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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  February 10, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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the makes up down to curry, chae for the lay-up, off the rim. how did this not fall? unreal. six seconds left, dubs down two, steph going to inbound to klay. good look, off the mark. warriors lose. they host the lakers saturday night. bryant young was inducted into the pro football hall of fame. the niners all-time sack leader was drafted eighth overall in 1994 and spent his entire 14 year career in san francisco. other notables include cliff branch and deck for mia. midway through the second 11 off the bench.
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oregon answered every stanford run. harmon will finish this fastbreak. game-high 21 for him. stanford falls. saint mary's got ranked for the first time since 2019 and immediately lost, taking it out, game-high 16. they end the half on a 20-3 run, led by 28 at the half. judo brown is going to get the big slam. the gales when further -- win. gabe stephanie had nine triples some the first half. usm had 15 the don's win. they get their 20th yea -- 20th
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>> you can always watch us on your phone or your tv no matter where you are with of the abc 7 bay area app. we are streaming 24/7. >> thank you for watching tonight. >> we appreciate your time. right now jimmy kimmel, arnold schwarzenegger. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!"
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tonight, arnold schwarzenegger and rachel wolfson. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hello. hi, everybody. thanks. hi. very nice. welcome. relax, please. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thanks for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. you came on a good night. we have a fun show tonight. mr. olympia himself, the former governor of our state, arnold schwarzenegger, is here. [ cheers and applause ] i'm very oiled up underneath my suit. arnold, of course, if you're not familiar, is the host of "celebrity apprentice" who did not plug up the white house toilet. [ laughter ] did you hear about this? i know that sounds like just a crude joke.
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so you know how trump had a habit of tearing up documents at the white house, official documents? he'd rip them to pieces and throw them away? well, the papyrus has thickened. according to a book written by the highly esteemed maggie haberman of "the new york times," the white house engineer, kind of the plumber, i guess, would frequently be called in to unclog the president's toilet. [ laughter ] because he had a habit of flushing papers down it. for real. [ moans and applause ] of course, it wasn't long before trump started denying the story. today, mar-a-cloggo put out a statement that said, "another fake story, that i flushed papers and documents down a white house toilet, is categorically untrue and simply made up by a reporter in order to get publicity for a mostly fictitious book." [ laughter ] by the way, this mostly fictitious book? he sat with maggie haberman for two lengthy interviews, in person. in florida. but it's all made up. haberman was on cnn where she was asked if she was sure it was trump who was clogging up the
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pipes. >> his toilet? no mistaking whose toilet it was? >> it was in the pipes. i mean, it was in the pipes. and this was -- this was -- this was his bathroom. so yes. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i want you to think about the fact that donald trump actually had to come out and in writing deny he clogged up the toilet at the white house. [ laughter ] this is a conversation you have with your 3-year-old. "did you flush papers down the toilet?" not the former president. it makes sense because for whatever reason, trump is obsessed with toilet flushing. >> people flush toilets 10, 15 times as opposed to once. we won't talk about toilets. that's it. the only subject they ever talk about is toilets so i don't mention it. the headline was "trump with the toilets." toilets. sinks. all right? showers. and what goes with a sink and a shower? ten times, right? ten times.
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not me, of course, not me. i don't say it. every time i say it, they only talk about that one. because it's sort of gross to talk about, right? so i won't talk about the fact that people have to flush their toilet 15 times. i will not talk about it. >> jimmy: all right, well. [ cheers and applause ] we'll take you up on that. i mean, really. how great would it be if this is what finally brings trump down? toilet water. [ laughter ] it's toilet watergate! and, of course, because they are on the opposite side of every issue, president biden is at work trying to roll back the changes trump made to toilet and shower head regulations. >> i'm joe biden, and i approve friends, we're battling historic drought. the water waste is so damaging to the environment. so i'm reversing our reckless policies toward showerheads. too much water pressure is bad news for lakes and rivers and you and me.
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you don't want water blasting out of your showerhead. it will wind up on your ass, man. bathtubs are slick, jack. we're all getting older, afraid of taking a bad spell in the tub. that's why i'm also pushing for lots more safety bars in the shower. catch you when you're going down. one of them little doors on the tub so you don't keel over when your knees are acting up. a fall will kill you. when your hip's bugging you, you get your own nurse to sponge you off. i'm president joe biden and we'll leave the light on for you so you can kick back, relax, and pee in the tub. [ laughter and a applause ] >> jimmy: seems like a weird way to stay warm. here's another one from the maggie haberman book. which doesn't come out until october. i'm not sure i can wait for that. since he left office, trump has stayed in touch with the leader of north korea, kim jong-un. i had a feeling this would happen. he held kim jong-un's hand more than melania's.
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[ laughter ] it's weird to think that the relationship between kim and trump could last longer than kim and kanye. [ laughter ] [ applause ] can you imagine? and i know we imagine this a lot. can you imagine if obama kept in touch with kim jong-un? i'm sure fox news would be super cool with that, right? [ laughter ] meanwhile, obama and trump's former doctor in the white house this guy who's a real wingnut, now a congressman, ronnie jackson, is trying to stir up some kind of controversy about biden's mental fitness. >> and that cognitive test, my understanding, and you've described it to me before, is not easy. it's extraordinarily hard. there are 30 questions, if i remember correctly, and donald trump got all of them right? >> that's right, absolutely. you've got to get a 26 on it to be considered normal. i don't think joe biden could get anywhere close to that. i mean, not even anywhere close to that at this particular point. that's what concerns me about this right now. >> jimmy: what are you worried
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he's going to do, flush a bunch of documents down the toilet? [ laughter and applause ] by the way, the test trump was bragging about passing a couple of years ago? you remember, "person, woman, man, camera, tv"? it's a one page thing called the montreal cognitive assessment. hannity described it as "extraordinarily hard." and maybe for him, it is. but these are some of the real questions from the test. you get two points for knowing what year it is, and what city you're in. you have to rearrange the numbers 2-1-8-5-4 in numerical order. which trump knows, because those are all mcdonald's extra value meals. [ laughter ] you have to state what objects, like a banana and an orange, have in common. you have to correctly identify a lion, rhino, and camel. which are all -- don jr. shot all of those, so that's easy. [ moans and applause ] and under "language" they ask to name as many words that begin with the letter "f" in one minute, you have to get 11 or above. that's fun. "fun" is one, right?
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[ laughter ] let's see how long it will take me to come up with 11 words that start with "f" related to donald trump specifically, all right? let's set the timer. and here we go. fraud, failure, fat-ass, fried chicken, fake, felon, fascist, feble-minded, feckless, fickle, full of crap, foul, frightening, philanderer. oh, that's a "ph." but an "f" sound. how many seconds was that? 13? all right. guillermo, any i missed? >> guillermo: [ bleep ] face. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ rim shot ] >> jimmy: meanwhile, melania is up to no good. as her husband is gearing up to launch his own social media platform, melania just signed up to help the competition. melania is teaming with parler, which is the social media app for those who are somehow too
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awful for twitter. [ laughter ] she said she's doing this because parler, quote, "empowers its users to foster productive discourse." yeah. that's parler, all right. [ laughter ] she also said "i am excited and inspired by free speech platforms that give direct communication to people worldwide. parler has been on the forefront of utilizing web3 technology." that's so melania. that quote, right? [ laughter ] no one loves utilizing web3 technology like she does. [ laughter ] let's be honest, the only parlor melania ever cared about has the word "beauty" in front of it. okay? [ laughter ] this is one of the more amusing stories i've seen in a while. i know it's only february, but this might turn out to be the story of the year. in russia, there was a security guard at an art gallery who decided to use a pen to draw eyes on a painting that is worth at least $1 million. this is the painting. it is called "three figures." this is before, and this is after he got to it photo. [ laughter ] he said he did it because he was
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bored. oh, and it was his first day on the job. [ laughter ] also his last day on the job. could you imagine doing something like this? on your first day, no less? let's look at that again. [ laughter ] i don't know, maybe it's better now. maybe he's banksy. [ laughter ] you have to wonder how they hired a person who would do -- you'd think the first question you would ask an art gallery security guard would be, "you won't, like, draw all over the art, will you?" [ laughter ] the oscars are coming up next month. the "hollywood reporter" revealed attendees at the oscars will not have to show proof of vaccination. which i assume is the academy's roundabout way of announcing rob schneider is hosting the show. [ moans and laughter ] it's rob and nikki minaj's cousin's friend. you will only have to get a pcr test at the door. to enter. why they are doing this, i don't know. maybe they have some extra spots in the "in memoriam" to fill?
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[ moans and laughter ] the rumor is that some of the actors, including some who are nominated this year, aren't vaccinated. and they don't want to lose them. so now it's up to us to wildly speculate as to which ones they are. [ laughter ] let the witch hunt begin! i wonder how the right-wing news outlets are going to handle this? is hollywood a bunch of hypocrites? or are the stars just like us? [ laughter ] you do have to show proof of vaccination to get into the super bowl. the super bowl is on sunday, here in l.a. it's supposed to be 86 degrees on sunday. it's going to be so hot they're doing the gatorade dump before the game on sunday. [ laughter ] it's expected to be the hottest super bowl ever, which makes sense. this year?een the quarterbacks - oh, my, wow. [ cheers and applause ] matthew stafford and joe burrow. wow. is this the super bowl or a new season of "bridgerton"? [ laughter ] this is how much times have changed. the first time the bengals went to the super bowl, back in 1981, the quarterback looked like this. [ laughter ] ken anderson.
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he's got a super bowl cut. he didn't even need a helmet, they just shellacked his hair. sent him out there. [ laughter ] and with the game happening here, we thought this might be a fun to do one of our "lie witness news" segments. we assumed l.a. fans, who are not known for their football mania, wouldn't know anything about the game. turned out we were wrong. we asked people if they enjoyed watching the super bowl before it happened, and no one bought it for like once, which was kind of good news, i guess. they all knew the game was on sunday. except for one guy who is tonight's most valuable pedestrian in a very special solo edition of "lie witness news." [ cheers and applause ] >> as you've heard the big news, everyone's really excited about the rams having won the super bowl. did you have a chance to watch the game? >> i didn't get a chance, but i did hear the hype around it and the excitement from everyone in the city. >> what have you heard? >> um -- i've heard mixed reviews about a little bit of
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drama that's been happening because of the result of the game. but other than that, everyone's pretty happy with the result. >> and were you excited to see the rams' first female player, lucy van pelt? [ laughter ] >> yeah. any time women get to step into the spotlight in a male-dominated industry, it's definitely exciting to watch for sure. >> do you think it was unfair how she took that ball from under charlie right at the last minute? [ laughter ] >> i mean -- if a man had done it, would it have been unfair? i feel like there's a lot of double standard that comes down to that. no, i don't think it was unfair, she was just playing the sport. >> good grief. the play-by-play call when the rams hit the winning field goal, it was awesome to see o.j. simpson? >> yeah, you don't see him in the industry anymore, he's basically been blacklisted. it's cool to be able to see him come back and show face, definitely. >> it was nice to see him get a second chance, you think? >> yeah, i think so.
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i mean, i do believe, you know, we're deserving of second chances regardless of anything that goes on in this world. >> like murdering people? >> uh -- i mean -- yeah, i mean -- people have been murdering people for centuries. i mean -- to be able to, like i said, show face, that's a big thing. i'm sure it's -- it's overcoming a lot of fear, i'm sure, you know. >> so it was brave of him? >> i think so. i mean, i think so. i do believe that o.j. deserves a second chance. >> forgive and forget? >> yeah. >> move on? >> yeah, like i'm saying, it's such an unforgiving world. we need to change that narrative for ourselves, you know. become humanity, you know. show humanity. >> what about o.j. simpson's call when the kick went through and he was like, "he killed it, he killed the ball." was that the right choice of words? >> uh -- i feel like anything he says is going to be looked at
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under a microscope, you know. like super closely. so he could have really said anything and it probably would have set people off. but being a celebrity, i'm sure that's par for the course, you know. just censoring what you have to say sometimes. >> is it weird that he's tried to trademark that phrase, "he killed it"? >> i mean, we live in a time where branding is such a huge thing and that's what people focus on is just branding, branding, branding. i think that's what he's trying to do. i don't think he's going about it the right way, but it's probably the only way he knows how. o.j., we support you, we forgive you. >> take care, can't wait for sunday. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, well. looks like o.j. just found a new caddie. oh, well. we've got a great show. from "jackass forever," rachel wolf son is with us. [ cheers and applause ] and the one and only arnold [ cheers and applause ] and the one and only arnold schwggso
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>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight, from "jackass forever," rachel wolfson is with us. she is the first woman to join the "jackass" crew, kind of their jackass robinson, if you will. next week, we've got new shows, once again, with seth rogen, robert pattinson, mark wahlberg, foo fighters and ringo starr, with music from spoon and aj & aly. please join us for all that. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest has been one of the most famous human beings on earth for most of his life, really. he was governor of the state of california, and he told us he'd be back.
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he kept his word. please say hello to arnold schwarzenegger! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ chee applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i like it. you still know the poses, huh? >> i thought i was in a body building competition. [ laughter ] the standing ovation, that was great. >> jimmy: what did that feel like, to be out there with almost no clothes on, flexing your muscles, and people going crazy? >> oh, it felt fantastic. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's like, you know -- it's something that you always dreamt of as a little kid. >> jimmy: not me. [ laughter ] >> you end up being on this stage here and getting the
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standing ovation, you have something. >> jimmy: i have to talk, i can't just walk out and people go, "oh my god, he's beautiful, stand up and clap!" >> it's fantastic. you just move the pec muscles. [ cheers and applause ] but ianyway, it's great to be back here. last time i did the interview, it was online, like a zoom meeting kind of a thing, right? >> jimmy: right, right. >> which was fun, but to come into the studio, to see the audience -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy great to have you here. if don't mind, with a political question. when you were governor of the state of california and you would get documents did you ever tear them up and shove them in the toilet? [ laughter ] >> well, i had kind of like a government -- i mean, a policy of, let the sun shine in. >> jimmy: i see. >> everyone should see everything that we did. >> jimmy: not just the plumber?
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[ laughter ] >> not just the plumber. i never flushed any documents or shredded any documents, as far as that goes. >> jimmy: speaking of the sun shining in, i'm interested in every aspect of your life. what do you do right when you wake up in the morning? what happens? >> the first thing i do is i always get up very early. like quarter to 6, 6:00, i get up. otherwise the animals are complaining. >> jimmy: oh, right. >> the first thing i have to do, the first hour, is feeding the animals. i mean, when lulu starts screaming, my little miniature donkey -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: lulu, the mini donkey. >> screaming at 6:00 in the morning. if she doesn't get attention, if you don't let her out of the stall, run around in the grass, back in the stall. the same with whiskey, the miniature horse, the pony. then i have dutch, the big dog, he wants to have his food, and he's crawling, he doesn't get the food. i have a little puppy, she's biting my toes if i don't feed
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her. [ laughter ] all this is going on at the same time. if i don't feed them, they wake up all the neighbors, that i can tell you, they scream that loud. >> jimmy: uh-huh, you do farmer's chores in the morning. >> it's so much fun. i think it's therapeutic. it's wonderful when you get up in the morning, the only thing you think about is the animals. feeding the animals, making them happy. to get the dynamics going. luna and whiskey, they're invited into the house always. i feed them cookies, oatmeal cookies in the kitchen. [ laughter ] the dogs get jealous, i have to feed them oatmeal cookies. they're specially made for the horses, really, but they taste good, so i eat them. [ laughter ] the dogs eat them. the horses eat them. everyone eats them. [ applause ] >> jimmy: what a menagerie, wow. that is crazy. who aren't aware of what's going to happen? >> well, you know -- we have house guests coming over. my dog chomps at them. all of a sudden lulu runs through the house. my cousin was here not too long ago, just before christmas. and she was like in shock
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because she never thought or knew that the animals come through the house. >> jimmy: yeah. >> she saw the miniature donkey run into the house. [ laughter ] screamed loud. demanding cookies, you know. "all right, lulu, come on down." and she says, mein gott, arnold. [ speaking german ] meaning, "there's a stable, what is it doing here in the house?" [ applause ] >> jimmy: is the sequel did "twins," is that still on track? "triplets"? >> tracy morgan and danny dev devito. we're going to start shooting in the fall. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you know tracy well? >> tracy is a fantastic guy. i met him a few times. then we got together with this. he's a fantastic entertainer. great actor. great energy. and he's also at the age where we can make him a little older to sell the idea that it's the same age as danny and me. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the idea is the triplets --
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>> jimmy: that's not the biggest leap people have to take. [ laughter ] >> oh, the storyline is really fantastic, i tell you one thing. we've been tengerring around with that story for ten years. >> jimmy: ten years? >> ivan reitman took part of it again, the original director. he took charge of it, became passionate again, that there could be a sequel, he really got into it. he straightened it out. we have a straightened script. we have the script. we cannot wait. >> jimmy: i can't think of a group of three people who would be more fun to hang out with than you, tracy morgan ask, danny devito. [ laughter ] forget what goes on screen, this is an unbelievable group of-screen. you and danny are really friends, right? >> very, very good friends. we have had so much fun doing "twins" together, then doing "junior" together. >> jimmy: you look for things to work with him? >> absolutely, absolutely.
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and he's a great guy. >> jimmy: you guys pull pranks on each other? because i know danny is a bit of a prankster. >> well, so am i. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> so we all do this little thing that you do in a movie -- well, there was one time, i was shooting "junior." i remember it was lunch break. danny said to me, come to my trailer, i cooked some good italian food. i said, okay. we ate the italian food, it was delicious, the pasta, all the stuff that he had. then he made some coffee, some espresso. then afterwards he says, arnold, you always give me cigars. i always feel guilty. i have cigars, i want to give you a cigar. i said, that's fine with me, danny, this is really great. he gives me this cigar, really long one, beautiful cigar, monte cristo rosario. he comes to me with the lighter, we light it up, i'm smoking it. it was fantastic. we get to the set. we continue on with the scene. i forgot my lines.
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i'm standing in front of the camera, it was a closeup. danny is behind the camera. and the director says, action. ivan reitman. and i said -- [ laughter ] what am i supposed to say? we continue on with the scene from before lunch, danny and you are talking about going out, you're now pregnant, all those things. no, i don't remember, what did we do before lunch? i had to go to the script supervisor, check out the script. i totally forgot everything. find out an hour and a half later, i started remembering things again. danny put some marijuana in the cigar. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i was stoned out of my mind. and i'm standing there going in front of the camera, forgot
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everything. danny was going to ivan and saying -- i was so embarrassed. danny was always kind of like -- [ laughter ] so i mean, those are the kind of pranks we do. >> jimmy: i like that. >> i did the same thing to him. put out the cigar, gave him the one with marijuana. he has a nose for marijuana. [ laughter ] i swear to it. i give him the cigar. it was that far away. he said, "there's some grass in it." [ laughter ] the coolest thing, working with him. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i saw this -- i think you posted this and i thought, oh, there's a movie. arnold schwarzenegger is playing zeus. but it's not a movie. it's a super bowl commercial for bmw? >> that's right. bmw. >> jimmy: did you want people to think that it was a movie and lead them in that direction? >> i think that's how you tease something, to let the people know there's something coming out like that.
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but you don't give them the whole story. the next thing, a little teaser trailer. then a bigger teaser trailer. then a teaser for the teaser trailer. [ laughter ] then you do a poster for the teaser trailer. finally you come up to the commercial. i tell you something, i have never gotten so much publicity for any commercial i've ever done. [ laughter ] this is all over the world. >> jimmy: the super bowl hasn't even happened yet. >> zeus, zeus. the god of lightning. >> jimmy: zeus, the god of lightning is with us. arnold schwarzenegger will be right back. >> portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by zaxby's, the people who put the wingin guy on a buffalo wing. my fellow gods, the dark skies have spoken it is time for zeus and i to retire. but where will you go?! zeus! sorry, zeus! i ed a charge on the - whoa! thanks!muertosel] sweetie, it's not rocket science.
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i'm heading out. don't forget to take peggy for a walk. mmwah! yo, zeus! ah! a little juice?! that's it, i'm done with this place. we'll see about that. everything ok out there, baby? lil peggy - go on a little walk, huh? i figured you could use a little pick-me-up. all electric? all electric. the bmw ix. electricity in its ultimate form. [ singing ] ♪ electric avenue, ♪ ♪ and then we'll take it higher! ♪
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there are some days that nothing can prepare you for. but being ready— it's about how you react. so when new challenges come up, you find a new way forward. when you meet other people facing what you faced, you start a business dedicated to helping them. and after you've achieved all that, you take on what's next. care coalition, it's so good to see you all! alright! let's brainstorm. any ideas for new members? i'd like to nominate alaska airlines. this neck pillow i'm dating says great things! a caring airline?! wait, those exist?! it says here they were the first airline to switch
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from plastic bottles to boxed water. they also hire a lot of people from caring professions. i'm seeing former teachers and nurses. it's settled! alaska airlines is officially in the running! round of applause!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: well, we are back with the great arnold schwarzenegger, who is celebrating not only his performance as zeus on super bowl sunday, but also you're going to be a grandfather again for the second time. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's right. >> jimmy: your daughter katherine, her husband chris pratt, have blessed you with yet another child on the way. >> on the way, and i tell you one thing, it is the easiest thing to be a grandfather. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: why do you say that? >> because they come over to the house, you play with lila for an hour or two, put her on the horse, put her with the dog, i play with the dog. after two hours, they leave. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's it. >> over are, it's fantastic, i tell you. i have a great time when they come over to the house.
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as you know. you're friends with chris pratt. he's a fantastic guy. >> jimmy: he is a great guy. >> a great son-in-law. i love my daughter, katherine is so wonderful and i'm so proud of her. they're great. when they come over, the whole house lights up. and the animals are there. and they are there. we play with -- >> jimmy: like the baby jesus in a manger, yeah. [ laughter ] do they tell you -- i don't know if they know, even. maybe it's going to be a surprise what the baby's gender is. would they tell you? or would they be worried that you would accidentally blow it? >> i really don't know. >> jimmy: you don't know. >> but i do blow it a lot of times. [ laughter ] yeah, absolutely correct. because i can't shut my mouth. blah, blah, blah. it could easily be that they know. i don't know. i don't think so, because i remember that my wife never wanted to know. >> jimmy: right, yes, same with us. yeah. >> it was always a guessing kind of a game.
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so i think because katherine is a lot like maria, i think that she probably would go in the same direction and not want to know. >> jimmy: yeah, gotcha. >> it's just a guess. also, she cannot trust me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: those two. there are two factors at play. >> exactly, that's right, yeah. >> jimmy: you put something on instagram that i thought was interesting. you shared an office with shaquille o'neal. what were the circumstances of that? >> well, i had an office, as you know, i built an office in 1984. it was finished in '85. then i wanted to not have the regular real estate office or commercial office with bank and offices in it. i wanted to bring entertainers in. and athletes. and shaquille o'neal was one of the guys that came in. so we kind of had to increase the doors and everything. [ laughter ] and the toilets, you talk about toilets. all of this stuff had to be increased in size, and offices,
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which we were very happy to do. you'd be surprised to know, johnny carson was in my building. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yes, for years and years and years. that's where he wrote all of his stuff, and he produced a lot of shows out of there. he loved the building. oliver stone was in my building. he was on the third floor. when you come out the elevator, you turn to the right, it's my office. you turn to the left, it's his office. i said, you get the left side of the offices because that's where you are politically. [ laughter ] you go to the left. the only problem with him, they were all really great tenants. but oliver stone, when he moved in, the whole building smelled of smoke, he was smoking so much dope. [ laughter ] everyone was always saying, who is getting loaded? all this stuff. put oh there were a lot of funny directors came in, producers. it was a wonderful building. >> jimmy: i love the idea of johnny carson having to waft through oliver stone's dope smoke. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: ever smoke dope with johnny carson? >> no, never. i have no idea if he ever
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smoked. >> jimmy: i don't know, maybe. >> johnny, as funny as he was on air, as serious as he also was sometimes about everything else. so johnny -- >> jimmy: that's one of the effects of dope. [ laughter ] >> maybe. >> jimmy: wild swings, from staring at your feet to being the life of the party. >> no, it was really wild that they would go into his office, he would show you the pictures hanging on the wall of all his guests that he had on the show and so on. but then all of a sudden the conversation turned to a serious conversation. about what was going on politically, what's going on in show business, this and that, the stock market, all this kind of -- so i did not know that side of johnny carson. >> jimmy: interesting. >> yeah, it was very -- great, great guy. very giving. and also was a great host, just like you. >> jimmy: now you're having breakfast with animals. [ laughter ] also, there's a fact about you that i think is interesting. i'm not sure if you're even aware of this. this is something i read. we put together a visual presentation to illustrate it. is that you have, as an actor,
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you have many films, punched moe animals than any other actor. [ laughter ] you've knocked more animals unconscious. and we have some evidence of that here. >> stay! ♪ ♪ ♪ >> you picked the wrong day. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no actual animals were harmed. >> where do you find this footage is my question. who put this together? >> jimmy: you did. [ laughter ]
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>> i forget half of it. it's just wild. we had a lot of fun, punching the horses. the key thing is to know we never touch an animal. >> jimmy: right, right. >> it is kind of a fake animal. >> jimmy: right, yeah. explain that to lulu and whiskey. >> exactly. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: arnold schwarzenegger, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with rachel wolfson. ♪ ♪ however you say 'i love you', we'll help you show it
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>> jimmy: it is thursday night. that means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> more than 1,000 truckers in the capital protesting a vaccine requirement to enter the u.s. using their big [ bleep ]s to drive home their point. >> good things happen outside of valentine's day, you know? >> that's true. >> 20 years ago today on a random night at a bar, i [ bleep ] my wife. >> nice. >> yes, i'm from missouri. but for the record, i [ bleep ] my mom with my mouth closed. >> join me in [ bleep ]ing my wife, karen pence. >> so here are the nominees for best international feature film. "[ bleep ] my [ bleep ]," japan. >> republican hal rogers [ bleep ]ed her in the [ bleep ] and told her to [ bleep ] my [ bleep ]. >> we have an up and down forecast. >> yeah, i like it too, it's
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quiet, yeah. i don't have to chug a lot of [ bleep ] this week. talk about the sunshine and get out of here. >> i'm okay. i have sand in my [ bleep ] hole. >> a doctor looked me in the eye and told me, you're not going to make royal rumble. i looked him in the eye and told him, he could [ bleep ] my ass. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll be back with rachel wolfson! ♪ singing and driving ♪ ♪ playing the drums ♪ ♪ what could be better ♪ ♪ taking a nap ♪ ♪ drive a friend home ♪ ♪ stop for a snack ♪ ♪ things you can't do ♪ ♪ using an app ♪ ♪ don't send emojis ♪ ♪ go hug your mom ♪ ♪ drive to the airport ♪ ♪ show him some love ♪ ♪ now grab a taco ♪ ♪ because it's late ♪ ♪ and tomorrow is ♪ ♪ a brand new day ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. our next guest is a very brave and arguably foolish young woman who took a break from stand-up comedy to risk her life for the honor of being the first pe female member of johnny knoxville's jolly band of lunatics. "jackass forever" is in theaters now. please welcome rachel wolfson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i'm great, how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing well. congratulations. i was watching the movie and i was like, wow, you really fit in with this group. >> i survived. >> jimmy: what a step for womankind. [ cheers ] so much history this. you're a heroine, a hero, whatever you want to say, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] to jump into that world of intense stupidity, and danger as well. did you know everything that was going to happen before you signed up? >> most i did not know. >> jimmy: you didn't know. did you know that you didn't know? or did they tell you something other than what happened was going to happen? >> well, i definitely -- i definitely didn't know most of what was going to happen to me. but yeah, you just never know what's going to happen on that set. >> jimmy: did you feel like you had to do whatever was thrown at you because you are the first woman to be a part of this? >> well, i told myself that i was going to say yes to whatever they asked me to do. and that i wasn't going to cry on set.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. yeah, crying wouldn't be great. >> there's no crying? "jackass." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: not only did you not cry, you quite clearly seemed to be the bravest member of the group. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you had almost no negative reaction whatsoever. >> i mean, i was definitely screaming on the inside. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm going to in a minute show something just horrible that you went through on the show. was there any conversation about this beforehand? >> when it came -- in regards to the scorpion? >> jimmy: yeah. >> there was one conversation, and it was like, are you comfortable doing this? and i said, i am. >> jimmy: okay. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: did they ask all the guys that? >> i don't think so. >> jimmy: no, yeah. [ laughter ] >> i don't think they consider their comfortability. >> jimmy: were there lawyers on hand, anything like that? >> there's lawyers on all hands, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: lawyers there, they're all watching this happen. and -- well, let's just take a look.
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>> oh! >> oh my god, that hurt so [ bleep ] bad. oh my god, that hurt so bad. >> it should. >> oh! [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] what kind of scorpion was that? >> i believe it was an emperor scorpion. >> jimmy: emperor scorpion? >> i think that's what it called. >> jimmy: you grew up in las vegas, as did i. those are not the kind of scorpions we have there. >> no, but they do have scorpions there. one time my sister found one in her leotard. then my dad ended up getting stung in the toe by a scorpion in the laundry room. i think that one was out for revenge. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: word got around about the wolfsons. >> yeah. >> jimmy: your dad is very interesting, the district attorney in las vegas. >> yes, he is, yeah. >> jimmy: which is crazy. and your mom is the judge who convicted o.j. after the whole -- the big trial that
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happened here in l.a., o.j. wound up doing time for that incident involving -- [ applause ] boy, that's got to be strange watch your mom. and also, i mean, what can you get away with when your mom is putting o.j. in? >> you cannot get away with anything. o.j. couldn't get away with anything. >> jimmy: yeah. what was the craziest thing you'd done before "jackass"? >> stand-up comedy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're not a thrill seeker in general? >> i think i am. i just never really tapped into that until i got on set. and i think now i am a thrill seeker. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's not great. [ laughter ] >> i know. it is for the movie. before, i was a chillseeker. now i'm a thrill-seeker. >> jimmy: now you're a thrill-seeker. johnny knoxville, as you know, had like a catheter in him for like two years as a result of this. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you think you might do this again? >> if they ask me, i would say yes in a


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