even though he's kind of a nobody. >> i was about to defend him. this is like complaining about what was on the set list at a party at the princeton club. and by the way, it was all german marching tunes. very, very, very shocking. it's a private college. if you as a parent don't like this, do not send your kids to harvard. if you at a student at harvard don't like it, do not go to this party. the real loser is dana. dana, that you would repeat that filth and she was flinching as you said it. >> i felt bad for bernie because you can't even discuss this because you can't actually say any of the words. then he said the b word and then the n word followed by the s word and basically you can't
11:26 pm
really make a sentence. >> and beautiful and night is a great word. >> i'm going to ban the word "word" so when you go he said the b w. you like that? i just came up with it now mainly because i like to think of stuff. >> you should have gone to harvard. >> all right, we've got to take a break. do you have a comment on this show? e-mail us. and do you have a video of your animal doing something, something healthy, wholesome, not weird. i get enough of those videos on other websites. click on submit a video an we might use it. till to come, the halftime report from tv's andy levy. tonight's halftime report is sponsored by models. those people paid to display clothing or other merchandise. thanks, models.
11:27 pm
11:28 pm
11:29 pm
11:30 pm
we're back. let's find out -- did i say we're bad? >> we are bad. >> and we're also back. what's wrong with me? let's go to andy levy to find out. >> greg, you said we're bad? >> yeah. >> it should be we're back. >> oh, thanks, dude. i did say that. thanks for grabbing that. >> how about we back. trying to be cool. >> jodi arias tweeting during her murder trial.
11:31 pm
first of all, she tweeted hln is an acronym for haters love negativity. jodi, if you're watching, hln isn't an ak niccronym, it's an initialism. >> it's an initialism? >> yes. >> the acronym thing, that's your buggaboo. >> is it an acronym or initialism? >> what about ald? andy levy is a doofus. if you pronounce it ald it's an acronym. if you say a-l-d, it's initials. it's not rocket science. dana, you said arias is making a mockery of these tweets and you were quite strong about it. why do you think that? >> because the jury is not allowed to look at the media, to talk about the media or say nick that's going on.
11:32 pm
in the meantime she's lobbying her case directly to the public without going through the media, which would be the traditional way of doing it. still she has to be judged by a jury of her peers. are you following me? >> no. not even a little. the jury can't read her tweets, right? >> maybe they are. that's the problem in arizona, they don't know what the jury is not seeing or haven't seen. that's why that one juror got kicked off. have you followed this? >> you followed it more than i have. >> not really. >> if she's not breaking the law, if what she's doing is fine -- >> if she wants to defend herself then please stop using taxpayer money with the public defender that she has and defend herself. then she could stand up in front of the jury and tweet to her heart's desire. if she's using taxpayer money for a defense lawyer, she should shut up. >> yeah, move on! >> still don't understand that.
11:33 pm
greg, tucker said twitter is the perfect medium for arias. you said yes, as if you knew exactly what he was talking about. >> i was thinking p saabout sal and pepper -- i was. >> he was an anti-nazi pastor. >> look at andy. captain google. >> i absolutely looked it up. on the other hand, i wouldn't have pretended to know what it was if i didn't. >> yes! bill, you pointed out that arias tweeted of the prosecutor, hmm, anger management problem anyone? >> right. >> this from the woman who stabbed her boyfriend 27 times and then shot him in the head. >> she doesn't remember that part, andrew. you've got to remember that. remember what she doesn't. >> all right, that's fair. bernie, you said arias is a stone cold killer. >> yes. psycho killer. >> allegedly. >> well, maybe in your mind.
11:34 pm
but in my mind she's guilty as hell. >> in the mind of the founding fathers who wrote our beautiful, beautiful constitution, bernie. >> waste of taxpayer money to drag this disgrace out for six months or whatever the hell it is. >> if you hate the founding fathers of the constitution, that's your business, sir. i do not. >> all right. so you're apologist for killers and murderers. >> i do not apologize for supporting the constitution or the founding fathers, bernie. again, you are free to hate them. >> who are you impersonating right now, andy? >> i don't really know. >> andy just doesn't like to wipe his butt with the old constitution. >> that's all i'm saying. >> by the way, she's not even that hot. >> i don't know about that. >> i agree. >> crazy makes her hot. >> no, i agree. >> can we tweet this with the seriousness it deserves? >> i doubt it. >> i was just asking. >> no, i know. i was answering. dana, you said of arias' artwork that bill should try to sell it on ebay.
11:35 pm
ebay shut down her account. she now has her own website where she sells it. >> so now who's subverting the constitution? ebay? >> i suppose maybe they are. as a private entity, they're not subject to the constitution, dana. you should know that. >> is twitter then allowed -- twitter could shut down her account if they wanted to. >> they could, but why would they? >> because she's a cold-blooded killer? >> allegedly. >> she's a cold-hearted snake. >> she is a killer. >> what if nidal hasan was tweeting stuff out about the soldiers' families that he killed. would you be okay with that? >> she's not tweeting stuff out about families. >> would you be okay with anida hasan tweeting? >> i don't have to follow him. >> for the record, andy is not wearing pants. >> d.c. health board says smoking is a pre-existing condition. greg you said now you don't have to quit smoking because they removed the consequence. >> yes. >> because the main consequence has always been the higher
11:36 pm
insurance premiums. >> absolutely, my friend. >> bernie, kudos to you for supporting this, by the way. >> yes. equality, no more discrimination against smokers. tweet them the same way as fat people. it's the same thing. >> dana, the two states that said smoking isn't a pre-existing condition are colorado and alaska. >> no, i said the one that is. >> california. >> they all start with a c. >> protest over harvard inviting tyga to perform. bernie, you said everything you hear is audio pornography. >> i didn't say anything, i said a lot of it. by the way, i like it. i like jay-z, kanye, i like the song, i like this stuff. but it's being marketed to 14-year-old girls and they know all the lyrics. i'm not saying like video games that they're going to become porn stars, like video games you don't necessarily become a violent mass killer. however, it's out there and nobody is calling them on it and
11:37 pm
jay-z is part if the and he's one of obama's buddies and everybody is cool with it. i'm just saying what's up? >> you said that so well. >> two things here. first of all, settle down, grandpa. and second of all, obama should be impeached over this. >> yes. i think that goes without saying. >> impeachable. >> let's be very clear, i'm marketing those songs to 14-year-olds. i've got a little free download stand far away from the high school i can't get caught. >> tucker, kind of a cheap shot at slippery rock state because it's slippery rock university. >> is that true? they have upgraded? i had no idea. >> yes. go slippery rocks. they are the slippery rock slippery rocks. that may be wrong. possible i made that up. dana, don't you think the bottom line here -- i think for me what's going on is this is where harvard's fear of being called racist trumps harvard's fear of being called sexist. >> i think that's probably been
11:38 pm
true. having been called a racist today, i feel their pain. >> and you are a racist. >> yeah. on the other hand, you kind of brought that on yourself, didn't you? >> well, it was instigated by two people sitting at this table. >> not so heavy -- >> bernard and tucker. >> glad i'm not sitting at the table. i rain -- iranian scientist said he's -- it's also the same regime that said there are no gay people in iran. >> what? >> bill, you said correctly -- i don't think the scientist claimed he invented a time machine. that was what the ran before they pulled the story. >> what are you talking about? >> what do you mean? >> what are you talking about? >> the story about the iranian scientist creating the time machine. >> we haven't done that yet. >> i've got to go, man. >> we didn't do that yet. >> gotta go. >> what was that about? >> time is up.
11:39 pm
>> all right. coming up, tucker performs the latest single off his latest deaf metal album. first, what are you going to do when wrestlemania runs wild on you? i hope you don't change the channel because i will hunt you down and kill you.
11:40 pm
11:41 pm
11:42 pm
an iranian scientist, is there any other kind, claims to have invented a time machine that can predict details of the next five to eight years of the life of its users with 98% accuracy. ali says the device can predict the future in a printout using a complex series of algorithms and it will help iran predict
11:43 pm
military confrontations with other countries as well as fluctuate oil prices on friday. he released tape of the invention. that's where keith olbermann ended up. but is ali a prognosticator or fabricator. an iranian official has been forced to deny he registered the time machine with the state. we know you have a time machine in iran. tucker, this guy has 179 inventions under his own name. what do you have? >> you know, let me just say, greg, that cynicism is not the same as wisdom. you mock. but when this guy wins the new york state lottery, you're going to eat that script. >> yes, i will. >> i'm open to the possibility. >> i might eat the script anyway because i'm really hungry. >> bernie, if this works, which it will, and they can predict oil prices, could iran become
11:44 pm
the most powerful country in the world? >> i think it's inevitable. first i want to hear from nostridali whether iran is will like hiroshima or nagasaki in ten years. when he gives me the answers to that, i'll believe all this crap. >> dana, what are the chances this is just an ipad attached to a printer? >> well, this is the same regime that tells its people that no jews went to work on 9/11. >> yes. >> that there was a conspiracy, that they were told not to go to work and so people believe that. so this guy is actually probably a genius who has figured out oh, i know how to make money, or he's just a puppet robot of the regime. >> ah -- >> i would love to have a puppet robot. nobody has invented a puppet robot or a robot puppet. let's go to bill. a fortune teller predicted you won't live more than another six days. that was my mom. she was going through a gypsy phase. you've got to listen when people
11:45 pm
introduce themselves to you. i've got news, correctly predicting something is not by definition a time machine. i would like to actually meet him, though, the one thing "back to the future" did need was the more stoning of the mom. that was the one plot point missing from that. >> have you ever tried to connect an ipad to a printer? >> no. >> no, you haven't because it's almost impossible. if this guy actually pulled it off, he would be the most accomplished person in iran. >> i bought an ipad and i didn't like it anymore. i just didn't like it at all. i kept hitting the wrong things and i just felt like it was weird. >> and then your wife saw what you were looking at. >> exactly. and she said but greg, i thought i was enough for you. who are these men in tights? i said german art films. but i'd rather deal with the present. >> no question. >> their present is hill valley in 1955. >> they had the time machine to bring them to the present. that's what they need. time to take a break, but we have a lot more stuff when we
11:46 pm
come back., autographed copy. number one, political book on amazon. on your prepaid card?
11:47 pm
11:48 pm
introducing chase liquid. the reloadable card with no fee reloads and withdrawals at chase atms. all for one flat monthly fee so there's zero confusion. get rid of prepaid problems. get chase liquid.
11:49 pm
dude, dudes and lycra still
11:50 pm
excite you? last week wwe superstars collided in an orgy of sweat, spandex and sun tans. within the city councspectacle wrestle wrestlemania. and while they saw don sena defeat the rock, red eye elected to hit the izod center on saturday. mostly because we read the press release wrong. let's all get stoked that bill gets choked. >> hey there, wrestling fans! it's bill, the condor schultz, and i'm here at wrestlemania for extreme, extreme and i forgot the other one, so i ask you this. can you smell what the condor is
11:51 pm
packing? >> boo! boo condor! boo! >> condor sucks! condor sucks! condor sucks! >> you suck! >> yay, he's gone! usa, usa, usa! >> usa, usa. >> narnia, narnia, what about middle earth? you're known for your 2 by 4. did you use any other props. >> nothing fancy with b hacksaw jim dugan. just a 2 by 4, flag and the united states of america. no fancy gowns, just a board and the flag. >> i'm kind of a feather boa guy myself. who did you beat to get that belt? >> stephanie mcmahon, of course. >> the real loser is america because it's covering your midriff. >> that's just the magic. >> magic or the terror. come on, you're covering up what god gave you.
11:52 pm
>> who's your favorite? >> brandy. >> don't get me started. >> aim for the nipples. more oil? >> what do you wrestle with in your personal life? >> madison square garden is the greatest place in the world. >> i love msg unless it's in my chinese food. >> watch pacific standard time, eastern standard time -- >> you just spit all over the mic. >> it's always vader time. >> that means he needs a mouth guard because there's saliva all up and down this piece. any catch phrases that you workshoped and decided to abandon like behave or oh, you, anything like that? >> what is wrong with you? behave? >> yeah. >> oh you? >> that's intimidating. >> no, it's not. >> how about no, no, no, no. >> what is wrong with him? >> i'm starting to think these belts are easier to come by than initially thought. where did you win yours?
11:53 pm
>> my first belt was back in 1989. it was against the rock. >> i have yet to meet the rock but the name of my girlfriend is called the sock without getting into too many details. >> millions dollars, millions of dollars. get back, get back. >> learn, learn, learn, learn. millions of dollars, millions of dollars, say it. >> hundreds of dollars, hundreds of dollars. >> have you signed any boots? >> i sign books. >> would you mind? that was cold. thanks so much. i will get this tattooed post haste. tattooed in red. >> well, it's actually kind of bleeding already, but that's psoriasis. any final thoughts for the viewers on "red eye." >> keep up the good work. super fly jimmy snooker, we love you, and take good care.
11:54 pm
>> always talk in third person, never use conditioner and eat your vitamins. >> you know, i'm convinced that your mos is what's called knowledge extraction machines. when you watch them you actually end up dumber than you were before. >> i stweninvented that before . that is a machine that i invented. i pull things out of your brain. you're dumber now, america. >> you have made america dumber. he has. >> i can barely speak. >> it's good because to speak in the third person is fantastic. >> yes. >> fidel castro, it's awesome. >> it's like the opium of the people. it keeps the masses like these people at bay. the bad thing is they all have the right to vote, these fans. just like the jodi arias trial, it keeps these people happy and satiated.
11:55 pm
>> i'm not going to agree with you until commercial break. >> dana, you began your career in little people wrestling. what was your ring name? >> that's not what i want to be called. i'm a little more sensitive to your viewers. >> yes. >> i don't know anything about wrestling. >> what was her name? >> i don't know anything about wrestling. >> and then i would do that. >> body slam. >> wonder woman moves? >> yes. >> i don't even know what that was. >> that was adorable. >> you would always win because you would erupt in a cutegasm. >> all right, we've got to close things out with a postgame wrap-up from andy levy, who is horrible. see clips of recent shows, go to
11:56 pm
11:57 pm
11:58 pm
11:59 pm


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on