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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 26, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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on jimmy kimmel, charlie dale. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- charlie day, colman domingo, and music from iann dior featuring travis barker. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. thanks very much. hi, everybody. welcome. thank you. relax. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us. it's a big, it's a notable occasion for us here at the show. it's our 19th anniversary tonight. [ cheers and applause ] 19 years ago.
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the date was january 26th, 2003. we went on live after the super bowl. we've seen a lot since then. wars, disasters, donald trump, a pandemic. [ laughter ] charlie sheen, snooki. we even deep fried a ventriloquist puppet on the show. [ laughter ] we added up, we did some math. 3,416 monologues, had more than 10,000 guests, and bumped matt damon 2,663 times. [ applause ] and yet, people still don't know the difference between me and jimmy fallon. it's very sad. [ laughter ] someone dug this up today. the week before the show premiered i had an interview with diane sawyer on "good morning america," and i don't usually like to toot my own horn. but for the young people watching, this is the kind of enthusiasm and passion you need to launch a show and keep it going for almost 20 years. >> you're going to have a debut after the super bowl. >> what? >> yes.
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pressure -- >> i wasn't told about this. yeah, the pressure is on. but it's mostly on the people that hired me. worse comes to worst, i get thrown out, i cash the check, you never hear from me again. i'm on some reality island somewhere. >> you're that guy who suffers. >> yes, with gary coleman and gilligan or something. >> jimmy: and now, sadly, gary coleman and gilligan are dead. [ laughter ] so i'm on the island alone. but i do have guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] happy anniversary guillermo. >> guillermo: thank you! >> jimmy: the cletos, our band that has been with us since the beginning. here's all you need to know about how things go around here. to celebrate 19 years, abc got us a pretzel truck. you know those hot pretzels? [ laughter ] i don't know, this is fine, we like pretzels. the thing is, we got a pretzel truck to celebrate the anniversary. about 3:00, i was like, "hey, what happened to the pretzels?" "oh, they're gone. they were good, though." [ laughter ] back when we started, we didn't have enemies really, outside of jay leno. now it's a constant battle.
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a person named rob schmitt who works for newsmax. they're the ones who pushed the made-up dominion machine story and are now too scared to mention it. if you mention it on the show, they freak out. they had a reaction to a joke i made about peter doocy of the fox imaginary news channel. peter doocy is fox's white house -- they call him a reporter, but really he's a guy who puts on a little show, he asks stupid non-questions to waste everyone's time. and the other day, joe biden didn't realize he had a microphone on, he called him a dumb son of a bitch. [ laughter ] i had jake tapper on and said the following. here you are, defending peter doocy, who as far as i've been able to do is indeed a dumb son of a [ bleep ]. >> now all in with democrats in charge, it would seem jimmy kimmel is, conservative reporters like peter doocy,
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james rosen, are part of an apparatus that is keeping these clowns in the white house from fully destroying this country. look at how terrible things are going and kimmel is all-in on it. without their tough questions, those reporters, america would be clueless to the extent of the failures and the disaster that this white house has become. >> jimmy: you know what, you're right. dip-schmitt. i hadn't thought about it like that. [ laughter and applause ] without hard-hitting conservative heroes like peter doocy, who would stand up to ask our leaders tough and meaningful questions like this? >> for how long has the administration been spying on people's facebook profiles, looking for vaccine misinformation? >> the secretary of state a few days ago tweeted, i hashtag stand with ukraine. has that ever worked at stopping an authoritarian regime from doing anything, a hashtag? he is an expert on the process. has he ever been chased into a restroom?
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in your relationship with the president, raised the point that you are not going to support anything that he comes to you -- >> why would you say something that stupid? why would you ask something that dumb? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i miss him. when people from both sides of the aisle come together to say, peter doocy is stupid. i mean, come on. speaking of dumb people, eric trump, familiar with his work? [ laughter ] he was on fox last night. that's the closest he can get to a zoom with his dad. [ laughter ] in some ways, you really have to hand it to this family. because what they say is in no way affected by what's true. >> by the way, all of america's angry. you know why? unlike my father, he's never present, right? my father sat there 24 hours a day and fought for the united states' best interests. >> jimmy: well, i agree with the "sat there 24 hours a day" part. [ laughter ] you forgot to mention, "on the toilet, pleasuring himself to lou dobbs."
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[ moans and laughter ] he left the key part out. donald trump played 87 rounds of golf in his first year on the job. and he's still out there, by the way, teeing off and getting ready to get back to not working. >> first on tee, 45th president of the united states. >> 45th and 47th. >> 47th, yes. >> jimmy: you know, some caddies really know how to wash balls, they do. [ laughter ] i learned today that trump might be in the rough money-wise. according to a new story by "forbes," you're not going to believe this, he may have exaggerated his wealth. [ laughter ] in 2020, "forbes" estimated trump had about $93 million in cash. interesting. as recently as 2015, he told "forbes" he had $793 million in cash. probably just a rounding error of $700 million. now i haven't dug through his financials myself, but here's the thing -- a real billionaire
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doesn't play a billionaire in a pizza hut commercial. [ laughter ] in the same way the geico gecko isn't actually an insurance agent. he's making money now, though. team trump was busy this afternoon texting, trying to get donations based on the big supreme court news this morning. if you haven't heard, justice stephen breyer, who is 83 years old, is reportedly planning to retire at the end of this session. he says he's retiring. i think we know what is really going on. he's pregnant. [ laughter ] he's having an old baby. but this is a big deal because now joe biden will get a chance to replace breyer, who's old, with another liberal. biden said he will keep his promise to nominate a black woman to fill breyer's spot. you know who he should nominate? i was thinking about this today. i have a great idea. i'm not even kidding. this is a great idea. joe biden should nominate -- anita hill. to be on the supreme court. [ cheers and applause ] how good would that be?
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>> guillermo: hey, that's a good idea. >> jimmy: she marches in, sits on the bench right next to clarence. [ laughter ] cracks open a can of coke. "hey, clarence, how was your weekend, bitch"? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] right? he has to do this. the winter olympics are i guess coming, i don't know. [ laughter ] they're happening in beijing next month. covid or not. there will be no spectators, and now olympic officials are warning athletes to avoid handshakes, high fives, or hugs. while they're over there. but the are still planning to hand out condoms. [ laughter ] which is confusing. what about people who like to high five after sex? what are they supposed to do? [ laughter ] what about us? covid isn't the only menace china is fighting ahead of the games. they're also cracking down on the internet. for whatever reason, the cyberspace administration of china has announced plans to "purify" the internet
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before the olympics start. they're planning to get rid of all obscene and vulgar content to create a, quote, "healthy, happy, and peaceful online environment." they want to get this done in time for the lunar new year, which starts at the beginning of next month. if china doesn't successfully purify the internet by the start of the lunar new year, then marty mcfly's parents will never kiss at the enchantment under the sea dance. [ laughter ] and he'll never be born. [ applause ] this is the kind of thing china does a lot. they sanitize things they deem immoral, including, turns out, the endings of hollywood movies. remember the movie "fight club" with brad pitt and edward norton? spoiler alert, plug your ears. it ends with ed norton's character killing tyler durden, brad pitt's character, and blowing up a bunch of buildings in an attempt to reorder society. and i guess the chinese weren't crazy about that, so they made some changes. >> however, the film has been altered to omit this scene. >> instead, it offers a caption
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"changing up how we all saw it here. that caption letting audiences know police figured out the plan and arrested all criminals just in time to prevent the destruction, adding tyler durden was committed to a lunatic asylum. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they changed the ending to "fight club." they just changed it. they've done this with other films too. did you ever see the edit they made to "titanic"? here it is. the large ocean vessel receives minimal damage from its collision due to the reinforced superior chinese steel hull. the vagabond pickpocket jack is justly struck with blows and rendered a stuttering fool for attempting to woo a businessman's fiancee. the boat remains anchored off long beach over unfair western trade embargos. [ laughter ] [ applause ] this feels like it could be a movie plot. it's very cold in some places, including florida, where they
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now have a very florida-y kind of problem on their hands. >> it's raining reptiles in south florida. iguanas are falling as the trees as temperatures begin to drop. they're not dead, they're just immobilized because of the cold weather. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not a weather phenomenon, that's a plague. [ laughter ] god is trying to tell you something, florida. frozen iguanas falling from the trees is actually one of the more normal things going on in florida right now. [ laughter ] with that said, it's time for another hilarious edition of "this week in florida." [ applause ] >> jimmy: dressed like winnie-the-pooh. bear attacks happen here in california too, but our big problem is humans. [ laughter ] over the last year or so, southern california has been hit with a very old-fashioned type of crime wave. train robbery.
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thieves have been looting railroad cars filled with amazon packages. they'll take stuff out of the boxes and leave the junk behind. so it's robbing and littering, which is the worst kind of robbing. [ laughter ] there's been an increase of 160% since last year in thefts along the railroad tracks in l.a. county. in the olden days, train robberies were such a problem they had a special police force to deal with them called the pinkertons. and now with train robberies on the rise, the pinkertons are back, led by detective mick "mickey" j. mcsullivan. [ laughter ] who is standing by with us right now. hello, detective, officer mcsullivan, are you there? >> hello there! >> jimmy: now mick, there haven't been train robberies or pinkertons in like a hundred years. >> that's because yours truly put a stop to them. >> jimmy: you put a stop to -- wait, you put a stop to them? how is that possible? how old are you? >> i'm 151! but i've been frozen for the
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last 106 of those years. >> jimmy: you got rid of all the train robbers? >> aye! i was too good at me job. so dewey decided to dunk me in lake superior, freeze me in a chunk of ice. then if train robbery ever returned, they'd haul me back up. >> jimmy: joey? that's president biden? you know him? >> i know him. he used to babysit me when i was knee-high to a tinker's teat. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: joe biden, the president of the united states, thawed you out to stop these railroad crimes? like sylvester stallone in "demolition man"? >> sylvester stallone? that sounds like an eye-talian name. >> jimmy: yes. >> bunch a no-good tomato eaters. tomatoes destroy the eye-talian's moral center. leads 'em to fornicate with other men's wives. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: that is not true at all. >> we'll agree to disagree. >> jimmy: so how are you planning to catch these guys? >> easy as puttin' me fist through a gooseberry pie. first, i call the local parishes and ask the parson who's been skipping out on sunday mass. anyone missin' church has surely been train theivin' and layin' with another man's wife. >> jimmy: i'm sensing a recurring theme with the wife thing here. >> oh, these parcels are being shipped from the amazon. we've got a band of amazonian pigmies sent these rubber horseshoes and have come to steal them back. >> jimmy: hold on a second. i don't think that is a horseshoe. [ laughter ] i think that's a personal massage er, mick. and those boxes are from amazon. the company, not the amazon. >> look at this one, you've got one here addressed to you. >> jimmy: oh, my nonstick muffin
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tray, i'm baking this weekend and i was -- >> well, you nibbling nipple nurser. italians, nothing but dirty macaroni-slurping thieves! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm italian myself and i don't appreciate the slurs. >> i should have known. you've got the beard from your mother, you did! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: please now, don't talk about my mother. >> well, you don't plunge your jingling johnny up my wife! i know who you are. giuseppe, the muffin merchant! >> jimmy: my name is jimmy and -- >> you've got no right to put your greasy mediterranean pig whistle near her hind seat! just because she flaps open like a civil war hospital tent and she's looser than a coal miner's teeth and she gobbles up alcohol when she's trying to win a licorice-eaten contest. and her bosoms have been bit by
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every [ bleep ] grocer from here to -- oh, oh! >> jimmy: oh, that is absolutely -- yes. >> what a gal. i think i burst a kidney again. giuseppe, find yourself a spirited woman. >> jimmy: appreciate it. from "euphoria," coleman domingo is here. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, we're back.
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tonight, from "euphoria" on hbo max, coleman domingo is with us. then later, a rapper, singer, and songwriter, his album, "on to better things," came out last week. music from iann dior on the mercedes-benz stage. travis barker on drums. tomorrow night, we welcome jackass captain johnny knoxville, meredith hagner, and music from the walters. you know our first guest as a man named charlie, which is great, because that is his name for 15 years on "it's always sunny in philadelphia." next, you can see him stretch his acting chops in the new romantic comedy, "i want you back." it premieres february 11th on amazon prime vide. please welcome charlie day. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how's it going? >> congrats on 19 years. >> jimmy: i appreciate it. >> we got 15 years. >> jimmy: 15, yeah. >> it's close to 19.
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>> jimmy: the last four are the hardest, really. >> yeah. this was my first talk show, by the way. >> jimmy: nice. mine too, same here. >> i don't think i own a suit yet. >> jimmy: is that true? was there a time where you didn't have somebody getting your clothes ready for a television appearance? >> oh, yeah. like maybe that all happened within the last three, four years. where i was like, you know, you've got to not go to like a walmart to get your suit. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> stepping it up. >> jimmy: yeah, you look good. i know -- by the way, congratulations on your podcast. last time your buddy, your partner, rob, was here. you were just about to launch it. now it's one of the top podcasts in the world. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, that came as a surprise. you know, because we said, let's talk about this show. pretty much we just argue about parking spots and things like that. but people are enjoying it. i recently thought, you know, maybe we need to mix it up, try some new things.
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i'm thinking about adding a hotline so we can talk to random people. >> jimmy: so wait, your new development will be something that's been done on a.m. radio since the '50s? [ laughter ] >> that's right, yeah. getting tired of hearing celebrities talk, let's hear from the people, the man on the street. >> jimmy: aren't you do the "super mario brothers" movie? >> yes, i am. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: playing luigi? >> yes, in fact, i was working that this morning. i'd love to tell you all about it but they are top secret with this stuff. >> jimmy: is that true? >> absolutely. this is serious stuff. [ laughter ] you know, these are nintendo -- >> jimmy: have you read through the whole script? >> i know nothing. >> jimmy: for real? >> i know nothing. i show and up they're like, "you say this, you say that." it's all funny and good. then i walk out and there's like two guys in overalls with hammers that are like, "don't you tell nobody nothing about this!" "swear to god, we're going to get your kneecaps, we're gonna
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break your neck!" [ laughter ] you are luigi, you are one of the brothers. they won't tell you? >> mario's probably in the know. [ laughter ] they don't tell luigi anything. >> jimmy: you record together? like chris pratt is mario, right?p>> yes. we do not. >> jimmy: you don't? >> no. we go in one at a time. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: they split you up? >> yeah, yeah. maybe they don't trust me around pratt, i don't know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: or maybe this is all a trick. and you're doing voice-over with, like, kevin spacey and bill cosby or something like that. [laughter ] and they're going to reveal this to you on the poster. >> i would -- first of all, i would not be surprised. secondly, i don't even know if i'm really in the movie, you know? [ laughter ] i feel that way about every m mov movie. five weeks in, actually, it's when it wraps and it's going to the theater that it's like, i'm in the movie, they didn't cut me out. >> jimmy: have you been cut out of a lot of movies? >> one movie. >> jimmy: did they tell you
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beforehand? >> they did not tell me. but i only had one line. and that line was -- i was a drug dealer in washington square park. and it was with chris rock and anthony cop tins. "bad company." i walk up to a lady, "yo, mama, smoke-smoke?" >> jimmy: it didn't make the cut? >> didn't make the cut. >> jimmy: so you went to it, then you weren't in it? >> i probably blew it, i might have said it backwards. "smoke mama yo-yo?" they're like, he can't get it right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you started off doing -- i know you did voice-over for what channel was that? >> i was the voice of the independent film. >> jimmy: ifc, right. >> yeah. if you heard, "coming up next on ifc," that was this voice, for some reason. they decided that was a good voice. >> jimmy: how long did you do that for? >> three years. by the way, i almost didn't get that job. because i was up for it, they said okay, we want you to go record. and i had a call-back for the movie "8 mile."
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do you remember? >> jimmy: eminem's movie. >> great movie. curtis hansen was a great director. and i said, i don't want to do this voice-over thing, i have this call-back, they're at the same time, i'm going to the movie audition. and my agent called me back and he said, i don't think you understand, you could buy a house with this job. i'm like, what do you mean? i thought i was going to make like $70. no, you might make $70,000. so i went. i did the job. i did it three years. i bought a house. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. the day i bought the house, i went to record. there was someone else in there recording. i thought, that's odd, must be a schedule mix-up. much like getting cut out of a movie and forgetting to tell, they had fired me. forgot to tell me. so the day i bought the house, i lost the job. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. so i'm thinking, okay. i can't afford this house. you know, this is -- i'm in over my head are but that was the same day that i got a phone call from my manager saying, you sold
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your television show, "it's always sunny in philadelphia." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. >> worked out. it worked out. >> jimmy: isn't that crazy? charlie day, the new movie is "i want you back." we'll be right back. >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by the captain morgan super bowl punch bowl, the only punch bowl worthy of super super bowl lvi. enter for a chance to win. ♪
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hill, we just can't take him anymore. >> uh-huh? >> instead of calling our exes let's call each other. >> i love that. because we're intercepting each other's sadness. >> yes. >> we're each other's sadness sisters. >> sadness sisters sounds like you're diane keaton, i'm meryl streep, we're in a broadway play, but i like it, yes. >> that's a great cast. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: two of the funniest people around, "i want you back." look at you in a romantic comedy. >> about time. >> jimmy: it is about time. >> i thought it was going to be too late. i'm turning 46. by the time it comes out, they don't want a 40-year-old guy. but i think i'm playing 15. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have a youthful look. >> thank you. >> jimmy: the movie is about a couple, they both get dumped, and then, well -- i don't want to ruin anything. >> they get dumped, then they team up to try to win their exes
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back. and basically she starts flirting with the new boyfriend th of my ex-girlfriend, i start trying to work out -- her ex-boyfriend was a trainer, i play a guy who was in the not in shape, so perfect. >>. >> jimmy: did you have to get out of shape? >> there was a moment i was debating, do i get in shape? as if it's toward the end of the movie and i've been working out with the guy? or stay out of shape for the beginning of the movie? the whole thing shoots too fast to do the transition. i thought, out of shape, it's funnier. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's always funny. >> nothing funny about a guy in shape. >> jimmy: no, it's annoying. >> upsetting and frustrating. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, yes. talk to rob, tell him to eat. >> i do talk to rob. the year that he wanted to get in really great shape for the show i was like, why do you want to ruin our show? [ laughter ] nothing funny about abdominal muscles. >> jimmy: your real-life wife is on the show. she plays a waitress on the
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show. it's your unrequited crush or love or whatever it is. and how long have you guys been married now? >> a long time. we've been together 20 years. >> jimmy: together 20 years. >> we've been married i think 15. >> jimmy: you and rob are with kaitlin and mary, your wife, you guys really took a big risk with being on the show. because if god forbid something -- half of marriages don't work out. >> it sounds like the making of a great lifetime movie, right? [ laughter ] the drama on set! they were fighting, they this guy slept with that guy's wife! but you know, none of us are that interesting. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: because you would have to potentially write each -- i don't know what you'd have to do. >> yeah, so i think our marriages will last as long as the show keeps going. [ laughter ] that's probably why i've been doing it so long, you know? [ applause ] >> jimmy: what was your first on-camera acting job? not voice-over. >> i did a bunch of commercials.
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>> jimmy: you did do commercials, right. how many did you do? >> i did a lot of commercials, yeah. i can't remember exactly. maybe ten? >> jimmy: ten, okay. >> i did a big one, i did a cascade commercial. >> jimmy: yes, okay, yeah. >> they -- this was an exciting day for me. they flew us to miami, florida, to shoot this commercial. nothing about the commercial takes place in florida. but for whatever reason they said, it has to be florida. i thought, okay, this is interesting. so myself and this older actor who was playing my father in it. i'm on a plane from new york. we land. we check into the hotel. he says, do you want to go out to dinner? and i think, oh, i guess so. so we go out to dinner. and it's this very romantic dinner. me and this guy, probably 70. and the guy's coming over, playing violin, and he's like,k, would your lover like more soup? i'm not some miami boy toy, yeah. i'm sorry. it was fine. you know.
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it was a good commercial. >> jimmy: we have the commercial, actually. >> you have the commercial? >> jimmy: that's how it goes. let's take a look. >> let's see it. >> you finally made it. >> thanks. >> you got your whole life ahead of you, what are you going to do now? >> thought about working. looked into retirement. looks good. going to play a little canasta, shuffleboard, golf. a little shellfish, salsa saturdays, bingo mondays, i'm retiring. >> want a step you can skip? cascade complete helps you skip scrubbing and rinsing. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're very cute together. >> yeah, he was an excellent lover. he was. >> jimmy: charlie day! "i want you back" opens february 11th in movie theaters. we'll be right back with dou domingo. ster bath. you created your own style. and you - yes, you! turned a sourdough starter into a sourdough finisher. so when you learn your chronic dry eye is actually caused by reduced tear production due to inflammation
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>> jimmy: with the big game coming up, it's time to take a look at the year's top super bowl party inventions. [ cheers and applause ] our first inventor is guillermo. what's your invention, guillermo? >> jimmy: jimmy, everyone loves guacamole. everyone loves volcanos. so say hola to the guac-cano! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. very good. >>. >> guillermo: very good. >> jimmy: you get an a-plus. next up is our announcer.
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lou, what is your super bowl inventi invention? >> lou: seven layer dips are fun, but you know what's even better than seven layers of dip? >> jimmy: eight layers? >> lou: uh. yeah. [ laughter ] eight layers of dip. >> jimmy: i didn't mean to ruin it for you, lou, sorry. that's lou, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and finally, we have super bowl champ victor cruz and matty benedetto. the unnecessary inventor. what have you two brought us? >> we're spicing up your super bowl party with this epic captain morgan super bowl punch bowl. >> jimmy: wow. >> filled with our delicious custom captain morgan punch pre its own scoreboard, bluetooth speakers, and reacts to the game in real lime. >> like when a team is in the red zone, it will light up red. >> jimmy: of course it does. >> and it can serve 32 people. >> jimmy: how can i get my hands on one of these? >> captain morgan is giving the super bowl gift away, just one, we've only got one of these. >> jimmy: oh, so i can't? >> i don't think so. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: lou, tell everyone how to enter. >> lou: bring on the spice to
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your super bowl party. enter for a chance to win a captain morgan super bowl punch bowl by going to superbowlpunchbowl. must be 21 to enter. [ cheers and applause ] now does anyone want some eight-layer dip? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [touch down] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: music from iann dior is on the way. our next guest is a very talented and tony-nominated actor whomyou know as the responsible adult on the popular show "euphoria." new episodes come out sundays on hbo max. please welcome colman domingo. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. now, this is a good look. >> oh, thanks so much, man. i thought a little shine for my first nighttime, you know. >> jimmy: good, good, it's great to have you here. [ cheers and applause ] where are you from originally? >> i'm actually from philadelphia, philly. >> jimmy: what part? >> west philly born and raised.
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>> jimmy: oh, like the fresh prince. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: do you know the fresh prince? >> i actually did know the fresh prince. i knew will. we went to high school together. although, you know. we went to high school together, i was in a gym class with him, a science class. but he was part of the cool kids. >> jimmy: you weren't? >> no, i was a geek. >> jimmy: if you'd worn that outfit, you would have been part of the cool kids. >> i needed this outfit in high school, trust me. >> jimmy: jazzy jeff? >> no, he went to bartram high school. jeff and will would perform at the winn ballroom in best philly while i was somewhere getting punched in the face. >> jimmy: i was thinking about -- i saw you in "ma rainy's black bottom." you've been in serious stuff. "fear of the walking dead." "selma." you know what you've been in. [ laughter ] i didn't know that you were in a sketch -- on a sketch comedy show. i had no idea. >> yeah, i was in a sketch comedy show with kate mckinnon.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yes, the greatest, yeah. >> she's awesome, yes. we did this show a thousand years ago on the logo network, "the big a sketch show." >> jimmy: i remember the title. i don't think i ever saw it, but i do remember that. >> it was wild. the beginnings of "rupaul's drag race." the tent poles of that network. we would perform everything. i played maya angelou. [ laughter ] nick cannon. morgan freeman. i had a good time with maya angelou. i would read posts from craigslist's "missed connections." >> jimmy: as maya angelou? >> as maya angelou. dirty things. "hi, i'm maya angelou. poet, actress, civil rights legend. today on craigslist, i'll be reading from the "missed connections" section entitled "hot chocolate looking for a chub." [ laughter ] things like that. >> jimmy: did you ever hear from her? >> no, i never heard from her no.
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>> jimmy: does oprah know you did this? [ laughter ] >> she actually does. >> jimmy: oh, she does? >> she does. i actually did oprah as well. >> jimmy: oh, you did oprah. >> i did a version of oprah and it's a really weird, dark, crazy, highly sexually charged sketch. [ laughter ] and i do a lot -- my oprah was this. i would do a lot of yelling. hi, everybody! i just did that over and over again. and i wore like an oprah outfit, a wig, the whole nine. i did find out that she found out that i played her. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. >> jimmy: who ratted you out? >> lee daniels. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: lee daniels? >> i'm going to get you, lee. lee called me up, you know, i showed oprah you playing her. and i was mortified. because it's -- okay, the sketch has -- at some point i'm wearing a ball gag in my mouth. [ laughter ] she's having crazy sex, doing weird things.
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every time i've seen her, because i've been very friendly with oprah. every time i see her i always feel like she looks at me like "i know what you did." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh! >> she's jovial and friendly. >> jimmy: never brought it up? >> never brings it up. maybe she's waiting. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when you're at your most vulnerable. >> exactly. . >> jimmy: that's crazy. have you been to her home? >> yeah, man, i've been to her home in montecito. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> i went there for a legends brunch and ball. >> jimmy: oh. >> honoring civil rights legends like john lewis. all these legends. sidney poitier, you name it. she had this huge, gorgeous brunch on her land, and her hand is called the promised land. i mean, imagine that. going to a place called the promised land. i think it signifies, hey, this is where you can dream. you could have this too. i started to dream bigger too after that. >> jimmy: well, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] wow.
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that's -- i'm just -- trying to imagine the whole thing. >> you can't. >> jimmy: yeah, no. >> you can't. i think -- look, i was -- i saw a picture of myself at that brunch. and i'm just crying the whole time. i'm like, i don't believe this is happening! [ laughter ] look who's here! i felt like i was a weeping mess. >> jimmy: maybe that's why oprah didn't bring up the imitation. [ laughter ] >> yes, it's too much, just too much. >> jimmy: this guy's very vulnerable. >> yeah. >> jimmy: now you're on "euphoria" which is a big hit. [ cheers and applause ] i have to tell you, a lot of our staff is very excited. they love your character on the show. ollie. and this is a -- i mean, this is a show that is disturbing to a lot of people. >> yeah, some people just can't watch it. especially people with teenage kids. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> i actually think it's like -- the most amazing thing about the show is that i play a character who is really sort of the -- i don't know, he's holding everyone to their truths.
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he is a real steady guy who's also a recovering addict. he's sort of that quiet in the storm of all these wild kids doing wild things. but he sort of grounds and anchors the show. >> jimmy: who is more -- maybe the word effusive? who's more passionate? the fans of the show "euphoria" or "fear of the walking dead"? >> the fans of "fear of the walking dead." i play a villain named victor strand. they see me in the market, "i hate you!" [ laughter ] i don't get that from "euphoria." "oh, ollie, be my friend, be my sponsor." people want hugs from ollie. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. the show is "euphoria." sundays on hbo max. colman domingo, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, colman. we'll be back
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>> lou: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. i'm greg, i'm 68 years old. i do motivational speaking in addition to the substitute teaching. i honestly feel that that's my calling-- to give back to younger people. i think most adults will start realizing
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that they don't recall things as quickly as they used to or they don't remember things as vividly as they once did. i've been taking prevagen for about three years now. people say to me periodically, "man, you've got a memory like an elephant." it's really, really helped me tremendously. prevagen. healthier brain. better life.
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>> lou: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to charlie day, colemman domingo, james domemy, and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. tomorrow night, johnny knoxville and meredith hagner with music from the walters. "nightline" is next, but first, this is his album "on to better things." here with the song "obvious" with help from travis barker, iann dior! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ now can you hear me when i call your name it's kind of scary it's like i'm ♪ ♪ calling the dead and late at night
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when i'm thinking 'bout it i could choose this ♪ ♪ too hard to believe i could be a coward and run away this time i don't wanna ♪ ♪ i'm in your face i pull up on you i'm at your door ♪ ♪ you better answer i know you're home ♪ >> wait. hold up. play what you were playing again. ♪ ♪ can't be told what to do don't even give it a try i'm not the type to lose what was it in your eye ♪ ♪ when i walk in the room know you feeling my presence she don't like how i move leaving you was a blessing ♪ ♪ didn't want to bring it up but i feel it is obvious ♪ ♪ it's hard to be around someone tat never learned to love themselves ♪ ♪ already learned
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my lesson girl you know that we've been here before ♪ ♪ we've both been here before don't get too comfortable ♪ ♪ da-da-da-da-da-da da-da da-da ♪ ♪ da-da-da-da-da-da da-da da-da-da ♪ ♪ never sit 'round got a lot to do never text back 'cause i'm on the move, yeah ♪ ♪ like a brick when it hits your face heartbreak you're a little taste, yeah ♪ ♪ got me feeling wavy don't [ muted ] up the vibe tonight ♪ ♪ think your friends don't like me when they hear me they'll slide tonight ♪ ♪ didn't want to bring it up but i feel it it's obvious ♪ ♪ it's hard to be around someone that never learned to love themselves ♪ ♪ already learned my lesson girl you know that we've been here before ♪ ♪ we've both been here before don't get too comfortable ♪ ♪ da-da-da-da-da-da da-da da-da ♪ ♪ da-da-da-da-da-da da-da da-da-da ♪ ♪ never sit 'round got a lot to do never text back 'cause i'm on the move, yeah ♪
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♪ like a brick when it hits your face ♪ ♪ heartbreak you're a little taste, yeah ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, american journey. one woman's harrowing escape from the taliban. >> safety is something that we didn't have for years in afghanistan. >> our rare access inside the tent city on a u.s. military base where she found refuge. >> we're taking care of people who have taken care of us. >> her life in limbo. how will she make her way. >> it is just a new country, a new culture, a new land, a new people. >> closing in on the american dream. >> i just feel like home. plus supreme court opening. justice stephen breyer stepping down. >> i think this is a huge moment for the court. why now? >> and the history president biden could make


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