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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  August 30, 2010 11:05pm-12:05am PST

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time now for tonight's "closing arguments." in a hastily assembled rose garden address today, president obama a cused senate republicans of holding his economic plan hostage. the president's bill would cut taxes for small businesses and he said his economic team is working on new strategies for growth. economists, however, say the problem now isn't policy, it's public insecurity. so tonight we wanted to ask you, does the president's plan measure up to this summer of dire numbers? if not, what can president obama do to put the economy back on course? tell us what you think at the "nightline" facebook page or at abcnews.com. and be sure to watch abc news coverage of the presidential address to the nation tomorrow night at 8:00 p.m. eastern. we'll have full analysis of this
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address on "nightline." one final note, dutch police today took two men off a chicago to amsterdam flight and charged them with, quote, preparation of a terrorist attack. luggage tied to the two men, ahmed al soofi and hezem al murisi contained what were termed mock bombs. it's not immediately clear where the two men were from. watch "good morning america" for the latest on this fast-breaking story. that's our report tonight. for all of us at abc news, good night, neck. america. everything you need to inflict shame on your competition. >> that is right, jimmy.
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thanks to yahoo!, i am going to win our fantasy league this year. >> no, you're not. i'm going to win. >> guillermo, ya ya, please, fantasy football is supposed to be fun. >> no, it's not. it's very serious. with yahoo!'s new mobile app, i can manage my team and matchups and -- anywhere, anytime. >> no, with my -- i go with my -- i go with my -- i go with my -- matchups, standings, team, player stats, anywhere, anytime, that's what i say. >> i said that too. >> i had no idea you guys even liked fantasy football. what are your teammates? >> my team is the -- >> no, it's chick wa wa. >> can i make a suggestion? never act again, you're terrible.
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>> okay. >> get your fantasy football free and manage on the go with yahoo!'s free fantasy football apps for iphone or android phone. >> back in two minutes with joss hutcherson, music from the swell >> back in two minutes with joss hutcherson, music from the swell season and matthew fox. the wimp right ya. quench the fire with a 32-ounce drink for a chance to win the new playstation move motion gaming system and lots of hot new games before they even hit stores. subway. where winners eat. and lots of hot new games before they even hit stores. you'll never go back to your old duster. [ funny voice ] hey, duster! wanna attract dust like swiffer 360 duster? then try the magnet hat! ♪ whoa! wow! [ female announcer ] sorry, duster, but swiffer 360 dusters attract dust with over 500,000 fibers and lock it away to clean better than a feather duster. swiffer's built smarter to clean better. ♪ she blinded me with science
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- matthew fox. from "the kids are all right," josh hutcherson. and music from the swell season. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" and now, just to be on the safe
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side, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm charmed by that, thank you. thank you for being here. thank you for watching. thank you for your generous contributions. i'm jim, as in jim tan laundry. that is me that they're talking about. after six months of breathless anticipation, america returned to the jersey shore, which, like lebron james, has been relocated to miami. and none of the people on it are from new jersey and it is new in miami, so it doesn't make sense, but i guess as long as there's techno music and a quiet place to vomit, the jersey shore can
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really be anywhere. it's a state of mind, if you will. i noticed today that the show isn't in hd, which is weird. it's in vd, this show. [ laughter ] [ rim shot ] but not in hd. this season, they brought angelina back. angelina was on the first season but got kicked out. and then, after she was kicked out, she bad-mouthed the other girls in interviews. so, naturally, mtv brought her back and surprised -- everyone is getting along really well. >> you want to go outside right now, we'll go right [ bleep ] outside. >> first of all -- >> put your [ bleep ] in my [ bleep ] face. you wanna take this outside? >> i'm trying to come back here with a fresh start. i'm trying to be classy right now. >> hold on. angelina -- >> [ bleep ] mosquito in my ear. just stop. >> all right. you're so annoying. >> you want to do this on me. >> you want to beat the [ bleep ] out of me? >> jimmy: they say women are from hoboken and men are from
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trenton, you know? another big moment tonight, j-woww spilled a drink on sammie's clothes. i couldn't believe it, either. this is what we're watching. so, snooki rinsed the clothes off in the sink. >> oh, my god. >> it just collapsed. >> don't [ bleep ] with her shorts. >> i feel like a pilgrim right now. >> jimmy: she didn't say which '20s. could have been the 1620s, right? pilgrims. she came over on the sprayflower in -- [ laughter ] you may remember, some italian american groups were upset about the first season of "jersey shore" because they felt it depicted our people in a negative light. to me, it just depicts people in a negative light, but my aunt chippy is an italian american, she was not crazy about "the jersey shore" last year. this year, we forced her to watch it.
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she's more open-minded this year, right, uncle frank? >> she is. she is. >> jimmy: here is aunt chippy with her review of tonight's big premiere. >> people who watch this, and i mean this with -- from the bottom of my heart -- you're sick bastards. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so, i guess she did not -- [ cheers and applause ] there were two major revelations about snooki in the episode. one, she has a boyfriend, which should last for two and a half weeks and, two, she's abandoned tanning beds and started spray tanning because, of all things, the new health care bill. >> that's it. that's perfect. >> i don't go spray tanning anymore because obama put a 10% tax on tanning. and i feel like he did that intentionally for us. >> jimmy: yes, yes, that's what he was thinking about. that and the new pickle tax,
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were designed -- as if president obama has more important things to do than watch "the jersey shore." well, like, appear on "the view" this morning. it was the first time a sitting president has ever sat on a daytime talk show. and oprah was not pleased. i heard she threw a ming vase through a picasso this morning. and while the president was there, joy behar actually asked him about snooki. >> should snooki run as mayor of wasilla? >> i got to admit, i don't know who snooki is. >> you don't? >> i'm snooki, bitches! >> jimmy: they really should beef up security, because that should not be allowed to happen to the president. it was a very big morning on "the view." barbara walters made an appearance to conduct it, and the ladies were extremely excited the president was there. >> do you really think being on
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the show with a bunch of women, five women who never shut up, is going to be calming? >> look, i -- i was trying to find a show that michelle actually watched. [ talking over each other ] >> an honor to have you. thank you. >> i had a wonderful time. >> jimmy: well, you know, they couldn't help themselves. i can't blame them. [ cheers and applause ] one of the things that the president revealed this morning was that he was not invited to chelsea clinton's wedding this weekend, which before anyone thinks it is a personal slight, remember, it's like 80 bucks a head. you can't invite everybody. security is very fight for this wedding. the faa ordered a no-fly zone over the area where the wedding is taking place, and the secret service has been ordered to shoot if bill gets within 15 feet of a bridesmaid, so -- [ laughter ]
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meanwhile, do you remember president bush? president bush's memoir is set to come out. just in time for the upcoming midterm elections, and that has some republicans worried, because it may remind voters of president bush. one conservative columnist called the timing of the book release selfish and stupid, which coincidentally happens to also be the title of the book, available for preorder right now on amazon. this monday night, the season finale of "the bachelorette" is on abc. bachelorette ali will be forced to choose between alberto and chris. abc put out a press release that promises the result will be, quote, shocking. which, i mean, how shocking could it be? she either picks roberto or she picks chris or she picks neither one. what am i missing here? the only thing that will shock me is if in three months ali is still with the person she chose on the show. they just released a new promo
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that, if it is to be believed, does promise a finale very different than any of the finales before it. >> monday on "the bachelorette," ali's heart-wrenching final decision. and roberto's startling revelation. >> i want to show you something. i'm actually a woman. >> abc's "the bachelorette." lesbians in love. monday on abc. >> jimmy: all right, now that's a twist. [ applause ] that's a twist. this is -- this is interesting. a new study from ucla found that 1 in 5 californians say they believe they could use some professional help for mental problems. and all of them said if the resources were limited, mel gibson can go ahead of them, so -- [ laughter ] today, what was called the final of the purported mel gibson tape series was released. he had a good run. this last message was allegedly left for his ex-girlfriend
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oksana the day after he allegedly called her 30 times in one night and -- well, listen to this. >> oh, my god. just kidding, baby. just kidding. you've been punked. oh, my gosh, you should have seen your face. just messing with you, baby. i love you so much. bitch in heat? that was a good one. hilarious. oh, let's grab dinner, though, baby, okay? you and me. bye-bye. >> jimmy: all right. we've been -- [ applause ] oh, sugar tits, you got us again. big news today. ellen degeneres says she will not return to "american idol" this season. she said that after much thought, she realizes that it's terrible and she cannot sit through one more second of that crap, so -- [ applause ] if i was in charge, i would replace all the judges with three hungry dobermans trained
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to attack the moment someone sings off key. those are the dogs. [ applause ] lindsay lohan is still in jail. she's supposed to get out sunday or monday. her lawyer said she's been passing the time eating twizzlers. you can make an escape ladder out of those. i've seen it done. lindsay's father today released a song that he wrote for her, and he wrote the song, i guess, the last time he was in prison, which is so sweet. well, here's a little bit of it. ♪ a father's love will never die ♪ ♪ we'll see things through ♪ no matter what the reasons why ♪ >> jimmy: there are a lot of reasons why in this particular case. there's a report today that lindsay's friends were going to have a protest outside the detention facility where she's locked up. what they're protesting i don't
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know, but the paparazzi was there, all there waiting for this protest, but the only friend who showed up was this guy. >> she's accepted responsibility and that's really all i have to say. >> she went to jail? >> yes, she did. >> oh! >> jimmy: now that's jake byrd, from when she went into jail. we met jake outside -- we met him outside the michael jackson trial and then we saw him at the o.j. arraignment -- >> we expect mr. simpson to be processed and released -- >> yes! >> fairly quickly. >> jimmy: and we saw him again at paris hilton's dui hearing. >> he ruled that he was remanding miss hilton to the sheriff's custody to serve the remainder of her sentence at the century region -- >> no! no! no! no! >> jimmy: he's everywhere he needs be. and today, in lindsay's time of need, when none of her friends were brave enough to show their faces, jake byrd was there, alone. >> okay, okay. okay.
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look. look where i am. i'm at lindsay's -- i'm at lindsay lohan's jail and i'm going to play the new song that her dad wrote her. and you can tell from the song that it's not just a ploy to sell some mp3 downloads. he totally loves her. this is for lindsay. it's "daddy's little girl." my dad didn't write a song for me. if he wrote a song for me, it would be called, i'm going out for cigarettes, jake, and i'll be right back, and it would be 14 years long. ♪ a father's love will never die ♪ any publicity is good publicity. ♪ see things through ♪ no matter what the reasons why ♪ >> lindsay, i know you are learning a lot more than how to be a better lady lover and how to make lipstick out of burnt rubber bands. you're learning how to be a better person. i'll be waiting for you, baby. ♪
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>> i'm the one that supported them all their life. i'm the one that gave them their diamond rings, fur coats, cars and mercedes and jaguars. ♪ a father's love will never die ♪ >> neither will mine, lindsay lohan! >> it's lindsay's lawyer! ♪ no matter what the reasons why ♪ >> right, right? these lyrics are amazing. he's the richard marx of dads. you dropped your briefs. would you like -- >> thank you, thank you. >> i underlined all the sex parts. >> i'm the one who paid for everything. ♪ i promise you ♪ my love for you won't die >> dizzy. >> are you all right? >> dizzy. >> jimmy: well, i actually got a
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little bit -- [ laughter ] oh, there is jake. thank you, jake. beautifully done, thank you. jake byrd. it's thursday night. time for our weekly tribute to the fcc, where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> bell city council members wanted to go into closed door session so they can discuss whether or not to [ bleep ] the city manager, whether or not to [ bleep ] the chief of police. >> what do you think? who will ali [ bleep ]? vote now. >> i think ali is going to [ bleep ] roberto. >> you've really done a lot. you [ bleep ] 200-plus [ bleep ] since you're in office. >> this one is missy boo. my name is bonnie, and i [ bleep ] animals. >> have we forgotten how to do anything? it would take us 85 days how to [ bleep ] a seven-inch hole. >> do not be afraid of the [ bleep ]. >> oh, don't be afraid. >> we are not. >> novelists are drawn to, you know, [ bleep ] [ bleep ] and
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low lives. >> we study whales and we know that blue whales [ bleep ] three types of [ bleep ] here in southern california. >> before bruce can [ bleep ] this pretty puppy, he has to ask the dog's owner for permission. >> excuse me, panda scout. may i [ bleep ] your dog? >> yes, you may. >> so, are you still [ bleep ] that [ bleep ] in your office? >> i do. when my wife's not here. >> i am not kidding you that, we would [ bleep ], like [ bleep ] every single day. and our parents weren't home so, they'd last like eight hours. >> jimmy: we have a good show tonight. young josh hutcherson is here. we have music from the swell season. and we'll be right back with matthew fox, so stick around.
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17-year-old josh hutcherson is >> jimmy: well, thank you, cleto. cleto and the cletones, everybody. we have a good show for you tonight. 17-year-old josh hutcherson is here. very nice young man. and then later, we have music from academy award winners, this is their latest album called "strict joy," the swell season, from the bud light stage. next week on the show, the bachelorette ali and whomever she picks or doesn't pick will be here. shaquille o'neal will be here on monday, too. next week, also, dylan mcdermott, ice cube, melissa rycroft and music from saving abel and the black crowes. so join us next week. if you're anything like me, your
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life has been meaningless since our first guest's eyelid came to rest two months ago on the final episode of "lost." he seems to be doing fine. he and his island have been nominate for an emmy. and "lost," the complete sixth and final season, and "lost," the complete series, which is awesome, comes out on dvd and blue ray august 24th. please welcome matthew fox! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good to see you. welcome back. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: the last time you were here on this stage -- are you dead or alive quite now? i'm really not sure. >> no, he's dead. >> jimmy: he's dead. he's dead. >> i'm alive. >> jimmy: you -- last time you were here was on the night of the finale, and you got -- i think you got very emotional, right? >> i did.
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that was -- that was an interesting night, you know? right before i walked out, i was seeing the end of the show and then i got out on stage and it really felt, for the first time, that that was the end of it all. it felt really like the end for me the first time and it was an interesting night. >> jimmy: what kind of reaction did you get from people after that, people that had seen the show? >> it's been -- i mean, all the feedback that i've gotten has been amazing. everybody has really enjoyed the way the show wrapped up. you know, there was an enormous amount of pressure on the sixth season of the show, and i feel that the way that it ended was beautiful and i think a lot of people -- most of the audience felt that way. i really haven't heard anybody say they didn't like it. >> jimmy: i think that people who were really fans of the show, they enjoyed the ending and people who kind of casually wanted to see what was going on were kind of like, i don't know what was going on there. >> there was a certain segment of the audience that was just
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about, i need to know what the answers are, and, you know, like life, some of those answers you can't answer some of those questions, so, i think it ended really beautifully and it was spiritual and very moving. >> jimmy: speaking of beautiful and spiritual -- [ applause ] i agree with you, by the way. i'd like to talk about our relationship for a minute. >> okay. >> jimmy: now, this is a weird thing. and i promise, everything i'm going to tell you is true and you know all this stuff, but my first job on television, first thing i ever did was a promo for "party of five," your show. [ applause ] i did not meet you at that time. we didn't meet but it was a thing i did when you were on fox. and so that was the first thing i'd ever done. so then years later we met in hawaii, and i was a big fan of the show. i was very excited. we met there and we've known each other for five, six years, something like that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so one night, we're talking, and we start talking about italy, your wife is from italy and my family is from italy and -- >> talking about pasta sauces and our moms, the type of pasta sauce they make. >> jimmy: exactly. or gravy, if you will. if you're from brooklyn. >> right. >> jimmy: and i said, where is
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your family from in italy, and you said -- >> well, my family is from a small island off the coast of naples. >> jimmy: and i said, my family is from iskia, a small island off the coast of naples. >> and then you said, what was your mother's maiden name, and i said yakano. >> jimmy: we say akano, which is my mother's maiden name, also. which is strange. >> very, very bizarre. >> jimmy: and then i realized why -- i always wondered why i was so handsome, and i thought, oh, that's got to be -- that's what it is. [ applause ] >> you know? right. >> jimmy: i've been doing some ancestry research, and i have a chart now to show how and where we're related. now i'm going to go through this. now, first of all, we'll see here. let's start at the top. now, this is, like, your -- what is it, four great grandfathers.
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yours is anielle iacono, and mine is guiseppe antonio iacono. three greats. saveri and michelangelo. you had a michelangelo in the family then. another giuseppe and another aniello. which seem to be the way it goes. there are only six names in italy. vincenzo and leonardo. this is our great-grand -- these are our great-grandfathers. that's my grandfather, sal iacono, and yours, loreto iacono. and now we see here where the connection starts. my grandfather was married to vivica a. fox, okay? they gave birth to my mom, joan fox iacono. my mom married jimmy dean sausage kimmel. and then they had me and i threw megan fox in there, because i thought it would be fun to have her at the reunion.
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>> fantastic idea. >> jimmy: now the link between us, michael j. fox was my uncle or something, and then -- >> it's actually jimmy -- >> jimmy: the "j" stands for jimmy. there's your mom. we couldn't get a picture of her so we just put you in a wig. eventually it works out. when you go down, you have -- it turns out you're my great great-niece, once removed. so isn't that something? >> makes perfect sense. [ applause ] >> jimmy: and -- can i tell you -- this is a true weird thing. so, now, in iskia, this island, there have been many earthquakes on the island. and that's weird that there's an island, the "lost" island brought us together. in 1883, there was an earthquake that killed like 2,200 people, including most of my family. but guess what the date of that
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earthquake was. today. july 29th. >> july 29th, 1883 -- >> jimmy: yeah. i mean, it didn't happen today. >> but on this day. >> jimmy: on the day we decided to go through the family tree, that's the day of the earthquake. >> that's strange. >> jimmy: what i'm saying is, make sure you have your emergency supplies. >> because it's coming. >> jimmy: isn't that weird? >> pretty weird. >> jimmy: now this is -- [ applause ] this is the whole thing, right? i mean -- have you seen this yet? >> i have. >> jimmy: this is pretty great. this is all the seasons on blu-ray and dvd, and it comes in this cool looking box and a lid with a map on it. this is -- >> and there's all kinds of crazy secrets inside this thing. it's like a puzzle and you have to go through it, clues lead to other clues and you find secret discs and secret scenes. >> jimmy: this is great. here's the game with the black rocks and the white rocks and a game board here.
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and -- and a booklet and the game that jacob was playing with the man in black. i can't figure -- there it is. that's how it works. and then you've got -- you got this in here, a little light that's -- >> a black light. there's going to be clues revealed with black light when you shine black light on it. >> jimmy: it's good if you go to a motel and you want to check out the sheets. [ applause ] and there's -- there's a letter that has clues on it. and there's -- what is this? there's -- oh, this is an old jcpenney ad that you did. >> you've got to be kidding. >> jimmy: that's in all of them. and then, of course, all the dvds. and there are easter eggs on the dvds. and a 12-minute thing where hurley -- do you know about this? michael emerson, there's a 12-minute featurette --
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>> there's extra scenes shot about what their life would have been like on the island with him being the new candidate and ben being his sidekick, yeah. >> jimmy: and we happen to have a clip from -- this is one of the easter eggs, and we're going to show you. this is not part of the ben and hurley thing, but this is -- well, take a look here. this is from the new "lost" complete series. dvd and blue ray. >> sandwich conversation on film right here, come on. >> the -- it has a certain, kind of like coming home from school at 3:00 in the afternoon quality. just cheese and mayonnaise on white bread. >> you're absolutely right. >> nice combination. >> it is a nice combination.
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it's nostalgic. >> yes. >> jimmy: wow, that's -- [ applause ] matthew fox, everybody. hey, you better win an emmy this year. if you don't, shame on -- shame, shame, shame on you voters. "lost," the complete sixth season and "lost" the complete series on dvd and blue ray august 24th. matthew fox. we'll be right back with josh hutcherson.
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oh. see that? great job. ok, now let's get ready for the ball... here it comes... here you go. good catch. perfect! alright now for the best part. let's see your pour. ohhh...let's get those in the bowl. these are way too good to waste, right? oh, yea. let's go for it... around the bowl and... [ male announcer ] share what you love... with who you love. mmmmm. kellogg's frosted flakes... they're g-r-r-reat! good catch, dad. [ laughs ]
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but what were the results? fact: brown promised to improve schools. but the drop out rate increased 50%, and the state had to take over the schools. fact: the city controller found employees paid for 22,000 hours... they never worked. fact: brown promised to cut crime. but murders doubled, making oakland the 4th most dangerous city in america. jerry brown. he just can't deliver the results california needs now. it's great, unexpected.
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in fact, since i've been drinking it, i went and got this. whoa! i know what you mean. since i tasted it, i went and got this. whoa. [ bottle fizzes ] [ gulping ] [ screeches ] [ glass shattering ] [ chirps ] [ male announcer ] the taste of diet mountain dew is a powerful thing. diet tastes better on the mountain. >> jimmy: hello there, we're back. still to come, the swell season. our next guest at age 17 has already costarred with tom hanks, robin williams, jeff daniels and will ferrell. nothing to look forward to, honestly. his latest movie is the critically acclaimed "the kids are all right" is in theaters now. please say hello to josh hutcherson. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: how is everything? >> it's been really good. >> jimmy: life is going well? >> great. >> jimmy: you've been here a couple of times before. we've seen you grow up before our eyes. >> magic, right. >> jimmy: you're 17 now. >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: do you have a girlfriend or anything? >> oh, man. i've come to the conclusion that actresses are all crazy. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> but i can't stay away, is the problem, so i just -- >> jimmy: did you think actresses are crazier than actors? >> it's a different kind of crazy. very different. we're both not okay. i know that much. >> jimmy: so does that make a bad combination, do you think? >> it's an interesting combination. makes for a really fun time and really bad times as well. but, you know, it's something i'm going to have to deal with all my life, i feel like. >> jimmy: well, what a cross you have to bear. >> i know. >> jimmy: you graduated already? >> last year. >> jimmy: oh, you went -- home schooling, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: was the graduation ceremony in your kitchen or something? >> it was, yeah.
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no, no graduation ceremony. after i graduated, they told me i had to work longer hours, i didn't get any breaks. >> jimmy: do you feel like you missed going to school and that experience? >> well, sort of. i tried going back to high school for one semester, that's all i lasted. it was horrible. >> jimmy: what happened? >> i had to get up early every day. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> i slept to 3:00 and then i have to get up at 6:00 a.m. and stay in a classroom -- >> jimmy: you sleep until 3:00 in the afternoon? >> most days, yes. >> jimmy: oh, my god. wow. wow. do you -- rarely see the sun. you're like a vampire. >> i am. without the cool parts. just the sleeping part. >> jimmy: you are originally from kentucky, and your dad lives in kentucky? >> my dad and brother. >> jimmy: so, do you go back there a lot? >> i do. i was just back home for the fourth of july and we have this giant kentucky-style fourth of july party with lots of fireworks and me and my friends and mom drove across the country, up through yellowstone
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and all the way down through pismo beach. it was pretty -- >> jimmy: nice, nice. a lot of fun if mom wasn't with you. >> here's the thing. i wanted to camp. i wanted to rough it, but my mom wanted to stay in hotels. some nights she did decide to camp, she had to have an air mattress in the tent. not only an air mattress, but it had to have ipod speakers built into it, with wifi. so it was like -- >> jimmy: wifi? >> all camping sites across the u.s. have wifi now. very frustrating. i want to rough it. i have to check my facebook status. >> jimmy: you are forced to, once there's wifi. >> you have no excuse. >> jimmy: you're not going to check it? >> exactly, exactly, yeah. >> reporter: so, yeah, so you can actually, instead of looking at a real rainbow, you can look at the double rainbow -- >> no way. oh, my god, full rainbow. i love that video so much. >> jimmy: so, you didn't do much real camping or you did -- >> i left them a lot. me and my friend andre and my little brother conner, we want to real campgrounds and they went to random hotels. >> jimmy: so when you go back to kentucky, are they excited that
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you're in movies and -- >> yeah, i think they're kind of used to it now because i come back and forth so much since i was 9 years old. i know everybody there, i guess. i'm a kentucky colonel in -- kentucky and an executive judge in davies county. >> jimmy: wait a minute, what, you're a colonel? >> i'm a colonel, yes, sir. >> jimmy: like colonel sanders? >> yes, exactly. >> jimmy: how does that work? how can you be a center? >> they send you a paper in the mail and say you're a colonel. >> jimmy: i would like to be a colonel. >> get on it. >> jimmy: you're an actual colonel? >> it's hanging on my wall back home very proudly. >> jimmy: could you be sent over to iraq? >> we'll see. haven't called yet. you never know. >> jimmy: and you're a what, what's the other thing? >> i'm a davies county executive judge and i have a gavel that says davies county executive judge on it. >> jimmy: what does that entitle you to? >> i have no idea. >> jimmy: like, if you were arrested, could you try yourself and let yourself out? >> in davies county, perhaps. i don't know. >> jimmy: that's pretty great. you're an executive judge.
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>> yeah. >> jimmy: that means not real judge. it's like executive golf course, right? >> exactly, yeah. >> jimmy: that sounds all right. now, you're in this new movie, people are raving about this movie. and -- well, tell people about what the idea of the film is. >> it's a film like a modern family with two moms, instead of the traditional mom and dad, and just being a family and going through the problems that my family goes through and everybody else's family in the world does. >> jimmy: but with two moms. >> with two moms. yes. >> jimmy: who are married. >> who are married, yeah. >> jimmy: and we have a clip. you play their son, and your name in the movie is -- >> laser. >> jimmy: laser. >> american gladiators style. >> jimmy: do we need to set up the clip? >> it's pretty self-explanatory. >> jimmy: "the kids are all right." in theaters now. >> laser, your mom and i sense there's some other stuff going on in your life. we just want to be let in. >> what do you mean? >> are you having a relationship with someone? >> you can tell us, honey.
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we would understand and support you. >> look, i -- i only met him once. >> what do you mean once? >> did he find you online? >> wait, who? >> paul. >> who is paul? >> i met him with joanie. >> why was joanie there? >> she set it up. >> forget the set-up. who is paul? >> our sperm donor. did you guys think i was gay? >> jimmy: "the kids are all right" is in theaters now. josh hutcherson, everybody. we'll be right back with the swell season. ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] bursting with mouth-watering real fruit
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oh, yes there is. [ angelic chorus ]
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fish: see? you're on the bright side already-- green tea with citrus, sunny day. so...if it's cool with you, i'm gonna go for a quick swim. heh. be right back. [grunts] announcer: lipton--drink on the bright side. fish: hey!
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p@ jack, the chicken sto show you the realnew combo. i don't wanna jinx it but, i think we totally nailed it. we call it the "big chicken sandwich combo." what do you think? now it's really big. it's jack's really big chicken sandwich combo. not one but two delicious chicken patties, topped with bacon and melting cheese, served with seasoned curly fries and a drink for only $3.99. wow... great. now i'm gonna have to rewrite the jingle.
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>> jimmy: well, this is their latest album. it's called "strict joy." here with the song "the rain," the swell season. ♪ ♪ just before the rain came down ♪ ♪ the sun came out at last ♪ and as for all assumptions made ♪ ♪ and questions never asked ♪ i know we're not where i promised you we'd be by now ♪ ♪ but maybe it's a question of who'd want it anyhow ♪
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♪ ♪ even now the rainbows seem closer to your hand ♪ ♪ and doesn't know where to stop the measure of a man ♪ ♪ okay we're not what i promised you we would become ♪ ♪ but maybe it's a question of how much you really want ♪ ♪ have you had enough ♪ had enough ♪ there's plenty more where that came from now ♪
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♪ you're feeling lost ♪ swallowed up ♪ we've got hours on you now ♪ ♪ just before the rain came down ♪ ♪ the sun came out at last ♪ and as for all assumptions made ♪ ♪ and questions never asked ♪ ♪ i know we're not where i promised you we'd be by now ♪ ♪ okay we're not what i promised
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you we would become ♪ ♪ had enough ♪ you had enough ♪ there's plenty more where that came from now ♪ ♪ feel lost ♪ swallowed up ♪ we got hours on you now ♪ you're still on top ♪ crawling up
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♪ we got hours on you now ♪ just want still up ♪ crawling up ♪ we got hours on you now
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