tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC December 26, 2013 11:35pm-12:36am PST
>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, carey mulligan from "scandal", scott foley. this week in unnecessary censorship. and music from jeff campbell. with cleto and the cletones. and now, while i'm at it, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ jimmy kimmel live >> jimmy: welcome. thank you for coming. that's very nice.
i appreciate it. you wouldn't know it from walking around here. christmas is less than two weeks away. are you in the holiday spirit. i hope you are. yes. i know that team at fox news is full of it. the folks at fox news have been concerned about the war on christmas. christmas is under attack by liberals. as a result you barely see any one celebrating it any more. as if it doesn't exist this year. last night on our show, the kelly file, megan kelly assembled a panel to discuss santa claus's race. there is an essay on slate that argues because america is a melting pot. santa shouldn't be a white man anymore. the writer suggested that from
now on, santa should be a penguin, for real. makes no sense. don't know how she would expect a penguin to carry toys. still for whatever reason this stood out to megan kelly as a topping for debate. >> in slate they have a piece on dot com, santa claus should not be a white man anymore. i saw the headline. i laughed. this is ridiculous. yet another person claiming it is racist to have a white santa. by the way for all you kids watching at home, santa just is white. >> right. all fictional people are white. it'sen the bible. santa just is white. white christmas. white chris. by the way what kids are watching fox news at home. weird kids are those. fortunately they had a whole group of experts on to weigh in on the important subject. you might find this surprising one of monica's panelists, agreed with her completely. >> you are absolutely right. santa claus is based on st.
nicholas, an actual person, greek bishop and was a white man. you can't take facts and then tripe to change them to fit a political agenda or sensitivity agenda. >> jimmy: you can't. i thought that was the fox news business model? in fact, fox news is doing something interesting this year. over the holidays airing classic christmas movie, it is a wonderful life. a lot of networks do. the difference the way they're promoting it. this christmas, rediscover the heart warming story of the sleepy, economically backwards town of bedfords falls. >> nobody ever changes here, you know that. >> one extraordinary citizen. henry potter. >> i may lose a fortune but i am willing to guarantee your people too. >> this capitalist had a dream. to transform bedford falls into a modern entertainment and business mecca. creating hundreds of new jobs. but one man would stand in his way. >> remember me, george bailey. >> draft dodger george bailey
and his social ois building and loan. we have to have faith. will henry potter's reforms win the day. >> what does that get us a discontented lazy rabble instead of a working class. >> or will george bailey succeed with his scheme to redistribute wealth. >> they had to wait, save their money before they thought of a decent home. wait for what? >> how far will bailey go to destroy free markets and economic progress. how low will he sin snk. >> where is that money you silly, stupid old fool. >> this christmas enjoy a classic as the it was meant to beef understood. fox news presents, mr. potter and the commies of bedford falls. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: another highly an tis patrioted film this season, the hob bit, the desolation of smog, hits theaters tonight. this is part two of the trilogy.
part two is the best part. who doesn't love to speech the middle of something, you know. the first hobbit made more than $1 billion. this was nice decided to make it free. it is called giving back. i will be honest. if i want to watch a harry creature run around for three hours, i will take guillermo to gymboree. right, guillermo. >> guillermo: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] nomination for golden globe award were announced this morning. golden globes aren't quite as prestigious as the oscars. it is an opportunity for celebrities to hand each other shiny things so. we go with it. leading the pack were movies, 12 years, and american hustle. each one, seven nominations. american hustle was nominated in best musical or comedy category, her, and nebraska, the wolf of wall street. none of which are musicals or comedies. why get bogged down in details. as always there were
disappointments. for instance, matt damon was nominated. another pity nomination for playing himselfen that liberace movie. congratulations to him. [ applause ] this is funny. ever fry to walk up an escalator while it is going down to see if you can make it. everyone has the. this guy took the concept to a higher level. i think he was selling his snowmobile. i don't know if heave was showing off. or showing what it could do or screwing around. whatever the case, he decided to use his snowmobile to ski uphill. >> sweet. >> he's go out. >> ya-hoo. >> he's got it. nice. oh, no! >> what did i tell you? [ bleep ]. >> no!
it's not for sale now! >> jimmy: too far away to help. but just close enough to laugh. new ranking of america's health was released yesterday. annual list that ranks states based on how healthy they are. the healthiest u.s. state is hawaii. this year. and least healthy state is wherever honey boo-boo lives. i don't know where that its. mississippi finished 50th out of 50 states. which isn't surprising. healthy eating is not big in mississippi. their state bird is the fried chicken. hawaii finished second in 2012, but it rose to the top spot this year after lowering smoking rates and obesity. you wouldn't think the state that makes floral print shirts for fat people would be the healthiest. but, lo and behold they are. in other findings of note, researchers from university of adelade, australia, are about to release a book.
argues humans are not smarter than other animals. they claim that some animals might have superior cognitive faculties. in a way it makes sense. dogs, i know for a fact. dogs are smarter because never once has a dog picked up human poop. eating it maybe, yeah, but never picked it up. does anyone real believe that animals are smarter than, i mean, if they're so smart, how come a pig has never won wheel of fortune. if they're so smart, how do they let things like -- this happen. that's not -- that's not -- adorable, yeah, but not smart. earlier today, instagram, photo/video sharing app, debuted instagram direct, which sound like a marijuana delivery service. it is not. a feature that allows users to send text and photo messages to each other directly. just like e-mail, except nothing. it is e-mail. they have a great idea for a website you can auction stuff off. they're claiming instagram will revolutionize the way men send photos of their private parts. ha-ha.
someone identified with that statement. in college basketball, ohio state won a mismatch with the bulldogs, beat them 86-48. the buckeye center had a lot to do with it. a reporter from big ten network asked him about the recent improvements on the court and amere gave credit to extra attention he has been getting from his coach. >> amir, a dominating performance, not only by the buckeyes, but by yourself inside. your progression over the last four, five games, what can you attribute that to? >> coach, he has been on my back every day.
>> jimmy: that's what they call personal training. all right, it's thursday night, time for our weekly tribute to the fcc we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. this week in unnecessary censorship. >> we are in arlington virginia, just enough snow to cover the grass before [ bleep ] rain and drizzle started to fall. >> and we are [ bleep ] soaking wet and [ bleep ] and endorphines going. back to you in the warm studio. i want to see you on [ bleep ] again. >> the president was [ bleep ] a couple months ago. >> of 173 have signed on from the congress to tell the president, [ bleep ] off on this one. >> [ bleep ] animals, and that's my gosh, i am just, i am shocked. >> look at my [ bleep ]. ha-ha. >> of ♪ ♪ ♪ what i know >> well for far too long here in washington, d.c. [ bleep ] has
been considered a dirty word. >> name an occupation a woman may have where she would write off a [ bleep ] job as a business expense? >> stripper. >> stripper. >> rudolph with your nose so bright won't you [ bleep ] my [ bleep ] tonight? >> it would be an honor, sir. ho-ho-ho. ho-ho-ho. >> jimmy: we'll take a break. when we come back -- i am going to assist santa by hooking a child to a lie detector to find out if she has been naughty or nice. yes, i am. >> jimmy: we've also got carey mulligan, scott foley, and music from jeff campbell. so don't move a muscle. [ cheers and applause ] [ male announcer ] every inch. every minute. every second -- we chip away. making the colors of earth and sunset skies into rich interior accents. or putting the beauty of a forest in the palm of your hands... it will take you to another place... wherever you happen to be.
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pitch in and help, broke out our trusty lie detector to help determine which kids deserve to get presents and which don't. 70-year-old taylor didn't know that. she swore to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. hi, nice to meet you. >> nice to meet you too. >> jimmy: the truth fairy. >> nice meeting you. >> hi. >> jimmy: the truth fairy is going to put a lie detector on you. okay. >> okay. >> jimmy: an electronic device attached to your fingers and head there. if you do lie to me, we will hear a buzzer, we will know that you are lying. i ask that you tell the complete truth, okay. >> okay. >> jimmy: very good. as you know christmas is coming up. have you done anything, anything at all, naughty this year? >> no. >> jimmy: right off the bat we are getting some lies. go ahead and tell me some naughty things you did. okay. tell me the truth. >> sometimes i don't really clean up after my dog because --
well, i know santa doesn't because one night when we visited virginia it was christmas day. i want on to my yard. i'm look what its that? it was big reindeer poop. i didn't know why. i thought he cleaned up after his reindeer. >> jimmy: can i tell you something, and i just, if you could keep this between us, it would be great. santa's reindeer didn't poop on the lawn. santa pooped on the lawn. he was in the sleigh for the whole night.
and sometimes, all the cookies that people leave him. some times he has to go. santa pooped in the yard in virginia. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: even santa does naughty things sometimes. in fact, santa for a while was pooping in the house. and it was a problem. because people wanted to know what was going on. blaming their children. do you think it is better to give gifts or get gifts. >> i think, give. i mean like they give. they give. that's what i mean. >> jimmy: they give. oh, okay. that makes more sense. they give. so you think it is better to receive than to give. >> yeah, kind of. i still need to learn that. >> jimmy: you what? >> i still kind of ne t think of anything. >> jimmy: uh-huh. uh-huh. i'm glad you are being honest about it, i mean, you know, not everyone does nice things. >> not everyone. >> jimmy: you included. maybe you can do some nice
things before. >> yeah. >> christmas. >> christmas. >> jimmy: do you do your chores? >> well not all the time. >> jimmy: not all the time. okay. >> some times when my dad tells me to take out the dog. i do. even though tip is really -- >> who? >> my brother. >> jimmy: your brother is named after a mouse. is your brother a mouse. >> he knows the show of stuart little the mouse. >> jimmy: should i write him down for no gifts? >> well, maybe. >> jimmy: half a gift. >> half. >> jimmy: chop something in half and give it off to him. >> uh-huh. like half. >> guillermo: half a cookie. >> half a bracelet or necklace. >> jimmy: a good idea. get him half a bracelet. or necklace. half a necklace. >> or ring. >> jimmy: have you done anything else you want to tell me about this year. anything that i could say to
santa that would, you know, because the nicer you have been, the more gifts you are going to get. i mean, as simple as that. >> no, not really. >> jimmy: nothing. huh. i have one more question. do you've think the truth fairy is beautiful. >> yes. just for the little white things that kind of looks like. >> jimmy: i am not asking about. >> could use a little pretty hair. >> jimmy: look at the truth fairy do you think the truth fay year is beautiful. >> i love the wings. pink is my favorite color. >> jimmy: the question i'm asking you, do you think the truth fairy is beautiful. >> yes. exempt for the mustache. >> jimmy: the truth fairy should save. >> yes. >> jimmy: see that i told you you should shave. >> guillermo: for christmas i will shave. >> jimmy: he will shave for christmas. okay. >> okay. >> jimmy: and tonight from scandal, scott foley is here. we have music from jeff campbell. and we'll be right back with carey mulligan. ♪
program. the new ep, in spite of everything. jeff campbell from the sony stage tonight. you can see jeff live at the viper room. next week, mark wahlberg, collin farrell, bill simmons, jalen rose, bruce dern, jean triplehorn, and live music, and mega death, and a special duet from christopher cross and ron burgundy. from anchorman. our first guest tonight, an oscar and golden globe nominated actress. delight to behold always. her latest collaboration with cohen brothers in the excellent new movie "inside llewyn davis," which opens nationwide on december 20th. please welcome carey mulligan. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> good, how are you. >> the hair is the seam color it
was in the movie. >> that is a wig. it is the same color. >> jimmy: who would you have the wig the same color hair? >> because it wasn't, gosh, this is a great story to start with. it wasn't my hair color before. >> jimmy: whose hair color was it? >> i had very, very short blond hair. from "the great gatsby." >> jimmy: just finished. >> the great gatsby, flew from new york to australia. >> jimmy: i loved that movie. great movie. this is also a great movie. really, just, the cohen brothers almost every one of their movies is absolutely great. this one is no exception. and well, you, well, we'll got to talk about the movie in a men out. you haven't been here for like what? >> 3 1/2 years. >> jimmy: take us to what
happened to you every minute since the last time you were here. >> i feel like i should have something to lie down on. >> jimmy: do you go to england for the holidays? >> i do, i go back to london. >> jimmy: seems like the best place to have christmas, the most christmassy place to have christmas. >> the american christmases seem, no offense -- just -- awful. american christmases, you know, it's too hot, too sunny. >> jimmy: in l.a. >> no, no, granted. in l.a. it is like. >> jimmy: this isn't even america here in l.a. >> right. this is something else. i went to the grove the other day. >> jimmy: shopping center. >> that's something sit in, gosh? >> jimmy: did you like it or not? >> i kind of did. >> jimmy: it's like it is very artificial but pleasant. >> you see this massive
gingerbread house right in the middle. you are like, yeah, all right. i'm in. >> jimmy: see that's what termites feel look when they see a regular house. >> so there is no other reason to go to the grove than to feel look a termite. >> jimmy: if you want to feel like a termite, one of the top places to go. do you ever have to work on christmas? >> no, not as an actor. i did in my youth. >> jimmy: doing what? >> i was a bar maid. >> wow. >> jimmy: how old? >> i was 18. that's legal in england. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. so you bring people drinks? >> no, no, i was, pulled pints. i didn't leave the confines of the bar. but i was, yeah, i was a kind of
i don't know what that is. that's what? pull a pint. >> jimmy: in las vegas playing slot machines. you make like the guinness shamrock. >> i could do that. i could do that. don't bring one out or anything. i haven't done that in a while. >> jimmy: a talent. >> i was a bar maid before nine months before i started acting. >> jimmy: what kind of pub were you are bar maid at. >> the three pigeons, a nice relatively nice pub. then one called the french horn which was less nice. >> jimmy: less nice. a rough place? >> i mean it was like -- you know, the occasional bottle fight, but nothing too. >> jimmy: bottle fights, huh? >> yeah, great fun. >> jimmy: we think of people in england as genteel, we don't think. a soccer game. we don't think of bottle fights in a bar. >> yeah, it happens. >> jimmy: you were in the middle of them. >> i was a bar maid. >> you were supplying the bottles. >> handing them out. encouraging my team. i had just, just cast my first ever movie. cast in pride and prejudice. got the job. a week later was going to quit. and join the movie. a huge fight broke out. people were hitting each other with not bottles. i was like not now, i am just about out of the pub.
i was hiding behind the counter with my hand over my face. don't touch the face. >> jimmy: do you ever go back to the -- the french horn. >> the french horn was demolished. >> jimmy: it was. because of you? you had it destroyed. >> possibly. the three pigeons is still there though. >> jimmy: what kind of a young person were you, well behaved, a trouble maker? >> pretty well behaved. >> jimmy: you were. >> i had one rebellious moment in my entire youth, which in my mind this was rebellious. i turned 16 and i had a super heroes party in my house. and i dressed up as a teenage mutant ninja turtle. >> jimmy: that was the rebellious moment. we call that halloween. wow. all right. all right, everyone calm down. allegations are, are being flying around here. when we come back, you met the queen. i want to ask you about that. of course, the new movie, more with carey mulligan when we come back. [ cheers and applause ]
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blow ♪ ♪ 100 miles . ♪ 100 miles ♪ 100 miles ♪ 100 miles ♪ you can hear the whistle blow 100 miles ♪ jimmy: carey mulligan! "inside llewyn davis" opens wide on december 20th. justin timberlake as well. i didn't realize he was in the movie until he popped up in the movie. >> you didn't. we play a singing duo, jim and jean. >> jimmy: was it fun singing with him or nerve-racking? >> it's nerve-racking because he is an okay singer. a bit daunting. no, great. lovely. >> jimmy: i heard you sang on
stage with elvis costello recently? >> i did. >> jimmy: that's got to be daunting, i mean? >> yeah, he, justin, couldn't make it. so they brought elvis costello. >> jimmy: practically interchangeable. >> i always think of them as the same thing. we sang 500 miles together. i'm getting red thinking about it. >> jimmy: another great encounter here with -- with the queen of england. that's you with blond hair. are you in mid curtsy right now? >> mid curtsy. also a yoga pose. yes. >> jimmy: what is that yoga pose, what is it called? >> terror. yeah. >> jimmy: high-heeled yoga. >> that's real. >> jimmy: do they train you to meet the queen? i have heard there are a lot of rules that must be abided by you. >> they give you relatively little training for this. well i went to this party, i suppose it was a party. and not really knowing really what it was. i thought i would see the queen from a mile away. and, you know take a photo on my
phone or something. i arrived at windsor castle. some one said, ms. mulligan would you follow us. i went in the room. there were five people in there. you are all going to meet the queen on your own. i was like, i did my own hair, i'm wearing, i mean, i just completely freaked out. this guy came up, he said, and miss mulligan wanted to let you know the hem of your dress has fallen down, would you like a safety pin. yes, i need a safety pin. if i met the queen without a hem on my dress. >> jimmy: you could be beheaded me. >> my mother would behead me. so, he ran off got the safety pin. came back. got down on the floor and was fixing my dress. i need alcohol. then some one gave me a glass of champagne. what do i do? kenneth bragna was there, practically related to them. kenneth, what do i do? he taught me how to curtsy? >> jimmy: really? >> very brief lesson. he made me feel very
comfortable. >> jimmy: who taught him how to curtsy. >> that's a good question. >> jimmy: that is something. did you speak, get a chance to see? >> i went like -- >> jimmy: did you get the sense she was familiar with your work? >> i mean, look, it was just the craziest moment of my entire life. and it clearly -- i mean this is -- >> jimmy: crazier than the birthday party where you dressed as one of the teenage mutant ninja turtles, which turtle was it so we know? >> leonardo. >> jimmy: the best one. carrie mulligan. we will be right back with scott foley! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ grandma and grandpa! ♪ merry christmas. ♪
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scott foley. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i'm doing good. >> jimmy: when you come here dressed look that like you rode over on a motorcycle. makes me feel like a nerd. >> i had two choices. my publicist chose this one. it's not my responsibility. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> great. how are you? >> jimmy: the show is hugely popular. you are not the most popular character. >> ah. >> jimmy: on the show. >> a great first question. was it a question. >> jimmy: not really a question. just a damning statement. it's good i think in a way. you've want people to feel that, or do you want people to feel
that? >> you do. i joined the show middle of the second season. was a fan before i was on it. if you are familiar with the show, olivia and fitz the main relationship. >> jimmy: he is the president? >> the president played by tony goldwin. i came in to sort of woo her away. it got on the nerves of the scandal fans. >> jimmy: they let you know this personally? >> yeah, yeah. personally. on twitter. on the streets. really everywhere i go. >> jimmy: terrific. >> it's very sweet. >> jimmy: do people have trouble with the difference between real and television? >> people not only dislike my character. they seem to dislike me for playing the character. >> jimmy: great, terrific. >> twitter is, the twitter is an amazing thing really. >> jimmy: great way to get insulted by 1,000 people at once. >> it really is. some of the tweets, you know, they post links to blogs people have written not just about
jake, what about a bad person scott foley is. for playing the character of jake. things i have done in the past. in my personal life. amazing how people attack you. >> and, if you are actually running for office. >> don't know what i can do to make them like me more. i really don't care. >> jimmy: what about your wife? is she rooting for you to get together with olivia? how does that work? >> my wife is a big scandal fan. on tonight. will have been by the time i get, a big fan of fitz and olivia. she is my wife. she wants me to get the girl, even though it's not her. >> jimmy: or wants you out of the house. your wife is an actress? >> she is a successful actress. also, my biggest fan which is a great thing. >> jimmy: that is nice. >> yeah, yeah. you hope that would be the case. >> jimmy: starting to come around on the whole hating you thing. sound like you are telling us she is your only fan is really what is going on? >> you know what in the house i have two young kids. my wife is my only fan. >> jimmy: your wife is of polish descent, but is she from poland? >> my wife was born in poland. left when she was 2, group in a polish community in brooklyn, greenpoint, speaks fluent
polish, speaks polish to our kids. >> jimmy: do you speak pole snish. >> -- polish. we have been together ten years. i get the gist. word here and there. she speaks to our kids total polish. joy only in polish. >> jimmy: wow, is that their first language? >> i hope not. i don't mean that in a bad way. i love polish. a fantastic language and the polish people are fantastic people. >> jimmy: you married one of them. >> i did indeed. a good thing. for me, specifically the fact that, that she speaks, not only do the kids in polish, her family when they come around. they've all speak polish. i've don't have to participate. it's really, really helpful. yeah. >> jimmy: so you guys are like having dinner together. everyone will speak polish? >> we'll be out taking the kids
to the mall, family, mom, brothers, sisters, they're all speaking polish. i am able to enjoy my orange chicken at the end of the table. no one bothers me. no one asks my opinion. >> jimmy: do they speak english? >> they speak perfect english. >> jimmy: they choose not to speak english. you get a lot of abuse in your life. i'm worried about you. >> speak english, but choose not to speak to you. >> jimmy: you are kind of enjoying it. >> i have a good gig. >> jimmy: how do they feel about polish jokes? do they know about that? big in the 70s and 80s. >> it is interesting. because she is, basically american. polish american. lived her entire life. she still cannot stand a polish joke. they're funny. >> jimmy: i guess. some are funny. >> look any joke. a joke is funny. she, we were watching, forget what the movie was in the theater, the guy, some one said, want to hear a polish joke, turned to me, hit me, can you believe this?
i said, yeah, babe it's a polish joke. >> jimmy: you were raised in saint louis, missouri. >> i was. >> jimmy: my wife is from saint louis. >> i know, yeah. >> jimmy: i have upset most of the town because, there is a pizza place. >> here it comes. >> jimmy: yes. >> you have been dragged into this. you stand by, they love emo's pizza. i was very excited to try emo's pizza. i love pizza. heard so much about it. i did not love it. >> a shame, jimmy. >> jimmy: do you love it? >> i love it. >> jimmy: would you be willing to submit to polygraph test? >> i will. >> a cat with a rat on a log with a dog. i love emo's pizza. >> jimmy: the last time you had it. >> funny you say that. i stopped eating dairy three years ago. >> jimmy: i don't think there is any dairy in that cheese, by the way. >> the cheese, a ton of dairy. my stomach knows there is a ton of dairy in the cheese. >> jimmy: you stand by -- >> provelle.
provolone version of velveta. >> first time i took her to emo's pizza. ted drew's. great. >> jimmy: great. frozen custard. >> yeah. she took a bite. she said what do you think, great, right? she said it's good. it's not pizza, but it's good. >> jimmy: excellent t-shirt for them. it's not pizza, it is good. scott foley, watch him on scandal, thursday night on abc. when we come back, music from jeff campbell. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: i'd like to thank carey mulligan, scott foley, and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, this is his brand new album "in spite of everything," here with song "save me," jeff campbell. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. ♪ useless using me for my eyes i'm as blind as can be ♪ ♪ but you know that i'll always try to see things in the brightest of light ♪
♪ nothing like falling over before your feet even hit the ♪ sometimes it feels like its dark all the time ♪ ♪ nothing like falling over before your feet even hit the ground ♪ ♪ got one hand on your shoulder baby it looks like we're both going down ♪ ♪ so save my neck for me just one more time ♪ ♪ i'm guilty as hell it don't matter the crime but you got a way to make everything all right ♪ ♪ and i know you're gonna save me tonight you're gonna save me ♪ ♪ it's when i get lost that i don't play fair believe me when i say i wish i could care ♪ ♪ when it really matters cause