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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  November 6, 2016 1:00am-1:01am PDT

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people who don't agree with me. people who vote for me. people who don't vote for me. ♪ good to see a woman finally doing john travolta. ♪ all right. time greg gutfeld. we're going to get to the news about what happened at the donald trump rally in reno, nevada, in a minute, i promise. but first, three days left in
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the and the race is tighter than a baby's fist. trump and clinton are hitting all the battleground states and they're probably down to their at last pair of underpants. here's a tip, turn them inside out, just like new. but don't think this election is over tuesday. if trump wins, then comes the wrath. the media, hollywood, they'll be doubling up their doses of xanax and colonopin. with all her issues, she's as broken as a box spring in a porn film. over the last five decades, pop culture and academia have combined to create a massive liberal industrial complex, which controls everything we see and hear. 2016 was the pendulum swing in every example where a liberal assumption was accepted as dogma, half of america swung back. yeah, we're swingers. it thumbed its nose at identity
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politics, grievance culture, climate hysteria, racial politics, and antiexceptionalism, resulting in donald trump. now, i may not like donald, but i know for a fact that hillary hates me. and i know for a fact that her supporters hate me, too. look at this funny or die video. >> donald trump is a garbage fire. ♪ and the worst presidential candidate our country's ever seen ♪ ♪ so [ bleep ] >> so you know these self-satisfied saps think we're all evil, right? and you know, military and law enforcement knows how that feels, too. so does small businessmen and anyone who isn't a fan of the welfare state. progressives hate us all. and hillary's celebrity fan videos just pile it on. did i say "celebrity." sorry, i meant lena dunham, who is to talent what hemorrhoids
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are to butts. ♪ progressive freedom fighter going up against a dude who's a climate change denier ♪ ♪ who works harder than her man did ♪ ♪ and people have the nerve to ask her what her plan is ♪ ♪ her plan is to win against hatred ♪ ♪ break it down in three words ♪ i'm with her >> i can safely say that's bad. if you're on the fence and that doesn't push you toward trump, nothing will. she's got the charm of hepatitis. so if you're not a member of this in crowd, you will be despised. hence, this uprising. and if you think it ends at a trump loss, don't kid yourself. the hibernation is over. and for the self-satisfied celebrity, the arrogant media and the petulant professors, you're in for one rude awakening. >> period! >> thank you.
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thank you, america. let's welcome tonight's guests. he's both sharp and fun, like a blow-up sword. rick sarwell, fox news, digital politics editor, cohost of "i'll tell you what." she's so smart that rubik's cubes try to solve her. jilian turner, former national security council member. he's so bright, i use him as a nightlight. "washington times" political columnist, charles hurt with a gray hairdo. and if hating life were a sport, she would win the gold, silver, and bronze, "national review" reporter, kat tim! before we talk about my monologue, about an hour ago, donald trump took to the stage at a rally in reno, nevada. i love reno. biggest little city in the world. and he was physically removed by the secret service after some sort of security threat in the crowd. we're not sure what it is. minutes later, he returned to the stage. take a look at all of this. >> by the way, folks, while
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we're at it, great -- >> go, go! >> nobody said it was going to be easy for us, but we will never be stopped. never, ever be stopped. >> all right. so the latest word we have is a man has been detained. according to our producer covering the trump campaign, a white male who looked middle aged, sounds a lot like me -- i hope it wasn't me. no, i'm here. he was taken by security service and local law enforcement and he appeared to be handcuffed. police took him to an adjacent men's room, where they appeared -- why is that funny?!
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it's a serious thing as we mention "men's room" and everyone giggles. there's nothing funny about being detained in a men's room. i'm usually the detainer, though. the campaign just released a statement on the incident -- oh, this is from donald trump, actually. saying, "i would like to thank the united states secret service and the law enforcement resources in reno and the state of nevada for their fast and professional response. i also want to thank the many thousands of people present for their unwavering and unbelievable support. nothing will stop us. we will make america great again" signed donald j. trump. and then i think he hopped on to his plane and he's going to denver, i believe, for another final event. and we might find out more in the meantime, chris. this election has more curves than charo. >> i was going to say, that is a
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"loveboat" that -- i came here preferred for a number of "loveboat" references, but it was not charo and i want to credit you for that, greg. >> thank you. >> did you see how president obama dealt with the trump protester at his rally? >> yes. >> and it was kind of perfect. the people in his crowd were yelling at him, they were angry at this guy. and obama stopped them and he held out the rally forever and ever and ever. and it became uncomfortable how angry he was at his own crowd and he made them stop. and then he said, he's an older gentleman, he's probably a veteran, he seems like he's a veteran, and his vote is not going to hurt you. he's going to vote a different way than you, and you're going to vote a different way than you. barack obama has done not inconsiderable things to divide america, but he demonstrated in that moment -- and he was probably trolling donald trump in that way, but he demonstrated how you do that.
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>> he's a little late for unity, don't you think? >> if you get down to the end of it, if you're trump, you're trying to litigate obama's eight years, if you're obama, you're right to litigate the last eight minutes. and in that way, he demonstrated dignity and respect and a good way to do that and those things will be judged going into tomorrow. >> get a room! this is fox news! you're not supposed to say that stuff. >> and we regret the error. >> okay, okay. we're going to take that all out. jillian, thoughts on what you just saw? any observations or would you like to talk more about the election being an ordeal that makes the donner party look like an actual party? >> you're stealing my bit here. >> that was her halloween shtick. >> so i'm not an expert on secret service tactics, per se, but, i mean, some, but not all of them. what i saw in this was like -- >> do tell! >> what i saw happen here was they -- aren't they supposed to like throw him down on the
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ground and then cover that -- like be human shields? i mean, he was ushered off the stage and his whole upper body was exposed. like, if she was going to get shot, he would have been shot ten times. >> you're actually, you're second-guessing the response -- >> oh, yeah. >> wow! >> they didn't look like secret service, they looked like security. >> well, anybody could have -- i could have done a better job than that. >> we are speculating on who those men were. they could have been -- >> they were definitely secret service. nobody else is allowed up there on the stage. but, the thing that obama did, he was mocking the guy! he was turning the audience against him. and this was in between speeches where he's talking about the kkk and david duke and kkk. i mean, nobody in america gives the david duke any credibility but the stupid media. and he does it because he knows that he can divide people and, you know -- >> he was nice to that guy. >> he was nice to that guy in order to get everybody to like
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gang up on him. >> stop yelling at him? >> no. to be meaner to him. i don't give him any credit. >> you know my favorite kkk story is? i have so many of them. my first -- okay. during the world series, when premium saw the three ks up on the stadium, and they were like, oh, what's that? it's like, the guy had three strikeouts. >> that's why you need one swinging. because if not -- one looking. if not, it's -- >> yeah, it's true. >> every third one needs to be looking. >> kat, this is -- this is a serious incident, but there's been so many things, i think we're jaded now. there's more controversy, scandals, and incidents in this election than there has been in the last, i would say, 375 years of presidential elections. >> tensions are running high. it appears that peep are very emotional. people who support or don't support trump, either way, it's an emotional thing. it's like, oh, i'll vote for
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this guy or won't vote for this guy. if you've ever been on the twitter and you've seen some of the supporters, they've never been so excited and passionately loved anything like donald trump. if hillary wins, these people aren't -- just because you feel really passionately about smng and then you're told it's over, you don't believe it right away. >> no, you don't. you leave dead pets on their front porch. >> sometimes it isn't over. >> no, it's -- as long as it's not over in your head, it's not over. >> it isn't really over. everyone who dumped me in high school is aware of that, to this day. >> yeah, i have a lot of people who are really hung up on me, too. >> yeah! >> i was in your mentions for about four hours today and -- >> oh, no. >> i want to tell you, it was like drinking lava from the actual mouth of the -- >> it goes back to the think. you can't defend your -- >> that's a very good point. >> what up, dog. >> i can declare peace, because i voted yesterday. and since then, everybody's been
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talking about how crazed they are, everybody's in a panic. >> you don't have to worry about what your candidate does -- >> i've done what i can do and now it's up to the good people of this great nation. >> did you vote for charles or did you vote for gutfeld? >> i voted for -- for gutfeld. >> as one does. >> i had an ordeal voting. i'm an absentee -- this is great. i'm an absentee ballot, but i kept putting it off. it's like, totally, i have this thing sitting there. so i voted and then i opened up the ballot and i changed and then i closed it and i opened it up again and changed it again. and i kept walking back and forth. i kept going, what would my mom do? >> are you paul ryan or greg gutfeld? >> i don't know what i am, anymore. >> that story is as crazy as this one. >> it is crazy. i'm not well balanced. i'm not like your morning breakfast, unless you're a transient who drinks your own urine. look, this is a problem with
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having only two major parties. you only get two major choices. so when it's over, half the country is bitter. so if you had, say, six -- if you had six candidates, would it be better or worse? would people be as heavily invested or could it be worse? what do you know? >> imagine italy without good food. >> yes! you mean jersey. i don't even know what that means. i've been watching "soprano" reruns. >> i'm a huge enthusiast of the two-party system -- >> why! >> boo him. because it forces people to have their disagreements within the two parties and then have a broader -- >> would you say that it worked this time? >> but i would -- >> but, but, but, but no! >> my hope out of this time would be that we have never in the history of modern public opinion research had two
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candidates as unpopular as these two people. >> and that's the two-party system! >> but, now, wait! >> the least two popular people. >> but it's the fault of the two parties, not the fault to have the two-party system. >> and it may end up being very good for like voter turnout is what it's expected to be, we've got something like 225 million people registered today that's up 50 million from eight years ago. >> i am already biting my nails. come tuesday, i'm going to have to find other things to bite. >> stand by for news. >> i am taking volunteers. >> but -- >> charlie, i've got to go! >> it's break time! >> don't you hear the music? >> i have a very good point -- >> after that! >> it could be a very unifying thing, because half the people are voting for trump and half the people are voting for hillary. if the other person wins, they're like, hey, it's not my problem. i voted for the other one. >> exactly. that's an important point you made. and you did it while music was
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playing. coming up, a story so hot, you might mistake it for me. but first, which backgrouttlegr states will leave the candidates to victory? i don't know. i haven't been paying attention.
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ohio. florida. north carolina. yes, those are the names of my new ferrets. look, they're adorable. they're also some of the key battleground states deciding the election. i didn't know that. in florida, the race is like a diffuses drifter in my car,+p &
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dried up. the most crucial state for clinton could be north carolina, where romney narrowly beat obama in 2012. said the president on wednesday, if hillary wins north carolina, she wins. that is poetic. still, the one key state no one seems to be talking about, new kansas. there it is. as you know, it's the -- i think we call it the call me state. it's home to most cat owners per capita and they breed them like cattle for nourishment. it's disgusting. its main exports are house coats, flatulence, and sadness. in other words, don't count out new kansas, voters, it's going to be very exciting. all right, chris, you majored in stuff that bores people. ie, polls. but you're the experts. which of the swing states do you think trump might take? >> it depends on how we define swing states. >> here we go. >> i hate it when they start, "it depends." that means they don't get to the answer. let's try this again.
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which of the swing state is trump most likely to take? >> if you're donald trump, you would say michigan's a swing state. >> yes. >> and you would say pennsylvania's a swing state. >> right. >> it will polls would say they aren't. trump yauds to say new york and california and washington state were swing states, and they weren't. that didn't work out. so an easy way to look at it is, is that in the eastern united states, there are four states, ohio, pennsylvania, north carolina, and florida. that trump needs to win three of. >> okay. >> if he doesn't win three of those four, he can't win. >> okay. >> and his problem right now is, he is considerably behind in pennsylvania. he is not far behind, but consistently behind in north carolina. now, he's good in ohio. >> yeah. >> there's only been -- would you like a nerd fact to bore you hideously? >> yes! >> a nerd fact to bore you hid rowsly is there's only been one republican who's won ohio and didn't win the presidency. that was richard nixon in 1960, and they did happen to steal
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that election from him in chicago. >> rigged! >> rigged. rigged. >> that is a nerd fact. >> basically, trump's going to win ohio or set right to win ohio. his situation in florida is it's as dead even as it could possibly be. he is behind in pennsylvania. and north carolina he's behind. so he needs a fix. he needs things to get better. >> you know what i said about florida, i said it's like a siamese giraffe, neck and neck. >> i would say that you are better than that, but i know that you are not. >> it was an incredible joke. as long as i can make charles smile, it's all that matters. it looks like new kansas may be going for hillary, but i'll get to that later. what are your thougts on the swing states? do you have any insights? i know it's hard to be like chris, but you had a social life. >> yeah, exactly. this is one of the things a lot of people love about donald trump. we've had this map for 20 years and it's been the exact same map. and it's immovable and it's all
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a gradual deaggression until death. and finally, i get it, texas is now a swing state, whatever, but at least he's blowing the map up. and that's a very healing thing. if he loses all these states, i don't care. at least he's changing the map and that's a good thing. >> it reminds me when i used to play candyland and i was losing and i would just turn it over. >> absolutely! >> that was just two years ago. >> scrabble, you can't think of a word, you turn the whole thing over. that speaks for a lot of people and it makes chris mad. >> it does, and it should, gillian, do you feel bad about the states where it doesn't matter. like, states where you know your vote doesn't matter? >> like new york and washington, d.c.? >> if you vote for hillary, you're spitting in niagara falls. if you vote for trump, you're p peeing in it. >> it's a little -- well, i grew up in new york, so it doesn't
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really bother me. now i live in washington, d.c. -- >> why is he going to colorado, anyway? >> it's really nice there in the fall. i like colorado a lot. >> it's gorgeous. >> but so here's my question for chris or for you, whoever -- >> it's not for me. >> probably for me. >> what about much ado was made in the last election cycle about the disparities between city voters, like urban voters and rural voters. how is that breaking down, like in this so far? >> do a mental picture and picture 100 pinpoints driving the across the country in the large test city in america? >> i am. >> the farther you are away from any of those pinpoints, the more republican you are. if you go into the deepest recesses of montana and miami, the farther away from the one of the biggest 100 cities, the more republican you are. the closer you are to those cities, the more democratic are. why is every election decided in the suburbs?
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that's where the country meets the city. that's the point of conflict. so the country mice like me and the people i'm from are republican. the city mice like you, where you're from and where you grew up, are democratic. and then when we get -- >> you just stereotype people for a living? >> i do, all the daggone time. and you know what is great? we're almost always right. >> kat, right now we're seeing live footage of a podium. >> you don't see the guy there. >> it's happening again. you mean there's somebody there? look, last word to you. thoughts on anything other than what chris just said. i'm trying to stake awake. >> it just doesn't matter. whatever the polls -- you can't say that! >> whatever the polls say, it doesn't, or whatever they don't, there's five days and we're going to move on to phase two about being upset about whatever happened, either way. i don't think it's possible to always tell. everything that's been known in
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the past has not worked out for this election so far. so i don't believe anything. that's what i've learned. when i say it doesn't matter, it's nothing that we know from the past really matters now, because look -- donald trump's the republican nominee. remember it was funny, he gave a speech and we were laughing and clapping and it was great. reality tv is really funny, because you're like, i can't believe that's real life. but then you're like, whoa, i can't believe that is real life. that pageant mom really does do that for a living. >> we've got to move on, but to quote freddy mercury, nothing really matters. coming up, a story so hot, you'll think it's my twin brother. what will a trump presidency look like? how about a clinton one? how about we just go back to bed and wake up in 2020? headlines,
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logon to there are only two outcomes on
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and. . >> but it will also mean four more years of this. >> it's time for us to say, no! we are not going backwards, we're going forward, into a brighter future. >> anyway, sometimes it just takes time o -- i have to get over it, take a deep breath. trump, what could be the best thing about a trump presidency? >> america's always made great again, in at least one household, because my mother got sick and tired of listening to my dad complain all the time, and she finally took a kleenex
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box and made it into a ballot box and every time -- and puts it in the hallway, and every time he starts complaining about something, darn it, margaret! and she says, the ballot box is downstairs in the hallway and goes down into the next room, checks it off for trump and stuffs it in the box and feels all better and sits down and is quiet for at least half a day. >> have you taught him about the trump call? >> he doesn't need no -- that's like -- >> a natural -- >> wrong! >> don't confuse this, i want to know, what do you think is the best thing? >> the best thing -- no, the best thing is the thing that is whether he wins or not -- >> you can't think of anything! >> i am, i'm just trying to set it up here. no, the best thing is that people -- people have been -- you know, upset, for a long time. and especially republicans. >> especially you. >> especially me. >> you sound very upset. this is screwed. this is a great country. >> is it rigged? >> it's totally rigged. media, everything. >> you are in the media!
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>> no, well, you know -- >> charles, if you don't get to the point, i'm having you shot. >> the message is clear. he sent the message. everybody knows. that's a good thing. >> all right, so, i'm a little confused. >> i think -- >> he sent message, greg. did you not receive the message? like you didn't see the guy standing behind the podium in the commercial break. >> here's why i think trump would be good, because it's impossible for him to fulfill all the bad that people are saying is going to happen. remember, we know -- you know, these critics are promising the apocalypse. it's not going to happen. it's not going to happen. you've got checks and balances. i think that the good thing about trump is that he wants to be loved. and when you want to be loved, you want strange, new respect from your critics, right? >> so that's the first thing i think he's going to go for. the bad part about trump, i also feel like he's vindictive, so he'll remember people that didn't back him and he might
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have you audited or perhaps killed. >> tough, but fair. >> yes. i just don't want him showing up at my place, because then i've got to make something -- >> for a lot of reasons. >> i have no food in the fridge. all right, gillian, what's your -- what's your best hope for, let's say, a hillary presidency? >> oh, i don't really have any hope anymore. i lost that. i lost that -- >> are you thinking -- >> hopelessness. that should have been. it's like, hope is on the way. all the hope -- hope is dead. but you know what this is like? it's like this. remember that ad from the '90s that would be like, this is your brain and there would be eggs like sizzling in the pan, and then and then, this is your brain on drugs, and then it's like scrambled eggs. one of those is donald trump and one of those is hillary clinton. i'm not going to tell you which one is which, you have to decide
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for yourself, but that's what it looks like. >> you just made me hungry. i love a good egg. i don't like to think about egg, because it's kind of creepy, kat, when you think about what an egg is, but i still eat them, they're just delicious, a little hard-boiled egg with some salt. but i'm getting ahead of myself. are we overstating the importance of this election. everyone is acting like if hillary is elected, the world will end, if trump is elected, the world will end. >> well, the world will end, greg, absolutely. but there's so much outrage now and i think people forget that there was always this much outrage, it was just over smaller things. like, remember the binders full of them. that was look for weeks and weeks and weeks, the biggest deal in the whole world, can you believe it? now that there are actually some more inflammatory things being said, no one has enough outrage left. we don't know what to expect. with trump, he has no record, i don't know. he's thrown out plans and changed them. i do know he probably has a great zinger tweet directed at hillary in case if he wins, ready to fire that off.
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i don't know if he's got anything beyond that. >> we've got to move on, but i want to ask chris, the only good thing i could say about hillary is at least we know what kind of crook she is, right? so we know what to expect. and she's hobbled, right? she's kind of hobbled by -- like, when she goes in, nobody is going to be on her team or on her side, or is that easily forgotten once she's president-elect. >> i'm going to ignore your question and answer a previous question that i proposed. and that is this. people are making too much of this election. our framers and our founders intended this to be a country that was not dominated by its politics and its government, but instead by its people. and if we go back and read what the founders wrote and read the federalist papers, if we read charles' people on the anti-federalist papers, the argument is the whole time, politics is a necessary evil, not that it is what drives our life and dominates us.
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>> so true. >> and i think part of what we're doing wrong in this election is pretending that there's a person you're going to elect or an outcome of the election that's going to fix what's wrong with you or make what's wrong in the country right. in fact, america is better than its politics. america is americans. and americans can make what's wrong in america right again, or americans can choose to do the right thing and continue to hate their neighbor and have hate in their heart and not do what's right. or they can choose to love each other and lift this country up. and it's up to us and not up to our politicians. >> um, yeah. i just wanted pepperoni on half. pepperoni on half and pineapple on the other half. coming up! a segment so delightful, you might mistake it for a cute little bunny and then smash its head. and that would be wrong. i know! we attempt to answer some important questions from our audience about the election. that's what we're really going to do, coming up.
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sorry. all right, as you know, we have a dynamic and very sexy audience for this live show. and we've asked them and you, the audience at home, to send in any last-minute questions you might have before we vote on tuesday. so without further ado, and what is an ado, anyway?
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nobody wants it. let's get started. hey, no ado -- anyway. first question is from john andrew via facebook. never heard of it. if you had the power to go back, who would you have picked to become the nominee, kat? >> ron paul. it's not that i love ron paul, it's that i am in love with ron paul and his brilliant freedom-fighting mind. z >> did you like his newsletters back in the '80s? >> i was in the womb. >> republicans would be losing and your message would be losing. >> republicans, they are losing. >> i know they are, but if i could go back -- i would say, definitely donald trump, because that's the best. and then, hillary clinton is probably pretty good, because she really does, she's the perfect personification of the democratic party today. >> gillian, really quick? >> i'm going to go with marco rubio and i'm going to stick with hillary clinton. >> that is sensible. >> so he can win. >> you're picking -- >> no, i think -- well --
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>> i'm going to go with isaac from -- who is a bartender from "the loveboat" for the republican nominee, and the doctor -- what was the doctor's name on "the loveboat." i'm going to go with dr. bricker as the democratic nominee. and we just talk about issues that related to life, love, what's complicated, and how we have fun in port vallarta. >> i would paycheick james web, because he had the best answer of any -- think asked hip, what was one of his great memories, and he was like, killing people. >> it was like specific people he remembered killing. >> that's right. i like that guy! next question, this is from lucas on facebook. will there ever be an election where the past -- great question -- doesn't come back to haunt the nominees? charlie? >> i mean, what -- why is that a
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great question? >> because i believe what we've learned is that we're getting over that. >> it is amazing -- >> like we know too much now. >> the billy bush tape is already completely behind us. >> it's not. >> isn't that -- >> i'm probably not the demographic for that. >> i don't know what that means, laughing man. chris, what do you think? >> so, when it comes to being president, your policies don't matter that much, because the presidency is a reactive office. you are basically responding. george w. bush said he was going to be noninterventionist and he was going to focus on a rather modest domestic agenda. and he invaded a couple of countries that i remember, and the world looks very different as a result of his presidency. character counts when you pick a president, because the president responds to what's happening. he doesn't make his own weather. he tacks into it like a sailor.
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>> all right. i'm glad you brought up sailor, because next question, we're going to sail on. i think i have time for one more question. we'll go to gillian on this. it's from christina in our studio audience. hello, christina. >> hi, christina. >> remember, i'm at the hilton, room 33 -- >> oh, greg! >> oh, stop it! it's a joke! >> oh, my god. >> if hillary is elected, what do you predict bill's role will be as first man? that's a great question. >> that's a very good question. and it's actually been like a kind of under-evaluated, like, not-discussed issue during all of this election cycle. >> did you see at the convention? >> he'll definitely play with balloons. >> he's a fan of balloons. >> you remembnumber one. >> look, he'll have some of his own initiatives. i think he'll continue to focus on africa a lot. my bet is we see him focusing more and more on other countries if he's elected president.
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>> far away from her. >> because remember at the beginning -- >> wherever there's a club med or a sandals, he's going to be there. i'll be like, yeah -- >> why did you have to include sandals? >> hedonism one and hedonism two. you know, one-half is naked. >> he's going back to college. >> last word, kat, what do you see his role, bill clinton? >> i don't think it's going to be a big one. what's he -- i mean, other -- i just hope he does as little as possible. hope he stays in the same place. >> they keep him in the pen. we've got to move on. that was interesting. we got a couple extra questions. maybe if we have time later, we'll talk about them. or we won't. coming up, a story so different, if you were in school, you might tease it for being different. the best thing about a possible trump presidency will make celebrities angry, and that makes me happy!
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all right. will he put a frown on tinsel town? argument to "variety," the magazine, not a generic collection of different things, there's growing fear in hollywood of a trump victory. bill maher echoed that fill friday night, delivering a warning to young people considering voting for donald trump. >> i've been doing this for 23 years on tv. i've seen a lot. i know politics. this is different. i promise you, this will not make your life better. >> oh, gosh. >> meanwhile, as points out, there's plenty of celebs who say they're going to move to canada if trump wins, including walter white, aka, brian canston, that's a shame. and neve campbell, who i believe is from canada, so that's not much of a sacrifice, going home.
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barbra streisand, who is alive. raven simone, and that's so raven, by the way, i don't even know what that means, and hopefully amy schumer after this video. or maybe we -- >> people don't believe in orange who started is not the planet a year or so now. that would be a bummer? >> i admire her so much, now that she's gotten really famous, she's not going to deviate from the predictable liberal stance, after all, she's going to embrace it. >> i'm going to go to you, kat. is there any celebrities who could influence your vote, that you go, oh, my goodness, katy perry says vote! >> it starts with katy perry. i make all my decisions based on what katy perry tells me i should be doing. wear, i see what she eats on her instagram and i eat those things. >> and when she throws up, you do. >> i have a little alarm that goes off. absolutely not. i have a brain that i use. >> good for you!
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where do you keep, by the way? >> charlie, isn't bill maher's sincere apocalyptic worry a little much? >> yeah, this celebrity thing is just nonsense. these people are delusional and nobody pays attention to him. if i were to pick one celebrity that i would have thought would have changed my opinion, it would have been mark cuban, until he endorsed hillary clinton. then it was like, okay, not him. but i love the guy. >> that goes against -- i would say, if a guy would change your vote, and you said, it would be mark cuban, except he made this decision. that is contradicting what you just said. you get shot by the unicorn gun! >> i contradict myself all the time. >> all right. gillian, anybody influencing you. i won't shoot you. >> no, but tom brady. >> you know that we went to the same high school. >> do you know him? >> sarah high school in california. >> can you get me his e-mail
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address? >> you know, he is married. not that that matters with athletes. i'll look it up. >> tom brady. i feel deflated. i would say, i would say either you'll brenner from "the magnificent seven" or rawls. >> i would have gone with yule brenner from "west world." he's the greatest villain of all time from "west world." i believe that that michael crichton movie is one of the greatest movies ever made. it's a whole movie about taking your time when you're killing people. my one celebrity that could
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influence me is wes lessman. i have no idea what you mean. i don't know what that -- >> that would be the newsman in cincinnati. >> well, the fact that you know that freaks me out. >> yeah, we all have google. >> he actually did that without googling. >> but i have google, so i'm the same. >> yes, true, why do you have a brain? >> are we done here? i could throw to some more spots, but let's just go. all good things must come to an end. final thoughts, when we return. look at all these purchases you made with your airline credit card. hold only got double miles on stuff you bought from that airline? let me show you something better. the capital one venture card. with venture, you earn unlimited double miles on every purchase... not just...(dismissively) airline purchases.
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i wanted to know where i did my ancestrydna. the most shocking result was that i'm 26% native american. i had no idea. it's opened up a whole new world for me. ♪ yes, i got a leftover question from a viewer. it's, don via facebook. he writes, if trump's elected, who do you think would make a good press secretary? let's go with you, chris, and go down the --
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>> i'm going to go with either, a, ricky the dragon steamboat, because i think that's what's right. or i would say dana perino, because dana perino is the best press secretary, so we should always have dana perino. >> you bring the dog into every press conference. >> he would give some credit, too. >> so i'm going to go in a more sort of unexpected direction. i'm going to go with tila tequila. >> i was going to say that! >> you're such a liar! >> i'm seriously not. >> you steal all of my material. >> i was going to say that. it's got to be her. >> why? >> she's endorsed him. she already knows how to be on television. she looks damned good. and she's tila tequila. what more do you want? >> charles? >> it's going to be donald trump himself. specifically, it's going to be
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twitter. and it's going to be him on his tweeting machine, just -- oh, yeah, you suck! >> that's how he's going to shrink government. >> and hillary clinton's press secretary would be john lubbotz. >> i think it will be a position with a lot of turnover. i don't think anybody will last probably longer than a week. i think it will have to be -- maybe they'll have to have a team. >> yeah. >> a taken like -- i did it yesterday, you've got to go out there and do it now. >> i think it should be donald trump jr. keep it in the family! >> that's great. >> very good. >> keep it in the family, as i always say, when i'm talking about politics. don't read into that, charles. >> or it could be him, but under a pseudonym. >> yes, john miller! >> and i will never support a presidential candidate who hasn't done his own press under a pseudonym. >> yes, exactly. we've got to move on, but that's a good point.
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thanks to chris stirewalt, katherine tim, and our lovely -- right now on justice. >> how about if she's running the country? she can't run an e-mail. >> a surgeon donald trump storms through the ever tightening battleground states. >> i want to be the president for everybody. >> while hillary dances under the florida rain drops, but will it rain on her parade on tuesday? late breaking news on the changing electoral map. plus, donald trump jr. headlines an all-star line-up joining me tonight. then -- >> if he doesn't win, what are you going to do? >> crawl up a in a ball and be sad. >> the faithful


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