tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC October 16, 2019 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
that is our report. appreciate your time as >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- jennifer aniston, dave matthews, guillermo on the road to brooklyn, and music from blanco brown. and now, move over, jimmy kimmel! [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. it's very nice. please, relax, relax. [cheers and applause] i've been doing this show for many, many years, and believe it or not, there was a time before the president was a lunatic that the cable news channels had to cover other stuff. they had wall to wall coverage of weird stories, celebrity ia,
children tranned pped in wells, ten years ago yesterday, the balloon boy hoax. a man in colorado made a bogus 911 call, claiming his 6-year-old son climbed into a weather balloon and flew away. >> my 6-year-old boy, he got inside and it took off. >> where's he at? >> he's in the air. >> he's in the air? >> yeah. he's only, he's only 6. >> jimmy: turned out, the fact that the kid was only 6 was the only true part of the call. at first everyone was panicked. it made no sense. there's no way balloon like that could lift a 60-pound kid. they closed down airports in denver. the kid was in the attic. turns out his father told him to hide in the attic so he could
play dumb about the balloon stunt, get a ton of coverage and hopefully a reality show out of it. unfortunately, for richard heeny, his son spilled the beans. >> did you hear us calling us didn't? >> mm-hm. >> why didn't you come out? >> you said that we did this for a show. >> no. >> jimmy: so richard heeny held a press conference to say it wasn't a hoax. >> could you just say once and for all, was this some sort of publicity stunt? was it a hoax and will you talk to the police today? >> absolutely no hoax. i want your questions in the box, i'll get right back to you,
okay? >> jimmy: in the olden times, when the reporters had questions they'd put them in the box. he did some jail time. here to speak to us on this special occasion, the balloon boy himself, falcon heeny. how are you? >> i'm great. thanks for asking. >> jimmy: how old are you? >> i'm 16, jimmy. >> jimmy: if you don't mind my asking, why do you look >> funky fresh? this is how teens dress now. >> jimmy: where he aare you? >> i'm stuck in a balloon. i'm over denver. >> jimmy: i thought your parents made itdid, but this time it's real. here comes a cloud, ah! >> jimmy: looked like cotton
gluf gl glued to a piece of cardboard. >> i'm sorry, are you a sky scientist? >> jimmy: no. >> it's a bird, go, go, scam,sc, scam. >> jimmy: is that a boom mic? >> pay attention. hoax? it really seems like you're faking this again. >> i'm insulted you would ask that. my life is in danger here. get the hell out of here. you're in danger. this balloon can't hold us both. >> jimmy: falcon, you're quite obviously not in a balloon. i'm going to cut this a little short. >> i want yourstnsn a bo you, okay? where is my my my my my my my
chicken! >> jimmy: the president lashed out at nancy pelosi and had what nancy pelosi described as a meltdown. he had a wednesday. there's nothing left to melt. the white house claims trump was measured and factual and decisive. i don't know who to believe. >> the best 2003 pressure hway is a strong, bipartisan resolution to undo the damage he has done. >> what i witnessed on the part of the president was a meltdown. that i can say. >> jimmy: it's right there. the president is, so the president doesn't like this idea that people know he had a meltdown, so he tweeted a photo from the meeting. that's what he tweeted with the caption, nervous nancy's unhinged meltdown.
he really should be writing headlines for the inquirer. they walked out of the meeting which was supposed to be about syria. trump was upset because the house voted on syria. trump is stuck. basically he gave turkey a green light to kill the people we promised to protect. he can't reverse the decision because it would be admitting he was wrong, which he doesn't do. today he tried to do damage control. this is a letter written by trump to his strong-man buddy president erdogan. i'm not sure what this was supposed to prove other than he's crazy, but this is a real letter from the president of the united states. we did not alter this in any way. dear mr. president, let's work out a good deal, as if he's running a honda dealership or something. you don't want to be responsible
for slaughtering thousands of people, and i don't want to be responsible for destroying the turkish economy, and i will. and he goes on for a while and says history will look upon you favorably if you get this done the right and humane way. don't be a tough guy. don't be a fool. i'll call you later. sincerely, donald trump. call you later. [ applause ] so he sent that letter on october 9th. erdogan immediately sent his tanks across the border. so it was insane and and which is the art of the deal. 57 years ago the cuban missile crisis started and this letter from trump is eerily similar to a letter jfk sent khrushchev. he wrote at that premier khrushchev, don't be a [ bleep ], okay?
everybody will say, you're the best. you're really busting my nuts here. give you a jingle later. so i don't know, maybe trump is one of the greats. [ applause ] his other pen pal, kim jong un, released a new package of glamour shots. there he is, the lonely ranger. there's another one. and this beauty. you know, this is the first time, i've never thought about getting a tattoo, but i'm starting to think i might get this one. these photos are a big deal over there, because they show his people, they show the dear leader on the last uneaten horse in north korea. [ laughter ] these photos are not supposed to go public until valentine's day
until when kim jong un's releasing a romance novel. it's national boss' day. it should be called national ass-kissing day. we went out on the street and asked people to give their boss a message on television in a special boss' day edition of "hide and speak." >> it's national boss' day. tell us what you really think about your boss. >> i don't like the guy. >> why not? >> you know, they always think they know more than you, and you got to tell them, hey, listen bud, sorry, it's not that way. >> uh, i think he's a bag to be honest. >> tell me about your boss. >> i think she's a [ bleep ]. >> he doesn't pay me extra work
for extra work. >> do you get free carrots or anything. >> not at all, not at all. >> i'm tired of laughing at his unfunny jokes. i'm tired of being fake. he's not a good guy. >> i've been waiting to get this off my chest for a while. i think my boss is a [ bleep ] to be honest with you. >> i [ bleep ] hate my boss. >> how come? >> because he's fat and a bitch. >> a fat bitch? >> yeah. >> i'm tired of staring at [ bleep ] all day. >> do you want to take the mask off? >> i see you staring at my boobs every day, and honestly, in you want to touch'em, just ask. >> jimmy: i wonder if tom will be happy about that or not. next week we're going on the road to brooklyn, new york for five shows at the brooklyn academy of music. we have an incredible guest list
which includes kelly ripa, alicia keys and many, many more. and we sent guillermo on a road trip, he is making his way across the country. and tonight the guillermo-mobile is at a sandwich the primanti brothers. can you hear me? >> yes, jimmy! >> jimmy: how was the ride? >> it was good. it was only nine hours. >> jimmy: what's your favorite thing about the bus? i know you've fallen in love with that bus. >> nothing, jimmy, nothing. >> jimmy: i heard your doctor ou beforew'thatng nhitrip.nt my
now terrible. >> jimmy: where's tony? tony's the manager of the restaurant. how long have you been managing the restaurant, tone she in >> only 45 years. >> jimmy: is business typically like this? >> yes. we're a busy place. >> jimmy: show us what makes the classic primanti brothers sandwich, which i have enjoyed there myself. show us what makes it special, toni. >> it's italian bread. >> jimmy: guillermo, why are you molesting toni? >> i'm going to have guillermo eat a couple of these sandwiches. he'll lose ten pounds. >> jimmy: maybe 11. >> here we have pastrami. italian pastrami with provolone cheese. tomatoes the fries.
>> jimmy: who decided to put the fries on the sandwich. >> now he's going to take a big bite. >> jimmy: yeah, take a big bite. you have a lot of customers and the legendary singer frankie capri is there, right, guillermo? do you have a song to get the crowd going? >> yeah, we're going to sing the pittsburgh fight song! >> jimmy: guillermo, where are you headed next, guillermo, before frankie gets into the song? >> i'll be there tomorrow in philadelphia. >> jimmy: philadelphia tomorrow. i wish i was with you right now. in o of those sandwiches, will you? >> sure, one our two? >> jimmy: well, two of course. take it ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: all right, there's
frankie. >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from blanco brown. dave matthews is here. and we'll be right back with jennifer aniston. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> dicky: abc's jimmy kimmel live, brought to you by subaru. the deaf, blind, the different. subaru presents the underdogs. these shelter dogs still love unconditionally. they're just hoping to find their human, who does too. to help, subaru is establishing national make a dog's day to ask you to please consider adopting an underdog, or do something extra-special for your dog. a more rewarding target run. with deals & surprises... it's free to withyou'ls & surprises...
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tomorrow night, join us with paul rudd, lizzy caplan and music from tyler childers. >> jimmy: yesterday, our first guest joined instagram, and today, she has more than ten million new friends, some of whom are from "friends." next, she returns triumphantly to tv, apple tv, on the new series "the morning show," it premieres november 1st on apple tv+. please welcome jennifer aniston. [cheers and ♪ >> hello! >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm good. >> jimmy: you look great, and you smell fantastic, too. [cheers and applause] this instagram thing. >> it's crazy. >> jimmy: they measured it. it's a guinness book world record.
you beat prince harry and meghan markle. >> the royals. gentleman. >> jimmy: you got to a million in like 12 seconds. >> like the most reluctant person to join instagram. >> jimmy: you don't do that kind of stuff. >> i do now. >> jimmy: why are you doing it now? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: who talked you into this? >> i don't know. a lot of people. just got tired of, you know, what you resist persists. >> jimmy: it's fun to look at the stuff. >> well, i haven't. >> jimmy: you haven't? >> no, i'm just trying to build content, as they say. >> jimmy: how do you follow that picture? i have the picture right here as a matter of fact. this is, people love this, and, but how do you follow something like that? [cheers and applause] it's almost impossible. >> i'll get that framed for you. >> jimmy: wouldn't it be funny if you only posted reunion photos of you and the group from
"friends", like here they are again at my house. >> and you start to lose your followers. >> jimmy: it doesn't cost anybody anything. so i think they'll stick with you. >> i hope so. >> jimmy: you probably gained another 3 million from this conversation. what if the real big foot came out of the forest and started an instagram account, he wouldn't get this many followers. you know? it's crazy. >> well, yes. >> jimmy: you had a fake instagram account, didn't you? >> it was a stalker account, yes. when i was thinking about doing this, i sort of figured it was time to kind of understand the world and dip my toe into the social media pool. >> jimmy: you know, the young people will call it a finstigram. fake instagram.
>> you know when you get a text, and there's nothing here and you realize someone has put a heart or explanation point or a thumbs up or thumbs down on somebody's something and you're like, you really couldn't just write, like a heart, i had to search through and then you have to figure out who left that thumbs up or thumbs down. it takes more time than writing a comment. >> jimmy: you're right. in trying to save time, we're wasting a huge amount of time. >> of our time. >> jimmy: and now you're going to waste a huge amount of time looking at instagram. because you get sucked into it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, you will get sucked into it. >> you just put a curse on me, you just said "you will be sucked into it." i'm going to try to be really good about it. >> jimmy: how often do you post, have you thought about that? >> i haven't thought about that. >> jimmy: you know, you have to put up another one. >> i do. i know that. after, like yesterday, they were
like, i have to do more now, i guess. this is a big thing. >> jimmy: it's the law. >> the law. joichl and y >> jimmy: you got to do it. i watched your new show, and are you fantastic in the new show. you absolute lly are. it's "the morning show". the first big show for apple tv plus. you could bring the apple corporation down. >> down. >> jimmy: the subject matter is fantastic. it's the morning news shows. >> it's very timely. >> jimmy: these people we feel we know these people. >> you wake up with them every morning. your comfort food. they send you off in your day feeling great or not so great. >> jimmy: did you study, did you go and observe? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and soak it in? >> i did. we've been on the other side of it for so many years doing this. >> jimmy: right. >> but yes, i went and shadowed
gma. got there at 7:00 in the morning. and it is a fascinating world. it's like an engine that revs up from 5:00 to 7:00 and it's like something you -- they're like, do you need adderall? i don't need adderall. >> jimmy: did they say this is my desk. >> no, but robin roberts of course, them wy were all so gracious. and a lot of women were coming up, you got to tell them this, we can't do this, and it's almost like they're in cages going get me out of here. >> jimmy: do you feed that content to the writer on your show? >> not all of it. most of the stuff i kept for myself. >> jimmy: you internalized. so diane sawyer, you had dinner
with her. >> yes. >> jimmy: she must have told you something good. >> oh, she told me something good. >> jimmy: tell us something. >> i can't. you'll see the show. see if you can pick out a dianism. i worship her. i think she's, if ci could emulate anyone, it's her. >> jimmy: did you tell her that? >> of course. >> jimmy: did she feel uncomfortable? >> she loved it. i took instagram picture. i'm making content, baby. >> jimmy: i didn't realize you've been working on this so long. one of the interesting and fun parts of the show, and i don't want to give too much away is you're driving in to work. >> yes. >> jimmy: it's night, very early. and you see this huge, digital billboard. you're on it, your character, steve carell is on it. and you look up at it for a
second, and we don't know what's going through your head at that time. >> yes. >> jimmy: but i wonder, the first time you saw a billboard of yourself like that, do you remember? do you have any memories of that? was it "friends"? >> i would want to say "friends". but i'm not sure. i have one vivid memory of "along came polly". i was driving and making a left right by the whole foods, and it was this huge, and that was the first time i'd seen a big, big like horizontal picture of myself with my character's name in the title. i thought it was pretty cool. >> jimmy: it is pretty cool, right? it is pretty cool. and i imagine you didn't have a cell phone to take a picture of it. >> i didn't, but i have it right here. >> jimmy: right here doesn't get followers. >> no, but it goes into her. >> jimmy: when we come back
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handle this. >> put on your [ bleep ] and mean it. >> honey, listen to me. sometimes women can't ask for control, so they have to take it. >> jimmy: that is jennifer aniston in the "morning show" which premieres november 1st. most of these shows have to fake phonograe graphics. but you are right there. >> we had a guy who was a technician who was hooked up to our on-set phone. every time we would do this, itt would miraculously appear. you just think it and they type your thoughts. >> jimmy: amazing.
i'm glad you brought that up. now that you're on instagram. by the way, i have an idea for your next reunion shot. >> amazing. >> jimmy: we just talked about "along came polly." just imagine i'm ben stiller. do we have somebody with a phone? this is the ferret. >> is it "the" ferret? >> jimmy: this is the one. who is this bald man interrupting our show. this has a pass code, what am i supposed to do? >> where's our technician? >> jimmy: no, we'll just. >> there she goes. >> jimmy: do you want to hold it, jen? >> i got to get used to this, right? you got to get closer to me. i know that part. okay, one, >> jimmy: 2k3w5good. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: you have to know
emojis, if you're going to be the number one instagramer. so now it is time to play a game. what is this stupid game emo-jeopardy. that's your mode ypodium right . the goal here is, we have turned some of your projects, movies, television, into emojis, you have to look at the emojis and decode them, okay? >> okay. >> jimmy: let's put up the first emoji. we have prizes, too. what does that represent? >> friends. >> jyou're a great next emoji. >> "killing". >> jimmy: close. you're on the right mystery! >> jimmy: murder mystery is correct! >> oh, what an idiot.
>> jimmy: you're two for two. >> marley and me! >> jimmy: marley and me is correct. >> next one, this one's a little more difficult. >> oh, oh, oh, space, uh, earth, oh, god. >> jimmy: you were right at the beginning. >> space, space what comes before space? >> office space! >> i honestly couldn't see what that was without my glasses. >> jimmy: let's see another one. >> dumplin'. >> jimmy: dumplin' is correct. >> uh, cake! >> jimmy: cake is correct! you're running the table here. >> uh, heartbroken. hearts, broken hearts. >> jimmy: you were not in a movie called broken heart. >> i was not. i was in this one? >> jimmy: yes. >> the --
>> jimmy: the is correct. >> this is terrible. >> jimmy: you almost had it. the. >> the could be anything. >> jimmy: the breakup. >> the breakup! >> jimmy: and finally, what do we have here? >> oh, the morning show. >> jimmy: the morning show is absolutely correct. you're not going home, you're going home with some wonderful prizes. these are emoji pillows. please, feel free to put those in your home and maybe we'll see them in architectural digest. >> they will be. >> jimmy: jennifer aniston! "the morning show" premieres november 1st on apple tv+. we'll be right back with dave matthews. oh, man, i would love to get a massage right now. >> i could check with the entertainment director, but i'm pretty sure this cabin done have
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. ♪ >> jimmy: just yesterday, our next guest and his namesake band were nominated to be enshrined in the rock and roll hall of fame, but his real love, is board games. he has two of them, "25 outlaws" and "chickapig," both are available now. please welcome dave matthews. ♪ [cheers and applause] >> it' vy .ot i was gng here
>> jim: myo here. i had no idea you and jennifer aniston were such close friends. she was just telling me in the commercial break. you went on vacation together. >> she didn't say it live? >> jimmy: in fact she denied knowing you live. yeah. >> my family, sometimes we go, we've gone away, for instance, when we've summered on the islands. and, and, and, and jennifer, uh, uh, has been there. with us. >> jimmy: do people lose their minds when you're there with jennifer aniston? >> it's more like i'm bag of potatoes, and what's jennifer aniston doing standing next that bag of potatoes. she is, everybody everyone knows, right? >> jimmy: yeah. sure. >> every person alive. people are born already knowing
jennifer aniston. so, but we, we were staying at a house, there was a house, we were in a house, in, in, summering in the islands. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and the woman who took care of the house was, she was, she was, she wasn't, she wasn't, she wasn't always smiling. almost, in a sense, she was never smiling. so she was in the kitchen, and she was preparing, hello. she was preparing some food. and she was looking particularly stern this day. probably n probably for good reason. anyway, she was a little stern and i was trying definitely to make her smile, because i need to be liked. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and i, and then she looked out, because jennifer was outside. people, she, some friends of ours, others. and, and, she said, she stopped and she said, is that the
worldwide famous jennifer aniston? and i said oh, why, yes, it is. >> jimmy: did that put a smile on her face? >> it put a smile on her face. >> jimmy: there you go, that's what's happening. by the way, congratulations on the rock 'n roll hall of fame nomination. [cheers and applause] is that exciting to you? were you aware they were coming out that day? >> i didn't know. >> jimmy: you didn't know. >> it's not because i'm, i'm excited, it's a good feel, it's good, i'm not like waiting for it, but it feels pretty good. >> jimmy: of course. >> and in good company. you know your buddy, your buddy texted me and told me. >> jimmy: which buddy? >> jake tapper. >> jimmy: jake tapper. >> yeah, he texted me. >> jimmy: he's the one who told you it happened? >> yeah. but i thought it was pretty cool the newsman gave me the news.
>> jimmy: this game that you guys have invented. is it fair to say invented? >> my friend brian. it's not weird. this is how we met. it's not like i went and said i'm going to find a guy who makes games. he builds he guibuilt a guitar to give to jake tapper. >> jimmy: that's correct. did he come up with the idea for chick-a-big? >> he said matthew, not quite as eloquently, i was playing a game with some friends of mine, and it was the stupidest game i've ever plaid and it said like a hundred million copies sold. and he came up with his own game and brought it over and we played it, it was a really good game. i was like, what? you just made that game up as a
revenge? >> jimmy: who wins when you guys play? >> i don't care who wins but when i win it crushes him. >> jimmy: it's like being beaten up by your son. and the game is very interesting. there's oh, my god, it's the ferret. what's? >> what is that? >> jimmy: i felt the ferret didn't get the reaction i wanted earlier. so you just keep firing away. now this is the new game. and in this one, did you invent this game? it's still him. we played it on some paper scraps, and it was another good game. i was like, what's wrong with you. >> jimmy: is he constantly working on games now. >> no, now he's trying to sell it. so i came to talk to you about it to try to sell it. it's like a charity thing. >> jimmy: for brian, but you designed all the artwork, you
designed the whole deal. this is good. look at that. oh, he's fun. you have your own style, here. are these named after anyone? >> these are named after my daughter. that's lumpy joe. lumpy joe must be a friend of brian's. >> jimmy: there's slow sally. that's cool-hand lucas. >> lucas nelson. wasn't he just here? >> jimmy: he was just here last week. >> did you do that on purpose? >> jimmy: sometimes things just work out. there's buffalo johnny and old sam. is old sam based on anyone in particular? >> i'm not going to, because i'm sure old sam doesn't want to be referred to as old sam. >> jimmy: he probably thinks of himself as middle-aged sam. how do you do the drawings? on paper? a digital thing?
they look like wood carvings almost. like a print, you know? >> that's more my style. that's how i make stuff. >> jimmy: did you obsess over this? >> i did, those are playing cards. it comes with a deck of cards. >> jimmy: why is it age 17-plus? >> i have no idea. is gambling immoral? >> jimmy: yes. >> i think there's -- >> jimmy: it's like a little las vegas. >> and there's, and there's poison in it. >> jimmy: oh, there is. >> so that, i think is booze. and they don't want the kids with the booze and there's also gunfights. >> jimmy: you don't get any of that in candy land. >> although i understand that's not the best game. >> jimmy: even 2-year-olds are like, oh, my god, this is
boring. bring my some hungry hippos. congratulations. who knew you were up to this, too? dave matthews. 25 outlaws is the new game. get it at chickapig.com. and we'll return with music from blanco brown. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by the amg 4-door coupe. he's a bit more brave. ♪ oh. look. ♪
>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank jennifer aniston and dave matthews, apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, this is his album "honeysuckle and lightning bugs." here with the songs "funky tonk" and "the git up," blanco brown! ♪ i woke up cold sweating a little tipsy with a circle on my eye ♪ ♪ never knew what quite hit me but i know it came from a distance ♪ ♪ i took my feelings out of the front seat then i set em by my side somehow those son o guns got away ♪ ♪ mama always told me that if you gotta make sure then you better make sure
that you make the best ♪ ♪ of your mistakes uh and if you lead with your heart you need to be smart ♪ ♪ you gotta careful you better be looking both ways oooh ooh ♪ ♪ been sipping on that old jack loud pack that brown'll make you frown and then you jump off ♪ ♪ in the crowd and you don't hold back no slack let's party til the sun go down ♪ ♪ and make sure that you're in it ♪ ♪ don't you hope back no jack just don't get behind that wheel and party like you never did ♪ ♪ and don't you fall short be smart and party party party it's your day ♪ woo hoo♪ ♪ trailer trap ♪ right now i just need you to get real loose get comfortable ♪ ♪ grab your loved ones
or grab your love partner and if you're by yourself ♪ ♪ no worries just follow after me ♪ ♪ go'n and do the two-step then cowboy boogie grab your sweetheart and spin out with 'em ♪ ♪ do the hoedown and get into it woo hoo hoo ♪ ♪ take it to the left now and dip with it go'n throw down take a sip with it ♪ ♪ now lean back put your hips in it woo hoo hoo let's have some fun ♪ ♪ to the left to the left now to the right to the right ♪ ♪ now take your left hand and put it on your side ♪ ♪ go'n roll your shoulders do the slip and slide ♪ ♪ this next part's my favorite part uh because it's time to shine ♪ ♪ go'n and do the two-step then cowboy boogie grab your sweetheart and spin out with 'em ♪ ♪ do the hoedown and get into it woo hoo hoo ♪ ♪ take it to the left now and dip with it go'n throw down take a sip with it ♪
♪ now lean back put your hips in it woo hoo hoo it's simple you can do it ♪ ♪ slide to the left slide to the right now cool down have a good time ♪ ♪ slide to the left slide to the right do the butterfly have a good time ♪ ♪ round and around round and around round and round you go ♪ ♪ it's time to show out right now and take to the floor ♪ ♪ go'n and do the two-step then cowboy boogie grab your sweetheart and spin out with 'em ♪ ♪ do the hoedown and get into it ♪ woo hoo hoo ♪ take it to the left now and dip with it go'n throw down take a sip with it ♪ ♪ now lean back put your hips in it woo hoo hoo ♪ >> thank y'all so much! [cheers and applause]
this i s "nightline." tonight, dissent into chaos on the front lines of the syrian border. the desperate cries for help. now the devastating human toll of the turkish onslaught on the people. and after a warrior falls, one family's promise to keep fighting. plus, first wives club. revenge gets a reboot. the cult classic comedy, coming alive again. now new leading ladies, leading the way with a little help from their friends. >> it's people who lift you up th n keep closest to you. >> put it on a magnet. this one, i can't, but