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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  February 10, 2012 12:00am-1:05am PST

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and sex tonight. thanks for watching abc news. we hope you'll check in for "good morning america." they're working while you're sleeping. we're always online at jimmy kimmel's up next. see you here tomorrow. up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- courteney cox. >> you tweeted in 2 weeks, 1,111 times. >> go, me. >> we have new york giants fans in the audience tonight? >> new york giants mario manningham and ahmad bradshaw. >> do you feel bad about making tom brady cry? >> better him than us. >> plus, music from tony bennett.igigigigigigigigigigigig
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- courteney cox. new york giants mario manningham and ahmad bradshaw. plus, tony bennett. with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> reporter: that's very nice. thank you. thank you, cleto. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching.
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thanks for being here tonight. thanks for not fronting, i hate that. what is fronting? i was talking to my friend, baby doll today. this is a grown man named baby doll. we were talking about something on the show last night. we showed a clip of wolf blitzer saying omg. and he was laughing about it. and he said, what does that mean? omg? it means oh, my god. he says, i don't like that stuff. [ laughter ] and then, i lol'd for quite a while. [ laughter ] the initials for things are kind of annoying. k.o.a., you know? i blame mtv for this. tonight on mtv, there was a new episode of "jersey shore." or the dr. drew pregame show. there's eight episodes left. who knows? that could be it. we need to get a few more seasons out of the ladies before
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they graduate to "mob wives." snooki has been on quite a tear this season. she no longer uses the bathroom. she now urinates almost exclusively outside or on the dance floor. like an animal. a national geographic special about a tiny, drunken kinkajew marking his territory. and snooki knows her geography, too. >> it hurts my eye balls. the sun's too powerful today. daytime is so annoying. like, go away. so bright out. i hate you. in arkansas, it's always dark out. just, everything's dark, always. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. [ laughter ] we laugh. but in three years, she'll be substitute teaching our kids. [ laughter ] vinny had a shining moment tonight, too. on tonight's episode, the gang went out to a club. which was surprising.
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and vinny found himself confronted by a young lady who had no interest in him because she likes other young ladies. >> let's find girls. >> you help me out. >> wait. do you like guys, too? >> you don't like guys at all? that's a challenge to me. i think girls can like guys. is it feminism. i think i'm a good transition for a lesbian girl. >> she doesn't like to [ bleep ] guys. when you take a lesbian back to the straight team, that's like christopher columbus like discovering america. that's a major accomplishment. >> jimmy: he's right, it is. christopher columbus was the original juicehead gorilla. and he came to america in search of lesbians. it's true. [ laughter ] in other "jersey shore" news, pauley d.'s new show has an official air date. march 9th, after "punk'd." maybe it is an episode of
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"punk'd." on fox, the second night of hollywood week on "american idol." one of the contestants sang "i have a golden ticket," from charlie and the chocolate factory. he only got part of the way through it. before he could finish, i obliterated my tv set with a shotgun. there was drama on the show last night. a contestant named simone had an accident. and this is not a joke. this is really how they ended the show last night. >> oh. >> [ bleep ]. >> tomorrow night, find out what happens to simone. >> jimmy: tune in tomorrow to find out if simone is dead. [ laughter ] imagine if she was and they teased it. she wasn't, by the way. she was fine. she was just dehydrated. but i love the shot of the judges when she falls. randy and j. lo are concerned. and steven tyler is looking at
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her like a hyena looks at a wounded wildebeest. the ratings for "american idol" have been down so far this season. executive producer nigel lithgow blamed the drop on him lar shows like "the x-factor" and "the voice." it's strong. and they're doing everything to make money. and they have a special offer for fans. >> this valentine's day, instead of flowers and candy, give her the gift that lasts a lifetime. now, you can name a rejected "american idol" contestant for your loved one. >> yeah. >> introducing, the international "idol" contestant registry. we'll hand-pick a one-of-a-kind contestant, named for your loved one. packaged in an elegant heart-shaped box, each containing a framed photo of your contestant, along with a
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certificate of authenticity. and you'll get a pitchy necklace at no extra cost. she'll love it. >> stop following me. >> they may not be going to hollywood. but they're coming to your house. warning, do not let idol rejects inside your home. should your idol reject contact you, call the police immediately. the "american idol" reject registry. because the heart has no ears. >> available at walgreens. >> jimmy: that's something. heart doesn't have any ears. a heart is deaf. do we have any -- do we have new york giants fans in the audience tonight? [ cheers and applause ] you're in luck then because giants wide receiver mario manningham and running back ahmad bradshaw are here with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] they won a football game this weekend. the giants had a victory parade in new york on tuesday. an estimated 1 million people showed up to cheer them on. it was generally a peaceful event. but you get that many people
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together, some weird things are going to happen. and well, this happened to this guy, who climbed the side of the building to get a better view. >> whoa. oh. yeah. >> he should just jump back into the crowd. >> oh. >> jimmy: fortunately, he landed on simone from "american idol." so, he's fine. everyone is fine. [ applause ] everyone. even herman cain is fine. herman cain is back out on the trail, making speeches. and that is always good news. cain made a speech at the conservative political action conference in washington, d.c. today. and well, enjoy. >> we must outsmart the liber
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liberals. we must outsmart the stupid people that are trying to run america. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there are no stupid people. there are only stupid hats. remember that. meanwhile, donald trump seems to be out of the race for president for good. that doesn't mean he isn't still leading the crusade of evils that plague our nation. the donald placed a video on his youtube channel. and he's really fired up. >> you're probably reading there's a lot of hoopla about windmills. they're horrible structures. they make noise. they kill birds by the thousands. they're really destructive. i don't care who the environmentalist is, they're not good. >> jimmy: finally, someone has the balls to stand up against windmills. i've been saying this for years. [ applause ]
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he's slowly turn into one of the old guys from the muppets, right? [ laughter ] you know, windmill actually has killed the animal that lives on his head. so, he has a personal vendetta. so, to sum up for donald trump, windmills bad, gary busey good. gary busey is in financial trouble. he filed for bankruptcy this week, which is surprising. you would think gary busey would make sound investment decisions. apparently not. he only has $50,000 in personal assets. and $500,000 in personal debt. what is gary busey spending so much money on? not hair cuts. that's for sure. he may be forced to sell advertising space on his teeth. [ laughter ] this is -- i saw this picture online today. this is arnold schwarzenegger's personal photo. it's him and sylvester stallone
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in the hospital together. hopefully he's in there getting a vasectomy. he is making a "v," sign with his hands there. arnold posted a message with the photograph. he said after all the action, stunts and physical abuse -- it's hard not to talk like him. shooting the expendables in the last stand, it was time for a little tuneup on my shoulder. and look who was coincidentally waiting behind me for shoulder surgery. what a coincidence. the truth is, arnold schwarzenegger asked sylvester stallone to be there, in case maria showed up with a scalpel. has any of you watched "the family feud" recently? it seems like it's become a lot edgier since steve harvey took over. this is courtesy of the chang family. i don't know how this is the first thing that popped into this guy's head. it was. and it popped out of his mouth, too. >> we talked to 100 men. what would you do if you
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received an obscene phone call from a woman? >> what would i do? or a man? >> 100 men. >> masturbate. >> from a woman. from a woman, right? 100 men. you're asking me, right? >> jimmy: survey says, eww. needless to say, steve harvey did not shake his hand. here's -- this is a strange story out of puerto rico. apparently they've got two big problems in puerto rico. number one their economy is in bad shape. and number two, they've been overrun with iguanas. there's iguanas all over the place. so, the government has come up with a plan to solve both problems at once. they want to export the iguana meat as food. i heard that iguana tastes like chicken. it's delicious. this seems like a very american solution to me. we've got a problem. can we eat it? [ laughter ] apparently there are so many iguanas in puerto rico, they've
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even had to put in an emergency alert system. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you hear that, run. would have eaten some iguana wings on sunday. i looked into it. iguana meat is very popular in the united states, among latino and asian immigrants. we have both of those groups here in los angeles. we thought maybe we would give a try here to see if it catches on. we sent my cousin sal out on hollywood boulevard, with a tray of delicious, fresh iguana. we wanted people to let people walking past our theater give it a try. and so, we did. >> puerto rico's been overrun by iguanas. what they're doing is, they're sending them out as a delicacy.
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>> okay. >> and our friend, chef tony, from weinstein's bistro got a shipment this morning. he's prepared something nice for us. you want to try it? >> okay. >> try it. you won't be disappointed. oh, what happened? did you see that? oh. ♪ eat barbecued iguana >> it's fried? >> deep-fried. >> are you all right? >> i'm cool. >> oh. all right. oh, right? oh. oh. take a look at that right there. >> oh. >> it's okay. [ applause ] >> jimmy: it's thursday night. it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc, where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary
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censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> michigan. >> danny [ bleep ] head. >> he rallied the team around one word. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ] every practice. [ bleep ] every play. [ bleep ] every game. >> when you look at the patriots, their defense is a little [ bleep ]. >> she feels horrible for putting madonna in that position. she [ bleep ]. >> you said you are ready for me? >> yes. >> and i'm ready to [ bleep ]. >> i'm the only person in this race, republican or democrat, who has never [ bleep ] in washington. >> now he has stuck his finger in the [ bleep ] of the roman catholics. >> guess what? it's the [ bleep ] that has built our campaign. >> you know why he comes? 'cause i [ bleep ] him. yes. >> kim's ex, kris humphries has a new girlfriend. and more shacking, he [ bleep ] her with his teammates. >> i see [ bleep ] everywhere.
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>> once you find out you are [ bleep ] up, you jump onboard. you say, yeah. >> fill in the blank. i judge a man by the size of his [ bleep ]. >> size of his [ bleep ]. >> i hate this. i'm never doing this again. here. >> yes. >> i have been told that there's a large black [ bleep ] trapped inside of my body. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was fabulous. we've got a great show for you tonight. from the super bowl champion new york giants, mario manningham and ahmad bradshaw are here. the great tony bennett is here. and we'll be right back with courteney cox. so, stick around. [ cheers and applause ] yes.
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all the fruit flavors you love... in a tasty new combination. [ laughing and cheering ] pop-tarts. joylicious. [ laughing and cheering ] ashlee! ashlee! ashlee! ashlee! what were you looking for when you bought your edge? um, i was definitely looking for fuel economy. that's the whole reason we, we wanted to look at the ecoboost. can you talk a little bit about the style of the edge? um, well, i think it's very hip. i even have several guys were like "whoa, do have twenties on those". like, don't even know what that means, but i guess it's cool. (laugh) [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back. tonight on the program, two very
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large men with very new rings. from the super bowl champion new york giants, mario manningham and ahmad bradshaw are here. [ cheers and applause ] dicky's a patriots' fan. so, he's not as excited as everyone else. and then, a living legend, with music from his latest album, "duets ii," the incomparable tony bennett is with us. [ cheers and applause ] that's all right. we have a nice lineup next week. chris pine will be here, as will khloe kardashian odom. john goodman. kevin nealon. jeff goldblum. david alan grier. "science bob" pflugfelder will be here. and we'll have music from miley cyrus, lana del rey, puscifer and robin thicke. please join us next week. our first guest is a delightful actress who helped teach this country all we needed to know about caucasian friendship. she continues to grace us on her show "cougar town." it has its season premiere next tuesday at 8:30 on abc. please welcome courteney cox. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]
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how are you? >> i'm great. how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing well, thank you. >> good. >> jimmy: you had a very long therapy session on "the howard stern show" i listened to. it went on for about 40 minutes. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: that's true, right? >> it's so true. >> jimmy: you were in bed, talking to howard about every detail of your personal life. >> i was in bed with christa miller, my co-star on "cougar town." >> jimmy: that's a good start. >> it's a weird thing. i'm so used to david doing howard stern and calling me up. >> jimmy: david arquette, your now separated husband? >> we're separated, yeah. >> jimmy: he would go on all the time. >> he would go on. and he would regret for talking so much. he wouldn't help it. and he would go, i hope you're not going to be mad at me. david, i would understand. and sometimes i would be a little mad. but this is the first time that
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i actually called him. i was, like, i hope you're not going to be mad at me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: was he mad? >> you can't help but just spit out all this information to this guy. >> jimmy: yeah. well, he has a way of lulling you hypnotically into a feeling that you're not on the radio. >> you're not on. >> jimmy: but you were on the radio because i heard it in my house. >> yes, i was. unfortunately, i was on the radio. >> jimmy: and did david hear the whole thing in his house? >> david wrote me. it was the first time that david writes me, what did you say? dude, you don't have room to talk. >> jimmy: yeah, really. that's like -- i think it's 18-1, now. he'd go on there and talk about all sorts of things in your personal life. >> he's so sweet. he can't help it. we don't mean the be the most open people in the world. >> jimmy: you're very understanding. i have to say. i think that's interesting. and that you and david have such a good relationship. you're really making everyone that's ever split up with anyone look very, very bad. >> oh, good. that's what we're trying to do. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: david's going to be on "cougar town," with you.
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>> yes. david was on "cougar town." he was great. people don't understand why. we are fond of each other. we're best friends. i know it's confusing if you break up. we're great. and he was so funny on the show. he's great to work with. i adore him. >> jimmy: did you shoot the show today? >> no. but i -- i feel like i should go back to work. i'm so much busier when i'm not working. >> jimmy: why are you so much busier when you're not working? >> i'm directing a movie for lifetime, called "tall, hot blonde." just a lot of meetings. and cocoa, try to get her off to school. i asked her did she finish her antibiotics. she was supposed to take the last thing. mom, stop making me so guilty. today is the most important day of my life. it's pajama day. >> jimmy: what? >> all right. >> jimmy: it's pajama day? >> it's pajama day. >> jimmy: did she really say it was the most important day of her life. >> i'm going to ruin -- i used
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to say it wrong. ruin. i forgot. anyway, the most important day is pajama day. what happened was, i got a call saying, coco didn't get one of her stuffed animals. and all the kids are carrying their things they love to sleep with. i'm like, oh, man. i have to get piggy there. i have a meeting at lifetime. i can't be late. but i have piggy. i don't know what to do. i had to swing by. and i scored so many points. >> jimmy: piggy made it to school? >> she was holding a dinosaur that one of her friends must have brought two. you know, the good mom. [ laughter ] i was like, drop the dinosaur, kid. >> jimmy: piggy is here. >> piggy wants you. yeah. >> jimmy: you directed cocoa in an episode of "cougar town," that hasn't aired yet, right? >> i directed a couple episodes this year. and the last one, cocoa was in. yes. and she was -- >> jimmy: how did she do? >> she was pretty good. she's not a great listener. >> jimmy: she's 7 years old? >> she's 7 1/2. >> jimmy: okay.
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>> and she didn't have a lot to do. but, you know -- >> jimmy: what was her -- >> it took a few days. >> jimmy: i know you brought a videotape. what was she supposed to do? >> act natural, eat ice cream and walk. not that hard. >> jimmy: yeah. we have a videotape here. >> yeah. >> jimmy: talk us through what's going on here. okay opinion here's -- >> here we go. that's cocoa. great outfit. she picked it out herself. >> jimmy: in the uggs. >> she looked at the camera. >> jimmy: that's a no-no. you told her not to do that again. okay. >> oh. she's like, i knew this was going to happen. >> jimmy: and she did it -- that was perfect, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: was she excited? has she seen it yet? >> she saw it. >> jimmy: do you think she wants to be an actor now? >> oh, dear lord. i hope not. >> jimmy: you really hope not? >> yeah. >> jimmy: why? >> i just can't -- really? i mean, i have a feeling i have no choice just because of david and myself. >> jimmy: you probably don't.
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>> she's a show girl. >> jimmy: how long have you been tweeting now? >> i'd say a little over two weeks. >> jimmy: a little over two weeks. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i was alerted to this today. you tweeted, in 2 weeks, 1,211 times. >> go, me. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a lot. >> carpel tunnel. >> jimmy: i've been on twitter for almost 3 years. and i have tweeted 43 times less than you. >> that's pathetic. why do i feel like your tweets are -- mine are like, hi. >> jimmy: they're not e-mails. you don't have to tweet back to every, single person that tweets you. >> is that right? >> jimmy: it's certainly nice of you to do. >> thanks. >> jimmy: you're like the white kanye west. this is ridiculous. >> i'm not good at tweet still. >> jimmy: it's not the quality. it's the quantity. that's what they say. >> then i'm kanye west. >> jimmy: you are. it's been a long time since "cougar town" was on.
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>> nine months. >> jimmy: nine months? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and the new season starts -- >> february 14th. on valentine's day. you know? we need you to watch. >> jimmy: you have a very loyal fan base. the show has -- people are almost participatory in the show, where they're drinking along with the show when they watch. >> i need to get back because i feel -- i've gone off the wagon. i've been on the wagon. i need to get back to work. >> jimmy: you guys drink at work. yes, you hit the microphone. you're drunk right now, aren't you? you didn't let cocoa drink wine when she was on the show, did you? >> is that bad? >> jimmy: i think it is. you have to wait until they're 9. yeah. we have a clip here from the season premiere of the show. >> you do? >> jimmy: you did not direct this one? >> you like to act like i didn't know that? >> jimmy: sometimes people really don't know. >> i like when we have clips. you want people to see the show. and you can watch me. >> jimmy: this means a lot. so, everyone pay really close
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attention. here it is. "cougar town." take a look. >> you know, you'd be less mad just by getting naked, right here. oh, no, no, no. not the mouth guard. >> oh, yes. once the mouth guard is in, this store is closed. >> one day, i will sleep with you after you put that vile thing in your mouth. it's my everest. come here. >> get back. >> just come. >> i mean it. >> a little bit. >> it's going in. >> jimmy: that is a real thing, the mouth guard thing. >> i have it. >> jimmy: well, it's great to see you. i hope everyone tunes in on valentine's day. "cougar town" airs tuesdays at 8:30 on abc. courteney cox, everyone. we'll be right back with the giants. [ cheers and applause ]
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next week on "jimmy kimmel live" -- jeff goldblum. chris pine. john goodman. david alan grier. kevin nealon. "science bob" pflugfelder. and khloe kardashian odom. plus, music from lana del rey. robin thicke. plus, music from lana del rey. robin thicke. and miley cyrus. california? [sir here are dirs to santa cruz. where's the best bbq in kansas city? is there a rodeo in amarillo today? where are we? [siri] here's your current location. how big is the grand canyon? any gas stations we can walk to? [siri] i found 2 gas stations fairly close to you. what does orion look like? [siri] i found this for you. remind me to do this again. [siri] okay, i'll remind you. conquer your busy day. ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. we're back. still to come, tony bennett will be here. sunday night in indianapolis, our next guests used their very skilled hands, feet, and in one case, which you'll see in a moment, rear end, to make two of the biggest plays in the super bowl xlvi. that's the one i was talking about. from the super bowl champion new york giants, please welcome ahmad bradshaw and mario manningham. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] you don't have the rings yet, huh? >> no. >> jimmy: no? when do you get them? >> next month. >> jimmy: really? you think they would have those ready for you, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: is there going to be a ceremony when you get them? or do they just mail them to the
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house? >> we have a party. >> jimmy: have a party? have you been having parties since sunday night? >> they haven't stopped. >> jimmy: have you guys slept at all. >> no. no sleep. >> jimmy: you do look like you were dragged in here right now. tell me what goes on. the game ends. and you're in the locker room. you're whooping it up. and then, what happens? does everybody go somewhere all together? >> we have a family party at the hotel. >> jimmy: family party at the hotel. and only players and close friends and relatives are allowed to that party. how late does that go? >> about 4:00. >> jimmy: and do people get crazy at that thing? >> yeah. >> jimmy: who got the craziest at the party? [ laughter ] >> a couple guys, man. >> more than a couple. >> jimmy: more than a couple? all right. everybody goes nuts. and then, everybody goes your separate ways for a little while. and you go and do all of the media appearances and that sort of thing. do you ever get tired of seeing
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the plays replayed? >> we love it. >> jimmy: how many times do you think in your lives you will watch those clips? i would just watch them over and over and over again. >> pretty nice, man. >> jimmy: scoring a touchdown with your butt is wonderful. [ laughter and applause ] a wonderful thing to do. you know, tell us what happened there because antonio banderas was here. he wanted to know why that happened. why you kind of stopped right before the goal line. >> i was getting a handoff from eli. he was like, don't score. don't score. i grabbed the ball. and it didn't really click until the second yard line. 2 yard line. i went down. i tried to stop. but just carried me in. >> jimmy: he wanted you to stop so you could run some time -- when you're programmed to get into that end zone, somebody tells you, don't score. >> it was hard to stop. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. well, obviously. you didn't stop. was the parade fun? was that a -- >> that's the best.
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>> real fun. >> the best. >> jimmy: did people behave themselves along the route? >> i got hit with a couple of toilet paper rolls. >> jimmy: you did? >> me, too. throwing footballs. hats. everything. >> jimmy: when you made that catch, how -- i guess there's no way to explain it because it's just a gift that you have. but how do you know -- how do your feet know where they are and know to stay inbounds? because we have this here. this is just unbelievable to me. not just a catch. but the fact you were able to touch both feet inbounds. look at that. right there. [ applause ] remarkable. is that something that you focus on? you're able to program yourself to do? >> just sense of awareness. sense of awareness. knowing where you're at on the sideline. knowing that as soon as the ball hits your hands, you've really got to just pause. >> jimmy: did you hear what coach belichick said? did you see his -- let's take a look at that clip.
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>> make them go to manningham. make them go to pasco. >> jimmy: make them go to manningham. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] that was the tape you should have destroyed. now, when you're in the super bowl, do you miss all the commercials? you don't get to see those, right? >> my friends back home, i asked them, what kind of good commercials did they have this year? >> jimmy: you did? really? they catch you up on that stuff? >> a little bit. >> jimmy: you're a free agent, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i guess you're hoping to go back to the giants. >> i would go back. >> jimmy: would you play for the patriots if they signed you? >> uh -- >> jimmy: no? [ laughter ] >> yeah. i want to go back to the giants. you know? but if it's not there, then it's somewhere else. >> jimmy: after the game, tom brady's wife, gisele -- i would
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like to get a player's take on that. because she criticized his teammates, which i think is probably something most -- do you guys have special ladies in your lives? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and do they say things like that to you? no? >> no. [ laughter ] >> not like that. not like that. that was kind of tough. >> jimmy: definitely not on videotape. >> right. >> jimmy: do you instruct members of your family and people close to you not to say anything like that? >> at least out loud. i mean -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have not had any problems of that type. >> not at all. >> jimmy: do you feel bad about making tom brady cry? [ laughter ] >> better him than us. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and now, what will you guys do? what's the plan from here? are you going to go relax or what? >> oh, man. a lot of off-season money you can make, being champions. >> jimmy: uh-huh. oh, yeah. that's true. you can do car dealership
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commercials. >> right. >> jimmy: all kinds of crap. you know? [ laughter ] you'll be out in parking lots. [ laughter ] >> right. >> jimmy: so, you kind of will go back to work. you'll do that kind of stuff right now? >> just relax a little bit. >> jimmy: relax. >> with the family. and just enjoy this time off because it's going to come back so fast. >> jimmy: it is. will you guarantee you'll win the super bowl again next year? >> i hope so, man. >> jimmy: yeah. it's fun to win the super bowl, isn't it? >> a great feeling. >> jimmy: it has to be one of the more fun things to do in life. >> right. it is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, congratulations, guys. you played great. [ cheers and applause ] i'm glad for you. and by the way, i won some money thanks to you guys, too. thank you for that. [ cheers and applause ] there you go. mario manningham and ahmad bradshaw. we'll be right back with tony bennett. [ cheers and applause ] [ woman ] my resolution is to treat myself
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if you're going to be in the l.a. area, and want to see the show, call 866-jimmy-tix or go to get the new "jimmy kimmel live" app and see what you've been missing. search jimmy kimmel in the itunes app store. or go to to get it now. i love taxes. people say to me, "you're so lucky. after tax season, you get to relax." we're not here for a couple of months. we're here year-round.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, this is a real treat. our next guest has one of the greatest voices in the history of voices. his latest cd, "duets 2," debuted at number one on the billboard album chart and is nominated for three grammy awards. singing the classic, "the lady is a tramp," all by himself, please welcome tony bennett. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ she gets too hungry for dinner at 8:00 ♪ ♪ she loves the theater never comes late ♪ ♪ she never bothers with people she hates ♪ ♪ that's why the lady is a tramp ♪ ♪ she don't like crap games with barons and earls ♪
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♪ won't dish the dirt with the rest of the girls ♪ ♪ she never bothers with people she hates ♪ ♪ that's why the lady is a tramp ♪ ♪ she likes the free fresh wind in her hair ♪ ♪ life without care she's broke, it's oke ♪ ♪ hates california it's cold and it's damp ♪ ♪ that's why the lady is a tramp ♪ >> take it! ♪ ♪ she likes the free fresh wind in her hair ♪ ♪ life without care she's broke, it's oke ♪
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♪ hates california it's cold and it's damp ♪ ♪ that's why the lady is a tramp ♪ ♪ that's why the lady is a tramp ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was great. we'll be right back to chat with tony bennett.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, hello there. and we're back with the great tony bennett. wow. that was -- it's so great to have you here. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: the band is terrific. it's a real thrill. congratlakeses on this album. i think this is unbelievable that at 85 years old, you scored your first number one album. [ cheers and applause ] i can only imagine what you're going to do when you hit 90 or 95. >> i'm going to keep going. >> jimmy: why not, right? >> i'm very fortunate. i have my health. and i love what i do. you know, it's not work to me at all. i just love it. >> jimmy: you have three grammy nominations. you like 15 grammys, right? >> 15, yeah. >> jimmy: that's too many, i think. that's a lot. [ cheers and applause ] at a certain point, it becomes clutter. >> but you know -- thank you.
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being 85 is very interesting because i was on the very first grammys. >> jimmy: the first grammy show, wow. >> you see it go every season. it gets bigger and bigger every year. it's really a wild experience to watch it. >> jimmy: i would think so. and i would -- where do you even keep these grammys? your house must look like the factory where they manufacture them. [ laughter ] >> my son is a wonderful guy. he's my manager. in his office, he has all of the emmys and grammys. >> jimmy: wow. >> behind his desk. >> jimmy: that's nice. yeah, that's nice he has them up. it looks bad if you put them all up, right? >> not really. it's all right. >> jimmy: you start gluing them to the hood of your car. [ laughter ] on the cd, you sing "the lady is a tramp," with lady gaga. >> right. >> jimmy: did you know lady gaga beforehand? had you met her? >> we did one concert in america, in new york city, for the poor people of manhattan. and she is so phenomenal.
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i wouldn i couldn't believe it. at the end of the night, we raised $50 million in one night. >> jimmy: wow. the poor people are now rich. [ laughter ] the poor people are now building their own condominium complex next to donald trump. >> why not? >> jimmy: you must have hit it off with her. you drew this drawing of lady gaga. >> i did a sketch. annie leibovitz was the photographer for "vanity fair." and she had me sketching lady gaga. it was on a double page in "vanity fair." >> jimmy: whose idea was it for lady gaga to take off her clothes for this sketch? >> annie leibovitz. >> jimmy: annie said she would like you to -- this sold for a lot of money. to charity, right? like $30,000 or something. >> yes, it did. >> jimmy: unbelievable.
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this year marks the 50th anniversary of "i left my heart in san francisco." we have an original copy of it here. [ cheers and applause ] this song, "i left my heart in san francisco," i know a little bit about that. you didn't think it was going to be a hit. >> no. we always thought it was going to be a local hit in the san francisco area. >> jimmy: right. >> but it became an international song. >> jimmy: it was a b-side for another single, right? >> well, yeah. the other side was "once upon a time," which is a beautiful song from a show that ray broeser did on stage called "america." and i said, wait a minute. turn it around. you have no idea what's going on. i said, what do you mean? the other side. >> jimmy: and you flipped it over and history was made. and i understand you're going to be doing this song in the place where you first performed this song. >> yeah. the fairmont hotel in san francisco next week.
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>> jimmy: that's a special thing to be a part of. [ cheers and applause ] do you know of or do you think -- will there be anyone besides you, obviously, there who was there that night 50 years ago? >> i don't think so. i think they're all gone. >> jimmy: wow. wow. well, you're going to have to carry the torch for them, i guess. have you ever done any acting? have you done anything like that? >> i did. but i like performing live. i really love it. this is what i like to do. you know, i think -- i'm a firm believer that if you do something, you have to have a passion to do it. you shouldn't do it if you don't like it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i think that pertains to everybody. >> jimmy: you spend a lot of time doing artwork and drawing and sculpting. >> i sing and paint. >> jimmy: you're lucky to do that. most people don't like their jobs and don't get to do what they want to do. >> i know. but they should. >> jimmy: they should. but what are you going to do?
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i can't come into work today, tony bennett told me to paint. [ laughter ] [ applause ] before you were a friend of frank sinatra's, you were a fan of frank sinatra's, right? >> oh, yeah. he was ten years older than i was. >> jimmy: had you seen frank live before you were tony bennett, the famous singer? >> no. it wasn't until after, i was given a television replacement for the perry como show, the summer show. and i was so nervous. they left me with a vast stage without any big names as guest artists. and i was so nervous. and i said, i'm going to go meet him. i was a tremendous fan of his. he had me come up to his dressing room. and he said, what is it, son? i said, i just have a problem. he said, what is it? well, i'm


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