tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC August 14, 2020 11:35pm-12:06am PDT
guest host, sarah cooper with ben stiller. see you monday. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live," with guest host, sarah cooper. tonight, ben stiller, plus music from holly humberstone. and now, sarah cooper. >> hi, i'm sarah cooper and i have an announcement to make. i am not going to be the next vice president of the united states. it was down to me and kamala, but joe wanted to go with someone who has experience. but the good news is, i now have the night free to guest host this show. if you don't know who i am, that's okay, i don't know who you are either, so we're even. basically, i'm the reason your grandpa downloaded tiktok. but don't blame me. blame my nephews ryan and tyler. if they hadn't shown me tiktok, i never would've started lip-syncing a certain stable genius. >> because he hasn't taken any cognitive test because he couldn't take one. i took one very recently when i was, the radical left was
saying, is he all there, is he all there? and i proved i was all there because i aced it. i aced the test. >> and they said a female president would be too emotional. "once a month she'll go crazy", they said. could you imagine? a president who only goes crazy once a month? but without a crazy president i wouldn't be here so thanks trump -- tower moscow. this year has nsy ienat'se.an . this year has been presidential. i started this year doing a late night set at a pizza place in jersey city. now, here i am hosting a late night show in a vacant house. actually, the number of people in the audience is exactly the same. i've never hosted a late night show before so i did a little research and i figured out the 3 things i can do to look like a late night tv host. number one, the point. number two, the hand clasp. number three, the look i'm
explaining something. who's ready for a deep dive on voter suppression? i'm also excited because for the first time ever, i have my very own sidekick. guillermo, how are you? >> guillermo: i'm doing good, sarah. >> so tell me. how does jimmy usually relax before the show? >> guillermo: i think he cry for a minute. >> oh great! i do that every day! i've come a long way to be here tonight. emotionally and geographically. i was born in jamaica. my whole family is jamaican and they always give me a hard time for being the least jamaican member of the family, but i think it's their fault for naming me sarah. "sarah cooper" sounds like a character on the oc who was written out in season two and it's like she moved into my body and gentrified my whole personality. when i was little my mom would cook this amazing jamaican food and i'd be like, "mom this jerk" and she'd say "sarah you know there are children around the world, all they get for dinner
is bread and water." and i'd be like, "that actually sounds really good. if i could get a scone and a d e amazing." when i ran that joke by my mom she said, "sarah why you make me sound like i'm from barbados?" still working on that accent. one stereotype about jamaicans is that we all smoke weed and i do sometimes smoke weed, but only because it was recommended to me as a stress reliever by gwyneth paltrow. before doing comedy, i used to work at google. that's where my ted talk vibe comes from. people always ask me if it was fun to work at google and it was fun. i knew it was fun because they kept telling me how much fun i should have each quarter or else i would be fired. they had fun names for everybody. like the older googlers are called greyglers, and the new googlers are called nooglers. they had some trouble coming up with a name for the black googlers, though, so finally they decided to just call them david and shawn. they didn't realize i was black. i think they thought i was indian because they kept
promoting me. i ran that joke by my dad and he said sarah you are indian, you're from the west indies! i sounded german that time didn't i? okay i'll stop. i heard this rumor that the software engineers at google are so proud of working there that they have sex with their badges on. that's a joke. they don't have sex. my husband hates that joke. because he's a software engineer at google. and now he's married so he's really not having any sex. i met my husband at work. he kept asking me out and i kept saying no, but then he said he had tickets to see louis ck who was my favorite comedian at the time. and i couldn't say no to that. no one can say no to louis ck, that's kind of his brand. like many of you my husband and i have been working from home over the past few months. he's on video conference calls all day and we're all in a lot of meetings so i thought i'd give you all some of my favorite tricks to look smart in meetings. like one of the tricks is to translate percentages into fractions. if someone says 25% of our
customers bought this shirt. you can say, oh about one in four. and make a little note of it. and people will be super impressed with your quick math skills. another one is just to ask, will this scale? no matter what it is just ask if it's going to scale. no one even knows what that means. but it's a great catch all question and it definitely makes you look smart. but my favorite trick is just to ask the presenter to go back one slide. so if someone's giving a presentation, just stop them and go, i'm sorry can you go back a slide. at that moment all your coworkers will think you're going to brilliantly point out something on that slide that they all missed, but you can kinda just look at the slide for a few moments then, go, okay we can move on. total power move. you know donald trump uses that trick all the time. he does. i've gotten deep inside donald trump's head. and let me tell you, it's lonely in there. it's just me and a person, woman, man, camera, tv. and a bucket of chicken. but you know what i'm sick of
talking about trump, part of the reason i was so excited to guest host tonight is because i wanted to show everyone that i'm more than my trump impressions. so, i asked my followers to send in some questions about the real me. let's take a look. >> hey, sarah, i love your trump impressions, but do you ever feel like you're starting to become more like him? >> what a stupid question that is. what a stupid question. you ask a lot of stupid questions. go ahead, next question. >> hey, sarah, how many new followers have you gotten sense your trump impressions went viral? >> i have so many followers. you know, i have five different platforms. you add it all up and it's like over a hundred and fifty million people, that's a tremendous amount of people. thank you. >> so, if trump loses in november, are you still going to be doing impressions of him? >> maybe that's a question you should ask china. don't ask me, ask china that question, okay? when you ask them that question you may get an unusual answer. yes behind you please. >> hey, sarah, it was my
birthday on sunday, i was wondering if you could wish me happy birthday. you can do it as yourself. you don't have to do it as trump. >> earlier this week i understand you marked another important milestone, i know everyone here joins me in wishing you a very happy birthday. happy birthday. >> hey, sarah, congratulations on hosting "jimmy kimmel live." i was wondering, have you ever met jimmy? and if so, what's he like? >> jimmy kimmel. no talent. two or three times i did his show before this all, now i wouldn't do his show that guy's terrible. >> oh, but aren't you doing his rybody knew being sarcastic and joking. when i first got to know jim, i said uh, he never wears a jacket. he's obviously very proud of his body. there he is. look at that guy. you're the champ, you're the best.
you're and you can help make it happen. stay 6 feet apart. wash your hands. wear a mask every time you leave your home. choose to join the fight against covid-19. do your part. slow the spread. ♪ >> welcome back to jimmy kimmel live. i'm sarah cooper. tonight on the show, she's apple music's up next artist and her ep, falling asleep at the wheel, comes out this friday, holly humberstone is here. tomorrow i'll be back to making internet videos in my basement, just kidding i don't have a basement.t we andery hi cheekbones will be hosting the rest of the week. so come back for him. the research team here tells me
that long before tiktok became the primary narrative form on the planet, there was apparently something called "movies", and my first guest is very, very good at them. and he still has lots of followers. i'm delighted to have him here tonight. please welcome the great ben stiller. >> hi there. >> hi. >> how are you? >> how's it going? i'm good. >> i'm impressed. you're behind a desk. everybody's at home. i feel like these shows haven't been real. i have nothing to promote. i haven't been doing anything for months, but you're behind a desk in a real studio in l.a., which is really impressive. >> i'm actually in l.a. they took me out of new york where things are pretty good into a hot spot. >> that's great. there are no desks in new york. there's a huge desk shortage right now. how exciting is it, it's exciting for me to see you hosting the show. >> it's really exciting. i mean, you are my first guest
ever, and it's just amazing to have you. >> i'm honored, and i think for a lot of people watching, it's the first time they're hearing your voice. >> yeah, they expect to hear a brash, very masculine voice coming out of this face. >> your voice is much more melodious and soothing and not divisive. >> thank you very much. i hear you are a fan of my tik toks? >> i am. before the tik toks, i did do movies. but i don't even understand what tik tok is, other than it's a medium in which images are put out into the world. >> have you thought been giving it a try? >> i think i could, you know, i would give it a shot sometime just to, you know. >> why don't you give it a shot? >> all right, i'll give it a shot. have you got some trump audio? >> yeah, we found something you could try maybe for our audience.
>> bing, bing, bong, bong, bing bing. you know what that is, right? >> okay. >> yeah. >> i do know what that is. what is that? what am i thinking there? >> i think it's kind of fun. i think it's kind of, you're talking about the economy, and then like a social justice, really? that's kind of what's going on in that clip. so through those bings and those bongs, that's what you're trying to emote. it's like a silent film. you're charlie chaplin. >> okay. who's that? >> this guy. >> go for it. >> bing, bing, bong, bong, you know what that is, right? >> i don't know if i'm nailing it. i feel like you have a special talent. you give him so much more actual weight to what you're saying, you're actually thinking, because you do have a sub text, and i feel like he doesn't have a sub text.
>> right, he doesn't have a sub text, but it's kind of fun like when he sounds angry, sometimes it's out of fear, because he doesn't actually know what he's talking about. or maybe's confused, so i like to bring that to the surface sometimes. i think it's also interesting to see his words coming out of someone else's face. >> it is, and your face has been very therapeutic for the nation. >> thank you so much. i hear you've been quarantining with two teenaged kids. >> yes, it's been, when it started, i had no gray hair. that's how long it's been going on. and it's been a very, it's been a great experience. for a lot of people, for families, it's been a great experience, where you're spending so much more time together, and the flip side is you're spending so much time together and it gets a little insane sometimes. we've been doing well as a family. we've been watching a lot of movies, which i think people have been doing, if you're into movies.
it's been fun for me to have a chance to show them movies that they haven't seen that i've been wanting to show them. and for me, also seeing movies i'd never saw, because i'd missed some big ones along the way. >> nice. >> like "sound of music." "west side story." >> you'd never seen "sound of music"? >> "sound of music" i'd never seen. i knew it was julie andrews on top of a mountain, singing, and there were so many nazis. >> there were so many nazis. >> and they got away from them. >> have you had a chance to show your kids some of your movies? >> it's gotten down to that. i've never been the one to like, hey, look at this. i've been wanting them to want to see them. and i think the quarantine is, there's basically no other options. so we all watched, my son
finally saw "tropic thunder", and he's 15. so that was, that was a little bit, i was a little nervous, but he seemed to really like it, which i was happy about. >> that's one of my favorite films ever. so i wanted to ask you about your work with the u.n. and refugees. i know that's something that's really important to you, and, you know, a lot of times people feel helpless with so much going on in the world and, like, what can i do? how can i help? so i would love to hear more about your work with them and what your priorities are there. >> yeah, i've been a goodwill ambassador with the u.n. refugee agency which is helping displaced people all over the world, and there are probably almost 80 million all over the world, people who have been driven from their homes due to war or circumstances beyond their control. so right now, with what's going on with everybody at home, it's so tough. but for these refugees and
people who aren't able to sometimes social distance or have access to clean water and soap, it's a particularly vulnerable time. so the u.n. agency is working to get help to those people. it's always challenging. right now there's that explosion in beirut and a lot of need there right now. and i visited places like that where you just meet people who really, besides being from a different culture, they're similar to you and i in that they have families, they want to work, they want to be with their kids and have a good life. in that way, they also ultimately want to go home. and they can't. so i think it's more about awareness and people just sort of opening up their mind to the idea, you know, refugees are human beings and they also are so additive to communities, and i think you guys have a link for, if people want to get in touch and donate to it.
just in your attitude towards people, that's the biggest thing, just being open to it. right now when there's a time with a lot of divisive rhetoric, i think it's important to hear that message. >> yeah, i agree. and your work highlights that we're all connected. if we can help them, that helps us, too. so i appreciate you and i appreciate your time and everything that you're doing, and i wish i could talk to you for another hour, but maybe some other time. when we come back, music from holly humberstone ♪
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♪ >> welcome back to jimmy kimmel live. i'm sarah cooper. her ep is called falling asleep at the wheel. here with the song "overkill" from the hood of her dad's car, holly humberstone. ♪ a couple more tequilas and i'll tell you how i'm feeling don't wanna ♪ ♪ kill your evening don't wanna be a buzz kill if i'm coming on strong i'm spending all my money ♪ ♪ yeah yeah going up and down the country just to leave you on a monday?morning ♪ ♪ same old story here we go again maybe this time i'll say
something ♪ ♪ something a little wild out loud maybe this time i'll say something ♪ ♪ i've been feeling for a while out loud we're running out of moonlight ♪ ♪ just tryna use the time right does it have to be a big deal babe however you feel ♪ ♪ no i won't make fuss no i won't cause a scene and my heart keeps racing racing ♪ ♪ still i'm over being overkill and you don't have to say it back ♪ ♪ i just wanna know where your head's at maybe this time i'll say something ♪ ♪ something a little wild out loud maybe this time i'll say something ♪
♪ i've been feeling for a while out loud and i'll wait for my moment hope you say ♪ ♪ what i'm hoping get it out in the open hope you say what i'm hoping ♪ ♪ maybe this time i'll say something something a little wild out loud maybe this time ♪ ♪ i'll say something i've been feeling for a while out loud and i'll wait ♪ ♪ for my moment hope you say what i'm hoping get it out in the open ♪ ♪ hope you say what i'm hoping
and my heart keeps racing racing still ♪ ♪ and i'm over being overkill and my heart keeps racing racing still ♪ ♪ guess i'm over being overkill ♪ ♪ ♪ hower u ♪ with this one little nexgard chew comes the confidence, you're doing what's right, to protect your dog from fleas and ticks for a full month. and it's the only chew, fda approved to prevent infections
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goodnight. tonight, two young warriors in the fight of their lives against covid-19, on ventilators for weeks. >> i never thought it would be possible that your whole skin just hurts. anywhere on your body. >> a young husband, fit and healthy, waking up to hope and hurdles. now facing lasting impacts of the virus. >> it's like having constant pins and needles in my arms and tingling in my thighs. >> and a father, his will to live, inspired by his family. the long road to recovery for the fighters. there was real fear that you would have permanent scarring in your lungs. >> a special edition of "nightline" tar "nightli