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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  September 1, 2019 2:00pm-3:00pm PDT

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this is a fox news alert. i'm laura ingall. hurricane dorian making landfall earlier this afternoon at the what -- at the bahamas. the hurricane is being called as a catastrophic category 5 storm with gusts peeking at 220 miles-an-hour -- peaking at 22 miles-an-hour. we are tracking dorian in the fox extreme weather center. we know these are life threatening winds. >> they certainly are. the storm is now moving so slowly that to be under that strong of wind for an extended period of time will just compound the impacts that we see from this. sustained winds at 185 miles-an-hour. and we still have the center of the storm moving over the aboca
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islands, right there, this is visible satellite image. it's what the satellite in the atmosphere looks down and sees the storm. so this is infrared, and you can see on this, with the track, just this little bit of a northwesterly jog, but it's back on its west track. also, the forward movement is down to 5 miles-an-hour. so it is slowing its forward momentum. that is probably an indication that the steering currents are beginning to break down a little bit and eventually it is going to make the right-hand turn. this is tomorrow 2:00 p.m., the official forecast continues to pull it very close to the freeport area and then this hard right turn begins to happen. still the east coast of florida needs to watch out. in fact, we have hurricane warnings i believe that have just been issued for parts of the eastern coast of florida. still watching this potentially make some sort of a landfall either in florida, possibly in georgia or up towards the carolinas later in this week. laura? >> just devastating to see these
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images and everyone needs to heed the warnings that we hear from you, our weather team and all officials. stay with us for continuing coverage of hurricane dorian. for now we go to gutfeld show already in progress. >> i believe for a long time and this report confirms it. mr. comey is a meat head. [laughter] >> give that a guy a show. you remember usa today, right? they published a survey this week claiming americans are facing the next election. liz warrant dancing? beto talking? another joe biden gasped? remember when i was president in candyland and my roommate take his rocket to spaceship?
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it's like he's a 10-year-old telling his dreams. this is dread of an election results they can't be interrupted. it could have influenced our outlook. >> the president is a foreign agent,. >> any of you still believe he could be on russian asset? >> i think it's possible. >> many of you are saying this is a day you will live and you've heard me. >> a symbol of america's protection died. [laughter] >> for three years, you had media creating hysteria with commentators pretending to be news leaders, correcting, it was all bs. it left us questioning whether any election results that you
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like will ever be accepted again. not because the russians might collude but because the media and democrats will collude and refuse results they hate. you would think the media would have learned after all this. >> he keeps turning up again and again. a short man comes from a he's the key that unlocks that door. >> those are good times. you would think they would move on but no. a play into acts. >> single source has told me that the terms document there show he has cosigners, that's how he was able to obtain those loans. the cosigners are russian
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oligarchs. >> i discussed information that wasn't rented for report. it said if true, as i discussed the information, was not good enough. i did not go through the rigorous verification process here at msnbc before repeating what i heard from my source. i should not have said it on air or posted it on twitter. i was wrong to do so. >> i'm no expert but i can say that wasn't it. [laughter] to his credit, he apologized. he still refuses to admit their role in collusion cap. it's an above ground sewer and they just keep dumping more on. there's nothing americans dread, it's the democrats. how will you say what's we dug
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up some pictures from bernie, joe and liz's childhood. [laughter] now voters are worried. me, too. every morning, rohit. think some of the candidates have an age problem? we couldn't agree more. they are way too young. shushing people at movie theaters, cutting clients at the buffet, turning the lights off in every room, giving the cashier when purchasing their socks. everyone shut up, they are not convinced. your grandpa strangled enough. call in sick after a bad night
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of sushi. you spent weekends in the bottomless front. great uncle still has moonshine in the bathtub. they sold it to the cops for a massive profit. the super candidates of america. [laughter] we love older people here. age isn't the biggest concern. the big problem is credibility. do we have confidence in any of these people? do we trust the media? these are the people who believe combing. he leaked phony info to the media and demanded an apology after leaking phony info to the media. in his head, he believed the report vindicated him. he sees himself rounding the bases after hitting a grand slam. when reality, he just crapped
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his pants. i know from experience. [laughter] it's no wonder americans are filled with dread. you don't have to be. you know what i dread? any medical procedure involving a tube. any new red hot chili peppers album. a child with sticky hands who want to hug. i dread being recognized at a bird. barr. i dread elevator conversations. monday to wednesday, it's so how was your weekend? wednesday to friday, it's so, do you have plans for the weekend? i dread when my shampoo gets ghost so low, i have to use hand soap which is what i normally drink when i run out of wine. there's nothing to dread about the election. if you like trump and he wins, you get for years. if he loses, you get eight to 12
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more years. you thank you will just retire and move to the villages? just get a slice of pumpkin bread at starbucks? no. whether he's in the white house or out, it's still his show. let's face it, we are all going to watch. [cheering] >> a puddle is her lake superior. if you're feeling sickly, it will heal you quickly. [applause] her favorite sport is fishing. or complements. jupiter is his yoga ball.
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[applause] dana, are you dreading the 2020 election? is a scary? >> no i love elections. i love america. i could see why there's a little dread because we've never stopped talking about the previous election. usually there's a bit of a low. 2019 not about politics, want to talk other things but this was what they are talking about. i don't think the democrats have actually driven a new cycle. the president does it for them. >> he has the media picking the stories. it's almost kind of brilliant. are you worried this might create a long-term psychological damage to this country? >> the damage is on me.
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we were sitting through that month after month. you don't think that affected us psychologically? what i dread is going back to that. it may not be the same story, it may be more of that nonsense, it's so devastatingly harmful. it's not good. >> it's like they don't even remember thanks at this. they blocked it out. do you dread anything? anything you don't dread? >> i need to say i completely disagree with your monologue. you were so wrong. biden is too old, trump is too old, everybody is too old. hear me out. we need daisy. [laughter] six months to a year, whenever they are able to communicate, they are out, you are in. they can't take my rights, they can't take my money.
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move to the white house. >> we need that in sacramento. >> the baby is a perfect libertarian candidate. >> have you ever delivered a baby fell? moved to the white house. >> you knew how to deliver a baby? >> yes. >> i'm sorry. >> are you dreading the election? >> i don't thank you dread anything. >> i dread dumb questions. >> to go back to this day, how many days have we had of infamy? how many, kiss your money, we are done. there's never an actual real
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problem. what are you dreading? what are we really dreading? if you have a pistol or job, you had get food. [laughter] you can live at your parents a long time. [laughter] there's no missile flying overhead. you know how to fight people anymore, you can just yell at them at social media, you can just yell at them or block them. >> it's so easy, a baby could do it. >> up next, preview of the next debate. or as i call it, three hours without marianne. [laughter] [applause] great riches will find you when liberty mutual
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the 2020 candidates. with the next debate put us in a comatose state? it's coming the second week of september.
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we've got the top ten on one stage for one night only for three hours. it will require a lot of lying. it's going to be a lot of boring. why? no marianne, the one who says the only interesting stuff on the debate stage. the most beautiful voice of ever heard. [laughter] told me, the one who's not afraid to go up punch into no kirsten, the villain everyone loves to hate. the mean girl dropped out this week. we may hear from marianne on debate night after all. she told me on my past cap podcast this week, she may rebuttal when it's over. get ready for three hours of pie in the sky, trumps evil, plenty of comes evil. what they could put this on a three hour loop. i'd watch.
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>> they are plotting an elderly man, that's psychotic. are you happy to see fewer candidates? >> yes. i will miss them but not much. >> you just get the highlights the next day. >> i will watch it because i'm a serious journalist. [laughter] one of these days, brad will watch. i am actually sad about kiersten leaving because i was starting to like her. at first, no but then she just kept telling me she was a mom. [laughter] she's a mom. come on, what more do we need to know? you're in. she's no ranch dressing, obviously.
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her kids are too old. i'm talking infant. she has plenty more time to drink more milk, i don't know. she strikes me as someone who sits on the floor. >> the happiest person, stuart smalley. nobody remembers stuart. he's at home in his boxers. he should enter the race. she's out, he's in. why am i here? [laughter] i should be running this country. [laughter] >> all he's got to do is get 2.1% and he's in. the barr is pretty low. deliberate, i'm sorry but i've had a lot of public speaking but i'm pretty sure if i was trying to promote something i would do,
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some is like excuse me, i need ranch, i would put my hand down and leave. it's a long time coming. somebody interrupted your speech for a condiment. [laughter] about leading the free world. i'm running for president -- ranch? [laughter] >> dry chicken? >> you were talking about you know what, this is dry chicken. that's what happened. that's like telling your woman how much you love her and can i borrow this? she's like no. [laughter] >> that's not how you're supposed to do it? >> i said this debate is like a
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tv show without a main character. cap the angels. >> at least when you had some character, but i do wonder if there's going a bit of sharper elbow, now they will hit the road. they've got 20 weeks until the vote and now they're going to be on the stage. they can't hide behind the others. >> would like a praying mantis. [laughter] >> i have very long arms. >> it's an interesting concept. watching these debates is like watching security cameras at the mall. biden gaps -- >> it's not funny to me anymore.
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maybe i don't know -- i think they need to release tiny bear cubs on stage and let them go and see how they react. or each candidate with a tickle collar on. >> i have no idea. i've never heard of that. >> tickle collar. you let it drink or control it. it tickles you -- >> by the way, we are teasing. it will probably change once i leave. [laughter] all money managers might seem the same, but some give their clients cookie cutter portfolios.
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seizures, new or worse heart or blood vessel problems, sleepwalking, or life-threatening allergic and skin reactions. decrease alcohol use. use caution driving or operating machinery. tell your doctor if you've had mental health problems. the most common side effect is nausea. quit smoking slow turkey. talk to your doctor about chantix. this is a fox news alert. hurricane dorian hammering the bahamas after making landfall there earlier this afternoon. i'm connell mcshane. the national hurricane center describing this massive hurricane as catastrophic. it's a category 5 storm. that means life-threatening conditions, and chief meteorologist rick reichmuth from the fox extreme weather center. what's the latest? >> the last advisory ri coming in from the national hurricane center winds still sustained at
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185 miles-an-hour gusting to 225 miles-an-hour. that's like an ef 4 or ef 5 tornado, except lasting for hours. and this is a look at the three hours of a satellite image loop. those are the islands in bahamas. you can see right now just under the center of that eye, and when you go towards the eyewall, that's where the worst of the winds are. that's where we've got those winds at that range, lasting for a very long time. some of these islands will probably never be the same. they have never seen anything like this before. it's also continues to move to the west but now at about 5 miles-an-hour, so it is moving at forward motion very very slowly. that means we will watch the winds across the bahamas probably for the better part of the next 24 hours before we think it will make the northerly track. i will tell you, hurricane-force winds extend out around 45 miles from the center, and that means wherever that turn happens, over towards florida, they are going to have some really big impacts and likely see hurricane conditions along the florida
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coast. exactly how close to the center and the strongest winds get there? still too early to determine. we need to prepare for the worst of it. connell? connell: yes, prepare for the worst, hope for the best which has been the situation. we will talk to you throughout the evening, rick. thanks. stay with fox news for continuing coverage of hurricane dorian. i'm connell mcshane in new york. i will be back with the "fox report" at the top of the hour. right now we rejoin the greg gutfeld show. >> they think the big apple treats them like crab pull. [laughter] bring to the 50 states in terms of friendliness, number one, the friendliest state, minnesota. people there have what's called minnesota nice as opposed to minnesota likes. got that one at a party. is defined as the stereotypical
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savior of locals to be courteous, reserved and mild-mannered while they dismember your body and feed it to the pigs. the least friendly state of course is new york which we all know isn't the case. right, my audience of new york? [cheering] new yorkers can be tough, little rice crafting but they know no nonsense. kind of like this guy. who's more new york than the sky? no wonder everyone think he's so mean and rude and crass. mind your sleep business bleeped my theory is that the antagonisr
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met a new yorker. new york is definitely the least friendly state. new york city is definitely the least from the city. that's why i like it. [laughter] have you ever been to another state to get in the uber and the drivers talk to you? there like how's your day? i'm like don't ask me an invasive question? i don't even know you. you have to take your vape out of your mouth. it's not conducive to my lifestyle. >> minnesota nicest, it's that accent. is this more about accent -- >> i think has a bit to do with pace of life and personal space. pace and space. in minnesota, you got a lot of space and you don't have to rush everywhere there's too many people and not enough space but i have adopted.
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>> i remember the person i met, they blew me off. was nice back then either. >> i think that's more than anything what this is. people are obnoxiously nice. so there's something about the middle of our country. maybe it's pace, maybe it's even urban environment. >> it's a coastal thing. it's in the water. [laughter] >> i don't know if it's the water but they have their own demeanor. i find wherever i go, people are very nice to me.
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[laughter] it's like get out of my way, oh hello, sir. [laughter] it's always them clutching their chest. [laughter] so i don't really experience the anger as much because i have a face that says i wish -- >> i wish one day i could inhabit your body. [laughter] >> that's weird. >> why are you repeating it? >> eight seconds. >> the little gray sac. [laughter] >> like a marsupial.
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[laughter] >> i don't ever want to hear from you again. change the subject. now new york is the most bleepe. >> i'm going to end this on -- i think drop is the walking embodiment of trash talk. he could turn on you at any minute. >> he tried to say about new york values, everyone knows what i'm talking about. comp was like oh yeah? then he went right back at him. and everyone's like, we've seen it. >> same dude. >> i tried. >> are not going there. i'm already in trouble. up next, mom versus the olive
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garden. who wins? anyone with breadsticks. do you have concerns about mild memory loss related to aging? prevagen is the number one pharmacist-recommended memory support brand. you can find it in the vitamin aisle in stores everywhere. prevagen. healthier brain. better life.
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there's nothing they won't do to cancel you. last week, a twitter mob went after olive garden. a tweet alleged that they donated to tom's campaign. the online outreach faded. after mr. cardin revealed even they donates the candidates. that didn't stop the mob. that means pizza in connecticut. connecticut senator, chris murphy was still progressive parts his hair even to the part far left. he refused to present dissipate
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participate on mine, so true. being outraged about everything is tiresome. if you think your suffering from outrage, fatigue, we've got just the thing. >> she slams taylor swift. he joined dancing with the stars. boring. trump said the greatest thing ever to happen to puerto rico. who cares? >> sounds like you are feeling fatigued. >> i can't get outraged anymore. >> try outraged fatigues. you find yourself unable to get angry, about stuff that doesn't affect you. organizing twitter mobs were shouting at people, they come with a super convenient aflac. >> fox knows braun in the
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reading. in-n-out burger donates to tru trump? matthew mcconaughey becomes a professor? >> how do you feel now? >> amazing. thanks outraged fatigue. >> get outraged fatigue today. they are 50% cotton and 50% nitroglycerin. [laughter] [applause] >> you get outraged on right about anything? all you do is post pictures of you working out. >> that's what i feel about instagram. my social media is to let you know i'm doing other things besides social media. if somebody is outraged on social media about me, that's just not real enough for me.
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if you're that upset, i'm literally not that hard to find. come find me, we'll figure it out. we talk about this, stalkers and people who hate you, don't worry about people who hate you because they don't have to find you. you should present hope is okay. these boycotts, six people will boycott your olive garden? [laughter] >> i think they'll survive. >> might get the companies to have a few days off? >> it gets us submissive. >> do your due diligence. when did outrage in those how dare you feelings become
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intolerable and something that was cool? that something like the aristocrats had. why a 22-year-old experiencing these emotions and have no real emotions? except, it allows them to give currency and social media. >> we've got a whole culture filled with that. it's bizarre. >> my theory is that if you're contemplating a boycott, your publicly revealing to everyone that there is a hole in your life. if you've got a fulfilling lif life -- >> if you don't want to go to olive garden anymore because if you think this might be true, you don't have to tell us, just make a personal decision. i think about the smaller businesses, though. like in connecticut. olive garden can afford to say
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you're ridiculous. a small business, i think if you're seeing this, whatever that cost us. [applause] >> that reminds me of the bakery next to the college, the bakery sued and got millions. you are always on the internet and always angry. >> i don't get offended, i don't think a lot of these people actually are offended, they just want to be cool. i can't imagine pretending to be appended to fit in with a bunch of other people pretending to be offended for the same reason. at the same time, is olive garden think taught me a lesson. i don't know if it's the right lesson but i learned someone just said olive garden joint
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with trump and everybody got hurt, i will just say all of my ex- boyfriends and everybody, huge trump donors. [laughter] [applause] >> that's a great idea. if you wake up in the morning and you are about to do that, it's actually a positive thing. it's like you have a winking problem. crab, there's something in my life missing maybe i better get a hobby or -- >> get your back out of the house. >> there was a problem with my salad, you ate the whole plate though, but sir, there's a problem. >> they did something way worse.
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they stopped tweeting back. [laughter] >> you work ghosted? [laughter] up next, do optimists live longer? 230 years old tomorrow. [music playing] (vo) this is jerry. jerry has a membership to this gym, but he's not using it. and he has subscriptions to a music service he doesn't listen to and five streaming video services he doesn't watch. this is jerry learning that he's still paying for this stuff he's not using. he's seeing his recurring payments in control tower in the wells fargo mobile app. this is jerry canceling a few things. booyah. this is jerry appreciating the people who made this possible. oh look, there they are. (team member) this is wells fargo. and i don't add trup the years.s. but what i do count on... is boost® delicious boost® high protein nutritional drink has 20 grams of protein,
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will you live longer if you're spear is stronger? my new study says optimists may live longer than pessimists. data from 70000 people over three decades, 30 years, cat. it showed a 10% increase in lifespan for optimistic men and 15% for women. that sounds sexist to me. when i get old, one thinks going to keep me going. [laughter] did everybody else see that? >> you should take your shirt off more often. >> anyway, we have an optimist and pessimist. >> you didn't call me that.
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you called me unrealistic pessimist at some time. >> realistic pessimist prepares for the worst. his happily surprised when it's better. >> okay. i try to look on the positive side of things. if not, it's going to feel like you live longer. if you're miserable, my life is lasting forever. [laughter] >> isn't ironic that woody allen is living long? he keeps thinking he's dying. >> the more pessimistic you are -- i don't know. we'll have to ask the expert here. >> we were talking about that footage and that all makes you pessimistic. there's always literature about people living longer with laughter, and enhances our immune function. so this is not surprising but that's why i said all that footage -- >> you have to actually kind of
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be your own curator of information. find crab, that will affect you. you may not know it's affecting you but if you keep taking in the crab, it will make you crappy. >> there was no question in there whatsoever. [laughter] i guess i got confused by this because every funeral i've ever been to, they talk about how optimistic the guy was, how much they love life. they are never like, he hated life. [laughter] he was miserable to be around and every accident i've ever seen is always like, i thought i would give it a try. it's always the one who's like, you coming to the house to climb mount everest? no. they stayed in so it's confusing to me. all the people who don't want to do anything, lived because they
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don't do anything. >> all the adventurers, instagram, they die. >> you see a miserable man hanging on a cliff, i'm so miserable, i want to die. [laughter] >> do you believe this study? >> sure. [laughter] why not? i'm a pessimist and some of you may have noticed. here's the thing, people think this is only good for optimists. i, as a pessimist, recognize the world is a cruel place, i'm not trying to live forever. you know what i mean? i don't need to be 103. what do you do when you are 103? you know what i mean? i'm asking. i'm sure people who are 103 are
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asking. >> 103 is like the new 83. >> the world is a cruel place, i am always cold. [laughter] >> there is a place called hell. >> i look forward to it. [laughter] that's so optimistic of you. i'm only optimistic about going to hell. [laughter] >> otherwise, new jersey. [laughter] i'm kidding. joking. [laughter] we are weeks away from monologues, live, begins september 14 in orlando. plus shows in omaha, jacksonville. still available. there's a company that's talked to even more real people
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a final thought. [laughter] >> so many thoughts in my head. [laughter] >> the only one i can say without getting in trouble, i will go with tyrus pod cast drops this weekend. check it out on itunes. [applause] >> and we've got concerts now. greg: you have a concert? >> yeah, we have one. do you have one? greg: no. >> i don't know if you were supposed to say that yet. >> i don't care. it is my thought. get your own thought. greg: screw your sponsors. thank you dana, doctor, kat, tyrus and the studio audience,
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i'm greg gutfeld. i love you, america. [cheers and applause] connell: there are two major stories that we're following at this hour. a gunman goes on a terrifying rampage in texas, killing seven, injuring nearly two dozen, including a 17 month old girl. meanwhile life threatening situation in the caribbean this hour. hurricane dorian unleashing a catastrophic blow in the bahamas as it angles for the united states. good evening, i'm connell mcshane filling in for jon scott. this is "the fox report". the state of texas continues to suffer tonight, fresh off its second mass shooting in just a matter of weeks. fox reports live from odessa, just moments from now. first, though, the latest on hurricane dorian. it's a storm that's shaping up to be dangerously historic a

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