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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  February 11, 2017 10:00pm-11:01pm PST

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they're telling me to stop. if you got to two million and didn't get the book, greg gutfeld's next. ♪ ♪ >> despite all the challenges we face, i remain convinced that, yes, the future is female. >> if ever there were a win/win situation, right? [laughter] greg: yep. [laughter] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] greg: donald trump, he's back, and he's pissed. i wonder if he'll be going forward to do things to make our country safe. >> we'll be going forward, and we'll be doing things to continue to make our country safe. it will happen rapidly, and we will not allow people into our
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country who are looking to do harm to our people. we will allow lots of people into our country that will love our people and do good for our country. it's always going to be that way, at least during my administration, i can tell you that. greg: i can tell you that. [applause] that after a three-judge panel upheld the decision to halt the travel ban. the lawyers arguing the case before the ninth circuit took a victory lap. >> it's the role of the courts to say what the law and to serve as a check on the executive branch, and that's what the court has done in this opinion, in this excellent opinion, this well-reasoned, careful, thoughtful opinion. greg: oh, god, dude, you won. you don't have to kiss the circuit's ass. [laughter] anything else, bozo? >> most of all, as the attorneyen general was saying, people in my office like anne, kelly, kelly wood, kristin, wendy, anyway --
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greg: what the hell are you doing? laugh this is not the oscars. i'd like to thank, i'd like to thank my agent -- [applause] my agent's family, my gardener, the people who clip my lawn. please! [laughter] meanwhile, on twitter someone named hillary clinton tweeted 3-0 about the ruling. that's kind of sad. she's like an old man sitting outside a ballpark with a transistor radio because she doesn't have a ticket to the game. go home, little lady. play yahtzee. you've got grandkids. now the president has some options. he may fight it out on the merits of district court, he could take it to the supreme court. they wear robes to work, they're perverts. [laughter] or he could scrap the executive order and try a different approach like this.
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i'm for that. [laughter] now, the court's ruling reflected an emotional need for popularity which to them trumps actual security. ignoring facts over terror, they knew they would be rewarded by a pliant media who treated this like the moon landing. you though there's going to be a movie about this. i just hope matt damon plays the feel judge. [laughter] -- the female judge. who's a fan of the travel ban? america. and, get this, europe. according to a massive poll in ten european countries, a majority would support a similar halt in immigration. a ban was supported by 71% of people in poland, 65% in us a tree, 53% in germany, i guess that makes them all racist. so a bunch of good people like the bad, but three judges decided that it's just too mean. for they believe anything that restricts islamic terrorism will enflame all muslims. isn't this weird? so it's them who conflate terrorism with islam.
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they're the bigots, not us. screw 'em! [applause] [cheers and applause] [laughter] greg: all right, all right, all right. let's welcome tonight ice guests, shall we? this is so exciting. he's saltier than your boots in a snowstorm, mr. bob beckel! [cheers and applause] she's as hot as i am not. [laughter] she's also one of my co-hosts on "the five," kimberly guilfoyle. >> fancy that. [cheers and applause] she puts the win in baldwin, she's my favorite baldwin brother, actor and producer stephen baldwin. [applause] if it were possible to bottle sunshine, she wouldn't. the miss be rabble national review reporter and fox news
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contributor, katherine timpf. boo. [cheers and applause] [laughter] >> every time. greg: all right. so i was going to go one way with this show and talk about what the trump administration should do next, but stephen baldwin said something very striking in the green room, and i want you to talk about it here because i think it's important. [laughter] >> do you remember what it was, stephen? >> what i told you was, greg -- [laughter] we're headed toward civil war here in america. greg: you said that. yeah, you said that. you said in 24 months there's going to be a civil war. >> between now and the next 4 months -- 24 months. it sure doesn't look like it's getting any warmer and fuzzier, greg. gregg: yeah, that's true. at least you're not panicking. >> i'm good. me and my homeys in upstate new york, you know what i'm saying? we're good. greg: you got your little container of seeds and your little panic room.
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did you see the container of seeds you buy when the world's going to end. kimberly, you're thinking of different seeds. >> no, i'm not. i'm thinking somebody better get to planting and cooking. >> what kind of medication -- >> no, he had the free sandwiches. >> oh, that's what it was. >> the three sandwiches? >> no, free. [laughter] greg: you're the one who had three. >> i didn't. i had cheese and crackers. greg: all right, this is going off the rails. i want to talk to the lawyer here. >> come to mama. greg: kimberly, you're the lawyer here. >> true. greg: trump administration, what should it do next? >> all right, a number of things. one, don't be disillusioned by the ninth circuit court of appeals, they are overturned by the united states supreme court 80% of the time. they're just crazy. greg: they're like a bakery, all they do is turnovers. [applause] >> this is the problem, they're like little pancakes, flip 'em
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this way and that way. what he needs to do is he's going to take it to the district court and try to prevail, but i think that he should simultaneously draft a new executive order that is even more specific and narrowly tailored, and he can pursue both of those avenues at the same time. one, if he's able to succeed with the executive order that he redrafts, right, he removes any objections. at the same time, he could prevail in the court, and it's an important precedent to establish. greg: well done, kimberly guilfoyle. >> yeah! [applause] greg: this is why. all right, bob, i have a question for you. this is -- i think you've got mixed feelings about this, because you are the strongest critic when it comes to radical islam, yet you're probably happy that trump got served, correct? >> hell, yeah. listen, what donald trump learned yesterday, finally, was that there's more than one branch of government and there's more than just the one ceo running a company.
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that's what he thinks it is. so he got it handed to him. look, kim kimberly's right, he's going to win on the merits of the law. [applause] >> and the supreme court will vote for him. >> why don't you head upstate now, baldwin? it'd be a good idea. why the hell didn't they think about rewriting the order before they wrote it? greg: because hay wanted to surprise the terrorists. president obama, he is sends a save the date card when he invades. [laughter] >> right. >> he -- >> i was going to say, i've heard that one. greg: oh, kat, you're not supposed to remember those. >> but it is true. greg: kat, thoughts on this or thinking else in this world that troubles you. >> oh, boy. trump is part of the reason why people are confusing this with a muslim ban, because during his campaign, he said he wanted a muslim ban. we do have to recognize that. yeah, he's eventually going to win. it's a very, very liberal district court, it doesn't
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represent the general opinion. and also he said he's going to win, and normally when he says he's going to win, no matter how unlikely it is, he kind of does. [applause] i've never loved anything as much as this guy loves trump. [laughter] greg: he loves trump more than trump loves trump. how's your family taking -- oh, god, how is your -- >> this is so great, i'm pissing bob off, i haven't said a word. greg: how are your family taking it? >> haven't spoken to anybody. >> do you ever make your brother dress up like trump for you? >> no. would you like me to have -- [laughter] greg: this is what bothers me about the travel ban. people keep saying it's a recruitment tool without any evidence whatsoever. >> lying. greg: they said that about gitmo. the other thing, too, is how giddy the press was when the
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decision came down. they were so excited. it was like the press won. that's a bit weird to me. >> yeah, but, listen, they've been getting beaten up so badly, there was a poll to show that the press was unpopular -- >> dishonest. >> dishonest. also something we didn't know. >> untruthful. >> ands this is, this is a big deal -- >> boy, those clintons, they're just as honest as the day is long. >> half the americans think that donald trump doesn't tell the truth, and that's -- i'll tell you they're off by about 20 points. i don't think this guy knows how to tell the truth. he gets himself in trouble. >> where are you getting this from? >> what do you mean? out of his mouth. >> no. that wasn't even the question. >> anybody who wants to keep going on about he's still back to how many people turned out to vote illegally in new hampshire -- >> i ask you a question? >> yes, sir. >> straight up, straight up, just honest, as honest as you -- why do you hate him so so much? >> i don't hate --
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>> oh, you don't? >> i've known him for a long time. we don't like each other, but i don't hate the guy. i think he can be a nice guy. but as president of the united states, you watch -- >> so what word would you use if it's not hate? >> no, no -- [laughter] look at him, look at him. >> no, no, no -- greg: we could do that to the left all day. >> you agree with him on national security and fight -- [applause] greg: that's not an answer. >> the liberals are getting old and scary looking, bob. [laughter] i'm not talking about you, but if you look at your side, it really is -- >> oh, my -- >> not a good argument. greg: that means the editors -- >> he's doing that trump thing. greg: we've got to go. we've got so much more. this is a crazy show, and it just started. guess who's now bravely speaking out after keeping silent for eight years as he said america's wimpy comedian, you win, but i
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have nothing for you. this isn't match game. [cheers and applause] i thought i married an italian. did the ancestrydna to find out i'm only 16% italian. so i went onto ancestry, soon learned that one of our ancestors was eastern european. this is my ancestor who i didn't know about. to refinance your home.eding through financial documents or, you could push that button. [rocket launching] skip the paperwork and get a mortgage solution in minutes. lift the burden of getting a home loan with rocket mortgage by quicken loans. [whisper: rocket]
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♪ ♪ greg: all right.
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another full week for president trump. he got his education secretary approved, he got his attorney general approved, he got his health and human services guy in. he met with mod be rate democrats, he met with airline execs and ceos, he met with the japanese prime minister and put his hand in a vice grip. keep your eye on shinzo. [laughter] [applause] [laughter] greg: he's going to have to start using his left hand for a while. that's not all. trump talked to the sheriffs' association, he had lunch with the troops and fought off a bunch of warriors invading the village.
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i kid, i think. but, damn, he's busy. check this out. ♪ ♪ >> in a world of high crime, one manmade sure crime didn't pay. nude man doing a crossword on a unicorn presents donald j. trump, jeff sessions and michael winslow as jonesy. >> your day is over. a new era of justice begins. >> executive action iii, justice strikes back. greg: yeah! [applause] there's a new sheriff in town. and he's working harder than a broom at a barbershop. meanwhile, i haven't flossed this two days. but when you look at everything
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he's done, it's kind of normal. nothing crazy going on, yet our nation's precious comedians act like the world has done. >> donald trump was out on the white house lawn anyway making a snowman earlier today, and because it was white, he appointed it to his cabinet. [cheers and applause] >> it's not a surprise that trump is looking to cash in. i mean, we saw this coming when during the inauguration he put his hand on the bible and swore to, quote, get rich or die trying. >> the latest polls show president trump has an approval rating in the low 40s which means he's probably about to dump it for one in the low 20s. [laughter] >> terrible. greg: funny. they see trump as a combination of hitler, satan and that guy in the triavago ads. you know who i'm talking about. >> he's pretty good. greg: i hate him. this gives the comedians the excuse to finally find their balls which went awol the past eight years. "the washington post" ran a piece about all the brave comics now speaking truth to power
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after they were kept like caged concubines under obama's bed. why so bold now? well, before if you criticized obama, you'd lose friends, miss out on parties, you wouldn't get the free cocaine. see, making fun of obama it took guts and nuts. so instead they saved their ammo for trump. but it's not like service there was a lack of material under obama. you had obamacare, the irs scandal, solyndra, his executive orders, benghazi, the national debt, you had him calling terrorism workplace violence. that's 20 years of material packed into 8. the problem is none of it is funny. obama's blunders just ant as lo -- just aren't as lol as trump's achievements. posting the worst economic growth since herbert hoover, it's boring, and comedians aren't that good at math. but trump's hair, it writes itself. [laughter] literally, i think it can write. [laughter] >> period! [applause]
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>> greg -- greg: yes, bob. >> tell me, first of all, trump's so easy to make fun of, that's one thing. tell me one thing he's gotten done. greg: i just went through a lit think. what were you doing, sleeping? >> during this show, maybe. no, i love this show. [laughter] listen, trump, are you kidding me? the guy gives me more material -- >> what are you talking about, bob? >> why do you always say that? >> because i don't understand what you're saying. >> well, that's because you're puerto rican and irish. >> oh! is that what it is? greg: no, that's a compliment. >> don't you wish you were. >> actually, i'm part irish. >> thank you. greg: no, the part of irish that you were has been removed. >> yes, exactly. >> that's right. how about ivanka trump and her line of clothing? that was a pretty good one. greg: okay. if you've got to reach for that, bob, you know you've got to reach for something. i want to ask mr. baldwin -- >> sir! greg: -- about the comedian part of this. >> yes.
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greg: after snl did their little thing on sean spicer, you noticed something interesting. >> i'm driving in my car the next day, and there are news reports and they're talking, pretty credible shows, and they're like, you know, msnbc radio or whatever on sirius, you know, they're sitting there going, oh, yeah, boy, she did such a terrific job with that impersonation. i mean, obviously, mr. spicer won't be around for much longer now. and i'm going be, really? like, these people's perception is that hollywood actually has that much power and influence that this president's going to go, well, spicer can't stay anymore now, you know -- greg: they don't even care at all! >> i'm glad when comedians do the thing they're supposed to do, which is comedy, rather than getting on tv and crying over trump -- greg: that is true. [applause] >> or rosie o'donnell saying she wants to play steve bannon, that's great. >> billy baldwin --
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>> so go ahead, make the jokes. yes, they only make them about the people that are going to keep them popular, but at least they are, you know, done crying and having panic takes, because that's boring to me to watch. [inaudible conversations] >> you know why the snl thing worked for spicer? the reason he's going to be gone? it has nothing to do with comedians, it's because he's no good. >> well that at least makes more sense than -- [laughter] >> i mean, the guy -- >> awkward. >> do you think he's a good press secretary? first thing he does is lie to the press and walks away, he's afraid to take questions. >> bob, you seem to me like you're a great american. >> you seem? [laughter] >> what i want to ask you is this: shouldn't we even give president trump any chance at all or just no? >> i said that we should do that -- >> because you're coming out now -- >> i gave him a chance. i gave him three weeks -- greg: by the way, bob, no
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offense be, but i know somebody here who's been given a few chances. >> oh! to oh, no, you didn't. [applause] >> it's different because trump wasn't on drugs, so -- greg: well, none that we though of. >> we know that he doesn't drink. >> he doesn't drink. >> what were you going to say about billy? >> we were talking about that, you know? you've got rosie, now maybe billy baldwin apparently is putting the word out he's ready to play eric trump. greg: i saw that! >> all the baldwin brothers are going to get trump gigs -- >> why don't you be donny jr. then? >> no, i'd -- >> you kind of do have a trump gig though. >> no, i'd rather be the guy that over the next four years makes so much money i could just buy all of that trump stuff they're doing. [laughter] >> you should become bannon -- greg: no, rosie o'donnell is bannon. >> i like bannon. i get along with him very well. greg: what does that mean? [laughter]
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>> i think he's very smart, he's got great ideas, and he was able to be the chief strategist, able to put donald trump -- >> hey, bob, what do you think of bann to on? >> what do i think of him? best i can do is not think about him. greg: anything that scares liberals is good. [cheers and applause] for example, law and order. law and order, strong military, bathing. all right. [laughter] >> no, just bob. greg: i love bob. >> that was a cheap, cheap shot, you know? greg: which one? >> all of them. that's fine. >> you had a few on kimberly. >> yeah, he did. greg: coming up, a story so refreshing, you want to put an umbrella in it and sip it on the beach. [cheers and applause] (vo) when it comes to valentine's gifts, helzberg diamonds knows
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reporter: this is a fox news alert. tension between the u.s. and north korea ramping up. the pentagon confirmed north korea launched a long ballistic missile to mark the birthday of its leader kim jong-il.
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japan's prime minister abe reacted quickly. president trump said the u.s. assured him they will continue to support japan. while the president had a short statement direct and to the point. he said the u.s. stands behind its ally 100%. ♪ ♪ greg: we're back. all right. some fun protest facts. a poll of protesters in berlin found that 92% lived with their parents, and one in three is unemployed. now, i didn't say they were surprising protest facts, i just said they were fun. [laughter] meanwhile, over here brutality is being redefined as protest. for decades, the conventional wisdom's always been nonviolent protest is best, but just like
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everything else, that wisdom's being challenged. activists are now saying someone like trump merits a violent reaction, and a former student from berkeley says that to ask people to maintain a peaceful dialogue is, quote, a violent act in itself. i wonder if she bathes. [laughter] so now some states want tougher penalties for those who destroy public property9 in riots. last year in north dakota authorities say fires were likely intentionally set at pipeline construction sites causing $2 million worth of damage. more recently, dakota protesters also left a mountain of garbage that now threatens to contaminate the surrounding rivers, an effective outcome for a protest against something you think will hurt the environment. makes no sense. eight states are looking at new laws that would include protection for drivers who unintentionally run over activists who block roads. [laughter] as well as forcing proprotesters to pay up to three times the cost of damages they cause.
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just a side note, i really love this [bleep] [laughter] [applause] one lawmaker, quote: economic terrorism. so we went to some protesters for a response. >> i'm a professor! how dare you! how dare you [bleep]! greg: ah, girl of my dreams. kimberly, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer -- [laughter] can this happen? i love these rules. i know unintentionally running over an activist sounds cruel, but unintenseally running over an activist, you shouldn't be punished. >> obviously, because it's unintentional. thank you so much. [laughter] up to a trier of fact, up to a jury. unintentional? no specific intent, no mens rea. greg: my foot fell asleep. >> but you, you have the little restless leg.
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greg: yes, i do. [laughter] >> you could tap on it a little too much. greg: i think this is great news, bob. you hate violence, you hate people who taint protests with violence, so you should applaud this. >> well, i may give it up for tonight between you and baldwin. you know, one of the things about these protesters, the way you shut this up, this is all the liberals, all the democrats, all -- greg: you guys never do that on the right. >> i agree, violent protesters ought to be arrested and prosecuted, i'm for that. i want to know what happened at trump's rallies around this country when these thugs beat people up -- >> no -- >> people at berkeley were throwing fire into the air and throwing rocks at cops, and there's a response with a list of articles from current students and past students about how violence in protests can be a good thing. so it's a radical conservative -- >> were with they arrested? they should have been. greg: the mayor did nothing. >> a lot of the articles said liberals like you who try to
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distance themselves from that are idiots and they should check their privilege, and violence is good. but, obviously, that's not true because the general public opinion is throwing rocks at cops is bad, hurling fire in the air is bad, so, you know, if you're going to change public opinion against you -- >> but it's very, very radical stuff that's becoming more and more -- >> by the way, is that your second monologue you did? i was curious. why does it always come back to giving me [bleep]? i'm wondering about that -- >> because you're the one spewing it. laugh. it.laugh -- [laughter] [applause] >> you know, i could say something right now, but i'm not going to say it, because it's got -- >> i have a good idea. greg: okay, steven. [laughter] >> seriously. right now we want to give you the opportunity. just look in the camera and tell those folks, stand down and let's do the right thing and let's all come together and give the -- >> they will throw fire in your face. [laughter]
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>> but, bob, isn't that a good idea? >> i'd be happy to do that. >> yourself, you could go, hey, stop with the violence -- >> they won't listen. >> peacefully protest, go ahead. greg: did you see what they did to betsy devos today? >> well, that was worthwhile. greg: you want to -- >> okay, but you know what? it's not just about her, it's about school choice, and there's a huge difference -- >> it's about her being a billionaire and buying off the senate, is what it was. >> and make teachers have to be held more accountable -- >> do you think this woman's qualified to be -- [inaudible conversations] >> i'm talking about school choice. it's not the same -- [inaudible conversations] >> people are like you said kids are going to die or should die. greg: can i show you this piece of tape of her blocking -- of tape of them blocking her from ors and- buying your position. you should be so proud of yourself.
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go back. shame! shame! shame! shame! shame! greg: you know, the shame is he's probably living at home with his parents -- >> yes. [laughter] imrg imrg -- and he wakes up every morning to sniff his fingers. >> that's nice, greg, that's really nice. >> what is the deal? [applause] these people are educational obstructionists, okay? they don't want children to have benefit of a quality education and to pull themselves out of these impoverished communities, to have a chance in life and stop the cycle of violence and poverty. that's the problem. >> the overwhelming -- >> by black lives matter and unions. [applause] >> the overwhelming position of -- >> you got your union shot in, didn't you? you've got to stay out of those union halls. most of these public schools are just fine. this broad hasn't seen -- uh-oh, that's wrong. [laughter]
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greg: you know what i find interesting, bob? >> oops. greg: the biggest champions of public school like barack obama sent their kids to private school. also i want to make an interesting point that wasn't my point, but it's always the democrats that are blocking entrances to schools. >> right. >> there you go. greg: remember? remember back then? >> kids in charter schools do better than the ones that go to public school. >> fact. >> that's a fact. >> what? [applause] that's not right. >> yes, it is. >> charter schools have been a failure in state after state -- >> no, they have not, bob, you're making this up. >> no, i'm not making it up. >> you're completely wrong. >> no, i'm not wrong, first of all -- >> look at detroit and the number of children that try to go to charter schools -- >> go to north carolina where most of it started, and you'll find the test scores are no better than -- >> oh, my -- greg: we will get the crack brain room to -- >> she's a billionaire and bought herself a seat -- greg: coming up, a story so
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gripping, you'll think it's a hug from joe biden. but first, hillary clinton says the future is female. good thing i'm on hormone therapy. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> if you'd be in the new york area and would like to be part credit karma? why are you checking your credit score? you don't want to ride the 13l forever, do you? the doctor said it's not contagious. [coughing] credit karma, huh? yeah, it's free. credit karma. give yourself some credit.
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>> despite all the challenges we face, i remain convinced that yes the future is female. just look at the amazing energy we saw last month as women organized a march that
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galvanized millions of people all over our country and across the world. greg: that was the opposite of natural. then there was batty liz warren trying to smear jeff sessions. barack obama checked out the democratic party to bro out in the caribbean with richard branson. can't say i blame the guy. kitesurfing is as good a reason as any to leave the party in shambles. he got settlement check and took off for thailand. making up for lost time. later america, you suck. great guy. i did something similar on my last vacation.
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i tell the e.r. that's why i'm all covered with that stuff. >> how do you react to the fact that more women hard than went to trump's inaugural? the pictures don't lie, you know. real still photos? greg: in the areas where the march, more women voted for trump. you are talking about metropolitan areas in new york city and l.a. where she had more women vote for her. it's easy for them to get to the city. people who voted for trump are not going to get in their trucks and drive to the march. >> 67 cities. greg: that's nothing. i have restraining orders in 67
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cities. i think it many great. all those gals came out and they protested and they spoke their minds, and amen. that's wonderful. >> that's because you were taking pictures of them, weren't you? greg: what else the democratic party going to do? it's like hillary is the party guest that won't leave. they are trying to get her to the door. everybody is doing the dishes at the party and she is still talking. you know? please go, we are going to bed. >> elizabeth warren thinks she is the future. she is quoting ted kennedy. let's listen to that guy. greg: he's no-woman. he drowned them with affection. told joke. >> people were comparing her to
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rosa parks for that. if she is rosa park for reefing quotes, i'm joan of arc for gefght out of bed this morning. >> that's because she is down in the polls. needing a fundraising boost. she was trying to gin up some cash, a little bit of month notchly money to keep her in office. >> the majority leader from tennessee or kentucky gave her the perfect situation. it should her down. greg: the dem are the good at setting up sold school republicans. they turned her into a victim. they should have kept letting her talk. the more she talks the more you have make republicans. >> before it also shows how in the using of coretta scott
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king's words, they are getting tricky there saying these are her words, and it's their negative reflecting something well we don't mean it to be negative. just talking about who he is. >> what the hell are you talking about? greg: they are saying -- elizabeth warren wrote a -- read a letter by coretta scott king. then the letter. >> someone help me. i have got to get out of here. >> we should let miss king rest in her grave. greg: that's the point he was making. >> it took that long to say that? greg: it's like being at the scariest dive bar and you have think any moment there will be a
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fight or a gunshot. >> you said you wanted to come upstate with me. we should start a militia group and we'll call it rule 19. i like that. greg: up next, steven reaches over and snaps bonls suspendsers. more after this. where's the car? it'll be here in three...uh, four minutes. are you kidding me? no, looks like he took a wrong turn. don't worry, this guy's got like a four-star rating, we're good. his name is randy. that's like one of the most trustworthy names! ordering a getaway car with an app? are you randy? that's me! awesome! surprising. what's not surprising? how much money erin saved by switching to geico. everybody comfortable with the air temp? i could go a little cooler. ok. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. my eyelove is finding a ♪"all yodifferent angle.plays my eyelove is season 1, episode 1.
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my eyelove is making a story come alive. eyelove is all the things we love to do with our eyes. but it's also having a chat with your eye doctor about dry eyes that interrupt the things you love. because if your eyes feel dry, itchy, gritty, or you have occasional blurry vision, it could be chronic dry eye. go to and feel the love.
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♪ ♪ greg: welcome back. i'm really excited to introduce our new sponsor for the show, it's a new -- [laughter] drug called victima. >> it's not what it used to be. >> it used to work fine, but now it's not working at all. the democratic party, it's not performing. it's slow, sluggish, confused, prone to fits of despair. ♪ ♪ >> it may be time for victima. victima, when your old and tired identity politics no longer work. victima gives you that added boost to get you to where you want to be. >> i started taking victima, and now i can yell at successful people much louder than before.
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>> i see everyone as racist, it really works. [laughter] >> victima allows you to take advantage of your body's secret source of grievances so you have more energy to call people names like homophobe or islamophobe. >> yesterday i could barely call donald trump a bigot, but after taking victima, i left 12 messages at tim scott's office calling him an uncle tom. we ready, guys? [laughter] [applause] >> victima, when identity politics is dead, we breathe new life into your dying party. do not take when pregnant or driving. better yet, just don't take it all all. instead, get a life. [laughter] [applause] >> that may have been the only drug i never took. greg: that's the only drug you never took. >> yeah. i took every drug there is -- greg: what's wrong with your party? >> it's embarrassing. >> you keep talking about victimization --
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greg: your party is a cobbled together group of identity blocs, and you still lost. >> yeah, we still lost. est candidate in the world, and we lost against a guy that -- i can't even think about it. [laughter] i just -- >> who had a message and was able to -- >> he had a message -- >> a tremendous movement throughout this cup, and his rallies -- >> and brilliant and does some good things. greg: victimization. identity politics elected donald trump, is the way i see it. but anyway -- >> i'm just curious, bob, do you think we should get rid of the electoral college? >> nah. i did for a while -- [laughter] >> for a minute? >> small states would not, nobody would pay any attention to them, so i think it makes some sense. >> yeah. sometimes when no one pays attention to you, you can do crazy things. >> i've learned that in my life. >> yeah, me too. >> the problem was there were people watching, and i didn't know. >> yeah, that can be an issue.
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greg: it is these days. that's why i leave no observers in my private little hell. >> it's very easy to play the victim. i've done it in my personal life, like in relationships if they're had at me, then they'll apologize, and you're up here. greg: right. well done. >> i don't know what kind of dudes you ran around with, but that line wouldn't work. >> well, no, you're more manipulative about it than that. [laughter] is this a therapy session? greg: final spot next. ♪ ♪ [applause] [ slurpnew girl, huh? yeah, i'm -- i couldn't help but notice you checking out my name your price tool. yeah, this bad boy gives you coverage options based on your budget. -oh -- -oh, not so fast, tadpole. you have to learn to swim first. claire, here's your name your price tool. -oh, thanks, flo. -mm-hmm. jamie, don't forget to clean the fridge when you're done. she seems nice. she seems nice. [ door closes ] she's actually pretty nice. oh. yeah.
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if you have moderate to severe ulcerative colitis or crohn's, and your symptoms have left you with the same view, it may be time for a different perspective. if other treatments haven't worked well enough, ask your doctor about entyvio, the only biologic developed and approved just for uc and crohn's. entyvio works by focusing right in the gi-tract to help control damaging inflammation and is clinically proven to begin helping many patients achieve both symptom relief as well as remission. infusion and serious allergic reactions can happen during or after treatment. entyvio may increase risk of infection, which can be serious. while not reported with entyvio, pml, a rare, serious brain infection caused by a virus may be possible. tell your doctor if you have an infection, experience frequent infections, or have flu-like symptoms, or sores. liver problems can occur with entyvio. if your uc or crohn's medication isn't working for you, ask your gastroenterologist about entyvio. entyvio. relief and remission within reach.
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just checking my free credit score at credit karma. what the? you're welcome. i just helped you dodge a bullet. but i was just checking my... shhhhh... don't you know that checking your credit score lowers it. just be cool. actually, checking your credit score with credit karma doesn't affect it at all. are you sure? positive. huh, so i guess i could just check my credit score then. oh! check out credit karma today. credit karma. give yourself some credit. sorry about that. greg: we're running out of time, so -- >> what you've wanted to say all show but haven't had the chance to say, so here's your chance to say it. right now. greg: bob. >> greg, it's been a real pleasure -- [laughter] you've got a great audience, great series of guests. rial, it's a very good show, and by the way, if you want to buy a
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good book, it's called you should be dead. i was saved by grace, and it's not about politics. it's about overcoming addictions. greg: there you go. get that book, it's fantastic. [applause] >> all right. greg, pleasure being here with your fantastic audience. you guys, well done tonight. [cheers and applause] and, greg, congratulations on stealing me from jesse waters from wattters' world. greg: baldwin. >> congratulations to my very good, dear friend greg gutfeld for all his success with the new show. [cheers and applause] greg: all right. and to bring it down, kat timpf. >> so today i thought i left my oven on, burned my apartment, and my cat was dead. i went back, oven wasn't on, but i just realized i didn't actually check to see if my cat was dead. greg: well, maybe you'll have dinner when you get home. >> i'll update you. >> ooh!
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greg: stop it, it's a cat. thanks to bob beckel, kimberly guilfoyle, steven baldwin, cat tim of. starts right now. jesse: "watters world" is on. >> i read the papers, i see what's going on in television. i see the lies. "watters world" you saw the interview, but what happened behind the scenes when o'reilly sat down with donald trump. >> fake news is the worst thing you can call a journalist. it's like an ethnic disparagement. jesse: the media is calling fake news the equivalent of the n-word. "watters world" hits the snow storm in search of global warming. and i go to the front lines of


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