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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  December 9, 2017 7:00pm-8:00pm PST

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and the american way. the "the greg gutfeld show" is next. [♪] >> i had a boyfriend many years ago. he was my first boyfriends who had his own house. one day went outside to see what he was doing. and he was hoisting an american flag up the flag pole in his front yard. i instantly felt very weird. i felt a feeling of dish felt scared inside. i was shaken. greg: shaken? i believe it's pronounced stupid. [♪]
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i had a bad enchilada. i need something to make me puke. >> breaking news. tabs news brian ross is reporting michael flynn was directed to make contact with the russians. yes. he goes to jail! he goes t goes to jail! lock him up! greg: just more bad news on trump that later turned out to be false. the media got another thing wrong. per hairnts promised her a pony and instead she got measles. ' he said trump told flynn to
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contact the russians when he was a candidate, but later changed it to during the transition. ross should be band from doing any more stories on trump. it's not like trump is in the news at all. what's this guy going to cover now? the hottest christmas toys? that will be a problem. >> i am the storm, the great american grizzly. introducing the original trump event. the up. >>er plus american grizzly. trumpy bear. pull out the red, white and blue blanket. greg: wish i had a flag hidden
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in my butt. how was strum's week snow wasn't impeached, but they tried. >> donald john trump, president of the united states is unfit to be president. and is impeached for high misdemeanors. greg: sounds like you are high. this guy knows it was never going to happen. it was like setting your mom up with kevin spacey. you are wasting everybody's time. a lot of fans of spacey here. love that he paid it forward. as they tried to dump trump, they lost franken. grab a seat, you lose a seat. now trump's tax bill is about to pass. so some of it think it's the end of the world. literally the end.
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>> this healthcare is like death. this is armageddon. this is a very big deal. greg: scary stuff. it's no wonder her face is frozen in fear. no matter what trump does, it's always the ends of the world. recognizing jerusalem as israel's capital? end of the world. supreme court okays the travel ban, ends of the world. stealing your pants while standing, end of the world. >> do you steam the president's pants while he's wearing them? greg: of course. that's the big story from corey hot pants. >> when the president would order two big macs and a chocolate milkshake were you concerned about that? >> he never ate the bread which
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is the important part. greg: this is more proof president trump is the billionaire we all want to be. lying in your own jet eating 8 big macs, while a guy spheams your crotch. while they are losing it over russia, the stock market is climbing. illegal migration is dwindling, trump is packing the federal courts with talent. he repealed the obamacare mandate. he's cutting regulations, shrinking government, and he tightened our relationship with india. trump's becoming pretty consequential, and it's changing people's brains.
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>> the only thing i was good at was the tynpany because i really enjoyed hitting things with sticks. things that don't make sense at first, but then down the road. do it again. do it backwards. here they go. greg: come on. i think this russia thing is doing her in. i know just what she needs. >> when america is great, business is great. when business is great, i am great. i love you trumpy bear. greg: i love you, too, trumpy bear. welcome.
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tonight's guest, a doctor of love and all you ever dreamed of. dr. drew pinsky. she is so bright you will see spots when she leaves. emily ca compagno. national review reporter kat timpf. and the eiffel tower is his toothbrush. former bodyguard, massive sidekick, tyrus. dr. drew, how do you do this? greg: it's a gang signal. there is a guy being shot right now because of you. they are starting on me and i haven't asked two questions. some shrink you are coming after
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me. there is a real contrast between the psychological impact of trump. you see the stuff going on. people melting down versus the actual concrete evidence of the impact of what he's doing. do you see them as equal or what's going on? >> i think it's part of how he navigates. remember scott adams? he sees everything as a negotiation. he takes extreme positions and people go nuts over them, then he uses that to get people to go where he wants to go. greg: when people hear them they miss out on what happens later. emily: just yesterday the circuit court of appeals heard the injunction appeal of maryland. the judge during oral arguments said do you expect me to ignore reality that this ban isn't
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about discriminating against muslims. the point is this week a poll determined almost half of americans believe that the media fabricates stories about trump and the third three it's the enemy as well. greg: we are blaming you as well. everything on "love line" was fake news. i am suffering from apocalypse. kat: i'm used to it. you are a doctor, who else am i supposed to ask. that's another reason why i don't understand how mr. ross
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messed up this story. you would think he would have some anxiety before dropping a bombshell. that would be like going around your entire office saying two people were having an affair before checking to see if they were even actually married first. greg: tyrus, are you concerned about the president's diet? tyrus: i knew it wasn't a real story because he left out the fries. so he had four boxes of fries. of course, he isn't eating the bread. greg: isn't that how you would be if you were the president and a billionaire. i would be a little more flamboyant, it would be lot of things. we get barbeques. there would be more kickback.
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to go back to your point -- you know what? i'm still stuck on pelosi. you all know she was drunk, right? did she know where the camera was at? nobody paid the tab. she was faded. nancy, i'm telling you right now, she was about to get real in there. trump has her drinking all the time. my point is if you take donald trump's personal stuff, you are not going to like him. but that's not yes was elected. he's good at business and bad at being a person. the economy is up, frowns are down, you know what i'm saying? i'm good with that. i don't have to high five him. greg: he's half man, half meteor. drew: i was thinking historically when have there
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been these manic types in the presidency. teddy roosevelt. so it can work for you. tyrus: the old grandpa from the 50s. go down the street. he pays his bills and keeps the lights on. greg: i think going after fast food is a class thing. kat: i ate a cheeseburger while i was getting a pedestrian security other day and i think that was fine. greg: no more hankie panky for senator franky.
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and get to the heart of what matters.
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greg: this week it sank in, no more al franken. a few days after john conyers quote retired amid sexual allegations and rent frank resigned after offering $5 million for an aide to act as a surrogate mother. democrats said he needs to step down. he won the senate race by 312 votes. he won by like 1 trillionth of
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1%. thursday al should have thanked all those women who said nothing and gave him an 8-year career. but he didn't say that. he said this. >> i know in my heart that nothing i have done as a senator has brought dishonor on this institution. and i am confident that the ethics committee would agree. nevertheless, today i am announcing that in the coming weeks i will be resigning as a member of the united states senate. greg: that's not all he said. >> i of all people are aware there is some irony in the fact that i am leaving while a man who has bragged on tape about
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his history of sexual assault sits in the oval office and a man who has repeatedly preyed on young girls campaigns for the senate. greg: who is he talking about? the democrats out of their guy and claim the moral high ground after the republican party backed senate candidate roy moore. i wonder what chris matthews thought that. >> president trump's endorsement of roy moore started a civil war in the grand old party and the newly named grand old pedophile. greg: it took him three months to come up with that. doc, do you have a theory of what's going on there? drew: i want you to think
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objectively about this man. you try to understand yes seems so bewildered. he used to play peculiar characters in snl, it would be difficult to navigate with him. he lunges at women. he behaves like somebody who might have an asperger's syndrome and he doesn't understand what he has done. he doesn't see the social nuances. so to him this is bewildering. greg: i think he knew what he was doing. drew: it's what an 11-year-old would do. he didn't get it. greg: now he's an unemployed 11-year-old. emily, you deal with this stuff
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all the time as a prosecutor. are you a prosecutor? emily: no, but i will play one tonight. greg: i'm the best host on television. emily: it disturbs me that the democrats are using this as a holier than thou. when taxpayer money was used for sexual harassment suits from both parties. tyrus: that's disgusting. that's going to stop. emily: al franken was so sure that he would be vinds kateed with it. when you bring complaints before the ethics committee it happened before you were elected. they dismiss it. senator david vittert. complaints were brought about
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him leading a prostitution ring and the ethics committee dismissed it because it happened before. if it's something that happened before they were elected or the allegations are new as well. that's an electoral conduct pardon essentially. greg: tyrus are you seeing a sea change? do you have a theory? tyrus: let's take sexualism out of it it's strange, it's all we talk about these days. what the democratic party did was political and disgusting. they weren't doing it for the honor of those women. they will throw -- they will get franken and sacrifice him in thinking the republican party will go, we'll do something about donald trump and do something about moore.
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oh, it's so bad you lost your dues. they say they haven't committed a crime, it's their word against theirs. so it's hearsay. if you choose to believe one, that's your right. if you choose not to believe the other one, that's your right. what the democratic party is doing, he should have went through the ethics committee. the first one she accepted his apology. so we can't be more mad than she is. i disagree about everything al franken stands for. greg: including his last name. did say franklin? at least i didn't say i was a a prosecutor. they are thinking this is another maneuver to get trump at the expense of people. the republican party isn't going
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to do it. republicans fight whether they are wrong, they fight. that's why the american people should get behind them. greg: i'm convinced franken did all of these things. but i don't think he got a fair shake in this. is that weird? i think he went around and did this stuff. but why do i -- should i feel sympathy? kat: no. he never even said he was sorry. greg: and he lied. kat: he literally said i'm so proud that i used my power to be a champion for women while i was resigning because he couldn't stop groping them. it's one of the strangest thing we have heard except the frank thing. you can't ask your coworker to
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carry your baby. thai i would be devastated. kat: we are not co-workers but i would not carry your baby either. greg: what if a woman walked in and asked me to carry her baby. kat: i'm afraid if i hold it, its head will fall off. greg: if you are aren't used to holding a baby, it just falls off. tyrus: just stop. kat: anxiety. greg: how human beings peak as a species? i hope so. they are getting on my nerves.
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destroyed hundreds of homes and business, firefighters are making some progress, at least six major wildfires from santa barbara to san diego county, have now been contained. some evac yu hees heading back home the powerful winds pose a threat. >> and overseas iraq declaring victory against isis the prime minister says iraqi troops are in complete control of the iraqin-syrian border the u.s.-led coalition offering condpratlations the task force of rebuilding as many neighborhoods there are completely destroyed, now back to "the greg gutfield show." ♪. >> in future is planing, group of french he researchers aren't they all concluded that as a speeds humans reached their limit for physical performance, i could have told
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them emthat look at me how would you improve on this? >> said one researcherths traits no longer increase by further progress this suggests that modern soets allowed species to reach limits said it in french, that is why i don't trust french what does this mean? fiery sports records he broken, more people will live to but not exceed life expectation, and lou dobbs will finally be recognized for the golden god he is. scientists predict climate change could reduce human limits that is when i stopped reading the article the more we ask earth's humans to comment. >> -- yeah. >> yeah.
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anyway, your a sports guy i think, is this good or bad if no more records are broken. >> first of all, this is a theory. okay, well how do you know that evolution is always changing environment changes, everything stays same humans are -- we have 4 1/2 feet -- >> i have 4 1/2 feet. >> so always changing, driving me crazy, if that is peak we are done people are faster stronger more than ever. >> i didn't mean that directed at you. >> oh. >> all right, sorry, let's move on to dr. drew. >> you don't need a doctor. >> talking about the current as we are goneically -- genetically made up. >> who knows what sort of
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genetic trial. >> thank you. thank you. >> very sad person. >> angel. >> so give genetic makeup as exists there are assumption, the position before two people saying live to 150 hang around 95 sometimes, another 50 years, that is the way it is. >> brain in a -- >> you want a brain -- >> you do. >> i want to do that 10 years ago i am tired of this so much up keep i don't want to poop, anymore. >> you all feel that way. >> i think i know why kat is show us i think something to that -- look we changed genetically biology moves changes climate change we will adjust to that, too. >> we are very we are very clever emily what do you make of this study. >> i think really, about those uber a long life is
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frighteningening to me, just in october, business insider released a chart where it mapped you know at 25, you peak physical appearance opposite sex at 69 life satisfaction 74 you are happiness with body and then 82, psychologically well being the last to me why go beyond 82 nay all downhill from there. >> 82. >> everything has to be downhill when 82. >> kat you are like already -- >> every day, because -- >> what? this has been a very depressing study as good as it gets doc i need to talk to you -- >> again bring -- >> i think that that part of me wants to say, in a humanity peaked in 90s that could be my way of saying i peaked as a child. so -- i was a very popular third grader not to brag.
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>> you know, okay, i have a theory before we go, about those people talking about maybe you can less than then to be 500 or 750 people -- want to do that, but my theory is, if human being could live to be 1,000 we would never go anywhere. because fear of accidental death imagine it is you live to be 1,000 you die at 35 from rock climbing, you are you stupid nobody is going to play a sport, if i am living to be 1,000 i am not going outside don't go outside now. not true. >> what are you talking about? >> what -- >> until you add 700 years -- >> no, because -- because -- >> -- you are not going to liver 4,000 years going to zmie so you are not going to want to miss out 780 years or
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980 years, so no more football no more football no more cheer leading, cheer leading injuries are terrible you are in a pod of warm water he -- >> take care of that. fly out of one of those pneumatic tubes. up next -- human therapist out robot their therapist in. available at walmart. and there's a big difference between ordinary... and the best. which egg tastes more farm-fresh and delicious? only eggland's best. which egg has 6 times more vitamin d, 10 times more vitamin e,
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. >> could android fill your void spill your guts to a bag of bolts and nuts according to wash post what that ever is chat therapy on the rides robot bills yes, it is as charge friend ready to listen
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24-7, around the clock. >> robots trained to copy behavior therapy and approach mental health about identifying distortions in thinking robot doesn't do they were but can be your guide to helpfying o figure out on your can help you see patterns, he will teach you things, like useful strategies practical tools shown to work, you are not troubling him at all honestly, he has nothing else to do. now he is just lazy. the software program to mimic human conversation convenient easy to use anonymous just like -- i am told. >> still mental health apps lining this good or bad for
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care? >> in progress. >> i love you papa. >> that is his -- >> nothing to this there is something to this -- therapy has utility but the destruction exclusively, you have to have two bodies one person listening receiving, tuned into that person without real feeling, so idea you can do it in line robots anathema. >> sort of safe is your yob you can you were in few that wants. >> i want to be -- >> so much about you a lot
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about poop bothers you you don't care about humans. >> if you have one, and you would rather be -- okay. >> really good. nailed it. sounds like it could be good for you. >> no. not good and -- >> it would not be bad for you? >> no, it would let me tell you why i have evidence let me read one testimonial, okay? i love robots so much i hope we can be friends forever, i actually feel super good and happy, great that you feel actually good, but now sounds like you are strong deep emotional feelings for a robot so you just added a problem. >> tyrus. >> i didn't matter -- >> get it out kat. >> go ahead. >> no, first of all, it tracks
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your behavior and comments, means probably know your history, too, right. >> hell, no. >> i will be on there whenever i have had to go to therapy, i always lie. >> yeah [laughter] >> and i am a good actor, so i will make up all kinds of stuff whoa i didn't know that computer would be like tie -- tyrus your computerize is different. >> could this be helpful or just some kind of weird perverted act. >> worried about -- >> i -- a lot in terms of liability and privacy issues, absolutely. and then taking a separate i think it is founder of this program cited emotional connection as one of the reasons, that people he said once you have engagement with someone else on a therapy
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level that is what therapy is for what you pay for i find whole thing ridiculous. >> i am going to rap this up disagreeing with all of you, a great study of juz in railed more likely to den parole before lunch than after lunch. >> true. >> most important decision in man's life getting in or out of jail decided by timingch a beef and burrito you don't want a human deciding you want -- a fryingin robot, number two self-driving cars robots make more dizzying driving down a road out pops adorable rabbit you swerve out of the way, you kill your whole family, about -- a self-driving car will not make that decision, it will figure out what is best in terms of survival and kill that damn rabbit, save your life -- >> computer history knows a pain in the ass kills the family, right?
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>> applause. >> we discovered greg is a robot no a double agent. >> i wish i was a robot ready to join other side when they,ing self aware, self improvement takes over i am with them the terminator i want to be on their side. like i want to be like i can with the machines. >> that don't poop, right. >> still to come -- >> facebook has a new app targeting children haven't they ruined enough adults? i'll . start at the new show me minivans with no reported accidents. boom. love it. [struggles] show me the carfax. start your used car search at the all-new my doctor recommended i switch to miralax.on, stimulant laxatives make your body go by forcefully stimulating the nerves in your colon. miralax is different. it works with the water in your body
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greg: when history of the world written will include list of worse ideas of all time communism. the new facebook mess engineer app for kids, message kids for 6 to 12 year olds like grown-up app kids to connect being with, like his career suicide before he gets the work, think about it what is on his 6-year-old's mind constituteies bodily functions you want your kid leaving a trill at that age don't blame me when they don't get a job because they wrote about love
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of buggers bad as bad as teaching a gorilla how to use tinder. >> great they got mar ed, you are on social networks a lot ruining your life. >> no, this is really, really bad six years old way too young to be exposed to pain what it is like to not message you back this is a new flavor of childhood tears, kids are going to cry and cry and cry all because of facebook. >> now i like it i like it when kids cry, dr. drew. >> i noticed that. >> going to sad movies watching kids cry laughing behind them like robert deniro, laffering laughing
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whether the deer gets shot no hart. >> this is bad. >> 6-year-old on couch more like media engaged in intersection that is not real, pseudonot -- doesn't serve any purpose, and they will be advertising, god knows what else gives vibe a parent can monitor i like, but -- more like -- media for kids really that is a good thing? >> no -- emily. >> are you with it or against it. >> i am against it, so first of all i never had facebook in my life i never will. and the second thing is, federal law dining tait a age of 17 viewers are floor that look for lawsuits for this app but i feel like at that
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impressible age. >> and predicated on control being used in reality. >> 30 years in -- >> yeah. >> i -- i do have facebook, but an national book of faces. last word tyrus. >> great. >> only thing worse than messaging for kids looking ahead my kids don't have that it is a -- for pedophiles looking for kids i would love one day hey sorry i am -- probably hug the kid. >> go outside and play. >> yeah -- >> i like that kids aren't on street always yelling at me following me coming up, kat living out dreams auditioning to be dr. drew's co-host, that
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. >> sadly a lifelong dream, is that a dream? >> the doctor has been beacon of genes for a generation requires expertise high iq he let me you a you a did iion. >> privilege to meet you i ins you like to do sort of what i do radio. >> i want to be dr. drew. >> all right not as easy as it looks i want to give you a chance to audition see how you do, this is you got a couple questions first one from jessica, boyfriend staying out late at night i think cheating on me what do i do simple. >> there is no way to know if cheating or not when you, just start cheating on him, yourself that way if you find out he is cheating you would
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be the be as upset. >> cheating with whom over. >> yes. >> i mean like if cheating she is cheating both cheating -- keep cheating. >> ashley i am single want a serious relationship a lot of trouble finding one go to bar every night meet guys 911 asks when a guy asks to you buy a drink tell him would you like a bowl of clam chowder, like five or six bowls in a night he will text you back if he doesn't make a picture of him on it and send him a photo of you wearing it and crying, about those guys love that. >> clam showed ychowder. >>ia the method great i am ready to introduce you the chowder method to the world chowder. >> okay. let's try one more, now my boyfriend and i fighting allotted word i he is going to break up with me i don't want to lose him what should do i.
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>> get pregnant boom, so -- a child you want time to fight it off studies shows couples have babies immediately stop fighting. and -- >> you are a fan of the show -- >> more fighting relationships. >> you can't tell him that you are thinking about getting pregnant do it only thing better than surprise party, a surprise baby. >> all from personal experience. >> well, you know, i mean -- >> just your take on -- >> yeah, yeah i think i am kind of like a natural. >> you were certainly natural cat has gone been a privilege meeting you i thank you he i got to go right now. >> okay. >> i got to -- >> okay. >> thank you. thank you. so that well done. >> i will see you. thank you. [applause]. >> all right.
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dr. drew -- our studio audience, i am greg gutfeld i love you. ♪ as if welcome to "watters world" i am jesse watters president trump taking make america great again message on road standing room only crowd in pensacola florida, immediately hit fake news media. >> going to spending a plain truth speak plain truth the truth you just want to hear you have to hear they don't want to hear. >> but and, by the way, did you see all the corrections media has been making they say so are we made a -- doing that all year never apologize maybe that comes with being the president,i don't know. i don't know they have been


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