Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  June 30, 2011 12:00am-1:05am PDT

12:00 am
of course, we are alsoonline at and i'll meet you back here in 23 1/2 hours. >> dicky: tonight on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: my plan this weekend is to barbecue everything in sight. nothing is safe. hide your kids, hide your wallets. when i'm done, i want my backyard to look like a zoo caught fire. >> dicky: kevin knnealon. dave salmoni. >> jimmy: oh, m my god. >> dicky: and music from
12:01 am
♪ mmm. oh gosh. oh dear. big deal. you're delicious. so what. i've got news for you. there's no such thing... a bear sheriff. you think i'm afraid of you? hey what? you don't have to be mean to the ke. i do. you don't. i do. just eat yoplait light. they have great flavors like... boston cream pie, raspberry cheesecake. even though i work here, i've lost weight. wow. yeah. carry on. (announcer) 28 delicious flavors at around 100 calories each.
12:02 am
>> jimmy: hi, i'm "jimmy kimmel live" with a word about the star of abc's newed ed adventure rea series "expedition impossible." the 2011 ford explorer. right now, you can submit your idea for a chance to win your dream adventure at our pal guillermo went on an adventure of his own to new york city for the launch of "expedition impossible." take it away, guillermo. >>ed a ve ed a veadventure is o. calling me. calling all explorers. the 2011 ford explorer. it's the go anywhere, do anything suv. perfect for my adventure. >> calling alled adventurers to time square. "expedition impossible" has a
12:03 am
challenge for you. >> adventure? adventure! adventure! adventure, here i come! adventure! adventure! are you an adventure? >> i'm a new yorker, shorty. we're all adventurers. >> i'll race you to the top. >> let's go. >> but first, i need a head start. okay? >> come on, already, let's go! >> okay. let's do this. >> yeah! i'm an adventure. i won! i'm the champion. in your face, mike. yeah! woo!
12:04 am
i won! yeah! i won! i won! yeah! >> get over here. you think that's funny, jaywalking? get over here. >> what happened? >> you have i.d.? >> dicky: get inspired b b watching otherer epic your knee ford has already made possible at and watch the 2011 ford explorer on "expedition impossible" thursdays at 9:00 on abc. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with dave salmoni and his animals, music from parachute and kevin nealon. an important factory in buying this car? oh definitely. as all my friends would tell you, i am one of the cheapest people you'll ever meeee and whenever i was filling up with gas before, i'd have a scowl on my face. you seem very comfortable up there. have you done this before? no, i haven't, and i'm actually terrified right now.
12:05 am
crunchy, roasted peanuts. meet soft, chewy caramel. for the energy to keep you going. who wouldn't want to be a part of that? payday. the sweet taste of energy.
12:06 am
of the south windsor thunder. a team with pride... guts... and last season... zero wins. [ groans ] [ male announcer ] but it's a new day and with unlimited from sprint, you can help them turn it around for no extra cost. so show your support on facebook, text their coach words of encouragement. and together, we can make a team of underdogs america's team. unlimited from sprint. only 79.99 a month. trouble hearing on the phone? visit >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- kevin nealon. david salmoni and his wild animals. and music from parachute. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, the time has come. here's jimmy kimmel!
12:07 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. tha thanks. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for meeting. i appreciate it. hey, quick question. who else is making a red, white and blue jell-o mold in the shape of the liberty bell this weekend? anyone? the 4th of july is on monday, which, i think that means an extra day off. that's nice. the 4th of july is the day we celebrate our independence from simon cowell and his life. my plan this weekend is to barbecue everything in sight. hide your dog, hid your kid. when i'm done, i want my backyard to look like a zoo caught fire. that's my goal. experts say that because of high
12:08 am
gas prices, fewer families will travel this weekend. and that's -- that is a shame. i can't imagine growing up without the joy of an 18-hour drive through the desert with -- [ laughter ] my father who is too cheap to turn the air conditioning on. be like growing up without ice cream. we've got a lot going on tonight. kevin nealon is here tonight, as is david salmoni. and dave has -- that's david backstage. he brought animals. that's a fox, i think. you know how talk show hosts love to have animals on the show? i don't. i don't look forward to it. and if one of them starts attacking, i will use one or more of you as a human shield. for a lot of children this is the first week of summer vacation. last week, i asked parents whose kids were out of school to pull a prank on those kids. i asked them to tell them their kids were late for school and post a video on youtube. and sure enough, a lot of you did. >> late for school.
12:09 am
come on, you're late for school. you're going to miss the first day of school. you're late, dude. you have to get up. >> there isn't school, dude. >> you're late for school. come on, you have to go to school. >> where's mom? >> i don't know. she ran away. you have to go to school. >> okay. >> time to get up. you got to get ready for school. >> there's not school. >> yeah, it is. >> what school? >> school. >> this is not a funny joke. >> wakakup. jimmy says you have to go to
12:10 am
school. >> huh? >> jimmy says you have to to to school. >> oh, don't put this on jimmy kimmel. >> baby, you're going to miss the bus. you're going to be late for school. >> isn't the -- >> we're in august, we're august 15th. it's already time for school. >> we -- we're already past june? >> yeah, in july. >> that was weird. >> diane? diane, you're late for school. it's already 9:30. you better get up. come on, time to get up. time to go to school. you got to get up. >> jimmy: well, some children can get vicious. thank you to all of you, the parents who participated, and the kinds, too. i think it's nice -- i think it's nice for your children to have these moments on tape so they can have something to show their therapist in 20 years.
12:11 am
tonight on nbc, the finale of "the voice." i think it's great that an nbc show finally made it to a finale before being canceled. it hasn't happened since "friends." the winner tonight was sanjaya. no, the winner was javier. a name i have forgotten already. thou so, "the voice" is done for the season. but if you feel like you're going through withdrawals, just sit in an office chair, turn on the radio and spin around in circles for an hour. another big competition going on right now, the women's soccer world cup. it happens once every four years. this time, it is being held in germany. today, brazil beat australia 1-0. it was a close match. a thriller from beginning to end. and thth was the highlight, courtesy of espn. it is our women's world cup play of the day.
12:12 am
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: amazing what these athletes can do. this is -- this is kind of weird. the pope tweeted yesterday. there's the pope with his friends. and he's got an ipad. he's getting ready to tweet. and he realize -- well, he kind of tweeted. he really just pushed the button at the end of the thing, but there it is. the pope tweeted. five years ago if you told me the pope tweeted, i would have said, why, does he think he's a bird? but he tweeted. he checked into heaven on foursquare and he's the mayor now. his first tweet was about jesus. i guess that's the way you have to do it. but the second tweet was a little bit more down to earth. he said, "can't wade for crazy, stupid love.
12:13 am
emma stone and ryan gosling look amaze-baff amaze-balls." amaze balls. the pope tweeted that. elsewhere in the world of social media, fox's parent company news corp has reportedly sold myspace for around $35 million. you know, six years ago, they bought myspace for $580 million and sold it for 35. but they have a plan to make it all back. they just bought the rights to "spider-man the musical two." we should prank them. the moment the sale goes through, rejoining myspace and making it popular again. wouldn't that be good? this is pretty good. this is -- [ applause ] lady gaga is in japan right now and, well, watch this. >> thank you. it's a young japanese designer.
12:14 am
[ speaking japanese ] >> well, i really like pandas. >> panda! >> jimmy: they went crazy. panda gaga. what did they say? anything interesting? not really. all right. charlie sheen is back in the news. apparently the producers of "two and a half men" are planning to explain his sudden disappearance from the program by killing off his character. they're going to kill, so, now it's a race against time to see who can kill charlie sheen first. "two and a half men" or charlie himself. they're aware he's a war lock, right, and that death only makes him more powerful? that should be a fun thing for the cbs promo department. monday, on "two and a half men," your favorite character dies and is replaced by the guy from "punkd." i remember when coach died on
12:15 am
"cheers." it was upsetting. so, we asked kids out on the street today about how they think charlie sheen should die. and here's what they said. >> they should hit charlie sheen with a punch of barbie dolls until he's dead. >> they should whip him likee i "indiana jones" and stick him in a fire ant pit and the ants would just eat him and burn his face. >> i would probably blow him up. >> put poison in his pudding cup. >> they should set him on fire. >> stab him with this thing. >> dob bite! >> kill him wiwi a shotgun! >> knuckle sandwich. >> heart attack! >> stab him with a pocket knife? >> they should probably give him cancer like my cat. >> i think we should kill
12:16 am
charlie sheen by -- get a knife, get everything that can kill everything, like, a gun, cannon, a bazooka, get a -- he's sleeping and he can kill it [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: for those of you watching at home, suffice to say, that kid just said something that not only was weird, it's impossible. sarah palin says she's studying a possible presidential bid, still. she says she's weighing all her a decision by december of 2012.e her daughter bristol told fox news her mother has already made up her mind, though she's not telling anybyby that and reporters asked her about that. sarah said she called bristol and told her, what we talk about on the fishing boat stays o o te fishing boat. if you say it in the igloo, no.
12:17 am
and if you are harpooning walruses, it case by case. one of the things that's fuming rumors about a palin run is a movie that's been released about her. i don't want to ruin it, but she kills bambi and dumbo. she could wind up getting the maid pregnant and all hell would break loose. the documentary is called "the undefeated." the premiere was held in iowa. it was a packed house. they had to up the seating capacity due to the high demand for tickets which sounded a little bit like "inglourious basterds" to me. levi johnston locks the doors and sets the theater on fire. one thperson that was in attendance was our friend jake byrd. here he is during sarah palin's
12:18 am
vice presidential campaign in 2008. >> god bless america. >> yes! palin loves beaver! >> jimmy: he's very excitable. as you might imagine, when the movie premiered last night, jake bir byrd was there. >> i think sarah palin would be a fabulous president. she's a patriot. >> real patriot. >> sarah palin really does protect her family. >> that's right. she's a mamma grizzly bear and protects her cubs. except for that one time when he grizzly daughter went on that grizzly camping trip and got knocked up by that grizzly hockey player. other than that, perfect grizzly record. >> oh, my. sounds good. >> you sound good. you smell good. let me get a whiff. >> oh, geez.
12:19 am
>> check out what i got. i got a hard on for america and a hard on for sarah palin. you want a hard on for america? >> yep. >> let me get you. tell me if i'm poking your pacemaker. y you got tea saucer nipples, i can feel. you're reaea for milking. would you like a hard on for america? >> i will take that. >> let me get a little lower there. little lower. little lower. little lower. perfect. we've got a hard on for america! can i show you my sign, too? suck it, streep. there's a new movie star in town. >> i optioned the audio rights to "going rogue" which i used as
12:20 am
a linking device. >> canan congratulation you on a fantastic film? and this is not going to -- >> hang on. >> she's our movie star. she's our megan fox. my james bond. my wiley coyote. my john wayne. joan collins. my -- my robert de niro. my leonardo dicaprio. dr. house. my cat woman. my oprah. judge judy. tom cruise. katie holmes. transformers. green hornet. she's my kung fu panda. she's my -- >> come on here. >> she's my thor. my ironman. my slum dog millionaire. my prince caspian. my harry potter. my other than the chipmoneyings.
12:21 am
>> she was just a governor of alaska, dude. >> thank you for exposing those pictures of weiner's summer sausage. that was hilarious. see you. [ laughter ] sarah! sarah! sarah! come on, you got to take your shirt off or something. sarah! sarah. forget the presidency. she's going to win the oscar. best actress in america. oscar! oscar! oscar! you got it, sarah. you got this e. oscar! signgny milk duds. she said yes! thank you. you're awesome. you are ridiculously awesome. >> thank you so much. >> shehe signed my bilk duds. >> well, the governor arrived 15
12:22 am
minutes ago. she's inside. about 324 people -- you can see, a lot of -- >> she signed my milk duds. >> you can see -- >> as far as we know, we won't get to talk to her, but we're going to try. >> always a crowd when palin shows up. thanks dave. >> that's my guy. can i get a hug? that's my guide right there. that's todd. todd the wad, baby. enjoy the movie, sarah! don't let todd pull the popcorn trick on you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: tremendous job, jake. >> she signed my milk duds. >> jimmy: jake byrd, everybody. wee have we have a good show tonight. dave salmoni and his animals are here. we have music from parachute. and we'll be right back with kevin nealon, so stick around. ♪ come on everybody
12:23 am
♪ gonna have a good time tonight ♪ come in for a great time at olive garden. enjoy our new carbonara ravioli with chicken for just $10.95. pancetta and parmesan-filled ravioli served with pan-seared chicken in creamy parmesan sauce. ♪ family affair or with sauteed shrimp for $12.95. both with unlimited breadsticks and salad or homemade soup. a great meal sure to end with a smile. olive garden. when you're here, you're family. olive garden. get 5% cash back when you use chase freedom for gas. don't miss out. activate your 5% today. go to
12:24 am
sweet land of buy two items and get a third one free! of free i sing. anncr: it's the let freedom ring sale. buy two items, get a 3rd item free. now at old navy. ♪ -wee! -woo hoo. [ kids ] pop-tarts, please! [ laughter ] ♪ [ female announcer ] when you give your kids frosted strawberry pop-tarts baked with real fruit, they'll rise and you'll shine. pop-tarts. made for fun.
12:25 am
to create thermocontrol. designed with the comfort of athletic fabrics in mind, stayfree® with thermocontrol quickly wicks moisture away for exceptional dryness. thermocontrol only from stayfree®. for exceptional dryness.
12:26 am
12:27 am
>> jimmy: thank you, cleto, singing, dancing over the years. on the show tonight, a man who has harnessed the power animals and, despite my specific instructions not to, has brought them here tonight. he has a new show called "expedition impossible" here on abc. dave salmoni is with us. and then, the music from this new album, though it looks like a very old album from my parents' record collection. it's called "the way it was." parachute from the bud light stage. this summer, you can see parachute on tour with goo goo dolls and michelle branch. tomorrow night, shia labeouf, green bay packers quarterback aaron rodgers, and music from 311. so join us then, too. our first guest tonight is a funny fellow if ever there was one. you know him from nine seasons on "saturday night live" and now
12:28 am
seven seasons on "weeds" as the sizicly stoned doug. watch it mondays at 10:00 on showtime. plplse say hello to kevin nealon. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: delight to see you. this is your 19th appearance on the show. i think that makes us roommates now. >> yes. 19 and counting. >> jimmy: how is everything going? >> doesn't seem like 19. >> jimmymyit goes by quickly. >> it's been consecutive, too. >> jimmy: that is the weird part about it. we just got on a jag there and kept going with itit. >> we had to finishh the conversation. >> jimmy: everything all right? >> everything's good. >> jimmy: family's okay? >> no. >> jimmy: no? >> no, everything's good. >> jimmy: what have you been up to? >> i got to tell you, jimmy. i used to poo poo this a lot, but i started meditating. i've been stressed out. and it worked for awhile, but
12:29 am
now it's become worrying. i start meditating and i start worrying about stuff. probably because of my mantra. my mantra is "oh no." >> jimmy: yeah, that's probably it. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: what do have to be worried about? >> that's a good yequestion. i was worried about the rapture for awhile, like a lot of people. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you bought billboards in our neighborhood, which surprised me. >> but you know, what? two days before it was supposed to it, i knew it wasn't happening, because i know australia is two days ahead of us. i made a random call to australia and they were fine. i just called somebody, the refrigerator was running and prince albert was in a can, so cool. it was cool. >> jimmy: that is a relief. >> i worry about all kinds of things. i have a kid, too. i have a 4-year-old.
12:30 am
>> jimmy: are you a worrier? are you a strict parent with your son? >> well, we're trying to get h h into a good school for kindergarten up to eighth grade and it's really hard. you want a good school but they're all, like, rich white kid schools, you know? i want him to be diversified. i want him to be with a lot -- but the education is great. maybe on the side i'll have him join a gang. just for the -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a really good idea. how old is he? >> he's 4 years old. >> jimmy: he's 4 years old. [ laughter ] >> you have to start them young in the gang. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> but i'm like a tiger mom with him. >> jimmy: are you really? i never imagine you as a tiger mom. what does that mean? >> well, i got him started on piano lessons. he has to practice 12 hours a day. but it's just one key. just one key. you know -- we mix up the tempo a little bit. >> jimmy: uh-huh. is he getting good? >> he's getting angry.
12:31 am
he's getting angry. >> jimmy: i got something from your website. i got crabs from your website. >> you're not the first one. >> jimmy: no, you -- >> you should always wear protection when you check out my weweite. >> jimmy: you posted some drawings you made. i know you're on the plane a lot. i think these are very good. there's a theme. >> the back of the head of the guy in front of me. >> jimmy: this is the back of -- the dude in front. there's another guy. >> jimmy: i get so bored on the plane. this is -- >> silhouette. >> jimmy: night flight. what's going on with this guy here? >> this is a weird guy. he was just standing in the aisle, you know, a few rows ahead of me, just looking down the aisle. he looked kind of european. >> jimmy: he has smell lines coming off him. >> no, those are really coming up. >> jimmy: this onene- this one's
12:32 am
my favorite one, i think. guy is very business-like. no, wait, this is my favorite. just like my grandma, by the way. do you -- do they catch you, ever, drawing them? >> no, i'm very good about that. i can be drawing you right now and you would never know. >> jimmy: i would not know it? because i'll do that and get mad when they move. because i feel like they should posing for me. >> say i was drawing you -- >> jimmy: let me get you a pen. >> you're a passenger and you're sitting. every time you look over. [ laughter ] that's the secret. >> jimmy: i like that. >> one step ahead. >> jimmy: so, you're on the plane, you'll see kevin and he's probably drawing you and then people should be complimented by that, i think. >> yeah, yeah.
12:33 am
i was coming back from lake tahoho once and don cheadle was sitting across from me in the aisle, you know? and this is after "hotel rwanda." big hit. maybe about eight months to a year after it. and i had a script that i was reading and on the front of it, i wrote "hotel rwanda 2," and i had it like this so he could see it. >> jimmy: did he glance over? >> he went, oh, you -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is unbelievable. "weeds" has been on for seven seasons now. congratulations [ cheers and applause ] you -- i know you do that whole thing. but you guys don't really spoke smoke on the show? >> no -- it's a honey rose herb that we smoke. >> jimmy: for real? >> yeah, it's a real honey rose
12:34 am
herb. it's not as innocent. we get it from the honey rose herb cartel in colombia. >> jimmy: is that right? >> they won't cut your head off or anything, but they'll nag you to death. where's the money for the honey rose we sent you? >> jimmy: well, it's great to see you. congratulations. i'm glad everything is going so well. kevin nealon, everyone. the new season of "weeds" is mondays at 10:00 on showtime. we'll be right back with dave salm salmoni and animals. i like things stacked. ♪ we like things stuffed. [ all ] topped! [ male announcer ] applebee's knows what the neighborhood likes, so we're serving up stacked, stuffed, and topped entrees! like the new chicken parmesan stack for only $9.99. there's also the new florentine topped house sirloin, provolone stuffed meatballs and more. stacked, stuffed d d loaded with the flavor you love.
12:35 am
stacked, stuffed and topped! i like things smooshed. we'll work on that. [ male announcer ] only at applebee's. open 'til midnight or later. [ male announcer ] only at applebee's. [ madifferentcer ] wfrom other deodorants?e only dove men+care combines 48 hour protection with our caring 1/4 moisturizer technology in a non-irritant formula. new dove men+care deodorant. tough on sweat not on skin. before you say anything, it was 1995. [ kenny ] it was '93. kenny, 1995 was the year the song came out. it was '93. that was your 5th year of high school. it was 1995. ha! 10 bucks says it's '93. yeah, well that's 10 bucks you're gonna have to put in my pocket. whatever. "whoomp! there it is" was '93. it was clearly nineteen ninety...
12:36 am
kenny, the restaurant's on fire. i'll call you back. wait, wait... [ male announcer ] only at&t's network lets your iphone talk and surf at the same time. [ bell dings ] yeah, dirt? do you think the two of us will ever find the one? well, we've been left behind by so many mops and brooms... aw, man! ...but we have got... see ya! ...each other. ♪ what about love?! [ male announcer ] swiffer attracts dirt. the 2 in 1 swiffer sweeper useseslectrostatic dry cloths to trap and lock more dirt than a broom and uses dirt dissolving wet cloths to clean better than a mop. you're quite the pickup artist! [ male announcerer 2 in 1 swiffer sweeper gives cleaning a whole new meaning.
12:37 am
12:38 am
12:39 am
>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. still to come, parachute will be with us. every few months or so, our next guest buys a box of dangerous animals on craigslist and then brings them here to scare me. there's already something going on back there. he's also the host of a new reality competition show called "expedition impossible." you can watch it thursday nights at 9:00 here on abc. please welcome -- oh, no -- dave salmoni and his animal friends. hey, dave. how are you? >> whoa, hey. come on, fella. we need treats here. we have a bowl of treats over there? >> jimmy: ah, yeah. >> get involved here.
12:40 am
>> jimmy: right in frowhat -- >> right in front of you. >> j jmy: what is that? >> a squirrel monkey. >> jimmy: there you go. >> he wants more. >> jimmy: take my wallet while you're at it. >> every time i bring an animal, i'm going to try to make you fall in love with it. >> jimmy: it's not going to happen. i'd be happy -- can i be honest with you? >> please do. >> jimmy: i feel like -- you feel like you have control over the animals but one of them could mistake my eyeball for a grape and pull it right out of my face. >> not eddie. he's more of a -- >> jimmy: i kind of like eddie. i could own -- >> touch his back. >> jimmy: i feel like i'm being tricked. >> the only way you get aggression this guy is if you try to take the food from him. people think, they make great pets because it's little and sweet. they are terrible pets. >> jimmy: they are? >> he will get older and start
12:41 am
biting. >> jimmy: well, then you just throw him in the garbage, right? what is he made of? felt? okay, all right. eddie -- do we know what this guy is -- >> that's his dad. >> jimmy: now, this is not -- i'm going to put the food away. >> not nice and soft as -- >> jimmy: this is a beautiful animal. >> this is a bob cat. >> jimmy: oh, from "police academy?" >> he likes the neck rub. can you do that? >> jimmy: i don't think so. i -- >> this is really calming for hip. >> jimmy: can't they sense fear? >> they can. but they're used to it. let me put him up there. back of the neck. >> jimmy: i don't really want -- >> just like i did there. like that. you're going to fall in love with this guy. i promise. >> jimmy: i'm worried about him not loving me. >> i'm watching him.
12:42 am
a i'll warn you. >> jimmy: yeah. >> this guy can take something down as big as a deer. >> jimmy: really? >> he's got these two big canines in the front top there -- >> jimmy: why would a cat have canines? that seems weird. traitors in his mouth. wow. what is his name? >> you see him suffocate a deer -- >> jimmy: really? >> and this guy, off a deer, can survive months -- >> jimmy: where does this guy live? and can i stop petting him now? >> yeah. he's molting a little bit. >> jimmy: is he at full size? >> he's only a year old. they look like great pets. right around 4 is when people have trouble. >> jimmy: this doesn't look like a great pet to me. it looks like a dangerous, >> my other favorite thing that i would love to show you if -- >> jimmy: his penis?
12:43 am
>> his tail. it's all bobbed there. >> jimmy: oh, hello. you taking him? how many -- if -- could a crazy old lady have 70 of those -- >> one of those would hurt the old lady. i have a fun guy. and this guy would care you at all. >> jimmy: well, that's where you're wrong. all right. >> that's a chameleon. >> jimmy: look at that color. is thihigoing to hurt me? >> no. you see his hands there. they are going to grip around your finger. this little tail is going to wraparound you like that. he changes colors? >> yeah, he can be green, blue, red. >> jimmy: what makes him changn color? >> a hormone change. when his mood changes -- >> jimmy: like if he's going through menopause? >> see, he's turning green right now. >> jimmy: he is. the moods mean something -- >> i don't think it's like a mood ring. it's more like -- it's a change.
12:44 am
there are different colors in the different places. it's what it's used for is to hide from predators. if it sees a predator -- >> jimmy: what are the predators? >> anything that's bigger. they're not that good at getting away. so, big birds will go after them. >> jimmy: they don't look that delicious, i'll be honest with you. >> i think that's their hope. anything that's nature is big, brigig colors are saying to the predator, hey, i don't taste very well. >> jimmy: are you allowed to keep these as pets? they're not illegal -- any of these exotics, though they seem like a great idea, you can get an aquarium, they're not meant to be in houses. they don't have great full lives in houses. >> jimmy: because this one -- it's orange, like, it looks a little bit like snooki. >> that's because you see it's got the goinggoogly eyes. let me take this guy. >> jimmy: that looks like a
12:45 am
snack -- oh, my god. that bo >> that boll. >> your audience was terrified there. >> jimmy: this looks like a cute animal. but what is the fact about this animal? >> this is the most aggressive, dangerous bird in the a amal kingdom. >> jimmy: oh, my god. and it's running around the audience, why? >> at this age, he's not dangerous to anybody. it's okay, buddy. >> jimmy: what will happen when he gets older? >> he's going to get double the size. you see the big toe? that's what he will use, he will put both feet like that and be able to open people up. >> jimmy: open people up? >> they kill people. with those big toes. you want to come over, see if you can get him to jump? they open people up with the big, powerful legs. see if we can get him to jump. >> jimmy: do we want him to? >> it's cool. you see the big strong muscles. i keep trying to convince you
12:46 am
that animals are fun. >> jimmy: it's not working. >> another one there? >> jimmy: this could turn into a disney movie where he joins the lakers. [ applause ] >> hey, there he goes. thank you so much. >> jimmy: all right, we have more animals backstage. dave salmoni is here. the show is called "expedition impossible," thursday nights here on abc. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
12:47 am
[ punching, grunting ] consider this: over 70% of firefighters are local volunteers... these are our neighbors putting their lives on the line. and when they rely on a battery, there are firefighters everywhere who trust duracell. and now you can join with duracell to help. just buy specially-marked packs & duracell will make a battery donation to local volunteers. these days don't we all need someone to trust...? duracell. trusted everywhere. these days don't we all need sohere, take the card. you go to the shops... i'll meet you at the gate. thanks. please remove all metal objects out of your pockets. with chase freedom... you can get cash back on what you buy everyday.
12:48 am
that's 5% cash back in bonus categories every three months. and an unlimited 1% everywhere else. and this too... i'm going to need a supervisor over here at gate 4. activate your 5% cash back today at or at your local chase branch. you are the next mayor... [ announcer ] you are the next trending topic. of this bar. you are the next most viewed. you are the next leader. you are the next breath of fresh air. you are the next sensation. ♪ when i get older i i ll be stronger ♪ the htc sensation 4g. instantly connecting you to just about everything. available at t-mobile.
12:49 am
12:50 am
12:51 am
they're kind of my thing. and they were looking... nasty. vile. but i used tide and tide booster, and look at them now! now they can be my thing forever. yay. that's my tide. what's yours? i use tide sport because it helps get odors out of athletic clothes. i mean, i wear my yoga pants for everything. hiking, biking, pilates... [ woman ] brooke... okay.
12:52 am
i wear yoga pants because i am too lazy for real pants. that's my tide. what's yours? [ all ] topped! [ male announcer ] applebee's knows what the neighborhood likes! so we created stacked, stuffed d topped entrees, starting at $9.99. stacked, stuffed and loaded with the flavor you love. only at applebee's. open 'til midnight or later. now,listen to a magazine,aper, with the flavor you love. curl up with a movie, and see a phone call. now, we can take a classroom anywhere, hold an entire bookstore, and touch the stars. because now.w.there's this.
12:53 am
[ all ] topped! [ male announcer ] applebee's knows what the neighborhood likes! so we created stacked, stuffed d topped entrees, starting at $9.99.
12:54 am
stacked, stuffed and loaded with the flavor you love. only at applebee's. open 'til midnight or later.
12:55 am
>> jimmy: we're back with dave salmoni. and, this is a walabee. >> it.
12:56 am
would you like to hold him? >> jimmy: i don't know -- >> there you go. >> jimmy: these are not dangngous? >> going to eat your microphone. he may be dangerous to your mic microphone and tie. >> jimmy: that's all right. >> big kangaroos, they can get dangerous. they have big toe much like that bird you just saw that can kick peek. >> jimmy: the boxing gloves, yeah. >> this guy does the same thing. he can lean back and use the big feet. but he's only a baby and he just wants to hang out. >> jimmy: and he lives in, like, in the -- like, storage container or something -- >> he's in australia. >> jimmy: look at how relaxed i am. >> i can pull out -- you can see his front, free-climbing -- >> jimmy: he is cute. >> look at the big back feet. those are his jumping feet. now i'm going to grab his tail.
12:57 am
>> jimmy: let's not get crazy. >> you seem petrified right now. >> jimmy: i am. not everyone is natural with animals. i'm from brooklklyn and we don' have animals there. >> treat him like a raccoon. >> jimmy: i hate those. they're scary. your new show is nonanimal related. >> well, we have camels and donkeys and horses in it -- >> jimmy: they're not competing. >> no. it's a race across morocco. it's 13 teams of three racing across morocco. we push them to the point where they almost break. they cross the desert with camels. you'll see tomorrow night they are riding arabian stallions. it's really fun. >> jimmy: you had a blind guy on the show? >> eric iss one of the most amazing human becomes. we have a wide variety of contestants, we have little girls from kansas, cops, firemen. and these are all able-bodied,
12:58 am
really tough guys and they are competing against eric, our blind guy, who is holding his own and showing them up. >> jimmy: and that is designed to humiliate the contestants, right? >> you would think that. but as you watch the series, as it goes, i'm so impressed by this guy. i wouldn't mind losing to him. >> jimmy: he wouldn't be scared of that adorable -- >> you hear this guy, i have to get on this horse today. if i fall off, i don't know what i'm falling into. you picture the difficult things. they go through the ringer, these guys. picturing -- he's going to do it in the dark. >> jimmy: just getting to the bathroom in the middle of the night. >> our cast is so strong. we literally -- it's a mark burnett series. and he's so good at making it so diverse that everybody at home is going to have somebody to relate to. if that guy can do it, i can do it. >> jimmy: i'm glad you're finally working with humans. next time, bring some baby humans out and i would love to hold them.
12:59 am
david salmoni, everybody. "expetiti "expedition impossible," thursday nights at 9:00 here on abc. we'll be right back with parachute. lysol knows a real clean isn't just something you see...
1:00 am
... it's something you smell. new lysol no mess automatic toilet bowl cleaner not only cleans your toilet with every flush, but also freshens your entire bathroom. so even in between deep cleans, it's as fresh as any room in your home. for tips on a healthy home, visit
1:01 am
>> jimmy: this is their new album. it's called "the way it was."
1:02 am
here with the song "something to believe in," with some help from the cletones, parachute! ♪ you wake up every morning looking for your answer you're waiting for your sign ♪ ♪ while jeremiah's on his way to tell the people ♪ ♪ but you watch him pass you by you spend your days alone ♪ ♪ still hoping for a true but you don't wanna try ♪ ♪ you swear the world has got you backed into a corner ♪ ♪ but no one holds your hand to walk into a fight you swear the light is gonna find you ♪ ♪ but it can't find you when you're waiting all the time
1:03 am
you say keep my head from going down ♪ ♪ just for a little just for a little watch my feet float off the ground ♪ ♪ just for a little just for a little love if you can hear this sound ♪ ♪ oh just give me something something to believe in you spend your days alone still hopin' for the truth ♪ ♪ oh but all you hear are lies but no on else is gonna tell you what to do now ♪ ♪ no one else is gonna help you hold the line ♪ ♪ sometimes it's hard to keep on living but you're the one who's got to ♪
1:04 am
♪ know just when it's right you say keep my head from going down ♪ ♪ just for a little just for a little watch my feet float off the ground ♪ ♪ just for a little just for a little love if you can hear this sound ♪ ♪ oh just give me something something to believe in love come take me now ♪ ♪ love come take me love come take me now ♪ ♪ you say keep my head from going down just for a little just for a little ♪ ♪ watch my feet float off the ground


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on