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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  May 6, 2011 12:00am-1:05am PDT

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stay with us, america. >> dicky: tonight on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: cinco de mayo celebrates the day that st. cinco drove the pinatas out. >> jimmy: would you pund that nail in for us? >> dicky: adam pally. and music from calexico. >> jimmy: 61% 0 americans think bin laden is in hell. and the other 39% think he's in bin laden is in hell. and the other 39% think he's in super hell.h@ bin laden is in hell. and the other 39% think he's in super hell.h@♪ ♪ free access to chase atm's wherever you are. that's a step forward. chase customers can avoid atm fees
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with over 16,000 nationwide. take a step forward and chase what matters.
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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a message from pepto bismol just in time for cinco de mayo. guillermo is outside getting a jump on the holiday right now on hollywood boulevard, where four innocent pinatas are about to be smashed. hola, guillermo. que pasa? >> hola, jimmy. feliz cinco de mayo! i am here to show you how to make the perfect cinco de mayo snack. >> jimmy: oh. and why are you yelling? >> oh, so you can hear me! >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> okay? >> jimmy: what do you have there on the plate? >> nachos. >> jimmy: all right. >> okay, and then, hold on. okay, first you put some beans. >> jimmy: some beans?
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>> yeah. >> jimmy: pinata beans? wow. it's like you're delivering a baby, guillermo. all right. we got some deans. >> and then you add cheese. >> jimmy: uh-huh. well, there you go. and then? >> and then some extra salsa, muy caliente. >> jimmy: and finally? >> last but not least -- guacamole. >> jimmy: brutally beating that p pepto. use your teeth, guillermo, if you have to. >> there you have it, jimmy. perfect dish for cinco de mayo! and if you over fiesta, pepto has you covered. >> dicky: smash your own piñata
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at "pepto piñata smash" at "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with chris hemsworth, adam pally and music from calexico. ♪ [ male announcer ] the davis twins... ...are alike in nearly every way... ...right down to brushing their teeth. so how did only one get gingivitis? well, one in two people do. so i told karen about new crest pro-health clinical gum protection toothpaste. it helps eliminate plaque at the gumline, helping prevent gingivitis. it's even clinically proven to help reverse it in just 4 weeks. and it protects these other areas dentists check most. looks like the twins are even again. new crest pro-health clinical toothpaste. life opens up when you do. bright, colorful screen, high-speed downloads, hd video. she'll want videos of grandkids. i'm not ready for kids. what would i name it ? brian's good. a brian will make eye contact,
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work with his hands, return e-mails. okay, mom's getting a phone. get mom a new samsung fascinate for $99.99 and unlimited data for only $29.99 on america's largest high-speed wireless network. verizon. is the next featured $5 footlong of the month! with tasty chicken, sweet apples and crunch-tastic celery, it's a bushel full o' flavor, and it's joining our many $5 footlongs! subway. eat fresh.
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we make it sizzle and snap. and now so can you. ♪ ignite the night with p.f. chang's home menu. the boldest flavors in the freezer aisle. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- thor, chris hemsworth. from "happy endings," adam pally. and music from calexico. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, what do you know, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: hola. well, thank you very much. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you, cleto. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. happy cinco de mayo. i sense a slight whiff of drunkenness in this group, am i right? as you all know, cinco de mayo celebrates the day st. cinco drove the pinatas out of tijuana. cinco de mayo commemorates the mexican army's victory over the french. but is any victory over the french really unlikely? cinco de mayo is kind of weird, because they don't celebrate it much in mexico but here in the united states it's a day of mexican heritage and pride because nothing fills mexicans with pride like watching white people edrink pom grand gnat margaritas. we turn everything into a drinking holiday. mark my words. in five years, we will be getting loaded on arbor day.
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we have music tonight to celebrate cinco de mayo, great band from tucson called calexico is here. [ applause ] if you are at home, having a party by yourself. guillermo, this should be the one day of the year you don't drink. wait a minute -- what is going on here? where's guillermo? >> i don't know, jim. i don't know. >> jimmy: excuse me for one second. i think -- i hear the music, so i know what's going on. ♪ what are you doing? that's great but you're supposed to be working right now. >> i cannot come tonight, i'm sick! yeah! >> jimmy: you're not sick.
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>> i'm sick. i'm sick of work, yeah! >> jimmy: we have -- we've got guests and we need security, you understand that, right? >> i have a guest, too, jimmy -- to thor! >> happy sin doe cinco de mayo. >> jimmy: that's not your guest, that's my guest. >> i'm sick, jimmy. >> jimmy: this is ridiculous. you need to get to work. you can wait until after the show. >> no. you are a party pooper, jimmy. >> jimmy: all right. >> come on, everybody, jimmy is a party pooper! ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right, well --
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apparently i'm a potty pooper. we'll get him later no celebrations tonight on "american idol," i'll tell you that. it was elimination night. tonight's elimination carried out by navy s.e.a.l.s. awesome. tonight jacob luks gsk got the . only three weeks away from electing and then ignoring a brand new "american idol." [ applause ] and then, while the number of contestants may be dwindling, steven tyler's libido is always on the rise. it's time now for what has become twice weekly tradition around here. steven tyler's creepy leer of the night. >> hot tickets are on sale next friday. may 13th. all right. right now, our top five are still happy together.
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watch this, let's give it up for them. >> jimmy: now he's coming onto us in our homes. charlie sheen made a big announcement on tuesday. his life tour is over but he told the crowd in seattle that he's planning to create a new tv show that will compete against "two and a half men." it's called "celebrity rehab" and -- [ laughter ] his co-star is a doctor named drew. and i think -- in the meantime, charlie is busy doing charity work. he started a website, called torpedos against tornadoes to help the victims of the natural disaster in alabama last week. some people are confused as to how he's going to be able to help. we put together this graphic to explain, because it is a good cause. when a tornado develops, when it forms, charlie sheen will be alerted. and his head will swoop in and snort the tornado. where it will deswirl inside his
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nose, posing no danger to anyone. he once got a cow stuck in his nostril. the death of osama bin laden continues to dominate both the news and my thoughts. i think about it all the time. there was a cnn poll released that said 61% of americans think bin laden is in hell. and the other 39% think he's in super hell. [ laughter ] fox 5 news in new york is doing a funny thing. it's called city rant. they let regular people go on tv and rant about something. last night, the subject was bin laden. >> tonight's city rant, we get joanne's take. >> talk about a kill shot. talk about literal an eye for an eye. i don't care if they got him above the eye, it's an eye for an eye. and i think he got a [ bleep ] good burial. at sea. everything has to be politically correct. we got to politically correctly bury him? he's infecting our sea life now. they should have shot this guy
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to the moon and dumped him in outer space. who the hell is he to get a proper burial? [ applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know. how is that -- how is that woman not related to me? i have no idea. get her a reality show immediately. president obama decided yesterday not to release photograph of osama bin laden's corpse and of course some people are criticizing that decision. sarah palin said he's pussyfooting. she would have bin laden's head stuffed and hanging in her den. there's a grup of people, first we had the birth ebirther, now the deters who don't believe osama bin laden is really dead. these are the same people, ironically, who think elvis is still alive. details continuing to trickle out about the mission that killed bin laden. the white house, you know, they're now saying bin laden wasn't armed. they said that he was originally.
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then they said they shot him, thought he was going for a weapon. now it's, well, you know, he was microwaving a lean cuisine and a butternut squash dinner. looked like he was loading a flame flower, so -- i don't know why they need to justify it. here's the message. we sent guys in to kill him. they killed him. he's dead. [ applause ] after doing the show this weekend, every time i mention bin laden's dead, the only thing that gets the same amount of enthusiasm is free t-shirts. i don't know what that says. the white house also revealed that the video feed obama and his staff were watching of the raid went out for 25 minutes which was almost the whole operation so they didn't see it happen. apparently michelle obama decided not to buy the premium package, which is hbo, cinemax and assassination feeds.
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we're also learning more about the mysterious navy s.e.a.l.s that carried the mission out. the men remain unidentified. administration officials are concerned that if they are outed, they could be high fived to death. the s.e.a.l.s, by the way -- [ applause ] the navy s.e.a.l.s, this is kind of cool, they brought a dog on the raid. they had a dog wearing body armor, they lowered him in by helicopter and i guess the plan was first they assassinate bin laden, then they bring the dog in to pee on him. which it did. heroically. in other important news, what an episode of "divorce court" last night. a woman named marie divorcing her husband jeff because she didn't like his motorcycle club. the biker life style was too much to handle. i think jeff put up a pretty good defense. >> i stopped going to the club. i don't -- why would i want to
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go somewhere where i can't express myself, i have to watch porn on tv. they have porn on their television all night long. >> that's respect for one of their brothers. >> i don't want to go there anybody. >> wait a minute. >> his name was porno bill. someone she very much respected. he got killed on his motorcycle. >> right. and so you play porno out of respect for porno bill. >> in his memory. >> jimmy: well, that is -- [ applause ] one of the most beautiful gestures i think i've ever witnessed. and we drink out of respect for dru drunko bob, too. poor porno bill. he died doing what he loved second best. i hope you're aware that mother's day is on sunday. here's a tip for all the new moms out there. if you want to ensure a life of good gifts from your children, don't pretend you love every macaroni necklace they give you. it confuses them. i got my mother a -- maybe i
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shouldn't say this. i got her a trip. i got her a vacation to beautiful abbottabad. it's -- they say it's lovely this time of year. later on, we scoured craigslist to find some items that your mother might like. and we invited the people who are selling these items to come to the show and we will showcase those beautiful items for you later on. before we get to that, it's time for a heartwarming mother's day story. this comes from the hollywood boulevard chewbacca. there's a group of characters that stand outside our building, taking pictures with tourists for tips, and tonight, one of our very favorites shares a fond memory of mother's day. >> i remember one of the best mother's days that i had, i think i was about 10 or 11 years old. i was at this flea marquette and i met this guy named rico. and he told me that he didn't have a mom because his mom died when he was really young. so i figured i could make his mother feel special so i said,
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i'll bring you to my house and you can share my mom. because she's got a lot of love, you know. there's enough of her for rico, too. so i brought him to my house and everything was going good. we had a picnic and he was funny. he told good jokes. it was a pretty good time, like, my mom seemed to like him and he seemed to like my mom's cooking. after mour's day ended, i was like, all right, rico, it's over. and he didn't want to leave. so, it was the next day, after mother's day, and i was playing with my toys and next thing i know, rico's knocking on the door. my mom answered and he was like, trying to impress my mom and i told him, i said, that's my mom, and my mom didn't fall for it. she was a lot smarter than that. but that wasn't the last we saw of rico. he would, like, hide outside of
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our house and we always knew he was there, because he would be making these weird noises, just like -- just like, totally crazy stuff. and he had an outfit on just like my outfit and that's when it hit me, i said, this rico guy's got to go. and we had to call the cops honoree coe. but i realized that's one of the best mother's days for me, because i realized now not to share my mom with stalkers like rico. and everything will be good. so -- happy mother's day, everybody out there, and mom, happy mother's day. [ applause ] >> jimmy: happy mother's day, chewbacca. and i now understand why you carry a cross bow. and one more thing. it's thursday night, it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc, where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or
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not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." last week, i determined that we had enough intelligence to take action. and authorized an operation to [ bleep ] osama bin laden. >> there is photos and video of bin laden's [ bleep ] head. >> he was seen on the party bus on the loud speaker just getting [ bleep ] up. >> what do you do to get the team motivated to win in dallas? >> i plan on [ bleep ] them tomorrow. >> ice loves [ bleep ]. series premieres sunday june 12th at 10:30. >> you are so sweet and adorable and [ bleep ] cute. >> she's smiling that wonderful smile. got her hand on his [ bleep ]. >> i don't note about you, but i just can't get enough of the [ bleep ]. >> not a good thing, especially on a first day, to choke the person you're [ bleep ]. >> tell me something about a cave man that a cave woman might think is sexy. >> how about his [ bleep ]? >> his [ bleep ].
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, we have a good show for you tonight. from asgard, thor himself, chris hemsworth is here. from "happy endings," adam pally is with us. we have music from calexico. and when we come back, i'll help you find a last minute gift for your mom on craigslist, so stick around. we'll be right back. looif i'll finally get the can fecoverage my family deserves. if it's something we can afford. to steer clear of the confusion, go to in less than 5 minutes, you'll get straight answers. like how much life insurance you really need and how much it costs.
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man: and all the pens are put down... woman: and everything there is to learn is learned. man: till the heroes retire and the monsters return to their dens... woman: and all the plots are wrapped up. man: till that day... boy: by hook or by crook... girl: by book or by nook... woman: i will read. ♪ ♪ ♪ and olive garden's one of the few places we can take them where everyone's happy.
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then later, a very funny guy from the show "happy endings." adam pally is with us. and finally, we'll celebrate cinco de mayo the way el lord intended -- with music from this -- their latest album called "carried to dust." calexico from the bud light stage. calexico. next week we'll be joined by rob lowe, ty pennington, nathan fillion, chris o'donnell, ginnifer goodwin, windell middlebrooks, kate hudson, the latest castoff from "dancing with the stars," and we'll have music from wiz khalifa, calle 13, zac brown band and raphael saadiq. so join us for those shows, too. you know, mother's day is on sunday. and there's always pressure to get mom the perfect gift. fear not, i've been spending the last 72 hours scouring craigslist for some great mother's day items. things you can buy affordably and we've invited some of the sellers on to showcase these treasures. and it's time now for craigslist mother's day gift ideas. this is great.
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because sometimes i go on craigslist and i wonder, who is selling this and now we're going to find out. our first seller is richard. richard, come on out here, will you? hello, richard. how are you? what are you selling? this is a real item you are selling. and it is? >> vhs tapes. antiques. >> three-pack of vhs tapes. how long have you had these? >> about 20 years maybe. >> jimmy: it was time to get rid of them? >> yes, because -- >> jimmy: what are you asking? >> two bucks. >> jimmy: $2. and somebody will call you and then you will arrange a meeting time at your home and then they will hand you $2 and then they will leave. >> with my blessing. >> jimmy: with your blessing. very good. all right. well, if it's 1958 and you want to get your mom one of these, go ahead and search new blank vhs tape. six hours, three pack new. and you can take it home and so -- yeah, this is -- oh, hello
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there. how are you? what's happening? your name is thomas? >> thomas, yes, sir. >> jimmy: and thomas, what is this? >> this is a meteorite. >> jimmy: was it from a planet or -- >> anything that falls from the sky is a meteorite for me. >> jimmy: did this fall from the sky? >> i found it in a garden. >> jimmy: how do you know? >> it's an odd rock. i never seen an odd rock like this before. >> jimmy: so it might not be? >> it might not. but i'm saying it is. >> jimmy: you think it. what if somebody buys it and determines it is not one? >> well, no refunds. >> jimmy: no refund? and how much are you asking for this. >> $1,000. >> jimmy: you'd be better beating someone over the head with that rock and taking their wallet, wouldn't you? >> maybe. >> jimmy: well, if you handed mom a meteorite, this would be a
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great gift. would you give this to your mom? >> well, she's dead. >> jimmy: if you want to buy this, search craigslist for me yo meteorite, and it's the only one on it. daniel, where is daniel? come on out here, daniel. daniel? oh, look at this. wow. that is a beautiful item. tell us what we have here? >> this is a scooter that me and my dad have been working on for the past couple of months. >> jimmy: nice. when you say working on, you've done what to this? >> just adding junk. lights all around the scooter. mini sub. >> jimmy: speaker? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what is it hooked up to? >> this. put your ipod in right here. we got a truck horn at the
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front. and a bubble machine. >> jimmy: if there's any way to make a scooter more embarrassing, it's by adding -- can i try the horn? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you go ahead and hit that horn. >> jimmy: oh, it really does. so, you can really scare somebody. this is a great item. how much do you want for this? >> $800. >> jimmy: all right. if you want to buy this scooter this is a sick set of wheels for mom. go to craigslist l.a., search for 1986 hon thda spree scooter. it's got everything mom would ever want on it. and we have one more seller whose name is rocky. rocky, come on out, will you? hi, rocky. >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: how are you? >> good, thank you. >> jimmy: and what is that? >> that's a panter. >> jimmy: a what? >> a penalty anter. >> jimmy: it is pants and a planter -- >> with no l. >> jimmy: did you invent this?
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>> i bought that awhile ago. >> jimmy: you did. there's a store that sells these? >> a swap meet. >> jimmy: you are wearing the same pants as the panter. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's like you are selling apart of you. you feel like maybe you are selling one of your, half of your children? >> i've had them for 16 years. >> jimmy: time for him to go? why? people get scared when they come to the house? >> actually, it helped manage my apartment building with the little kids? they liked it or -- >> i told them what's what happens to bad little kids. >> jimmy: oh, women. you've literally soiled your pants is what's happened here. well, that is a wonderful gift for any mother. i don't know who wouldn't love that. if you want to buy the panter, go to craigslist l.a. type in half a boy panter. and you will find it. thank you, rocky. thanks to all of our sellers. we'll be right back with chris hemsworth.
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marcy: ok, romantic garden? bree: oh, is there a castle nearby? marcy: no, but there's a charming farmhouse. bree: right next to my posh castle! i'm sensing a theme here. well, i am the queen, dear sister. >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. still to come, adam pally and calexico. our first guest
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tonight is the god of thunder who comes from a land down under. he has a hammer and he knows how to use it. starting tomorrow, you can see him as the mighty title character in the 3-d movie "thor." please say hello to chris hemsworth. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good to see you. thank you for coming. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: do you celebrate cinco de mayo in australia? >> why not? we celebrate every other holiday. any excuse to drink. >> jimmy: what's the big drinking holiday? >> st. paddy's day. probably 1% of the population is actually irish, but we grab ahold of it and drink away. >> jimmy: 100% is drunk. that's nice. the director of your movie was here last night. he said at the premiere you guys had the premiere there in sydney, it was like your whole family was there and there was a lot of hemsworths there. >> a few.
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i had a guest list of 80 or 90 people. kind of -- >> jimmy: how big was the theater? >> 600, i think. good percentage of us. and it was kind of pushing the friendship with paramount and marvel when i said, you can have ten guests and i said, i got, like, 80, 90. >> jimmy: well, you're thor. you have to get your way. >> just storm the building. >> jimmy: very interesting, your brother was on the show about a year or so ago. very nice guy. he was one of the finalists to play thor and you trumped him. >> trumped him, yeah. yep. it was -- haven't spoken since. >> jimmy: he's your younger brother? >> yeah. >> jimmy: it should be that way then. >> i said, sorry, you know? >> jimmy: was there any real, like, rivalry or -- >> no, we have a good healthy competitive relationship as brothers do. but you know, it became a bit of a team effort. we were never in it head to head. i would call him, he would call me, what do you think ken wants,
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give each other bad advice. >> jimmy: did you grow up in sydney? >> melbourne. i was really young, actually. >> jimmy: that's kind of the wild, isn't it? >> in the outback. >> jimmy: really? >> on a cattle session. >> jimmy: you must have stuck out like a sore thumb. >> we did, absolutely. very tiny community and communities are spread out throughout the outback. we were the only white kids there. and the classrooms are split into two groups. everyone from, like, 7 to 12 and then 12 to 19. >> jimmy: really, how many kids in the classroom? >> like 50. anything from finger painting to math. >> jimmy: so you don't know how to read. >> no. >> jimmy: that's very sad. know. >> jimmy: do you feel like you got a good education? >> it was only for a few years. the first few years.
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probably the most important. >> jimmy: the formative years. >> playing catchup the rest of my life. >> jimmy: you lived in a regular house? >> yeah, yeah. but it was -- very different environment to what we went back to and what my friends grew up with back in melbourne experienced. >> jimmy: were there stores and -- >> there was one big sort of shed which my parents ran, the -- it doubled as a post office, the food store, the hospital, police station. whatever you wanted it to be, it was one shed. >> jimmy: we had a show called "green acres" that had a shed like that. so, everybody would come there and they would get there whatever -- >> get all the supplies and if you wanted to get anything more substantial, you would travel 4 1/2 hours into the nearest city. so it was -- it made for interesting times. >> jimmy: i would think so. if you get injured, you would have to go 4 1/2 hours? >> sometimes, yeah. there was actually a guy there who was, i guess a medicine man or a psychic or whatever you
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would want to call him and he -- this is true. and my -- i remember one time my dad had a back problem for years and every month or so it would spasm and he would need to be rushed to hospital or bedridden for a few days and this one particular guy came up and said, can i see you've got them stringy things in your back. my dad is like, what are you talking about? he laid my dad down and kind of kneaded his back. and my mom was there. he spat into a cup, like blood, through this period. and he has never had a back problem since. >> jimmy: your dad spat into the cup or the guy? >> the guy that was doing the work on his back. and -- >> jimmy: and blood came out of his mouth? >> there's no -- >> jimmy: your dad was molested by someone, right? wow. >> hasn't spoken about it sense. >> jimmy: your dad felt better right away? >> hasn't had a back problem
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since. my mom, there was a woman she was with and passing away and the community was there. and someone said, go and get this guy, the healer. and she got to his house and he was there waiting with the bag and said, i've got the long eyes, i can see. what do you mean? i saw you, i saw you with that woman. came back and sent everyone out of the room and 20 minutes later the woman was up and making tea and coffee for people. >> jimmy: wow. this guy's got the power of oprah. incredible. got to get him over here and get him a tv show. we have a clip -- i thought the movie was great, by the way. 3d movie, that's my favorite kind of d. you're really the perfect thor. there was some talk initially that i would play thor. >> i know. and you stepped down. thank you for that. >> jimmy: they wanted to go with a blond, so -- i was gracious, i thought. but we have a clip here from the movie. do you need to set the clip up.
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>> sure. thor has been banished to earth and he's in the hospital in restraints in human form. >> jimmy: and doesn't realize that he doesn't have his powers. >> doesn't appreciate being touched. >> jimmy: the movie is called "thor." take a look. >> hi. just taking a little blood. >> how dare you attack the son of -- >> i need some help. >> security to e.r. three! so >> you are no match for the -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: it's very good. it's called thor. hey, chris, i hate to borrow you. there is a nail sticking out of the wall right by my uncle frank's head over there and, would you be a dear and pound
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that in for us? thank you, i appreciate that. chris hemsworth, everybody. if you don't mind, yeah. "thor" opens tomorrow. [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow. thank you, very much. chris hemsworth, everyone. we'll be right back with adam pally. the 3.6-liter pentastar v6 engine in the jeep grand cherokee has a best in class driving range of more than 500 miles per tank. which means you don't have to worry about finding a gas station. which is good...
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take a step forward and chase what matters. >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. calexico still to come on this cinco de mayo. our next guest is a comedian and actor with one of the friendliest names in all of entertainment. you can see him play a man named max on the show "happy endings." watch it wednesdays at 10:00 on abc. please say hello to adam pally.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a good sized shot there. is that water or the real deal? >> that's the real thing. >> jimmy: that is the real thing. >> i figure if this goes well, we'll each do one and if it doesn't, i'll do both. >> jimmy: okay. and -- we'll get hammered. >> this is both a metaphor for getting hammered and i didn't want to be the only guest with a hammer on the show, so i brought a hammer. >> jimmy: you never want to be the only one without a hammer. >> my parents told me, you have to bring a hammer everywhere you go. >> jimmy: are they watching? >> they are. >> jimmy: where do they live? >> in new jersey. >> jimmy: did you grow thereupon? >> kind of all over the place. >> jimmy: why? >> well, because my parents were in a rock band and i -- >> jimmy: really? >> i say the word rock band --
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rock is thrown around lightly. it was like a band, first of all, the name was called pally and pal. so -- [ laughter ] and they would wear, like, white jump suits and, like, in the early '80s, like, white jump suits with capes and platform shoes. >> jimmy: really? >> they were like the jewish version of abba. and they would tour, like, the cat skills. >> jimmy: what kind of venues would play they? >> some casino with, like, you know, 80-year-old women with blue hair who just -- >> jimmy: did you ever join in the act? >> no, never. but i know the act pretty well. and that's just as embarrassing. >> jimmy: yeah. use their act -- i know you do comedy -- >> yeah, i -- i only use their act when i'm bombing really bad. i might do it tonight. >> jimmy: it's a good go-to,
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right? >> what would happen is, my dad would be like, playing piano and he would be like, you know what the best thing is in the world, karen? and she would be like, friends, steven. and he'd be like, oh, you got to have friends. and then they would go into the bette midler song "you got to have friends." >> jimmy: people must have eaten that up. >> oh, yeah, two jews singing bette midler, what's better than that? >> jimmy: at any point in your life did you think it was cool? >> no. they like to say, look, we were both in the industry together, and i'm like, no. >> jimmy: what do they do now? >> now my dad is a doctor. >> jimmy: he's a doctor? >> he just, like, stopped doing entertainment and went to medical school when i was 8. >> jimmy: what a waste. >> i know. especially with his voice. his golden pipes. >> jimmy: do you do standup? >> sketch and improv.
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i'm from the upright citizens brigade. >> jimmy: you do a lot of characters and that sort of thing? >> i do a random impersonations that are one-line long. they're very -- >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, so, it's like a hot app of an impersonation. one would be -- this is the redheaded woman's boyfriend on "sex and the city." you know? i said they were random. >> jimmy: i think i know. >> you know that character? steve. so, he would be like -- miranda. [ applause ] we have a baby. we live in brooklyn. miranda. >> jimmy: that's it? >> that's it. >> jimmy: well, you said they were short. do one more. >> i do mcconaughey getting
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upset that they messed up his burrito order. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> so, that's just like -- nah, man. i said no sour cream. >> jimmy: very good. i think that's probably worthy of a drink. >> yeah, you want to -- >> jimmy: we will. tell us about "happy endings." >> it's great. sitcom that airs on wednesdays at 10:00. >> jimmy: on abc. >> yeah, this network. our network. our network together. >> jimmy: the network we share. >> one thing we share. and it's super fun. everyone is really funny and they let us improvise a lot. >> jimmy: congratulations. i'm glad it's going well for you. and now we'll have a drink. a toast to adam pally and cinco de mayo. "happy endings" airs wednesdays at 10:00 right here on abc.
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we'll be right back with calexico.
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>> jimmy: this is their latest album. it's called "carried to december."
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here with the song "crystal frontiers" from tucson, arizona -- calexico. ♪ ♪ marco's shadow falls on the door to the seven lost cities of gold ♪ ♪ finds a raven's head and rattler's tail dead in his tracks this god forsaken soul's ♪ ♪ unwanted here and his ghost lingers for years ♪ ♪ amalia's face hides behind the mask sweating on the
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tv factory line ♪ ♪ that smile on her face is starting to crack while welding back the pieces of shattered heart ♪ ♪ that's scattered out here with the ghosts of her peers ♪ ♪ searched for her lost child along the river of tears a river of tears ♪ ♪ at the end of the working week when drunken worlds meet both sides keeping a close eye ♪ ♪ watching the bullet fly here on the crystal frontier on the crystal frontier ♪
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♪ ♪ ramon tightens up his leather belt and slips through a hole in the fence ♪ ♪ he can get you anything you want might cost you a life might cost you ♪ ♪ the whole price of freedom here on the crystal frontier ♪ ♪ searching for your lost love on the river of tears the river of tears ♪ ♪ blood spills out on the streets and bodies are missing for weeks both sides keeping a close eye ♪


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