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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 15, 2011 12:05am-1:05am PST

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here are some things that i'll make as little portals. honestly, i'd love to do this for the rest of my life so i've got to take care of my heart. for me, cheerios is a good place to start. [ male announcer ] got something you'll love to keep doing? take care of your heart. you can start with cheerios. the natural whole grain oats can help lower cholesterol. brrrbb... makes you feel ageless. [ male announcer ] it's time. love your heart so you can do what you love. cheerios. [ bob ] squak. time now for tonight's closing argument. in the tucson shooting, the gunman fired a clock 19 semiautomatic pistol. the standard magazine for that pistol holds up to 15 bullets. but the gunman was able to buy a larger magazine, one holding 33 bullets. the larger magazine means he was
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able to get off more shots before reloading, which he was prevented from doing. these larger magazines were illegal under the 1994 assault weapons ban which expired in 2004. so, tonight, we wanted to ask you, should extended magazines be outlawed again? we've hear from many of you on facebook and twitter tonight, but please join the conversation at the "nightline" facebook page or the "nightline" page at and finally tonight, we would like to once again invite you to watch "this week with christiane amanpour" sunday for a special town hall meeting in tucson. should be interesting. but that's our report for tonight. for all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> jimmy: hi there, i'm jimmy kimmel. tonight, "the mentalist" simon baker is here. we have music from lloyd banks. and with the premiere of "jersey shore" less than 24 hours away, snooki is here. and she brought her twin sister franki. snooki and franki. it's our polizziest show yet. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two
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sundays are just for watching football. believe that? [ thinking ] relax. you ordered off mcdonald's dollar menu at breakfast. everything's so good and just a buck. so go. he's a jerk. [ thinking ] the simple joy of being smart. ♪ ♪ talking about nutrition [ female announcer ] "i can't believe it's not butter" with no trans fat and 70% less saturated fat than butter. butter taste, better health.
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- simon baker. from "jersey shore," author nicole "snooki" polizzi. and music from lloyd banks. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, for what it's worth, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: thank you, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for everything you've done so far. please, i have to make this quick. i want to go home and play with my singamajigs. as of tonight, as of right now, in fact, no one is allowed to say happy new year anymore. it's enough. [ applause ] the new year is six days old. if the new year was shrimp, it would be spoiled by now. so tomorrow, if someone says happy new year, don't be rude, just say, "no, not anymore." in washington, the 112th congress was sworn in this morning, with republicans taking control of the house for the first time in four years. and republicans say their plan is to stick to a strict interpretation of the original constitution, so, i hope you didn't like voting, women and non-whites. they're also hoping to cut back on government regulation of wall street, which is good, i mean, i think we can all agree that wall
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street does a pretty good job of policing itself, so -- [ laughter ] republican congressman john boehner of ohio became speaker of the house today. he really is tan. i mean, i know people joke about it, but the man, his face is an unusual color. it's -- the last speaker, nancy pelosi, has a frozen face. john boehner has an orange face. you put them together, you've got the cream-cicle of the house. his swearing in today was broadcast live on facebook, which could lead to huge farmville subsidies. and as is the tradition, whenever john boehner appears in public, he cried today. there he is. he cries a lot. we might have to build an ark, he cries so much. outgoing speaker nancy pelosi ceremonially passed the gavel. not since judge wapner gave way to marion millian has there been this much anticipation for a gavel-passing.
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nancy was very cordial and friendly handing over, essentially handing over her job, but boehner showed almost right away he means business. >> i now pass this gavel and the sacred trust that goes with it to the new speaker. god bless you, speaker boehner. [ laughter ] unsportsmanlike conduct is what that is. you know what, i think -- [ cheers and applause ] i think they might just be crazy enough to make it, those two. we're not the only country with political squabbles. newly released wikileaks documents, which are apparently still coming out, though this guy is, i don't know where, claim mahmoud ahmadinejad was slapped in the face after he suggested lifting government sanctions on the press in 2009. you know, they don't let the press report anything they don't want reported over there. and according to a diplomatic cable the head of the revolutionary guard was so angry, he slapped him. it's like a three stooges movie over there. this is what we're afraid of? ahmadinejad today said that
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never happened, which is also what he said about the holocaust, so -- [ laughter ] and late today, some very interesting video footage was released. >> not for me. from every woman in america. >> jimmy: you see here -- pretty clearly, she slapped him, you know? just in case you were wondering. here in the united states, two winning tickets were sold for the big mega-millions jackpot. did anybody buy tickets for this thing? [ applause ] yeah? well, i know why you're clapping. you're all losers. when the jackpot got up to $380 million, all over the country, there were huge lines to buy tickets before the deadline. which -- this makes no sense to me. what, the usual $40 million jackpot isn't enough for you to get in? i don't get out of bed for less than $300 million, i'm sorry. wouldn't it be funny if oprah had won? we'd have to kill her, right? this is something.
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four of the six winning numbers matched the mysterious numbers on "lost." for real. i knew that wasn't the final episode. i knew there was -- it all makes sense now. magic lotto numbers, birds falling from the sky for no reason, a hawaiian president, an orange guy running congress. we're all dead right now. this is -- [ laughter ] only one of the winners has been identified, a woman in there she is. [ laughter ] she's -- planning a trip to australia to celebrate. by the way, there's another way you can make money at a convenience store, you can rob it. this was great. this was an attempted robbery of a store in virginia, using a weapon that i have not seen used before in a convenience store robbery situation. >> in virginia, a stickup with a big stick. check out this video showing a robber at a store tuesday using quite a large stick as his weapon of choice.
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he knocked the clerk to the floor, grabbed the cash, and that person, still on the loose. >> jimmy: the pinata bandit strikes again. [ laughter ] last night -- last night the season premiere of a new season of "the biggest loser" on nbc. this show is genius. because, where as a show like "american idol" -- they've already run out of good singers, we will never run out of fat people. they are our greatest natural so, this season, they have the contestants competing in teams. last night, they put the teams on a treadmill for a treadmill challenge and it was a big victory for the blue team of bob and arthur. >> hey. >> we're in the house. >> what place did you guys make it? >> not last. not last. >> black team. don and dan. how did you do? >> we finished. but we finished -- >> we finished dead last. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: there's a jolliness about them. notice they didn't put the black guys on the black team, because that would have been unacceptable. speaking of fat, according to the organization for economic cooperation and development, which is never, ever wrong, mexico is now the fattest country in the world. those sneaky bastards. [ applause ] they distracted us with their talking chihuahuas and took our title away. 70% of mexican adults are said to be overweight or obese. i think the problem might be mexican food. i think -- when you're national dish is the burrito, 70% actually seems low. maybe refrying things is not a good thing. one fry, to me, one round of frying seems like enough, but -- here's the story this morning from cnn. >> according to the organization for economic development, nearly 70% of adults in mexico are overweight or obese.
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this is the highest rate in the world. the mexican government launched a campaign last year urging people to exercise, drink more water and eat fruits and vegetables. in the last 30 years, the percentage of overweight or obese mexicans has tripled, and the problem starts early. >> hi, jimmy! >> jimmy: don't listen to them, guillermo. you look great. [ applause ] like a tie on loan from laurel and hearty hardy or something. i don't know, maybe mexicans are becoming everweight so they can sneak across the border disguised as americans. you ever think of that? the number one new year's resolution is always to lose weight. this time around, we have help from "jersey shore." the situation has a workout dvd that will presumably make you look just like him. you do some simple exercises and repeat the words situation and
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pretty much over and over again. >> all right, guys, this is pretty much why you bought this dvd. pretty much the recipe for, guess what, the situation, okay? and pretty much for my situation, to your situation, i'm pretty much showing you and pretty much demonstrating the exact recipe, directions, of my pretty much exercises from a to z. we're about to make it happen, from my situation to your situation, you're that much closer to a situation. let's get down, let's make it happen. concentration on pretty much everything. the situation, you like that. so, pretty much, pretty much, pretty much. situation. situation. situation. situation. situation. pretty much. i got an even better situation over here. situation. this is your situation. i'm the situation. she's the situation. and you're the situation. we got a little situation.
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pretty much the situation. the situation. the situation special. the situation's situation special. pretty much. we just finished the situation's workout. you're closer to your situation. situation, hope you have a great situation. situation's out. >> jimmy: congratulations to the situation. [ cheers and applause ] amazing. you know, he came this close to and -- [ laughter ] tomorrow night, the much anticipated premiere of a new season of "jersey shore." and i say much anticipated because around here, we can't wait for this. the kids are back in jersey, and they're getting rid of the fake jobs they had in the first two seasons. at the t-shirt and gellato shops. this season, they are just going to have them all work as hookers on the street, so -- [ laughter ] and the other big development, and there is another one, they brought in
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a new house mate. >> jersey shore! jersey shore! >> the new season of "jersey shore" is hotter than ever. more parties, more fun. more drama. >> you are a [ bleep ] -- >> and introducing a new house mate. snooki's twin sister, franki four eyes. >> i am so enthused to be on the show. i like music and i love to dance. i can solve a rubix cube in 17.3 seconds. i enjoy gtl. gardening, tea and literature. i want to have a skill with the opposite sex. >> but that's okay, franki, i'll
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teach you. >> snooki got the looks in the family. >> well, you know what, you got the talent. she plays the clarinet. >> who put the pickle in my clarinet? >> loser! you nerd! >> it all happens on "jersey shore." >> jimmy: well, i think this is going to be the best -- one of we have a good show tonight. snooki is here with us tonight. we have music from lloyd banks. and we'll be right back with "the mentalist," simon baker, so stick around. [ female announcer ] what will you gain when you lose? i would consider the scale my frenemy. ♪ [ woman ] i don't like scales. i've been avoiding this. pride?
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courage! i like this. [ woman ] that's what it should say! [ female announcer ] take the special k challenge. lose up to six pounds in two weeks, and see what you gain. with the special k challenge, you can have the cereal you love and so much more. design your free, personalized plan at with listerine®whitening plus restoring rinse. it's the only listerine® that gets teeth two shades whiter and makes tooth enamel two times stronger. get dual-action listerine® whitening rinse. building whiter, stronger teeth. >> ( beeping ) ( beeping stops ) >> announcer: free is better. do your simple return for free with the federal free edition at turbotax. the most trusted brand of tax software. [ male announcer ] it's a new year and time for a fresh start. man: what are you gong to have? -realburger. -double glazed ribs. -house sirloin. i'm going to have one of tese under 550 calorie meals. [ laughs ]
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twizzlers. the twist you can't resist. >> jimmy: thank you, cleto. welcome back.
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tomorrow night, on mtv, the return of "jersey shore." here tonight to talk about that, and her new novel, "a shore thing," nicole "snooki" polizzi is here. i think. it's hard to tell because she's small. i was up all night reading this thing. you want to hear a little bit of it? [ applause ] really? [ applause ] "it's your fault, linda, you did this. you. if you hadn't spiked those jell-o shots, we wouldn't be here right now. rocky told you what you did, both of you. look what you did to me. linda unzipped her sweatshirt. bella said, it looks really happy. i'm stuck with this for a week, railed linda, big deal, said gia. what you did to me caused real physical pain for hours. i had bruise marks on my thighs from riding the toilet all night." and i'm going to stop right there. you can read the rest at home.
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[ applause ] good bedtime story for the kids. then later, making his third appearance on our show, this is his new album, "hmf 2, the hunger for more," lloyd banks is here. from the bud light stage. tomorrow night on the show, from "the fighter," amy adams will be here. from "glee," chris colfer. and we'll have music from young the giant. so join us them. our first guest tonight, this man comes from australia, a country different than ours. his show is called "the mentalist" on cbs. it thursday nights at 10:00. please welcome simon baker. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm good, how are you? >> jimmy: doing well. good to see you. >> you, too. >> jimmy: i ran into you
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somewhere and we had one of those, like, hey, we're both on tv, what's going on? moments. >> weird moments. >> jimmy: you feel like you should know each other or something. but you don't. >> no, that's strange. >> jimmy: now we do. >> i've had a few of those. >> jimmy: you have? >> it's like, hey -- >> jimmy: hey, what's up? watch you on tv. >> what did you do for christmas? >> jimmy: wait a minute. whose show do you think this is? >> exactly. >> jimmy: what part of australia are you from? when you tell me, i'm not going to know where it is. but i want to know. >> you know what australia looks like? >> jimmy: i've seen it on the globe, yeah. >> draw it for me. >> jimmy: all right. hold on a second. let me just draw it for you. give me one second, okay? it looks something like this, right? >> that's very good. very good. >> jimmy: i think -- >> i'm from this part here.
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>> jimmy: which part? >> i think i would be from this part. >> jimmy: you're from the foot? how about that? >> which -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: what part is that called? >> it's called t eed tazmania. >> jimmy: i didn't know it existed for real. i thought it was a bugs bunny cartoon thing. >> it was exploited. >> jimmy: is it like a wild part of australia? >> yeah, you know, it's an island off the bottom there. it's not actually connected. >> jimmy: it's connected to the foot of the thing? and what do people do there? what's the activity there? >> they call it the apple isle. they grow apples. >> jimmy: apples. oh. >> they make good beer. they have tasmanian devils. which is the cartoon. >> jimmy: the little things. you ever run into one of those? do they spin around like a tornado? >> no, they don't. no. >> jimmy: were you proud of the tasmanian devil as, like, being a hometown boy made good? >> i never really got it. because he's american.
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so i never really got it. but i was just born there and i wasn't raised there. i moved to the mainland pretty much after that. >> jimmy: as a kid, did you go there for christmas? do you go back? is it like -- >> i go to australia, i was just there for christmas. >> jimmy: okay, good. and your family is still there? >> yeah, they are. my mom and dad. >> jimmy: are the traditions the same for christmas as they are here? >> yeah, you know, it's summer, so it's a lot warmer, so, you know, a lot of people will still roast a turkey but it's kind of a little too hot for that. you know, we have -- we had christmas dinner, was prawns, you guys call them shrimp. and oysters. >> jimmy: i like that. really? >> and -- >> jimmy: so, was food poisoning a big tradition there? hot weather and oysters and -- that sounds all right to me. and santa comes down the chimney? >> up the chimney. everything is backwards. >> jimmy: is that right? it's amazing.
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and when you go out, do you have -- >> people ask you if you have a problem if you're not drinking. >> jimmy: yeah. there is a lot of -- do you think -- is that a myth or do more people drink more there? >> i noticed before that, i think, the sixth fattest nation in the world, australians. >> jimmy: congratulations. you're moving up. >> impressive. i think most of that is probably from beer consumption. they drink a lot. it's ridiculous. >> jimmy: you as a kid -- >> as a kid, you know, i was just like any other kid, pushing the boundaries. >> jimmy: what boundaries? >> the boundaries of adolescence, my friend. >> jimmy: were you a good kid? >> i was very, you know, i was an altar boy. >> jimmy: you were? yeah. so was i, so that doesn't say a whole lot. >> i hide behind that one. i was not -- >> jimmy: were you a good student? >> i lived a block from the school. literally a block. and my parents both had left in the morning before i went to school, so the first bell would
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go off. that was my alarm clock. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. and if i hadn't just fallen asleep in the clothes that i was in the night before, i had to wear a school uniform, i would put on the clothes and i could get there by the second bell and -- >> jimmy: so the answer is no, you were not a good student. >> i thought that was pretty efficient. >> jimmy: i guess so. >> it depends. >> jimmy: did you get good grades? did you study? >> i did, when it came to the time of kids learning to drive, i didn't have a car, my parents, you know, lived off the smell of an oily rag. i had a mate that had a car. i would walk in one side of the school, get my -- go to roll call on the way through, go straight through to the other side and get in the car and we'd go surfing all day. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> i thought i was in control, which is, you know, the mistake that a lot of teenagers make. until stuvac, which is study vacation, two weeks you get
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before you, before your final exams, and during that two weeks it was sort of the reckoning. i realized every book i opened, the horror just started to rattle me. you know, the more i tried to learn, the more i realized i didn't know and i hadn't paid -- >> jimmy: what did you do after high school? did you say, i'm going to be an actor and i'm going to move and become famous? >> no, i grew up in a town where six guys to one girl. you didn't sort of put your hand up, say, hey, i want to be an actor. >> jimmy: really? >> it was not exactly sort of a macho profession. >> jimmy: what would you say? i'm going to be a prisoner? >> yeah. i mean, what happens? >> jimmy: six to one? >> find a woman. >> jimmy: what were they doing with the women? >> that was just it. so it was a pretty kind of rough area. pretty physical area. you either sort of went off to university, you went off to college to study business or economics or something like that or you took over your father's business. and i wasn't a great student, so
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my sister was a fantastic, older sister was a fantastic student. she went on to be a doctor. >> jimmy: oh, really? follow in her footsteps because they thought i was as bright as she was. [ laughter ] they were mistaken. maybe they were. look at me now. anyway. so i convinced them that i would become a nurse -- >> jimmy: as a joke or for real? >> i played it pretty straight. in front of them. >> jimmy: in front of them, yeah. >> so i would become a nurse and sort of back door my way into a medical degree. >> jimmy: hold on a second. >> easy. that brings me to the statistics it's a numbers game. >> jimmy: so you actually went to nursing school? >> i went for three months. >> jimmy: really. >> what you have to understand is, i grew up in a place where there's six guys to one girl. my best mate and i, we had about the same grades. he was the guy that had the car that i was going surfing with.
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we figured that the olds were really good for a hetero sexual nursing student, it was 85% women. 80% of the men who did it were gay. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> so i would have to -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: that leaves you in a pretty good mathematical situation. >> so -- like i said, i don't think i was that bad a student. yeah? >> jimmy: that's why they call you the mentalist. >> it all went well. went very well, except for the nursing. >> jimmy: and the show is doing great. you're not nursing. you were able to give nursing up. >> i gave it up after three months, actually. >> jimmy: how old were you when you came to l.a.? >> 26. >> jimmy: 26. >> no, i came over with my wife and my -- my 2 1/2-year-old daughter. and i stayed, literally, three blocks from here. >> jimmy: oh, really? and what did you make of california when you got here? >> people called me dude a lot.
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a lot of dude stuff. i thought it was -- i thought that was in those "bill and ted" movies. >> jimmy: that's what we think about mate, too, by the way. but people say it. it's real. >> it's unfortunate. >> jimmy: i like being called mate. it makes me feel like we're friends. >> my son harry calls me dude. it's 9, he calls me, he goes, "dude dad." >> jimmy: dude dad? >> he puts my name on the end because he knows i don't really like it. so, he goes, "dude dad." >> jimmy: by the way if you ever do a show after "the mentalist," i love the title "dude dad." that would be good. i think there's a dude dad parade in pasadena every year. the show is very popular. it's doing great. you just got renewed and all that stuff, and -- [ cheers and applause ] i mean, it's phenomenal. and i guess the lesson, i mean, if there is a lesson, really, it's don't bother going to school. right? >> yeah, i don't think there's a lesson.
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>> jimmy: there isn't a lesson? >> it doesn't always have to be a lesson. >> jimmy: that is the lesson. simon baker, everybody. "the mentalist," thursday nights at 10:00 on cbs. we'll be right back with snooki. ♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: hello there, we're back. still to come, lloyd banks will be here. our next guest is shot into the television stratosphere like a tiny pickle-fueled rocket. she's the star of "jersey shore" on mtv and author of this novel called "a shore thing." please welcome america's sweetheart, nicole "snooki" polizzi. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: everything all right? >> freaking awesome. >> jimmy: it is? are you excited? the new season -- the new season, you shot, like, in 1998 or something, right? it happened awhile ago, huh? >> no, it happened in september. we wrapped in september, so, i think it's the craziest summer we've ever had. >> jimmy: do you really? in what way? >> there was a lot more drama and, you know, hookups and stuff like that. >> jimmy: it seemed like when the first episode and there's a lot of fighting going on. was that the intention when you brought your friend deena in, you said, she's really going to mix things up, i mean, it's really going to get crazy if she's in there? >> i just wanted deena because i really wanted somebody to bring the party back, i guess? because in miami we were clashing heads and stuff like that. i wanted to go to jersey and just party. >> jimmy: when you are thinking about bringing the party back, did my name ever enter your
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head? >> honestly, i would love for you to come to the shore. >> jimmy: i would -- >> i would have you sleep in my bed and that's it. >> jimmy: that sounds like a decent job. >> that's fun. >> jimmy: so, deena comes and the group, did they know she was going to be there? >> no, nobody knew. >> jimmy: was it your idea to bring her in? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you went to the producers, you said -- >> well, after angelina left, i was like, i need somebody else in the house that's, like, fun, so, i said, deena, and they let me bring her. >> jimmy: did they review her and make sure she was up to their standards? >> well, they trusted me, so -- >> jimmy: wow. really? wow. did any of the other people try to get their friends into the house? >> um -- i don't think so. >> jimmy: you don't, really? >> just me. >> jimmy: do you worry when you go back home there are going to be other friends that say, get me into the house, too. >> oh, no. my friends aren't like that. my friends are just like, good for you, but i have my own life. >> jimmy: that is nice to have that. let's take a look at a clip --
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this is deena on her first day at the house. >> you [ bleep ] -- >> [ bleep ] you. [ bleep ] you. [ bleep ] you. >> you don't want to piss off deena like that, because, even though we're tiny bitches, i don't give a [ bleep ]. i will attack you like a squirrel monkey. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: squirrel monkey? i think they're pretty gentle. i don't think they attack. >> i had a little drinks before that interview, so -- >> jimmy: speaking of drinks, you were arrested during this season for some nonsensical thing like annoying people on the beach? >> yeah. >> jimmy: we actually get to see that arrest, i saw in the credits. >> you do. >> jimmy: wow. that's something to have. >> it's funny. if everyone got arrested for being annoying, we'd all be in jail, so -- i don't get it. >> jimmy: i probably would have been given the death penalty a very long time ago. now, have you completed your community service? >> yeah. i actually had to scrub the cells that i stayed in and there was puke and [ bleep ]
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everywhere. >> jimmy: was it your puke? >> no, somebody else's. i had to clean that up. >> jimmy: don't you wish you had puked while you were in there so someone else had to clean up? >> i think i actually -- i did my share. >> jimmy: you did? >> i was punching the walls, get me out of here. >> jimmy: it's kind of the circle of life. >> the seaside circle of life. >> jimmy: hakuna matata, if you will. >> exactly. >> jimmy: so that's over with. are you on probation or anything like that? >> no, no. i'm not a criminal. >> jimmy: you don't have to worry about that. and are you guys going to have jobs this season? >> yeah. we work at the shore store again. >> jimmy: at the shore store? and do you really work at that store? >> we really do work at the store, yeah. >> jimmy: do you feel like, i mean, like, if you didn't show up, would they be, like, screwed or -- >> if we didn't show up we would get fired and then we would have to go home. >> jimmy: oh, please. >> i swear to god. because i tried to call many times and i couldn't. they were like, either you go or you leave.
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so i had to go. it's like a real job. >> jimmy: i would bet $1 million they wouldn't fire you. if you decided not to show up for that stupid fake job. >> well, i didn't want to take that chance, so -- >> jimmy: it's part of the fun, really, kind of doing that whole, that thing where you have to have some responsibility, though there's no way in the world you are ever going to work at a t-shirt shop, right? >> it was a fun job. you met guys, so -- >> jimmy: yeah. more appealing for you than me, but yeah, i understand what you're saying. so, speaking of guys, there was, like, there's a thing going on now, and, where you were angry, i don't want to ruin anything, people haven't seen, but this was in the preview. you were -- who are you angry at? vinnie? >> maybe. >> jimmy: maybe, yeah. because -- >> it's like, it's weird because i really liked him in miami and then seaside came along and it was just weird, so, i felt like he was trying to get with my friend deena, and it was just like, all right, whatever, i'm done with you, vinnie, and -- >> jimmy: and there was another friend involved, too, right?
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>> oh, ryder. yeah. vinnie and ryder hooked up. so, that was kind of like a slap in the face. >> jimmy: yeah, what's going on? >> i'll never get it. i -- i don't know. >> jimmy: you'll never get what? why vinnie is attractive to girls? >> oh, get real. vinnie's not that hot. >> jimmy: did you think vinnie -- it was going to be a relationship where you guys were, like, kind of exclusive to each other? >> no, nothing like that. i just didn't want vinnie to be hooking up with my friends, like, that's not okay. >> jimmy: it's hard to follow the rules, in vinnie's defense. i'm confused as to what they are. >> vinnie will get with anybody, so -- >> jimmy: have you come to terms with that? >> i'm so over it. >> jimmy: he seems like a nice guy. maybe the nicest one in the house, is that true? >> he's a really nice guy but he can't control his penis, so. >> jimmy: you hear that, guillermo? >> i'm over it. >> jimmy: vinnie can't control his penis. >> no. >> jimmy: send the telegram back home to let them know. >> i will.
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>> jimmy: let's talk about the book. i know it's based somewhat on you and your friends in the house -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: so vinnie is in here? >> vinnie is not in there but me and jenny are the main characters. >> jimmy: you and jenny are the main characters. it seems like there are a lot of parallels in here. >> there's a lot of stuff going on in that book. >> jimmy: did you actually write this book? >> i did. and i worked with a collaborator. while i was trying to get ideas for the book, i was filming in seaside, so we would get an hour a week on the phone with our people, our managers and stuff like that, so i would be like, all i want to do is talk about the book, i want this in there, that in there, i would proofread it and then -- >> jimmy: just as hemingway did it. >> who is hemingway? >> jimmy: he's a guy. he's an old guy that looks like santa. so there was somebody that typed it all out for you -- >> i gave her all the ideas and i just wanted her to put it like i wanted it to and if i didn't
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like it, i would make it over. >> jimmy: you would change it. did you argue with her? >> well, yeah, because she is a jersey girl so she kind of knew what i was talking about, but she's like, i think it should be this way, and i'm like, no. it's going to be this way. >> jimmy: you get the final say, because it's your name on the book. >> of course. >> jimmy: when you found out you'd be working with a ghost writer -- >> no ghost writer, sweetheart -- >> no, not mine. do you read what's in there? >> jimmy: i don't see her name on it. so that makes her a ghost writer, doesn't it? >> nope. read it and get back to me. >> jimmy: okay, all right, i will read it. i'll write you a little book report on it, let you know what i thought of it. and it's -- there's some dirty stuff in here. >> oh, yeah. i made sure that i calmed it down a little bit because i know, like, a lot of younger girls are going to want to read that, so -- i didn't want to be that bad of an example. >> jimmy: what books are you interested in? >> i definitely liked "dear john" and "twilight." >> jimmy: what is "dear john?" >> the movie.
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well, i saw the movie first and >> jimmy: who was in that movie? i don't even know. >> some hot guy -- channing -- >> jimmy: oh, channing tatum. okay. and do you have a boyfriend right now? >> i do. >> jimmy: you do? how is he reacting to your, this whole deal and your fame and watching the show? >> well, i met him while we were filming in seaside, so, he didn't really like the cameras, so i contacted him after we were done shooting -- >> jimmy: i think that's a good sign, by the way, that he doesn't want to be on the show. >> he has his own life. he doesn't want to be apart of my life at all -- >> jimmy: well, that might not be a good sign. >> what do you mean? no, not like that. i mean, like, you know, in the spotlight, i guess. >> jimmy: i got you. and you are still together? >> yeah. >> jimmy: does he get mad when he watches the show? >> no, but he might be jealous because he knows i think you're hot, so -- >> jimmy: oh, really. wow. he could probably beat me up. >> maybe. >> jimmy: well, let's keep that between us then. it's great to see you.
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i wish you the best of luck with the book and maybe it will become a series of books like james bond? you know? it's called "a shore thing." and "jersey shore" premieres on mtv tomorrow night. snooki, everybody. we'll be right back with lloyd banks. lightning fast. lightning strong. verizon 4g lte. rule the air on the most advanced 4g network in the world. here's the gum for the rest of the time. dentyne pure. it purifies your breath deliciously
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>> jimmy: all right, now with the song "beamer, benz or bentley" from his new album, "hm -- hfm 2, the hunger for
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more," lloyd banks. ♪ beamer, benz, or bentley beamer, benz, or bentley beamer, benz, or bentley my jeans are never empty ♪ ♪ beamer, benz, or bentley beamer, benz, or bentley beamer, benz, or bentley scheming don't affect me ♪ ♪ i'm fresh, i'm fly i'm so damn -- more than 500 horses when i roll by ♪ ♪ i'm calm, i'm cool, everything brand new i don't handcuff you can get your ♪ ♪ whole damn crew ♪ get in my beamer, benz, or bentley beamer, benz, or bentley i bet she let me ♪ ♪ she been feenin' since she met me i'm the coolest specially when i throw ♪ ♪ on all my gretzky got my -- and -- to protect me so respect me this is heavy, new bentley ♪ ♪ color vanilla and cherry andretti-o pirelli make a movie out the geaty where my ring ♪ ♪ and my confetti i'm kobe bryant ready pink rose and -- smelly while stumbling ♪ ♪ out the telly i'm so fly, i'm so ferry and the way i flow is very gansu or machete ♪ ♪ way my pencil move his deadly platinum band, platinum bezzie make a straight girl out of ♪ ♪ magazine -- benzie keep my windows like the prezzie press a button than i'm stuntin'
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my roof look like its duckin' ♪ ♪ meter go 200-something and my trunk do when its bumpin i am not the one for jumpin' i will -- out and stump him ♪ ♪ him, you're better off dead ya money red ♪ i'm fresh, i'm fly i'm always -- got ya -- waving at me when i roll by ♪ ♪ i'm calm, i'm cool everything brand new i don't handcuff you can get ♪ ♪ the whole damn crew get in my beamer, benz, or bentley beamer, benz, or bentley ♪ ♪ beamer, benz, or bentley my jeans are never empty beamer, benz, or bentley beamer, benz, or bentley ♪ ♪ beamer, benz, or bentley this scheming don't affect me ♪ ♪ south cider ♪ that's how i'm repping ♪ got the divas ♪ never want to protection ♪ my neck be looking excellent ♪ zero zero ♪ throw it in my direction ♪ there won't be no session ♪ holy water
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♪ make a groupie out your only daughter ♪ ♪ the homies want her ♪ you can see the things that used to get her ♪ ♪ gucci, louis bag ♪ i'm allergic ♪ carry mine too ♪ million dollars worth of cars ♪ ♪ they don't got room ♪ i'm fresh, i'm fly i'm always -- got ya -- waving at me when i roll by ♪ ♪ i'm calm, i'm cool everything brand new i don't handcuff you can get ♪ ♪ the whole damn crew ♪ i got a girl named kima and kima like christina baby three don't make a crowd it make a scene meaner ♪ ♪ i just wanna get -- her turn it over scream her than its one, two, i'm through see ya ♪ ♪ i scoop her in my beamer, benz or bentley beamer, benz, or bentley beamer, benz, or bentley ♪ ♪ beamer, benz, or bentley my jeans are never empty beamer, benz, or bentley beamer, benz, or bentley ♪ ♪ beamer, benz, or bentley this scheming don't affect me ♪
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