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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 25, 2013 11:35pm-12:36am PDT

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"jimmy kimmel live." tonight, kevin nealon, michael b. jordan, music from karmin, and special guest todd rundgren with cleto and the cletones. and now if you don't mind. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome. welcome. thank you for watching. the fact that we'll all probably die alone -- i appreciate it.
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we have some good stuff planned for you tonight. kevin nealon, michael b. jordan, the b does not stand for basketball. the band karmin will be outside. and the incredible todd rundgren will be outside. and todd rundgren, he has a new album and a new shirt, also, it seems like. well, thank you for coming. it is great to have you here. you know, there is some big news in the world of daytime television today. this morning, elizabeth hasselbeck announced effectively she is leaving "the view." she signed with the houston rockets. actually, she is leaving to join the show "fox and friends." on fox news. she talked about her exit, maybe in contrast to the talk that the hosts don't get along. she shared an emotional good-bye with barbara and the rest of the gang. >> i think the person to sit in
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this chair, i will not be the last person to sit in this chair, the past ten years have been nothing. [ laughter ] >> and so we'll be right back of course, with hot topics. >> jimmy: you know what? maybe it wasn't emotional but she did say good-bye to the women on the view. she has been there for ten years now, she was a contestant on survivor, and abc hired her from that. she ate a grub bug. and america fell in love. she has been on thousands of shows, and tonight we look at some of her finest moments as we say good-bye to our colleague and our tv friend, liz. >> i asked you a question. >> you asked me a question. >> you wouldn't even answer your own question. >> wait, wait, wait. >> we're talking about two different things. >> no, no, no, no, no, no, no. >> this is a criminal -- >> be treated -- >> i'm trying to get to the bottom --
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>> who need a home, that is a complete bigoted statement to say that -- it is bigoted, no, no. >> thank you. >> jimmy: well, you know -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the good news is, on fox news, nobody will disagree with her at all. not only did elizabeth leave "the view," joe behar is leaving, if you want to watch women fighting, you are stuck with the real housewives. and hollywood boulevard is teaming for visitors to have fun. this game is called "you catch it, you keep it." guillermo is on the roof. hello, guillermo. >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: what are you wearing,
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a parachute? >> no, it is a harness. a parachute -- here is how the game works, if they catch the item he drops they get to keep it. that is how we got the name. all right, let's go down to my cousin, sal, who is positioned on hollywood boulevard. [ cheers and applause ] >> i have this one right here. >> jimmy: hello, what is your name? >> my name is april. >> from farmersville, california, in between bakersville and fresno. >> jimmy: oh, that is the best part of the state. are you ready to catch a fabulous prize? >> i am. let's go. >> jimmy: all right, put the helmet on, guillermo is four stories up. hi, guillermo. >> i'm very high. oh, yeah, i see that >> jimmy: now, are you ready? do you have an item? >> i'm ready, i'll get it.
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>> jimmy: okay, and are we ready on the ground? >> i am. >> jimmy: all right, let's play "you catch it, you keep it." [ cheers and applause ] all right, guillermo, you're not -- you're not the one that gets it. you're supposed to -- when did we get that? like an hour ago? all right, so that is -- what flavor is that, guillermo? >> chocolate, vanilla, and that is it. >> jimmy: all right, it looks pink to me, are you sure? >> oh, and strawberry. >> jimmy: and strawberry, you forget the strawberry, huh? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right, let's make sure the contestant can hear what she is about to catch or attempt to catch. are you ready, guillermo?
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>> yes, jimmy. guillermo okay, are you ready down on the ground? and release the fries. there you go, it is a good toss. we are going to have to mark that an error. ìáhp &hc& thank you. >> jimmy: all right -- >> hold on, the sprinkles are coming. >> jimmy: no, the sprinkles are not coming, well, it was a nice try but you didn't catch it. we'll come back to you in a minute. >> all right, very good. cousin sal and guillermo are throwing ice cream on the people. you know we have writers on the show. justin bieber is doing weird things again. tmz shows him in the kitchen of a restaurant in new york peeing into a mop bucket, like a janitor's -- well, here it is. all right -- so -- that is justin talking. and there he is, peeing, too. when you're justin bieber, the world is your toilet. by the way, what i like about this video his pants are exactly the same as they are pulled down or pulled up. there is no difference.
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by the way, the weirdest part of the video is this guy right there standing on the stairs. watching him. either a very diligent bodyguard or a very obvious pervert, i'm not sure. all right, keep going. >> you're not going to remember him -- >> what are we? >> we are [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: you know what? canada? it is time to pick him up. we have had enough. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know if it is just justin bieber or our own little king joffrey we have to deal with here. all right, let's go outside to have our next contestant. play another round of "you catch
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it, you keep it." >> he is very excited, this guy. >> jimmy: what is your name? >> jonathan. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> clarksville, tennessee. >> jimmy: all right, and what do you do there? >> i'm a walmart associate, sir. >> jimmy: okay, have you played any baseball? >> no, sir. >> jimmy: you have not? all right, well, strap on the face mask, we want to make sure you're protected and we're going to go back up on the roof. guillermo? >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: now what is that? >> it is a beach ball. >> jimmy: why is it flat? >> oh, because it has money. it has a 100 dollars inside. >> jimmy: oh, but why is it flat? >> oh, i don't know. >> jimmy: okay, blow that thing up a little bit, will you? >> oh, blow it? >> jimmy: yeah, you know how they do. no worse ball for the beach than one of these, ironically, all right, okay, we were going to fill it with quarters but it killed somebody at rehearsal today.
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okay, are you ready down on the ground? >> yes, sir, we're ready, yes, sir. >> jimmy: all right, jonathan, are you ready? >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: all right, here we go, two, three, one and drop it. wow, that came down quickly. that is a shame. let's look at the instant replay here, oh, wow. all right, well, we're still looking for a winner. thank you, jonathan. here is a weird story, this guy, a scientist, eugene mccarthy, he is not a kook. one of the world's leading scientists, he said he believes that the human species was probably created when pigs mated with chimps. and that is how we got jersey shore. [ cheers and applause ] i know, we've seen intense similarities in the dna of
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chimps and pigs and humans. and in his opinion, there is a good chance, a probability that adam and eve may have been a pig and a chimp. it turns out george was even more curious than we thought. and inter-species can mate, a lion and a tiger mate, it is called a liger, and a pig and a chimp would make pimps, i guess. it makes you think of all the accomplishments from humanity, the pyramids, the moon landings, tevo, all of that may have happened because one night a pig and a chimp got a little drunk and went for it. scientists say they believe this union would have paired a male boar, which if you can imagine that, and the offspring would have been raised by the chimp mother, if you can imagine that. today he held a conference to explain it in laymen's terms as best as he could. >> the male direction of the
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cross was likely with the female chimp. >> can you explain in detail the actually hiberization event? >> of course this is pure speculation, i think it is likely that the male pig was like, i have been watching you for sometime and i think you are something with your hairy thumb. and the chimp was like, i love the way you run around in your own feces. that really turns me on. >> i want you so bad. >> but what do we tell our families? >> they don't need to know. this is so wrong but so right. where are you going? you're going to miss where the baby pig comes out. >> jimmy: turns out men really are pigs, there is scientific evidence. we'll be right back, we'll have more drops off the roof. but kevin nealon, michael b. jordan, and music from karmin on
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the way, plus todd rundgren is here. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ late last night, i was feeling something wasn't right. and not another soul in sight ♪ only you, only you ♪ ♪ so we walked. ♪ [ woman ] destination assist. this is ann. where would you like to go tonight? ♪ [ male announcer ] it's a golden opportunity to see how lexus effortlessly connects you to where you're going. ♪ come to the golden opportunity sales event and experience the connectivity of lexus enform, available on all lexus models, including the es and rx. ♪ this is the pursuit of perfection.
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♪ [ gasps ] a little more to the left. we're trying our best, sir. maybe the round one. ♪ [ crunch ] you're not very good at this are you? fire all four. are you serious? i'm waiting. make it rain. ♪ bullseye. four flavors. four shapes. new cheetos mix ups.
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four flavors. four shapes. sitting in with the band tonight. kevin nealon, and karmin are back stage telling stories, ryan seacrest may be picking up his
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48th job, he reportedly signed a deal that would make him the game show host. it happens 24 hours a day for 12 days straight. and ryan will host it on nbc while he continues to host american idol on fox. years from now i predict that we will find out that ryan seacrest could only breathe if he was speaking into a microphone. hey, let's take time to learn something, find out what our country's greatest minds are up to. it's time for this is "this week in science". >> a new study suggests that instead of eating those fatty comfort foods, simply drawing it on a piece of paper will bring you comfort and put you in a better mood. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a new study suggested how could it be wrong. all right, let's go back outside to play "you catch it, you keep it." cousin sal is on the ground.
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hi, what is your name? >> marianna. all right, marianna, you will not be able to catch this. >> you don't know that. >> jimmy: do you play any baseball? >> i used to play softball. >> jimmy: you did play softball? that is great. we do have hope for you, and where are you from? >> san francisco. >> jimmy: all right, you're prepared for this? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay, put your face mask on, we're going to go back up to the roof. guillermo, what do you have there? >> i have a noodle there with expensive watches -- >> jimmy: a pool noodle with xd expensive watches, how expensive are those watches. what are we talking about there, guillermo? >> i think there may be one rolex -- >> jimmy: no, i don't think there is a rolex on there, maybe a timex, but not a rolex. all right, you have to be careful with that thing, it looks like it may fly down into the street.
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and let's go down to the ground and see if they're ready. are you ready? >> yes. >> jimmy: all right, on the count of three, two, one. and here it comes. oh, no! oh, so close, so very close, there it is again, in slow motion. all right, we got to do one more, we have to try one more. guillermo, what do you have up there? >> well, i have a cooler with hot dogs. >> jimmy: all right, that is good. all right, let's go back down and meet our contestant. what is your name? >> amir mustafa. >> jimmy: what is your name? >> amir mustafa. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> tampa, florida. >> jimmy: what do you do? >> mixed martial arts. >> oh, you do? >> make fun of his name again. >> jimmy: i apologize in advance. all right, good, you're a mixed martial artist, you should be able to handle this, hey, amir,
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do you eat pork? >> no, i don't. >> jimmy: oh, great. well, don't worry, these are all beef, then, that are coming down. all right, let's go back on the roof. guillermo, you may have to run after you drop this one, all right? right. by the way, your throwing has been excellent so far. >> oh, great. >> jimmy: are we ready down on the street? >> let's do it. >> jimmy: all right, he is ready, two, three, one, and drop it. oh, yes! you know what? i have to say technically i think we can call that a catch! nicely done. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go, thank you, amir. we have a good show tonight. kevin nealon is here, and michael b. jordan is here, and music from todd rundgren.
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and karmin. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hello, it's me, i thought about it for a long, long time ♪ maybe i think too much but something is wrong. there is something here doesn't last too long ♪
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>> jimmy: that is the great todd rundgren sitting in with the cletones tonight.ñr he is on a world tour, and with his new album "state." thank you, todd, it is great to have you here. [ cheers and applause ] and tonight on the program, you know him from "the wire." and starting friday you can see him in fruitvale station. michael b. jordan is here, and karmin from the sony outdoor stage. tomorrow night, we have two jeff's for you, jeff bridges, from bravo, jeff lewis. we'll have music from capital cities. our first guest is a personal
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friend of the show, not of mine. you know him from "weeds" and can see him at the funny bone, or see him on his new dvd called "whelmed, but not overly." please welcome kevin nealon. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you know todd rundgren? >> yes, i love todd rundgren. >> jimmy: you know each other personally? >> yes -- we go way back, we were in garage bands together. >> jimmy: i didn't know i would be in the middle of a reunion here. is that right? >> no. >> jimmy: you just got back from africa? >> yes, i just did a film with adam sandler in africa -- >> jimmy: adam doing a film in africa? >> yeah, you ever been to africa. >> jimmy: i have been, yeah. >> how about south africa?
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how about north? east? >> jimmy: yeah? >> it is an amazing country, you are kind of jet lagged, the first couple of days for me, we went on a tour ride, the first animal he brought next to me was a lion and a lioness, so that snaps you out of your jet lag. right away. >> jimmy: you brought pictures, should we go through them? >> all right. >> jimmy: actually, i'll hold them up for you. >> all right, there are lions everywhere, jim -- jim or jimmy? >> jimmy: either one is fine. but, yeah. >> it says, please stay in your vehicle, you may encounter free-roaming lions, and they give you an option, exit right there. before that, everybody said how do we get out of here? and the elephant, a beautiful creature, this is a statue in front of our hotel, beautiful creature. >> jimmy: speaking of beautiful creatures -- >> see, now, this is in front of nelson mandela's cell. at cape town.
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>> jimmy: oh, really? >> at first, my wife was taking the picture and i thought i was -- i was about to smile, i shouldn't be smiling in front of his cell. you don't want to be like -- yeah. so it was more like this -- >> jimmy: so that is your respectful look and your son -- >> he is 6 years old, he doesn't know who nelson mandela is or who i am. he lost his first tooth on that trip, so that is a memorable one >> jimmy: oh, he did? >> yeah, it was loose for a while, i wasn't sure if the tooth was stationary and the tooth was loose or his head was loose. >> jimmy: i never thought of it that way, but you're right. >> okay, what happened, this is driving school. they have little townships, i call them shanty towns.
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i lost my cell phone, in a theater, i think the usher took it. so i located it on the icloud, i saw it was a very bad neighborhood, but i tracked it. apparently he got caught texting on the phone while driving and he had to go to driving school. >> jimmy: remarkable, were you able to apprehend him? >> this is the b & b, a little charming b & b -- >> jimmy: just a "b" maybe, the family really goes all out with accommodations. >> yeah, he does. >> jimmy: okay, this is? >> okay, this is another sign, warning, please look under your vehicle for penguins. if you go to cape town, there is a lot of penguins, there is a lot of road kill in the parking lot? >> jimmy: there is? >> yeah, these signs should be everywhere, because even in l.a. they used to get under the car. and now they're all gone.
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i don't believe there are penguins, i think it is just a tourist trap. >> talking about signs, this is a restaurant, tequila, beer, chili, boobs -- >> jimmy: i have never seen chili boobss, have you? >> okay, this is just a sign i saw in the johannesburg airport, i thought it was kind of funny. that is a lovely item, a good cake topper. this is another sign talking about the monkeys. because if you don't close your doors in the hotel, the monkeys will come in and take your kids. >> jimmy: did they come in? >> no, i was terrified. also you have to put a do not disturb sign because the housekeepers will come in while you're sleeping. >> jimmy: they do, why? >> because that is their job, that is what they're paid to do. >> jimmy: this is, uh --
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>> so the guy also got another ticket and had to go to another driving school. that was a completely different driving school, i was not letting this guy go, by the way. >> jimmy: oh, this is a good one. >> now, what happened here, jimmy, my son wanted to take pictures of animals because i just like taking pictures of signs. i gave it to him. and he went out and took pictures and you know how kids are. >> jimmy: yeah. looks like this one may have sprung a leak? >> yeah, that one is actually leaking -- >> jimmy: and this is -- >> yeah, another one he took. >> jimmy: i have never seen a five-legged elephant, have you? those are very rare, aren't they? >> yeah, you know kids, kids will be kids. >> jimmy: what is going on there? i mean, how does that work? >> well, he takes the trunk and eats what he wants -- >> jimmy: no, no, no. kevin nealon, we'll be right back with kevin nealon. [ cheers and applause ]
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back. todd rundgren is here, kevin nealon is here, and michael b. jordan and karmin. and later this summer you're going on tour with dana carvey. and dennis miller, your former
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saturday night live cast mates? >> that is right, i think it was about a 30 city tour, and then we decided to go back and do a couple of dates this summer. >> jimmy: is this the first time you performed since then? >> since then, yeah. >> jimmy: how will it differ from that original tour? >> that is a good question, jimmy, you well, you know from the first tour we had a lot of perks. like i remember we worked in denver, colorado, once, and john travolta came, because we had a mutual friend. and he offered us all a ride back on his jet to l.a. and dana and dennis were not good fliers at the time, so they didn't want to go with him, they wanted to go fly commercial. and i thought hey, man, you don't turn down the opportunity to get on a jet with john, and he is flying the jet, he is a pilot. and we get over the rockies. and all of a sudden the plane is -- bumping all over the place, and i'm thinking what have i done?
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why can't i be with dana and dennis on the commercial airlines? and i am thinking, what am i doing, vince barbarino is up there. and then later he comes back, and says sorry about the bad air up there, it gets a little rough up there. >> jimmy: i don't believe that dennis and dana didn't want to be flown by john travolta, and i don't blame them, not that i would turn a ride down by john travolta -- >> i would rather fly with him than -- >> jimmy: than who? >> than you. >> jimmy: well, that is a good decision. >> well, he was a pilot. >> jimmy: so will you be doing any new material? >> no, it is all the same from 1987. i golfed once with the managers with one of the bands, you know, back from journey, or something
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like that, and i said are these guys going to write new songs? he said we don't encourage it. todd, am i right? >> are you ever wrong? >> jimmy: when you started out, were you confident? were you nervous? >> well, you know, you're always nervous at first. then you become confident. i was so confident i remember once bringing a heckler to my own show. what happened, i worked in dallas, my roommate calls and says can she come to your show? so i drive by, pick her up, she was very nice, i drove her to the club. she goes in, the opening act is going on, she is drinking and drinking and drinking, by the time i get on she is totally hammered. and she is heckling me. just a drunk heckler, you know, distracting everybody. and then i get off the stage, and i'm in the lobby talking to a friend. and the manager comes in and says you got to take your friend out, she is passed out on the table. so i had to like pick her up and
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carry her own my shoulder. i didn't even know her, she was heckling me all night. i had to put her in the car, drive her back to the car, bring her into the house and put her on the couch. and i was going to leave, and i thought what if she throws up and drowns in her puke? you know? so i had to sit there until her roommate came home and just watch her. the person who heckled me and ruined my whole night. you know? >> jimmy: the heart of a comedian, the heart of gold. >> you're absolutely correct, jimmy. that is a heart of gold. >> jimmy: kevin nealon has a dvd -- looks like a cd to me. >> it is actually an lp. yeah, we had to cut it down a little bit. >> jimmy: there it is, it is called "whelmed, but not overly." you can see kevin at the funny bone in virginia beach, virginia. july 12th. thanks to you, and we'll be right back with michael b. jordan. not the basketball player, he is a different guy. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ ♪
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>> hi, i'm jimmy kimmel live to talk about a disturbing trend, celebrities are giving their babies disturbing names, like fruit. guillermo would you care to share some of the particularly memorable and unfortunate names you have gathered? >> yes. >> jimmy:. north, apple, rocket. apple, pilot, banjo. need i say more? >> jimmy: yes, you need to say more. >> miloh, or angelo.
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irkel. >> jimmy: that is good. >> umbrella. >> lafanta. and buckwheat. >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. now, you say thank you to me. >> you're welcome, thank you, jimmy. >> share your unfortunate on twitter, #unfortunatename.
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get up -- and go. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: todd rundgren is sitting in with the cletones, and karmin is still to come, our next guest is one tiny initial away from being the greatest basketball player who ever lived. you know him from "the wire." his new movie is called fruitvale. please welcome michael b. jordan. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: what happened? >> oh, dude, i was going back to the hotel room with my girlfriend, she was not really used to walking in the heels, she fell, took me down, i tried to be a good guy. i braced the fall. >> jimmy: see, you have been punished for it. >> the funniest story was me, my manager and my hand surgeon trying to come up with a story, we were trying to come up with a story, i said i'm on the jimmy kimmel live show, what should we come up with? >> jimmy: you punched hitler in the face. wait, hitler is dead, i know, that is how much i hate him. i pounded him. now, i want to ask you about your name, is it a problem having a name like michael jordan? >> a little bit, it gets in the way a little bit. >> jimmy: what are the bad things about it?
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>> ordering pizza. >> jimmy: oh really? >> calling for a pizza? it is the most disrespectful thing, you got to call back and get him to -- no, no, i actually went down there one time and slammed my id on the counter. he was like you know what? i'm sorry i insulted you. he gave me two free pizzas. >> jimmy: it worked out. but it is not like he said kareem abdul-jabbar -- and your dad's name is michael jordan. >> i'm named after my father. >> jimmy: you're named after your father, what year were you born? >> '87. >> jimmy: oh, you're in the middle of it? >> '87, jordan was running rampant in the league. >> jimmy: you're dad probably had something to do with that. saying i'm naming my son, michael jordan. >> he didn't really realize what he was putting me through. the first 26 years of my life. he is michael a. jordan, i'm
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michael b. jordan. >> jimmy: of course, there has to be a michael c. jordan. >> i can't do that to him, no. >> jimmy: eventually it will fade, well, with him, maybe it won't fade. do you ever go into a foot locker and say i would like a pair of "air me". >> that is really bad, i am actually going to a dominican republic for a friend of mine's wedding. and i was flying standby at the time. and the lady at the kiosk, she couldn't speak english really well, and she was like michael jordan, is that your father? yes, it is my dad. she actually bought me first class both ways. so i was like, nice. [ cheers and applause ] i felt bad, i did, i did, i felt bad for about two seconds until i sat down in that first class seat. >> jimmy: and you felt a lot better.
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and when you were a kid you were acting, how old were you when you started acting? >> about 12 years old. >> jimmy: you did a show with bill cosby, not the cosby show, but in brooklyn, cosby was in queens. who did you play on the show? >> this kid named michael jordan. >> jimmy: you have been preparing for it your whole life. >> my whole life. >> it was like a small role, i had maybe four or five lines. i had a kid in the classroom, and he was giving every student something to do. like one kid was making paper planes, one chewing gum. mine was like, he said, you know what, michael, i want you to brush your hair through the entire episode. even if you're saying your lines, i wanted to get waves, i keep brushing my head, get waves, keep going to school. be cool, all right, i can do that. so we taped two segments, one in the morning, one in the afternoon.
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so all during rehearsal, i'm brushing my hair, brushing my hair, not realizing by the first segment my scalp was going to be completely raw. i mean, literally, it was so sore. so i stopped brushing my hair half way during the first segment, and i remember during the break he said i asked you to do something, michael. i said i know. he said what did i ask you to do? i said brush my hair, he was like what didn't you do? i stopped brushing my hair, so literally, i was brushing my hair furiously -- during the second segment. i didn't care if there was blood running down, i was going to -- >> jimmy: if you had just rubbed jello on it, it would have been fine. you guys missed an opportunity. this movie of yours is great, apparently, i have not seen it. but you won the grand jury award at sun dance, wow! >> yeah, man, it is -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: not just the regular jury, the grand jury. >> i got both of them. >> jimmy: and sometimes you could get an oscar nomination out of something like that. >> that has happened before.
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you trying to jinx me on tv? >> jimmy: no, but i tell you what, if you do, if you should happen to win you should just stroll out there brushing your hair the whole time. or brush oscar's bald head. it is a serious movie. it is a real story. >> yeah, it is about this kid named oscar grant. he was fatally murdered in oakland by the bart transit police, face down, shot in the back. they caught it on the cell phone footage. and it hit the internet and youtube and kind of blew up from there. and the cop actually -- he was sentenced to two years for involuntary manslaughter, only ended up serving a month, it -- so i actually played oscar grant. the -- it took place the last part of his life.
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little bit of humanity back, because when a person loses his life, by an officer, he gets polarized. i think it is unfair for a person to get judged for a small part of his life. so we really wanted to give a little humanity back. so that is kind of what happened. it affected a lot of people. >> jimmy: well, congratulations, thank you, michael b. jordan. we'll be right back.
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>> jimmy: all right, here with their new single, called "acapella." karmin. ♪ used to be your baby used to be your lady thought you were the perfect lover ♪ ♪ all the harmony went fallin' out of key, so now you gotta find another now you're talkin' crazy ♪ ♪ sayin' that you made me like i was your cinderella you and me are through though watch me hit it solo ♪ ♪ i'mma do it acapella, yeah i'mma do it acapella, yeah once upon a time i met the perfect guy ♪
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♪ he had that colgate smile he had that suit and tie mama always said get a rich boyfriend ♪ ♪ you don't gotta love 'em girl, you can pretend you bet i totes believed her yeah, every word she said ♪ ♪ thought he was gluten-free but all that i got was bread mama always said nice guys finish last ♪ ♪ beat him at his own game honey, take the cash ooh, and what a lucky girl you will be ♪ ♪ but no he didn't do jack for me i want a bean with the beanstalk ♪ ♪ and if the magic ain't right, time to walk used to be your baby used to be your lady ♪ ♪ thought you were the perfect lover all the harmony went fallin' out of key, so ♪ ♪ now you gotta find another now you're talkin' crazy sayin' that you made me like i was your cinderella ♪ ♪ you and me are through though watch me hit it solo i'mma do it acapella, yeah ♪ ♪ whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh i'mma do it acapella, yeah out on our first date ♪
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♪ he took me gourmet we hit that olive garden my little italy ♪ ♪ daddy always said let the gentleman pay never ever go dutch at the buffet ♪ ♪ i saw his bad intention he didn't wanna talk he put the saucy on it, oops time to check my watch ♪ ♪ daddy always said money can't buy class you don't wanna get stuck takin' out trash ♪ ♪ ooh, and yeah i guess it wasn't meant to be but no he didn't do jack for me ♪ ♪ i want a bean with the beanstalk and if the magic ain't right time to walk ♪ ♪ used to be your baby used to be your lady thought you were the perfect lover ♪ ♪ all the harmony went fallin' out of key, so now you gotta find another now you're talkin' crazy ♪ ♪ sayin' that you made me like i was your cinderella you and me are through though ♪ ♪ watch me hit it solo i'mma do it acapella whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

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