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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  December 15, 2019 2:00pm-3:00pm PST

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they certainly want the pothole fixed but there's another issue. they don't know win because when because they are having so much fun with these trees. it's just great. i think thank you for watching every day. 's b5 give thousand of a thousand advertising immensity sounds like. i have anointed woody sing. no one ever says what you're saying either. [laughter] behold the first impeachment ever based on imagination. first look at the sad bunch. [laughter]. is like the last supper and wendy's. [laughter].
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join they could find a crime, they still thedy plot of the minority report. list up trump from doing stuff he hasn't done yet. because the stuff they had on him, was garbage. the dossier, the reptilian knows what it means. >> the dossier, is the fancy french term for a lot of cup. [laughter]. >> , love her. still the media gobbled up this dream based on broken gossip, fantasy design to get michael asmoore horny. remember putin hired hookers to defile a bed where obama once slept on the presence of evil donald trump read all that was missing was a second choice shaped like a bass guitar. [laughter]. still a million bought it because they wanted to. it is a dilemma for me. the media, like a person you know for making a disastrous decision, ignoring charlie
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charlie sheen. you want to see no no no don't do that. you realize this had his non- straight. mediate democrats you go for it. right at them. [laughter]. >> and now adam schiff. >> green from. you mean like today. >> and mud prints to and more i don't know, i don't do that. >> responsible, have you cheated on your taxes. >> no. >> thinking. if your apple i wouldn't thank you. back soon and you know i've dated a congressman before. >> and you never will. next. >> in the movies you like. smack alike to blow up balloons in my basement and then let the air out slowly. >> i like the older stuff like the beatles produced mckay never heard of them. we don't hear my favorite song. signature >> whistling. the balloon loving air out. [laughter].
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laughter. >> seventeen errors we're made in the process yet we are told there was a bias. but the errors all went in one direction, how is that unintentional. navy i didn't mean to rub that they predict the 17 mistakes i made along this way, you know slipping and falling into that ski mask. with my hand accidentally landing on the gun and then suddenly it went widely into the savings and loan and by pure chance, scribbling giving the her name you are going to die and leave. what are the odds of all of these best day like that in real. [laughter]. which is why nobody buys this cup. the impeachment satisfies the craving media, and keeps helping trump in key battleground states. what is that remind you of. the last election. remember of the media who devotedd hours to meshing from. the result, he won. and yet the media is doing it again with him and mocking trump
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while pretending this is some sham. and trump news numbers just go up. it's like the liaison in england, the rebuke of leftism, if they were smart, they would take that as a preview of what reflected in happened here. >> if you want anybody take thee drunk first. [laughter]. but our dams are not that smart. in the media sector stupidity of stupidity to not let the republicans off the hook. they also walked out of the hearing pricing to give the streets some credence. and this rate it was. one democrat said the impeachment vote was delayed because it was is it too late the tv audience. so how's delusional do you have to be to think this delusion for your idioticto part is to get me people to see your idiotic part. [laughter]. right adam. [laughter]. >> and now adam schiff. in meditation.
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>> i need to relax adam. [laughter]. [inaudible conversation] >> thank we've god, it is getting weirder and weirder. they tell you join the establishment media and establishment politicians are all trying to do the same think. the establishment is on attack in the sense it and it is, who thought the most radical your is the reality tv start with orange hair. [laughter]. why not let him explain it. >> on the only politician history that have actually kept more promises that he made. [laughter]. [laughter].
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we need too hear that again. on the only politician in history, that of actually kept more promises than i made. [laughter]. >> that makes absolutely no sense. but it is bleak brilliant. we sleep. [laughter]. and it's true. how you make the troop. [laughter]. has brought possible. some of the critics attack them from the more they prove him right. and right part join said politics is downstream so this rational reaction to from, is the political at all. it's cultural. once the media acted in payment complex, frightened. and impeachment is now the emotionally damaged back. what is like the harlem globetrotters, every game, you know how it e is going to unfol. [laughter]. you know the outcome. some watched closely following w the other clowns off of the
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cliff and engaging in an o actul abuse of power. the democrats found that they will keep impeachment till the very end. it's like the entire cliché about proof of insanity doing the same think over and over again it's part of getting the same dive boat result. we have a better definition. it is called listening to adam schiff. >> and now adam ship is trying out the new think. >> hey boss, merry christmas. sorry gretchen alexa. >> no thank you i'm allergic to chocolate. [laughter]. >> on the uno is gasket anything. >> has brought an at magic eight ball, you just talk to it. >> i like to order a pizza. [laughter]. >> no, you said it on the desk and speak. >> alexa, dispatch me some of. >> i'm sorry i can't help with that. smack excuse me, that's me some hot milk.
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>> duty, leap. >> what the heck is wrong with you. silence is good but i like it. [laughter]. >> me will come tonight news guest. he's no sharper uses head buried in my fan belt, charlie. [applause]. she is so bright, her brain gtually glows in the dark the new headlights 24/7 reporter carly jim. [applause]. fearless and had never barely spread get this. [applause]. he still doesn't know what a letter is.
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[applause]. charlie, how is this whole process going for you. >> just can't wait until, i love the idea of having a full impeachment hearing on the senate floor. in bringing donald trump down to ththe monster truck rally it wil be like, one of his rallies, combined with, it's going to be epic. the idea the democrats are so stupid, they actually think that this is going to be, the platform where he't excels the best. but one think i think it is important to remember, roll talking about a steel dossier now. one of the one who said this was a big deal. they are the ones who said it was a big deal.he in the once. and now. [applause]. they are talking like, where the mormons because we're still talking about it. no, you brought it up. [laughter]. you turned it into what it is.
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>> i am actually led down there was a pretty cake. i was told there would be a pretty cake. hbo, and something good. [laughter]. >> i like to disassociate myself from this. >> has brought wrong. >> thank you carly for defending me. it. >> i'm going to give him a pretty cake. >> carly, how they conducted themselves in the spring. >> it's inevitable that impeachment is going to happen. next question is how it is going to affect his reelection print i think the answered is that is not going to affect them at all. we t we're at this place where e we're promises major think. it's not going to happen. and as matter of fact, the polls the route, shows that he is exceeding in this week's dates itwi could be actually the opposite. >> i think it is fun but the surprise ending. it could be really enjoyable. that's where this is going to think. >> i don't know what you think.
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>> i think, that adam sandler, would've been way better than leonardo dicaprio and titanic. [laughter]. that's what i was thinking about this week. [laughter]. and every week. anna, a lot of energy. hey listen, i had a hard time, i watched but i couldn't all of it. yesterday, i know i shouldn't they see this but i work at fox news, but it did change the channel.ut and i watched "c-span2", join they were doing a vote on the nomination for wild live director. [laughter]. and i found myself finding that riveting. all of the eyes in the days, i actually google google it today to find that she was in fact, nominated. [laughter]. avidly great. and what's not interesting to me. it's not.
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i later watched the janitors and all of that. and you see all that stuff. i was like doing a great job out there. where's the elbowin grease. that is the kind of television that this is, i feel like it is my job that i'm supposed to be watching it. i watch as much as i could. if it we're my job i would wash none of it. >> the only goodf part was for the cup the reporters taking pictures of the paperwork on the desk. this is a finger motion you make me your taking pictures join -year-old. [laughter]. joe biden taking a pitcher. [laughter]. seventy-four years old. s[laughter]. [laughter] i know the impeachment think is cold but could you please show us what it pitcher of mike looks like. [laughter]. >> used to play bass guitar every saturday and 8:00 p.m. on fox. he also like this.
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remember. [laughter]. mike huckabee playing the base. >> itself but it t is close. it c-span. >> thank you. i asked for a pitcher like a monologue. [laughter]. >> i think with the democrats, the problem is who is doing the speaking. i think they need a special guest to come out and do the announcement. i think while the coyote would've been phenomenal. if he would've came out and said smoke will bite me, the impeachment, just one second, but what the deal with china was. oh canada and mexico traded guns, - >> fish and wildlife. [laughter]. >> space program good. this economy, jobs, etc. market. we could get her and roll out. literally, it is the worst yesterday was the worst day
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literally to drop in basement. he's literally going to use that in his introduction. rain and defending, two-term, impeached two articles,. [laughter]. president of the m world. he is literally going to be in the best part is going out to watch any of this you can watch it recap because the spoiler, mcconnell says, no. it makes mcconnell the spoiler. >> is going to barbecue crazy that they will do nothing. which is what i kinda do anyway. [laughter]. all right, we gotta movet on. back in a bit with more fun stuff. [applause].
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>> impeachment in the house his hands. >>
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and now with the great presents, the 2020. >> he is standing firm. on surfing both terms. joe biden, our politico, whatever that is. elected biden would not run for a second term. standing in for years he would be a hundred and 23 years old friend. [laughter]. hs yet malarkey joe, think so. and joe is all about no malarkey. and let's set the record
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straight. >> in your talk about one term pledge. smith i don't have any plans for one term. >>ea the queue. >> i'm. [laughter]. if i we're him, i would have any plans on one term either. [laughter]. all right, i am though waiting for the headline said biden is the whippersnapper from what he thinks is is it too old for a second term. whippersnapper. meanwhile the poll conducted by harvard i guess they need it some help, shows biden still in the back. and for some reason they asked whatat hillary, and john kerry t in the race. went and climbed to the top with 21 percent edging up and by 20. in john kerry clocked in at 5 percent and he's been a cryogenic freezer for ten years. [laughter]. the think to know, neither of them are running. the poll was conducted on lies andit i had to do hundred 50 push-ups.
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[laughter]. but it doesn't evenn matter because whoever gets the nomination, what happened to face this. >> biden thinks he's in ohio ohio. it's great to be in all in iowa tonight. he's ine pennsylvania, it is wonderful to be the state of delaware. [laughter]. what is wrong with this guy. crazy elisabeth warren, or as i affectionately call her, pocahontas. [laughter]. pc beaver deal, using the deal. charlie is great to see you, we doing here. that's her husband. [laughter]. can i get aer beer. she was to be one of the group. that's good here. as such often newman was running. he's like the sky, and buddha chest,. [laughter]. can you believe is doing well. he's like the leading fundraiser. dream about him. [laughter]. all right,.
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greg: he was stealing our joy. [laughter]. he watches the show. it's a good show. >> finally president trump retweet. >> next time i hear you, will the president uses my jokes. [laughter]. >> i think that was a message and besides the fact that hillary news not even in and she still winning. [laughter]. besides the fact, early shirt mr. biden knew what he meant when he said term. [laughter]. because it sounded like he needs two bowls of i soup if he wanted to. i'm editing there yet. running in a thorough start yet. [laughter]. he does good and they just had his pitcher and statement. he does well thatpi way. a pitcher in a statement. it's always on.and it's phenomenal. it's like the wizard of oz, just have him come out and wave and committed have a bigig screen ad see what you want him to see.
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and don't let them have a microphone. but this is the lesson anybody there was thinking about running for a democrat. do not, that is what of your live. [laughter]. don't want you to have to go through that pretty could eighth me to run for the democratic party. greg: what you think carly. >> this poll, this hillary clinton poll, has got to grantor much.o you know she wants to run so badly. at this., it's hard to believe llshe will. the democrats have several problems and is thehe first ones that joe biden isn't that strong of a candidate as we thought he was going to be. the second problem is elisabeth warren is britney sanders, are socials. and then there is people just, who i think actually, give president trump run for the her name if democrat would let him. but they do this think where they eat their own. and invoke hiding his camping out because he is holding high dollar fund raisers.
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there's just this weird think they do for the track and tear their own down. they don't subscribe to the exact set of rules that they have laid out for what they think is the perfect candidate critics. >> they are cannibals. so what they are cannibals, that is what they are. >> okay cat i will wait. [laughter]. bangmac i'm really proud of you for doing that nomination no pray. [laughter]. if i we're a democrat i would look at this one term think and be pretty freaked out. because he's a top guy. and his advisors staying m okayi think to get more support, but we need to do is assure people. [laughter]. if you are la., the way you sell yourself to people is there will be less of me, don't worry about it. [laughter]. that is not good. greg: charlie, the great think is if
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joe decides to runun for one te, and you get from running again. [laughter]. >> in all fairness, trump does deserve another first term. and so, the way i see it is when he gets reelected. [applause]. that is the beginning of his first term. and thenin obviously, he'll geta second term after that. greg: that's true. >>. carly: democrats said they would consider that again. >> i literally would like to be impeached. i think. i would like for the art for articles please pray. [laughter]. i will walk around the teacher like this. it. carly: i would mind. the assumptions. >> and talking about me again for next month. [laughter]. there is only been for impeachment). greg: is another think that drives me crazy about joe biden, joe
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biden, is just like donald trump. he just this stuff. he doesn't. there is noto comparison between the two. except they both see thanks they don't expect. the fact joe bidenhe see stuff d it is just the stupid stuff on earth. it makes no sense. and then donald trump, his be down talking about joe biden are all of them, newman, is just absolutely brutally hilarious. this is was so refreshing about him. he's talking about joe biden but he's in the wrong state. in delaware. it was really funny about that. is if anybody is watching this, nobody everybody no one ever campaigns in delaware pray. [laughter]. and donald trump is just like beating down joe biden. my impression of joe biden is of a ten -year-old in the morning telling the dream he had. >> [laughter]. >> i flew there. it barack obama -
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[laughter]. we will be right back. [laughter]. [applause]. stand with his people israel
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we chose eleanor. it was great-grandma's name. so we're in this little town near salerno and everyone has dad's eyebrows. help your family discover their unique story, with a gift from ancestry. greg:live from american headqua, i am john scott. washington is bracing for what could be a historic week for the nation. on wednesday. , is expected to vote to impeach president trump. thanking him only the third president in u.s. history to be impeached. mr. trump stands accused by the
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house judiciary committee abuse of power and obstruction of congress or republican lawmakers denounced the integrity of the impeachment process. ascendant trial is planned for january. >> former fbi director james comey now admits he was wrong to have been overconfident about how the russian investigation was handled. his admission comes after justice department inspector general report identified real sloppiness in the surveillance of a former trump campaign aide. becoming says he feels some measure of indication because the report also finds investigation was open for a valid reason. i am john scott, see you at the top of the hour the fox report. greg: it's what's causing our society the most anxiety. a lot of things are causing us stress these days. the o holidays and the job, ryan kill me,. [laughter]. but that's just me. that is just me.
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the stupid backpack. over 70 percent of americans, and the politics since making a mix right now. more than work, more than financial matters, or more ridiculous m absence. [laughter]. or anything else in effect your real live. politics is what stressing him out the most. but politics, people take out to be trump. i don't know but maybe the poll survey, 2000 americans probably all enjoyed baylor. [laughter]. so is watching, mistress or the impeachment or trump or whatever. enjoymp this. moment of ♪ ♪. betty looks great in jeans, oh yeah, here's a president for your eyes. oh yes, oh no, yes. [laughter]. [applause]. greg: i feel better already.
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if a great than here, really impeccable. [laughter]. cat what stresses you out is politics socio. >> the study, it is sometimes but also kind of a job. but the study, is pathetic and crazy. actually great. it means that eight out of ten americans don't have a real problem. like i'm not staying that politics is an important. and that it doesn't affect us. obviously does. but what i am stayingus is, if u even know what is going on in the news, it is like congratulations. it sounds like you don't live in a fox. [laughter]. sounds like you are not buying him a terrible disease neither is anyone close to you. because if you are not up on politics, like being informed. relax. i love that you mentioned ryan kill me. because i think it is so funny he walks around the building anymore the backpack.
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everybody, he wears a great soup. he looks like he has always is the place to go. maybe as a snack pack in there. [laughter]. like is the most juvenile think. but it's professional serious man to haveik it. greg: he looks like the nerdiest high school student. [laughter]. is always walking around with his backpack. it was lucky seven years old. maybe he's curing certain medical supplies. >> about this quizic though, is that how people think that tpolitics is the most stressful think. i do not think that is true. you don't think people are that politically in tune worried everything was quizzes where people are like who are these people like a pitcher like chuck schumer. i have see that because they want t to sound like they are there but they are really not. greg: put it but you charlie, we make
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of this h cup. if i can call it that. >> yes you can. [laughter]. on the serious side of this though is we do look at democrat voters who don't like donald trump and some of them are not looking up from the network news style or whatever the leaders in the democratic party have done the lying torms of them. going to get rid of these guys and he's committed all of these offenses. you like to from adam shift and promised things of consequences that they have learned to expect. they think this is going to end differently. and it causes people to become delusional. they lose their freaking minds. and they're trying to take themselves seriously and nancy pelosi, she is nuts.
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[laughter]. you are talking about what i call the coal tar pitch fork. many academic entertainment, and is now being saturated social media. it's not like things are bothering you. but this fork is coming at you. and telling you how awful cup is. it's on politics. speak of a woman was carrying and comparing trump to pray not even hitler, the devil. [laughter]. >> i'm not making that. it's like a mean devil. greg: they are similarly colored. i'm a password to you. >> okay great, can we put the think up real quick, the sham of the poll. does anybody notice at the bottom, the only honest people - they were their own conscious.
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rthe rest of them are a bunch f lying cowards. [laughter]. in the most stressful person in the first have to share a bed with an sheer your her name with, and they start you out all of the time. the stress you out all the time. [laughter]. [applause]. 37 percent. but you know what, the ones that took the survey, what else are legal going to shake. politics. [laughter]. [laughter]. greg: oh my gosh, that is so, true. i go i agree completely with that. >> i disagree with that. [laughter]. greg: alright, government government, more after this. think of verizon as a reliable phone company. but to businesses, we're a reliable partner. we keep companies ready for what's next. (man) we weave security into their business. (second man) virtualize their operations. (woman) and build ai customer experiences. (second woman) we also keep them ready for the next big opportunity.
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either party vendors sweater showing santa claus at a table with what appears to be lines of cocaine. i wouldn't know i've never denigrated to know what cocaine was like really can't stress that enough. it is brown, and is her name right. anyway, in the product description seems to reference the drug to. but we all know how snow works. it is white powdery in the snow come straight from south america. i understand it. this winter has since been taken down from or more news website. thankfully amazon picked up theb sweater and they are la like hot cakes. [laughter]. they are made of cocaine. oddly, walmart is still la this. [inaudible conversation]
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anyway, that is to thinking, why stop with santa. what about the easter bunny. all hopped up on something hot. popped up, you get it kids. that how about that little leprechaun, st. patrick's day right. and i am blarney stone. what else would make you see a pot of gold att the end of a rainbow printed a little chunky. all right, untangled bit is it too hard. i went to a dark place there. carly, what you make of the story. this is the huge scandal because walmart needs to be sued. out of existence. speak up only to speak up for all of the '90s moms out there. in handmade, they are business ugly christmas letters sweaters before they were called ugly christmas letters the kids would make fun of them for print they were true visionaries because now they are a multi- near
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millie beltran. [applause]. i see simeonti you in the audiee with beautiful christmas sweaters printed. greg: my mom made like 20 christmas letters. we call them up sweaters. she was onwa koch join she was making them focus sweaters printed 320 sweaters, over a period of a week, santa isn't going to do. the reference to everybody at home gets pretty >> i don't have a problem for a sweater if it fits for kids. [laughter]. [laughter]. come on, join i see adult wearing sweaters, come on. with cartoon characters on it. i find it very disturbing. but this is america. like every time parents for neglecting their kids, during like a seven day net better in a walmart parking
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lot. the woman is always wearing a tweedy bird undershirt. ann is dirty. and they look like this super hero people in times square. they walkk around and there is only people. it's okay for children, but it insults need to stop wearing cartoon characters. greg: i think you agree with them about cans and cocaine. it's okay to wear the coax letter. [laughter]. >> you know you that i like you) but i'm going to tell you that i strongly disagree. with my kids running into christmas morning with a cocaine sweater on. [laughter]. i don't think you quite got the scope of the sweater. this note man, which is another reference for cocaine, as three lines of cocaine and it was likely to blow. [laughter]. i don't think you want the children to have it on.
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i think this is the one sweater, that i would prefer you would have an 18 -year-old wearing. this sweater is literally right up there with somebody giving you a pile of dung in your santa gift. carly: as we discussed in the podcast. greg: how do you expect santa to deliver all this gives them one day. [laughter]. carly: everyone likes a joke. >> benigni came in on it. carly: cocaine on the sleigh ride delivering gifts. but that back up there. put it up somebody please put them back up there. it looks like he's on a slate to doesn't look like that? is it well. he is alone. he doesn't even have any trends
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over. is it late drug addiction okay. i'm very concerned with that. you know what else, it also comes down to is dangerous. greg: be back it's also evil because his little hands are long enough. [laughter]. he can't get to it. >> the manyo is totally passed t on the floor. and santa is eating his arm. as soon santa would be the gingerbread man. okay this is where it's an irony and it's hard understand the world. like this the irony because physical sweater nations of the christmas party where the kids are. carly: charlie says it is affordable. bangmac is this funny. the parasite we could bill he is wondering why santa is in front of these white lines. pictures they never think about that for which is why they should be rescued and killed.
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[laughter]. really i joke. doing. my favorite stories next. [laughter]. [applause].
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greg: fitbit is the bit. you knoweg that competing man, that is designed to track activity. get rid of it. reporter jean slater, chair of the story on. so obviously it's real. and there boyfriend synced up. he hated it join i accounted him join his activity levels we're spiky of rem. >> if it we're smart, fitbit takes destructive yurt steps in him. i'll give the guy the benefit of the doubt. maybe he was doing this at 4:00 a.m. t [laughter]. [background sounds]
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greg: they said is considered cheating. really weird culture. [laughter]. he could've been running at nightrdrd charlie from bed to b. [laughter]. >> technology ruins everything. the fact it does. carly: on the cheer side. >> the droids all around us. these bones, and they are spying on us. they're reporting back to somebody. it's all bad. it's all terrible. greg: how do you think i sleep in the park greeted. >> i really don't want to know would you do the bar. you and mike huckabee news. [laughter]. i can only imagine printed have super herore a outfit in times where printed. greg: you what, you know. because i would also wear a mask.
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save me from this weird person. >> you a hundred percent that sure if that is a accurate story prints. greg: normally don't read the stories on twitter where the political prisoners liberty talks about how precocious the child is pretty little gubelli says, but as evil donald trump in the office. in the kit it was when he said that. [laughter]. so don't know whether to believe it. >> going to fix it. i want to know. greg: the only solution is to have all day so it never changes. [laughter]. so is as well he is over exercising. >> i'm terrified, i'm going to take mine off. >> we're my fitbit for the day.
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greg: cat is the story real. b2 she sorta suggested that that the guy admitted it. literally they never had met it. that would be so bad. i would be just thinking how much i love you. and it was so much overwhelming than i had to get up and do some jumping jacks to calm down. for the morning. i would see guys, join i cut them cheating, they lied join they were even so clearly caught. literally using another girl posted, and will post all cuddly and just in case it was lincoln fusion, captain said, my boyfriend, love youou babe. so join i him out on it, he said to me i thought you might get the wrong idea. [laughter]. and i was like, other things she
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is my girlfriend. and she is really crazy so don't tell her bird so i just let her do this. another post and mother think she's my girlfriend. >> clearly i am neighbors and separated i get caught with all the time like this. carly: it was a happy ending. >> angry with carly, this is such a big c brother tech story. but that doesn't bother me personally because my live is truly so boring that if any tech employee we're to monitor me it would be like, this girl gets up at 6:00 p.m. every night. greg: is one answered, just don't wear a fitbit. mike: taken off and and put on the manikin. or female. all right, don't go anywhere. [laughter].
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greg: at a time, thanks to charlie. our studio audience, i love you america. [applause]. >> do or die moment, the impeachments expected to only, this would make president trump only the third president in u.s. history to be at peace. good evening, this is the fox report. >> to the white house not giving an inch to democrats going to be in green a hoax. democratic leadership says congress must defend the constitution at all costs. but even moderate republicans don't sound convinced. >> are you confident you have the majority to increase the president. >> i am confident. i don't think anyone is, this is


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