catchers mitt. i'm starting to do things behind the camera. >> i have really enjoyed this. thank you so much. >> i'm flattered that you wanted to do this, thank you so much. >> i honored. hello. everyone. it's 5:00 in new york city and this is the five. ♪ we hope you're having a merry christmas eve. we have lots of goodies in store for you today, including a trip down memory lane, and juan fulfills his childhood dreams. we take a look back at some of the most fun moments of the year including a special christmas treat. greg, jessie and gawp hea juan o
the fao schwartz store. our team put together some individual highlights of the five of us. i'm going to go first. watch this. >-->> kevin. >> what about he kevin? >> that was a special break slub. i'm so sorry. the scar i have is when i fell off a three-wheeler. [ laughter ] >> so bad. >> jessie asked me if i was wearing heels. i'm so short. but we were told to wear our flats. >> is that better? >> i want to make sure everybody knows at home, dana is wearing heels. she is shorter -- >> i'm not wearing heels. >> she is even shorter than she appears at home. >> dana's corny jokes. which letter is the coolest? what do you call a running turkey? what do you call a short court trial? can i show that? i know we've got to go. >> day that loves her chart.
>> 7:00 in the morning you get eight charts from dana. >> didn't you thinke think it ws interesting? >> i opened it and i closed it. >> who sends charts before 9:00 a.m. >> let me tell you about jasper. my dog jasper -- jasper's birthday. jasper. jasper. jasper. jasper. jasper. jasper. jasper. jasper. jasper. jasper. jasper. jasper. >> chasing people around with a reptile, each going into the -- with it. >> hello, dana. >> hi, mom. [ laughter ] >> i just wanted to tell you that you're not in trouble. >> i'm going to try, p then. i -- i'm going to cry then. i can't believe that all happened. >> you had a wild year. there were a lot of highlights, a lot of low lights. by the way, those aren't jokes. those are riddles.
are you surprised how often you say jasper? >> i am amazed. >do iam amazed.>> do i take a ls in. >> either that or people on the show don't like watching you again. >> i don't think they're bad. i would call them jokes. they make me laugh. >> but a joke is different than a riddle. >> can i tell you something about your height? that's a fantastic thing, you would make a great professional snowboarder or gymnast. my oldest daughter reached a milestone this year, because she's dana plus three. >> she's 5'3"? >> do you know what i could do with three tra extra inches of height? i could reach more things. >> my mom was 4'11" but i never
noticed it. >.>> short people are larger thn life. >> what i'm looking forward to is the next round-up. take a loo jessie's -- take a lk at jessie's highlights. >> there we go, get it locked in. civilization was going down when i joined the five. >> john fund had a piece of national review today. >> i read that, andrew mccarthy had a great piece in the national review today. >> what's so funny? >> i think we should use more movie clips in the show. it's like you're not funny enough to get the audience to laugh a little more. >> you're the king about what about-ism. >> this is a what about-ism. finally, somebody to defend what about-ism. >> finally, stop talking about
your hair. >> i have a new hair style i'm debuting and take it around the table. it's a little different. i feel like i'm considered a metro sexual. >> you blow-dry your hair. >> how would i look with hair like that? >> there it is. it's the same. >> my mother told me to stop talking about my hair. i was severely bullied at as a child. >> you deserved it. >> i've always been bullied. juan has been exhibiting signs of trump derangement syndrome. >> he's extremely short. >> he's extremely short. [ laughter ] >> jessie's staring at us. >> what about-ism and hair. >> are those my highlights? >> i can't believe they didn't show your jacket. i love your jackets. you wear the lightest, most beautiful jackets. >> you mean the powder blue? >> he's the li the liberace of x
news. >> the big star is your mom tags. >> we should do the whole show on that one. >> make it easier for the rest of us. >> easier than facebook friday. >> you know your mom gave me that trump countdown clock. it speeded up, mom. i need more. >> it's eight years, not four. >> i love having you here. >> well, thank you very much. >> next, we get a real treat. here's juan. >> guess what and guess what, guess what, because guess what. take a look at my grandkids, folks. eli is starting third grade, the girls are off to first grade. i brought back pictures of rafi and morgan. here's their magic moment exchanging rings with father c.j. here's me cutting my wedding cake. these are the dog days of summer. big boys cry too.
folks, i'm all shook up. saturday it was "girls gone wild" in d.c. talk about jump out of the frying pan into the fire democrats aren't to blame. come on, man. come on, lady. come on. anyway, the larger point, to my mind -- >> which i'm right. >> well, that's always true. that's always true. >> you have the optimism swirl, you have the peace pendulum. >> what is the democratic platform? >> we change our memories. >> you've all gone down and then -- >> it's interesting, because the answer is juan one. williams congratulations. >> by the way, do i get a little more respect having won both the supermarket and -- >> no, you get no respect. >> thanks, juan. >> [ laughter ] you know what i realized?
your one more thing intros is what the local news caster does. >> guess what? come on. that's the way it rolls. >> i like it. >> and then a facial expression. >> and then a -- >> you left out the -- i don't know what's going on at this table. i'm sitting here at this table. >> that's a perpetual state. that's always for me. i tell you, that's a lot of fun to see. it's self-revelatory. >> i loved how much you love your family. that's wonderful. you talk about them and you give people a glimpse inside. they think that you're the worst person on the planet, a lot of people. when they meet your family they realize you're deeply connected. the fact that you raised republicans, --
>> they think i was born without a family or never had a family or -- >> the thing about guess what is that could be any year. >> i do it all the time. >> as much as they give you a hard time -- >> it's spreading. because you keep doing it. now everybody's doing it. you hear it everywhere. >> well, yes. you must watch a lot of tv. >> i do. >> guess what? we have more tv to do. we'll have a chance now to go down greg's memory lane. watch this. >> it's all abou vowels. she's snorkles with mac macarond skis in a sugar bowl. a staple is her balance beam. i'm going to watch your special coverage, the bold and the bear, the bear means everything. >> one more thing, one more thing. can i say one more thing? the green food in the d.c. bureau is not good. >> i knitted lou dobbs a body suit that he wears on the weekend.
we go to the park and use our body weight as resistance training. >> born to be wild, the life and times of lou dobbs. the book is doing great. it's the gutfeld monda monologu. i forgot to sign them. >> my tie? now? i need a mic. it's a crazy show. anyway, i'm going to be at dallas -- i'm going to be in fort worth, texas. >> it's time for animals are great, animals are great, animals are great. >> this hampster is great. >> you know what animal's really great? how about a little duck? >> animals are great, animals are great. >> it's incurable. >> you know, you can define your year as animals are great and your book. >> and dobbs. >> dobbs, my book and animals. what else do you need? >> sounds like an ideal weekend.
>> if i invent one thing and no one ever remembers anything else, it's animals are great. >> pretty good. >> what happened with brett saying captain kangaroo. >> he was wrong? captain kangaroo sang an entirely different song. ironically his name is bear but he doesn't know much about animals. >> one thing you brought on the book tour is that little kids that watch the five, they love to watch one more thing, they love -- >> if you have at one little animal thing or one yelling thing, like somebody acting silly, kids like it. do you remember when you watched a show as a kid and you liked it but you didn't know what was going on. >> that's you, greg, do it for the kids. >> do it for the kids, like the sweater with the santa on the unicorn. >> do you bring it out every year? >> it was sitting on a shelf for 365 days. >> did you have it cou collanda?
>> what's that. >> it's an old word fo for tailoring. >> when i go out into the world, i say lou, don't complain to me. when i go to the d.c. bureau, i say this is between you and greg, not me. leave me out of it and dana comes up to me and says don't you think he's making fun of me? i say, no, it's in good fun. >> talk about good fun. watch kennedy. >> oh, no. >> i'm just watching the fireworks with a basket of popcorn. >> this i kanard deperdeau. >> what are you saying, you want the president to have another summit with president putin. >> i give up. >> i think i broke my foot. i was kicking a shark in the face. >> i have a vision of robert mueller like a painter, standing
in front of the canvas saying i'm an artist, you never know when it's done. >> you hit the nail on the head, miranda. >> it's charlotte. >> you're miranda, i am charlotte. >> western europe needs destiny child's bills, bills, bills. >> my mom works for the 230e7b e company. i told her i was spending the night at a friend's house but i really went to the republican convention. my mom was a life car long life. >> all i do is go to youtube and watch crying hillary supporters from election night. >> it needs more than 1%. >> this is a drink called the hillary. celebrate national tequil at th, smashed black berries, and tequila to get you hammered to
help break the glass ceiling. >> you're always good for a few laughs. >> bless your bones. >> you know you're funny? it's an inside joke. there's an arrest core that went up -- an anchor that went up to kennedy and said you know you're funny? >> for a broad. >> yeah, for a broad. it wasn't lou dobbs. you know the shows that used to do flashback episodes? i hate that. >> i love flashback episodes fls sometimes. >> what happened to the chick? is it okay? >> the duckling changed species and turned into a beautiful swan. >> is that what they become? >> i'm curious, what do people ask you about the five? >> they always ask about juan and why do you guys let juan get away with so much? i think juan feels ex aspirated.
when i was filling in for you the other night at the women of worth ceremony -- >> you backed out of that. >> i was at a funeral. >> never mind. >> a young man who worked in the hotel said you've got to look out for juan. he's my guy. i watched fox and i watch the five for juan. so -- >> all right. >> they always want to know--my uncle has a crush on you. >> you can't drink alcohol on tv. >> you told me now. >> did it taste goods? >> it was fantastic. >> i've got one called the sweet chariot. >> you can drink on commercial breaks. >> i do. >> you're scott adams. >> the producers, unbelievable. >the best of, the worst of time. it's always the best of times on the five. >> that would be a good lead for a book. >> which one? >> i don't know.
please don't write another book. you've written enough. >> up next, everything is bigger in texas including the barbecue. our tasty trip to dallas is next on the five's christmas eve special. is next on "the five" christmas eve special. >> ♪ managing my type 2 diabetes wasn't my top priority. until i held her. i found my tresiba® reason. now i'm doing more to lower my a1c.
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and two-hour appointment windows. click, call or visit a store today. >> ♪ jessie said that music is terrible. thwhat is that. that's what's my name from the clash. >> typical christmas music. >> written by keith levine. he wrote that in a hallway, that song. >that. >song.>> you're off topic. >> we take a look back at some of our memorable moments from the year. everyone knows ribs are some of my favorite foods. i couldn't miss the chance to try texas style barbecue when we headed to dallas before the midterms. ♪ >> everybody, we're here at the
hard eight pit barbecue in dallas, texas which is amazing. i've got greg and jessie with me here. are you ready to eat. t?>> we're so hungry. >> at 5:36 p.m. every day in the commercial break, you ask this question. every day at 5:36, greg in the commercial break will ask what am i going to eat tonight and it's usually ribs. >> i think i eat ribs four times a week. >> what's in greg's cup, by the way? is that sweet tea? >> i call it sweet h tea. some people may call it hard tine. i may hate the democrats, i may hate the libs, but man, i love ribs. you can tell that the dallas cowboys lost by the mood of the place. you can feel it because the redskins just beat the cowboys.
there's a little bit of a pall over the crowd. cowboys and indians were a rivalry a long time before football. >> i think this is our first road trip with jessie. >> any advice for me on the road? >> [bleep] >> lawrence jones is here with us, he's from texas, you know him from fox news. et's bring in lawrence jones. this is your recommendation. why did you pick this place? you used to come here a lot? >> yeah, because they don't rush the process. they season their meat. they marinate it and then they put it in the smoker, get that extra flavor in there and it's so good, right? >> when they say everything is bigger in texas, what specifically are they referring to? >> jessie, this isn't some kind of sick water's world game. >> the state fair, the guns, the buildings. the only thing that's not big is the taxes. we don't have a state tax.
>> jessie's hair is big. big hair. >> see that thing up there? that's a wolverine. you know what a wolverine is? it's half wolf, half erine. >> that's worth more than the mega millions. >> that is a lot of meat. >> that looks good. >> is this greg's dream come true? >> i'm taking this picture so i can look at it when i go to bed tonight. >> do people eat one of these by themselves? >> we have linemen that come in from the dallas cowboys that will dough viewer on devour one. >> what's the key to the barbecue? >> it's the national past time for texas. everybody does that, everybody
barbecues. >> some were saying beto o'rourke wants to get rid of barbecue in texas. what do you think of that? >> anybody in the state of texas can commit political suicide by saying that. >> you fill these all the way up with wood, it will burn all night long. the guys get here at 5:00 in the morning. we start getting ready for the day. >> have you ever put a small boy in there, about the size of greg? >> can you close that? >> well, it's hard. it's hard to do a segment that involves eating. >> especially if you're starving. >> i didn't speak the entire segment. the producer had to get in my ear and say stop eating, jessie, say something. >> you stop doing your job. >> i remember you bragging for the whole rest of the trip how that wolverine joke was. >> you liked it. >> i didn't even think it was that good. >> it was so dumb.
>> it was so dumb. and i've got kids who tell dumb jokes. >> that's a dumb joke, not a dumb riddle. >> i was working. >> we weren't working at all. >> when i saw you, i was surprised, you said it's too spicey. you love spicey food. >> it was caught in my throat. i have a small throat. >> you have some unusual -- >> okay. go to the pharmacy. [ laughter ] >> i love th the brisket. i let you have the sides. >> lauren's grandmother made an excellent desert, a corn desert or something. >> it was like a sweet pumpkin pie. >> it was insane. >> it was a mother or grandmother. >> she owns a bakery. >> it's her bakery. >> he mentioned it when we did
the show at fmu. it blew out the internet because everyone was trying to order it. >> that can happen. that and kim kardashian's bottom, apparently. >> well, i speak wolverine. >> should i move on? >> juan's all access look behind the scenes at this year's major league all-star game when we return. all-star game when we return. hey! yeah!? i switched to geico and got more! more savings on car insurance!? they helped with homeowners, too! ok! plus motorcycle, boat and rv insurance! geico's got you covered! like a blanket!
merry christmas, everyone. live from america's news headquarters, i'm anna koman. no resolution to the partial government shutdown in sight. the president and melania trump are spending christmas in washington, d.c. they arrived at the cathedral for a late service last night. mr. trump would have most likely preferred attending services in near his estate in palm beach, florida. the president wants $5 billion for the border wall. pope francis is urging christmas to foregrow the materialism of christmas and focus on the message of simplicity, charity and love. he celebrated a christmas eve mass last night. during the homily he said many
people find meaning in possessions. heavy losses on wall street rippling around the world. japanese stocks plunged 5%. other major u.s. stock indexes fell more than 2% monday. analysts say president trump's twitter attacks on the federal reserve spooked the market. wall street is closed today in observance of christmas today. now back to the five, christmas special, merry christmas everyone and soon a happy new year. ♪ a beautiful sight, we're happy tonight,. ♪ walking in a winter wonderland. ♪ gone away is the blue bird. ♪ here to stay is a new bird. ♪ sings a love song - welcome back. we hope you and your family are having a very merry christmas
eve. i'm a hugeil baseball fan. as was the thrill of a lifetime for me to be at the mlb all-star game in d.c. in july. it's time to take you behind the scenes for all the major league action. >> big boy's dreams come true. i'm juan and i get to go to the all-star game for the first time in my baseball fan's life. it's also a dream come true for a little boy named juan. i'm going to the all-star game. can you believe it? all-star game. so i'm a national season ticket holder and i wanted to tell you guys and showm you guys where i sit when i come to have some fun. time off means baseball for me. this is where i sit at national's park. i want to show you where charleskrauthamer sat. right here. he was in a wheelchair so this
was a special accommodation made by the team. >> he would come with the wheelchair and he would come in the runway and i would talk to him. >> what would he talk to you about? >> he would ask me why i took that guy out. >> would he really? >> this is the first time i've ever been to an all-star game big thrill for me. is it a thrill as a player? >> a for sure, first one for mes well. >> you say the all-star game is great because? >> it's great because it's an exhibition of the greatest players on the planet. >> i grew up a reds fan. e> you grew up a reds fan and you play for the reds. no one else i stalked to has been able to -- no one else i talked to has been able to say that so far. baseball has been everything for me since i was a kid. it's a thrill because now i get to share it with my grandson,
eli. >> you grew up in detroit? >> i did. >> you're a tigers fan first? >> i love the tigers. i can tell you all the people on the '68 team that won the world series. >> here i am, in national's park, in my seat at the ballpark next to my favorite baseball fan, my wife. she's a bigger than than i am. she gets to come to all the games. >> do you love baseball? >> i love baseball. >> but you love me more? you see what i mean? you see what i mean. >> this is my usher, he helps me out. when i catch a fly ball, what do you make me do with it? go give i>> give it to a youngs. >> mary katherine scores every game the old fashioned way, on the score card.
>> it's a beautiful night for baseball. >> that's pretty. >> you were in -- that was pretty fun. >> you were in such a good mood after that, the producers should sends you to a game every week. >.your spirits were lifted that week. >> then i reason i like that. we have proof ben carson is still around. that's the first i've seen ben carson in ages. >> and he can hit. >> one of the producers, she was a big boston red sox fan. one of the players was mookie bets which was her favorite. >> i heard they gotte got eng. >> bringing people together. >> bud black, the manager of the rockies, he came over to say hello. he's a fan of the fives. >> i don't like the idea of you
have to give your ball to a kid. they should learn that if they want a ball, they've got to earn it. >> life is not easy. >> i think if you take a mitt to the game, you get to keep the ball. >> you said krauthamer had a special seat dedicated to him. >> they made not only a special seat, a special section, he got to sit in the wheelchair but the best part was driving to the ballpark with charles, because of course charles had this special james bond type van. >> that he was in control of. >> yes. >> oh, yeah. and he drove fast. he had a need for speed. >> he had a lead foot. >> he got to park in the owner's parking spot. it was unbelievable. >> [ laughter ] >> charles, wow. >> anyway. go ahead. >> deeply missed. >> deeply missed. much loved. up next, the escapades of dana perino and jessie waters, find
out who screamed the loud efforts wheloudestwhen they visd house. that's coming up next on the five's christmas eve special. ♪ baby please come home. ♪ christmas. ♪ the church bells in town. ♪ christmas. ♪ and spray cleaners? try mr. clean magic eraser. just add water, squeeze, and erase. mr. clean magic eraser works great on burnt-on food in the kitchen. it's perfect for cleaning stubborn bathroom soap scum. even on glass. and it even removes four times more permanent marker per swipe. try mr. clean magic eraser, for your impossible kitchen and bathroom messes.
remember when i embarrassed her with my amazing waiter skills? first, let's check out a visit to the haunted house, a he very scary experience. >> we're here at blood manor, dana and i, new york's premier haunted attraction. we're wearing go pros so they can capture all of dana's shrieks. >> i haven't been to a haunted house since i think i was 13. >> these things don't traditionally scare me. if you do hear me scream, it's probably because i'm hamming it up for the cameras. >> if i' i'm shrieking it's probably because i'm terrified. >> let's do it. >> okay. okay. all right! you're freaking me out, man! >> ahh! >> ahh! okay.
let's go, let's go. >> [screaming] >> oh, god! let's go, let's go. >> okay. >> okay, okay, okay. >>.>> you've got pretty hair. et me chop it off for my dolly. >> oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. stop touching me. stop touching me. i can't see anything. >> this is the worst idea we've ever had. >> i can't see anything. i think i hurt my neck. ahhh! >> oh, god. >> ahhh! i'm going to enjoy cutting you
>> oh, my god. >> we survived blood manor. >> i am so glad you were in front. >> i'm not. >> i don't know if i could do that again. >> dana, i don't feel so well. >> i thought you were joking. >> i really -- i feel sick. if you want to be scared, do this. >> [ laughter ] th>> that was acting when i was screaming like that. that was not real. >> you really put it all out there. >> i laid it on thick for the folks. i wanted to visually entertain those walking. >> i really did hide behind you the entire time. >> you pushed me forward and all the people with the medical devices. warning that a they would be screaming at you. >> i did a poll on twitter, it turned out that packages are segments like this, do you like it when the hosts go places. 39% -- 38% said they loved them. 39% said they hated them. >> not true. show it to me. can i see the poll?
>> 20 some odd percent said they're indifferent. it's 60% don't like the packages. >> really? >> here we are. 38% loved them, 23% hate them, 39% are indifferent. >> fake news, fake news. >> the same poll had hillary winning. >> that's true. >> maybe this is wrong. we don't know. >> you don't want to di go out e building. >> there's data manipulation there for one reason or another. >> by the way, the thing that caught my attention was the blood. i just thought man, if they splattered blood on poor dana, that woul would be awful. >> one of these haunted houses in new york that are actors, they're really into it. the set design and everything. if you want to be scared, it was pretty good. >> once they knew the fox people were coming in, they took a little bit out on us. >> why say us. you. >> me. >> you. >> definitely me.
>> in april, dana and i attended the 17th annual waiting for wishes dinner in nashville to help raise money for special charities where we waited on the tables. it was a great night. take a l look. >> let's welcome dan well day t- welcome dana perino and jesse watters. >> i don't know how jesse watters got invited. either .t know it was a complete surprise. >> you want to he se see a real celebrity? >> this is my world. >> he's like my kid brother. i have to take him along with me everywhere. >> i did wait tables years ago so we'll figure this out. i'm not sure what i'm doing but we'll make it work. >> i need brown bread.
they told me someone needs brown bread. >> oh, my god. >>ne jessie, are you working? >> of course i'm working. i'm taking pictures here. >> i need brown bread for a table. where do i get that? >> in the kitchen. >> can i butter your roll? >> actually, yeah, if you would do that -- >> i'm going to you butter your roll. do you like a lot of butter or a little butter? >> yeah. >> you probably want the nfl players to sign this. >> how much is jasper worth? >> you better be putting money in for me, rights? >> r you can go through me. do you know how to do that? >> take time for everybody. $20 a night. i'm going to dig in. >> we're friends, right? >> what are you, medium rare? >> is that good? >> this is bailey. make him famous. >> i like the pocket square. that's sharp. can i give you a secret. dress for the job you want, not for the job you have. > i've got to take a plate
back. >> you're sure? >> yep. >> you're just doing it for the camera. we know. >> are you eating that? >> she's not actually working. >> this is not my place. >> you don't need to work the whole night. >> you've got jesse watters and dana perino, i mean, obviously. >> we're actually invited back. can you believe that? >> i can believe i'm invited back. i was helpful. i actually did the work. >> she was much better than i was. >> i did wait tables growing up. but i'm excited. if we go back as a show, it's going to be really fun. >> can greg wait tables? >> i'm going to dispense that highly original advice. i would say here's a piece of advice from me, dress for the job you want. i think he's probably already heard that. >> you should have told him about the hair.
you should have said get a hair style like mine. >> the bigger the hair, the bigger the paycheck. >> i've never seen a waiter butter the roll. >> it's hands-on service. when we bring you down there, you can butter the rolls as well. >> were you really massaging the kobe steaks? >> yes. >> i think we'll be better at it this year. >> i'll hang out at the bargain. >> let's look at the poll again. >> you're going to take us to the recording studio. el>> that will be fun. >> right? >> we'll have greg drink wine and he'll go into the recording studio and sing some country music greg gutfeld style. >> i'm going to write the songs that make the whole world smile. how come the guy had to tell you the bread's in the kitchen? >> i may have had a few drinks. i was confused where the kitchen was. >> it's no different than a regular taping of the five. >> up next, what happens when you let me, greg and juan loose
in a toy store. next on the five. no different n ♪ come let us adore him. ♪ oh, come let us adore him, christ, the lord. ♪ ♪ while you dwell within it ♪ you are ever happy there daddy, it's christmas! ♪ childhoods, joyland never let go of your dreams. the mercedes-benz winter event is back. lease the glc 300 for $459 a month at your local mercedes-benz dealer. mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
♪ all i want for christmas is you. ♪ you, baby. ♪ i won't ask for much this christmas. juan and i love that song. welcome back. it wouldn't be a five christmas eve special unless you were here and you " are, thank goodness ad if we didn't have toys. we sent jessie, juan and greg to the fao schwartz to check out the hottest holiday selections and what's the worst that can happen? let's find out. ♪ >> what are we doing here, jessie? >> i think we're going to play with some toys, greg. >> this is the typical cliche christmas segment every show does. >> are you going to be difficult? >> yes. this is where the show sends you to a toy store to play with toys
that other shows have already played with. >> holy crap, you guys. >> and what happened then? well, in new york they say greg's grinchy heart grew three sizes that day. >> this is what you're getting me, jessie. this is what you're getting me. >merry christmas, greg. >> how much is this? $800. >> you can do that. >> i can expense it. >> is this a winter wonderland? i don't know. >> when i go to a toy store for christmas, you know what i want? u i want glass cleaner and launy detergent. >> why don't you get on up? ♪ >> all right. >> that's my favorite. >> i have a request. can you make juan disappear? >> can you make jessie's hand stand on end?
>> take this in the palm of your hand, make a fifth fo -- make ar me. watch this go through the air and -- >> woah! you know why that works? he has very small hands. >> this robot dispenses candy. >> the biggest hershey bar you ever saw. >> what's over here? another robot. it's a glucotron-2. bo another robot. they're everywhere. they're coming to take our jobs. it's only a matter of time, america. >> the name of th the bear is doodoo. just so you know. it's very strange. ♪ >> merry christmas to all and to all a good night.
>> i loved it. >> isn't that nice? >> lou dobbs. >> lou dobbs, another priceless cameo from mr. dobbs. he makes everything a little better. >> you got him to be horrible and they have that giant unicorn. >> it was downhill from there. >> what i learned is it's good to be short. o en we walk into the toy store, the people who don't like jessie can see jessie because he's tall. but the people who don't like me or you, they can't see us. you weren't there. remember when you walked in and somebody went hey, jessie, and the wave and somebody else threatened you. >> southbound dropped the "f" bomb when i walked in. >> in a children's toy store. >> were you rummaging through people's pockets? >> why didn't you mount that unicorn. >> in, thought you meant like mount it, put it on the wall. >> i meant like climb up. >> $800 is a lot. it's a a pretty expensive store. >> not for you, dana. >> i wouldn't spend that.
>> they got you three of them. >> i can't wait for our secret santa. >> what are you looking forward to getting on christmas tomorrow? >> oh, -- well, we have a no gift pact but i kind of violated it because i sent to peter a link to a backpack purse that i wanted. >> a backpack purse. you don't look like somebody who would wear a backpack purse. >> remember my sparklying bag? >> it's kind of unbelievable we got to dance like they did in "big" on that piano. >> you had some moves, juan. >> they edited out the part that i did on the piano. >> did it require a mop and maintenance staff? >> i brought it down to a low level. >> i think it was nice they allowed us in. >>t that was nice. >> it's jam-packed. it's not the old fao schwartz. >> it was packed.
>> wew. got to cut in line. everybody in line was so happy to see us. it was like what are they doing. >> it's like the illegals, they cut right in front of everyone else. >> where's due process. >> we need process. >> maybe you should give them all $800 unicorns and it would make everything better. >> stay with us. there's much more to come on the five's christmas eve special, next. christmas eve special next. >> ♪ ♪ he can take the freeway down. ♪ .
>> ♪ ♪ toys in every store >> tune in tomorrow for our christmas day spectacular. we will answer holiday fan mail questions and a festive edition of jesse's supermarket showdown. >> this will be the dore. 1, 2. >> you didn't go to architecture school. >> that door goes up to the rooftop. >> it's for tall people. i could put greg gutfeld on my shoulders and still get in. >> a gingerbread house composition and secret santa gift exchange.
merry christmas and good night. >> ♪ >> ♪ ♪ jingle ♪ jingle bell ♪ jingle rock ♪ jingle time ♪ dancing and prancing? jingle bell square. >> merry christmas. >> merry christmas, everyone. >> ho, ho, ho, griffey. lisa: we have santa on the couch. griff: i'm not santa but we may have a visit from a real santa. todd: are you serious, clark? griff: i'm wearing the hat to get in the spirit. lisa: what's griff is on the naughty list? todd: 50%. ed to give grif