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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  November 16, 2021 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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am dan ashley. on jimmy kimmel live, kirsten dunst. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- kirsten dunst, wilmer valderrama, kevin garnett, and music from gracie abrams. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. hi, everybody. i appreciate it, thank you. thank you. hi, i'm jimmy, thanks. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. it's a busy night in a busy month. i feel like i have a million things to do right now. i'm buying christmas gifts. i got something special for you, guillermo. >> guillermo: okay. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: not going to tell you what it is, though. >> guillermo: okay. >> jimmy: i'll give you a hint. it rhymes with -- "shmapple shmatch." >> guillermo: apple scotch? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: close enough, yeah. this year seems more normal than last. you're going to like this. united airlines, for the first time since the start of the pandemic, has resumed the sale of liquor on their flights. it's all part of their plan -- [ applause ] -- to ensure every passenger has a chance to get duct-taped to his or her seat. [ laughter ] united said they're doing this -- "in response to the feedback we've received from both customers and flight attendants." does this mean flight attendants want to get drunk on the plane too? [ laughter ] the timing is kind of strange. outbursts are at an all-time high. this is like finding out your passengers are getting too fat, so you install one of those nacho cheese pumps at the back of every seat. [ laughter ] here in los angeles, the plastic knives are out. as of yesterday, local restaurants will no longer hand
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out plastic utensils and napkins with your food. that's right. l.a. officially has no forks left to give. [ laughter ] from now on, you'll have to specifically request plastic sporks if you want them. i like that. every time i order food, i get 12 little bas of plastic forks and knifes i don't ever use, i stuff them in a drawer that now explodes every time i open it. [ laughter ] i'm planning to leave them to my grandchildren one day. [ laughter ] former new jersey governor chris christie is busy on a "yeah, i knew trump told lies, but all politicians tell lies, and even though trump told a thousand times more than all of them combined, the fact that i buddied up to him is okay because lies are as american as apple pies" image rehabilitation tour. [ laughter ] last night, he sat for a lengthy interview with dana bash of cnn at which he revealed that birthdays might not be his favorite time of the year. >> when you're leaving office, when you're governor, you get
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all kinds of gifts that get cataloged and put in a room in the statehouse. eight years, you've got eight years of gifts what do i do with them? do you know what the single biggest category of gifts was i got in my eight years? books about weight. [ laughter ] >> what? >> yeah. >> jimmy: well. [ laughter ] i'm sure all the governors get those. what a thoughtful gift. so then, he's doing this interview and talking about his weight and people making fun of him and then the subject turns to covid but the commercial that follows the interview does not. we did nothing to alter this. this is exactly how it happened last night on cnn. coming up, the mistake that almost cost chris christie his life. house. got covid at the white - you thought it was a safe zone? >> uh-huh. i was wrong, yeah. i was wrong. [ laughter ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know. no, i don't know about the corral, but that was golden for sure. [ laughter ] sometimes things just work out. i mentioned last night, there's another new book about our "all you can tweet" former president written by jonathan karl of abc news who says things got so bad in the white house after the riot on january 6th, two top members of trump's cabinet, secretary of state mike pompeo and treasury secretary steve mnuchin, explored invoking the 25th amendment to remove trump from office. you know things are going south when even mike pompeo considers doing the right thing. [ laughter ] pompeo reportedly asked for an analysis of the 25th amendment and how it would work. he was very careful about it. he went to the white house legal department and he was like, "hey, i have this friend." [ laughter ] "you don't know him. anyway, he was thinking about invoking the 25th amendment.
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he was just wondering, you know, how that all worked -- like, would his name be on that if he did?" [ laughter ] the book is called "betrayal" it is one of many about trump's tiny-handed tyranny. [ laughter ] it's time to add this to the trump tower of tell-all books. [ applause ] guillermo, if you would do the honors, i would appreciate that. there you go. book number -- oh! 58. >> guillermo: there you have it. >> jimmy: all right, close the -- >> guillermo: all right, let me -- >> jimmy: all right. [ applause ] remember? i don't know if you remember. about two weeks ago, i told you all those q-anoners were in dallas waiting for jfk and jfr jr. to return to life so they would somehow usher in the second coming of trump. [ laughter ] would you believe me if i told you they're still there and [ laughter ]g?- they are. this was the scene in dealey plaza last night.
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♪ we are the world we are the children ♪ ♪ we are the ones who seek a brighter day so let's start giving ♪ >> jimmy: all right, who wants to do the steve perry part? [ laughter ] now, if you're not familiar with how the prophecy goes, q-anon supporters believe that every year on the second night of november, jfk rises up from the pumpkin patch and delivers horse wormer to all the true american patriots. [ laughter ] i don't know. if jfk did plan on showing up, why would he choose to come back to the place where he was assassinated? [ laughter ] that's the last place i would visit. it's almost like it makes no sense. [ laughter ] the q-anut responsible for this chaos is a guy named michael brian protzman. now before i show you his photo, i want you to imagine what someone who believes the kennedys are gonna rise from the dead to reinstall donald trump who they would hate, by the way, would look like. ready? okay. let's see that photo. yep. [ laughter ] that's the guy, that's exactly
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right. [ applause ] that's the man. it's like when you get leftovers and they wrap the foil up into an animal shape. so these guys have been staying at the hyatt in dallas for the past two weeks, waiting for jfk. some of them have even been raising money for suits and ball gowns to wear, i guess presumably at some kind of "welcome back" soiree. fortunately, we've been able to make contact with one of them. a very nice woman named britanee, who is joining us now from the landmark ballroom at the hyatt regency in dallas. [ cheers and applause ] hi, brittanee. it's jimmy kimmel. thanks for being with us tonight. >> it's brittaneeeee. the first "e" is silent, but the second and third ones are loud. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, brittaneeeee. what is that you're wearing? >> this is my cabal gown. >> jimmy: your ball gown? >> ca-bal. as in the inaugural cabal for president donald trump and vice president john f. kennedy jr. that's why we're here.
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>> jimmy: okay, but you guys said he was supposed to show up on november 2nd. that was two weeks ago. november 2nd has come and gone. >> no, it hasn't. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it hasn't? >> no, you're obviously not looking at the right calendar. you should be using the julius calendar. not the roman calendar. today is actually november 3rd in julius time. >> jimmy: that's an orange julius calendar. [ laughter ] by the way, even if it was november 3rd, he's still -- i mean, late, he's still late. [ laughter ] >> well, we've all been late before! have you not ever been late? is that what you're telling me? >> jimmy: yes, i have been late, i will admit that. >> thank you. >> jimmy: now your leader, michael brian protzman. >> yeah, mbp, uh-huh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: mbp. he's the one making these insane things up, right? >> they're only insane if you don't understand math. everything is right there in the numbers, right? >> jimmy: no. >> let me give you an example, okay? >> jimmy: yes, all right.
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>> your name is jimmy, right? j-i-m-m-y. that's five letters. okay? your last name is kimbel. k-i-m-b-e-l. that's six letters. >> jimmy: uh, yeah -- >> five plus six equals 11. so that means you owe me 11 dollars. you can send it to my venmo @futuremrsjfkjr. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: do not send money -- we're not sending you money, britaineee, i'm sorry. we're not going to send money to your address there. >> wow. okay. well, why don't you tell that to my child? adrenochrome, sweetie, come here. >> jimmy: what's -- >> james corden wants to say something to you. >> jimmy: you brought your child to this? >> i'm going to meet my new dad november 2nd! >> adrenochrome! oh my god. he was not supposed to say -- that was supposed to be our little secret. go sing "we are the world" with your sister. and make me believe it this time! >> jimmy: what is adrenaphobe talking about?
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>> um -- okay. well, i haven't told anybody this because i know some people will be super jealous -- but i'm actually dating jfk jr. uh-huh! >> jimmy: you're dating jfk jr.? >> i know. he's so hot! we don't get to talk a lot because -- >> jimmy: because he's not alive? [ laughter ] >> no, because he can't use the same phone twice or else bill gates will know where he is. okay? [ laughter ] so he calls me from different numbers every day. it's really sweet. >> jimmy: that sounds very sweet. brittanee, there's no way you're dating jfk jr. >> and why is that, jimmy? because he "died" in a "plane crash?" >> jimmy: yes. that's exactly the reason why, yeah. that's like the top reason. >> i swear, liberals are all about being open-minded until you tell them you're dating jfk jr., then they're all, "oh, no, you can't be, he's dead!" phone ringing ] oh, look who it is. hello? >> have you or a loved one been injured by farming equipment?
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>> baby, i was just talking about you! [ laughter ] >> press 1 for a representative. >> jimmy: is that jfk jr.? >> don't say that, or else he'll hear you. >> jimmy: okay, britaineee, i'm going to let you chat. >> adrenaphobe! daddy's on the phone! >> dad? hello? >> jimmy: please. say a prayer tonight for the staff at the hyatt hotel in dallas, texas. [ laughter ] speaking of low i.q. adults. it was "bachelorette" night here on abc. it's getting serious, we're down to our final brandon. [ laughter ] for a show about people who want to get married, the guys on this show are very childis. nonstop, every season. they whine, they cry, they don't share. so once again, we thought it would be fun to replace the voices of the bachelorette and her suitors with those of actual children. >> today was one of my favorite days. >> wait, ever? >> uh-huh. >> really? >> uh-huh.
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>> hey, can i please speak with you for one moment? >> uh -- >> just one moment. it's important. >> okay. um -- i'll be back. >> ha ha ha, what? >> i came to say that -- i warned you. and i don't want you to make the wrong decision. >> i'm empowered when i can speak for myself. i want a man who's going to stand and support me when i speak and not a man who's going to speak for me. so i do need to walk you out. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> wah, wah! >> i'm very crazy about nate.
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fireworks! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: can't wait to see what happens next week. every now and then, i like to take a step back, behind a bar to ponder life's bigger mysteries, preferably with a strong drink and an even stronger celebrity and with that said, it's time for "three ridiculous questions with hall-of-famer kevin garnett." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: seedless grapes. >> how do they do it? good question. >> jimmy: how can you grow something that doesn't have seeds? wouldn't you just do it once and that would be the end of it? >> i know. they don't have any seeds in them. have you had cotton candy grapes? >> jimmy: cotton candy grapes? >> that's a thing. >> jimmy: i've not. are they good? >> very good, they taste like
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cotton candy. >> jimmy: yeah. have you ever used the word "scrumptious"? >> oh -- what is scrumptious? >> jimmy: it's like delicious, you know? >> mm, give me an example. what's scrumptious? what food is scrumptious? >> jimmy: a croissant filled with chocolate maybe would be scrumptious. >> i've never used the word scrumptious. >> jimmy: what is the most complicated medical procedure you would allow a monkey to perform on you? [ laughter ] >> hm. i'd probably have a moonky cut my fingernails. >> jimmy: oh, you'd let a monkey operate a nail clipper near your fingertips? >> yeah, and it would be first -- it would choose -- >> jimmy: you'd let him try one? >> try one, maybe my thumb. >> jimmy: thumb? >> yes. >> jimmy: i would go pinky. [ laughter ] >> no, the pinky is very necessary. >> jimmy: why? >> the pinky is, believe it or
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not -- have you ever gripped something -- >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] i never have. the weirdest thing. watch this. i can't get this class. >> we'll toast. >> jimmy: boy, i wish i could have some of this but my pinkies don't work. >> see, see? they're the thumbs that help. >> crown royal. the answer to all of life's ridiculous questions. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. we have to take a break. but when we come back, we're going to try to identify, strange items we found on the internet, so stick around.
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kirsten dunst, wilmer valderrama and music from gracie abrams are coming up. but first, here's something that somebody showed me recently. it's a thread on reddit called "what this is thing?" which exists "for the identification of mysterious objects." people post photos of an unidentified thing, and ask the hive mind of the internet to help them figure out what it is. i like this sort of thing so we took some of the objects from reddit and asked folks on hollywood boulevard if they could help us identify them. [ laughter ] it's time to play "what is this thing?" let's see what people say. >> what is this thing? >> um -- neti boi pot. >> i feel i could balance a ball if i could blow air in it, a magic [ bleep ]. >> could be like an enema. if you have it in the dark side, fill it with water there. that's the only thing i can think of. >> looks like a bong to me, am i allowed to say that? >> jimmy: wait a minute, a better question might be who is that shirtless man?
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there you go. that's hollywood for you right there. probably chasing the guy who took his shirt or something. [ laughter ] back to the thing. we had some solid responses. one of them is correct. what is this thing? a neti pot, a magic trick thing, an enema, or a bong? of course, everyone says "bong." and the answer is? >> you're absolutely right, it's an antique neti pot. >> i was thinking, where could that possibly go? >> jimmy: it goes in your ear? in your nose? all right. let's see what we have next. >> what is this thing? >> that's like a soap dispenser. >> a urine sample. >> maybe a jell-o shot injector? >> date rape drug. what the hell? i mean, it's a little syringe, you know, you just walk by somebody's drink, that's why i take my drink with me everywhere i go because of this [ bleep ] right here, thank you. >> jimmy: all right, okay, interesting. what do you think? soap dispenser, urine sample,
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jell-o shot injector, date rape drug? soap soap dispenser? >> it's anti-wrinkle eye creek. >> probably [ bleep ] your face up, it's orange. i mean, i don't use stuff like that, i'm sorry. if i'm going to wrinkle, i'm just going to damn wrinkle, i don't care. it's my time to wrinkle. i don't need any anti-aging [ bleep ], i'm sorry. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: right? we got that one wrong. maybe we'll do better this time. let's see what people on the street think. >> what is this thing? >> i'm wondering if that's maybe a cheese grater? it's got this metal thing on top. >> uh-huh? >> and you could take your cheese and go like that. and then maybe this is where the cheese comes out and you sprinkle it on your salad. >> so that is an old depression-era kazoo. >> this looks like something i've seen where you get like a queen bee shipped to you. >> maybe like a penis holder. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right.
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what does our audience think? cheese grater, depression-era kazoo, queen bee holder, a holder of penises? let's find out. all right, we do not have a consensus here. >> that is a box for transporting a queen bee. >> is that what it is? >> i never thought anybody would get this one, good job. [ applause ] why do you know that? >> one night i was up in the late hours of the morning and i was on youtube. i found beekeeping videos. i watched beekeeping videos for, i don't know, three hours. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a hell of a pull right there. let's look at the next one. i know what this is. >> what is this thing? >> looks like my kitchen drain. >> is it like a showerhead? >> as for me, looks like a maze for little rats. >> it looks le a grinder. >> for what? >> um -- marijuana. >> jimmy: all right.
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so is it a kitchen drain, a showerhead, a maze for little rats, or a weed grinder? everyone says grinder. let's see what the street says. >> you are right. it is a weed grinder. [ applause ] you know what made me think you might know this one? because you spent three hours watching beekeeping videos. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right, last one is this. looks kind of coughny related to me. let's find out what hollywood boulevard thinks. >> what is this thing? >> i mean, that looks exactly like an old-school pencil sharpener. >> a hair dryer. >> is it a can opener? >> a microphone? >> jimmy: is it a pencil sharpener, a hair dryer, a can opener, a microphone? a pencil sharpener, our audience says. >> it is a vibrator from the 1920s. >> eww!
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it was hard times back then, wasn't it? like, all right. where you put this [ bleep ]? >> jimmy: wherever grandpa canned find it, i guess. all right. [ applause ] thanks for playing "what is this thing?" be right back with kirsten dunst! ♪ best of my love by black pumas feat. sofia reyes ♪ at target, shopping has never been easier — use same day delivery, free order pickup,
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bear valderrama is with us. then later, she is an exceptionally talented singer-songwriter from here in l.a. her brand new project is titled "this is what it feels like." music from gracie abrams on the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, our guests are michael keaton and john wilson, from "how to with john wilson" with music from the war on drugs. and on thursday, nick offerman, and alessia cara. please join us for that. our first guest is an emmy-nominated person who started acting as soon as she was potty-trained. now she's an oscar-buzzee for her role in "the power of the dog." >> one two three slide, hm, hm, hm -- what is it, george?
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>> i just -- i wanted to say how nice it is not to be alone. >> jimmy: "the power of the dog" is in select theaters tomorrow and on netflix starting december 1st. please welcome kirsten dunst! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm good. i've been sleep training a 7-month-old, so i had a crying baby. >> jimmy: oh, boy. how many days into that are you? >> he was so good, then last night it was [ bleep ] hit the fan. it was just like -- i was sleeping a half hour in between shoving a pacifier in his mouth. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i heard he's a very big kid. >> very big, we call him "big
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kahuna." [ laughter ] he's like 22 pounds. like for a 7-month-old? >> jimmy: that's crazy. >> my wrist is killing me. [ laughter ] you're like this all day. i try to straighten my back. because all he wants to do is bounce, walk, be like his brother, walk around. he just wants to walk and run, he doesn't even know what crawling is. >> jimmy: i know, people -- even parents who are a little bit removed from having a little baby don't realize that 22 pounds for a 7-month-old -- i think my 4 1/2-year-old is about 30 pounds. >> same with my 3-year-old. >> jimmy: you brought a picture of your son? [ laughter ] [ applause ] he's adorable, i love the neck wear. >> oh my god. >> jimmy: we saw in the clip your fiance, jesse plemons, almost like we got a glimpse into your romantic life there. >> that's exactly what it's like. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's terrific, i assume you agree. >> he's my favorite actor. [ laughter ]
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i've made children with him, so i really, really like him a lot. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all important things. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're playing a husband and wife for the second time, right? >> we are, yeah. on "fargo," we weren't together on "fargo." we kind of fell in love creatively first, just as actors. >> jimmy: you guys were great on "fargo." >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: boy, that was one of the best -- best seasons of any tv show ever. and so it's kind of odd. you're not married yet, but you have been married on tv and in movies? >> i just kept getting pregnant, and i kind of want to enjoy my wedding. [ laughter ] i want to be able to drink and have fun. >> i understand. >> we'll do it very soon, i just -- yeah. >> jimmy: you are now, as i mentioned in your introduction, being talked about -- this movie is a top oscar contender and you are as well. is that something you are aware of and that you follow? >> i mean -- i don't follow. because i think that's bad to do for your brain. and like also, it's -- it's nerve-racking and exciting. so it's like, it would be
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awesome, but you don't want to get your hopes up. so there is -- my girlfriends and i, instead of talking about like anything like that, instead of like, oh, the academy awards. we call any awards "shrimps." so it would be like, wow, you deserve a shrimp for that. [ laughter ] instead of saying awards, we use the word "shrimp." >> jimmy: really? >> just to debunk what it is. it's just a word. >> jimmy: fellow actors? >> these are my friends, lauren and kate, they do riodarte, which is a clothing line. we came up with that phrase to take out the, you know -- the nervousness around something. >> jimmy: i don't know, sometimes i get pretty excited about shrimp. [ laughter ] >> no, i love shrimp. >> jimmy: no offense to shrimp, of course. >> shrimp emojis, we saw this movie, a lot of shrimp, you know. >> jimmy: uh-huh, isn't shrimp emoji a euphemism? >> i don't know, for what? >> jimmy: i don't know, maybe i made that up.
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[ laughter ] >> it was just us, then jane campion spilled the beans. that is kind of secret. >> jimmy: speaking of secrets, there's a video that made the rounds on the internet yesterday. you talking to nicole kidman. do you know about this? >> what did i do? >> jimmy: you and nicole kidman having a conversation, let's look at it together. >> i didn't know that. >> oh my god, nicole! >> that's awesome to know. >> i know. >> jimmy: you didn't know that was a thing? >> no, i sound like such a valley girl. "oh my god, nicole, that's so awesome!" [ laughter and applause ] that's what i sound like, right. >> jimmy: the question is, what was it that she told you -- >> i don't know. >> jimmy: -- that got that reaction? is that when she said, "i use used to be married to tom cruise"? [ laughter ] >> i actually met nicole on the set of "interview with a vampire" because obviously i worked with tom. >> jimmy: so you did know that, so that wasn't it. >> i've known nicole forever. i don't know what she told me. with -- i don't know.ut working-
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nicole -- i think jane campion picked her out of drama school or something. i think she was in jane campion's first short film. >> jimmy: oh. >> so that's garnered -- "oh my god, nicole, that's so awesome to know!" [ laughter ] kill me now. >> jimmy: it's funny that all the things that you do as an actor or whatever, just seeing a quick video of yourself interacting with another human being is embarrassing. >> a very famous other human being, yeah. i mean, i don't -- yeah. >> jimmy: when you and -- you met on the set of "fargo." were you familiar with his work at that time? >> not totally. i just knew he was awesome and that we were about to work together and i was like, okay. i started to research him. i watched all of "friday night lights" for the first time. cold in calgary, there wasn't much to do. i went on a jesse plemons -- >> >> jimmy: breaking bad"?
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>> i've not seen "breaking bad." >> no, sorry. that's the last thing he wants to watch with me. when am i going to watch "breaking bad"? >> jimmy: i don't know, tomorrow? >> tonight? [ laughter ] kids screaming at me? no. >> jimmy: he's great? "breaking bad." he does terrible things in that, jesse pinkman, a fellow jesse. >> yeah, yeah. aaron, who we also hang out with sometimes. >> jimmy: you know aaron paul too and you've not watched "breaking bad"? >> no. >> jimmy: wow. do they get bummed out or they don't care? >> i don't think aaron's wife's seen "breaking bad" either. maybe she has. >> jimmy: come on, now, that's not possible. >> i remember she didn't see something and i was like, "oh, you're like me." >> jimmy: wait a minute. >> sorry. >> jimmy: okay. so you're telling me that aaron paul and your husband hang out together? >> yes. >> jimmy: do people go absolutely berserk when they see them together? >> i'm trying to remember if we've been really out, like out, out --
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>> jimmy: does aaron paul ride in the trunk when you guys are driving around? [ laughter ] see, if you knew the show, you'd know what i was talking about. [ laughter ] >> i watched "el camino," the movie that was the post-"breaking bad" movie. >> jimmy: you skipped to the end? >> skipped right to the end, yeah. i was like, why does he have to go to canada? >> jimmy: oh. well, i'm jealous. you have a lot of great things ahead of you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: maybe if you like "breaking bad" you guys will get married. i'm going to watch this show, then i'm going to decide at the end of it. it's great to see you. the movie is "the power of the dog" in select theaters tomorrow, on netflix december 1st. kirsten dunst, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with wilbur valderrama. that's our mission. we chose our new spark cash plus card from capital one, because it gives us unlimited two percent cash back on everything we buy. and it has no preset spending limit, so our purchasing power adapts to our business needs.
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when you switch to the network that can deliver gig speeds to the most businesses. or get started with internet and voice for $64.99 per month with a 2-year price guarantee. give your business the gift of savings today. comcast business. powering possibilities. he gives voice to the animated disney movie "encanto." [ doorbell ] >> we may nothing. we did not break into bruno's tower, the magic is not dying, the house is not breaking, luis' gift is not fading, no one will know. act normal, no one has to know. >> i know. >> jimmy: "encanto" opens in
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theaters a week from tomorrow. say hello to wilmer valderrama! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: wilmer, you look very handsome. >> thank you, sir. >> jimmy: last time i saw you, you were a single man, women were begging you to make love to them. [ laughter ] you had not a care in the world. now -- >> so much has changed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you've become a father now. >> yes. >> jimmy: you've really grown up. >> i really have, you know. i think -- the suit stayed the same size, i'm very grateful for that. [ laughter ] how's everybody feeling tonight? [ cheers and applause ] it's been a long time. >> jimmy: has it really? >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: how long has it been? >> one of my producers told me -- i guess i haven't been
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back in almost 10 years. >> jimmy: what? is that right? you actually look a little bit better. [ laughter ] >> thank you, thank you very much. i started to feel very close to probably what matt damon feels like. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, is that right? >> i was like, maybe this is on purpose. >> jimmy: you're not supposed to say that name, bad things happen, he would appear. [ laughter ] you have a baby girl? >> i have a baby girl, nican och nicanoschiana valderrama, she turned 9 months yesterday. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's great. is that a family name, nicano? >> no, inspired by a trip to japan, a trip where we said "i love you" and we both agreed a family is what we wanted with each other. so when we went to name our daughter we said, how can we commemorate that day where she was a possibility? and we went back to an ancient female samurai, an honorable
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geisha, female samurai by the name of keiko nikano, so we took that nikano and gave her a strong japanese name. and my lady is a scuba diver, a dive master. >> jimmy: i knew one day you'd marry a cube demaster. i said that, right? 2005? >> yeah, you said a diver. >> jimmy: "one day you're going to settle down in the bottom of the ocean." >> i think it was exactly that way. >> jimmy: this movie "encanto," i was reading a review, the critic said it was the best disney animated movie in six years. >> yes. >> jimmy: there's been some pretty good ones. >> i'd say so, i'd say so. no, i got to tell you, they released a little clip in which they did a memory of all 59 titles they have released to date. and they proudly announced the 60th animated feature by the walt disney animation studios, and it was "encanto."
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and the screen was filled with butterflies and flowers. to be the 60th film in the legacy of films that have shaped so much about how we wonder about our life, how we dream about things, how we believe in oursss -- >> jimmy: and our whole childhood. >> our whole childhood, and multiple generations of childhood, if you think about that. and it's nothing short of an honor. >> jimmy: yeah, that has to be crazy to see "snow white," "peter pan," "the lion king," then this movie you're in. >> i was in tears. >> jimmy: your daughter will not appreciate that at all. [ laughter ] just so you know. when she sees it, she'll be like, "okay, dad, can we get po pizza?" that's how it will go. [ laughter ] >> i've been trying to do a lot of stuff -- i started with "handyman" if you remember. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, you did "handyman," that's right. >> thank you. and i started with "handyman" because i remember my nephew, which i brought my nephew to watch "the wiggles" here with
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you one time. >> oh, the wiggles were here. >> jimmy: in the audience. he was really young. i developed with disney "handyman" because of that reason, i saw what he was watching, i thought man, he really needs to grow up with something that reminds him of who he is and he can see himself in it. coming full circle, i feel like i've been back, this content for my daughter when she grows older. >> jimmy: right, each generation of children in your family, you have something for them. do you think god gave you a daughter to punish you? [ laughter ] for being so -- i mean, did that occur to you at all? >> it doesn't feel like a punishment. but now that you mention it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it will eventually. [ applause ] as you know, i think about you a lot and what you're up to. >> no, you do, you do. >> jimmy: i'm always interested in everything. were you in the delivery room? >> i was. >> jimmy: you were? >> i was, and i was really
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blessed. during covid, you know, our baby -- and i want to give a shout-out to my lady. she went through an entire pregnancy, gave birth, and the first eight months of that baby's life, in the middle of a world pandemic, she couldn't even leave the house. >> jimmy: not the ideal time, yeah. >> not the ideal time. but in many ways a very serendipitous time to build the bond and really figure out, what are we when we are? when we are parents? and being in the delivery room was one of the most magical things i've ever experienced. and also one of the funniest experiences of my life. >> jimmy: why was it funny? >> i don't know, i took it so serious. as we say in the streets, i think i did the most. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy, so on the left hand i have her left leg. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> with the right hand i have the back of her neck, and i am talking over the doctor, telling her exactly, "baby, you got to push through the bottom, like
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use your lower abs, push with your lower abs." the doctor's, okay, keep telling her. "i feel like we need music, a soundtrack." the doctor and nurses are looking at me like, is he serious? "hey, babe, what song do you want to listen to?" she's pushing. she goes, "push it." [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right. >> and you know what? she pushed it real good. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wilmer valderrama, everybody. "encanto" opens in theaters a week from tomorrow. be right back with gracie abrams! ♪ i'm a reporter for the new york times. if you just hold it like this. yeah. ♪ i love finding out things that other people don't want me to know. mm-hmm. [beep] i just wanted to say... ♪ find yourself in these situations and see who you are.
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♪ oh we almost got away we cut it close ♪ ♪ the city's getting loud if i choke it's only 'cause i'm scared to be alone ♪ ♪ been trying to work it out you should know ♪ ♪ i would do whatever you wanted we don't have to leave the apartment ♪ ♪ met you at the right time this is what it feels like ♪ ♪ living in a movie i've watched and funny 'cause i couldn't have called it ♪ ♪ met you at the right time this is what it feels like ♪ ♪ oh
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the train was cold we left connecticut ♪ ♪ we stayed a couple hours our clothes matched enough to throw me off a bit ♪ ♪ your phone was playing towers ♪ ♪ and i would do whatever you wanted we don't have to leave the apartment ♪ ♪ met you at the right time this is what it feels like ♪ ♪ living in a movie i've watched and funny 'cause i couldn't have called it ♪ ♪ met you at the right time
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this is what it feels like ♪ ♪ and i need you sometimes we'll be all right ♪ ♪ met you at the right time this is what it feels like ♪ ♪ and i miss you some nights we'll be all right ♪ ♪ met you at the right time this is what it feels like ♪ ♪ and i would do whatever you wanted we don't have to leave the apartment ♪ ♪ met you at the right time this is what it feels like ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: "the jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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>> jimmy: i want to thank kirsten dunst, wilmer valderrama and gracie abrams. apologies to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. tomorrow night, michael keaton and john wilson, with music from the war on drugs. "nightline" is next. i'm going to hide under my desk until you come back. thanks for watching, goodnight.
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this is "nightline." >> tonight -- >> free julius! >> time running out for julius jones. >> oklahoma is at risk of executing an innocent man. >> two days away from the death chamber. >> they get you in, but it takes an act of god to get you out. >> the celebrities pleading for his life, his mother desperate to see the only man who can save her son, oklahoma's governor. >> i'm believing in god and trusting in god. plus lady gaga in "house of gucci." >> it was a name that sounded so sweet, so seductive. >> letting up with oscar buzz. >> bravo. >> how did you become her? >> i spent six months working on her accent. >> and what


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