tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC June 10, 2019 11:35pm-12:35am PDT
for larry, sandhya, thank you oh, and this looks great. for joining us. jimmy kimmel live is next. e eswords for sale? >> good night. no. go, go, go, go. now you can get fast, reliable internet and save hundreds on your wireless bill. that's simple, easy, awesome. taxi! should i have stopped her? >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! get started with a limited time offer on xfinity internet for $19.99 a month tonight -- will arnett, for 12 months, plus ask how to get from "always be my maybe," two-hundred-fifty back when you switch to xfinity mobile. ali wong. and music from king calaway. and now, pace yourselves, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. those who've been with us during our nba pregame special in prime time for game 5 of the nba finals between the raptors and the warriors. in the history of the nba finals no team has ever come back from a 3-1 hole to win against an opponent to eats round bacon. and that was --
[ laughter ] the warriors' fas k tonight. much of the focus today was on whether kevin durant would be able to play in the game. coach steve kerr said durant is either going to play or he's not. and he was right. [ laughter ] he did play. how the game turned out we don't know yet because we shoot our show at 5:00 in l.a. and the game starts at 6:00 in l.a. even though the game is not in l.a. it's in toronto. why they say in l.a. makes no -- it's all very confusing. but you'll get it figured out for us, right, guillermo? >> guillermo: right, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you very much. [ laughter ] meanwhile i don't know if this has anything to do with the raptors but this is very odd. last night justin bieber tweeted "i want to challenge tom cruise to fight in the octagon. tom, if you don't take this fight, you're scared and you will never live it down. who is willing to put on the fight? @danawhite." who runs the ufc. i'm ready. the raptors go up 3-1, all of a but, clearly, i'm a little nervous. there are so many expectations.
sudden every canadian thinks he's mike tyson. like, on the sticker, [ laughter ] but starting a fight on twitter "city mileage this, highway that." totally randomly with a uh, that's a lot to live up to. celebrity. who does justin bieber think he but i heard no gas gets better mileage is, president of the united than chevron with techron. yeah, no better mileage. states? it's proven. so that's a confidence builder. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it's proven; no gas gets better mileage i would like to see it, though. i would pay to see it. than chevron with techron. that would be some fight. top gun versus man bun. care for your car. so much for my new car smell, guys. [ laughter ] tom cruise barely -- has no interest in fighting justin bieber. and you find that perfect spring dress which i guess he's never listened to any of his music. at that "oh, yeah" price? but the big question is why is yes! that's yes for less. this happening? if this was a stunt, tom cruise score the latest spring dresses at 20% to 60% off would have done it himself. department store prices, but why would justin bieber every day. at ross. challenge tom cruise to fight? yes for less. i've been working to get to the bottom of this. i have a theory. and that theory is this. maybe he's upset about the time a few years ago when tom cruise stole his haircut. [ laughter ] or i actually have another i mean, to lose your father theory with what might be going once is a shock. on but we have to go all the way back to 2012 to go through it. but twice. >> what do you mean? in march of 2012 justin bieber and tom cruise were both >> she told me you lost yourdad nominees at the nickelodeon years ago.
>> you don't seem surprised. kid's choice awards. >> well, she's a tough cookie. justin had just won favorite male singer for the second year in a row and he's feeling pretty sometimes you've got to pull good about himself. down the shutters. and tom cruise was nominated for favorite butt kicker. this is a great tune. this was the category for his >> jimmy: that is will arnett in season 2 of "riviera." role in the fourth "mission >> that's not me. impossible" movie. tom lost that award to taylor >> jimmy: that was not you? >> that's not me. >> jimmy: well, why would we lautner from "twilight." play that clip if that wasn't and then moments later this you? happened to justin bieber. >> i don't know. that's not me. he got slimed. so bieber gets covered in goop. >> jimmy: well, it's about time you that spread your wings and he looks out in the crowd. got into dramatic acting. and who does he see? >> european dramatic acting. >> jimmy: european dramatic lieutenant mitchell. acting. >> agreed. >> jimmy: and sundance now, it's like that channel was made for laughing at him. you. is that a channel? >> that's a heck of a question. [ applause ] imagine that. you're covered in this industrial waste and this cocky movie star who just lost the you know -- >> jimmy: the press release for butt kicking award to the "riviera" says you join the prettiest werewolf on "twilight" is grinning at you with those second season of the show as perfect white teeth. you might want to fight him to. charismatic uncle jeff. but you can't because you're 9 >> what makes you laugh about years old. [ laughter ] now it's seven years later and that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really the uncle jeff here we are. the biebs wants a piece of tom part. because every role is charismatic when you're in jeff cruise. this truly is the dumbest time to be alive. [ laughter ] you want to know what i think is
really going on? i'll tell you. i'll give you my honest theory. i think last night justin bieber got drunk -- well, that's it. [ applause ] >> this morning i was thinking about it. that's what i think happened. i had about 180 yards downhill. i mean, i was at work. [ applause ] speaking of dumb, here's our daily doozy from donald trump. he was up early retweeting [ laughter ] what are you talking about? himself today. he wrote, "if president obama you know, they told me uncle made the deals that i've made jeff, and i got there, this is a both at the border and for the true story, and they had a economy the corrupt media would be hailing them as incredible and a national holiday would be trailer and stuff, uncle jeff. immediately declared with me despite our record setting i said take that off. economy and all that i have done uncle jeff? no credit." baby jeff. >> jimmy: not uncle jeff. maybe the reason he can't get credit is because you've >> or handsome jeff. declared bankruptcy six times. >> jimmy: lil' jeff. you know? he is so out of it. >> yeah, lil'. my youngest son abe'll is here. [ applause ] he is so desperately insecure. he claims his rapper name is lil you think if we just gave him a jelly. which i liked. national holiday he would relax? he had a great joke today. i mean, let's try. he said what does fruit have on their tombstones? let's call it trumpsgiving and align it with whatever day the i said what? he said r.i.p.e. mcrib comes back every year. and see what happens. >> jimmy: wow. that is a good joke.
trump is also mad at "the new york times" for their coverage of his deal or no deal with [ applause ] >> that's a good joke. mexico. this morning he wrote, "when he's kind of your nemesis as you will the failing new york times admit that their front page know. >> jimmy: we've had our battles. we've gone back and forth over story on the new mexico deal at who the real batman is. the border is a fraud and you claim to be lego batman. nothing more than a badly i was batman in "teen titans" reported hit job on me, something that has been going on since the first day i announced movie. >> well, first of all, i don't claim to be. i am. for the presidency? sick journalism." >> jimmy: i'm the more current i don't know if it's sick batman. >> that's not true. journalism or sick journalism! lego movie 2 came out after "teen titans." [ laughter ] trump is upset because the >> jimmy: for a while i was the "times" reported that mexico's most current batman. concession on border security was not because of his tariff >> then as abel said you became threat but it was actually the the forgotten batman. result of months of preparation >> jimmy: and now robert by his staff. pattinson is batman. and trump was like, that is fake >> that's right. >> jimmy: do you get a special alert about that or do you find news, my staff is never out like everyone else? >> you'd think -- i find out prepared. like everyone else. [ laughter ] the "times" says the deal trump claims he made was actually made >> jimmy: have you reached out months ago. to bob? but trump now says there's a to advise him. secret agreement with mexico that nobody knows about. >> 3patty? >> jimmy: patty. not even him. whatever you guys call each other. to advise him on this. >> i haven't yet.
i imagine the young fella's [ laughter ] going to reach out to me. the funniest thing is this is "the new york times." i don't think trump's base would and he's going to want to know, have had any awareness of this story if he hadn't brought it you know, what do i do if i've up. it's like texting everyone in your phone, please don't look at this picture of my pants falling stt sort of 90 yards and it's down, which is attached. [ laughter ] there was another weird story out of the white house today. it has nothing to do -- an oak tree that was given to >> oh, for batman. trump by french president >> jimmy: where are you going to watch the game tonight? what is the plan? emmanuel macron, there they are >> the plan is i'm going to watch -- we're going to watch it pretending to plant it together. at home. we're going to get a burger on this was a gift that was our way home from here. intended to symbolize the i like to keep it real, jim. friendship between our >> jimmy: do the kids root for countries. has died. the raptors or do they have it committed suicide. their own -- >> i don't care. [ laughter ] it hung itself from a person. >> jimmy: -- team living here in l.a.? >> i've got them on a different it was really -- [ laughter ] this is the spot where the tree channel. no, that's not true. archie roots -- he's rooting for was looks like now. the raptors. it's just a yellow spot. and abel roots for -- he's been a warriors fan since he was really little. it's actually right where they >> jimmy: oh, wow. buried sean spicer. >> i've got to say that segment it's in a -- there's been no you did on canadians being, you official comment from the white house or the department of know, switching allegiances, agriculture, which actually runs the white house lawn. really i think that it says a but make no mistake. lot -- that's maybe the most that tree is as dead as the eyes poignant thing i've ever seen on
of the trump children. canada. and i'm not kidding. [ applause ] because it betrays a certain this is something i'd like to see eric and ivanka and djtj take part in. this week we invite you our viewers to participate in what has become an annual tradition. our father's day youtube we lgh about it, butt's a challenge. sweet thing. our challenge this year is based it's a sweet notion that they're on another viral video trend. willing to sell out their -- that trend being this. [ laughter ] just to be on tv. >> jimmy: their very blood to be on tv. tv is a powerful mistress. yeah. a lot of kids got hit by cheese, >> it's incredible, isn't it? >> jimmy: yeah, it is. and now it's pay-back time. >> it's so intoxicating. our challenge for 2019 is record you've been drunk on it for yourself throwing a piece of cheese onto your dad's face and years, jim. then post it to youtube with the >> jimmy: thanks, uncle jeff. it's great to see you. title "hey jimmy kimmel i threw will arnett. season 2 of "riviera" starts cheese on my dad's face." be creative but be careful. we'll be back with ali wong. don't run dad over with a wheel of cheese. a slice is nice. [ cheers and applause ] right on the face. we have a long history with [sighs] these challenges. one year we asked kids to spray their dads with a hose. we can't get him to eat anything. >> we've got a lot of natural foods...
[ bleep ]. we get it. what are you doing? stop! [sighs happily] you got it. >> son of a! we're petsmart. get canidae and merrick dog and cat food... now at petsmart. what do you want to be i going to be an astronaut! >> why are you doing this? ♪ you can put your mind to do whatever you wanna do ♪ >> jimmy: all right. this was a little easier to pull ♪ just tell yourself that you capable, too ♪ ♪ you gon' be something, you're glorious ♪ off. again, we want you to cheese your dad, post that video to ♪ we well-known, notorious youtube with the title hey jimmy ♪ they can't stop you or block you or mock you ♪ kimmel i threw cheese on my dad's face. that way we can find it. ♪ you fall down, but get up and skip and hop through ♪ and then look for a message on ♪ kick down doors for others to walk through ♪ youtube from us. we'll put our favorite videos on the show just after father's we have much more power day. oh, back to basketball. than we give ourselves credit for. i mentioned tonight toronto, nba ♪ you have a purpose, to make you say, ♪ finals, game 5. the raptors are the first ♪ "did i do that?" urkel canadian team ever to play in the final. and they're beloved by not just ♪ now we callin' reality a city but a nation of very loyal fans. ♪ virtual 3,2,1, ignition! or are they loyal fans? we do not know. we wanted to put their loyalty ♪ look out 'cause here i come to the test. so we sent a crew to toronto
with a game plan. ♪ and i'm marching on to the beat i drum ♪ we told raptors fans who were ♪ marching on, marching, marching on to you ♪ walking by that we were shooting promos for the nba finals for ♪ i'm not scared to be seen ♪ i make no apologies, this is me ♪ abc. and we asked them to do a favor for us. and the favor was put on a ♪ this is brave, this is bruised ♪ warriors jersey and pretend you're rooting for golden state. ♪ this is who i'm meant to be, this is me ♪ >> are you excited about the raptors being in the finals? >> yes, of course. to complement a sandwich. who isn't? >> excited about the raptors ♪ the all-new frenchie, a combination of all-natural salami and capicola, being in the finals? ? . >> oh, yeah, it's going to be the fun game. hand-sliced provolone and salted butter on a baguette. >> big raptors fan? >> yeah. ♪ we're north! >> what do you like about the raptors? >> everything. the spirit, the fans, the people. >> i think we're doing great. we're going to take this thing. >> it's canada's team. you know, we're all behind them. the whole country. no one else can say that. >> i love the raptors because they kind of identify, you know, canadian roots. hand-sliced provolone and salted butter on a baguette. this ijust listen. work hard. good team. play together. >> we're shooting some promos (vo) there's so much we want to show her. for abc. >> yes. >> i'm going to throw you a we needed a car that would last long enough to see it all. basketball. just catch the basketball, look in the camera and say watch the rapt (avo) subaru outback. think you can do that? ninety eight percent are still on the road after 10 years. >> yes. >> here we go. three, two, one. >> watch the raptors on abc. come on mom, let's go!
>> i love my raptors on abc. >> watch the raptors only on abc. >> i hate to ask you this. do you battery sound. want a charge? we're supposed to fly to yeah battery charging. ♪ california to get other side of this but not going to be able to fly out there. any chance i can get you just to like throw a warriors -- >> you want me to put a golden state warriors jersey on? >> yeah. ♪ just to give me the promo. . >> you'll have to find someone else. >> all you have to do is -- thank you so much. >> no way. you're not get meg to say that. battery charging. i'm raptors only. ♪ i'm not putting that jersey on. >> throw this on right over that. that's perfect. thanks, bud. that's perfect. that color actually goes better with your eyes. can i get you to pop that off, throw a warriors thing on? >> yeah. >> that would be great. trade that one for this one. here you go. put that on. go ahead and zip that up, cover up that raptors stuff. >> tell no one. >> you're going to make a lost enemies. >> i know. don't tell anyone. this is why i said keep your
mouth shut. >> i love my warriors on abc. >> what do you love about the warriors? >> steph curry. >> how important is loyalty to you? >> loyalty's everything. you can't be a flip-flopper. you can't just jump on a bandwagon team. your team, that's it for life. once you choose your team and you're with them. you're a part of them. >> one more time. go warriors. >> go warriors. >> what do you like about the warriors? >> wilt chamberlain used to play for them. so you know, i like the warriors. >> swaggy team. got a lot of energy. >> how long have you been a warriors fan? >> not overly long. >> raptors? ♪ to do whatever you wanna do get these guys out of here. ♪ just tell yourself that you capable, too ♪ ♪ look out 'cause here i come ♪ i make no apologies, this is me ♪ they don't belong here. >> you're getting these construction workers angry. >> watch the raptors on abc. we the north. >> watch the warriors on abc! we the south. >> say stick to hockey, canada.
>> stick to hockey, canada. >> leave the basketball to america. >> leave the basketball to america. >> america rules. >> america rules. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks, everyone, for being so ridiculously nice. tonight on the show we've got music from king calaway. ali wong is here. we'll be right back with will arnett. lo darkness, my old friend ♪ announcer: more details incoming involving volkswagen and the growing scandal. dissatisfied customers filing complaints against the german auto maker. ♪ because a vision softly creeping ♪ ♪ left its seeds while i was sleeping ♪ ♪ and the vision ♪ that was planted in my brain ♪ ♪ still remains ♪ within the sound of silence ♪ in restless dreams i walked alone ♪
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kids' nikes - only $39 dollars... and men's adidas - $56.24... plus - get kohl's cash! kohl's. see ya later. i'm outalright.. fellas. ♪ hello, are you the locksmith? yes i am. come on in. i think we were able to salvage the lock. [ shouting ] ♪ muchas gracias. ya tú sabes. ughing ] the pink? let's go mets! go time daddy! [ giggles ] number six, number six. ohhhh man. took my hat off. [ "to love somebody" by bee gees playing ] >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back to our show. [ crowd cheering ] that's crazy! tonight, she has a new movie on netflix called "always be my let's go mets! maybe." the very funny ali wong is here let's go mets! with us. [ cheers and applause ] [ crowd chanting ] let's go mets! and then this is their self-titled e.p., king calaway
from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] later this week we have new ♪ shows with among many others tom hanks, pamela adlon, and music from coffee. so please be with us. by the way, guillermo and i were start the day slow-roasting turkey for incredible flavor. at a wedding together this then, they double seal every slice for freshness. weekend. on saturday night our dear friend and co-worker max got married to his beautiful bride the results, well, they speak for themselves. nora and guillermo and his wife were invited to the wedding. and it was a beautiful wedding. correct? >> guillermo: yeah, it was wonderful. >> jimmy: you had fun, guillermo? >> guillermo: i did. i had a lot of fun. >> jimmy: guillermo had so much fun that in fact in the middle of the meal he said "all right, good night, i'm going to leave." and we're like what do you mean you're going to leave? the main course hasn't even world elite mastercard, now with more automatic benefits. arrived yet. and he said, "oh, i got invited let's order some food. to go see j. lo." start reconnecting. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: we did our best to start something priceless. keep you there as long as explore the new benefits of the world elite mastercard. welcome back to the show. possible. >> guillermo: yeah, like until 7:00, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: until 7:00. that's right. and he wanted to go home so he could change his pants.
[ laughter ] >> guillermo: they were too tight. >> jimmy: and did you make it to j. lo on time? >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: what time did j. lo actually go on stage? >> guillermo: 8:45. >> jimmy: right. so you could have stayed at the wedding. >> guillermo: right. but had i to change my pants. >> jimmy: our first guest tonight is a lifelong canadian and very funny man who bleeds toronto raptors red. which is just red, really. starting june 20th, he joins the crime series "riviera" which streams on sundance now. please welcome will arnett. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> man! i am psyched to be here.
>> jimmy: what, have you been with the trump boys? still to come, king calaway. what's going on? >> no, man. our next guest is a very funny i've been busy. just doing my work stuff. actor, writer, and comedian with >> jimmy: what kind of work a couple of great stand-up stuff have you been doing? specials under her frequently >> just been doing like meetings and stuff. and a lot of -- just a lot of pregnant belt. next you can see her in the work-related -- i don't want to bore the audience with all my -- romantic comedy "always be my maybe." it's available now on netflix. >> jimmy: your work-related stuff. >> i work outdoors a lot. >> jimmy: oh, you do? please welcome ali wong. [ cheers and applause ] [ phone ] is your phone ringing? >> hang on one second. ♪ >> jimmy: okay. >> hey, man. good. i'm -- i'm just kind of in the how are you doing? middle of -- what time are you >> good. >> jimmy: very good to have you here. guys going to tee off? >> it's so nice to be here. >> jimmy: i think most people probably know you primarily from your comedy specials. >> yes. >> jimmy: in both of which you were pregnant. >> i know. >> jimmy: are you making a tee and people always ask me, are you going to be pregnant for time? every single stand-up special? >> no. i -- okay. and if i'm late they'll just run atam i goi to get pregnant me up to the second tee. all right, man. like eight times? get back to work. >> jimmy: who was that? >> jimmy: i don't know. that's up to you, i guess.
>> just work. it was a work call. it would be quite a hook. >> no. >> jimmy: it was a work call. no more. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: by the way, these are >> i've been working a lot. >> jimmy: well, it's funny you say that because i saw you photographs from the specials. and they inspire people to start decidedly not working at all at the raptors game. you were at game 2. >> i was at game 2. i like to every once in a while, dressing up like you. >> yes. okay? >> jimmy: these are just random excuse me. i like to take a little r&r time people from instagram. for myself. is that okay? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm not attacking you. >> i know. it's so crazy. i just noticed you -- when it happened that first halloween and everybody dressed up in the striped dress, and it >> i'm busy, in the business of show. i'm going here, i'm talking to was crazy because all of these women said to me, thank you for this guy, i'm meeting, this i'm shooting this thing. giving us asian-american women i'm writing, ba, ba, ba, and i finally an easy halloween need a second to deflate. i'm going to go come up to the raptors game. okay. got to get a deep v. costume. [ laughter ] they were like it's so nice to be able to -- look, olivia munn. okay. >> jimmy: where do you find a golf shirt that's exactly the >> jimmy: olivia munn dressing same color as your skin? as you. >> they were like it's so nice to be able to not wear a wig, not have to buy a wig and just wear a striped dress from my [ laughter ] >> that's good. closet and shove a pillow up that's good. you know who doesn't like that, there. so really they're thanking me jimmy? my friends at adidas. for giving them a cheap costume. which is such an asian thing to be grateful for. [ laughter ] my new --
[ laughter ] but yeah, i think that's one of >> jimmy: are you working with the like -- i hateng about them now? >> my new friends at adidas. >> jimmy: what brand sunglasses representation because i get are those? i've not seen those since the asked about it all the time and diversity. '90s. but i have to say that for me i >> do you really want to know? think those costumes were kind >> jimmy: yeah. i can't -- rawlings. of like a very unexpected oh, i see. the baseball glove company. delightful benefit of >> yeah. representation. because listen, man. >> jimmy: yeah. >> because halloween is one of when i'm working, i'm going those holidays that's so like joyous but it can be really 110%. you know what you i mean? stressful. you know, for little kids >> jimmy: yeah. because they're like i have to >> so rawlings. they're the guys that get me get a wig because i need to be poison ivy. but like for them they were like there. this is so nice to just -- >> jimmy: i was a wolfman every the gang over at rawlings. year. because i never had a costume. >> jimmy: so you were at the and i put -- >> you felt represented. game. >> i was at game 2 in toronto. representation matters. >> jimmy: finally wolfmen have >> jimmy: drake was at that game been represented. so what happeneo eonate it. too. >> i guess. >> jimmy: yeah. because if you watched the tv coverage -- you didn't watch it because you were at the game. to the national museum of american history. none of it was about drake. >> jimmy: for real? >> for real real. >> no. >> jimmy: it was all about you. >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: and you gave it to them, right? >> jimmy: have you seen the game on tv yet? >> i said no. >> no, i don't watch -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> jimmy: let me show you some of what you missed. archie bunker -- fonzie's jacket
is there 37. >> the dorothy red shoes are yeah. there. and i said no. because that dress is discontinued and i wanted to save it for my daughter. but then i had two. and there's only one of the dress. and i was like i don't want them to fight over the dress. and it would be an honor to have that dress be at that museum. >> jimmy: yeah. so is the dress now there? >> no. >> announcer: i have to -- i have to give it to them. will, there's a way. and then they also have to wash the nba finals. nothing but arnett. it because there's all this probably like pregnant juice on it. [ laughter ] that juice was like $8 from h & [ cheers and applause ] m. it's so crazy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> jimmy: well, you can buy them now at party city it sounds they couldn't get enough of you. like. >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, that's quite an >> i swear to god, i haven't honor to have something you wore in the smithsonian. >> it is. been that moved in a long time. you know, and i think about -- that was incredible. when they asked me and i decided and you got a hell of a gang of to give it to them, i think a guys who are -- and gals who are lot about my dad because he -- putting videos together and you know, he grew up in this cutting stuff. and they're working overtime. one-bedroom apartment in and man, this is -- because a chinatown with no running water. and he worked his ass off to lost people s lot of people say jimmy's got study and become this a -- it's a rinky-dink anesthesiologist to provide the operation. >> jimmy: people are saying that? best life possible for me and my [ laughter ] >> a lost people.
siblings. and even when i was struggling, molly said that. he was so supportive. >> jimmy: my wife? >> your wife. he would come to my [ bleep ] -- >> jimmy: she works here. >> i know. oh. >> jimmy: it's okay. >> he would come to my not so molly said that. theroux said that. justin theroux. the only guy who has worse skin well-attended shows. tone than me. >> jimmy: by the way, what a boost for the v-neck t-shirt [ laughter ] and when i -- i'd announce oh, industry. >> it's incredible. my dad is here, everybody. after i did a really filthy we really felt like we got left behind years ago over in the joke. it was always really good to say and my dad is here. and then he would stand up and he would go like this. as if he had just won the indy v-neck. >> jimmy: the v is for victory. >> yeah. 500 or like conquered mount duh. and i wore it because of the everest. 75th of normandy, of d-day. >> jimmy: and he didn't mind the dirty jokes? that was not something that >> jimmy: oh, wow. bothered him? >> no, not at all. he was like super dirty himself. >> take a second. that's where i got it. >> jimmy: that's right. >> jimmy: that's what you want canadian troops as well. in an eslogist. >> what do you mean as well? [ laughter ] first of all, how dare you "as [ laen he w d think about like, you well"? you as well. >> jimmy: you're right. >> you as well! know, him seeing that costume at we were there early. >> jimmy: were you? the smithsonian. he would probably be outside of >> yes. that museum every day just being canada was there early and the u.s.aybe wng on our own port th like -- >> jimmy: waving people in. that's pretty great. what a great thing to think about. we knew about to get in to and it would be nice if you did send that to them also. >> oh, yeah.
convince roosevelt. i should -- >> jimmy: you probably should >> jimmy: i stand corrected. send that. [ laughter ] we mentioned you did some risque so you were toronto born and material. raised. are you a big raptors fan? was your act always like that from the very beginning? >> oh, my god. >> the rappies are my team. it was even dirtier back in the >> jimmy: the rappies -- >> i love the rappies. >> jimmy: even though had you day. moved by the time they were one of my pifirst jokes -- thiss not that dirty. there? did they come after you? but i think one miff first joof >> moved -- i mean, what are jokes i was really proud of was you -- i mean, look at this guy. you ever mix up the toothpaste with the ky jelly and wake up da, da, da -- there's like a bean counter over here. with an extra white butthole? i don't know who's moved when that was one of my first jokes. where, what. i mean, what does it matter? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's when dad would stand up? look, we're all where we're >> that's right. supposed to be. i love my rappies. he would stand up. what did i call them? rappers. >> jimmy: yeah, rappies. >> i love my rappies. [ applause ] and then my closer would be i and you know, hopefully they did would like moon the audience. well and they won tonight. and it was like a really bad joke but it was basically an we don't know. because this -- yeah, go ahead. excuse to show the audience like my gaping butthole. >> jimmy: we don't know. where did they rank -- because i i was really obsessed with know you're a maple leafs fan. i know you're a blue jays fan. butthole jokes. still am. >> sure. but they're better now. >> jimmy: you're an argonauts and it was crazy because one of the first pins r awedding. fan, right? whatever the hell an argonaut is. >> it's a boat. itashi asian-american francisco. >> jimmy: and a raptors fan. i had built this masmall cult
which team is first? >> i'm a leafs fan. following in san francisco. i always have been. and this ieshzn-american girl interested me to perform at her wedding. and she was getting married to wendell clark is my guy. >> jimmy: he's your all-time this family who thought she was favorite? >> he's my all-time favorite. very demure, who assumed she was number 17, which is my lucky very demure and passive and number because it's his jersey sweet because she was asian. number. my son, my oldest son archie, and then she basically like used was born on -- me to show them that asian women >> jimmy: there's archie. he was born on what? aren't passive or demure. >> he was born on wendell and then the grandmother was -- clark's birthday. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> which is the greatest -- i'm doing my ky jelly jokes >> jimmy: oh, wow. while they're eating their well done, archie. >> look at this. chicken breast. and the grandma, her grandmother-in-law was >> jimmy: what is this? mortified. >> jimmy: did she speak to you, the grandmother? this is one of your golf balls? >> oh, she did. >> yeah. i don't know if your camera's she told me that -- she was like high powered enough. look at that. >> jimmy: it does say 17. yeah. >> keep it. wedding. and then i collected my $50 and >> jimmy: thank you. >> give me that pen. >> jimmy: you're going to sign that for me? left. [ applause ] >> why not? >> jimmy: well, that's probably >> jimmy: i don't know if it's why people don't hire comedians going to work out. at weddings. we'll get you a sharpie. >> yeah. >> is it two ms? >> jimmy: so this movie "always >> jimmy: two ms and a y. be my maybe," this is a movie >> to jimmy. you co-wrote and co-star in with >> jimmy: did you ever meet randall park. wendell clark? >> no. >> yes.
never meet your heroes. a dear old friend. >> jimmy: is that right? >> jimmy: your dear old friend. and who you worked with on -- >> that's why i'm cooyou. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you so much. >> "fresh off the boat." i really appreciate that. i wrote "fresh off the boat" for we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] three seasons. >> jimmy: that's pretty great to start with. was it great to have that kind of relationship with him? >> i guess because we've bee wo think those scenes -- those scenes where we make out, it's like -- yeah, we had to have a lot of talks about it. >> jimmy: yeah, you did. >> and we commit -- if you watch the movie, we committed to it. >> jimmy: you did commit to it. >> yeah. and what i say by committing to it, you see his tongue go in my mouth. really. >> jimmy: was that specifically discussed beforehand? >> no. >> jimmy: whether it would go in or not. [ laughter ] because that would be really the only question, is like you got -- you see that it's in the scene. >> i have to say i haven't -- one of the things he said to me beforehand, i was like, okay, are there any like boundaries or whatever? he was like just no pulling out parts. i was like, what? to pair with a sandwich. the all-new frenchie,
you think -- i've known you for all-natural salami and capicola, hand-sliced provolone like 16 years. you think i'm -- this is a pg-13 and salted butter on a baguette. that is really good. movie. you think i'm going to reach my the frenchie - available for a limited time at jimmy john's. hand in there in front of the whole crew and grab the d out in oh, sorry. front of everybody? come on now. yeah. >> jimmy: maybe he just wanted to make sure. and keanu reeves is an unbelievably funny cameo -- well, not cameo. more than a cameo. >> oh, my god. i still can't believe he did it. and we didn't know if he was going to show up to the premiere. >> jimmy: did you have other ideas of people in case -- >> of course we did. >> jimmy: but he did show up to the premiere. >> he showed up. well, first of all, he said yes to the movie, which is still crazy and i can't believe it. and then yeah, he showed up to the premiere. and he hadn't seen any of the other scenes in the movie. because he shot with us for four ...at a price that has you,s and like...d.hmmm. the frenchie - available for a limited time at jimmy john's. days. he only shot those scenes. okay. and he hadn't seen any footage of the movie. so we didn't know how he was going to react. that'ses for less. say yes to the latest spring trends at 20 to 60 percent off and he happened to be sitting right behind me during the department store prices every day. movie. at ross. yes for less. and the whole time i could hear him go ha, ha!
ha! ha, ha, ha, ha! ha ha! that sounds disingenuine. but if you spend time with keanu that's a laugh. >> jimmy: that's uproarious for keanu. well, congratulations on all of this. the movie is called "always be my maybe v maybe." it's on netflix now. ali wong, everybody. thanks for being here, ali. we'll be right back with king calaway. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to will arnette and ali wong. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of firearm him. "nightline" is next. but first, here with the song "world for two," king calaway! ♪ ♪ sometimes i think this world's too much all the hurt all the hate all it takes is a human touch ♪
♪ it's so easy to get lost in the lie ♪ ♪ make a change make a choice all the noise we can drown it out ♪ ♪ meet me out where the stars turn blue come on touch the sky and enjoy the view ♪ ♪ so come here make it all disappear like lovers do ♪ ♪ girl for you i wish that i could build a world for two ♪ ♪ girl for you i wish that i could build a world for two ♪ ♪ ♪ kiss me like there's no one else for miles take it fast take it slow let it go for a little while ♪ ♪ heaven's so close to the both of us
for the rest of the night we can fly we can rise above ♪ ♪ meet me out where the stars turn blue come on touch the sky and enjoy the view ♪ ♪ so come here make it all disappear like lovers do ♪ ♪ girl for you i wish that i could build a world for two ♪ ♪ girl for you i wish that i could build a world for two ♪ ♪ fotwrl for you i'd build a world ♪ ♪ girl for you i'd build a world for two
i'd build a world ♪ ♪ meet me out where the stars turn blue come on touch the sky and enjoy the view ♪ ♪ so come here make it all disappear like lovers do ♪ ♪ girl for you i wish that i could build a world for two ♪ ♪ meet me out where the stars turn blue come on touch the sky and enjoy the view ♪ ♪ so come here make it all disappear like lovers do ♪ ♪ girl for you i wish that fo ♪ girl for you i wish that i could build a world [ cheers and applause ]
this is "nightline." >> tonight -- ♪ so wake me up when it's all over ♪ waking up to the iconic beats by dj powerhouse avicii. the artist's third album now released after his death. new music and interviews revealing an inside look at the demons he battled. plus, shoot for the stars. the golden state warriors winning game 5 and living to fight another battle as a new program searches for the nation's next basketball stars. coaching and molding them into great players and even greater men. but first, here are the "nightline" 5.