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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  March 28, 2022 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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get ice cream. it was locked so you could only lift it a little bit and pull it out. >> laura: her obsession did not stop there. >> it's convenient. it's right there. it has a long shelf life. you don't have to worry about it. it's right there. i have it for breakfast. >> laura: "gutfeld!" is next. >> this is a fox news alert live in lviv. ukrainian forces claim to have taken a key suburb back from the russians. they believe they recaptured a town. ukraine's president volodymyr zelenskyy is not ready to celebrate yet and cautions that russian forces are trying to
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regroup after losing the area. >> our defenders are advanceing in the kyiv region regaining control of towns. the occupiers are being pushed away from kyiv. however, it's too early to talk about a secure situation in this part of our region. the fighting continues. >> russia is deploying its private military firm to eastern ukraine. the wagner group is expected to send more than 1,000 mercenaries to under take combat operations. they are reputeed to be close to president vladimir putin is already expected of other abuses. a cyber attack knocked ukraine's
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telecommunications provider off line. most customers were cut off from telephone, internet and mobile service. stay with fox news for on-going coverage of the war on ukraine. i am jonathan hunt live in lviv. now back to "gutfeld!." >> greg: hello there. great to see you again. hope had you a great weekend. i know i it. the last thing i remember was larry kudlow putting on a leather mask. i remember my childhood. i had a dog named chipper. looked like a town tiny german general with mange. when he got out you think it it would run to the park to pee or pop? no it ran into traffic.
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us kids have to risk our lives trying to scoop the mutt out of harm's way. it was a weird habit. when offered options to pick the worst one which seems to be our president's problem. he just loves to run into traffic and scream world war iii! >> we will have a different future. a brighter future with hope and light and freedom and possibilities. for god's sake this man cannot remain in power. >> greg: yes, he said for god's sake this man cannot remain in power. he was not talking about himself am he brought a regime change pushing the war into a new phase. he might as well as have said we are nuking russia next week unless they do it first. thanks, joe.
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we took a giant step back. i thought our policy was not to topple putin. toppling regimes worked out as well as dating a striper. biden through gas on the fire and at $6 a gallon that's wasteful. the invasion was a clear violation of international law. don't bring up regime change. who got brad pitt toob "the five"? they should change the name to the ten because that's what i am. >> i thought that was brad pitt. >> greg: i look younger. maybe that's a question only the pope can answer. [laughing]. watching the media proclaim how
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forceful joe was in the regime change to watch it to get walked back. >> what a powerful piece we heard from president biden. >> the speech was well done and touched on several points. >> that line there at the end. directly to putin is the stand out line from that entire speech. >> he made it clear he wants putin gone. >> critical. the message he wanted to deliver here tonight. that call at the end in terms of president putin that was something. no question about it. >> this man cannot remain in power very, very strong words. >> greg: so strong it had to be erased in a panic. sorry. it's bad enough this administration is telling us what we can say and now telling us what we didn't hear.
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joe trying to walk back his own words. >> i want to make it clear. i was not articulating a policy change. i was expressing the moral outrage i feel and make no apologies for it. >> greg: that came after something else he said that was pointless. >> we are in the middle of a fight between democracy and oligarchs. democracy will prevail and the values we share. our ought autocracy will prevail. >> greg: this only matters to us. it suggests that the war has a bigger mission for us. it means more to us than them. does it? if only someone had warned him about this. >> the invasion was a clear violation of international law. don't talk about protecting
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liberal democracy. china and russia don't draw that line. they understand violation of international law. you can't get around that. who is that sexy beast? give that guy a late night show. there were other gaffes. >> what makes you think vladimir putin the alter course based on your action? >> i didn't say that in fact sanctions would deter him. sanctions never deter. you keep talking about that. >> greg: well, then what is their points? we just pretend it works. then this. >> the ukrainian people have a lot of backbone and guts. i am sure you are observing it. i don't mean just the military. you will see when you there, you
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will see women and young people standing in front of a damn tank saying i am not leafing. >> greg: you are going to see when you are there. biden puts his foot in his mouths more than a marooned cannibal. maybe nobody takes what joe says. world leaders laugh. but this old dog leaves so many messes on the carpet. if only there was a product to take care of that once and for all. >> am so sick of cleaning up these messes. there has to be a better way. >> we have a scoop for you. introducing the white house pooper scooper for when the president makes a mess of things. perfect for when your boss is talking [bleep].
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>> this man can't stay in power. >> if chemical weapons were used would that trigger a military response from nato? >> a response in kind. >> and works on verbal diarrhea. >> the significance of the passage of time. there is great significance to the passage of time. >> 81 million people can't be wrong. shipping may take 12 to 14 months due to supply chain issues. >> wear a mask. >> greg: the white house had photo opposite with the troops and holding a refugees child and meeting with world leaders. to enhance his status he should have stayed home. joe has been in it politics for over 5 decades. he was a vp for 8. been to a lot of counties and
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knows ukraine like hunter's laptop. it's the only profession where experience count again you. the higher the stakes the more biden screws up. we know putin violated international law. why help him? it's like telling jesse watters he is losing his hair. it only makes him angrier. anchor of the "story" martha maccallum! we call him scrooge because he is an expert on money and wearing pants. and larry kudlow. the only thing she does by the book is stealing from libraries. kat timpf.
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and if will smith slapped him he would get his oscars posthummously. tyrus. martha what is going on with this administration? should we be worried? ukraine wants it to end but biden is making it last loner . is that just me? >> it's just you. zelenskyy would love for this to end but during negotiations they are opposite sides of the fence. the president would be better off not walking it back and just letting it fly. no matter what you think of president trump versus president biden you know that president trump would never have walked back a comment like that.
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the tweets he said about the north korea leader. the smarter way is along the lines of president reagan. empowering the people of russia and encouraging them to make a difference in the kind of world they want to live in. it's a dig at putin. many people in your country are against you and what you are doing without calling for a regime change. president obama told us assad's days were numbers and he must go. across the country, his days are numbered. he is still there. those things have a way of sticking around. if you are going to say something like that, stick by it. >> greg: yes. what about that saying regime change. good or bad thing? >> biden who is totally
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bewildered. he can't say anything right. he had our troops going into the ukraine. won't give zelenskyy weapons. he is cognitively disabled and weak and intimidated by putin. he said the only good sentence of his entire presidency. which had a reagan feel to it. i will be criticized for this. he said it. reagan used to say they win and we win and they lose. biden never attacks putin directly like he should. he called him a war criminal. he should call him a crook and corrupt because he has a 700 million dollars yacht. >> greg: don't get jealous.
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>> putin robbed the russian folks for 3 decades. marth is right. stick with it. the people that jumped on biden the fastest were the people in his own party. >> greg: who is the person doing the jumping? >> it was blinken secretary of state. biden, he took one whack at it. the only decent thing biden has said in 14 months. don't walk it back. let it stand. >> greg: kat timpf, i would disagree with larry kudlow if you want to engage negotiation you don't demonize the othered side. what side do you take and remember you work for me? >> i do. okay.
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biden, that wasn't in his prepared speech. he should not be ripping. it's because of who you are that it's a big deal. if someone on twitter says cat is annoying. i won't think about it. if i heard you say that, that would be a little more concerning to me because you could do something about that. that's why it matters. >> greg: go check your voice mail. >> can i say one thing? reagan pounded the evil empire dictators and czars. then the soviet union fell.
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biden has had any manhood in this whole thing. he should be calling putin a crook on a daily basis. either the russian overthrow him. how many americans agreed with lindsey graham when he said putin should be assassinated want ? biden is on to something but should have stuck by it. >> the pentagon said it was alarming what he said. this statement is not alarming. how dare they say that. >> greg: i love it when you talk like that. [laughing]. tyrus? >> i don't know what news you are watching. the speech writers in the pandemic were the biggest class
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of workers that disappeared. he talked about points of light and a beautiful democracy. my god, man. there was nothing connected to. that not even a little bit. whenever he talks you get about 2 minutes of cognitive speech. my god, man! i am taking crazy pills. he didn't walk back the regime change. he said policy change. he wanted to change the voting rights in russia. >> greg: [laughing]. >> he had no clue. he said policy. regime and policy. i get them confused all the time. we are in trouble. there is no strong statements from him. all he does is ring dinner bells and enable the other side. if i was in taiwan i would starts packing up stuff.
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he fires everybody on. they are going xi jingping did you hear what he just said? he is empowering the wrong side and makes us look horrible. >> greg: wait for the next segment. chris rock hit with an open hand. real or planned? of course it was real! >> ♪ ♪ only from discover. migraine attacks? you can't always avoid triggers like stress. qulipta™ can help prevent migraine attacks. you can't prevent what's going on outside that's why qulipta™ helps what's going on inside. qulipta™ is a pill. gets right to work to prevent migraine attacks and keeps them away over time. qulipta™ blocks cgrp, a protein believed to be a cause of migraine attacks. qulipta™ is a preventive treatment for episodic migraine. most common side effects are nausea, constipation, and tiredness. learn how abbvie can help you save on qulipta™.
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>> greg: is will smith an oscar disgrace because he left his fresh princeton on chris rock's face? or is chris rock a hater because he made a joke about jada? was 3 hours oscars saved or ruined by will smith's slap. he slapped chris rock over
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a joke about his wife that service from alopecia. i don't remember when the slap happened. let's watch 3.5 hours now. >> jada i love you. gi-jane ii i can't wait to see it. >> [laughing]. >> that was a nice one. uh-oh. [laughing]. oh, wow! wow! >> greg: at first that my have felt staged. but smith had words for rock after he sat back down. >> wow! will smith just smacked the [bleep] out of me. >> keep my wife's name out of your [bleep] mouth. >> dude, it was a gi-jane joke. >> keep my wife's name out of
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your [bleep] mouth. >> i was going to. >> greg: he was going to say something. smith accepted an award for best actor and apologized but didn't mention rock. >> in this business you have people disrespecting you. i apologize to the academy and my fellow nominees. >> greg: most of the reaction to the whole thing has been all over the place. the dumbest came from a cnn analyst. did anyone walk out after that happened? how trump was normalized. it was trump's fault. expecting hollywood to walk out over injustice. they make half of their money from china. a rich black man slaps another
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rich black man at the dumbest event on television. that's like blaming a hockey brawl on barack obama but that would be true. >> an idiot would say. >> greg: you have some strong feelings, tyrus, take it away. >> this is what happens when you are in a bad relationship. chris rock is a comedian. started with i love you and made a gi-jane joke. jada has always had short hair and we know about the issue. but will smith laughed at the joke. she did not. she made the face and when the camera goes back to chris rock, that's the exchange. that's when the husband who
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should have been like it's a joke, dear. he had to prove to her because that's how bad their relationship was. he smacked chris. he threw away everything he stood for if that moment. this brother was one of the brothers he was different. he rapid without cussing and did everything the right way. we know how bill cosby ended. this guy did it right. be like him. he did it this way. in it one moment he was no different that he used to fight against. it has nothing to with chris rock. it has to do with him and jada and their relationship. she was with a dude in the house. that stuff weighs on you. when you have a bad relationship that's what happens. we have seen it at restaurant and bars and places where a guy
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and his girl will be there. some guy says something. what are you going to do about it it? i will show you and hits the guy. that's their thing. they need counselling. wow, the woke were stuck. they didn't know what to do. a straight black man and another straight black man one slaps him. because to them it doesn't matter about violence if it doesn't affect them. if chris was gay and will smith slapped him. boy they would be asked for the academy award back. when it doesn't affect you don't care about violence. i think will smith should give the award back. he disgraced himself and everything he stood for and chris did not deserve that. the next time a comedian says something you don't like you just walk up and hit him. >> greg: kat, you wish he hit
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him harder? >> i think it's awful. i can't believe there is a debate whether it was okay or not. >> greg: are you against debate? >> no, that's the point. for someone to hit a comic. comedians are supposed to push boundaries. they mess up sometimes. i get it. i was diagnosed with alopecia at age 27 and lost hair and thankfully a lot has grown back. i cried a lot over it. i know how devastating that can be although i never lost all of mine. it doesn't matter what the subject of the joke is. people say you need to hit somebody that is what happened people say words are violence. people are taking it literally. >> greg: larry? >> this baffles me. it's not my cup of tea.
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i was interested in what tyrus said. basically, he was laughing at the joke but the wife -- >> we can't go back. he did that kind of laugh. watch his face. he had the head back. we are emotional laughing. that stereotype is true. >> nobody watches this stuff anyway. they are trying to ruin our culture. i don't care what happened. it's all very interesting and i roll that. >> and kanye when he grabbed the award at the grammys. that broke that wall. now you can go up and react.
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i thought the joke was dumb and personal. it's a classic hollywood indulgeigence. i don't care what is going on between these two guys. anyone else who won award no one will talk about it. >> greg: i know. nobody knows the movies. >> i know. >> i watched coda. it's a sweet movie. is it a best picture? >> greg: everything got smaller. no big movies stars. >> all of the hollywood people slug it out. >> we would be there all day. did you not see that slap? >> you agree with you.
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>> [overlapping talking]. >> martha, i would have defended you. >> nameplate [overlapping talking]. >> should have hit him in the ribs. >> wow. >> greg: he went to the "vanity fair" party. what do i know? >> chris rock has more to lose than will smith did and took it. >> greg: we have to it move on. i want to know what was on the tip of chris rock's tongue when he said i am-- >> he was going to talk about the singer in the house. >> greg: or something even more
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personal. >> tyrus scoring the match? >> i am throwing in the towel for both guys. one guy's hands behind his back and the other guy can not take him off his feet. refund tickets and apologized. >> greg: police funding gets the nod in a move that will upset the squad. lavender baths calmed him. so we made a plan to turn bath time into a business. ♪ ♪ find a northwestern mutual advisor at >> tech: cracked windshield? make it easy and schedule with safelite, ♪ ♪ because you can track us and see exactly when we'll be there. >> woman: i have a few more minutes. let's go! >> tech vo: that's service that fits your schedule. go to >> singers: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace. ♪ ♪simply irresistible♪ ♪ ♪ ♪simply irresistible♪ applebee's irresist-a-bowls are back. now starting at $8.99. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood.
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your shipping manager left to “find themself.” leaving you lost. you need to hire. i need indeed. indeed you do. indeed instant match instantly delivers quality candidates matching your job description. visit >> ♪ ♪ >> this is a fox news alert live in lviv. ukrainian claim to have taken an eastern town from russians. it is believe that ukraine's military reclaimed a town in the eastern part of the country and a mayor said the key suburb was liberated from russian troops. according to british intelligence, russia is deploying a private military firm to eastern ukraine. the wagner group is expected to send more than 1,000 mercenaries to undertake combat operations.
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the cyber attack against ukraine's telecommunications provider knocked off telephone, internet and mobile services. i am jonathan hunt live in lviv. back to "gutfeld!." >> boy, did we [bleep] up. >> greg: democracy want to refund the police. biden wants to spend one zillion bucks after his policy turned cops into sitting ducks. 30 billion dollars to support local law enforcement. and funding for more deputy marshalls. with a special unit dedicated to
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kat timpf. is there renewed focus on crime too little too late? like bringing condoms on a gender reveal? or a political ploy democrats are looking to clean up the mess biden made? just in time for the mid-terms when democrats need to wash the stank off their clothes. joe, you want to fund police. >> don't give me that. this is a process. you fund the police. then you defund the police. then you refund the police. i am in the refund part. come on, man. i have been in this business a long time. know what i am doing am my wife is a doctor. road the amtrak. kamala harris used to be a prosecutor attorney district general. i am like mcgruff the crime dog.
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he said only you can prevent forest fires. >> will that help him in the mid-terms? >> i don't think so. i didn't hear anything about bringing in more law enforcement. they left law enforcement because nobody had their back. >> greg: larry, this money one make it to the right people? >> his definition of cops is different than the normal definition. he is talking about social workers. he under-funded the department of homeland security so there is nothing going on to protect the border. nobody believes biden about regime change. that was a joke. >> [laughing]. >> greg: i got it. about as good as the gi-jane
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joke. >> should i walk over and slap you now? >> [laughing]. >> greg: all of the money should go to build more prisons. >> [laughing]. >> greg: i actually feel that way. >> i can't believe that it took so long. everything is fine. people could walk outside and things were not fine. not just in terms of what they call lifestyle crimes but violent crimes. i don't think it helps either. there are so many problems in in country this is just one of many. >> greg: what do you say? >> he thinkses the american people are stupid. where is the money coming from? stand with an apology and stand
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behind law enforcement. he can't. you still have the prosecutors and policies letting them out as soon as at a get arrested. it won't change anything. >> greg: if they back the police the moment a problematic video comes out. the democrat party runs away from that. that's a downer. we will have more fun later. commuters use scooters to get their kicks and those in cars can't strive strick. -- drive stick. i can't drive a stick and i am proud of it.
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>> greg: we are back. with cars with a clutch americans are out of touch. gas prices have abused commuters they are stuck using scooters. using e-scooters to get around without going bankrupt. all it costs is your dignity.
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according to the "wall street journal" said gas prices are shooting up like passengers on the subway. scooter rentals sky rocketed in new york. joy sticks, those who are driving don't want to pick a car with a stick. data from u.s. news and world report only 1% have manual transmission. driving a stick shift is a dying art. i diagram to you, kat. you have not driven in decades. >> like one decade.
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i am not getting on a scooter. no. have they not heard of weather? maybe if i lived in a habitable climate. it's cold all the time. >> greg: i love how fast you can go on scooters. they almost killed me. crossing the street they are coming at you but delivering your food. >> they go to 60 miles per hour. that's not a good idea. i have a led foot. >> greg: i have noticed. >> 60 miles per hour on one of those things. that's crazy. >> greg: they are always coming up 6th avenue. larry, i bet you learned on a stick. >> people of a certain age know how to it use a stick shift and learned on one as i did. that's the only real form of driving. you understand what you are doing. nowadays you just push buttons like a computer. you are not driving a car.
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i want to see more stick shifts. >> greg: what did you drive? >> a pontiac grand prix and an old porsche. the stick shift got in the way of certain activities. >> i am confused. >> [laughing]. >> tyrus. scooter or stick? >> neither. i had to learn on a stick. my problem was feet were so big with the clutch that was fun. i figured it out. a stick is like a buggy now. those days are over. unless you are an expert driver with silver hair the stick is gone. scooters for single drifters who
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borrow those things and leave them everywhere. wait until there are 47 outside of your apartment. >> they got their own scooter lane but don't observe traffic lights and want to kill pedestrians in front of fox. >> that's a take. >> greg: i agree. it is not good. i love my electric bike. like i gave birth to it. >> that would hurt. i would go c-section. >> greg: up next. would it be nifty to live to 150? we will discuss and debate. too late! boom! i'm. earn big time with chase freedom unlimited with no annual fee. how do you cashback? chase. make more of what's yours.
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>> a story in 5 words. >> ♪ ♪ >> we are short on time. story if 5 words. want to live to be 150? this story comes out all the time. larry, researchers say this is possible. is it a good idea? >> well, i am well on my way. i am halfway there. i never felt better. living to 150 i would have to really think about that. so many culture trends i can't
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stand what i am looking at and we need regime change. >> greg: there you go. kat, we were told that the world was supposed to end. what if you outlive earth? >> i don't think if the world ends you keep living. >> greg: what if you can have a secret compartment under your house with a weird fabric you made in the summer? >> i would like to live to 150 and longer. what else do you do? >> greg: you want your cat to live forever? >> he will live forever. he is trying to die, but nope! >> you that are kid that no one could have a conversation with because you would what if them to death? it doesn't matter if you win the
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argument. that's who you were. oh, i would beat you up alive. living to 150 i have no interest. have you seen somebody 100? it's not a good sight. 50 years later you are going to be a pile of goop. >> greg: end the capital gains tax. >> you won't know capital gains from 150. >> it depends on what kind of 150 you are. if you can walk and talk. >> greg: if they could take my brain and put it in a vat and plug stimmuleus in there so i am happy all the time. that's what you do. >> that's already how i live. >> greg: exactly. it's the meta-verse.
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>> you don't look like her. >> greg: no am we have to it move on. what a great way to start a monday. we'll be right back. and doug. we gotta tell people that liberty mutual customizes car insurance so you only pay for what you need, and we gotta do it fast. [limu emu squawks] woo! thirty-four miles per hour! new personal record, limu! [limu emu squawks] he'll be back. only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty. ♪
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we are out of time. set your dvr so you don't miss an episode. i love you, america. >> welcome to "fox news at night". i'm shannon bream in washington. breaking tonight, air raid sirens blaring in lviv, ukraine. they claim to have recaptured two up of the towns including a suburb in the capital city of kyiv. for going to take you there live . i'm president biden having to explain c


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