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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  June 23, 2011 12:00am-1:05am PDT

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robbery at a walmart. and we'll see you here tomorrow. >> dicky: tonight on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: so far this has been the best summer of my entire life. really. the only bad thing is, my yogalates instructor says i'm not bikini ready yet. >> dicky: mom molly shannon. >> you are bad! >> dicky: tim tebow. and music from matt nathanson. >> jimmy: with all that ohm yum laying around, you would think it would be a mellower place.h@
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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with exciting news. "jimmy kimmel live" now has its very own app. here now with all the details, guillermo, who apparently isn't here. hold on a second. ♪ >> hello? jimmy? >> jimmy: where are you? we're waiting on you to start the show. >> sorry, i am too busy enjoying the "jimmy kimmel live" app to talk right now. good-bye. [ laughter ] ay yi yi. jimmy worries too much. doesn't he realize that whether i am here. or here. or here. the show is always with me on my
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ipad, iphone and ipod touch. thanks to "jkl" app. i can watch video from the show anywhere, on the go, and i can read jimmy's hilarious personal tweets. [ laughter ] boy, that jimmy sure is a great guy. i wonder what he's doing now. ♪ jimmy, i told you i am busy! good-bye! jimmy needs to get a life. what a loser. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" app -- available exclusively at the apple app store. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with tim tebow, music from matt nathanson and molly shannon. [ male announcer ] this june, the chipotle chicken and cheese
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is the next featured $5 footlong of the month. tender chicken, melty cheese, red onions and rich, smoky chipotle southwest sauce.
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it joins our many $5 footlongs™ in june only! subway. eat fresh. a network of possibilities. in here, the planned combination of at&t and t-mobile would deliver our next generation mobile broadband experience to 55 million more americans, many in small towns and rural communities, giving them a new choice. we'll deliver better service, with thousands of new cell sites... for greater access to all the things you want, whenever you want them. it's the at&t network... and what's possible in here is almost impossible to say. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- molly shannon.
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denver broncos quarterback tim tebow. and music from matt nathanson. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, the moment we've been waiting for. here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i -- [ cheers and applause ] that's very kind of you. and i don't know about you, but so far this has been the best summer of my entire life. really has. only bad thing, my yogalates instructor says i'm not bikini
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ready yet. but give me one month of starving and crying and i will be ready. i love the weather in l.a. right now. the sun is shining. it's 80 degrees. it reminds me of christmas in l.a. kids are setting up their gluten free lemonade stands. got some fun planned for you tonight. nobody enjoys summer like the guy who dresses up like chewbacca on hollywood boulevard. he has -- he's very comfortable. does it get hot in that costume in the summertime? >> well, yeah. i usually, like, sweat a lot. >> jimmy: you do? >> but i got -- my diet consists of noodles. >> jimmy: i did not know that, your diet consists of noodles. do you try to vary your hours so you're not working in the heat of the day? >> usually, like, i'm too, like, tired to get up in the morning, so, i just get up and do it when i, like, feel like waking up. >> jimmy: i got you. so, there's no structured hours there for you.
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why don't you go ahead and take much the head there so we can see -- now, outside our theater, there are a group of -- [ applause ] characters who put on costumes like these and pose for pictures of tourists. what is your real name? >> cory. >> jimmy: cory is one of them. cory, who i recently fell in love with -- [ laughter ] we know it's hard for you to get the day off work to go to the beach. we're going to bring the beach to you. we pulled children away from their parents and there they are. hi, kids, how are you? >> good. >> jimmy: summer vacation for you now? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right, excellent. tonight, we're going to see how many buckets of sand you can pour into the chewbacca costume before chewbacca starts to overflow, okay? have you done this before? >> no! >> jimmy: let's weigh him first. cory, go ahead -- step on the
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scale. okay. i can't imagine that's correct. oh, yeah, he's tall. that's right. what do you weigh, 218 pounds? >> yeah. i think so, yeah. >> jimmy: all right. now, step off that scale and -- all right, let's start with bucket number one. we numbered the buckets and -- go ahead and just -- >> you can do it. >> jimmy: maybe we can't numbered the buckets. okay. that's the first -- >> that's a cool bucket you got. >> jimmy: how does it feel? >> it kind of like it. it's like a massage almost. >> jimmy: very good. wow, that's one of those magic buckets. >> okay, number two. >> jimmy: full of sand. yeah, just go ahead and keep dumping that. we imported the sand from tatouine. so, keep dumping, kids. keep going with the buckets. >> number three, please. >> jimmy: we'll check in in a little bit and see where you are, okay? all right, all right.
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the kids are hard at work. [ applause ] i -- let me tell you something. i dream of an america in which every child has a wookie to pack with sand. president obama addressed the nation tonight. he didn't have anything particular to say. he just wanted to say what's up. actually, he announced progress is being made in afghanistan after the death of osama bin laden, which means we are bog to be bringing 10,000 troops home after the end of this year. here's what i don't understand about afghanistan. with all of that opium laying around, you would think it would be a mel localer place. the president's speech was in primetime tonight. since all the major tv networks air presidential addresses, it interfered with regularly scheduled programming. fox had to delay a new episode of "so you think you can dance," which makes it hard for us to know if we think we can dance or not. nbc was smart.
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instead of pre-empting "the voice," they did this. >> starting next month, we will be bring home a total of 33,000 troops by next summer. [ applause ] may god bless our troops and may god bless the united states of america. >> jimmy: you see? what they did is, they combined the two, to form one thing. [ applause ] meanwhile, last night on cnn headline news, the nation was addressed by flavor flav. a.j. hammer interviewed mr. flav about his all biography and other subjects. let's count the number of times in that two and a half minutes that flavor flav said you know what i'm saying. >> just glad that god let me live there all of that, you know what i'm saying? and the reason why is so that that way today i can teach about it, you know what i'm saying, because drugs are easy to get on
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and they are hard as hell to get off of, you know what i'm saying? i've always been a funny guy. you know what i'm saying? i mean, a man is a comedian, you know what oom saying? i mean, there are certain jokes, you know what i'm saying, should be told a little more easier, you know what i'm saying? you know what i'm saying? everybody got a lot of gay family members in their family, you know what i'm saying? some of the gay people -- best friend you ever had in your life, you know what i'm saying, and the whole nine. you know what i'm saying? [ applause ] >> jimmy: we now know what he's saying. he would make an extremely dangerous air traffic controller, you know what i'm saying? how is it going outside with the chewbacca guy? okay, all right, there we go. bucket number 16. >> 16. >> jimmy: how is that feeling right now? >> it's like -- it's pretty, it feels like -- heavy. >> jimmy: it feels like what?
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>> like -- i got a lot of, like, sand in my legs. >> jimmy: i think that's probably a result of the sand in your legs. kids, are you having fun? >> i'm having an awesome time! >> jimmy: you are, great. cory -- what is -- what's the worst part of working on hollywood boulevard? >> i think just like breaks up my normal routine, like, i actually got to, like, do stuff and, usually i go down to starbucks and they got, like, they got mihming there that's, like, free, and it's just in a silver container and it's for everybody, so, i just get milk and take it home. >> jimmy: okay. >> and i drink it. >> jimmy: oh, all right. that's -- >> jimmy: that's an interesting strategy. >> 21. >> jimmy: still talking, cory? >> yeah, he was pouring sand on
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me. >> jimmy: all right, good. we'll check back in with you. keep filling that costume. [ applause ] i swear to god, i could -- i would love to be trapped in an elevator with him, for instance. bristol palin released her much anticipated memoir yesterday. it's called "not afraid of life: my journey so far. "and a lot of the book is about her relationship with levi johnston. she said it took eight positive pregnancy tests before she believed she was pregnant. her limb sister found the pregnancy tests in the car and -- she's peeing in the car? classy. and eight tests? really? eight? in fairness she didn't know you're not supposed to put them under your tongue until the seventh test, but -- bristol also said that levi johnston cheated on her but then made it up to her by buying her designer
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rain boopts. things are different up there, i guess. kobe bryant's got to be kicking himself in the ass right now. [ laughter ] hey, i'm sorry i had sex with someone else, but i got you galoshes. and by the way, i hate to break it to her, but there are no designer rain booments in alaska. he got back in your penalties with a gift from the walmart clearance aisle. meanwhile, sarah palin has ended her bus tour of the united states. last month, she embarked on what she was calling the one nation bus tour. the idea was to drive around the country giving speeches. but she hasn't given any st speeches in two weeks. and reportedly she's back in alaska. it's unlike her to quit something, you know? [ applause ] no, no, it's not -- don't make me fill everyone with sand. meanwhi meanwhile, in other governor news, texas governor rick perry accepted something the texas
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award. a computer oriented award honoring his -- i guess he works -- he does social media things, facebook, twitter. and for anyone who thinks poll tixs are out of touch with media, well, you're right. >> if you've had enough, take out your phone and text fed up to 95613 and you can always follow me on tweeter and governor perry. >> jimmy: what a -- [ applause ] good news is, i don't think we have to worry about an online sex scandal from him. former utah governor jon huntsman is running for president, despite the fact that no one outside of utah knows who john huntsman is. they did a story about him last night on "nightline." this is his first campaign ad. this is for real. and i guess the idea is to show people what a regular guy he is. >> this man, a successful two-term conservative governor of utah. some see a man of the world. his family seems the world's
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best pancake chef, who makes a mean egg white omelet. a dad who listens, practical jokes. cranks up the rock. the dad who won't make dinner reservations because his favorite restaurant cart don't take them. maury kay mentioned she would like to eat somewhere nice one day. but that day seems yet to arrive. >> jimmy: it's like sad. [ laughter ] like the trailer for a movie where the dog dies at the end of something. but that day seems yet to arrive. let's see the rest of that ad. >> he's the neighbor who borrows tools and never returns them. the son who calls his mother a bitch. a monster who uses the floor instead of the toilet. jon huntsman. cheap skate. weirdo. for president. >> jimmy: at least he's honest. [ applause ] it's better to get all that
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stuff out now. let's check back in with our street chewbacca there and we'll see how in many -- 41 buckets what is going on -- it's coming out. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: you're leaking. >> yeah. it's a good thing, because i feel better. >> jimmy: there are holes in your costume or is that just dumping out into the pile? >> it's like -- i got a hole, like -- -- it's coming out. >> jimmy: okay. is this the first time anything like this has ever happened to you? >> ah, yeah. like sometimes -- here you go. >> this is going crazy right now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey, kids, do you like "star wars?" >> yes! >> jimmy: and are you going to look at it differently now? >> what? >> jimmy: never mind. all right. well, keep filling until we can't see his face, all right?
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cory isn't the only one sweating right now. a lot of the country starting to experience the summer heat. yesterday on the weather channel, the weather person, stephanie abrams, was talking about the affects of heat on the human body and in doing so, provided us with our unintentional joke of the day. >> when it's humid out there's a lot of balls that are really close together, like, if you are in a crowded area. >> jimmy: you know -- i don't know how she would have any way of knowing that, but -- [ applause ] we have a big football star on the show tonight. denver broncos quarterback tim tebow. good news today. the nfl players and the league restarted talks, so, that's good. there's optimism now that the nfl season may go on as scheduled this year. which is great. but in the meantime, the players are still out of work. so, to help out, i've been hiring some of them here at the show. when we shoot a segment out on the street, we bring a production team in to make sure things go smoothly. and guillermo, today, you worked with terrell suggs, right?
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>> yeah. >> jimmy: did he do a good job? >> i think so. >> jimmy: let's take a look. >> hi, it's me guillermo, i'm here for -- >> jimmy kimmel! what's up, buddy! >> we're trying to shoot. step out. >> sorry. >> okay, guillermo. let's go again. and action. >> hi, it's me guillermo, i'm here, holly bwood boulevard for- >> let's go, baby. >> i think you kill him. >> yeah, i will. >> thank you, mr. terrell. >> no problem. >> ow. >> anybody else want some? where you at? >> jimmy: a man on the street, i guess. quickly check in with chewbacca. chewbacca? are we done? did we do it? >> yeah, i -- it's all --ite just standing in a pile of sand -- >> yeah, there's a pile of sand. >> jimmy: he is a pile of sand.
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all right, now we're going to get buckets of abouts and we're going to put those in there, too, okay? >> okay. >> jimmy: somebody get him some noodles, will you? we have a good show for you tonight. from the denver broncos, tim tebow is here. we have music from matt nathanson. and we'll be right back with molly shannon. so stick around. ♪ [ male announcer ] every day, thousands of people are choosing advil. here's one story. i'm keith baraka and i'm a fire fighter. it's an honor to be a fire fighter. my job involves life or death situations and it's very physically demanding. if i'm sore, i have a headache, i'm not at my best. i've tried store brands.
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and touch the stars. because now...there's this.
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>> jimmy: what's going on out there? if you are just tuning in, i have no explanation for that. tonight on the show,
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the quarterback for the denver broncos and the author of this best selling memoir called "through my eyes" -- tim tebow is with us. and then, with music from this new album. it just came out yesterday. it's called "modern love." matt nathanson from the bud light stage. tomorrow night, rosario dawson, michael and music from jill scott. and i want to say happy birthday tonight to our announcer, dain blanton. the big 5-0? >> no, not quite. >> jimmy: no? all right. well, you look great. >> dicky: a little 4-7. >> jimmy: congratulations. i know you like to make a big deal about it. >> dicky: oh, i go crazy. >> jimmy: you know our first guest from six years on "saturday night live." her new movie with cameron diaz and justin timberlake is called "bad teacher." it opens friday. please say hello to molly shannon. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: how are you? >> great, jimmy, how are you? you look amazing. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. it's good to see you. you look great, as well. >> thank you. >> jimmy: how long have you lived here? >> a couple of years. i was living in new york city, but we moved back a couple years ago. >> jimmy: you brought the whole family. >> did. california's great. it's so different from new york. there are so many places you can just drive to, little weekend trips. it's different than new york that way. i like getting in a car. my kids -- >> jimmy: i like that, by the way. most people from new york hate it and hate it no matter how great it is. >> no, i love it. >> jimmy: do the kids like it? >> they do. we took a little trip to legoland. and we had so much fun. it was just fun to be on the road and legoland is a great little place, they have big statues and it was so funny because there was, my son loves
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"star wars" and there was a big lego statue of darth vader, and my son, you know, i turned around for a second, didn't see him, i turn and i see him yelling at the statue of darth vader, like, darth vader, you are bad! like, really like scolding and acting like he was the toughest guy. like really letting him having it. >> jimmy: so he hasn't seen all the episodes yet or he would feel bad, because it turns out he's just misunderstood. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: well, that's good. the kids like it here. >> they do. >> jimmy: planning to stay here for awhile? >> yeah. they are in school, so. >> jimmy: you wrote this children's book, now, this is -- when does this come out, by the way? >> in the fall. >> jimmy: in the fall. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's called "tilly the trickster." and is tilly based on a person? >> she's based on, well, kind of -- it's a little bit based on my kids because they love to
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play tricks and it is my dad was a big trickster. he loved playing games on people. he raised me by himself and we would do fun adventures. we would go into a candy store. let's pretend like we're blind. he would walk in, i can't see! just silly kind of stuff like that. >> jimmy: that's fun. what else would he do? pretend we're blind. >> he would -- he was just a crazy thinker. he didn't like to have to pay for things a lot. he was a little cheap. so i went to nyu drama school and it was really expensive. it was, you know, big, expensive university and i had a lot of student loans and i would get the bills and my dad would be like, oh, don't worry about that they don't keep track of those loans. just rip them up. >> jimmy: for real? >> for real. >> jimmy: and would you? >> i would! my sister and i were like, woo! you know? free money.
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>> jimmy: really? >> really. >> jimmy: did they forget about them? >> he really believed they couldn't track us down. they tracked me down. >> jimmy: they did. you are the one with the confetti in the air around you. >> yeah. so when i got "saturday night live" i was able to pay it off. and i owed a lot of money. >> jimmy: did you get penalties and that stuff? >> yeah, yeah. penalties? >> jimmy: dad really was a trickster. he tricked you into going almost into bankruptcy. >> he did, exactly. . >> jimmy: and you made a book about it. >> he was just the kind of person that was just like, cash, too, when he were little, pretty young growing up i baby sat to make money and during christmas we were kind of expected to give my dad cash for christmas, like, write a check, which i thought was normal. and then when i got older, people were like, you give your dad checks for christmas? and my sister and i would kind of compete because we would have to give all our money to him and he would be like, how much are
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you giving, and i would say, oh, $500. and he was like, thank you. >> jimmy: like santa going up the chimney instead of coming down. >> yeah. and he was also, like, if i invited friends, like, when i was in, you know, grade school or whatever, you know, eighth grade, ninth grade, friends to sleep over, i wanted him to make normal and pay for my friend the way other parents would. he was mad he had to pay for the other kid so i would give him my babysitting money on the slide so he would pretend like he was paying. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. and then, of course, they would be, like, i'll do a -- do you have, like, a dollar? i will give you demonstration of what it was like. so, for example, you'll be the little girl who we are taking out for dinner. >> jimmy: okay. >> i'll be my dad. and so they would -- they parents would give them money. he would go, all right, i got
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it. they would go, no, mr. shannon, here's $10. so, you be the little girl. >> jimmy: okay. >> keep saying it. i got it. >> jimmy: no, mr. shannon, here's -- >> no, no. no, no. >> jimmy: i really don't. >> he he would snatch it and take it. >> jimmy: and keep it? not even as -- >> and we were like -- ugh. we were mortified. >> jimmy: i don't want you to take offense to this, but was your father in the mafia? because it sounds like -- like tony soprano or something. chasing you down at christmas time. >> he likes a good deal. >> jimmy: my dad, too. my dad is the same way, though i'm feeling like he's p. diddy by comparison. >> what was he like? >> jimmy: well, when the check came, they would bring the check over and it would come, you see him, like, he would examine and
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add every item up and so, you just see him running his finger and shaking his head like -- and then he wouldn't say anything, he would go -- and the waitress would come over, he would be like, ah, we didn't have the french fries -- yeah, yeah -- oh, oh, okay. okay. there was always a mistake, an imaginary mistake. and then he would just go along with it. never once did he find an actual mistake, but -- every single time was adding it up. we're going to take a break. when we come back, we're going to talk about "bad teacher." molly shannon is here. we'll be right back. high school was bad...
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i was obviously gay, and some kids didn't like that. and i did get harassed. what i'd love you to take away from it... is that however bad it is now... it gets better. and it can get great. and it's important for adults to reach out to kids and share our stories so that they can picture futures for themselves that are worth sticking around for. okay little ones, here's the first thing you need to know. you are perfect and wonderful exactly as you are. you're not alone. there are a ton of us out here in this world. who will love you without even knowing you. it gets better ! ( crowd cheering )
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there's art to be made. there's songs to be sung. so hold on. look at me, 80 years old. it gets better with age. listen to me. it gets better. it gets better. it gets better. it does get better. todo se mejora. so much better. you'll be fine, partner. your life can be amazing. but you have to tough this period of it out and you have to live. that's trident layers. the gum with layers of flavors. [ excited ] of course you can pay me in gum! no one ever pays me in gum. [ male announcer ] layers and layers and layers of flavor. trident layers.
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it's me, garrett, from school. >> it's garrett. having a nice christmas? what are you doing the rest of the day? going to see your family? >> yeah, i'm going to go see some people. we're having a big pot luck, so -- >> would you like to come and spend christmas with us? ♪ ♪ tis the season to be jolly ♪ fa la la >> jimmy: the movie "bad teacher." molly shannon is here. have you seen the whole, the finished film yet? >> i loved it. it was fantastic. >> jimmy: it look s funny.
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>> cameron is amazing. it's written by two amazing comedy writers and it's fantastic. >> jimmy: so you give it your seal of approval. but you would lie if you didn't like it. you would -- >> no. i think it would be -- i wouldn't have said. that. >> jimmy: you wouldn't have named names. i would have been, show the clip, that's it. >> jimmy: what is the story of the movie? >> it's about cameron diaz is this teacher who is really not into teaching. she's just really interested in landing a rich buy because she wants to get a new pair of tits. and she's -- yeah. so, that's the movie. really unlikable character and they just -- she's great. she's mean to the kids. she -- as a matter of fact, when my kids and i drove by the poster, i told them about what the movie was about, leaving out the tits part. they were like, yeah, she's a bad teacher. they like seeing the posters. >> jimmy: they do. and are your kids interested in
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acting and doing what you do? >> no, but -- no. they're not interested in that but they are funny, just naturally with the things they say and ask me. >> jimmy: well, threatening darth vader is a good start. >> they ask questions like, 7:00 in the morning. like, mommy, if your head gets chopped off, do you die? and i'm like, let me have a sip of my coffee. my son was like, mommy, when you were little, were you jewish? i was like -- [ laughter ] i laughed so hard. they say things like that. my little boy also knows that i don't like to get tickets from policemen -- >> jimmy: you don't? that's weird. >> i know, isn't that weird? so, he saw a policeman giving me a ticket for this, citing me for something that wasn't on my license or something and he, no one could see that i was really upset, my son is 6, and i got the ticket, and he goes, next time that happens, you should just kick the policeman.
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just kick him! i can't do that. >> jimmy: youoh, no. >> that makes me laugh. >> jimmy: it's funny now. when he's 19 and with the copper thes flying him and putting him on the news, it's going to be a problem. >> jimmy: a and the book comes again out in the fall. are you going to go on a book tour? >> i am going to new orleans this monday to speak to 1,000 librarians for one hour. >> jimmy: really? for an hour? >> i'm so nervous. >> jimmy: what are you going to say? >> i'm going to talk about the importance of library science. reading. literature. wonderful children's characters in books doctor for an hour! >> jimmy: speak in a very low voice. >> i'm shaking in my boots. >> jimmy: great combination of librarians and new orleans. it seems like a strange place to have -- >> doesn't it? well, we go to dinner the night
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before. >> jimmy: they'll get drunk and it will turn into "girls gone wild. "holly shannmolly shannon, ever. "bad teacher" opens on friday. we'll be right back with tim tebow. ♪ got brass in pocket... ♪ gonna use my, my, my, imagination. ♪ the new blackberry playbook. ♪ cos i'm gonna make you see ♪ there's nobody else here, no one like me. ♪ small enough to take anywhere. powerful enough to take you everywhere. ♪ i'm special ♪ so special align can help. only align has bifantis, a pantented probiotic
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>> jimmy: hi, everyone. hello. our next fwes has two ncaa football championships, a heisman trophy, and now a book. his best-selling memoir is called "through my eyes." from the denver broncos, please welcome tim tebow. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: good to see you ch thank you for coming. >> absolutely. my pleasure. >> jimmy: do you work out? >> t 90-x. >> jimmy: that does it for you? it's impressive to write a book at your age. but the coolest thing is, you got a blush on the back yof our book from chuck norris. that's pretty solid. >> he taught me the roundhouse kick, too. >> jimmy: he did? >> no. >> jimmy: that would be dangerous if he did. how do you get chuck norris to write a blush for the book? >> right after i won the heisman troe fir, someone came and walked up and handed me a letter that he had just wanted to be given to me. it was a super nice letter and just encouraging me and keeping up what i was doing and everything and since then we had a relationship and it's been pretty cool. >> jimmy: that is cool. the book, you talk about "rocky iv," that inspired your training?
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>> well, you know, as a boy, i mean, i was a huge fan, especially "rock ky iv." but i love his training regular min and the music that went with it, he's running up the mountain, he's screaming at "drago." i lived on a farm so i would cut down a big log, put it over my back like him and do the lunges. we had a barn so i would hang upside down and try to do the abs like he did. it was something that doctor. >> jimmy: chasing chickens? >> we had chickens and i caught a lot of chickens. that lightening speed. >> jimmy: that's how you get it. that's great. have you met sylvester stallone? >> i have not. >> jimmy: he has to do a blurb on the next book. he's inspired a real athletic achievement. that's cool. >> yes, it is. >> jimmy: do you think there's going to be a season this year? >> i do. >> jimmy: good. you feel positive about it? >> very confident. i think, you know, working on it
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and getting closer and hopefully beginning of july we'll be able to work something. >> jimmy: do you go to meetings or do you talk to -- >> no, not at all. absolutely not. but you know, i am listening pretty -- >> jimmy: you're listening and hoping. you have to win that starting quarterback job. it's hard to do it when you're not playing. plus, a lot of people have seen this photograph. this is -- this is your rookie hazing and -- that's a pretty serious hazing you got. >> that was rough. >> jimmy: did you go along with this or were you shot with a tranquilizer dart? >> i went along with it. they said, listen, you have a choice. either, we're going to do something to your hair or we're shaving everything on your face. eyebrows, everything. so, a lot of the rook keeps are like, no, you're not shaving me and they would run, 15 veterans tackle you, bring you in the bathroom and they are doing what they want. >> jimmy: that's no good. >> no good. so, i walked in there, sat down
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said -- >> jimmy: you did the right thing. >> and they gave me the friar tuck. >> jimmy: it's not a great look. >> it's not a great look, but -- >> jimmy: it's like if donald trump didn't have a comb, this is what his hair would look like, right? >> the worst part about that, too, is, they did it the day we had our first scrimmage so my first appearance, ever, ever, at mile high in front of the orange crush, first appearance, that was my hair cut. >> jimmy: well, you made an impression. now, well, this is pretty cool. you got -- there's a statue of you at university of florida. do you get to choose your pose? >> i did not choose it. >> jimmy: you did not? >> no. >> jimmy: it's a good one. they got you running there. >> well, they had spurrier flowing so they had to change it up with me. >> jimmy: that's good to be -- how did you decide to go to
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florida in the first place? >> well, it was a tough decision, you know. a lot of people think i was going to go to florida my whole life, but i really was leaning towards alabama for most of my high school career and then this guy named urban meyer got hired at florida and so i was like, you know, something intriguing about him, and he worked harder than any other coach to recruit me. so, on the day when i was committing, telling the world where i was going, i had, "next year i will be playing for the university of blank." i didn't know the whole day. and so, i was talking to my dad and he was like, well, what's the one person you want to play for? i was just thinking, i was line, coach meyer. i love coach shula, well probably coach meyer. so, there you go. >> jimmy: it came down to a mad lib. >> pretty much. and then i called coach shula, i was really close with hip,m, i s like, hey, i think i'm going to
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florida. and he was like, you know, well, just calm down. he said, that's okay. i love you just as much now. you're going to have a great career and hopefully i will coach you one day. i look at my dad, i was like, that's the coach i want to play for! so, he almost persuaded me back to alabama. >> jimmy: he's no dummy. but i bet coach meyer was happy when you phoned him. >> he was. i called him. i was going to tell him i was coming to florida. he couldn't tell what i was doing. i just got off with shula. he was like, how are you doing? how is everything going? i was like, it's good. hey, coach, i'm getting ready to tell him, and his phone goes dead. he's very intense. he's driving a car, he didn't want to sit there, so, he's punching on his dashboard. so, he goes home, gets his son. he can't watch it on tv. he pulls him outside, throwing balls outside. he hears his family cheer, and
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that's how he found out. >> jimmy: that's how he found out? he needs to switch service. that's no good at all. well, i -- i hope you guys play next year. i wish you luck. i love to see you start. i know the fans want it in denver. it's great to meet you. you seem like a great guy. and good luck to you. tim tebow, everybody. this is his all biography. it's called "through my eyes." and it's in bookstores now. we'll be right back with music from matt nathanson. [ male announcer ] you don't make the world's best chicken
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>> jimmy: well, this is his new album. it's called "modern love." here with the song "faster," matt nathanson. ♪ ♪ you're so delicious you're so soft sweet on the tip of my tongue ♪ ♪ you taste like sunlight and strawberry bubble gum you bite my lip you spike my blood ♪ ♪ you make my heart beat faster
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own me you own ♪ ♪ you rattle my bones you turn me over and over ♪ ♪ 'till i can't control myself make me a liar yeah ♪ ♪ one big disaster you make my heart beat faster uh-uh-uh ♪ ♪ uh-uh-uh-uh it's the way you swell slow ♪ ♪ pushing right out your seams it's the way you smile baby ♪ ♪ when you've got me on my knees your all night noise your siren howl ♪ ♪ you make my heart beat
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faster ♪ ♪ own me you own you rattle my bones ♪ ♪ you turn me over and over 'till i can't control myself ♪ ♪ make me a liar yeah one big disaster you make my heart beat ♪ ♪ faster uh-uh-uh uh-uh-uh-uh ♪ ♪ cause i jump back crash i crawl ♪ ♪ i beg and steal i follow you yeah ♪ ♪ you own me and you make my heart beat faster faster ♪ ♪ faster faster i can't get enough ♪ ♪ because its on like i guess this world is over to me ♪ ♪ own me you own
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you rattle my bones ♪ ♪ you turn me over and over 'till i can't control myself ♪ ♪ make me a liar yeah one big disaster you make my heart beat ♪ ♪ own me you own you rattle my bones ♪ ♪ you turn me over and over 'till i can't control myself ♪ ♪ make me a liar yeah one big disaster ♪ ♪ 'cuz you make my heart beat faster ♪ ♪ you make my heart beat faster ♪ >> jimmy: i want to thank molly shannon, tim tebow. apologize to matt damon. tomorrow night, rosario dawson, michael angarano and music from jill scott. "modern love" released yesterday. playing us off the air with the title-track, see the f


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