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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  February 22, 2022 8:00pm-9:00pm PST

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and the baby was delivered in room 2. is that the coolest birth time and date ever? yes, it is. everybody. go to and get the great freedom mandate and freedom matters cure all for great charities and remember, "gutfeld!" is next. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> greg: delicious vodka. glorious, glorious, yes. all right. happy glorious tuesday. all right. our second night in dallas.
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even better so far than the first. and it's not because kat finally paid or that tyra shaved my back, i want to thank you for that, by the way. >> i will scan you later. >> greg: we have a great crew tonight. lara trump is here. from the mask foul mask less republic of florida. why would anyone want to cover that fits? i understand you wanting to mask up, but not her. and jamie lasalle has joined us from anchorage. he can't see russia from his house in alaska because his wife got it in the divorce. so mean. i feel even bad making that joke.
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>> that was a fresh one. >> greg: tyrus is with us. we went out to dinner last night to celebrate his birthday. he when he blew out the candles, everyone in the restaurant got third-degree burns. how do you laugh at the suffering of others. speaking of, lots of curtsy stuff going around in the world and really, it is not fair to president biden or the democrats for that matter. you see, after trump, things were supposed to get really easy, right? the only thing the democrats had to do was make sure that trump was out of the picture. that everything was going to be all right. it was going to be rainbows and daffodils and sunshine and unicorns. i think i'm describing the sheets on beto o'rourke's beds. not that i would know. it was supposed to be a return to normalcy. if you think it is normal to sniff children's hair?
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they didn't have to do anything, something they are usually great at. imagine the surprise when trump left and massive problems arise that didn't exist when trump was around. and i'm not just talking about joe's word salad or pete buttigieg getting knocked up. he is going to be a great mom. we are talking the biggest inflation in 40 years, the highest crime since the 70s, and not the 1970s, the 1570s. i just saw a guy hold up a cvs with a crossbow. if they start burning witches, we will never see nancy pelosi again. and now like joe's diaper rash, bad stuff is breaking out all over. in ukraine, putin moved his
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troops into the donetsk people's republic of china like a ben & jerry's flavor. donetsk. here is a reaction on a russian political show we call "beats the press." [speaking non-english language] it's like a smarter version of the view. i know we should be concerned, but i would be lying if i knew what the hell is going on. i am married to a russian and i know nothing. she is not even sure. i asked her, what is going on in ukraine? and she says, very pretty bird. all right. anyway, i asked my wife about
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ukraine, she does not know anything. i say why don't you know anything. she's as minor in business. then she moved her tense into our spare bedroom. and declared it people's republic of china do your own laundry. one thing i know, i don't trust anyone who claims ten know what is going on what to do, especially mr. magoo at 1600 pennsylvania avenue. i also don't trust anyone who cites territories like don bath as if they knew what was an hour ago. it's like the people who watches the earlier airings of "jeopardy" and pretends to know the answers. tyrus. that is cable news and network news. give me one article and suddenly there like they are the experts. they would learn more about kyiv on the food network. russia took crimea when obama was president and now occupies ukraine with joe in charge.
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putin hopes kamla wins in 2024 so he can take pittsburgh. when trump was president, putin did none of this. and it makes me wonder if this is causing anyone at cnn to reconsider their belief that donald trump was under the thumb of russia. i doubt it. they are too busy with brian stelter's hourly feedings. it is so cute when they throw the fish in the air and he catches them. who knew you could train him? but we were promised so many things, right? this biden classic. >> putin knows if i am president of the united states, his days of tyranny and trying to intimidate united states is over. i'm going to stand up to him. he is a bully. >> greg: okay, cruise ship breeder. that aged about as well as
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pelosi's last eyebrow left. remember the good old days when we didn't know what joe was saying but it didn't matter? now it does matter, and joe does not know what the hell he is saying. the fact is, ukraine sucks, but it is not of crisis plaguing america. people are , the border. and i mean canada is. we should roll our tanks in and liberate ottawa. i didn't know. we could make them part of the people's republic of china vermont. one nation under maple syrup. that's right. i use it on my skin for youthful glow. and if there is any left over, jesse watters buys it from me and uses it here or jail.
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let's not forget the border down south. if there were any leak here, it would be joe's. that may be bite and wants to focus on ukraine because he realizes he can't do a worse job with that country than you can with ours. although by sending kamla there, he is sure making a run for it. i would call her a disaster but that would be an insult to the galveston hurricane of 1900. let's take a moment to understand the significance of what we are talking about. >> let's really take a moment to understand the significance of what we are talking about. for over 70 years. and through the 70 years, as i mentioned yesterday, there has been peace and security. we are talking about the real possibility of war in europe. >> greg: yeah. i had no problem sending kamla to a war zone for the problem is, they sending her back. i kid.
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it is no wonder the dems are predicted to blow out the midterms. all of the lies -- and dystopian tales where crime rises, inflation explodes, and somehow, we end up in war. all of the things that we said would happen under trump, these people are more wrong than a shirtless selfie of geraldo. yeah. i wanted to wet your whistle without one. delicious. but i guess that is trump's fault, too, right? how soon before the dems say that. it is not our fault. you guys should not have led us to cheat. next time we will let you guys count the votes. i wonder what joe has to say about that. >> no, look. i am not flying around. putin knows i am serious. i am not playing russian
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roulette. the game where they spin the wheel and you have to take off her close. i don't do that. he takes his shirt off, not me. and we are one for one, me and him. he got crimea, i got the corn pop who is talking now? >> greg: let's welcome tonight's guests. she's so buff, beto o'rourke promised to take her guns. fox news contributor, lara trump. this alaskans act put audiences into hibernation. actor, writer, and comedian, jamie lewis powell. you know, because her grandparents are in the audience, i won't mention her debilitating drug habits or crippling alcoholism.
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fox news contributor, kat timpf. and finally, they open the roof at at&t stadium to give him headroom. my massive sidekick and the nwa world television champion, tyrus. so, lara, let's talk about your father-in-law. he was supposed to cause all of these things and it didn't happen and now biden is doing and they are trying to find a way to blame trump. >> they try every turn possible but i think we know that when donald trump was in office, we were respected around the world. believe me, vladimir putin would not be trying to mess with donald trump. we were having trade talks with china, we had agreement signed all across the world. we were respected. all of it under president donald trump. but you are right. everything they said donald trump would do, joe biden
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is doing. so a lot of biden remorse out there but isn't it funny, 81 million people have never been this quiet. >> greg: where are they, by the way? >> shocking. >> greg: if biden is doing what the accused trump above, they should try to pretend it is trump's second term. that almost made sense if you are really high, jamie. my big concern is if ukraine falls, where is hunter going to get his next job? >> by the way, that thing you just said, make sense to me. i am very high. there is so much to dissect of the tv show. i feel for that guy. i was just on your show the other day with kellyanne conway. i know what that is like. >> greg: she took you apart.
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>> she did. did you notice the interpreter in the corner of the video where they were fighting? she just doesn't know what to do. just politely sitting there and i was like i wish i knew sign language that was the interpreter. i would have been like, -- it would've been amazing. but the video biden, you said it, it does not age well at all. i was thinking, what does? no it mean? biden doesn't age well appeared that didn't age well. i looked how up how old biden is ended tombstone tombstone came up. it's like really old. and then i also thought in the article about russia and the ukraine, they said russia went into your brain with peacekeeping forces. i was like i don't know if that is the language, men peer that is like my wife when she came at me with those helping lawyers. for the divorce papers. then i go to my friend, you guys, i lost all my money.
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don't worry about it. you are aging well. >> greg: it is so true. you really are. i am amazed, kat. watching the news today, the people that were experts in afghanistan seven months ago are now suddenly experts on ukraine and the pretend like they know something. i will not pretend. my wife was born in ukraine. she grew up in moscow. this is not the first -- this is the first time i've heard of any of those territories. i'm not going to pretend what i am talking -- >> i'm not an expert. if i delete troops into battle, i would probably accidentally invade the wrong country. but as a human, someone who is not -- as someone who is family in the military married to someone who served in afghanistan and he would be upset about what happened there, i am very bothered by people having a cavalier attitude about oh, may be another war. like because the people that
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make those decisions and call for war, they are not the people who it affects the most. >> greg: right. tyrus, how are you? >> phenomenal. just so you know, you have two strikes. >> greg: did you enjoy your birthday? >> i had a blast. >> greg: that's good. there is a feeling, i think, that biden might just be overmatched. and this was a guy who had like five decades of foreign policy experience or something. and then everybody is reminded that he never got anything right. >> no, he might have fluffed his resume just a's coach he i barely got geography but i know hustle. he gets into office in the first thing the progressives do is they end everything trumpian in
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the canceled one pipeline. enough supply is zero. 35% other guests and they made roughly a billion dollars per day. so before trump went out, they were economically strapped for cash. so you just gave somebody a billion dollars per day and all of a sudden they start buying more tanks and planes and missiles. and it never once occurred to you that maybe we should do something about sleds. under president trump, we were the police of the world and we had an iron fist and we had a really big gun. and everybody was afraid of that big gun because the former president also likes big bombs. you go big or you go home and that is how we did in the world paid attention. biden got in and suddenly it would became english policeman where we yell stop or i will yell stop again. he is going to invade.
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it is the beginning of an invasion. it's kind of an invasion. it is over. stop. >> greg: he was supposed to make america better. or what was his phrase. it was -- i can't remember what it is. build back better. he was supposed to make the country better but when you think about gas, he reminds me of me, how i treated my parents car when i got her driver's license. you just run the country into the ground and i didn't know you were supposed to put oil in a car. and he forgot we have to be energy and oil independent. do you see how i wrap that up? that is why i am sitting here, people. up next, does disdain for working moms give this big haired leader columns
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♪ ♪ >> greg: is there really any hope for justin trudope. canadians are feeling sorry because they are p.m. stinks like week-old calamari. a single mother working a minimum wage job has been locked out of her bank account for illegally donating to the freedom convoy protesters. parliament member mark strohl shared the story on twitter. he said she has ohmic has not participated in the protest other than donation which was legal at the time. although it was weird canadian money. if true, that would be counter to what the canadian government said would happen when they passed the emergencies act. the only active members of the truck on point with the sanctions. that's what happens when you have no bill of rights and a
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prime minister with hair like one of the "charlie's angels." at this point, the ottawa protests have been cleared. but for this boy band reject, the damage might be done. our recent poll found that voters support for canada's conservative party has jumped ten-point of the last month. i haven't seen a jump that big since michael jordan saw a spider. it's like a children's joke. and we have inspector trudeau to thank for that. thankfully would've my staff actually caught up with him earlier today. >> i am justin trudeau. you may not recognize me without the black phase. we desperately -- i suspended freedom but at least the protesters can't honk their horns. critics say i stole my ideas from china, but we canadians
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know that putting cheese and gravy on fries was our idea. >> greg: he really nailed it. and he definitely has put on a lot of weight. i think the stress. janie, the stress from this convoy, he is definitely chowing a lot of putin. that what it is called? it sounds so but it is just gravy on french fries. he is always accusing people of being fascist but they are better added. they relish the authoritarian instinct. >> it's funny when something like when the women donated the $50, it is hard to sometimes relate to what exactly is going on, the braver it takes to stop your truck and lose all your money. someone summon donate something like that is illegal, it is [bleep]. it is infuriating.
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i actually wrote down say that and they will probably clap. isn't it hard -- i don't understand it. i spend a lot of time in canada i've worked in ottawa so many times. this is hard to comprehend. they are so nice. i saw an ohmic canadian get in a fight and this dude got punched in the face and he was like sorry my face was there. that's my bad. is your hand okay? i apologize. but they are tough people. on the back of a package of canadian cigarettes there's like a disease if it could happen to you but there's like a black lung. and canadians, don't care. there like you want one of my cigarettes, i don't smoke black lungs anymore. i switched over to exploding hard. but at least, thank goodness, the horses that are stopping people, peacekeeping horses -- >> greg: they went after our
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horses on the border down south but there is are okay. harris , this is why i no longer donate to charity. i don't want my accounts frozen. >> you can't believe he ever donated to charity. are you appliance? did he put you in here? are you from ukraine? as horrible as it is to do something like that to a single mom who is just getting by, the fact that she was even able to donate $50 is a pretty selfless thing. so think about that, gutfeld. but often times in history, it is the small people that make the change. >> greg: oh, thank you. >> no. yes, you are the very definition of small people, but in this case, no. but it will be this, her
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picture, her face. this is a rosa parks -- >> greg: lara, i was being told that this is all the canadians hated the truckers. how do they explain a ten-point increase among conservatives. >> it is shocking. you -- >> greg: i know. >> they are not telling us because, are they? of course. but the reality is, this whole thing is people. they were blocking the road and people couldn't get the things i need but this is the definition of a peaceful protest. and then to see what was done, to take away their money, take away their fuel, take them out. it was kind of like gestapo-like force that justin trudeau sent in there. absolutely unbelievable. he would not even bother to sit
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down with these truckers and hear them out and they weren't just doing it for themselves. they were doing it for every canadian, every american, every australian. every person. that has felt like our rights have been taken away. guess what? people are paying attention. there is a convoy going to washington, d.c. see what they do. >> greg: all right, kat. this is where i'm going to be a hypocrite. i don't want them to come to d.c. i don't want my traffic screwed up. i love it when it is in canada, but i have to get to work. >> well this shouldn't have to happen. as far as i understand it, i don't know a lot about canada, canada, i do know it is real, the national emergency powers are supposed to be like for national emergencies. this is not what happens here. i have done far worse things for
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$50. >> believe me. >> sorry, grandmom. but i don't think those were emergencies either. it's very hard to create a national emergency for $50 even if you're talking about canada. these are people who are like i would like to own my own body, please. and there like now you get to own your own money either. >> greg: it's true. it's about body economy when you're talking about the vaccines and then they take your money. what's left? your body, your money, that is all i have. up next, is hillary fair game or is obsession to blame [clapping] “we will rock you” by queen ♪ the new gmc sierra with hands-free driving
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a reason for covering the clinton campaign's treason. cnn -- a new article on claims that arrangement system is behind people not liking her. it's true. if you come into really close contact with hillary, you have to sleep with an intern. according to alleging communion dean, the symptoms of this persistent element include an unhealthy obsession with the former secretary of state. from spreading lies about her past actions to blaming from foul her -- which alleges that the clinton campaign spotted on trunk before and after he was president. anyone who reported on the scandal suffers from hcf, of course this condition could also go away if hillary would finally
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waddle off into the sunset instead of sticking around like a late case of polio. so, kat, i resent this because it is not like we want to talk about her. she is in the news, we have to do it. >> we wouldn't be talking about her if cnn did not publish this article. >> greg: exactly. >> it has the energy of when someone is blowing up your phone telling you how much they never want to talk to you again. you are on your 17th paragraph and still going. we had that conversation. i am sick of talking about hillary clinton but if she is in the news, we have to talk about it because i watch the news. >> greg: tyrus, when we talked about it, it is funny and fun. we are not obsessed over everything. we just want to make fun of people. >> i mean, a little bit.
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it's just weird to me because if you go away, no one says anything. and you stay away, no one says anything. you come back, people go oh, why are you back? why are you doing this? go away. nobody wants you. we have and like you since obama ran against you. that is not an obsession. that is honesty. telling somebody. >> greg: what kills me it was cnn, lara, who has actual diagnosed obsessive-compulsive disorder about your father-in-law. >> they have trumped arrangement system. that is a real one, by the way. trying to steal our diseases over here at cnn. i know this is a test so y'all understand when i say bless their hearts over at cnn. but the good news is that if their viewership is any indication, the tens of people that actually read this article
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with think that we are all obsessed with hillary clinton. but to tyrus' point, one thing that hillary came back on had to read her suppose of victory speech crying on tv, no one on the right forced her to go do that. give us a break. >> no one ever calls up the guy who loses and says can you read this to everybody? >> greg: that's a great idea. do a book that is an anthology of loser speeches. jamie, i don't have a question related to that. but you know what is interesting, the comparison between trumped arrangement and hillary to arrangement the trumped arrangement is based on wanting to see more of him. and for her, it is less. >> the first thing i thought of. and also just in general, i had to use an old cliche, but opinions are like a-holes. you shouldn't show years on the
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internet, especially if it is a bad one. is there a place where they do that? >> what is known as soon as possible. >> greg: that is disgusting, jamie. you are working blue tonight. that's an old phrase. we are going to go now before you say something worse. coming up, a meanie who are taking on guys who are teeny-weeny. ever. careful now. nice! you got it. and thanks to voya, i'm confident about my future. oh dad, the twins are now... ...vegan. i know, i got 'em some of those plant burgers. - nice! - yeah. voya provides guidance for the right investments and helps me be prepared for unexpected events. they make me feel like i've got it all under control. [crowd] yeah! because i do. ok, that was awesome. voya. be confident to and through retirement.
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>> greg: do her controversy all views suggest no rights for tom cruise? a popular japanese professional video game player was fired after she said that men under 5'7" don't have human rights. it happened last week during a live stream, which i learned is not -- and is one of the most well-known female gamers in the world, called quite a a stir. especially among men who sit on several pillows and their gaming chairs. she also added that short guys should consider bone lengthening surgery pure joy of afterwards her contract was severed. there is a debate over whether her statements were mistranslated. i hope not. from the original japanese. but in the past she has had people with a cup don't have human rights either. of course that is obvious.
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a success would say. so our short men shortchanged when it comes to basic rights? go to our hide correspondent, joe devito. >> greg, it is unconscionable the men of my height have been treated poorly. i will not stand for it on a box or even a stack of books of sometime and i appreciate that we are raising expectations here on the "gutfeld!" show. that because our size will not be mocked for their physical attributes. back to you. >> all makes >> greg: tyrus, why do you hate short people? >> it's not that i hate you. you are just so annoying. you complain about everything and you sanctimonious sons of benches. everything is made for you. who has a special chair appear? i do. who has to order his shoes? i do. who can go on a roller coaster? you guys can. every chair here is for a short man. the make them small so your
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little feet don't go like this. if there was ever a group, if there was ever a group that had nothing to complain about, it would be little, short men. >> greg: all right. well, lara, your husband is 6'6". why do you hate short people? >> great question. a prerequisite for my husband is yet to be taller than i was wearing heels and eric trump covers that so we are all good there. >> greg: i wear heels. >> of course per the only way back for this woman at this point is if anybody remembers stela -- if they teamed up, they could come up with something together and i think that maybe it would make amends of some sort. >> greg: that would be beautiful. jamie, it is weird when a game or judges you are worth as a human being. this is someone who lives and breathes in her own parts. >> that's true. it's not a secret i am little short and i not only was offended, it was even more
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upsetting that i had to take out a calculator and figure out how many centimeters 2 feet until i eventually realized i should be offended. but i think we should dig deeper into if this is japanese translation issue or if it is a gamer terminology pair that is the real thing. my son is 13. i heard him tell his friend he was going to buy weed and meet them at a party and i talked to my son that turns out that means to get ammo and the game. it has nothing to do with weed. so he translated that over. >> greg: you are a great dad. a great divorced dad. i look forward to seeing you weeping in a mcdonald's. >> can i say something? it's my son's quick. happy birthday to my son. >> greg: a lot of birthdays here, kat. i don't think she should be fired. she should be doing volunteer work for four people, like 60 hours of getting things off of the top shelves. like hang out at a walmart and a
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short person, she has to go up and grab the thing. >> i did research. the average height of a man in japan is 5'7". so what she was basically saying is that the average man doesn't deserve rights. and i have never said that. i wouldn't ever. but, that is because she plays video games for a living. you don't get into that profession because you are good at making friends. you're not the best social skills. he could see her though make it her apology too. she said i poorly express my love her told people. just stop. just say i play video games for a living because i don't know how to communicate effectively. >> i think she is a genius. because i've never heard of her and now i'm obsessed with her. speak up because you are five a day to. >> greg: that is right. thank you, tyrus. >> you're still small.
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>> greg: all right. i'm so excited. we have seen him as a regular on our show. we have also seen him in your closet. you know him, you love them, please welcome comedian joe machi.
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>> thank you. hey, thank you. wow. thank you. wow. these days it seems like you say something and it upsets people in power, they can get you fired. they can even take your bank account. sometimes i think free speech is as barely legal as leonardo dicaprio's girlfriends. you are right. we should all feel bad for leonardo dicaprio. that's one on me for punching down. but i won't let this crowd turn the roads of dallas that are shut down by a few snowflakes, so buckle up. what i don't understand about the canceled culture is, to me, it seems like the movie "avatar." really successful, but i don't know anyone that likes it. and i struggle with that joke because i thought up another punch line that would be equally
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as apropos but would make a lot more people angrier. canceled culture is a lot like president biden. really successful, but i don't know anyone that likes him. because millions of people love obama and millions of people love trump, but even biden are like it's better if you don't talk. that is why he has less -- it is like they don't want you to think these days. a friend of mine said you think that men are better than women in sports. and i said, a lot of the time, isn't that obvious? and she said, well, ronda rousey could beat you up. why is it that anytime there is an example of a woman that can beat up a man, it is ronda rousey? and why is it that anytime there is an example of a man that can be beat up by a woman, it is joe
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machi? it is like people think that skepticism is bad. but not me. i think it's a great thing. that's why i am the first one out of every game of simon says i've ever played. there like simon says cut your head and i'm like simon said that? [bleep] that guy. i don't believe him. and everyone goes around judging people off of one sentence with no context. in the worst part about that is that it feels pretty good. but if you judge people on one sentence with no context, doesn't that make you kind of a person? even that. even that little bit of judging felt amazing. i feel good and i didn't do anything to deserve that, which makes judging kind of like a drug. and you should use drugs responsibly and you should judge responsibly.
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that is why i judge people by signing up for prison pen pal programs where i ask convicted murderers if they've learned their lesson. i worry about being judged. i went to the doctor and i told them i think i sweat far more than most people. he ran some tests, is a joke, you have hyperhidrosis. so if you are embarrassed just explain to people that you have a mental condition that causes you to sweat much more than others. that was his solution. so i've just been telling people i am addicted to cocaine. i am guilty of being sarcastic. that is my big problem. my friend told me the other night his girlfriend came over and they both got naked. and he said i will leave the rest up to your imagination. so i said, a burglar broke in. and he said oh, my god, your
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bodies are disgusting. thank you so much, everyone. >> greg: joe machi, everyone. alright, so...cordless headphones, you can watch movies through your phone? and y'all got electric cars? yeah. the future is crunk! (laughs)
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anything else you wanna know? is the hype too much? am i ready? i can't tell you everything. but if you want to make history, you gotta call your own shots. we going to the league! (vo) what makes my heart beat? having everything i want in the place i love. jamaica. heartbeat of the world. let's go!
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>> singers: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace. ♪ >> greg: we are out of time, thank you, joe mackie, laura, tyrus. i'm greg gutfeld i love you america. ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello, welcome to "fox news @ night." i'm shannon bream in washington. ♪ ♪ breaking tonight, new satellite imagery appears to show russian with more troops and equipment along the ukrainian border. volodymyr and larger conflict escalates. we have a live report where things


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